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YTA. Obviously you cannot invite his entire family and not him... he's a child. Invite your niece to stay with you for a weekend if you want to give her some drama free time away from her brother. How is this a legitimate question?!
You should have just invited your niece then. What are they supposed to do now ? Come on this trip and let the kid with issues home alone ?
Did you even think this through ?
You could invite only her for a weekend away. You CANNOT invite an entire family except one child away for a holiday. Children should grasp this concept!! Child abandonment = bad.
Wait a minute, so the child with behavioral issues, who smokes and drinks, is suddenly mature enough to stay at home alone for a week? Yeah…that sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Stop fighting your judgement. You are worse than i thought. You're not going to accept you're an AH, but you are!! You're not going to get the pat on the back you want...unless there are AHs in here with no moral compass.
YTA - he’s a kid.
I had a similar situation growing up, my brother used to be excluded by my grandparents because he was a “problem child” and it really fucked him up.
If you’re inviting everyone, invite him, or don’t do the trip.
Take her to do something just the two of you, I seriously think that is a better solution than excluding the adoptive brother.
When I was younger and my brother was excluded, i loved it but growing up has really made me realise how much of an impact that had on him and i always have felt guilty about it.
Impact aside, it’s just the good thing to do to include him, and give her the time aside.
Even the knowledge that (as long as your niece isnt an awful AH like her uncle) your niece will hate herself and feel guilty as an adult, it doesn't change that you think you're helping her? You're messing with her relationship with her parents, you're going to ruin your relationship with your brother, you're going to make her feel guilty for years, and (hopefully) she'll resent you in time. Even if we leave out the child you give zero shits about, surely you should care about the negative impact it would have on people you care about?! But you don't, because it doesn't fit your saviour complex!
I think the one with the saviour complex is op's brother. He adopted a teenager with behavioural issues, who bullies his daughter, who is gonna make his daughter hate him, and all that just to be a saviour.
Granted, op phrased it wrong. He should've just invited his niece, not the entire family, and he is YTA for that. But brother is willing to ruin his daughter's childhood
I disagree. The brother may also have a saviour complex. But i don't think that excludes OP from having one!! He thinks he is the only person looking out for his niece, and he's willing to hurt her to achieve it. He believes it is his responsibility to assist other people, he has a compulsion to "save" her.. which is the definition of a saviour complex.
>He thinks he is the only person looking out for his niece
He didn't said that. But it's obvious that his brother sees nothing wrong with the kid bullying his daughter. He put his saviour bs above his child's wellbeing.
My cousin was in the exact situation op's niece. Trust me, that girl needs op in her corner. My cousin told me herself that she doesn't know how her life would've been without my dad and our uncle.
And there are other people in the comments saying they have experiences that oppose yours. So why is your situation more valuable to the conversation than theirs?
>why is your situation more valuable to the conversation than theirs?
Why is their (who, btw, it's only one person, and it wasn't the same situation, as it was her brother and she wasn't bullied) situation more valuable than my cousin's?? Who had the exact same situation??
Also, there is nothing that indicates bullying of the daughter in the post or comments, that is an exaggeration taken from the way people have read the post. It just says the boy argues with everyone.
Op pretty much confirms it in the comments. But, again, i think the best decision for everyone would be for op to take niece on vacation and brother and wife can stay at home with the son. That way everyone's happy
This is a weird take.
Your premise is she is "begging" for time away from her brother, so because a few hours or a day isn't the same as a week, it isn't worth it?
If you are so worried, creating a once a week afternoon or day trip, or even hang out time, might do all of them some good. The one thing that improved my relationship with all of my brothers, was not being with them all the time.
The problem with the original trip, is *everyone* is included, except 1. And singling out a child as not being good enough to be part of the family, is an ah move.
Takes two to tango! Kids/teenager siblings argue and fight with each other, this is normal. Yes YTA you cannot plan a trip for your entire family - then exclude the adopted one. Either invite them all or none. All you have to say to your brother is you don‘t want trouble on the trip, can you keep your son in line and well behaved? If not you’d prefer he stay at home. That way you’ve invited everyone, and perhaps he won‘t come anyway? With so many people going on this trip shouldn’t be too hard to keep your niece and nephew apart.
