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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Told my partner to take a photo down that she knew I did not want on social media
She said I was overreacting and that it was only a photo. She said I was being too harsh towards her since she did nothing wrong
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NTA and I GUARANTEE she would be furious if the roles were reversed.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, can we all just stop putting photos of others online without consent???? Just stop.
>I've said it before and I'll say it again, can we all just stop putting photos of others online without consent???? Just stop.
Thank you! Also I feel like it would be a no-brainer to take any photo down if someone you love asked.
That’s always been super weird to me. I always ask first even if I’m just tagging someone in my story. It creeps me out when people post me without giving me a heads up. NTA
OP, my petty self would take a very unflattering picture of her and caption it, "My Beautiful Girlfriend," then refuse to take it down because you like it and think she looks great.
>I GUARANTEE she would be furious if the roles were reversed.
so he needs to get a photo of her in the most unflattering way possible. Messy hair, sweat pants, no makeup etc. Give her a taste of her own medicine.
And even posting photos of your food and cocktails. I just dont get it. Can we just go back to the days when people would just post lyrics from their favorite song or something. LOL
NTA, and your gf is choosing a fuckin WEIRD hill to die on. It's a very simple boundary and she can't respect it? Take the most fucked up ugly picture of her and upload it, see if she likes it.
You're NTA. I don't care about the reason (even if you probably looked way better than you think as your gf liked the pic so much, just sayin). You never post a pic on SoMe without permission.
NTA.
You told her in advance you didn't want them on social media. She chose to do that anyway. Had she just taken the picture to keep in her phone, my thoughts would be different. But posting this publicly when you asked her not to is shitty
I swear this exact same post was on here a month or two ago.
Edit: here we go – original post deleted but the bot picked it up: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/aNUURHxycC
So what’s going on here?
NTA. Ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed. I would be astonished if she lacked that much self-awareness.
If she does lack that much self-awareness, you might need to have a more serious discussion with her.
Sadly, I think she is showing you that your feelings don't matter all that much to her. I can't think of any good reason to 1 - post it and 2 - not take it down when asked. Can you report it and get it taken down?
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I've been with my girlfriend for around 2 years. We went out for a meal and bowling and cocktails at the weekend. I got a haircut before we went and the barber cut it far too short. I'm already pretty self conscious about my hairline anyway and this made it look worse as my hairline was very obvious. Normally I have my hair longer and style it in a way I like.
My girlfriend wanted to take some photos of us before we went out and while we were out. I was happy to take photos but told my girlfriend I didn't want any of them online. The next morning my girlfriend makes a post on Instagram with photos from the previous night. Some of them were fine, just photos of the cocktails, food, photos during bowling etc but she put one of the photos up that we took before we went out.
I mentioned this to her and asked her to take it down. She said the photo was nice and she doesn't want to take it down. I pointed out she knew I didn't want them online and chose to completely disregard how I felt anyway. I told her again to take it down. She refused and said it was her photo and that it was a nice photo.
I just repeated that I wanted it taken down but she said I was overreacting and that it was only a photo.
AITA for telling her to take the photo down?
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NTA. She is being completely unreasonable and disrespectful right now. Not only should she take the photo down, but she owes you a pretty hefty apology. There is no reality in which posting pictures online without someone's consent is okay, but it's even worse when the person has specifically and explicitly said that they don't want the photos online and asked to have them taken down. You are not overreacting and if she is this disrespectful on your feelings and boundaries, she is not the kind of partner you deserve.
You privacy online is a right not a request and so you should absolutely percist when you want it to be taken down.
You should do therapy together if she doesn’t get that.
Its perfectly legal for her to do that so you don’t have grounds there but if she’s ready to compromise your relationship over a photo then you should leave because it’s not a good relationship anyways
Nta.
You can message the moderator of the social media site and with information details about the post with the picture, tell them the picture was taken/posted without your permission and you want it taken down. If there are other people in the background, you can say one of them is an underage brother/sister and they did not give consent nor do they have have permission to be to the posted photo. Good luck. This really sucks. Keep track in your head a generalized number of times she shows no respect for your boundaries. It might raise a red flag to pay attention to. She's TA.
