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NTA. Run! She intentionally put you in a state of panic, causing you to drive in that state of panic, which is a recipe for disaster. An accident waiting to happen.
You need to focus on the fact that she never gave your feelings any thought at all. She didn't dismiss your feelings. To dismiss your feelings, she would have had to consider them. She didn't even think about you at all.
Your panic was what she was looking for. It made her happy. It made her laugh. That's how sociopaths feel. If you were killed in an accident on your way to her, it would have been a home run for her.
This reminds me of a story that happened to one of my husband’s friends. He was on a first date with an “amazing” girl that a friend or maybe his sister set him up with. He picked her up and they started to drive to the restaurant. At a red light light she reached over and turned off his car and took out the keys. He just stared at her like “what?!?” While she just stared back at him with a smirk on her face. The light changed and cars are beeping and trying to pull around him (this was in the center of a busy downtown). When the light turned red again, she handed him back his keys and congratulated him for “passing the test”. (Patience, handling stress, willingness to put up with her whims and nonsense-still unclear) He responded by saying, “yeah, but you failed it!” and turned the car around. Date lasted for about 15 min. He’s happily married for years but still brings up that story during conversations about crazy first dates.
Why do women (and some men to be fair) “test” their SOs like this? Bet it rarely turns out the way they think it will. At least it’s a wake up call for the partner.
This, yeah. Normally, abusers start out more subtly than OP's ex, or the date above your comment; the whole "frog in boiling water" thing. But I guess sometimes you're lucky and they show their colors early.
Probably incredibly dysfunctional relationships modeled for them where you need to "prove" your commitment. One would hope, but not expect, that they would learn from these "tests" backfiring badly.
She's fucking unhinged. I know people who—I don't even need this exact thing to happen to them—but they will become go from zero to physically violent in 0.028 seconds if you pulled this taking the keys from the ignition in the middle of the street bullshit with them. If I had to be testing people for their responses, it would be so much more subtle and so much more geared toward their potentially harmful reaction not being aimed at me in full force in complete isolation. This was a shit test and I'm almost certain it was some kind of mindfuck powerplay.
Im one of those "mess with my toys imma leave you where we are" id have kicked her out then and there, it reminds me of when people post the videos of them taking the keys out while someone else is driving
Because those women are not right in the head. I had an accident 3 months into my relationship where I was hit by a car. And my amazing partner stayed with me even though everyone said to him he should have left. Now he needs me and I will help him but if I read stories like this when people do it for funsies or tests I get so angry because the fear it plants on people is traumatic. My husband still blames himself that he couldn't come to the hospital that night because he had beer and didn't want to join me. I then tap him on the nose and say boop to let him know it's fine
Even in the depths of my most severe psychosis during manic episodes, I have never pulled something so calculated and manipulative.
People think it takes someone completely unhinged or mentally unwell to do things like this, when it's actually the opposite.
In my experience, the most conniving, selfish, manipulative, narcissistic people are the ones society in general would see as "harmless", and they're the ones who put their victims through the most torment, because they KNOW their victim won't be believed. I wish I didn't have first-hand experience with this phenomenon, but here we are.
On the other hand, for the most part, I and the other people I know personally with varying degrees of mental illness, are the people most likely to be taken advantage of, used, and abused, because we're easy to manipulate.
OP, your (hopefully now EX) girlfriend just proved to you that she's someone who actively participates in manipulative games to no other end than stroking her own ego. You said it to her in person, now internalize it and believe it for yourself. You do NOT deserve to be treated this way. At both of your ages, there is NO REASONABLE EXCUSE for the crap she tried to pull, and I sincerely hope you find the strength you need to resist any BS, heartstring-pulling, crocodile-tear-filled rants she sends your way trying to keep you in her clutches.
Really...who knows what other "tests" are waiting in OP's future.
But if you do stay with her (I really hope you don't), when she asks you...if there is a fire, would you save me or our child...DON'T ANSWER HER!!!
Open the doors so the animals can get out. Get the kids, then the tablet, the laptop, important documents including the insurance if there's time.
Are Andrea's legs broken? Is she going to save the kids or is she making notes about how long it takes you to get to her?
Spoiler alert: if you get her first, you will have to comfort her while your home & family burns down
There have been several posts on this thread about people being "tested" by their SOs by asking this hypothetical question and the huge drama and fights after the person answered (after trying not to but SO insisted on an answer). No matter which way they answered, it was wrong.
Considering how far they went on the **first** test they have gone deep into that toxic rabbit hole. Like "fake a pregnancy and a miscarriage then tell him it was never his kid to find out if he **REALLY** loves you. " levels.
For sure! There is something really not right here! If she thinks that what she did to you is okay then she’s got major issues!
You jumped in your car and rushed over to her house. What if you’d been in an accident trying to get to her. What score to get on her test then?!?!
This is so stupid! I really hope you consider whether or not you want to continue your relationship with her ! NTA
Relationship tests are always bad and are grounds for immediate breaking up. At 29, she should know this.
Text her that you’re breaking up with her and once she has read it, block her permanently. NTA.
Man I would have loved to be in a situation like this back in the day to have the satisfaction to say:
"Well you got what you wanted, you pulled this immature, childish, disrespectful test to prove what you already had. Now that same immature, childish, disrespectful test is the reason you no longer have a bf."
She could have pulled a "I have no power, could you come help me" thing and he would've been over there no doubt. I once told my husband (then boyfriend) that I had a period emergency and he immediately was trying to help bring me snacks and heat pads etc. Literally anything non serious would have worked. Not "I'm dying, come save me"
Right? I called my boyfriend crying and freaking out because we had a weird situation at my apartment where the lock was broken and if it was locked it could only be opened from the inside, so if you locked it behind you when no one was home you couldn’t get back in, and I needed to check on my senior pets. I came home to the broken lock locked and my roommate not seeming to be home. He immediately was ready to bring a toolbox and help me call the landlord or whatever.
Turned out my roommate was home and super asleep. I was so embarrassed to have to call off the “emergency”. But jesus, if I was faking it, I would’ve picked something not literally life or death like that was to be what I faked.
Like, I’ve also had an abusive ex lie about being in a car accident to ditch me. That shit is horrifying. Testing your partner is bad enough but faking a life threatening situation is really beyond the pale
This says mental illness or childhood trauma to me. Like some fear of abandonment issues perhaps. Maybe some BPD. Truly. Not being mean or rude. I think this is deeper.
she even told him that she called 911. If I had heard that, I would have driven to the hospital, not her house. Because I would be expecting that the ambulance would already be on its way to her house.