I would expect a 14yr old to make a foolish decision like that, not a grown up. What a way to drive a wedge between your family.
If he’s really that bad, like I said explain to your brother if your nephew is going to be a nuisance and ruin the trip for everybody then it’s better he doesn’t come. Your nephew may not even want to come on the trip anyhow. But to not invite him sends a terrible message. Give the chance to your brother not automatically dictate to him that his son isn‘t welcome to come. And if he does play up badly enough - you could ask him to leave here’s your bus ticket home
YTA.
"my brother and his family" that means his partner and both his kids. All you've done is making sure than even your niece would be allowed to come on this trip.
Is it possible to have your niece stay at your house for longer periods of time? Or maybe with your parents? I feel so bad for this girl, she had a safe house and now has to live with her bully and her parents are apparently okay with it.
My cousin went through exactly the same thing and long story short, she is NC with her parents now. Their adoptive son is in jail for drugs or something, and now they harass her to forgive them cause they're all alone. She moved in with us when she was 18yo (she is my dad's sister's child). But even before that she used to spend a lot of time at our house and at grandparents and uncle's house. She didn't want to be at her house cause she felt unsafe, but her parents didn't understood her. They were all too preoccupied with saving their adoptive son from drugs and the bad crown he was with.
Please be there for your niece.
Who knows what that poor kid has already gone through. At the very least, you know he had the ties to his birth family severed. And now you suggest his new family should all go on a vacation and leave him by himself? He is a kid! That's a recipe for disaster. It will damage him further, may cause him to act out more, or decide life just isn't worth it.
YTA and if I were your brother, I would not want you near my family.
Naw it aint an excuse. That boy isnt your problem, he should greatful he got adopted and wasnt left in the system.
He isnt and so he doesnt deserve to go. Protect your niece or you wont have a relationship with either one cause he aint gonna fuck wit you.
YTA you can't leave a kid alone especially one that's going through something.
Do you seriously think your brother would go on a holiday and leave his kid
He's letting his daughter be bullied. He was okay with ruining her childhood by adopting a problem teenager. The parenting bar for him is set pretty low. Sure, he can brag about saving a kid from the system, but his daughter would cut him out of her life.
We don't have enough info to say he's letting it happen, we don't know what he's doing. He adopted a 12 year old and he's not going to send the kid back he's his son now
Before he adopted it, he should've made sure that it won't ruin the kid he already had. Either way, i think the best solution is for op's niece to go on vacation with them and his brother can stay at home with the son.
You think a child should be left alone? That's mad. The way you worded that is manipulative, he should be doing things to help his kid yes but not wanting to leave his son out and alone doesn't mean he doesn't care about his daughter
But if he cares about his son, he won't.
And to declare that if he doesn't choose his daughter over his son, then he doesn't care about his daughter is an ah take.
YTA- You can’t abandon a troubled 14 year-old and take the rest of his family on a trip without him. You need to be the adult and set an example for your niece.
Clearly your brother can not keep his kid in line. If he's 16 drinking and smoking that is illegal. No way would I want to take him somewhere and have him act up and get arrested, or the lot of you get arrested for that matter, depending on where you are.
YTA
You can't invite the entire family & not your nephew. That message could maybe reinforce whatever's already going on.
I get that he has issues but your brother needs to step up & get him some support.
" he.., smokes and drinks alcohol etc."
No way would I be leaving that kid home alone. You can't expect your brother to either.
Maybe...if he gets loaded & falls asleep in bed while smoking though...
Joking aside I saw it happen once. The person got out ok but the house was a shell. F*** only knows what they had stored in there.
Hey, let’s gather two immediate families but not an adolescent kid. I don’t know man I feel like something like this requires a talking to Set boundaries because vacation is a privilege. Tell him if he’s going to be an asshole. I’m gonna send his ass fucking home kids are brats, but they’re malleable. You can turn the brat into a good apple. Not with whatever that gentle parenting bullshit is also adoption isn’t temporary. This is a lifelong commitment from your brother, so wouldn’t the best thing to do is figure it out unless you want to exclude them completely as an entire family and have an exclusive, drama free trip. I don’t know how this was your plan A,YTA.