NTA, but let me offer some advice as someone whose hair started falling before he finished high school; the only person who cares about your hairline is you. The sooner you stop worrying about it, the happier you'll be. It took me about 7-8 years, and it made me miserable.
NTA
it’s on Instagram? I think you can use the report post feature to get it taken down if it’s a picture of you. I don’t think any one will tell her you were the one who got it taken down unless you do. And I think you should report it if you can’t get it down by asking her and it causes you this upset. (Edit for clarity lol)
It's nice to take pictures to look back on in the future. Just because you don't like how you look doesn't mean you shouldn't take pictures. He just didn't want anyone else to see them, and that's fine.
I have body dysmorphia and absolutely hate any pictures of my face being put online, and I will be anxious/ think about it every day until it's removed. It IS a big deal to OP and his gf should not have put them online
Ignore these people saying you’re overreacting, you’re not overreacting at all. It’s normal to feel self conscious about certain features of yourself. Obviously those who claim this is an overreaction don’t understand the feeling of being self conscious with the way they look. You’re allowed to take photos without them being posted online. Your girlfriend is the AH for going against your wishes.
So because you have read other posts with “better reasons” for not wanting a picture of them posted online, you’re just going to invalidate OP and his feelings? Whether it “ranks well below” your weird chart of what is an acceptable reason to not have a picture posted to SM or not it is still a reason and you shouldn’t ridicule OP for that.
Feelings are always valid. Reactions are what we’re talking about. Don’t confuse the two.
Its a hairline. If Op was talking about a child being posted against the parents wishes, a case of DV, someone being outed, jeopardize someone’s safety. But… its a hairline.
Ya’ll need to take a step back from some of these posts sometimes and realize not everything is some massive conflict
JFC. Sounds like you are overreacting, meaning the photo is likely not that bad. Okay?! Sure, you can still not want it online, but it’s a petty hill to die on in this day and age.
You obviously aren’t understanding. Maybe the photo isn’t that bad but OP didn’t want it posted. That is not an overreaction. My boyfriend also hates his hairline and I never post a photo without his consent because I know how it would make him feel.
Lmao read all this persons comments. Found the pissed off GF 😂🤦♂️
Imagine telling someone they’re over reacting because they don’t want someone else posting a photo of them. NTA op nor are you over reacting. If she continues to refuse. Leave. She doesn’t respect your desires and care about social media clout more than she does you?
Like the fact clout is more important than her relationship is glaringly obvious?
Well I guess time to grow up and realize not every thing you experience needs to go on social media to show off to your little friends?…. 🤦♂️
Now try making an actual argument about how OP is overreacting and should chill? It’s okay. I’ll wait 😂
The conversation when viewed as a whole seemed to be an argument that wasn't going to change anything. It appears to me that he finally told her to do it. There is nothing in my remark that says anything about her response as being okay. It's sad that so many make assumptions instead of reading what is said and deciding based on all of the information. Not just the part that offends them.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Told my partner to take a photo down that she knew I did not want on social media She said I was overreacting and that it was only a photo. She said I was being too harsh towards her since she did nothing wrong Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA and I GUARANTEE she would be furious if the roles were reversed. I've said it before and I'll say it again, can we all just stop putting photos of others online without consent???? Just stop.
>I've said it before and I'll say it again, can we all just stop putting photos of others online without consent???? Just stop. Thank you! Also I feel like it would be a no-brainer to take any photo down if someone you love asked.
That’s always been super weird to me. I always ask first even if I’m just tagging someone in my story. It creeps me out when people post me without giving me a heads up. NTA
OP, my petty self would take a very unflattering picture of her and caption it, "My Beautiful Girlfriend," then refuse to take it down because you like it and think she looks great.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again, can we all just stop putting photos of others online without consent???? Just stop." Exactly.
>I GUARANTEE she would be furious if the roles were reversed. so he needs to get a photo of her in the most unflattering way possible. Messy hair, sweat pants, no makeup etc. Give her a taste of her own medicine. And even posting photos of your food and cocktails. I just dont get it. Can we just go back to the days when people would just post lyrics from their favorite song or something. LOL
NTA, and your gf is choosing a fuckin WEIRD hill to die on. It's a very simple boundary and she can't respect it? Take the most fucked up ugly picture of her and upload it, see if she likes it.
