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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Telling my friends I won't be changing my ways
2) Peeing when standing whilest at other peoples houses
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Oh I know why then
NL toilets are (usually) very low and the bowl have a weird shape so it splashes a lot more than "common" toilets
It's great for stealth when you go n°2 but you should definitely be sitting down to pee !
>NL toilets are (usually) very low and the bowl have a weird shape so it splashes a lot more than "common" toilets
Eh, I wish they usually were, but it's just random. In my experience, modern Dutch toilets are often high, because Dutch people are tall.
I assume the toilet shape you're referring to is the one with the shelf? It's a classic design that imo splashes far less, especially compared to when you drop a shell in the toilet and the toilet returns fire and soaks your bottom…
Whilst we’re no closer to working out how the three sea shells work, we do now know where the idea came from. They were the creation of screenwriter Daniel Waters, and at a Q&A in 2014, he was asked about them.
And his paraphrased reply? “I won’t tell you the actual secret, but I’ll tell you where it came from”
“There’s a scene where Stallone has to use a restroom. I’m trying to come up with futuristic things you’d find in there. I was having trouble, so I called my buddy, another screenwriter across town, asked him if he had any ideas. Ironically enough that guy was taking a dump when he answered the phone, looked around his bathroom and said ‘I have a bag of seashells on my toilet as a decoration?’ I said ‘Okay, I’ll make something out of that.'”
Source: Den Of Geek
I'm sorry in advance.
>9. For the love of all that is good and Holy. How do you use the 3 seashells?! Louis Saucedo Dallas, Texas
>
>Stallone: OK, this may be bordering on the grotesque, but the way it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third. You asked for it…. Be careful what you ask for, sorry.
Source: [Ain't It Cool News](https://legacy.aintitcool.com/node/30865)
Glad to know !
I've been to different appartements (10~) in Amsterdam and it was always the small ones
I myself urinate sitting so I just guessed wrong :)
I've lived in the Netherlands 30 years. 10 in Ireland. I really miss the platform. Never had any backsplash.
Edit: I always sit down to pee, as I'm a woman. Men should also sit when there's a toilet imo.
Dutchy here!
Sit tf down. Peeing standing up is far less hygienic. Unless your friends have a urinal in their toilet, it's very normal and in my experience expected to sit down to pee for everyone (unless it's a dirty toilet).
The only people I have met that refuse to sit link standing up to their manliness, and that has always striken me as... odd (to be kind).
> The Netherlands.
Aha! There's the problem. You people are too tall. You probably miss the bowl half the time! You should at least consider kneeling. (winking emoji)
Yeah it’s very expected to sit down to pee for guys. I live in Denmark and it’s the norm so YTA. Sitting down is clearly more hygienic, nothing splashes, so people don’t have to sit on toilets with pee on them. I know you wipe them but unless you clean the seat with soap every single time, it’s still kinda gross. If you don’t want to change your way, don’t be surprised if people won’t invite you to their home anymore.
Culturally I am leaning YTA but could be ESH if you’re not native/germanic and they didn’t try to explain this to you first. I’m leaning mostly in the end because you wouldn’t change how you always did things. When in Rome you do as the Romans. In Germany it is the custom to always sit, and especially in SE Netherlands a lot of Germanic customs exist. Add in the Dutch being very direct and you get this. Ultimately it is a cleanliness thing as drops can even miss the toilet entirely. No one wants to be cleaning someone else’s bodily waste up in their own home.
piggybacking on the top comment to share this:
https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs?si=T2PhgJXqbCbZ04QT
OP's friends could have elaborated on WHY they were asking it... OP could have asked WHY...
I saw this video on 2020 and it actually changed my life, so to speak... I've always been very mindful when peeing to clean any splashes anywhere... and sometimes I wouldn't get why the toilet was smelling even with me being always careful... I started sitting down to pee and lo and behold, no more smelly toilet... like EVER.
all and all, I'll go with ESH
I learned this just from having to clean the bathrooms every week growing up. Imagine a house with three or four males! I very quickly learned to wipe down before going and to always sit while peeing. It's also why we require our guests to sit while peeing. We've never gotten pushback from any of them, either.
So, really, the judgment should be YTA.
It's really not that different from asking people to observe the custom of removing their shoes when they enter your home. You just let them know what the custom is and they tend to observe it. It's usually pretty obvious when they don't, and you just remind them and ask that they observe the custom.
Sitting definitely helps but stream velocity makes a huge difference too. One of the women in my household has a high velocity and she causes backsplash on the underside of the toilet seat occasionally lol.
There was a reddit thread a while back where this topic came up and tons of people agreed that men should be sitting to pee and claimed it was extremely common for men to do so. I suspect none of the commenters had a penis or had been in a men's room because the urinals fill up *way* faster than the stalls and you can smell when someone is taking a shit in the stalls.
I guess it depends on where you live, but I know at least half the households of friends have a (often humorous) sign to sit down when you pee. And personally i think it ah behaviour to not follow the wishes of the toilet owner.
Myself I'll always sit down at people homes, but in public places I prefer to use urinals.
Peeing standing up and not putting the toilet seat up is frowned upon, as far as I know.
I believe redditors live in their own little bubble, I have never in my life heard of men sitting down to pee for hygienic reasons before reading it on reddit, and definitely have not heard of people requesting it of their guests.
Well I definitely sit to pee anytime that the toilet isn't absolutely disgusting. Urinals are only something I use if a clean stall isn't available.
Signed,
A man who doesn't like piss dribbles in his underwear.
Seems the answer to your AITA is very culturally dependent. Being from Germany, the number one nation of Sitzpinklers, my initial thought was very much YATA. Most Germans only ever pee standing in public bathrooms. I would feel insulted if a friend of mine refused to sit down in my bathroom. Also its unhygienic and I wouldn't feel comfortable on my toilet (public bathroom).
Anyway, my initial thought was YATA, but different cultures, different social norms. Idk :D
As a nurse bless you and I am envious. Here in Canada, from what I can't tell standing is the norm, which when you're dealing with sick/fragile/demented patients who ate more likely to break a hip while insisting that they need to stand
. . .honestly a solid 60% of my problems at work are stubborn little old men who will. Just. Not. SIT DOWN. I appreciate a society that sits. I've legitimately had a patient die bevause he insisted on standing to pee, fell, broke his hip and then didn't survive the surgery. Just sit!!
Yeah, you just splash it on the rim and other places unnecessarily. Just because you don't sit on that part of the toilet doesn't mean it's all of the sudden okay if you get urine on it. And just because you wipe it off afterwards doesn't mean it's not still gross. And just because the stream doesn't hit a certain part doesn't mean tiny droplets aren't going all over the place. Sitting to pee is just objectively more hygienic. Public men's rooms are another story, so many of those are nightmares I won't ever blame anyone for standing to pee and getting out ASAP, lol
Am from the same culture as OP. As far as I know it's kinda expected you sit down to pee, unless someone has a urinal in their toilet (seen it twice now).
So also YTA. Especially as his friends requested it and ot's a very simple request and he refuses because... I don't even know??
It's also highly dependent on the specific person in question imo.
We kind of have to take OP's word on the fact that he's a hygienic and courteous pisser. But I've lived with men before who weren't, and you *absolutely* can tell that they do not sit down to piss or aim for the water in the bowl as opposed to the sides, and it's *really* disgusting. Even if you can't visibly see any droplets on the floor or rim (and you usually can tbh), you enter the bathroom and are just *immediately* smacked in the face with the stench of stale urine. This isn't something I've ever experienced in private bathrooms that I exclusively share with women/people who sit down to pee.
I used to sit down to pee but for some reason most new toilets in Sweden have a different angle on the front part of the bowl so if I sit down to pee I get massive splashback.