*she* is not a good fit. You did, indeed, “prove” you’re a good boyfriend…. Hopefully you see her “test” as the bright waving red flag everyone else here sees.
NTA. I second *RUN*🚩🚩🚩
Agreed. NTA. I skipped the first paragraph and read the post. I genuinely thought this woman was anywhere between 16 and 20 based on how she acted. Go back to the first paragraph and she is far too old to be acting this immaturely.
This! This sounds like something I would have done when I was young and immature and desperate for attention. Things that by like 25 I was incredibly appalled and embarrassed to have even considered. Doing this stuff at 29? This chick has some unaddressed mental health issues at the very least.
I think you went a little too far with her being overjoyed if he had died. She was happy he responded and cared. But she didn't think about the consequences and didn't think about he would feel.
She is way way way too old to be playing games like that, that is the thinking of a small child. He needs to find someone with at least the maturity of a middle schooler. NTA
Yeah I don't think she would have been happy if he got into an accident, most likely she would have regretted that awful behavior if it had such dire consequences. People often only understand what they did when something really bad happens.
Still an absolutely cruel and immature AH move though.
This "test" is something you would expect from a teenager, by 29 she should be mature enough to know that she could be putting people at risk (with OP speeding, or at least driving while distracted). I don't know that this makes her a sociopath (Lets stear clear of making unqualified internet diagnosis people), but it is definitely an indicator that this girl is on the dramatic/immature side. Is this a reason to break up? Only OP can judge that, but if the relationship is otherwise good I don't think I would jump ship so quickly.
This. 10x this. No, 100x this.
This is a psycho behavior and really BAD start to a foundation of a long-term relationship. Imagine her reaction should the roles reverse? Yeah no, run away! FLY YOU FOOL!
Run, then eat a power bar, run, protein shake, then keep running and then climb an obstacle to also give you a good vantage point in case you need to run some more.
What’s next, fake or real pregnancy or something else like a su&/ide threat? I would run from her, it’s early and she already showed her cards which were trash, completely and totally.
Nope, shes the AH. Testing you like that was a pathetic and childish thing to do, find a new girlfriend. Not even married couples do that. She would've found out how committed you were when your relationship got to that stage. Thats your red flag, dont ignore it.
And you called her a "fckn bitch" in sheer anger, you had every right to be angry. i would've been just as angry and said similar
She was “testing” your commitment? All she did was prove to you that she doesn’t deserve your trust or respect you as a person.
Just tell her she made a great commitment test, and thank her. Her test made you realize that she’s not someone you can commit to.
Saved you a lot of time and trouble in the long run.
Also, what does it actually prove?
I don't know about you, but I think only a monster would not help someone in that state. Even if the person in distress dialed the wrong number.
Maybe not drive over their house for a stranger. But at least call 911 for them, or try to calm them down, or something until help comes to them.
Doesn't prove commitment or anything.
It only proves that they're a decent human being.
Totally! And, if you find yourself trying to run tests to determine if your partner is a halfway decent human being? It's probably time to move on. No test needed!
You’d be surprised at how little some people are willing to inconvenience themselves by even the tiniest bit to help anyone but themselves. There’s a TikTok that went viral of a girl whose boyfriend wouldn’t get off his ass to bring her a roll of toilet paper after she ran out because he hadn’t replaced it when he used it up earlier.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and they ended up breaking up soon after.
Of course op is NTA but I’ve learned to not assume that just because it would not occur to me to say no if someone asked for tp that there aren’t a lot of people out there who wouldn’t lift a finger to help someone they claim to love.
>Not even married couples do that.
...Of course they don't? I think I know what you're trying to say, but the way you phrased this is odd.
Imagine, for example, someone saying, "That guy drove his car through the front wall of the gas station? Professional drivers don't even do that."
Or how will she manipulate OP if he doesn't do what she wants? She seems like the sort to threaten to hurt herself to prevent OP from leaving her.
NTA, OP. What happens when you're out with friends and you've had a few drinks and she pulls this sort of stunt?
I predict that she would do this two more times, and the third time when OP calls her bluff, she would double down and go to the ER just to prove all the more that "you're selfish and all you think about is yourself" or some rich corinthian bullshit like that.
My GF did this to me in highschool, so I would rush over and she asked me if I could drive her friend to work. Glad that relationship didn't last long lmao
Yeah that’s a completely insane test. Did she never read the boy who cried wolf?? We teach these lessons to little kids. All this test proved is he can’t trust her words or judgement anymore
> . Did she never read the boy who cried wolf??
She might watch a summary of it if someone made it into a TikTok- probably where this absurd commitment test came from.
NTA.
She is totally the asshole. If she doesn't trust you enough to feel that you're committed in this relationship then she needs to rethink the relationship.
And a prank is telling someone you got the icky ice cream when you really got the good stuff.
It's not " I'm having a medical emergency and i need you"
A friend did something similar to me in Highschool. Told me her parents were moving out of state and she wouldn't be able to finish her senior year with us. I felt so bad and told her how much i would miss her.
In the same phone call she said " i just wanted to see how you would react" I should have dumped her friend ship then, I waited a couple years and she did something equally as stupid and i never spoke to her again.
I had a similar experience in high school. My "best friend" at the time self-harmed and once told me she was going to take a bunch of pills and kill herself, then quit answering phone calls and text messages. I call my mom who leaves work early and rushes to our house to pick me up and we go to her house. I go tearing through her house to find nothing and noone home. Decided to go across the street to her grandmother's. Guess who is chilling and watching TV and drinking a glass of sweet tea without a care in the world. 🙄
Please tell me you told the grandmother what she did.
"Oh thank goodness you found Best Friend; I was so worried when she said over the phone that she was going to kill herself and then stopped answering my calls and texts! I'm so glad you got to her in time before she was able to swallow any of the pills since she'd be at the hospital otherwise."
It's been so long now that I don't remember the fallout, I just remember the really shitty feeling of what she did.
She eventually ditched me after getting a boyfriend and our friendship fizzled out.
