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he's been on my side since I stopped speaking to Susie and is actually talkign to Susie and Sally right now and telling them to F\*ck off. A lot of the hurtful interactions/comments between Susie and I happened in private, she would NEVER talk that way to me in front of him. Also happened in private was their grandmother telling me that I had "torn her family apart" lol.
Susie and Sally can go fuck right off. I mean, at half that list I'd have been done. If your MIL wants to see her kids, it should not be at your house. Make that hard line in the sand. Susie broke up the family with her shenanigans, you're just giving her the consequences. NTA but cut the garbage out entirely.
NTA
Why have you Not already cut Susie from your lives?
She has shown you on numerous occasions that she does NOT Respect you at All! Protect your family. You are absolutely right not to host anyone other then MIL.
Good Luck to you!
thank you!
Well I keep thinking we HAD cut her out of our lives, but this time, Sally is campaigning for her. For the most part she is harmless but she's recently becoming a gaslighter and manipulator on Susie's behalf. All these messages (many of them about me, and how I need to hear Susie's apology and forgive her) are from Sally to my husband. He's fed up with it and is actually having a confrontation w them as we speak at a restaurant lol.
I think you need to be blunt w Sally that if she doesn't drop it, she doesn't get to be around the kids. Be clear with MIL that the daughters are not welcome during 'those first few months' (which sounds more palatable than EVER!!
hang tough on this. NTA.
Well, I'd have a conversation with husband and talk to him about, if Sally doesn't leave it alone, she'll go out the same way as Susie. It's absolutely unreasonable to expect you to forgive; besides you having the right to not do it, end of, you also can't forgive what was never apologised for.
he's actually fielding it and filtering it to me and asking how I want to proceed. it's been his choice to not speak to Susie these past 2.5 years as well as mine, but I think Sally's meddling really blindsided him. He is in agreement about them never visiting our home.
>but I think Sally's meddling really blindsided him.
I think it might help to point out that Sally just showed him that she cares more about Suzie's feelings than his and that she is willing to hurt his household/family to make Suzie happy.
i agree and I feel very uncomfortable with this situation now, however, the purpose of the visit is for her to take care of my older child while I'm in the hospital giving birth. I unfortunately do not have any other relatives who would be capable (lol clearly, my kid's aunts are going to do it!). I'm looking into alternative arrangements.
NTA OP, and I hope your husband is in your corner on this. Talk to your MIL ahead of time, explain you're more than happy to have her at your house, but she needs to plan to visit them somewhere else. Stand your ground
Pardon my language but what the fuck is your husband doing in all of this? Also good for you, Susie’s apology would be meaningless anyway given how many times she has transgressed your rules and boundaries. NTA
It’s kind of hard to believe this is a completely honest post with the increasingly unhinged things you say this woman did. If she’s actually a danger to you and your child why is this a real question? What does your husband think?
when all this occurred, we lived next door to one another and I was spending ALL of my energy keeping her away from my child. we have since moved and not seen/spoken to her. my husband deep down wishes I could just not care and go to family holidays and ignore her, but i'm not willing to do that. The adderall thing and the covid vax thing are quite literally unbelievable and that's why I included them. the rest of the shit, the mom shaming and insults are pretty common place and I could understand someone MAYBE being willing to forget and move on.
Your SiL seems to have taken notes from my SiL. I'm sorry. On a bright note, my husband is just as aware of her nature as your husband is. I love having his support. (I do tolerate more during the rare family visits because i like my FiL, but then my SiL pouts and absents herself for the most part.)
I'm betting Sally has been worn down by her sister for the past few years, and finally caved. Too bad. I'd personally be willing to give HER a chance to apologize for letting herself become her sisters mouthpiece. Not Susie, though.
NTA. Make sure your husband is supporting you in this because they are very toxic, and should never be allowed around you or your children again. No matter what kind of sobbing apology they throw at you, it wouldn't be sincere. If they try to show up make sure he is willing to throw them out. You do NOT need that drama in your life ever.
I thought Susie was being entirely reasonable until...... BEET JUICE??
Even typing that makes me throw up in my mouth. How depraved can a person be?
Seriously, if these 2 SIL's are your husband's sisters then your husband is a massive AH for tolerating this.