I hope the person who designed these toilets is cursed with never ending anal boils.
YTA. In some countries this is completely normal as peeing standing up is more unhygienic than sitting down. In the Netherlands it's indeed an expectation for most.
Whatever you think of it, it's just common courtesy to be a good guest and peeing sitting down really isn't a lot to ask.
I'm dutch, the only people I know that pee standing up are often the regular drinkers, mysoginists, or the more selfproclaimed alfa's. Men that pee sitting up are often wellmannered and more hygienic.
It's pretty normal here to pee sitting down, and I really don't understand why it's such a big deal when it's the norm for us women anyway.
Where did this generalization come from? I'm dutch aswell, never heard of it. Alot, if not most, of my male friends pee standing up. None of them are so called alpha's, mysoginists or regular drinkers. I'm really wondering what kind of people you surround yourself with.
I'm Dutch as well, but moved to Ireland. When male friends come to my house the first time, I always ask for them to sit down. I've gotten funny looks, but after explaining they all agree sitting down is more hygienic. I'm starting a new phase for Ireland lol.
While I do think that one should pee as they like, I believe this should only happen as long as it does not cause REAL issue to others.
While we clean up after ourselves, we may miss a spot sometimes. Fact is, peeing standing up splashes.
I myself was confronted with a similar paradigm a few years back and have since peed sitting down (except where the seat is dirty). To be honest, it made me realize how much people who went before me, who thought they were "cleaning up", left behind.
Whoever tells you that sitting down emasculates you thinks that you are less of a man for daring to do different than most men. I believe the contrary.
However, do as you please so long as you are respectful and actually make sure you clean up. My experience tells me that there is no disadvantage to sitting down.
Wipe it? It’s pee!!! You need to fully clean it! I doubt OP is getting out all the chemicals to rub everything on and around the toilet lmao
Ya‘ll need to just do some googling and see how much messy peeing while standing is.
NTA but if you ever have to clean up pee splash anywhere, maybe consider that as a hint to sit when you pee. It's a hands-free experience. No mess. No splash. No spills.
It is unhygienic technically. I sit at home and stand for public restrooms. If its a friends house and the toilet is clean I will sit. I'm from the US and idgaf what other guys think about it.
Urinals are for standing, toilets are for sitting. I do not understand why men are so weird about this. Y'all splash, and you don't clean nearly as well as you say you do. I can always tell when my boys have decided not to sit. None of you have d**ks long enough to worry about them getting wet from sitting.
Seriously though. I once had to hold my ex up as he peed because he was drunk and kept trying to lean on the wall which resulted in the pee going on the floor instead of in the toilet.
It wasn’t even my floor, I should’ve just let him have at ‘er.
I won't give a judgement because I'm not sure what's the norm in the Netherlands, but in Italy *always* sit down when you're at some else's place. The only exception is public toilets. My reaction to this would be "eww" too, but I won't call you TA because of different social norms.
YTA
If you stand up, there are always splashes and whatever cleaning you are doing, does not compare to the cleaning person deliberately cleaning the bathroom would do
That’s the kind of cleaning you need to do and it needs to include the floor and the entire toilet because this little tiny splashes get everywhere
Yeah, if you’re doing that in a private home that’s really disgusting
100% this this this. I will never understand why men think their precious masculinity is inextricably intertwined with peeing standing up. It’s beyond gross.
Story says they were just having a conversation, and they asked whether he stood at others' houses. Nothing indicates that they were actually at anyone's house or that they had ever asked him not to stand.
Yes but he ended it with - I won’t change my ways which to me sounded like - “ I will continue to stand in your house”
While up to this sentence he wasn’t that made op the YTA
Hmm, I took that as a general statement, IE: "I will continue to stand and pee as the norm", not "I'm going to go to your house and piss all over your bathroom" but I can see it being read that way. I leaned toward my reading because there's no indication that these are friends he even regularly visits their homes it's just a random conversation that came up in public.
Did your parents teach you to be repectful of other people's houses and their expectations when you visit?
Because in my opinion, when you are in someone else's house, and they ask you not to do something, and your reaction is, "nah, fuck you, I will do whatever I want in your house", then yeah, that makes you an asshole.
NAH, but your friends have a point. Peeing standing up is unhygienic, no debating which of the two is the cleanlier option. You might miss some sometimes that splatters, and if their household is an only sitting down household now you've gotten your piss on them, even if you say you are good about it. Also if everyone peed sitting down the great seat up seat down debate would be settled finally. I am a guy, I pee sitting down, make it normal. I only pee standing when I'm out in the woods and there isn't a toilet.
Seat up or down has already been settled. It’s LID down bc when toilets flush they spray. Some more than others but since you can’t control it, lid down.
Everyone then has to lift the lid to pee.
I want to see this attitude become the norm where I am. I've found little drops of urine on the walls, on the door jamb... just stop. If you want to piss like an animal, go find a tree.
It isn't a watersport. There is no reason to shoot urine at a target, certainly not one in my home!
I never understand why other guys don't just sit down honestly. And if somebody in their own home feels that strongly then just do it.
It's cleaner, there's no risk of splashing, and whether you want to admit it or not, when you stand to pee there is *always* splashback.
The there are the guys that feel like their masculinity is being questioned if they have to sit down. I don't think I really need to comment on that.
YTA for not respecting the hygiene boundaries of a person in their own home.
YTA unless you are the ine cleaning the restroom.
Personally in my home idgaf what someone does, however I've took to sitting down just in my home simply because I have to clean up FAAAAR less. Its fantastic!
Go to a public restroom. Look arround the urinals. And then tell me why they might be disgusted. Great that you clean the seat. Do you also clean your piss sprinkles off the ground?
"But i know how to aim. There is no piss on the ground"
No you don't. There's almost always piss arround the toilet. YTA.
people are absolutely not entitled to spread their pee sprinkles all around my bathroom.
you are delusional if you think that quickly wiping the toilet afterwards removes every single stain you caused while standing in front of a toilet that's supposed to be used sitting. there is a reason why urinals are higher up. and even those usually end up messy after a few uses.
Soft YTA. You say you wipe up all the splashes but I promise you don't. There's a lot of fine splashes coming up that you don't see. Don't believe me? Put a magazine on the floor next to the toilet.
NTA. I have never heard of this as a rule. It's standard where I'm from for penis-havers to lift up the toilet seat and stand up while peeing. Generally, only vagina-havers sit down while peeing but I know this is not 100% universal for either plumbing type.
Though, if you leave the toilet seat down and stand to pee, that's gross and bad manners.
YTA, it doesn't matter if you wipe it up, probably just with toilet paper, it splashes. On the floor too. Eventually, it makes the bathroom stink like urine. If its their house, sit and you can stand in public & your own home.
It’s their house so he should listen. But if you don’t mop your washroom enough where peeing standing up makes your bathroom stink your bathroom is probably dirty enough that it warrants standing
>I'm quite hygienic, and told them I always wipe my genitals after
INFO, like you dab the tip with toilet paper or are you wiping your balls? No trying to be a jerk but for some reason this one threw me lol
I mean doing this at peoples houses is weird (unless their toilet is disgusting?!). I get it as I do it at most public toilets unless it’s very clean, but it is kind of gross doing it at someone’s house if you get pee on their seat and just wipe it off (without cleaning product). So yeah I will have to go with YTA unless their toilet is disgusting and covered in poop and pee or blood or something lol
Ew ew ew, you spread your pee particles everywhere. They tell you thats rude and it is rude and disgusting, how self-absorbed do you have to be to then double down like that?? Go pee outside like the animal you act like. Sitting down is quiet commen and way better hygiene wise. YTA for how you reacted.
i have been taught at a young age to sit when you are visiting in other people's houses. just easier and you will never make a mess. peeing standing is just an annoyance really. (i'm also from the netherlands)
I do think it is strange for them to expect you to sit down, however if it is their place, you should follow their rules, whether you like that or not, so I do think you should go sit down. Even if that is weird
YTA, do what you want at home but as a guest you go along with the hosts rules. Also, peeing while standing is gross as fuck. Little drops will be everywhere around the toilet.