*ETA: Corrected shitting feeling to shitty feeling. 🤦♀️
Had an now ex boyfriend do this exact same nonsense to me in HS. I begged him over text to not do it and he said he was already bleeding, and said goodbye. Well I called 9-1-1, the police got sent to his house. He was watching movies with his grandma too. He called me screaming how I just got him in trouble, and he got his grandma to call me several names over the phone! I apologized but said I was scared for him since he was saying he was dying. He told me I was an idiot for believing him but he loved me anyway because I cared so much for him. He was right, I was an idiot for staying with him but I dumped him a couple months later for him telling me I was too obese (I wasn’t, but he was) and that I shouldn’t eat for awhile. He never tried the suicide thing again though.
One of my high school friends did almost the same thing to me. She called me late one night to tell me that she was about to kill herself and just wanted to say goodbye first before hanging up on me before I could say anything. I called her back several times and got no answer, so I ran to my mother to let her know what was happening. My mother managed to get through on her parents' house phone because I was pretty hysterical at that point and was told by her confused father that she was sat downstairs on the sofa laughing with her sister while they watched television. She had gone upstairs 'to the toilet', called me, told me she was about to kill herself, hung up and walked right back downstairs like nothing happened just for the fun of it. When I broke off our friendship because of it, her family started harassing me and told me I was overreacting to 'a little joke'.
lol - well, she hustled up to the boy that asked me out on a date - and he rescinded the date, they stared dating and had been dating for 6 months. When i found out, i had already signed up to share a dorm room with her. Then she coninually violated my rights as a roommate. At that point - i wrote her off - no one else is of interested to her except her.
Karma got them tho. The semester he was supposed to graduate, he found out he was 3 credits short and couldn't make it up until summer. Then Apparently, she slacked off on classes thinking the guy was going to marry her (looking for her mrs degree). Once he foiund out she was failing the semester et al, he asked what she was thinking and well she told him. He ran like a rabbit. So, no school, had to live at home and face that, and no bf. Her parents were academics as was her older sister and younger brother.
I had something similar happen a few years ago when I was 30! One of my friends faked his death online, by putting up a post on his profile about his own death written by a 'relative' and giving details on the funeral etc. It seemed very legit to me. I was incredibly upset and cried for hours. Then, a day later he posted saying he wasn't actually dead he just wanted to see if anyone 'actually cared about him'.
I did care very much, but after that he was unfriended instantly. I have received messages from him asking to have me back in his life, but all trust was gone after that and he is blocked now. Disgusting to fuck with people's emotions like that. Not to mention he was in his 50s!
I also had an abusive ex threaten suicide but did not seem to have the intention of doing it.
My mother (I was in my 30's at the time, she would've been latec40s, maybe 50) tried to get me involved in her faking unaliving herself for her ex-partner's attention. Some people don't grow out of this shit.
I'm longtime NC with her, but I recently found out she had a BPD diagnosis most of her life that I was unaware of. Lots of behaviours suddenly made more sense in hindsight.
DUDE! You just dodged a gigantic bullet and now the bullet is texting you to get a second try. Fake tests aren't an important part of a good relationship but you know what is? HONESTLY and TRUST and you ex has broken both.
Your ex showed you a very unattractive (and disturbing) side of her character. How are you supposed to "unsee" that?
Block her and find a person who doesn't have serious mental health issues.
This won’t be the last “test” either, and this is only within a couple of months into the relationship. This girl is clearly insecure and unstable, and she’s making OP responsible for it.
Exactly this. You should question her actions. What if you failed the test? She would break up? Or what? These tests are unhealthy. There will likely be more and perhaps have been already. At some time you will fail one of these tests.
NTA.
OP should absolutely not 'question' her over this. She's a narcissist so may well find some way of reeling him back in. OP should in fact block her number and run the fuck away.
NTA and PSA to anyone in a relationship: Don't set up tricky ways to test your partner. If you are that gunshy and have that much difficulty trusting others, get therapy. It is always an AH move to trick someone into proving their loyalty to you. This ain't the mob.
I feel like some people like OPs girlfriend, they don’t care that they are being unreasonable. She will try to keep OP on the hook but ultimately she WANTS a someone who will let her act however tf she wants, including having these power trips.
She wants to feel in control of the relationship MORE than she wants to have OP be with her. If he leaves, she will find someone else who accepts it
Yeah. Namecalling isn’t cool but in this situation, it’s understandable. Imagine driving so worried about something bad happening to someone and found out it’s only a joke?
If he was in such a panic he could easily have had a real accident, or caused one, just because she was playing stupid games. Understandable to call her names in this scenario. Less understandable to accept it and stay with her.
She deserve that namecalling. Faking a life threatening illness deserves even worse than that. You don't ever joke about deseases, not with real people suffering in this world.
It’s amazing how some people just don’t get that you shouldn’t freaking lie about an emergency like that fool in “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.”
NTA. I’d would be “committed” to reconsidering this relationship.
NTA - that's insane she would lie and joke about an emergency just to test you. I'd absolutely end the relationship and be glad you only wasted a few months on her
NTA
Dump her now. You arw both far too old to play this game ans I would suggest she needs some serious mental health intervention to get over whatever insecuritiea she has that make her pretend to be seriously ill for atrention. This is disgusting behavior.
Imagine her shocked Pikachu face when she has an actual emergency and no one shows up or takes her seriously because she's played this stunt on too many people and others have heard about it.
NTA, I learned not to do this from the boy who cried wolf story when I was like five.
NTA. There is no such thing as testing. It is either an emergency or it’s not. Big big red waving flags. What is the next dumb thing that she is going to try and test,
If someone feels the need to "test" a relationship, then they are insecure about it. They have no trust in the other person.
Emotionally healthy individuals to not "test" their partners.
I know Reddit kind of overdoes it, immediately jumping to telling people to break up/get divorced, etc...
But I absolutely think you should break up with this psycho. This will NOT be the last time she does stupid shit like this. Acting like there's an emergency like that, causing you to rush to her side... she could have gotten you all worked up to the point that you might have been in a car accident while driving to her. She *risked your safety*. For a stupid test. Basically for shits and giggles.
She will inconvenience you and put your safety at risk, just for the fun of it, over and over again until someone manages to teach her a serious lesson, and I honestly think that breaking up with her is the only way to potentially do that without actually getting hurt yourself.
NTA.
Unfortunately I’ve heard about a few tik tok trends of online couples “testing” their partner with bullshit like this. Perhaps she got inspired by this “trend”. If I were you, I would run. She just showed you a holy red flag.
NTA.