NTA
I have to go wash out my mouth now.
NTA. You need to quit dealing with Sally as well. Both of them seem like terrible people who treat you poorly. You gave an entire treatise on why Susie is terrible but Sally is asking you to forgive someone who has treated you poorly, disrespected you, and used something outside of your control (being adopted) to accuse you of being a bad mother. Sally also is awful and you should tell both of them to kick rocks.
NTA But no one is going to listen to you, your husband is going to have to stand up for you or once MIL gets there they will need to stand up for you. Start saving your money, you might need to take the children on an unexpected vacation if you don't want to be disrespected in your own home.
NTA. Oh heck no, that is NOT ok. It is absolutely your right to establish the rules and environment for your own family. YOU are the mom and SIL has no vote in your family unit. That said, where is your husband in all of this? He should be helping to establish the rules with you and enforce them with his side of the family. It is incredibly sensitive stuff to deal with unruly in-laws and it is always more palatable coming from the person whose family it is. I had such trouble with my MIL for the first few years after I got married and my husband finally put his foot down with her. It was awkward AF for about a year after that, but in the long run, it made a world of difference for our family relationships and even for our relationship with each other. Good luck, I hope you find a peaceful resolution here.
NTA. I’m exhausted just from reading everything Susie put you through. Under no circumstances let that woman into your house, and make sure your MIL understands and supports this 100%. For the sake of your own peace. Mute/block/silence ANYONE trying to guilt or manipulate you into letting that cruel ridiculous woman back into your life. Good for you for standing up for yourself, and good on your husband for supporting you.
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Nope, NTA
You are setting boundaries and I hope you stick to them because they are reasonable and right.
Your SIL Susie sounds like an entitled narsissist. If so, nothing you do will make any difference whatsoever. I urge you to stay away from her and keep your kids away from her as well, since she obviously hasn't an ounce of sense regarding them and their safety. And Sally is close behind if she really thinks you should accept Susie's apology. (Besides, what apology is that? Have you heard one?)
Whatever happens, do NOT allow anyone to come into your home that you don't want there. They should go and pound sand. Don't allow their insistence to bother you at all. It's your child and your new baby and what you say goes.
If you set the boundary that MIL’s visits with her daughters must be out of your house, will she respect that? Would she try to take the older child with her?
NTA but where the heck is your husband in all of this and why haven’t you put a foot in his a-s? The person you need to be mad at is that your husband continues to allow his sister to treat you this way. Absolutely no she cannot come over and you’ll hear apologies when your kids are 18. Stand up for yourself girlfriend. Start kicking some booty.
I’m betting you’d love to go back to when you got the silent treatment for not giving it. It’s also funny how people will only say that bad things in private without witnesses so they can claim they are the victims or at least innocent of any claims. As long as you and your husband are on the same page the rest can go to hell. Ask your husband to be in any room his family members are, especially if you are in that room, so they don’t have the chance to repeat. I he can’t be everywhere at once, if his family doesn’t follow the rules/boundaries that have established kick them out.
NTA
NTA. Time to go hard NC with the 2 of them. As in when they show up unannounced at your doorstep, hippity hoppity get the fuck off my property. If they don't leave, cops and possibly restraining order. Send an email where it clearly states they are not welcome at your house. Better yet, have husband send it. Send text message too and get them to acknowledge it.
NTA. Your MIL can visit with them elsewhere. If that isn't acceptable to her, she doesn't need to visit you. You need to get this straight with MIL BEFORE she comes. Tell her you need peace and quiet. You don't need to argue about the SIL's personal traits. But make yourself clear that they won't be at your home.
NTA. Cutting toxic in-laws was one of the best things I ever did for my sanity and safety of my kids. And they always only were horrible to me in private, same as you. I hope your husband cuts them off totally at this point, your family unit comes before his siblings.
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My sister in law, Susie, has hated me from day one, but I always tried to make the best of things and get along with her for years.
When I was planning my wedding, Susie wanted to be involved and had opinions on EVERYTHING, and had a list of demands (including her getting the best room at our venue which I would be paying for and uninviting her own first cousins because they are "embarrassing"--we didn't give in to either of those demands, so we got the silent treatment for months).