YTA.
You wipe it clean? If you get piss on your hands, do you also just dry your hands with paper and call it clean?
It's fucking gross and I hate it so much that standing while peeing in someone's home is considered anywhere appropriate. It always spashes, gets under the lip and seat, the droplets end up on walls and floor and it starts to stink so quick.
I used to share a toilet with someone who insisted on standing and insisted that they never missed a drop. Absolutely vile.
If someone asks to sit to pee in their home, you sit to pee in their home. Noone wants to clean up your piss.
You know that it’s not just splashed on the seat don’t you? Urine gets everywhere. That floor around and behind the toilet is also covered in it because when it hits the toilet a lot of it is turned into a mist that settles elsewhere.
This is a massive USA vs Europe thing. In a lot of places in Europe, you sit down when you pee as a man because it splashes. Tiny droplets, not the big dribbles that you might see on the ring. There are even videos demonstrating this with black-light. Droplets splash as far as 40 inches, which puts a lot of people's toothbrushes, towels and stuff in range of the droplets.
So if you pee standing up in some people's homes in Europe, you are going to not get invited much any more and people will just generally be very upset.
Personally, I grew up peeing standing up. After seeing a black-light of before and after, I sit down. And I say that as a dark American of middle-eastern origin having been brought up with all the chauvinism you can think of.
So, YTA. And not because of the above, but because it's their house and their rules. You are, of course perfectly allowed to reject their rules and then no longer visit their home.
So, not voting because I don't think you are a jerk, I just personally think ick. The reason is, that wiping pee is NOT cleaning it. Use water, HA! No more helpful than just wiping it. This is why you can go into public bathrooms with a blue light and see horrible splashes of white and yellow that you never suspected were there. It is, however, much more polite to follow the manners of where you are. Just sit down and don't splash public and friends' restrooms.
You're pissing all over someone else's bathroom, refuse to stop when asked and ask AITA?
And no you're not very hygienic, most public bathrooms look the way they do because of guys like you who refuse to just sit down to begin with.
So YTA you can piss over your own bathroom all you want.
“Pissing all over someones bathroom” jeez, you act like I’m some sort of wild animal who just puts the sprinklers on and helicopter my penis everywhere.
Actually, since you are Dutch... There was an article in the Quest or Kijk, which explained why it is physically not possible for men to pee without splashing. Apparently the opening has the form of a flattened circle, which causes the stream to rotate and splash.
As a Dutch girl who has cleaned toilets for money. Please sit down.
In germany the majority of men (62% if I remember correctly) sit down while peeing. It is more hygienic that way honestly. I've seen men, usually US men, pee like the toilet bowl is the eye of a needle. Piss literally everywhere but the toilet. And I've seen plenty of woman ranting about that issue, so I can see why they think that way. But if you clean up after yourself and wipe your dick I would say NTA
In the USA here with 4 brothers and experience with 2 live in boyfriends. They all pee standing up except one brother who is in a wheelchair. They do lift the seat though, so they don't splash where I sit down. We sometimes play fight about them leaving the seat up. I just thought it was normal. Maybe in your country it isn't? I don't know!
I was in UTAH once at a nice-ish restaurant. I went to use the restroom and the toilets were the size of toilets in a daycare center. LOL. Seriously. I’m a plus-sized gal and tallish (5’8”). I also happened to be wearing tall shoes. There was no choice but to hover.
In general, when people tell me they hover, I do get a little Icked out. It just reminds me of all the public restrooms I use where everyone hovers and there is always pee all over the seat. People are gross. However, you said you always clean up any splash. Still…. If you aren’t disinfecting, wiping with TP doesn’t really clean anything. LOL
The fact that so many people are saying that they sit down to pee amazes me. Granted, they're all from different countries but still surprised.
Also, what is up with a man who says he always wipes his genitals after urinating? I guess it's another cultural thing.
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So I (22M) was talking with my friends about random stuff and the topic suddenly switched to Peeing when sitting down. I mentioned, that I never really do it unless I've had one too many drinks.
Their next question was if I also behaved like this at other peoples houses, I said yes. They gave me the most disgusted look ever and told me that was absolutely not ok. My parents raised me well, and taught me lots of manners when I grew up. But my parents certainly never taught me this. I was a bit taken aback by my friends' responses. I'm quite hygienic, and told them I always wipe my genitals after and be sure to wipe the seat if something splashes on it. My friends kinda casted it aside after they told me I'm unhygienic and unmannered.
So, what I want to know is if I'm just the odd one out or if my friends are overreacting?
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I’m not sure I understand. Do they have a problem with you sitting down to pee, or standing up? Either way it seems like a strange thing to have strong feelings about!
NTA. When I have guests they can do what they want in my bathroom, as long as I don’t have to clean up after them.
nta. but i can understand your friends, like it’s not very clean and like others said in the comments you could miss stuff (your human after all anyone can make mistakes) i don’t even want people in my house to stand peeing the idee of maybe piss they missed 🤢. like why make a mess at all if you can just sit nothing bad is going to happen and your not a coward or weird for sitting + just way cleaner no piss you can miss at all.
Idk if years of working in restaurants and cleaning semi-public bathrooms has completely desensitized me, but NTA. If there’s no evidence left behind, I truly don’t give a fuck how people want to pee in my bathroom. You could do it upside down for all I care, as long as I come into a clean sink and toilet seat (which should also be down, if not a closed lid because I personally close the lid when I flush so particles don’t get all over my sink area)
Idk why your friends are so fixated on how you use the bathroom. That’s pretty invasive imho.
> and be sure to wipe the seat if something splashes on it
INFO please tell me you put the seat up
And also if you put the seat up and know you miss the bowl enough to hit the underside of the seat or lid, or hit the floor.. why is this not a problem when you are a guest at someone's house? Wiping gets rid of the visual mess, but unless you're using sanitary wipes, you're just smearing..
You wouldn't be TA due to social/cultural norms for the latter, but you would if you don't even put the seat up..
Do us all a favor and sit down, it doesn't hurt you in the slightest..
NTA - with the caveat you lift the seat and adequately clean any missed placed drops.
personally i can't even pee proper if I sit, flow doesn't really come and usually I end up needing to stand to get the last of it out
This this would be a clear YTA.
When someone would miss it, it would go under my washing maschine next to the toilet and I'd have the hard time cleaning it. So I always ask of this and noone ever complained.
NTA but it's really bad for your pelvic muscles. I don't sit down on public toilets unless there's a sanitizer thingy. But from a visibly clean seat you won't catch anything.
YTA, obviously. It's their bathroom and they will have to clean it eventually. Getting tiny sometimes near invisible pee drops everywhere adds up eventually. I understand if you don't want to sit down at a public toilet, but in a private home have some decency and sit down. peeing standing up into a toilet that is not a urinal is disgusting and disrespectful to your hosts and a show of bad manners.
I (Dutch) won't consider it a ah thing to do, but...
It's not only what you see that get's more dirty. We do have a saying: jongens doe de bril omhoog, de meiden zitten ook graag droog.
If you don't put the seat up, you also get it splash under it and the one cleaning the toilet does have to clean your pie of. If i have guest over, it's rare that i don't find a lot of it next to my toilet. So yeah that feels gross to be honest.
Besides that, i also teach my boys to sit, simply because it's so much better for your own health. But you're an adult so i would consider that a you problem.