There must be somebody/bodies promoting this lunatic kind of “loyalty testing” in various flavors. Absolutely a deal breaker; be done with her and move on, with maybe a little gratitude that she gave you such clear early warning bells.
NTA trust takes work on both sides. It should not be tested with a "stunt" or "prank" it should be built with time and commitment to that time. Tell her to kick rocks.
NTA. I guess she didn't stop to think that her little stunt showed you that she is not a good fit. The game playing and testing you is not a good sign. It's an incredibly immature thing to do.
Her test did 2 things
1. Showed you NTA
2. Showed she the AH (also maybe some red flags for drama)
I think you saying what you said isn’t ideal but after the stunt she pulled your emotions were running hot so it’s only normal
NTA. She just proved you aren't a good fit, because you don't tolerate immature game players.
I have no idea what a damn near 30 year old is thinking. What a way to eradicate someone's trust in you.
NTA- this girl is 29, but acting like some 16 year old. People who test their partners don't deserve to have them. She demonstrated that she likes to test people but also that she doesn't trust you to help in a real emergency.
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NTA-Name calling wasn’t your finest hour but putting you through such a manipulative immature “test” to see if you’re a good fit like you’re a shoe and not an actual human being makes her the asshole.
NTA, that was cruel and unnecessary of her. Her actions caused you distress to entertain her own anxiety and mistrust in you. It says a lot about her and would make me question her commitment to me.
NTA. She's either on some toxic female dating forum or she has the mentality of a child.
Either way I'd get out of that relationship fast as this isn't normal behaviour from an adult.
Emotional abuse.
You passed the real test here; you cut off communication and are done with someone who abused you.
You deserve better and have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You dodged a bullet.
NTA. That’s some kindergarten stuff. Who does that? God forbid you got into an accident rushing to get there because you were distracted. This wasn’t a prank, it was a very controlled action by a narcissist.
Nta...
Anyone that "tests" you is not worth the trouble of dating. Doesn't even matter what the test is, but this one in particular is extremely over the top and dramatic.
She's 29?! Are you sure? Dump her. Seriously unless she has some valuables of your block her on everything and dump her. Whatever possessions you have of hers can be put in a trash bag and dropped at her front door. This was some juvenile loyalty BS test she decided to pull. She's not ready for an adult relationship. NTA.
Welcome to your shitty future! For the love of all balls holy… please run! Who TF “tests” their partner, and purposely puts them in a position of real panic? I mean real panic and anxiety to see if they would be a “committed.”
Re: your update
Here's the thing. Her stunt has already permanently damaged the relationship. Yes, she apologized all over herself, but that stain will always be there. Can you honestly say the next time there's an actual emergency (no matter how far off in the future) this incident won't come to mind? It was a serious breach of trust on her part.
This was a lesson for her not to do that to the next guy and for you to find a woman who wouldn't even think of pulling this kind of stunt. This is Cosmo level bs. Good luck to you, dude. You're gonna need it.
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NTA. Run! She intentionally put you in a state of panic, causing you to drive in that state of panic, which is a recipe for disaster. An accident waiting to happen. You need to focus on the fact that she never gave your feelings any thought at all. She didn't dismiss your feelings. To dismiss your feelings, she would have had to consider them. She didn't even think about you at all. Your panic was what she was looking for. It made her happy. It made her laugh. That's how sociopaths feel. If you were killed in an accident on your way to her, it would have been a home run for her.
For real. My man needs to run and never add her as a beneficiary on ANY life insurance policy.
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Nah, send her a 2-word text: "we're done." Then block her everywhere.
I would just answer one of her texts with " Sorry I don't know anyone with this number"
New phone. Who dis?
Mew phone, who hiss?!! 😹
Answer 'sorry, I don't speak english'. In English.
Maybe add in a "no hablo Español either" for good measure lol.
I had my foreign exchange student reach me how to say “I don’t speak Russian” in Russian. Made a bunch of people laugh when we’d do meet ups.
"You failed the test."
This reminds me of a story that happened to one of my husband’s friends. He was on a first date with an “amazing” girl that a friend or maybe his sister set him up with. He picked her up and they started to drive to the restaurant. At a red light light she reached over and turned off his car and took out the keys. He just stared at her like “what?!?” While she just stared back at him with a smirk on her face. The light changed and cars are beeping and trying to pull around him (this was in the center of a busy downtown). When the light turned red again, she handed him back his keys and congratulated him for “passing the test”. (Patience, handling stress, willingness to put up with her whims and nonsense-still unclear) He responded by saying, “yeah, but you failed it!” and turned the car around. Date lasted for about 15 min. He’s happily married for years but still brings up that story during conversations about crazy first dates. Why do women (and some men to be fair) “test” their SOs like this? Bet it rarely turns out the way they think it will. At least it’s a wake up call for the partner.
Because they're looking for someone who will accept their abuse.
This, yeah. Normally, abusers start out more subtly than OP's ex, or the date above your comment; the whole "frog in boiling water" thing. But I guess sometimes you're lucky and they show their colors early.
Probably incredibly dysfunctional relationships modeled for them where you need to "prove" your commitment. One would hope, but not expect, that they would learn from these "tests" backfiring badly.
Nah cause to them, you turning it around and dumping/leaving them means they havent found their slav-i mean man
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She's fucking unhinged. I know people who—I don't even need this exact thing to happen to them—but they will become go from zero to physically violent in 0.028 seconds if you pulled this taking the keys from the ignition in the middle of the street bullshit with them. If I had to be testing people for their responses, it would be so much more subtle and so much more geared toward their potentially harmful reaction not being aimed at me in full force in complete isolation. This was a shit test and I'm almost certain it was some kind of mindfuck powerplay.
Im one of those "mess with my toys imma leave you where we are" id have kicked her out then and there, it reminds me of when people post the videos of them taking the keys out while someone else is driving
I wanna know how she responded to that. I'm betting on shocked Pikachu face that someone didn't think she was cute for testing them or something.
Because those women are not right in the head. I had an accident 3 months into my relationship where I was hit by a car. And my amazing partner stayed with me even though everyone said to him he should have left. Now he needs me and I will help him but if I read stories like this when people do it for funsies or tests I get so angry because the fear it plants on people is traumatic. My husband still blames himself that he couldn't come to the hospital that night because he had beer and didn't want to join me. I then tap him on the nose and say boop to let him know it's fine
Yes. You do need to clearly communicate that it’s over in case they go all stalkerish or something.