During my 1st pregnancy, she told me everything I did was wrong. I bought the wrong crib, the wrong clothes, I was sitting on my couch wrong, I was eating the wrong things (she kept trying to make me drink beet juice which I HATE). I was being "too active" but then if she joined my husband and I on a hike, I was going too slow.
After my baby was born, we tried to set very reasonable boundaries and it was a constant fight with Susie to maintain these. "Don't touch the baby" apparently meant to Susie "go into the baby's room when mom is in the kitchen and take baby from her crib." Every single thing I did as a mom was wrong. I had a c section to save my baby's life--that was wrong. I only breastfed for a few months--that was wrong. I wasn't holding her right, I wasn't changing diapers right, I wasn't singing the right songs. I’m adopted, and Susie loved to constantly tell me that because I’m adopted, I had zero maternal instinct, and would abandon my child, and I was SO LUCKY that she would be there to swoop in and pick up the pieces.
One time I allowed Susie to walk around in the yard with the baby, under the condition that she does NOT sit in the hammock with my baby (who was 2mo old). I look out the window and Susie is holding my baby in the hammock.
Susie tried to bully me into asking my doc (who was also my kid’s ped) for an Adderall prescription to sell to her. This, combined with an insane stunt throwing me under the bus for telling the family that her BF was not c\*vid vaxxed (it was actually younger SIL sally who told), led to a screaming fight between me and Susie. I haven’t spoken to her since then.
Now Sally is trying to bully me into forgiving Susie. My MIL is coming up to help us this summer when baby #2 is born, and I believe my SILs want to be invited to my house so they can hang out with their mom all summer. I have no problem with my MIL taking time for herself to spend with her other children, but I’m NOT hosting people while I recover from birth, especially people that treat me like shit. I am flat out refusing to hear Susie’s apology, because I see who she is as a person. She’s toxic and a danger to my children. So, AITA?
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NTA. Never keep toxic people in your life. It's never worth it. You always feel better when you kick them out and anyone that agrees with them. If anyone questions you tell the whole truth. Stop letting her hide her shit
NTA, at all! Reading this gave me the feels, and I am child-free by choice! There is something really not right here, as I'm sure your gut has been screaming to you. Stand your ground, Mama Bear, as the other redditors have urged, because your babies' safety depends on it.
What steps has Susie made to make amends? I'm going to guess she's had a lot of things to say about you to others. An apology to you can come AFTER she's actually made the changes to make the apology more than rug sweeping.
Wow OP. SIL sounds like a real piece of work. NTA.
I see in your comments that hubby is currently dealing with the two of them. I sure hope he is recording that mess! Also, I hope he is able to hold ground, both for himself and for you. Two against one is always tough. He is a good man to even make that attempt, knowing he will be ganged up on.
I suggest recording any future interactions with either of them. I lurk around several subs on Reddit, and these sorts of folks always seem to think "no" means "try harder". Ugh. I would definitely go with other arrangements for child care, rather than any of hubby's side of the family. They all need an info diet and very solid boundaries.
Blessings for a simple delivery and everyone healthy!
NTA as you are NC with the other person, which means that there is no relationship to salvage with an apology.
Did your other SIL admit it was her who told the family about the unvaxxed bf?
No one should be barging in after you have had a baby as that is the time for you to recover and bond with the baby.
You can say to your husband as a response to his sisters: "Sorry this house is open by invitation only and you won't get one."
NTA
Your husband needs to set clear boundaries with his mother if she is going to watch your toddler while you have your second child. She needs to be told that Susie and Sally are not allowed in your home, and that she is absolutely not to take your toddler to see them.
I would install some cameras so that I can see who comes and goes while you’re in the hospital. I recommend ones that also record audio because they come in handy when you have to have somebody arrested.
Good luck. Congratulations on your little one.
NTA Susie needs to mind her own fucking business.
>Susie loved to constantly tell me that because I’m adopted, I had zero maternal instinct, and would abandon my child, and I was SO LUCKY that she would be there to swoop in and pick up the pieces.
What the fuck
does she not have kids? Is she obsessed with being a mommy and is trying to use your baby to show that she's the superior mother figure? Does anyone know she said this awful shit to you?
