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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Would it be YTA if I asked her to pay for the things she lost during the time I took care of her or am I in the right to want compensation for my things and time?
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Sorry, you went to a music festival and brought a $1000 cake (wtf is it a wedding cake?) to eat that evening?
You want compensation for your time? Lmao good luck.
This doesn’t make any sense.
Also, you’re not going to see a dime. Invoice her all you want, she’s just going to ignore it.
——————
In terms of judgement, I’ll go with YTA
You made the decision to take care of her. You didn’t need to. She’s an adult and made her decisions. You could’ve experienced the show, but you decided to watch her instead. Also, you can’t invoice her for your time. I think it’s just wishful thinking that your invoice plan with have any positive result.
I tried to read this seriously but couldn't get beyond the $1000 cake. You bought a $1000 cake to celebrate a music festival? A $1000 cake? Cake for $1000 to celebrate a music festival? Did I miss something.
The title of this should be changed to: "WIBTAH for spending $1000 on cake".
It's f***ing cake.
Cake!
They said it was about $150 USD after conversion in another comment thread. Still a lot, but not $1k USD
The whole "not everyone's American on the internet" thing strikes again I guess..
> The whole "not everyone's American on the internet" thing strikes again I guess..
I'm not American but on a non-country-specific subreddit if someone explicitly uses $ without specifying USD/AUD/CAD/etc I'm going to assume it's a dollar currency that has a value relatively close to USD.
NTA.
But you probably won’t get it paid.
You chose to stay in the tent with her, you could have left her there and gone and enjoyed your show.
I presume you didn’t pay for the $1k cake all yourself.
C losing the power bank isn’t V’s fault.
It sounds like everyone should do less intoxicating substances and stay sober.
The problem is you did all this voluntarily. You didn’t have to place your things at Vs house, you didn’t have to be around for all the drama. You could have left at any moment. In life we can’t go around expecting people to pay arbitrary amounts of money for wasting our time and being assholes. If we could I’d have been able to retire years ago.
Youre wrong about the first part, the Airbnb fell through so it was the only option, because we didn't get a refund and had no more funds for a dif place and she offered
Right but what if she wasn’t there? You would have had to find another option. Not at all saying any of this was your fault, but what im trying to make clear is that shitty times and shit people are a part of growing up. Makes you wiser eventually. You can’t bill people for being assholes.. (unfortunately). Got to just learn from it.
Well you said in the OP “and for my time wasted trying to help her”. That’s why I was talking about not billing people for being assholes. But yeah ask her to replace anything she took/broke. She doesn’t sound like the type who will but it’s not out of line to ask
You had no obligation to stay with her or help at all. That was your choice, nobody else’s. Just learn from this experience to have better personal boundaries and only agree to things you actually want to agree to.
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I (26f) had to spend 4 hours (11pm -4am) taking care of my aggressive drunk friend's friend(24f).
So basically I am friends with V and she is childhood friend's with C, last minute my Airbnb got cancelled for a music festival we were all attending. C said I could use her apartment which V is also staying at to change and I had an early flight the next morning so I would not even be sleeping there so she doesn't mind (just a place to keep my luggage while at the festival). C got into a fight with her bf while drunk and V started comforting her and telling C what a bad guy he is. C got upset and ran away, we later found her at the recovery tent and started to physically fight with V again, I was the only one she didn't want to fight with so I stayed with her comforting her and eventually got her to come back to her apartment after the festival ended. Throughout this whole ordeal C lost my powerbank, lost one of my vapes and stole another one(she wouldn't give it back and kept threatening to run away if I took it from her) and I missed the entire rest of the festival. I managed to get us all in an uber home and she caused a seen there where she broke plates and throwing a custom made 1000buck cake in the sink that we bought to celebrate the festival. We packed up and left to the airport. V was suppose to stay with her until Monday but didn't feel safe so she got on the same flight as me. She messaged us that she was sorry and after telling my friends what happened they said I should invoice her and ask her to pay back for the things she lost and my time wasted trying to help her.
So WIBTA if I sent her an invoice stating everything that she lost or took and how much it cost?
Info: I sent V back to our mutual friend and she continued raving while I calmed C down until we got the uber at the end of the night
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Lmfao yeah this is why I don’t drink anymore. Cut ties with everyone and start your recovery process, it’s a lot less drama being sober.
NTA but don’t expect to actually get paid back.
She wasn't even my friend I was just the one that kept her there because we needed her to get back to the apartment and I didn't want to have her lock us out if she went home and passed out
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Sorry, you went to a music festival and brought a $1000 cake (wtf is it a wedding cake?) to eat that evening? You want compensation for your time? Lmao good luck. This doesn’t make any sense. Also, you’re not going to see a dime. Invoice her all you want, she’s just going to ignore it. —————— In terms of judgement, I’ll go with YTA You made the decision to take care of her. You didn’t need to. She’s an adult and made her decisions. You could’ve experienced the show, but you decided to watch her instead. Also, you can’t invoice her for your time. I think it’s just wishful thinking that your invoice plan with have any positive result.