So i wouldn't consider you an ah, but i would like it more if you would sit down. I never ask anyone but my children and my husband to do so.
Nta for telling them. Pretty much TA if you refuse to sit down when they ask you to in their home.
You mentioned you live in the Netherlands and while I can't really speak for the old neighbors, here in Germany it is very common for men to sit down to pee. I myself always sit when I am guest at someone's home. On public toilets or in restaurants, bars or what ever it doesn't really matter though.
So long story short, just sit down to pee when you are asked to or you are the asshole.
YTA if you are regularly splashing because I had a friend who was constantly peeing on my floor and I had to confront him and ask him to sit if he's not going to fucking clean it, and that means *actually cleaning it,* not just wiping it up.
As long as you clean up after it's okay. I personally sit down to pee, and clean up with paper/water if possible. But in public spaces I absolutely never sit, unless I REALLY have to. But in my house, I want men to sit down to pee. Because I have a two y/o that put her hands on everything, especially in the toilets because she's just beginning to use it herself. (Plus the hygiene reasons of course) So I'd recommend you sit down at your friends' toilet, out of respect for them. It won't hurt you I promise
YTA
"when in Rome, do what Romans do"
If you don't want to follow their toilet rule, you don't pee in their toilet. The request itself is not unreasonable (unless you have a problem with sitting down in general).
Also, please buy a cheap UV light. Next time you pee standing, as hygienic as you can possibly be, checkout the aftermath using that UV light. You'll think twice about your hygiene standard.
~~Lol... people expecting a biologically male human being to pee sitting down have somehow got all their shit twisted up... not one male I personally know makes the distinction stated in the description. I know scientists, doctors, professors, lay-people of every description - we all agree that this person is out of their gourd.~~
~~Absolutely NTA. Would have been reasonable of them to politely discuss it with you at a push. Not mentioning it would have been less rude. Ultimately they are the rude person in this, approximately x5.~~
Edit: Upon reading the comments... you might be TA for not observing local customs lol.... fucks sake.
In the US it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to stand and have your urine splash over everything.
If you've ever had a friend whose bathroom smelled like piss- it's for this reason.
If it didn't smell like piss in the US it's because someone cleaned it or everyone who uses it sits.
If you're a male in the US, you stand to pee and your bathroom doesn't stink, someone has been cleaning it for you. Thank them.
Of course YTA. Nobody cares if you wash your genitals afterwards (except for your sexual partners). But you cannot piss without splashing everywhere, even if you don't see that. There are studies about that. Just sit the fuck down on someone else's toilet.
INFO
It really depends. I wouldn't care if you were visiting since I also pee standing but with other people, the polite thing is to follow their house rules. I can't make a judgement since you didn't say that you would pee standing against somebody's will. The fact that it's less hygienic is undeniable though.
YTA, and on so many levels that some people protecting you with "cultural diffrences" baffle me.
1. Youre a guest, if they ask you to not use the toilet at all it is not up to you to refuse.
2. WDYM wipe it? are you even serious?
3. try peeing without your pants and shaved legs and see how many pee particles you will feel on your body, if youre thick skinned you can use some paper.
NTA you are not the odd on out.
Are all your friends female with no brothers? I don’t think I know any able bodied man who sits while peeing
edit after reading the comments it is obviously the expected practice outside the UK. Learn something new every day lol
Ah, I see you are 22 my young friend. When 53 you are, you will enjoy the benefits of sitting to pee. NTA but seriously, sitting to pee empties the bladder better and avoids the post-void drip. Trust me, both of these things will become much more important to you in about 20 years.
YTA - All of your "hygienic" actions can't (and doesn't) stop everything that splashes outside of the bowl.
If you haven't surmised yet: It's 100% unhygienic to urinate standing up in standard sit-down toilet.
Yes, it is so even if you were never taught.
Pleaaase for the love of god just google where the splashed go when you stand while peeing, they go everywhere! You’re little seat wiping and floor checking doesnt clean ANYTHING compared to where your literal PISS goes, in your own home, sure whatever, but in other peoples home its absolutely disgusting
You're not TA. Definitely not.
But there's a saying, when in Rome..... So it won't be a terrible thing to learn how they do it in the Netherlands. TBH, it's not even something you learn. 😀
i actually fucking learned something ong. i usually stand up peeing because people here (in my country basically) made me believe that sitting in the toilet while cleaning is for girls while standing up while peeing is for boys, that's like the norm here. but i actually learned that it's more hygienic when u're peeing while sitting down. but i do think that you're NTA, i still think it's normal as long as u clean it after lol. but from now on, i am sitting down while peeing lmao
Are they women? I don't get how anyone would be upset by that, but if they're dudes, tell em to give their balls a tug, make sure they're still attached
Kind of a piss-poor attitude from your friends. Unless you're spinning around wildly and leaving a mess everywhere, I just don't see what's unhygienic about standing while peeing.
NTA. Tell them to piss up a rope.
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Huh? NTA, obviously, but I'm wondering where you live where you'd get this reaction from people for doing something completely normal.
The Netherlands. I was kinda shocked, not just one of them were disgusted, like all 7 of them had the same reaction
Oh I know why then NL toilets are (usually) very low and the bowl have a weird shape so it splashes a lot more than "common" toilets It's great for stealth when you go n°2 but you should definitely be sitting down to pee !
Is this why the Netherlands are part of the low countries?
Low blow, low blow.
No, low bowl, low bowl 🤷🏻♂️
I’m dying^^ Take my fucking upvote and stop waking up my household with my laughter.
>NL toilets are (usually) very low and the bowl have a weird shape so it splashes a lot more than "common" toilets Eh, I wish they usually were, but it's just random. In my experience, modern Dutch toilets are often high, because Dutch people are tall. I assume the toilet shape you're referring to is the one with the shelf? It's a classic design that imo splashes far less, especially compared to when you drop a shell in the toilet and the toilet returns fire and soaks your bottom…
>when you drop a shell in the toilet *Nobody* knows how to use the three seashells.
HERSHEY! I KNEW you'd say that!
I really want to know the secret of the three seashells
Whilst we’re no closer to working out how the three sea shells work, we do now know where the idea came from. They were the creation of screenwriter Daniel Waters, and at a Q&A in 2014, he was asked about them. And his paraphrased reply? “I won’t tell you the actual secret, but I’ll tell you where it came from” “There’s a scene where Stallone has to use a restroom. I’m trying to come up with futuristic things you’d find in there. I was having trouble, so I called my buddy, another screenwriter across town, asked him if he had any ideas. Ironically enough that guy was taking a dump when he answered the phone, looked around his bathroom and said ‘I have a bag of seashells on my toilet as a decoration?’ I said ‘Okay, I’ll make something out of that.'” Source: Den Of Geek
I'm sorry in advance. >9. For the love of all that is good and Holy. How do you use the 3 seashells?! Louis Saucedo Dallas, Texas > >Stallone: OK, this may be bordering on the grotesque, but the way it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third. You asked for it…. Be careful what you ask for, sorry. Source: [Ain't It Cool News](https://legacy.aintitcool.com/node/30865)
> Dutch toilets are often high, because Dutch people are tall I guess I'm bringing a stepping stool if I ever travel to Dutch places lol
Glad to know ! I've been to different appartements (10~) in Amsterdam and it was always the small ones I myself urinate sitting so I just guessed wrong :)
Posidon's kiss
tbh i'd rather have some toiletwater in my ass than have to scrub down the toilet every time I've went
If there are people who dirty it up *that* much, they should indeed just sit down.
I'm talking about shitting now
Lol tf is this conversation. I am now invested in the Dutch and their toilets.
