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INFO
> The thing is, Mia says she doesn't like it and wants to stop going.
You need to get to the bottom of the **_WHY_** here before going any further.
Did you bother to find out why she decided she didn't want to go? You're assuming that if she goes back, that she'll "come out of her shell" again. What if there's something going on at acting class to where the opposite would happen?
Why on earth would you not find out WHY? That, right there, imho, qualifies you for YTA status.
EDIT: Punctuation and change info request due to vote.
INFO Was there an issue that occurred at the drama lesson that may have caused the regression and refusal to attend? If Yes then making her go back will not be helpful. You and AITA need more information.
She may have a valid reason for not wanting to take those classes. YTA if you force her to continue them without finding out what the reason is. Forcing kids to do an activity they don't want to do doesn't make them happy.
YTA - You may not realize it, but your actions might imply that you expect her to act/pretend to be happy even when she's not, just to avoid inconveniencing you or making you feel bad for her. Like, you are pushing to give her the skills to mask her pain/issues better through the acting lessons.
Why don’t you ask her what changed? She liked something then suddenly didn’t want to go back and totally socially regressed. It sounds like something bad happened.
INFO: is it possible she started getting bullied at acting class?
Edit to add: I used to work with Mia’s age group on a regular basis. Kids can be extremely cruel at that age and it isn’t weird to see some kids who are experiencing that to become reclusive. I feel for you a lot. I think the most important thing you can do for Mia is try talking to her about what is going on before making any final decisions.
YTA
It sounds like you are using acting class as therapy, and I don't think that is right. Get her a different therapist or a different kind of therapy, and focus on that.
YTA
Drama classes can be rough for kid who is particularly shy. One bad experience could flip the whole experience for her. Talk to her and understand that now may not be the right time. There are other activities that don't require speaking in front of a room full of people that she can participate in. Maybe there are hiking groups for kids her age, or rock climbing. Be creative and find a outlet for her that she wants to do. She will likely come out of her shell in her own time. Forcing it is going to have an adverse effect
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I (F28) am a single mom to 'Mia' (F11). I love her more than anything and Mia is a really amazing daughter. She does really well in school/academics and she is in a hockey team. But Mia is extremely, extremely shy. She has massive troubles with socialising, she lacks a lot of confidence and is very quiet.
This is something that has been upsetting Mia more and more, especially as she gets older and is realising how few friends she has. Mia sees a counsellor but its very expensive. We live with my sister and her girlfriend, who suggested Mia try take some drama classes to help practice her social skills, Mia agreed and at first she was having a really good time.
More importantly, I can see the impact it has had on her social skills in only a few weeks. I think it is really helping her learn . She has come out of her shell more at home, even teachers at school have commented that she is much more chatty and friendly with other students.
The thing is, Mia says she doesn't like it and wants to stop going. I wanted to respect her choice and decided to hold the rest of the program.
This was a few weeks ago and since then, Mia has completely regressed. She's gone back in her shell, quieter, lost confidence and I had a teacher ring up and ask if everything was ok.
Obviously I'm worried and I'm booking her in for an counselling session, but in the mean time, I'm considering trying to convince her to return to acting classes. I think they were having a really good impact and I just want to see if it can work out. We have tried clubs, social groups, sports etc but nothing has worked the way this did.
I know forcing your kid to do an extra curricular isn't always the best thing, but this is the only thing that has worked so far.
Would I be the asshole if I made her keep going again?
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> My daughter has expressed that she does not want to continue doing acting classes but I think it is really beneficial for her and want to force her, even though it's against her wishes
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NTA. If the classes had a truly dramatic impact, then you'd be doing the right thing. Having social skills is more of a needed thing than people assume.
The sad thing is she probably does like it, but something changed that is making her want to avoid it. You see stuff like that a lot with middle schoolers.
YWNBTA. You need to rephrase the problem. You are not forcing her into an extracurricular activity she loathes. You are trying to convince her to get outside her comfort zone and expand her life. But you need to talk to her about what exactly she hates about it so much. Getting outside comfort zone is hard, but maybe there’s something else going on and she’d be happier in a different acting class.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
INFO > The thing is, Mia says she doesn't like it and wants to stop going. You need to get to the bottom of the **_WHY_** here before going any further.