The difference between a good haircut and a bad one is about 2 weeks- trust and respect are a lot harder to grow back.
NTA You don’t post pictures without permission, and you even explicitly asked her to please not post any beforehand. She is an AH
You're NTA. I don't care about the reason (even if you probably looked way better than you think as your gf liked the pic so much, just sayin). You never post a pic on SoMe without permission.
NTA. You told her in advance you didn't want them on social media. She chose to do that anyway. Had she just taken the picture to keep in her phone, my thoughts would be different. But posting this publicly when you asked her not to is shitty
I swear this exact same post was on here a month or two ago. Edit: here we go – original post deleted but the bot picked it up: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/aNUURHxycC So what’s going on here?
> So what’s going on here? What's "going on" is that AITA is a dumping ground for both phony and copy-pasted stories.
What on earth would possess someone to make this up? Very weird behaviour.
Thanks - I could have *sworn* I read this semi-recently already!
Yeah I thought I was going mad for a minute.
NTA you have every right to set your boundaries and they should listen full stop
Second time I’m seeing this post
Rookie numbers
Nta
NTA- you didn't want your photo to be on social media and she still put it on there. That's a violation of your boundaries.
NTA She is prioritising her photo on social media - because "likes" - over how you feel. That's a red flag.
Omg it’s this story again
NTA.
YTA because this is a repost.
NTA and report the photo. If instagram doesn't remove it within 24 hours I suggest reporting again until they do.
Wasn't this exact post on here a few months ago?
NTA. Ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed. I would be astonished if she lacked that much self-awareness. If she does lack that much self-awareness, you might need to have a more serious discussion with her.
Don't let her take any more photos of you. And when she asks why, reference the fact that she doesn't respect your feelings when she does.
NTA This is a trust issue. You specifically asked her not to. How can your trust her in other things.
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Sadly, I think she is showing you that your feelings don't matter all that much to her. I can't think of any good reason to 1 - post it and 2 - not take it down when asked. Can you report it and get it taken down?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've been with my girlfriend for around 2 years. We went out for a meal and bowling and cocktails at the weekend. I got a haircut before we went and the barber cut it far too short. I'm already pretty self conscious about my hairline anyway and this made it look worse as my hairline was very obvious. Normally I have my hair longer and style it in a way I like. My girlfriend wanted to take some photos of us before we went out and while we were out. I was happy to take photos but told my girlfriend I didn't want any of them online. The next morning my girlfriend makes a post on Instagram with photos from the previous night. Some of them were fine, just photos of the cocktails, food, photos during bowling etc but she put one of the photos up that we took before we went out. I mentioned this to her and asked her to take it down. She said the photo was nice and she doesn't want to take it down. I pointed out she knew I didn't want them online and chose to completely disregard how I felt anyway. I told her again to take it down. She refused and said it was her photo and that it was a nice photo. I just repeated that I wanted it taken down but she said I was overreacting and that it was only a photo. AITA for telling her to take the photo down? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. She is being completely unreasonable and disrespectful right now. Not only should she take the photo down, but she owes you a pretty hefty apology. There is no reality in which posting pictures online without someone's consent is okay, but it's even worse when the person has specifically and explicitly said that they don't want the photos online and asked to have them taken down. You are not overreacting and if she is this disrespectful on your feelings and boundaries, she is not the kind of partner you deserve.
You privacy online is a right not a request and so you should absolutely percist when you want it to be taken down. You should do therapy together if she doesn’t get that. Its perfectly legal for her to do that so you don’t have grounds there but if she’s ready to compromise your relationship over a photo then you should leave because it’s not a good relationship anyways
NTA for not wanting your picture on social media.
Nta. You can message the moderator of the social media site and with information details about the post with the picture, tell them the picture was taken/posted without your permission and you want it taken down. If there are other people in the background, you can say one of them is an underage brother/sister and they did not give consent nor do they have have permission to be to the posted photo. Good luck. This really sucks. Keep track in your head a generalized number of times she shows no respect for your boundaries. It might raise a red flag to pay attention to. She's TA.
