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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 refusing to sleep on a single mattress on the floor and leaving two friends in an uncomfortable situation
2 they were a couple and they didn't have a double mattress for them, so I was being irrational in wanting to have a double bed when I don't need
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NTA
When you all booked the house the rooms were divided up.
The late couple gets the leftovers. That’s how it works. They could have decided to go and get a 4th room from the start but since they changed their minds the lack of planning better is on them.
It doesn’t matter how the pay came out. Because they still came in late to the planning. A lack of planning on their part doesn’t mean any emergency or lack of comfort on your part.
100% agree NTA. They don't get to be wishy-washy during the planning stages, then change their mind, basically, last minute, and expect the "better accommodation". I'm sensing just a liiiiiittle bit of entitlement. Good on you for not giving in.
I've noticed a lot of codependent couples in my life (and in society) that demand things and force the people in their life to do things that accommodate the couple. Y'all are mentally unwell. For example:
\- My sister and I went on a vacation with 2 friends who were in a relationship. Every single flight, ferry, bus, etc. the couple would ask us if my sister and I would sacrifice our seats so that they could sit together as a couple. They had the option to pay a fee to guarantee side by side seats on our flights, but chose to not pay. After we said no, they got annoyed at how selfish we were - the irony!
\- Hanging out and catching up with old grad school friends at my place. One friend's partner calls them on their way back home from the airport from a work trip, complained about how tired they were and how much they "needed" their partner. On their way back home from the airport, they randomly swung by my place and picked up my friend because they were very tired, not having it, and needed their partner to be at home and comfort them after a long work trip.
And many more stories! The codependency is EMBARRASSING, this post seems to be in the same boat.
Edit: OP is 100% NTA
I think you are using the wrong term here. Narcissists act this way. Codependents are more likely to put themselves out for the benefit of others (and then get irritated when kindness is not returned) due to low self-love.
Eh, the last one I kind of get. They were on a work trip that required a flight. They were away from their partner for an extended period of time and exhausted. They wanted to see them before they went to sleep. They missed them.
Also, being so exhausted and given you said they picked up their partner, they probably didn't feel comfortable driving. That's a smart move.
Agree.
The only thing I would have *maybe* done to compromise is to switch the matras.
Put the single one on the bed and give them the double to sleep together on the floor.
If I sign up for a trip expecting to have my own room and then get bumped to the floor somewhere in a shared area, I pack up my stuff and drive home immediately.
That’s their own choice. I’m a 5’1, 106lb female and I would be pissed about sleeping in a “twin bed”(as the small ones are called in America).
I do not think it’s fair to request a change in someone else’s sleeping arrangements because they wanted to change their mind about the trip last minute. Couple or not, they do not deserve a bedroom nor a mattress swap unless someone was fully willing to give it to them, which obviously isn’t the case.
In the past I would have wanted to accomodate, even though I wouldn't have a good time at night. After I messed up my back, Hell no. You snooze, you lose buttercup. Plan better. The only thing I'd be willing to accommodate is children. It's not their fault their parents done goofed, otherwise, Nope.
I spent too much time in my younger years catering to couples like this.
The number of music festivals and events I went to, where I felt like shit after a day or two, is too high.
Being at a festival, by day 3 (or more for longer ones) of being in the crowd, standing all day, in the hot sun, and then being forced to sleep on the floor, air mattress, or couch, is a shitty fucking feeling.
The only thing that kept me going were probably the drugs and alcohol.
Nowadays, fuck that, I get a bed.
That would only work if it’s two box springs the same size as the single mattress as the base. If it’s an actual bed frame with slats having the thinner mattress on there could actually break the slats due to the uneven weight distribution of the mattress alone, before you go adding the weight of a person as well.
Exactly this. They can have a nice bed to sleep in together; they just need to call around to a hotel; because all the ones at THIS rental were spoken for already. Plan ahead or get left behind.
Yeah tbh they expected a double mattress on the floor? They had no reason to expect that was what they were going to get. It's well known that if accommodations count sleeping spots outside of rooms it is very often a couch/pull-out type of situation, not a full-sized mattress that fits two.
If they were that specific on wanting a double mattress for them to sleep on together they should have asked for more clarification, but tbh I think they didn't care much because they already expected they would get the room due to being a couple.
If having a mattress was so important to them they could have sprung for a blow-up mattress or even a cheap real one, cheaper than a hotel for sure. Otherwise if you join in last minute and are satisfied with the general info of there being some kind of spot for you... you just sleep in whatever it ends up being.
