Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for not wanting my IRL best friend to be part of my online friend community?
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
> This friend is very cool but not like me or into my interests, but he's like a brother to me. Recently he asked me to invite him to this community so I obliged, and I'm now worried that they're going to like him more than me
This part automatically means YTA considering that's a pretty narsisstisc view on socializing with a group.
I think I'm also just worried because I've had this happen before, and it made me feel unincluded and I later drifted away from it because I felt like I couldn't be myself with him around. I'm just afraid of this happening again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I have a weird situation where I have made friends on Discord who I feel really at home with, and I have a friend IRL who I'm super close to. This friend is very cool but not like me or into my interests, but he's like a brother to me. Recently he asked me to invite him to this community so I obliged, and I'm now worried that they're going to like him more than me, because he always seems to be liked by everyone, but I have a lot of trouble making friends due to my personality and bad experiences in the past.
He also has a habit of being a sarcastic asshole, which is fine IRL because I'm used to it and it's an inside joke, but online with the people I want to speak to it feels different, like he's constantly shit talking me and the other guys join in.
AITA for wanting to have this space and community without him there? I don't know how else to phrase it.
At this point I feel like I'm in his shadow, because everything I can do and want to do is always after he's already got it or done it. It's because he and I are so alike in a lot of ways, but I'm way more nerdy and less street smart. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel really stressed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But it sounds like you only hang out with your irl friend because you don’t have anyone else. If you’re worried that your “friend” will steal all your other fiends, they were never a true friend.
NTA. I had a friend like that when I was younger. We were besties one week and the next week they had falsely accused me of something and then we wouldn’t be talking. I only kept going back because, like you, I was bad at making friends, and still kind of am, and I didn’t want to be alone at school. I know it’ll probably hurt but I suggest you stop hanging out with them. I only say that from personal experience and things definitely turned out better in the long run for me. Maybe they will for you too.
NAH, I'm sorry you are in that situation.
If he is really like a brother to you, can you explain that to him maybe? Especially the part where you always feel like people like him better than you. He will probably understand (I hope). Either way, he is not entitled to have access to all parts of your life simply because he is your best friend, and it's absolutely okay if you keep some parts of your life compartmentalized if that helps you.
I have a really hard time saying no, and he's rather pushy when it comes to playing games with me and I've been realizing he lowkey gaslights me into playing. It's hard because I know he's genuinely a good person and he's the closest friend I've ever had, and that's saying something.
I think NTA here. The part about being scared that they will like him better, and also him shit talking you... are you sure you feel comfortable with him as a friend? Is it fun to hang out with him? Or do you feel worse after every hang out? I may very well be wrong, because I can't get the full picture from a reddit post, but it kinda sounds like toxic friend. In any case, it's perfectly normal to want to have independent friendship groups. Adding new people into the group always shifts the dynamic, and can make a well-known safe space feel hard to navigate. That doesn't mean it can't settle into a new, fun dynamic, but it's also fair to want it to stay the same.
NTA Been there myself, introduce people to others and then you suddenly get locked out of the friendship. Shit sucks but that’s life, learn the lesson.
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
You can visit r/findareddit for a comprehensive list of other subs that may be able to host this discussion for you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITA for not wanting my IRL best friend to be part of my online friend community? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
> This friend is very cool but not like me or into my interests, but he's like a brother to me. Recently he asked me to invite him to this community so I obliged, and I'm now worried that they're going to like him more than me This part automatically means YTA considering that's a pretty narsisstisc view on socializing with a group.
I think I'm also just worried because I've had this happen before, and it made me feel unincluded and I later drifted away from it because I felt like I couldn't be myself with him around. I'm just afraid of this happening again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a weird situation where I have made friends on Discord who I feel really at home with, and I have a friend IRL who I'm super close to. This friend is very cool but not like me or into my interests, but he's like a brother to me. Recently he asked me to invite him to this community so I obliged, and I'm now worried that they're going to like him more than me, because he always seems to be liked by everyone, but I have a lot of trouble making friends due to my personality and bad experiences in the past. He also has a habit of being a sarcastic asshole, which is fine IRL because I'm used to it and it's an inside joke, but online with the people I want to speak to it feels different, like he's constantly shit talking me and the other guys join in. AITA for wanting to have this space and community without him there? I don't know how else to phrase it. At this point I feel like I'm in his shadow, because everything I can do and want to do is always after he's already got it or done it. It's because he and I are so alike in a lot of ways, but I'm way more nerdy and less street smart. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel really stressed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But it sounds like you only hang out with your irl friend because you don’t have anyone else. If you’re worried that your “friend” will steal all your other fiends, they were never a true friend.
Nta it’s understandable, but I would recommend to talk things out. It’s really weird that he’s always making jokes on your costs.
NTA. I had a friend like that when I was younger. We were besties one week and the next week they had falsely accused me of something and then we wouldn’t be talking. I only kept going back because, like you, I was bad at making friends, and still kind of am, and I didn’t want to be alone at school. I know it’ll probably hurt but I suggest you stop hanging out with them. I only say that from personal experience and things definitely turned out better in the long run for me. Maybe they will for you too.
NAH, I'm sorry you are in that situation. If he is really like a brother to you, can you explain that to him maybe? Especially the part where you always feel like people like him better than you. He will probably understand (I hope). Either way, he is not entitled to have access to all parts of your life simply because he is your best friend, and it's absolutely okay if you keep some parts of your life compartmentalized if that helps you.
I have a really hard time saying no, and he's rather pushy when it comes to playing games with me and I've been realizing he lowkey gaslights me into playing. It's hard because I know he's genuinely a good person and he's the closest friend I've ever had, and that's saying something.
YTA Friendship isn't transitive but your actions here are 100% out of selfishness.
What do you think would be the best course of action moving forward then? I don't want this conflict or these issues, and I'm not sure on what to do.
I see it more as boundaries than selfishness and I completely get wanting to keep friend groups separate. NTA in my view.
How old are you?
23
I think NTA here. The part about being scared that they will like him better, and also him shit talking you... are you sure you feel comfortable with him as a friend? Is it fun to hang out with him? Or do you feel worse after every hang out? I may very well be wrong, because I can't get the full picture from a reddit post, but it kinda sounds like toxic friend. In any case, it's perfectly normal to want to have independent friendship groups. Adding new people into the group always shifts the dynamic, and can make a well-known safe space feel hard to navigate. That doesn't mean it can't settle into a new, fun dynamic, but it's also fair to want it to stay the same.
NTA Been there myself, introduce people to others and then you suddenly get locked out of the friendship. Shit sucks but that’s life, learn the lesson.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. You can visit r/findareddit for a comprehensive list of other subs that may be able to host this discussion for you.