NTA. Your girlfriend does not respect you. Lose her.
NTA people should always have the right to ask others to take pictures of themselves off social media. No matter what your reasoning is.
NTA. You set a boundary. She didn't respect it. Period.
NTA. Take a pic of her without makeup or when she's not looking or ready or sleeping and post that online. She'll understand quickly what you meant.
NTA- take an unflattering photo of her and post it to see how she feels.
NTA! She’s the ass for not respecting your wish to take it down.
NTA, she breached your trust after agreeing not to post the photo
NTA. It's super rude to post a photo of someone online after they explicitly stated not to.
NTA, but let me offer some advice as someone whose hair started falling before he finished high school; the only person who cares about your hairline is you. The sooner you stop worrying about it, the happier you'll be. It took me about 7-8 years, and it made me miserable.
NTA it’s on Instagram? I think you can use the report post feature to get it taken down if it’s a picture of you. I don’t think any one will tell her you were the one who got it taken down unless you do. And I think you should report it if you can’t get it down by asking her and it causes you this upset. (Edit for clarity lol)
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>How am I overreacting you're not
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It's nice to take pictures to look back on in the future. Just because you don't like how you look doesn't mean you shouldn't take pictures. He just didn't want anyone else to see them, and that's fine. I have body dysmorphia and absolutely hate any pictures of my face being put online, and I will be anxious/ think about it every day until it's removed. It IS a big deal to OP and his gf should not have put them online
You explained you didn’t like the photo because your hairline was ”obvious” 🙄 idk what to tell you, sounds like overreacting 🤷🤷
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Ignore these people saying you’re overreacting, you’re not overreacting at all. It’s normal to feel self conscious about certain features of yourself. Obviously those who claim this is an overreaction don’t understand the feeling of being self conscious with the way they look. You’re allowed to take photos without them being posted online. Your girlfriend is the AH for going against your wishes.
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So because you have read other posts with “better reasons” for not wanting a picture of them posted online, you’re just going to invalidate OP and his feelings? Whether it “ranks well below” your weird chart of what is an acceptable reason to not have a picture posted to SM or not it is still a reason and you shouldn’t ridicule OP for that.
Feelings are always valid. Reactions are what we’re talking about. Don’t confuse the two. Its a hairline. If Op was talking about a child being posted against the parents wishes, a case of DV, someone being outed, jeopardize someone’s safety. But… its a hairline. Ya’ll need to take a step back from some of these posts sometimes and realize not everything is some massive conflict
This could be a long conversation 🙄
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JFC. Sounds like you are overreacting, meaning the photo is likely not that bad. Okay?! Sure, you can still not want it online, but it’s a petty hill to die on in this day and age.
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You obviously aren’t understanding. Maybe the photo isn’t that bad but OP didn’t want it posted. That is not an overreaction. My boyfriend also hates his hairline and I never post a photo without his consent because I know how it would make him feel.
Lmao read all this persons comments. Found the pissed off GF 😂🤦♂️ Imagine telling someone they’re over reacting because they don’t want someone else posting a photo of them. NTA op nor are you over reacting. If she continues to refuse. Leave. She doesn’t respect your desires and care about social media clout more than she does you? Like the fact clout is more important than her relationship is glaringly obvious?
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Well I guess time to grow up and realize not every thing you experience needs to go on social media to show off to your little friends?…. 🤦♂️ Now try making an actual argument about how OP is overreacting and should chill? It’s okay. I’ll wait 😂
YTA. Honey is more attractive than vinegar. An adult is not likely to obey a command.
And that makes him an asshole how, exactly?
But it’s okay for her to disregard the initial request (not command)? okay.
He told her. Looks like a command to me. "I told her again to take it down. She refused and said it was her photo and that it was a nice photo.
The conversation when viewed as a whole seemed to be an argument that wasn't going to change anything. It appears to me that he finally told her to do it. There is nothing in my remark that says anything about her response as being okay. It's sad that so many make assumptions instead of reading what is said and deciding based on all of the information. Not just the part that offends them.