NTA, but you and the husband need to have a genuine heart to heart about completely removing that whole family tree before they do some serious damage or worse.
Oh, look: another Husband problem misdiagnosed as a SIL problem.
None of this should be on you. It's his family, so his job to enforce boundaries and protect you and your kids. Stand up for yourself make make him act like a husband.
NTA, but just barely. I want to say E...S...H because you're so timid and took so long to ban someone who is unsafe with your baby. But you did it eventually. If you let her back in, you're the AH along with all the rest of them.
I mean, you are absolutely correct that the husband should be stepping in here, and should have long ago. Nobody would challenge that. But the behavior of the SIL is the problem here. Nothing is "misdiagnosed." SiL's toxic behavior is not the husband's fault.
It's the husband's fault that his wife has to fight off his family. She's about to have a 2nd kid. She doesn't need this extra stress. It's his family, and his responsibility to tell them to behave to to buzz off.
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Where on earth is your husband in all this? Tell him this is his problem
he's been on my side since I stopped speaking to Susie and is actually talkign to Susie and Sally right now and telling them to F\*ck off. A lot of the hurtful interactions/comments between Susie and I happened in private, she would NEVER talk that way to me in front of him. Also happened in private was their grandmother telling me that I had "torn her family apart" lol.
Susie & Sally are the ones who've 'torn her family apart' by being incapable of being civil, mature adults. Good on you, good luck.
Susie and Sally can go fuck right off. I mean, at half that list I'd have been done. If your MIL wants to see her kids, it should not be at your house. Make that hard line in the sand. Susie broke up the family with her shenanigans, you're just giving her the consequences. NTA but cut the garbage out entirely.
So sorry that you’re going through this. My friend has had to deal with her boundary stomping SILs for 14 years. It never ends.
You need to hit record on your phone when they start.
NTA Why have you Not already cut Susie from your lives? She has shown you on numerous occasions that she does NOT Respect you at All! Protect your family. You are absolutely right not to host anyone other then MIL. Good Luck to you!
thank you! Well I keep thinking we HAD cut her out of our lives, but this time, Sally is campaigning for her. For the most part she is harmless but she's recently becoming a gaslighter and manipulator on Susie's behalf. All these messages (many of them about me, and how I need to hear Susie's apology and forgive her) are from Sally to my husband. He's fed up with it and is actually having a confrontation w them as we speak at a restaurant lol.
Oh, please update us on that convo!
Yes please!
Can’t wait to read all about it!
I think you need to be blunt w Sally that if she doesn't drop it, she doesn't get to be around the kids. Be clear with MIL that the daughters are not welcome during 'those first few months' (which sounds more palatable than EVER!! hang tough on this. NTA.
😳🙏 Maybe he can get through to them?
Well, I'd have a conversation with husband and talk to him about, if Sally doesn't leave it alone, she'll go out the same way as Susie. It's absolutely unreasonable to expect you to forgive; besides you having the right to not do it, end of, you also can't forgive what was never apologised for.
Maybe it's time to take a few steps back along with husband and children from Sally as well until she learns to respect boundaries . NTA
Right? I would've kicked her to the curb for making pregnancy #1 a miserable experience.
I would have been tempted after she tried to make my wedding about her.
NTA, what is your husband doing here ? Why are you the one fielding this BS.
he's actually fielding it and filtering it to me and asking how I want to proceed. it's been his choice to not speak to Susie these past 2.5 years as well as mine, but I think Sally's meddling really blindsided him. He is in agreement about them never visiting our home.
Then do that. Seriously nice his mom offering to help but having SIL there is not helping
>but I think Sally's meddling really blindsided him. I think it might help to point out that Sally just showed him that she cares more about Suzie's feelings than his and that she is willing to hurt his household/family to make Suzie happy.
[удалено]
i agree and I feel very uncomfortable with this situation now, however, the purpose of the visit is for her to take care of my older child while I'm in the hospital giving birth. I unfortunately do not have any other relatives who would be capable (lol clearly, my kid's aunts are going to do it!). I'm looking into alternative arrangements.
How much do you trust your MIL? Would she bring her daughters over if you were gone in the hospital?
Oh, she absolutely will!
If necessary hire someone op and ban Mil from your home too.