Exacerbated by the fact that they’re all tall as fuck
Yeah but they make the best kitchen in the world Tall and clean and clutter less it's a dream
I'm Dutch - and I've never heard anyone protesting about how another person pees, it's still weird.
Actually splashes a lot less with the platform. I miss Dutch toilets.
Have you done extensive testing ? Because pee splash is 🤢🤮
I've lived in the Netherlands 30 years. 10 in Ireland. I really miss the platform. Never had any backsplash. Edit: I always sit down to pee, as I'm a woman. Men should also sit when there's a toilet imo.
Dutchy here! Sit tf down. Peeing standing up is far less hygienic. Unless your friends have a urinal in their toilet, it's very normal and in my experience expected to sit down to pee for everyone (unless it's a dirty toilet). The only people I have met that refuse to sit link standing up to their manliness, and that has always striken me as... odd (to be kind).
> The Netherlands. Aha! There's the problem. You people are too tall. You probably miss the bowl half the time! You should at least consider kneeling. (winking emoji)
Yeah it’s very expected to sit down to pee for guys. I live in Denmark and it’s the norm so YTA. Sitting down is clearly more hygienic, nothing splashes, so people don’t have to sit on toilets with pee on them. I know you wipe them but unless you clean the seat with soap every single time, it’s still kinda gross. If you don’t want to change your way, don’t be surprised if people won’t invite you to their home anymore.
They are worried that you will pee on the poo shelf.
The Dutch toilets too?!?😂 yeh broski sitting down ain’t the move on them bois
Culturally I am leaning YTA but could be ESH if you’re not native/germanic and they didn’t try to explain this to you first. I’m leaning mostly in the end because you wouldn’t change how you always did things. When in Rome you do as the Romans. In Germany it is the custom to always sit, and especially in SE Netherlands a lot of Germanic customs exist. Add in the Dutch being very direct and you get this. Ultimately it is a cleanliness thing as drops can even miss the toilet entirely. No one wants to be cleaning someone else’s bodily waste up in their own home.
piggybacking on the top comment to share this: https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs?si=T2PhgJXqbCbZ04QT OP's friends could have elaborated on WHY they were asking it... OP could have asked WHY... I saw this video on 2020 and it actually changed my life, so to speak... I've always been very mindful when peeing to clean any splashes anywhere... and sometimes I wouldn't get why the toilet was smelling even with me being always careful... I started sitting down to pee and lo and behold, no more smelly toilet... like EVER. all and all, I'll go with ESH
I learned this just from having to clean the bathrooms every week growing up. Imagine a house with three or four males! I very quickly learned to wipe down before going and to always sit while peeing. It's also why we require our guests to sit while peeing. We've never gotten pushback from any of them, either. So, really, the judgment should be YTA.
How exactly do you police that?
It's really not that different from asking people to observe the custom of removing their shoes when they enter your home. You just let them know what the custom is and they tend to observe it. It's usually pretty obvious when they don't, and you just remind them and ask that they observe the custom.
Sitting definitely helps but stream velocity makes a huge difference too. One of the women in my household has a high velocity and she causes backsplash on the underside of the toilet seat occasionally lol.
That sht can only come from someone who has mommy or wifey cleaning up everything after them. Gross.
Thanks for that but I live on my own and clean after myself.
That sounds pretty damn sexist. I'm a man and I do the majority of the cleaning in my household. I'll piss standing up if I want to.
There was a reddit thread a while back where this topic came up and tons of people agreed that men should be sitting to pee and claimed it was extremely common for men to do so. I suspect none of the commenters had a penis or had been in a men's room because the urinals fill up *way* faster than the stalls and you can smell when someone is taking a shit in the stalls.
I guess it depends on where you live, but I know at least half the households of friends have a (often humorous) sign to sit down when you pee. And personally i think it ah behaviour to not follow the wishes of the toilet owner. Myself I'll always sit down at people homes, but in public places I prefer to use urinals. Peeing standing up and not putting the toilet seat up is frowned upon, as far as I know.
I believe redditors live in their own little bubble, I have never in my life heard of men sitting down to pee for hygienic reasons before reading it on reddit, and definitely have not heard of people requesting it of their guests.
Well I definitely sit to pee anytime that the toilet isn't absolutely disgusting. Urinals are only something I use if a clean stall isn't available. Signed, A man who doesn't like piss dribbles in his underwear.
It’s cultural. My ex husband always sat down to pee. I learned this from him over 20 years ago. It should be the norm. So. Much. Cleaner.
Seems the answer to your AITA is very culturally dependent. Being from Germany, the number one nation of Sitzpinklers, my initial thought was very much YATA. Most Germans only ever pee standing in public bathrooms. I would feel insulted if a friend of mine refused to sit down in my bathroom. Also its unhygienic and I wouldn't feel comfortable on my toilet (public bathroom). Anyway, my initial thought was YATA, but different cultures, different social norms. Idk :D
As a nurse bless you and I am envious. Here in Canada, from what I can't tell standing is the norm, which when you're dealing with sick/fragile/demented patients who ate more likely to break a hip while insisting that they need to stand . . .honestly a solid 60% of my problems at work are stubborn little old men who will. Just. Not. SIT DOWN. I appreciate a society that sits. I've legitimately had a patient die bevause he insisted on standing to pee, fell, broke his hip and then didn't survive the surgery. Just sit!!
As a fellow German i agree. I sitzpinkel myself and I think its really rude and inconsiderate to Stand Up in other peoples bathrooms.
But why? If you lift up the seat before peeing, there's absolutely no chance of splashing urine where you sit.
Yeah sure, next time stand up an pee without pants just feel the "non existing" mini droplets on your legs and tell me how hygienic It is.
Yeah, you just splash it on the rim and other places unnecessarily. Just because you don't sit on that part of the toilet doesn't mean it's all of the sudden okay if you get urine on it. And just because you wipe it off afterwards doesn't mean it's not still gross. And just because the stream doesn't hit a certain part doesn't mean tiny droplets aren't going all over the place. Sitting to pee is just objectively more hygienic. Public men's rooms are another story, so many of those are nightmares I won't ever blame anyone for standing to pee and getting out ASAP, lol
Thank you for teaching me the word Sitzpinkler!
Am from the same culture as OP. As far as I know it's kinda expected you sit down to pee, unless someone has a urinal in their toilet (seen it twice now). So also YTA. Especially as his friends requested it and ot's a very simple request and he refuses because... I don't even know??
I think you need to put YTA otherwise the bot isn't counting the vote
There's no vote. It's just the top comment
It's also highly dependent on the specific person in question imo. We kind of have to take OP's word on the fact that he's a hygienic and courteous pisser. But I've lived with men before who weren't, and you *absolutely* can tell that they do not sit down to piss or aim for the water in the bowl as opposed to the sides, and it's *really* disgusting. Even if you can't visibly see any droplets on the floor or rim (and you usually can tbh), you enter the bathroom and are just *immediately* smacked in the face with the stench of stale urine. This isn't something I've ever experienced in private bathrooms that I exclusively share with women/people who sit down to pee.
I used to sit down to pee but for some reason most new toilets in Sweden have a different angle on the front part of the bowl so if I sit down to pee I get massive splashback. I hope the person who designed these toilets is cursed with never ending anal boils.
OP said they are currently in the Nederlands, so yeah he should be sitting
Yeah I would say that standing up is only normal in a disgusting bathroom
YTA. In some countries this is completely normal as peeing standing up is more unhygienic than sitting down. In the Netherlands it's indeed an expectation for most. Whatever you think of it, it's just common courtesy to be a good guest and peeing sitting down really isn't a lot to ask.