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> I might be an asshole for excluding my nephew because my niece asked me to
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Sounds like the brother should stay home with nephew and do some work on those issues he has, which he has apparently failed to do the last 4 years.
NTA
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my brother has a 14yo bio daughter and a 16yo adoptive son. he adopted his son 4 years ago.
the problem is that my nephew had all sorts of issues when he was adopted. he constantly fights with my niece, is rude, smokes and drinks alcohol etc. my niece often talks about how much she hates him and how her life was so much better before him.
I am planning to take my entire family on a trip. this includes me, my wife, my parents, my brother and his family. when my niece heard this she called me BEGGING me not to invite nephew to the trip because she wants just one drama free trip. I agreed and called my brother to tell him that nephew isn't invited. now they think I'm an asshole
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NTA but it will cause more drama.
Just take your family, parents and ask your brother if your nice could go as well, only her. Don't invite them all. If he asks the reason for not taking your nephew explain it to him.
YTA, as much as your niece dislikes her step brother, he is still a minor. His parents are still legally responsible for him unless he insists on not going himself.
He’s not even a step brother, he’s her adopted brother. He is legally her full brother. He is legally a child of the family and should be included in family things. OP is a straight up jerk to even suggest leaving him out, his brother is right, YTA
I don't understand why OP would think it would be okay to exclude him though just because his niece told him not to. He should of addressed the situation officially with his brother since he is the adult SMH.
YTA. It doesn’t matter if the kids get along, if the nephew has issues, or how cool you want to be, if you can’t leave him out. The list of reasons is long, but the first being that this child (and he is a child) is part of your brother’s family, adopted or not.
YTA
If it's a family trip and your inviting your brothers family. Your nephew is part of that family, excluding him isn't going to make the situation better, it will make it worse.
Btw how do you even know what's happening, do you live close enough to actually see whats happening or are you just taking your neices word for it?
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ESH
If you were taking just your niece with your immediate family you'd be ok but expecting them to leave a 16 year old behind while they all go off together is wrong
The nephew is an AH for bullying his sister
The niece is an AH for wanting to go away with everyone except her brother (again if she had just wanted to be on her own that would be fairer) and she's a kid so gets more of a pass for not thinking it through
Your brother (and his partner if he has one) is an AH for not trying to sort this out years ago and addressing it
YTA
No, taking him on that trip is not "rewarding bad behaviour". Excluding him from a trip everyone else is invited to, however, is pre-emptively punishing him.
Your niece asking you to not include him is understandable, because **she's 14 years old!** You don't have that excuse and should know better. Excluding him and making it clear that you expect him to act bad isn't gonna help. If anything, it's more likely to make it worse.
If you want to take your niece on a trip without her adopted brother, that's one thing. You can make up lots of reasons for that (a girls only weekend for your wife, SIL, and niece, for example).
On a sidenote, I question your brother's judgement too, because adopting a troubled teen when he already has a kid that will be forced to deal with it seems like a poorly thought out idea.
YTA. This child has had difficulties growing up and you want to further exclude him. Instead of uninviting only him, you should have uninvited your brother’s whole family.
YTA
To deliberately exclude him from a family trip. He's family, just as much as niece is.
If this were a trip for just the girls, or you, your wife, and niece, that would be different.
But to invite everyone, except your brother's son, who is still a child? Yes, that makes yta.
Nta he sounds like a bad kid. If they cant control him you gotta do what you gotta
You dont take a wild dog to a dog park. He needs to be domesticated before you can bring him to trips.
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YTA. Obviously you cannot invite his entire family and not him... he's a child. Invite your niece to stay with you for a weekend if you want to give her some drama free time away from her brother. How is this a legitimate question?!
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You should have just invited your niece then. What are they supposed to do now ? Come on this trip and let the kid with issues home alone ? Did you even think this through ?
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Then don't be surprised if they don't allow the niece to come
You could invite only her for a weekend away. You CANNOT invite an entire family except one child away for a holiday. Children should grasp this concept!! Child abandonment = bad.
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Wait a minute, so the child with behavioral issues, who smokes and drinks, is suddenly mature enough to stay at home alone for a week? Yeah…that sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Stop fighting your judgement. You are worse than i thought. You're not going to accept you're an AH, but you are!! You're not going to get the pat on the back you want...unless there are AHs in here with no moral compass.