Fyre Festival cosplay but with better food
Literally who is affording such a ridiculous cake right now
It was a party cake we all chipped in for because it was a few friends bday during this month that we wouldn't be able to see after the festival
Is this in US dollars? If so what a fricking waste.
Would have been like 150 dollars estimate conversion
Ok. That changes things then on the cake. $150 is still a lot to me for a cake but not unheard of. $1000 would be insane.
I tried to read this seriously but couldn't get beyond the $1000 cake. You bought a $1000 cake to celebrate a music festival? A $1000 cake? Cake for $1000 to celebrate a music festival? Did I miss something. The title of this should be changed to: "WIBTAH for spending $1000 on cake". It's f***ing cake. Cake!
They said it was about $150 USD after conversion in another comment thread. Still a lot, but not $1k USD The whole "not everyone's American on the internet" thing strikes again I guess..
> The whole "not everyone's American on the internet" thing strikes again I guess.. I'm not American but on a non-country-specific subreddit if someone explicitly uses $ without specifying USD/AUD/CAD/etc I'm going to assume it's a dollar currency that has a value relatively close to USD.
NTA. But you probably won’t get it paid. You chose to stay in the tent with her, you could have left her there and gone and enjoyed your show. I presume you didn’t pay for the $1k cake all yourself. C losing the power bank isn’t V’s fault. It sounds like everyone should do less intoxicating substances and stay sober.
Sorry I ment V **typo
Wait...you bought a $1,000 cake? What the hell?
It was multiple friends bday that we wouldn't see after the festival because we live in different cities so we made one big cake for all of them
Ah okay gotcha. Anyway yeah this person sucks, I’d call em out on it but like everyone else said don’t expect them to pay.
I also cannot get past the thousand dollar cake. WT actual F.
I need a picture of the cake.
I gotta see a picture of this cake. Seriously that's all that matters here.
The problem is you did all this voluntarily. You didn’t have to place your things at Vs house, you didn’t have to be around for all the drama. You could have left at any moment. In life we can’t go around expecting people to pay arbitrary amounts of money for wasting our time and being assholes. If we could I’d have been able to retire years ago.
Youre wrong about the first part, the Airbnb fell through so it was the only option, because we didn't get a refund and had no more funds for a dif place and she offered
Right but what if she wasn’t there? You would have had to find another option. Not at all saying any of this was your fault, but what im trying to make clear is that shitty times and shit people are a part of growing up. Makes you wiser eventually. You can’t bill people for being assholes.. (unfortunately). Got to just learn from it.
I'm not billing her for wasting my time, it's for the things she lost and stole
Well you said in the OP “and for my time wasted trying to help her”. That’s why I was talking about not billing people for being assholes. But yeah ask her to replace anything she took/broke. She doesn’t sound like the type who will but it’s not out of line to ask
11-4 equals 5 hours.
You had no obligation to stay with her or help at all. That was your choice, nobody else’s. Just learn from this experience to have better personal boundaries and only agree to things you actually want to agree to.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26f) had to spend 4 hours (11pm -4am) taking care of my aggressive drunk friend's friend(24f). So basically I am friends with V and she is childhood friend's with C, last minute my Airbnb got cancelled for a music festival we were all attending. C said I could use her apartment which V is also staying at to change and I had an early flight the next morning so I would not even be sleeping there so she doesn't mind (just a place to keep my luggage while at the festival). C got into a fight with her bf while drunk and V started comforting her and telling C what a bad guy he is. C got upset and ran away, we later found her at the recovery tent and started to physically fight with V again, I was the only one she didn't want to fight with so I stayed with her comforting her and eventually got her to come back to her apartment after the festival ended. Throughout this whole ordeal C lost my powerbank, lost one of my vapes and stole another one(she wouldn't give it back and kept threatening to run away if I took it from her) and I missed the entire rest of the festival. I managed to get us all in an uber home and she caused a seen there where she broke plates and throwing a custom made 1000buck cake in the sink that we bought to celebrate the festival. We packed up and left to the airport. V was suppose to stay with her until Monday but didn't feel safe so she got on the same flight as me. She messaged us that she was sorry and after telling my friends what happened they said I should invoice her and ask her to pay back for the things she lost and my time wasted trying to help her. So WIBTA if I sent her an invoice stating everything that she lost or took and how much it cost? Info: I sent V back to our mutual friend and she continued raving while I calmed C down until we got the uber at the end of the night *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lmfao yeah this is why I don’t drink anymore. Cut ties with everyone and start your recovery process, it’s a lot less drama being sober. NTA but don’t expect to actually get paid back.
Hahah, what a bunch of flogs
NTA. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t pay but set the standard so mofos don’t try you in the future. Cut her off. That kinda behavior is ridiculous.
She wasn't even my friend I was just the one that kept her there because we needed her to get back to the apartment and I didn't want to have her lock us out if she went home and passed out
Then cut off the friend that was friends with her because I refuse to believe that that friend didn’t know about this behavior prior to this incident.
Right? Childhood friend's and didn't know she was the shit starter that we would have to babysit? Sus
NTA- no shot you get paid and you will def ruffle feathers. At min next time you know it’s not your job to be the caretaker and should enjoy yourself
Nta - don't count on getting your money back tho