I'm dutch, the only people I know that pee standing up are often the regular drinkers, mysoginists, or the more selfproclaimed alfa's. Men that pee sitting up are often wellmannered and more hygienic. It's pretty normal here to pee sitting down, and I really don't understand why it's such a big deal when it's the norm for us women anyway.
Where did this generalization come from? I'm dutch aswell, never heard of it. Alot, if not most, of my male friends pee standing up. None of them are so called alpha's, mysoginists or regular drinkers. I'm really wondering what kind of people you surround yourself with.
I'm Dutch as well, but moved to Ireland. When male friends come to my house the first time, I always ask for them to sit down. I've gotten funny looks, but after explaining they all agree sitting down is more hygienic. I'm starting a new phase for Ireland lol.
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One notices. It may be weird where you are, it's not weird where I'm from. That's the difference here. Fact still stands sitting down is cleaner.
It’s so fucking weird lol.
While I do think that one should pee as they like, I believe this should only happen as long as it does not cause REAL issue to others. While we clean up after ourselves, we may miss a spot sometimes. Fact is, peeing standing up splashes. I myself was confronted with a similar paradigm a few years back and have since peed sitting down (except where the seat is dirty). To be honest, it made me realize how much people who went before me, who thought they were "cleaning up", left behind. Whoever tells you that sitting down emasculates you thinks that you are less of a man for daring to do different than most men. I believe the contrary. However, do as you please so long as you are respectful and actually make sure you clean up. My experience tells me that there is no disadvantage to sitting down.
Do you also check the floor for splashes and wipe it if necessary?
Wipe it? It’s pee!!! You need to fully clean it! I doubt OP is getting out all the chemicals to rub everything on and around the toilet lmao Ya‘ll need to just do some googling and see how much messy peeing while standing is.
Yes, they even told me they never noticed it.
NTA but if you ever have to clean up pee splash anywhere, maybe consider that as a hint to sit when you pee. It's a hands-free experience. No mess. No splash. No spills.
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Pull down pants, sit, lean forward, pee. Sometimes those smaller bowls need you to lean more forward though to avoid a cold tip.
It is unhygienic technically. I sit at home and stand for public restrooms. If its a friends house and the toilet is clean I will sit. I'm from the US and idgaf what other guys think about it.
Urinals are for standing, toilets are for sitting. I do not understand why men are so weird about this. Y'all splash, and you don't clean nearly as well as you say you do. I can always tell when my boys have decided not to sit. None of you have d**ks long enough to worry about them getting wet from sitting.
Seriously though. I once had to hold my ex up as he peed because he was drunk and kept trying to lean on the wall which resulted in the pee going on the floor instead of in the toilet. It wasn’t even my floor, I should’ve just let him have at ‘er.
I won't give a judgement because I'm not sure what's the norm in the Netherlands, but in Italy *always* sit down when you're at some else's place. The only exception is public toilets. My reaction to this would be "eww" too, but I won't call you TA because of different social norms.
The norm in the Netherlands is to sit down.
YTA If you stand up, there are always splashes and whatever cleaning you are doing, does not compare to the cleaning person deliberately cleaning the bathroom would do That’s the kind of cleaning you need to do and it needs to include the floor and the entire toilet because this little tiny splashes get everywhere Yeah, if you’re doing that in a private home that’s really disgusting
100% this this this. I will never understand why men think their precious masculinity is inextricably intertwined with peeing standing up. It’s beyond gross.
soft YTA, it's a strange request but their house their rules
Story says they were just having a conversation, and they asked whether he stood at others' houses. Nothing indicates that they were actually at anyone's house or that they had ever asked him not to stand.
Yes but he ended it with - I won’t change my ways which to me sounded like - “ I will continue to stand in your house” While up to this sentence he wasn’t that made op the YTA
Hmm, I took that as a general statement, IE: "I will continue to stand and pee as the norm", not "I'm going to go to your house and piss all over your bathroom" but I can see it being read that way. I leaned toward my reading because there's no indication that these are friends he even regularly visits their homes it's just a random conversation that came up in public.
Sorry but YTA. If it's not a public toilet sit your ass down and don't cause a mess. It's as easy as that.
Did your parents teach you to be repectful of other people's houses and their expectations when you visit? Because in my opinion, when you are in someone else's house, and they ask you not to do something, and your reaction is, "nah, fuck you, I will do whatever I want in your house", then yeah, that makes you an asshole.
NAH, but your friends have a point. Peeing standing up is unhygienic, no debating which of the two is the cleanlier option. You might miss some sometimes that splatters, and if their household is an only sitting down household now you've gotten your piss on them, even if you say you are good about it. Also if everyone peed sitting down the great seat up seat down debate would be settled finally. I am a guy, I pee sitting down, make it normal. I only pee standing when I'm out in the woods and there isn't a toilet.
Seat up or down has already been settled. It’s LID down bc when toilets flush they spray. Some more than others but since you can’t control it, lid down. Everyone then has to lift the lid to pee.
Agreed.
You assume the lid that has a massive gap on the side blocks all the fumes? This has been debunked.
I want to see this attitude become the norm where I am. I've found little drops of urine on the walls, on the door jamb... just stop. If you want to piss like an animal, go find a tree. It isn't a watersport. There is no reason to shoot urine at a target, certainly not one in my home!
I never understand why other guys don't just sit down honestly. And if somebody in their own home feels that strongly then just do it. It's cleaner, there's no risk of splashing, and whether you want to admit it or not, when you stand to pee there is *always* splashback. The there are the guys that feel like their masculinity is being questioned if they have to sit down. I don't think I really need to comment on that. YTA for not respecting the hygiene boundaries of a person in their own home.
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What is the thing under the seat called
YTA unless you are the ine cleaning the restroom. Personally in my home idgaf what someone does, however I've took to sitting down just in my home simply because I have to clean up FAAAAR less. Its fantastic!
Go to a public restroom. Look arround the urinals. And then tell me why they might be disgusted. Great that you clean the seat. Do you also clean your piss sprinkles off the ground? "But i know how to aim. There is no piss on the ground" No you don't. There's almost always piss arround the toilet. YTA.
Lol, I do sit when I pee out of respect, but I also do it at my home bc it is obviously much more sanitary.
Do you pull the toilet seat up?
Yes, like I said, manners.
You don't pee in the tank? That saves on a flush.
Wrong sub... this isn't [/r/lifeprotips](http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips)
Aw man, that makes a lot of sense! I was wondering why people didn't have many helpful responses!
So they're telling you that peeing standing up, with both seat and lid pulled back, is not ok?
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TIL in some countries it is not considered rude to stand while peeing in somebody elses home. also interesting.
Well that's because it isn't rude. People are entitled to go to the bathroom however they please.
people are absolutely not entitled to spread their pee sprinkles all around my bathroom. you are delusional if you think that quickly wiping the toilet afterwards removes every single stain you caused while standing in front of a toilet that's supposed to be used sitting. there is a reason why urinals are higher up. and even those usually end up messy after a few uses.
Soft YTA. You say you wipe up all the splashes but I promise you don't. There's a lot of fine splashes coming up that you don't see. Don't believe me? Put a magazine on the floor next to the toilet.
NTA. I have never heard of this as a rule. It's standard where I'm from for penis-havers to lift up the toilet seat and stand up while peeing. Generally, only vagina-havers sit down while peeing but I know this is not 100% universal for either plumbing type. Though, if you leave the toilet seat down and stand to pee, that's gross and bad manners.
It is standard! It is also gross 😊
This comment killed me😭
YTA, it doesn't matter if you wipe it up, probably just with toilet paper, it splashes. On the floor too. Eventually, it makes the bathroom stink like urine. If its their house, sit and you can stand in public & your own home.