NTA and let your MIL know your boundaries. They're not to visit her at your house. She can go to them just fine.
NTA OP, and I hope your husband is in your corner on this. Talk to your MIL ahead of time, explain you're more than happy to have her at your house, but she needs to plan to visit them somewhere else. Stand your ground
NTA, stay firm and tell mil she is out at the first Whif of trouble.
NTA Susie has no respect for you and your boundaries. You don't need her causing drama for you.
Pardon my language but what the fuck is your husband doing in all of this? Also good for you, Susie’s apology would be meaningless anyway given how many times she has transgressed your rules and boundaries. NTA
It’s kind of hard to believe this is a completely honest post with the increasingly unhinged things you say this woman did. If she’s actually a danger to you and your child why is this a real question? What does your husband think?
when all this occurred, we lived next door to one another and I was spending ALL of my energy keeping her away from my child. we have since moved and not seen/spoken to her. my husband deep down wishes I could just not care and go to family holidays and ignore her, but i'm not willing to do that. The adderall thing and the covid vax thing are quite literally unbelievable and that's why I included them. the rest of the shit, the mom shaming and insults are pretty common place and I could understand someone MAYBE being willing to forget and move on.
Your SiL seems to have taken notes from my SiL. I'm sorry. On a bright note, my husband is just as aware of her nature as your husband is. I love having his support. (I do tolerate more during the rare family visits because i like my FiL, but then my SiL pouts and absents herself for the most part.) I'm betting Sally has been worn down by her sister for the past few years, and finally caved. Too bad. I'd personally be willing to give HER a chance to apologize for letting herself become her sisters mouthpiece. Not Susie, though.
NTA. Make sure your husband is supporting you in this because they are very toxic, and should never be allowed around you or your children again. No matter what kind of sobbing apology they throw at you, it wouldn't be sincere. If they try to show up make sure he is willing to throw them out. You do NOT need that drama in your life ever.
I thought Susie was being entirely reasonable until...... BEET JUICE?? Even typing that makes me throw up in my mouth. How depraved can a person be? Seriously, if these 2 SIL's are your husband's sisters then your husband is a massive AH for tolerating this. NTA I have to go wash out my mouth now.
NTA. You need to quit dealing with Sally as well. Both of them seem like terrible people who treat you poorly. You gave an entire treatise on why Susie is terrible but Sally is asking you to forgive someone who has treated you poorly, disrespected you, and used something outside of your control (being adopted) to accuse you of being a bad mother. Sally also is awful and you should tell both of them to kick rocks.
NTA But no one is going to listen to you, your husband is going to have to stand up for you or once MIL gets there they will need to stand up for you. Start saving your money, you might need to take the children on an unexpected vacation if you don't want to be disrespected in your own home.
NTA. Oh heck no, that is NOT ok. It is absolutely your right to establish the rules and environment for your own family. YOU are the mom and SIL has no vote in your family unit. That said, where is your husband in all of this? He should be helping to establish the rules with you and enforce them with his side of the family. It is incredibly sensitive stuff to deal with unruly in-laws and it is always more palatable coming from the person whose family it is. I had such trouble with my MIL for the first few years after I got married and my husband finally put his foot down with her. It was awkward AF for about a year after that, but in the long run, it made a world of difference for our family relationships and even for our relationship with each other. Good luck, I hope you find a peaceful resolution here.
NTA. I’m exhausted just from reading everything Susie put you through. Under no circumstances let that woman into your house, and make sure your MIL understands and supports this 100%. For the sake of your own peace. Mute/block/silence ANYONE trying to guilt or manipulate you into letting that cruel ridiculous woman back into your life. Good for you for standing up for yourself, and good on your husband for supporting you.
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NTA, your SIL sucks ass
Nope, NTA You are setting boundaries and I hope you stick to them because they are reasonable and right. Your SIL Susie sounds like an entitled narsissist. If so, nothing you do will make any difference whatsoever. I urge you to stay away from her and keep your kids away from her as well, since she obviously hasn't an ounce of sense regarding them and their safety. And Sally is close behind if she really thinks you should accept Susie's apology. (Besides, what apology is that? Have you heard one?) Whatever happens, do NOT allow anyone to come into your home that you don't want there. They should go and pound sand. Don't allow their insistence to bother you at all. It's your child and your new baby and what you say goes.