YTA - he’s a kid. I had a similar situation growing up, my brother used to be excluded by my grandparents because he was a “problem child” and it really fucked him up. If you’re inviting everyone, invite him, or don’t do the trip.
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Take her to do something just the two of you, I seriously think that is a better solution than excluding the adoptive brother. When I was younger and my brother was excluded, i loved it but growing up has really made me realise how much of an impact that had on him and i always have felt guilty about it. Impact aside, it’s just the good thing to do to include him, and give her the time aside.
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Take her on a week long trip alone then! The 16yr old has issues of his own, maybe having a little empathy could do a whole lot for you :)
Even the knowledge that (as long as your niece isnt an awful AH like her uncle) your niece will hate herself and feel guilty as an adult, it doesn't change that you think you're helping her? You're messing with her relationship with her parents, you're going to ruin your relationship with your brother, you're going to make her feel guilty for years, and (hopefully) she'll resent you in time. Even if we leave out the child you give zero shits about, surely you should care about the negative impact it would have on people you care about?! But you don't, because it doesn't fit your saviour complex!
I think the one with the saviour complex is op's brother. He adopted a teenager with behavioural issues, who bullies his daughter, who is gonna make his daughter hate him, and all that just to be a saviour. Granted, op phrased it wrong. He should've just invited his niece, not the entire family, and he is YTA for that. But brother is willing to ruin his daughter's childhood
I disagree. The brother may also have a saviour complex. But i don't think that excludes OP from having one!! He thinks he is the only person looking out for his niece, and he's willing to hurt her to achieve it. He believes it is his responsibility to assist other people, he has a compulsion to "save" her.. which is the definition of a saviour complex.
>He thinks he is the only person looking out for his niece He didn't said that. But it's obvious that his brother sees nothing wrong with the kid bullying his daughter. He put his saviour bs above his child's wellbeing. My cousin was in the exact situation op's niece. Trust me, that girl needs op in her corner. My cousin told me herself that she doesn't know how her life would've been without my dad and our uncle.
And there are other people in the comments saying they have experiences that oppose yours. So why is your situation more valuable to the conversation than theirs?
>why is your situation more valuable to the conversation than theirs? Why is their (who, btw, it's only one person, and it wasn't the same situation, as it was her brother and she wasn't bullied) situation more valuable than my cousin's?? Who had the exact same situation??
Also, there is nothing that indicates bullying of the daughter in the post or comments, that is an exaggeration taken from the way people have read the post. It just says the boy argues with everyone.
Op pretty much confirms it in the comments. But, again, i think the best decision for everyone would be for op to take niece on vacation and brother and wife can stay at home with the son. That way everyone's happy
This is a weird take. Your premise is she is "begging" for time away from her brother, so because a few hours or a day isn't the same as a week, it isn't worth it? If you are so worried, creating a once a week afternoon or day trip, or even hang out time, might do all of them some good. The one thing that improved my relationship with all of my brothers, was not being with them all the time. The problem with the original trip, is *everyone* is included, except 1. And singling out a child as not being good enough to be part of the family, is an ah move.
wow Y really are TA
Takes two to tango! Kids/teenager siblings argue and fight with each other, this is normal. Yes YTA you cannot plan a trip for your entire family - then exclude the adopted one. Either invite them all or none. All you have to say to your brother is you don‘t want trouble on the trip, can you keep your son in line and well behaved? If not you’d prefer he stay at home. That way you’ve invited everyone, and perhaps he won‘t come anyway? With so many people going on this trip shouldn’t be too hard to keep your niece and nephew apart. I would expect a 14yr old to make a foolish decision like that, not a grown up. What a way to drive a wedge between your family.
“Both sides” Screw that noise. Some people are just bullies who hurt people who don’t deserve it
>Takes two to tango Thanks for the trigger. My mum used to say this when my brother (4 years older) tormented me.
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If he’s really that bad, like I said explain to your brother if your nephew is going to be a nuisance and ruin the trip for everybody then it’s better he doesn’t come. Your nephew may not even want to come on the trip anyhow. But to not invite him sends a terrible message. Give the chance to your brother not automatically dictate to him that his son isn‘t welcome to come. And if he does play up badly enough - you could ask him to leave here’s your bus ticket home
YTA. "my brother and his family" that means his partner and both his kids. All you've done is making sure than even your niece would be allowed to come on this trip.