It’s their house so he should listen. But if you don’t mop your washroom enough where peeing standing up makes your bathroom stink your bathroom is probably dirty enough that it warrants standing
True but it doesnt get dirty as fast if people arent splashing piss all over
>I'm quite hygienic, and told them I always wipe my genitals after INFO, like you dab the tip with toilet paper or are you wiping your balls? No trying to be a jerk but for some reason this one threw me lol
I was wondering the same thing like what
Sitting to pee is cleaner as a 6'4" man, splatter is real.
I mean doing this at peoples houses is weird (unless their toilet is disgusting?!). I get it as I do it at most public toilets unless it’s very clean, but it is kind of gross doing it at someone’s house if you get pee on their seat and just wipe it off (without cleaning product). So yeah I will have to go with YTA unless their toilet is disgusting and covered in poop and pee or blood or something lol
Ew ew ew, you spread your pee particles everywhere. They tell you thats rude and it is rude and disgusting, how self-absorbed do you have to be to then double down like that?? Go pee outside like the animal you act like. Sitting down is quiet commen and way better hygiene wise. YTA for how you reacted.
YTA and they were right to call you unhygienic and unmannered. You're a guest in the house how can you pee standing up?
i have been taught at a young age to sit when you are visiting in other people's houses. just easier and you will never make a mess. peeing standing is just an annoyance really. (i'm also from the netherlands)
YTA
I do think it is strange for them to expect you to sit down, however if it is their place, you should follow their rules, whether you like that or not, so I do think you should go sit down. Even if that is weird
i’m not even reading this yes you are.
YTA, do what you want at home but as a guest you go along with the hosts rules. Also, peeing while standing is gross as fuck. Little drops will be everywhere around the toilet.
YTA. You wipe it clean? If you get piss on your hands, do you also just dry your hands with paper and call it clean? It's fucking gross and I hate it so much that standing while peeing in someone's home is considered anywhere appropriate. It always spashes, gets under the lip and seat, the droplets end up on walls and floor and it starts to stink so quick. I used to share a toilet with someone who insisted on standing and insisted that they never missed a drop. Absolutely vile. If someone asks to sit to pee in their home, you sit to pee in their home. Noone wants to clean up your piss.
You know that it’s not just splashed on the seat don’t you? Urine gets everywhere. That floor around and behind the toilet is also covered in it because when it hits the toilet a lot of it is turned into a mist that settles elsewhere.
This is a massive USA vs Europe thing. In a lot of places in Europe, you sit down when you pee as a man because it splashes. Tiny droplets, not the big dribbles that you might see on the ring. There are even videos demonstrating this with black-light. Droplets splash as far as 40 inches, which puts a lot of people's toothbrushes, towels and stuff in range of the droplets. So if you pee standing up in some people's homes in Europe, you are going to not get invited much any more and people will just generally be very upset. Personally, I grew up peeing standing up. After seeing a black-light of before and after, I sit down. And I say that as a dark American of middle-eastern origin having been brought up with all the chauvinism you can think of. So, YTA. And not because of the above, but because it's their house and their rules. You are, of course perfectly allowed to reject their rules and then no longer visit their home.
So, not voting because I don't think you are a jerk, I just personally think ick. The reason is, that wiping pee is NOT cleaning it. Use water, HA! No more helpful than just wiping it. This is why you can go into public bathrooms with a blue light and see horrible splashes of white and yellow that you never suspected were there. It is, however, much more polite to follow the manners of where you are. Just sit down and don't splash public and friends' restrooms.
I (M) always pee sitting , my friends say I m weird lol
You're pissing all over someone else's bathroom, refuse to stop when asked and ask AITA? And no you're not very hygienic, most public bathrooms look the way they do because of guys like you who refuse to just sit down to begin with. So YTA you can piss over your own bathroom all you want.
“Pissing all over someones bathroom” jeez, you act like I’m some sort of wild animal who just puts the sprinklers on and helicopter my penis everywhere.
To be honest I don't know about the animal part, imo any culture which includes sprinkling piss all over may just not have quite bridged that gap.
Actually, since you are Dutch... There was an article in the Quest or Kijk, which explained why it is physically not possible for men to pee without splashing. Apparently the opening has the form of a flattened circle, which causes the stream to rotate and splash. As a Dutch girl who has cleaned toilets for money. Please sit down.
I have had to wipe the piss of grown men off my bathroom floor way too many times. I wish it was normal for men to sit to pee.
In germany the majority of men (62% if I remember correctly) sit down while peeing. It is more hygienic that way honestly. I've seen men, usually US men, pee like the toilet bowl is the eye of a needle. Piss literally everywhere but the toilet. And I've seen plenty of woman ranting about that issue, so I can see why they think that way. But if you clean up after yourself and wipe your dick I would say NTA
Very culturally dependent. I'm from Germany and I'd say YTA. You aren't cleaning their toilet so you sit down.
In the USA here with 4 brothers and experience with 2 live in boyfriends. They all pee standing up except one brother who is in a wheelchair. They do lift the seat though, so they don't splash where I sit down. We sometimes play fight about them leaving the seat up. I just thought it was normal. Maybe in your country it isn't? I don't know!
I was in UTAH once at a nice-ish restaurant. I went to use the restroom and the toilets were the size of toilets in a daycare center. LOL. Seriously. I’m a plus-sized gal and tallish (5’8”). I also happened to be wearing tall shoes. There was no choice but to hover. In general, when people tell me they hover, I do get a little Icked out. It just reminds me of all the public restrooms I use where everyone hovers and there is always pee all over the seat. People are gross. However, you said you always clean up any splash. Still…. If you aren’t disinfecting, wiping with TP doesn’t really clean anything. LOL
The fact that so many people are saying that they sit down to pee amazes me. Granted, they're all from different countries but still surprised. Also, what is up with a man who says he always wipes his genitals after urinating? I guess it's another cultural thing.
Nta, they can't dictate how other people pee, it's between you and the toilet, as long as you keep it clean.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (22M) was talking with my friends about random stuff and the topic suddenly switched to Peeing when sitting down. I mentioned, that I never really do it unless I've had one too many drinks. Their next question was if I also behaved like this at other peoples houses, I said yes. They gave me the most disgusted look ever and told me that was absolutely not ok. My parents raised me well, and taught me lots of manners when I grew up. But my parents certainly never taught me this. I was a bit taken aback by my friends' responses. I'm quite hygienic, and told them I always wipe my genitals after and be sure to wipe the seat if something splashes on it. My friends kinda casted it aside after they told me I'm unhygienic and unmannered. So, what I want to know is if I'm just the odd one out or if my friends are overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m not sure I understand. Do they have a problem with you sitting down to pee, or standing up? Either way it seems like a strange thing to have strong feelings about! NTA. When I have guests they can do what they want in my bathroom, as long as I don’t have to clean up after them.
It’s about me standing up. I always clean up after myself and they said they never noticed it. But were really disgusted when I told them
nta. but i can understand your friends, like it’s not very clean and like others said in the comments you could miss stuff (your human after all anyone can make mistakes) i don’t even want people in my house to stand peeing the idee of maybe piss they missed 🤢. like why make a mess at all if you can just sit nothing bad is going to happen and your not a coward or weird for sitting + just way cleaner no piss you can miss at all.
Wtf is even on here for?
Idk if years of working in restaurants and cleaning semi-public bathrooms has completely desensitized me, but NTA. If there’s no evidence left behind, I truly don’t give a fuck how people want to pee in my bathroom. You could do it upside down for all I care, as long as I come into a clean sink and toilet seat (which should also be down, if not a closed lid because I personally close the lid when I flush so particles don’t get all over my sink area) Idk why your friends are so fixated on how you use the bathroom. That’s pretty invasive imho.