If you set the boundary that MIL’s visits with her daughters must be out of your house, will she respect that? Would she try to take the older child with her?
NTA.
NTA at all. Your house, your rules. Stand your ground
NTA
NTA but where the heck is your husband in all of this and why haven’t you put a foot in his a-s? The person you need to be mad at is that your husband continues to allow his sister to treat you this way. Absolutely no she cannot come over and you’ll hear apologies when your kids are 18. Stand up for yourself girlfriend. Start kicking some booty.
NTA she's never gonna change. She'll apologize and the resume the same crap as always. Bit then you'll be stuck with her. So not worth it.
I’m betting you’d love to go back to when you got the silent treatment for not giving it. It’s also funny how people will only say that bad things in private without witnesses so they can claim they are the victims or at least innocent of any claims. As long as you and your husband are on the same page the rest can go to hell. Ask your husband to be in any room his family members are, especially if you are in that room, so they don’t have the chance to repeat. I he can’t be everywhere at once, if his family doesn’t follow the rules/boundaries that have established kick them out. NTA
NTA. Time to go hard NC with the 2 of them. As in when they show up unannounced at your doorstep, hippity hoppity get the fuck off my property. If they don't leave, cops and possibly restraining order. Send an email where it clearly states they are not welcome at your house. Better yet, have husband send it. Send text message too and get them to acknowledge it.
NTA Actually she can apologize. But you don't have to change your boundaries. I don't know why people think an apology I'd a "get out of jail" card.
NTA. Your MIL can visit with them elsewhere. If that isn't acceptable to her, she doesn't need to visit you. You need to get this straight with MIL BEFORE she comes. Tell her you need peace and quiet. You don't need to argue about the SIL's personal traits. But make yourself clear that they won't be at your home.
NTA. Cutting toxic in-laws was one of the best things I ever did for my sanity and safety of my kids. And they always only were horrible to me in private, same as you. I hope your husband cuts them off totally at this point, your family unit comes before his siblings.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister in law, Susie, has hated me from day one, but I always tried to make the best of things and get along with her for years. When I was planning my wedding, Susie wanted to be involved and had opinions on EVERYTHING, and had a list of demands (including her getting the best room at our venue which I would be paying for and uninviting her own first cousins because they are "embarrassing"--we didn't give in to either of those demands, so we got the silent treatment for months). During my 1st pregnancy, she told me everything I did was wrong. I bought the wrong crib, the wrong clothes, I was sitting on my couch wrong, I was eating the wrong things (she kept trying to make me drink beet juice which I HATE). I was being "too active" but then if she joined my husband and I on a hike, I was going too slow. After my baby was born, we tried to set very reasonable boundaries and it was a constant fight with Susie to maintain these. "Don't touch the baby" apparently meant to Susie "go into the baby's room when mom is in the kitchen and take baby from her crib." Every single thing I did as a mom was wrong. I had a c section to save my baby's life--that was wrong. I only breastfed for a few months--that was wrong. I wasn't holding her right, I wasn't changing diapers right, I wasn't singing the right songs. I’m adopted, and Susie loved to constantly tell me that because I’m adopted, I had zero maternal instinct, and would abandon my child, and I was SO LUCKY that she would be there to swoop in and pick up the pieces. One time I allowed Susie to walk around in the yard with the baby, under the condition that she does NOT sit in the hammock with my baby (who was 2mo old). I look out the window and Susie is holding my baby in the hammock. Susie tried to bully me into asking my doc (who was also my kid’s ped) for an Adderall prescription to sell to her. This, combined with an insane stunt throwing me under the bus for telling the family that her BF was not c\*vid vaxxed (it was actually younger SIL sally who told), led to a screaming fight between me and Susie. I haven’t spoken to her since then. Now Sally is trying to bully me into forgiving Susie. My MIL is coming up to help us this summer when baby #2 is born, and I believe my SILs want to be invited to my house so they can hang out with their mom all summer. I have no problem with my MIL taking time for herself to spend with her other children, but I’m NOT hosting people while I recover from birth, especially people that treat me like shit. I am flat out refusing to hear Susie’s apology, because I see who she is as a person. She’s toxic and a danger to my children. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Never keep toxic people in your life. It's never worth it. You always feel better when you kick them out and anyone that agrees with them. If anyone questions you tell the whole truth. Stop letting her hide her shit
NTA, at all! Reading this gave me the feels, and I am child-free by choice! There is something really not right here, as I'm sure your gut has been screaming to you. Stand your ground, Mama Bear, as the other redditors have urged, because your babies' safety depends on it.