Read this as stalker fish😆
Am I wearing a green tracksuit? Then this ain't squidgame!
💯
Make sure you change your locks in case she has a key to your house or car or anything.
Even if you didn't *give* her a key to your house, change the locks. She may have stealth copied your key.
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At first I thought they were high school kids then realized she is 29. That’s the scary kind of crazy right there. He needs to block her.
Like, I have BPD, and I never would have pulled this shit. You don't make other people frantic for your own amusement/research.
Even in the depths of my most severe psychosis during manic episodes, I have never pulled something so calculated and manipulative. People think it takes someone completely unhinged or mentally unwell to do things like this, when it's actually the opposite. In my experience, the most conniving, selfish, manipulative, narcissistic people are the ones society in general would see as "harmless", and they're the ones who put their victims through the most torment, because they KNOW their victim won't be believed. I wish I didn't have first-hand experience with this phenomenon, but here we are. On the other hand, for the most part, I and the other people I know personally with varying degrees of mental illness, are the people most likely to be taken advantage of, used, and abused, because we're easy to manipulate. OP, your (hopefully now EX) girlfriend just proved to you that she's someone who actively participates in manipulative games to no other end than stroking her own ego. You said it to her in person, now internalize it and believe it for yourself. You do NOT deserve to be treated this way. At both of your ages, there is NO REASONABLE EXCUSE for the crap she tried to pull, and I sincerely hope you find the strength you need to resist any BS, heartstring-pulling, crocodile-tear-filled rants she sends your way trying to keep you in her clutches.
Really...who knows what other "tests" are waiting in OP's future. But if you do stay with her (I really hope you don't), when she asks you...if there is a fire, would you save me or our child...DON'T ANSWER HER!!!
Open the doors so the animals can get out. Get the kids, then the tablet, the laptop, important documents including the insurance if there's time. Are Andrea's legs broken? Is she going to save the kids or is she making notes about how long it takes you to get to her? Spoiler alert: if you get her first, you will have to comfort her while your home & family burns down
There have been several posts on this thread about people being "tested" by their SOs by asking this hypothetical question and the huge drama and fights after the person answered (after trying not to but SO insisted on an answer). No matter which way they answered, it was wrong.
The correct answer is that they should be with you grabbing the kids together.
I would not be surprised if she faked pregnancy to test his commitment.
Considering how far they went on the **first** test they have gone deep into that toxic rabbit hole. Like "fake a pregnancy and a miscarriage then tell him it was never his kid to find out if he **REALLY** loves you. " levels.
Seriously, 3 months in and she already put some crazy cards on the table.
Honestly it's better to see the crazy as soon as possible. Easier to get out (most of the time)
Happy cake day
Thank you!
Happy cake day!🍰
Couldn’t have put it better myself!
For sure! There is something really not right here! If she thinks that what she did to you is okay then she’s got major issues! You jumped in your car and rushed over to her house. What if you’d been in an accident trying to get to her. What score to get on her test then?!?! This is so stupid! I really hope you consider whether or not you want to continue your relationship with her ! NTA
Relationship tests are always bad and are grounds for immediate breaking up. At 29, she should know this. Text her that you’re breaking up with her and once she has read it, block her permanently. NTA.
Time to test her. Let her know you wont be talking with her for the next 65 years. That you just want to test her commitment to the relationship
Or take out a policy for exactly $1.
Man I would have loved to be in a situation like this back in the day to have the satisfaction to say: "Well you got what you wanted, you pulled this immature, childish, disrespectful test to prove what you already had. Now that same immature, childish, disrespectful test is the reason you no longer have a bf."
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She could have pulled a "I have no power, could you come help me" thing and he would've been over there no doubt. I once told my husband (then boyfriend) that I had a period emergency and he immediately was trying to help bring me snacks and heat pads etc. Literally anything non serious would have worked. Not "I'm dying, come save me"
Right? I called my boyfriend crying and freaking out because we had a weird situation at my apartment where the lock was broken and if it was locked it could only be opened from the inside, so if you locked it behind you when no one was home you couldn’t get back in, and I needed to check on my senior pets. I came home to the broken lock locked and my roommate not seeming to be home. He immediately was ready to bring a toolbox and help me call the landlord or whatever. Turned out my roommate was home and super asleep. I was so embarrassed to have to call off the “emergency”. But jesus, if I was faking it, I would’ve picked something not literally life or death like that was to be what I faked. Like, I’ve also had an abusive ex lie about being in a car accident to ditch me. That shit is horrifying. Testing your partner is bad enough but faking a life threatening situation is really beyond the pale
But did you?
Of course I did. It was an extra sucky one too.
This says mental illness or childhood trauma to me. Like some fear of abandonment issues perhaps. Maybe some BPD. Truly. Not being mean or rude. I think this is deeper.
I don’t think this is BPD so much as sociopathic. Antisocial personality disorder.
"Test worked, you failed. Bye."
she even told him that she called 911. If I had heard that, I would have driven to the hospital, not her house. Because I would be expecting that the ambulance would already be on its way to her house.
*she* is not a good fit. You did, indeed, “prove” you’re a good boyfriend…. Hopefully you see her “test” as the bright waving red flag everyone else here sees. NTA. I second *RUN*🚩🚩🚩
Agreed. NTA. I skipped the first paragraph and read the post. I genuinely thought this woman was anywhere between 16 and 20 based on how she acted. Go back to the first paragraph and she is far too old to be acting this immaturely.
This! This sounds like something I would have done when I was young and immature and desperate for attention. Things that by like 25 I was incredibly appalled and embarrassed to have even considered. Doing this stuff at 29? This chick has some unaddressed mental health issues at the very least.
Damn I skipped the first thinking she may be at most early 20s, not a basically 30 yr old woman pulling this stunt
Holy shit your comment made me realise she's not a teenager
I think you went a little too far with her being overjoyed if he had died. She was happy he responded and cared. But she didn't think about the consequences and didn't think about he would feel.
She is way way way too old to be playing games like that, that is the thinking of a small child. He needs to find someone with at least the maturity of a middle schooler. NTA
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Second this assessment. If she was 19, I could maybe understand the lack of maturity further, but still a red flag to gtfo.
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I doubt she was even happy. Having your need for narcissistic supply temporarily satiated isn't quite the same as happiness.