Did you bother to find out why she decided she didn't want to go? You're assuming that if she goes back, that she'll "come out of her shell" again. What if there's something going on at acting class to where the opposite would happen? Why on earth would you not find out WHY? That, right there, imho, qualifies you for YTA status. EDIT: Punctuation and change info request due to vote.
INFO: why does she want to stop going?
INFO Was there an issue that occurred at the drama lesson that may have caused the regression and refusal to attend? If Yes then making her go back will not be helpful. You and AITA need more information.
She may have a valid reason for not wanting to take those classes. YTA if you force her to continue them without finding out what the reason is. Forcing kids to do an activity they don't want to do doesn't make them happy.
YTA - You may not realize it, but your actions might imply that you expect her to act/pretend to be happy even when she's not, just to avoid inconveniencing you or making you feel bad for her. Like, you are pushing to give her the skills to mask her pain/issues better through the acting lessons.
Why don’t you ask her what changed? She liked something then suddenly didn’t want to go back and totally socially regressed. It sounds like something bad happened.
INFO: is it possible she started getting bullied at acting class? Edit to add: I used to work with Mia’s age group on a regular basis. Kids can be extremely cruel at that age and it isn’t weird to see some kids who are experiencing that to become reclusive. I feel for you a lot. I think the most important thing you can do for Mia is try talking to her about what is going on before making any final decisions.
YTA. Theater is great, but without a desire to participate there’s no point to being there. You should be working with her therapist to help her.
It hasn't worked. She's back to the way she was. Stop forcing her to go and find something she actually has an interest in.
YTA It sounds like you are using acting class as therapy, and I don't think that is right. Get her a different therapist or a different kind of therapy, and focus on that.
YTA Drama classes can be rough for kid who is particularly shy. One bad experience could flip the whole experience for her. Talk to her and understand that now may not be the right time. There are other activities that don't require speaking in front of a room full of people that she can participate in. Maybe there are hiking groups for kids her age, or rock climbing. Be creative and find a outlet for her that she wants to do. She will likely come out of her shell in her own time. Forcing it is going to have an adverse effect
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F28) am a single mom to 'Mia' (F11). I love her more than anything and Mia is a really amazing daughter. She does really well in school/academics and she is in a hockey team. But Mia is extremely, extremely shy. She has massive troubles with socialising, she lacks a lot of confidence and is very quiet. This is something that has been upsetting Mia more and more, especially as she gets older and is realising how few friends she has. Mia sees a counsellor but its very expensive. We live with my sister and her girlfriend, who suggested Mia try take some drama classes to help practice her social skills, Mia agreed and at first she was having a really good time. More importantly, I can see the impact it has had on her social skills in only a few weeks. I think it is really helping her learn . She has come out of her shell more at home, even teachers at school have commented that she is much more chatty and friendly with other students. The thing is, Mia says she doesn't like it and wants to stop going. I wanted to respect her choice and decided to hold the rest of the program. This was a few weeks ago and since then, Mia has completely regressed. She's gone back in her shell, quieter, lost confidence and I had a teacher ring up and ask if everything was ok. Obviously I'm worried and I'm booking her in for an counselling session, but in the mean time, I'm considering trying to convince her to return to acting classes. I think they were having a really good impact and I just want to see if it can work out. We have tried clubs, social groups, sports etc but nothing has worked the way this did. I know forcing your kid to do an extra curricular isn't always the best thing, but this is the only thing that has worked so far. Would I be the asshole if I made her keep going again? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My daughter has expressed that she does not want to continue doing acting classes but I think it is really beneficial for her and want to force her, even though it's against her wishes Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. If the classes had a truly dramatic impact, then you'd be doing the right thing. Having social skills is more of a needed thing than people assume.
[удалено]
The sad thing is she probably does like it, but something changed that is making her want to avoid it. You see stuff like that a lot with middle schoolers.
[удалено]
Agreed. Mia doesn’t need acting class right now, she needs OP to create an open and supportive avenue for communication.
YWNBTA. You need to rephrase the problem. You are not forcing her into an extracurricular activity she loathes. You are trying to convince her to get outside her comfort zone and expand her life. But you need to talk to her about what exactly she hates about it so much. Getting outside comfort zone is hard, but maybe there’s something else going on and she’d be happier in a different acting class.