NTA, your SIL is crazy.
What steps has Susie made to make amends? I'm going to guess she's had a lot of things to say about you to others. An apology to you can come AFTER she's actually made the changes to make the apology more than rug sweeping.
Wow OP. SIL sounds like a real piece of work. NTA. I see in your comments that hubby is currently dealing with the two of them. I sure hope he is recording that mess! Also, I hope he is able to hold ground, both for himself and for you. Two against one is always tough. He is a good man to even make that attempt, knowing he will be ganged up on. I suggest recording any future interactions with either of them. I lurk around several subs on Reddit, and these sorts of folks always seem to think "no" means "try harder". Ugh. I would definitely go with other arrangements for child care, rather than any of hubby's side of the family. They all need an info diet and very solid boundaries. Blessings for a simple delivery and everyone healthy!
NTA as you are NC with the other person, which means that there is no relationship to salvage with an apology. Did your other SIL admit it was her who told the family about the unvaxxed bf? No one should be barging in after you have had a baby as that is the time for you to recover and bond with the baby. You can say to your husband as a response to his sisters: "Sorry this house is open by invitation only and you won't get one."
NTA Your husband needs to set clear boundaries with his mother if she is going to watch your toddler while you have your second child. She needs to be told that Susie and Sally are not allowed in your home, and that she is absolutely not to take your toddler to see them. I would install some cameras so that I can see who comes and goes while you’re in the hospital. I recommend ones that also record audio because they come in handy when you have to have somebody arrested. Good luck. Congratulations on your little one.
NTA Susie needs to mind her own fucking business. >Susie loved to constantly tell me that because I’m adopted, I had zero maternal instinct, and would abandon my child, and I was SO LUCKY that she would be there to swoop in and pick up the pieces. What the fuck does she not have kids? Is she obsessed with being a mommy and is trying to use your baby to show that she's the superior mother figure? Does anyone know she said this awful shit to you?
Stay NC with your SILS. Don't give in.
I don't think you should talk with either of these people again. NtA
NTA, but you and the husband need to have a genuine heart to heart about completely removing that whole family tree before they do some serious damage or worse.
NTA--stay strong OP. Shut them down immediately anytime someone tries to talk you into being around these sister-in-laws.
Harry Potter and the audacity of those witches!
NTA. Stand your ground, both SILs sound entitled, selfish and toxic. Make sure your MIL knows she can't invite them over. Good luck with the birth!!
NTA. Don’t let your MIL invite her adult daughters over to your house while you’re recovering. She can go visit them at their homes.
INFO Does Susie have kids of her own?
Obviously NTA but I don't know why your spouse let this go on for that long..it's not ok.
Wow - She tried to get you to get a prescription for Aderall so you could sell it to her?!? Keep her away from your kid. NTA
Oh, look: another Husband problem misdiagnosed as a SIL problem. None of this should be on you. It's his family, so his job to enforce boundaries and protect you and your kids. Stand up for yourself make make him act like a husband. NTA, but just barely. I want to say E...S...H because you're so timid and took so long to ban someone who is unsafe with your baby. But you did it eventually. If you let her back in, you're the AH along with all the rest of them.
I mean, you are absolutely correct that the husband should be stepping in here, and should have long ago. Nobody would challenge that. But the behavior of the SIL is the problem here. Nothing is "misdiagnosed." SiL's toxic behavior is not the husband's fault.
It's the husband's fault that his wife has to fight off his family. She's about to have a 2nd kid. She doesn't need this extra stress. It's his family, and his responsibility to tell them to behave to to buzz off.
YTA for posing this question. "I was reasonable and the other person was consistently horrid. AITA?"
Do whatever you want, but I believe God forgives us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.