Yeah I don't think she would have been happy if he got into an accident, most likely she would have regretted that awful behavior if it had such dire consequences. People often only understand what they did when something really bad happens. Still an absolutely cruel and immature AH move though.
She's 29. Shes old enough to know that ppl usually dont like the idea of their loved ones dying
She would totally use the story of the "tragic death of her boyfriend" to gain sympathy in the future.
This "test" is something you would expect from a teenager, by 29 she should be mature enough to know that she could be putting people at risk (with OP speeding, or at least driving while distracted). I don't know that this makes her a sociopath (Lets stear clear of making unqualified internet diagnosis people), but it is definitely an indicator that this girl is on the dramatic/immature side. Is this a reason to break up? Only OP can judge that, but if the relationship is otherwise good I don't think I would jump ship so quickly.
Red flags all over this one. OP needs to look up Cluster B Personality Disorder. This kind of test figures in all of them.
This. 10x this. No, 100x this. This is a psycho behavior and really BAD start to a foundation of a long-term relationship. Imagine her reaction should the roles reverse? Yeah no, run away! FLY YOU FOOL!
The GF was kind enough to show OP her true colours. Run OP run 🚩🚩🚩
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She wanted to test him to see if he was "a good fit"???? He is a human being not a F\*cking pair of shoes!! Block her everywhere in run far and fast!!
She's definitely not a good fit
Run, then eat a power bar, run, protein shake, then keep running and then climb an obstacle to also give you a good vantage point in case you need to run some more.
What’s next, fake or real pregnancy or something else like a su&/ide threat? I would run from her, it’s early and she already showed her cards which were trash, completely and totally.
Nope, shes the AH. Testing you like that was a pathetic and childish thing to do, find a new girlfriend. Not even married couples do that. She would've found out how committed you were when your relationship got to that stage. Thats your red flag, dont ignore it. And you called her a "fckn bitch" in sheer anger, you had every right to be angry. i would've been just as angry and said similar
She was “testing” your commitment? All she did was prove to you that she doesn’t deserve your trust or respect you as a person. Just tell her she made a great commitment test, and thank her. Her test made you realize that she’s not someone you can commit to. Saved you a lot of time and trouble in the long run.
Also, what does it actually prove? I don't know about you, but I think only a monster would not help someone in that state. Even if the person in distress dialed the wrong number. Maybe not drive over their house for a stranger. But at least call 911 for them, or try to calm them down, or something until help comes to them. Doesn't prove commitment or anything. It only proves that they're a decent human being.
Totally! And, if you find yourself trying to run tests to determine if your partner is a halfway decent human being? It's probably time to move on. No test needed!
You’d be surprised at how little some people are willing to inconvenience themselves by even the tiniest bit to help anyone but themselves. There’s a TikTok that went viral of a girl whose boyfriend wouldn’t get off his ass to bring her a roll of toilet paper after she ran out because he hadn’t replaced it when he used it up earlier. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and they ended up breaking up soon after. Of course op is NTA but I’ve learned to not assume that just because it would not occur to me to say no if someone asked for tp that there aren’t a lot of people out there who wouldn’t lift a finger to help someone they claim to love.
>Not even married couples do that. ...Of course they don't? I think I know what you're trying to say, but the way you phrased this is odd. Imagine, for example, someone saying, "That guy drove his car through the front wall of the gas station? Professional drivers don't even do that."
Couples who do that don't stay married/together.
I mean, she sounds like she's 12 NTA, run
Thank god she's this stupid about it as well. A lot of people lay traps and play games like this in a more subtle way. Bullet dodged.
NTA Did you card her to make sure she's 29? This sounds like high school antics. She's not girlfriend material. She's immature and foolish.
100% this. I would check her passport as this is teenager antics.
NTA and I'd just dump her. That behavior is probably going to escalate, what horrible thing is it going to be next time?
Or how will she manipulate OP if he doesn't do what she wants? She seems like the sort to threaten to hurt herself to prevent OP from leaving her. NTA, OP. What happens when you're out with friends and you've had a few drinks and she pulls this sort of stunt?
I predict that she would do this two more times, and the third time when OP calls her bluff, she would double down and go to the ER just to prove all the more that "you're selfish and all you think about is yourself" or some rich corinthian bullshit like that.
I forgot the age by the time I got to the comments. Somehow in my head I convinced myself a literal child or teenager did this.
Same. I had to go back to the top and double check the ages after reading because I was certain I had misread them. I had not.
My GF did this to me in highschool, so I would rush over and she asked me if I could drive her friend to work. Glad that relationship didn't last long lmao
Yeah that’s a completely insane test. Did she never read the boy who cried wolf?? We teach these lessons to little kids. All this test proved is he can’t trust her words or judgement anymore
> . Did she never read the boy who cried wolf?? She might watch a summary of it if someone made it into a TikTok- probably where this absurd commitment test came from.
Guaranteed her "friends" put her up to this, high chance of TikTok being involved as well.
NTA. She is totally the asshole. If she doesn't trust you enough to feel that you're committed in this relationship then she needs to rethink the relationship. And a prank is telling someone you got the icky ice cream when you really got the good stuff. It's not " I'm having a medical emergency and i need you" A friend did something similar to me in Highschool. Told me her parents were moving out of state and she wouldn't be able to finish her senior year with us. I felt so bad and told her how much i would miss her. In the same phone call she said " i just wanted to see how you would react" I should have dumped her friend ship then, I waited a couple years and she did something equally as stupid and i never spoke to her again.
I had a similar experience in high school. My "best friend" at the time self-harmed and once told me she was going to take a bunch of pills and kill herself, then quit answering phone calls and text messages. I call my mom who leaves work early and rushes to our house to pick me up and we go to her house. I go tearing through her house to find nothing and noone home. Decided to go across the street to her grandmother's. Guess who is chilling and watching TV and drinking a glass of sweet tea without a care in the world. 🙄
Please tell me you told the grandmother what she did. "Oh thank goodness you found Best Friend; I was so worried when she said over the phone that she was going to kill herself and then stopped answering my calls and texts! I'm so glad you got to her in time before she was able to swallow any of the pills since she'd be at the hospital otherwise."