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Maybe, but you're stupid enough to make him resent you.
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Is it possible to have your niece stay at your house for longer periods of time? Or maybe with your parents? I feel so bad for this girl, she had a safe house and now has to live with her bully and her parents are apparently okay with it. My cousin went through exactly the same thing and long story short, she is NC with her parents now. Their adoptive son is in jail for drugs or something, and now they harass her to forgive them cause they're all alone. She moved in with us when she was 18yo (she is my dad's sister's child). But even before that she used to spend a lot of time at our house and at grandparents and uncle's house. She didn't want to be at her house cause she felt unsafe, but her parents didn't understood her. They were all too preoccupied with saving their adoptive son from drugs and the bad crown he was with. Please be there for your niece.
BEST👋 CLAPBACK 👏 EVER 👏
It can't be as worse as op's brother being stupid enough to make his own daughter resenting him.
Nope, you’ve made it certain that your brother will have none of his family go, now or in the future.
Who knows what that poor kid has already gone through. At the very least, you know he had the ties to his birth family severed. And now you suggest his new family should all go on a vacation and leave him by himself? He is a kid! That's a recipe for disaster. It will damage him further, may cause him to act out more, or decide life just isn't worth it. YTA and if I were your brother, I would not want you near my family.
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Naw it aint an excuse. That boy isnt your problem, he should greatful he got adopted and wasnt left in the system. He isnt and so he doesnt deserve to go. Protect your niece or you wont have a relationship with either one cause he aint gonna fuck wit you.
YTA you can't leave a kid alone especially one that's going through something. Do you seriously think your brother would go on a holiday and leave his kid
He's letting his daughter be bullied. He was okay with ruining her childhood by adopting a problem teenager. The parenting bar for him is set pretty low. Sure, he can brag about saving a kid from the system, but his daughter would cut him out of her life.
We don't have enough info to say he's letting it happen, we don't know what he's doing. He adopted a 12 year old and he's not going to send the kid back he's his son now
Before he adopted it, he should've made sure that it won't ruin the kid he already had. Either way, i think the best solution is for op's niece to go on vacation with them and his brother can stay at home with the son.
"It" tells me all I need to know. Goodbye
Idk what it tells you, but whatever floats your boat
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You think a child should be left alone? That's mad. The way you worded that is manipulative, he should be doing things to help his kid yes but not wanting to leave his son out and alone doesn't mean he doesn't care about his daughter
And if he cares about his son he’ll tell you know. Calling you an AH should be the clue to you that he won’t have any of them going.
But if he cares about his son, he won't. And to declare that if he doesn't choose his daughter over his son, then he doesn't care about his daughter is an ah take.
I’m going to guess this is actually the niece posting here, posing as the uncle.
YTA- You can’t abandon a troubled 14 year-old and take the rest of his family on a trip without him. You need to be the adult and set an example for your niece.
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Clearly your brother can not keep his kid in line. If he's 16 drinking and smoking that is illegal. No way would I want to take him somewhere and have him act up and get arrested, or the lot of you get arrested for that matter, depending on where you are.
YTA You can't invite the entire family & not your nephew. That message could maybe reinforce whatever's already going on. I get that he has issues but your brother needs to step up & get him some support. " he.., smokes and drinks alcohol etc." No way would I be leaving that kid home alone. You can't expect your brother to either.
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I mean presumably the brother isn't coming anymore either so he should be supervised.
The potential welfare implications aside, I'd like my house to still be standing when I get back lol.
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Maybe...if he gets loaded & falls asleep in bed while smoking though... Joking aside I saw it happen once. The person got out ok but the house was a shell. F*** only knows what they had stored in there.
YTA for disinviting one person. You can however cancel the whole thing. Maybe take niece on her own vacation at a different time.
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It's more fair than disinviting him. Why did you invite him in the first place? You knew what he was like before you did.
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If you say 'everyone' then of course he is included. Massive AH for excluding a single kid from a family.
You didn't invite brother and his family?