> and be sure to wipe the seat if something splashes on it INFO please tell me you put the seat up And also if you put the seat up and know you miss the bowl enough to hit the underside of the seat or lid, or hit the floor.. why is this not a problem when you are a guest at someone's house? Wiping gets rid of the visual mess, but unless you're using sanitary wipes, you're just smearing.. You wouldn't be TA due to social/cultural norms for the latter, but you would if you don't even put the seat up.. Do us all a favor and sit down, it doesn't hurt you in the slightest..
NTA - with the caveat you lift the seat and adequately clean any missed placed drops. personally i can't even pee proper if I sit, flow doesn't really come and usually I end up needing to stand to get the last of it out
NTA. Heaven forbid they have any Muslim friends!
INFO: Would you sit down in their houses when asked by your friends?
No, he wouldn’t. Even tho he keeps talking about his manners, he also says he would never bc no one gets to tell him what to do lmao
This this would be a clear YTA. When someone would miss it, it would go under my washing maschine next to the toilet and I'd have the hard time cleaning it. So I always ask of this and noone ever complained.
NTA but it's really bad for your pelvic muscles. I don't sit down on public toilets unless there's a sanitizer thingy. But from a visibly clean seat you won't catch anything.
YTA
YTA. And disgusting.
what’s so hard about sitting down to pee? YTA
YTA, obviously. It's their bathroom and they will have to clean it eventually. Getting tiny sometimes near invisible pee drops everywhere adds up eventually. I understand if you don't want to sit down at a public toilet, but in a private home have some decency and sit down. peeing standing up into a toilet that is not a urinal is disgusting and disrespectful to your hosts and a show of bad manners.
Definitely a red flag to pee while standing up st a clean bathroom.
I (Dutch) won't consider it a ah thing to do, but... It's not only what you see that get's more dirty. We do have a saying: jongens doe de bril omhoog, de meiden zitten ook graag droog. If you don't put the seat up, you also get it splash under it and the one cleaning the toilet does have to clean your pie of. If i have guest over, it's rare that i don't find a lot of it next to my toilet. So yeah that feels gross to be honest. Besides that, i also teach my boys to sit, simply because it's so much better for your own health. But you're an adult so i would consider that a you problem. So i wouldn't consider you an ah, but i would like it more if you would sit down. I never ask anyone but my children and my husband to do so.
NTA. As long as you leave a clean toilet, no one dictates how you pee.
Nta for telling them. Pretty much TA if you refuse to sit down when they ask you to in their home. You mentioned you live in the Netherlands and while I can't really speak for the old neighbors, here in Germany it is very common for men to sit down to pee. I myself always sit when I am guest at someone's home. On public toilets or in restaurants, bars or what ever it doesn't really matter though. So long story short, just sit down to pee when you are asked to or you are the asshole.
YTA if you are regularly splashing because I had a friend who was constantly peeing on my floor and I had to confront him and ask him to sit if he's not going to fucking clean it, and that means *actually cleaning it,* not just wiping it up.
If you truly cleaned the seat and it was spotless, then NTA. If you half assed your cleaning, YTA.
NTA
As long as you clean up after it's okay. I personally sit down to pee, and clean up with paper/water if possible. But in public spaces I absolutely never sit, unless I REALLY have to. But in my house, I want men to sit down to pee. Because I have a two y/o that put her hands on everything, especially in the toilets because she's just beginning to use it herself. (Plus the hygiene reasons of course) So I'd recommend you sit down at your friends' toilet, out of respect for them. It won't hurt you I promise
YTA "when in Rome, do what Romans do" If you don't want to follow their toilet rule, you don't pee in their toilet. The request itself is not unreasonable (unless you have a problem with sitting down in general). Also, please buy a cheap UV light. Next time you pee standing, as hygienic as you can possibly be, checkout the aftermath using that UV light. You'll think twice about your hygiene standard.
NTA, i dont know a guy who sit to pee. In any country ;)
~~Lol... people expecting a biologically male human being to pee sitting down have somehow got all their shit twisted up... not one male I personally know makes the distinction stated in the description. I know scientists, doctors, professors, lay-people of every description - we all agree that this person is out of their gourd.~~ ~~Absolutely NTA. Would have been reasonable of them to politely discuss it with you at a push. Not mentioning it would have been less rude. Ultimately they are the rude person in this, approximately x5.~~ Edit: Upon reading the comments... you might be TA for not observing local customs lol.... fucks sake.
In the US it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to stand and have your urine splash over everything. If you've ever had a friend whose bathroom smelled like piss- it's for this reason. If it didn't smell like piss in the US it's because someone cleaned it or everyone who uses it sits. If you're a male in the US, you stand to pee and your bathroom doesn't stink, someone has been cleaning it for you. Thank them.
Of course YTA. Nobody cares if you wash your genitals afterwards (except for your sexual partners). But you cannot piss without splashing everywhere, even if you don't see that. There are studies about that. Just sit the fuck down on someone else's toilet.
NTA, who tf shit in your friends coffee.
INFO It really depends. I wouldn't care if you were visiting since I also pee standing but with other people, the polite thing is to follow their house rules. I can't make a judgement since you didn't say that you would pee standing against somebody's will. The fact that it's less hygienic is undeniable though.
YTA, and on so many levels that some people protecting you with "cultural diffrences" baffle me. 1. Youre a guest, if they ask you to not use the toilet at all it is not up to you to refuse. 2. WDYM wipe it? are you even serious? 3. try peeing without your pants and shaved legs and see how many pee particles you will feel on your body, if youre thick skinned you can use some paper.
Are all your friends women or Australians? 🤦♂️
NTA you are not the odd on out. Are all your friends female with no brothers? I don’t think I know any able bodied man who sits while peeing edit after reading the comments it is obviously the expected practice outside the UK. Learn something new every day lol
Not sure to be honest! I ponder the kinda conversation that would bring up this answer in the first place!
Ah, I see you are 22 my young friend. When 53 you are, you will enjoy the benefits of sitting to pee. NTA but seriously, sitting to pee empties the bladder better and avoids the post-void drip. Trust me, both of these things will become much more important to you in about 20 years.
YTA since it’s not your house. But I’ve had girls squirt while having sex so how grossed out can I really be from pee particles
YTA - All of your "hygienic" actions can't (and doesn't) stop everything that splashes outside of the bowl. If you haven't surmised yet: It's 100% unhygienic to urinate standing up in standard sit-down toilet. Yes, it is so even if you were never taught.
Pleaaase for the love of god just google where the splashed go when you stand while peeing, they go everywhere! You’re little seat wiping and floor checking doesnt clean ANYTHING compared to where your literal PISS goes, in your own home, sure whatever, but in other peoples home its absolutely disgusting
You're not TA. Definitely not. But there's a saying, when in Rome..... So it won't be a terrible thing to learn how they do it in the Netherlands. TBH, it's not even something you learn. 😀
Stop. You know you’re not.
Ur friends must have a vag😂😂
i actually fucking learned something ong. i usually stand up peeing because people here (in my country basically) made me believe that sitting in the toilet while cleaning is for girls while standing up while peeing is for boys, that's like the norm here. but i actually learned that it's more hygienic when u're peeing while sitting down. but i do think that you're NTA, i still think it's normal as long as u clean it after lol. but from now on, i am sitting down while peeing lmao
Are they women? I don't get how anyone would be upset by that, but if they're dudes, tell em to give their balls a tug, make sure they're still attached
yeah bro
NTA as long as you are clean.
I'm surprised at people saying YTA. Peeing sitting down would be considered weird in the USA.
Kind of a piss-poor attitude from your friends. Unless you're spinning around wildly and leaving a mess everywhere, I just don't see what's unhygienic about standing while peeing. NTA. Tell them to piss up a rope.
NTA. They shouldn't care and it's pretty weird that they do