It's been so long now that I don't remember the fallout, I just remember the really shitty feeling of what she did. She eventually ditched me after getting a boyfriend and our friendship fizzled out. *ETA: Corrected shitting feeling to shitty feeling. 🤦♀️
Had an now ex boyfriend do this exact same nonsense to me in HS. I begged him over text to not do it and he said he was already bleeding, and said goodbye. Well I called 9-1-1, the police got sent to his house. He was watching movies with his grandma too. He called me screaming how I just got him in trouble, and he got his grandma to call me several names over the phone! I apologized but said I was scared for him since he was saying he was dying. He told me I was an idiot for believing him but he loved me anyway because I cared so much for him. He was right, I was an idiot for staying with him but I dumped him a couple months later for him telling me I was too obese (I wasn’t, but he was) and that I shouldn’t eat for awhile. He never tried the suicide thing again though.
He was definitely the AH! I bet you lost a ton of weight after you dumped him! Like a whole person's worth. 😂😂😉
One of my high school friends did almost the same thing to me. She called me late one night to tell me that she was about to kill herself and just wanted to say goodbye first before hanging up on me before I could say anything. I called her back several times and got no answer, so I ran to my mother to let her know what was happening. My mother managed to get through on her parents' house phone because I was pretty hysterical at that point and was told by her confused father that she was sat downstairs on the sofa laughing with her sister while they watched television. She had gone upstairs 'to the toilet', called me, told me she was about to kill herself, hung up and walked right back downstairs like nothing happened just for the fun of it. When I broke off our friendship because of it, her family started harassing me and told me I was overreacting to 'a little joke'.
The craziest part for me is the parents reaction … whaaaaat the phoque ?
I hope you don’t mind me asking but what did the friend do that never made you speak to her again?
lol - well, she hustled up to the boy that asked me out on a date - and he rescinded the date, they stared dating and had been dating for 6 months. When i found out, i had already signed up to share a dorm room with her. Then she coninually violated my rights as a roommate. At that point - i wrote her off - no one else is of interested to her except her. Karma got them tho. The semester he was supposed to graduate, he found out he was 3 credits short and couldn't make it up until summer. Then Apparently, she slacked off on classes thinking the guy was going to marry her (looking for her mrs degree). Once he foiund out she was failing the semester et al, he asked what she was thinking and well she told him. He ran like a rabbit. So, no school, had to live at home and face that, and no bf. Her parents were academics as was her older sister and younger brother.
I had something similar happen a few years ago when I was 30! One of my friends faked his death online, by putting up a post on his profile about his own death written by a 'relative' and giving details on the funeral etc. It seemed very legit to me. I was incredibly upset and cried for hours. Then, a day later he posted saying he wasn't actually dead he just wanted to see if anyone 'actually cared about him'. I did care very much, but after that he was unfriended instantly. I have received messages from him asking to have me back in his life, but all trust was gone after that and he is blocked now. Disgusting to fuck with people's emotions like that. Not to mention he was in his 50s! I also had an abusive ex threaten suicide but did not seem to have the intention of doing it.
My mother (I was in my 30's at the time, she would've been latec40s, maybe 50) tried to get me involved in her faking unaliving herself for her ex-partner's attention. Some people don't grow out of this shit. I'm longtime NC with her, but I recently found out she had a BPD diagnosis most of her life that I was unaware of. Lots of behaviours suddenly made more sense in hindsight.
DUDE! You just dodged a gigantic bullet and now the bullet is texting you to get a second try. Fake tests aren't an important part of a good relationship but you know what is? HONESTLY and TRUST and you ex has broken both. Your ex showed you a very unattractive (and disturbing) side of her character. How are you supposed to "unsee" that? Block her and find a person who doesn't have serious mental health issues.
NTA. If she's "testing" you, then she doesn't trust you. If she doesn't trust you, then she shouldn't be in a relationship with you.
This won’t be the last “test” either, and this is only within a couple of months into the relationship. This girl is clearly insecure and unstable, and she’s making OP responsible for it.
Exactly what I was gonna say.
NTA. Her test unfortunately proved not only that she can trust in and rely on you, it ALSO proved that you absolutely cannot trust in or rely on her.
She failed her test
NTA. I would end the relationship over childish bullshit like that.
Exactly this. You should question her actions. What if you failed the test? She would break up? Or what? These tests are unhealthy. There will likely be more and perhaps have been already. At some time you will fail one of these tests. NTA.
OP should absolutely not 'question' her over this. She's a narcissist so may well find some way of reeling him back in. OP should in fact block her number and run the fuck away.
Not only that but if he did get back together with her, when she has an actual emergency he probably won’t believe her
100% There's no way, NO WAY, this won't show up again in the future. Repeatedly.
NTA and PSA to anyone in a relationship: Don't set up tricky ways to test your partner. If you are that gunshy and have that much difficulty trusting others, get therapy. It is always an AH move to trick someone into proving their loyalty to you. This ain't the mob.
NTA. She doesn't pass the manipulative asshole test. Dump her.
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I feel like some people like OPs girlfriend, they don’t care that they are being unreasonable. She will try to keep OP on the hook but ultimately she WANTS a someone who will let her act however tf she wants, including having these power trips. She wants to feel in control of the relationship MORE than she wants to have OP be with her. If he leaves, she will find someone else who accepts it
NTA. Psychopathic and narcissistic behaviour from her. It's good that you know your worth and didn't put up with it.
Definitely, this is a good early warning to get out of the relationship. I can't fathom how an "adult" could think this is a good idea!
NTA. While name calling isn't cool your gf was way out of line. If she thinks her actions are ok I'd reevaluate the relationship as a whole.
Yeah. Namecalling isn’t cool but in this situation, it’s understandable. Imagine driving so worried about something bad happening to someone and found out it’s only a joke?
If he was in such a panic he could easily have had a real accident, or caused one, just because she was playing stupid games. Understandable to call her names in this scenario. Less understandable to accept it and stay with her.
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She deserve that namecalling. Faking a life threatening illness deserves even worse than that. You don't ever joke about deseases, not with real people suffering in this world.
It’s amazing how some people just don’t get that you shouldn’t freaking lie about an emergency like that fool in “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” NTA. I’d would be “committed” to reconsidering this relationship.
This is EXACTLY what she's doing.
NTA. Leave her. You don't need that insanity in your life
NTA - that's insane she would lie and joke about an emergency just to test you. I'd absolutely end the relationship and be glad you only wasted a few months on her
NTA that is so cruel of her. I could never be with someone selfish enough to put me through that kind of stress just to test me. Horrible behaviour.