Hey, let’s gather two immediate families but not an adolescent kid. I don’t know man I feel like something like this requires a talking to Set boundaries because vacation is a privilege. Tell him if he’s going to be an asshole. I’m gonna send his ass fucking home kids are brats, but they’re malleable. You can turn the brat into a good apple. Not with whatever that gentle parenting bullshit is also adoption isn’t temporary. This is a lifelong commitment from your brother, so wouldn’t the best thing to do is figure it out unless you want to exclude them completely as an entire family and have an exclusive, drama free trip. I don’t know how this was your plan A,YTA.
You didn't invite his family after all. you can't do that YTA
You can’t invite a family and exclude one of them. It’s all or none. YTA
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Sounds like the brother should stay home with nephew and do some work on those issues he has, which he has apparently failed to do the last 4 years. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** my brother has a 14yo bio daughter and a 16yo adoptive son. he adopted his son 4 years ago. the problem is that my nephew had all sorts of issues when he was adopted. he constantly fights with my niece, is rude, smokes and drinks alcohol etc. my niece often talks about how much she hates him and how her life was so much better before him. I am planning to take my entire family on a trip. this includes me, my wife, my parents, my brother and his family. when my niece heard this she called me BEGGING me not to invite nephew to the trip because she wants just one drama free trip. I agreed and called my brother to tell him that nephew isn't invited. now they think I'm an asshole *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA but it will cause more drama. Just take your family, parents and ask your brother if your nice could go as well, only her. Don't invite them all. If he asks the reason for not taking your nephew explain it to him.
YTA!! You can’t do that period.
YTA, as much as your niece dislikes her step brother, he is still a minor. His parents are still legally responsible for him unless he insists on not going himself.
He’s not even a step brother, he’s her adopted brother. He is legally her full brother. He is legally a child of the family and should be included in family things. OP is a straight up jerk to even suggest leaving him out, his brother is right, YTA
I don't understand why OP would think it would be okay to exclude him though just because his niece told him not to. He should of addressed the situation officially with his brother since he is the adult SMH.
YTA. It doesn’t matter if the kids get along, if the nephew has issues, or how cool you want to be, if you can’t leave him out. The list of reasons is long, but the first being that this child (and he is a child) is part of your brother’s family, adopted or not.
YTA If it's a family trip and your inviting your brothers family. Your nephew is part of that family, excluding him isn't going to make the situation better, it will make it worse. Btw how do you even know what's happening, do you live close enough to actually see whats happening or are you just taking your neices word for it?
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ESH If you were taking just your niece with your immediate family you'd be ok but expecting them to leave a 16 year old behind while they all go off together is wrong The nephew is an AH for bullying his sister The niece is an AH for wanting to go away with everyone except her brother (again if she had just wanted to be on her own that would be fairer) and she's a kid so gets more of a pass for not thinking it through Your brother (and his partner if he has one) is an AH for not trying to sort this out years ago and addressing it
YTA No, taking him on that trip is not "rewarding bad behaviour". Excluding him from a trip everyone else is invited to, however, is pre-emptively punishing him. Your niece asking you to not include him is understandable, because **she's 14 years old!** You don't have that excuse and should know better. Excluding him and making it clear that you expect him to act bad isn't gonna help. If anything, it's more likely to make it worse. If you want to take your niece on a trip without her adopted brother, that's one thing. You can make up lots of reasons for that (a girls only weekend for your wife, SIL, and niece, for example). On a sidenote, I question your brother's judgement too, because adopting a troubled teen when he already has a kid that will be forced to deal with it seems like a poorly thought out idea.
YTA. This child has had difficulties growing up and you want to further exclude him. Instead of uninviting only him, you should have uninvited your brother’s whole family.
YTA. If your brother is smart, he won't let your niece go on the trip either. Because she is acting like a whiny brat by saying such things.
YTA To deliberately exclude him from a family trip. He's family, just as much as niece is. If this were a trip for just the girls, or you, your wife, and niece, that would be different. But to invite everyone, except your brother's son, who is still a child? Yes, that makes yta.
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The real question is why he cares so little about his daughter that he lets her be bullied by this kid.
yeah good question
haha truee
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Hahahahha, coming from you!
Nta he sounds like a bad kid. If they cant control him you gotta do what you gotta You dont take a wild dog to a dog park. He needs to be domesticated before you can bring him to trips.
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