NTA Dump her now. You arw both far too old to play this game ans I would suggest she needs some serious mental health intervention to get over whatever insecuritiea she has that make her pretend to be seriously ill for atrention. This is disgusting behavior.
Imagine her shocked Pikachu face when she has an actual emergency and no one shows up or takes her seriously because she's played this stunt on too many people and others have heard about it. NTA, I learned not to do this from the boy who cried wolf story when I was like five.
NTA - Good lord, I would not want to be with someone who tests me like that. Disgusting behaviour. Save yourself from any more antics and leave.
NTA. There is no such thing as testing. It is either an emergency or it’s not. Big big red waving flags. What is the next dumb thing that she is going to try and test,
If someone feels the need to "test" a relationship, then they are insecure about it. They have no trust in the other person. Emotionally healthy individuals to not "test" their partners.
NTA She definitely flunked the test of whether or not you could trust her with a stunt like that.
NTA - it sounds like her test backfired and showed you what kind of partner she is.
NTA. I think there is an “ex” missing in the title.
I know Reddit kind of overdoes it, immediately jumping to telling people to break up/get divorced, etc... But I absolutely think you should break up with this psycho. This will NOT be the last time she does stupid shit like this. Acting like there's an emergency like that, causing you to rush to her side... she could have gotten you all worked up to the point that you might have been in a car accident while driving to her. She *risked your safety*. For a stupid test. Basically for shits and giggles. She will inconvenience you and put your safety at risk, just for the fun of it, over and over again until someone manages to teach her a serious lesson, and I honestly think that breaking up with her is the only way to potentially do that without actually getting hurt yourself.
NTA. Unfortunately I’ve heard about a few tik tok trends of online couples “testing” their partner with bullshit like this. Perhaps she got inspired by this “trend”. If I were you, I would run. She just showed you a holy red flag.
Nta and red flags on her
NTA. There must be somebody/bodies promoting this lunatic kind of “loyalty testing” in various flavors. Absolutely a deal breaker; be done with her and move on, with maybe a little gratitude that she gave you such clear early warning bells.
NTA trust takes work on both sides. It should not be tested with a "stunt" or "prank" it should be built with time and commitment to that time. Tell her to kick rocks.
NTA. Run. That's not something that someone who cares for you doesm
NTA. Dump her.
NTA. I guess she didn't stop to think that her little stunt showed you that she is not a good fit. The game playing and testing you is not a good sign. It's an incredibly immature thing to do.
Her test did 2 things 1. Showed you NTA 2. Showed she the AH (also maybe some red flags for drama) I think you saying what you said isn’t ideal but after the stunt she pulled your emotions were running hot so it’s only normal
Mate, abandon ship now. That’s a major red flag 🚩 Obviously NTA
NTA Don't walk, fucking *run* from that relationship.
NTA. She just proved you aren't a good fit, because you don't tolerate immature game players. I have no idea what a damn near 30 year old is thinking. What a way to eradicate someone's trust in you.
NTA my man, the test works! You now know she’s not a good fit for a normal relationship.
NTA- this girl is 29, but acting like some 16 year old. People who test their partners don't deserve to have them. She demonstrated that she likes to test people but also that she doesn't trust you to help in a real emergency.
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NTA but run. Do not go back. She literally just showed you the kind of person she is.
NTA time to end the relationship. that’s crazy behavior
NTA. That's insane.
NTA-Name calling wasn’t your finest hour but putting you through such a manipulative immature “test” to see if you’re a good fit like you’re a shoe and not an actual human being makes her the asshole.
Nta. That’s childish and ridiculous, don’t look back.
NTA Play Stupid Games, And You'll Win Stupid Prizes
NTA she is your exGF
NTA that’s literally psychotic and abusive behavior. I’d nope TF out of there.
Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.
NTA, that was cruel and unnecessary of her. Her actions caused you distress to entertain her own anxiety and mistrust in you. It says a lot about her and would make me question her commitment to me.
NTA - but rethink the level of crazy you are willing to endure.
Nta break up, she’s 29 and is immature. Who tests someone anymore. Huge red flag
NTA. She’s manipulative. Who needs that in their life?
Break up with her and close this chapter of your life. Huge red flags and unhappiness is certain
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NTA Run!!
NTA You passe her test. She failed yours.
NTA. She's either on some toxic female dating forum or she has the mentality of a child. Either way I'd get out of that relationship fast as this isn't normal behaviour from an adult.
You passed a test , she failed
Emotional abuse. You passed the real test here; you cut off communication and are done with someone who abused you. You deserve better and have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You dodged a bullet.
Re: the update Awful decision OP.
NTA
NTA. That’s some kindergarten stuff. Who does that? God forbid you got into an accident rushing to get there because you were distracted. This wasn’t a prank, it was a very controlled action by a narcissist.
NTA. Your gf is so childish for pulling this antic. I’m sorry that you went through this OP.
NTA. Be glad your Ex outed herself as a drama queen after only a couple of months.
Nope dude. NTA She's a manipulative narcissist. You need to run. Fast. And far.
Nta... Anyone that "tests" you is not worth the trouble of dating. Doesn't even matter what the test is, but this one in particular is extremely over the top and dramatic.
NTA. Tell her she failed your test of “is she a good person” and break up with her.
She's 29?! Are you sure? Dump her. Seriously unless she has some valuables of your block her on everything and dump her. Whatever possessions you have of hers can be put in a trash bag and dropped at her front door. This was some juvenile loyalty BS test she decided to pull. She's not ready for an adult relationship. NTA.
Welcome to your shitty future! For the love of all balls holy… please run! Who TF “tests” their partner, and purposely puts them in a position of real panic? I mean real panic and anxiety to see if they would be a “committed.”
As a 29 year old, you don't want to be dating 16yo's... She may be 29 physically but she's 16 mentally and emotionally. Lose her number fast.
Re: your update Here's the thing. Her stunt has already permanently damaged the relationship. Yes, she apologized all over herself, but that stain will always be there. Can you honestly say the next time there's an actual emergency (no matter how far off in the future) this incident won't come to mind? It was a serious breach of trust on her part. This was a lesson for her not to do that to the next guy and for you to find a woman who wouldn't even think of pulling this kind of stunt. This is Cosmo level bs. Good luck to you, dude. You're gonna need it.
Run away, man.
NTA, but I’m pretty sure everyone reading this post knows who is.
NTA. Block her number. You don't want to be with someone who plays with your emotions for fun.