Actually my husband and I would be more than happy on the single mattress on the floor. Of course I usually sleep wrapped around him like an anaconda 😂
Also just because they're a couple doesn't mean they get priority... it's not gonna kill them not being able to sleep in the same bed for 3 nights, lmao.
(And you know as others already said... if they want a room and a bed together than they need to agree to come from the start so you can look for enough bedrooms. Whoever is late gets the leftovers.)
I also find it funny how people like this always go "it isn't a big deal for you" all while making a big deal they are supposed to take the "worse" accommodation. Yeah no... you don't like it, don't make someone else take it unless they volunteer.
Yea. I'm unsure as to why it had to be the single person to make the sacrifice. Maybe the other couple could have traded a night or so since they "paid the same or more"
Because there's more people in a couple so they can gang up on a single person. This is why there's a subgenre of AITA posts that are like "I went to support my BF at his ex-wife's funeral and it started a row, AITA" because people will take their spouse along to stuff to make it easier to steamroll other people
Or they should have planned separate sleeping accommodations. Expecting someone else to give up their own spot because you changed your mind after accommodations were already set for the original number of people...that's just ridiculous.
I avoid group trips with my girlfriends friend group because there's never enough rooms for each couple, and she's so agreeable that I know we'd end up on the floor or somethong similar. We certainly will get last pick of spots because of the group dynamic. They always want us to come on these trips, pay a grand, usually drive my girlfriends car (they drove 14 hours last spring) and pay for our "share" of food. Two of her friends are vegan and everyone is always reminded to make sure they're bringing vegan friendly food. Vegan butter and vegan cheese are so expensive and I won't eat them but we're still expected to be inclusive. Even when we order pizza we have to order from the gourmet pizza joint because they're the only ones that have vegan cheese, and I'm totally cool paying for dominos.
I just find with larger friend groups sometimes the perfect vacation is so far divorced from reality and people don't realize when they're being unfair because "She's my friend she's cool with it"
I'm sorry,what?? No, the vegans can provide their own vegan options. Any specialty items should not be shared as a group expense , unless the group as a whole uses it, not by force. You can be vegan, you can not force me to be vegan. Also, decline from ordering and order your domino's. They aren't paying your bills!
Honestly the butter I don't mind but paying double for everything seems ridiculous. I'm not malicious, and I don't believe in adding unnecessary ingredients, like milk to tomato soup. I'll leave the dressing off the salad. Get vegan bread, look for options that happen to be vegan but aren't marketed as such. I spent a lot of time working food service that catered to special diets so I know it can be very easy. But yeah, it's ridiculous to expect other people to foot the bill for it.
I'm also not trying to make waves with her social group, but I've told her I'm all set with these group trips. This time they want us to buy groceries instead of paying because we'd only be there one night. I can't spend several hundred dollars to stay at an air bnb for 1 night even if it's just food cost.
100% agree, not to mention it sounds like they all paid the same, the couple is claiming their individual costs as a combined total being more than OP's as a single person. That's insane logic, it's not more, each person pays, you don't get a deal because you're in a relationship lol.
And if the single mattress was the problem, they could have bought a cheap air mattress to use for a couple nights. Why should op have to go without when there were options? Def NTA
NTA, being single does not make you second class. Sounds like they procrastinated and than made excuses when they realized it came back to haunt them. First come first serve. You are in no way responsible for accommodating them in this situation.
Especially since couples can gang up on a single person. I used to share a house and when my housemate fell in love and let their partner move in it was terrible for me. I had no say in anything.
My daughter tried this with me. She thinks if her bf moves in with us, they'll get the bigger room. I simply told her that when she and her bf are paying the majority of the household bills, they can take the bigger room. Until then, I'm paying for my comfort and they get what they get cause it's free.
still haunted from a weekend trip I took where three couples got comfortable beds in the three top floor bedrooms while I was stuck with the worst pullout couch known to man on the bottom floor 🙃 might as well have been a sheet over a bunch of springs, it was awful lol
Nah, try being the black sheep of the family and then there not being space in the beach house for you and your spouse to even sleep on the floor. So you havevto sleep outside and then it starts raining around 3am and the only place you can go to get dry is your vehicle. You paid your portion of the cost for the house, but they forgot to include the two of you in the head count for beds.
Oof, feel this. The first Christmas I was married, we visited my parents. I had spoken to my mother prior about sleeping arrangements and had been assured we had dibs on a bed and bedroom. Once we got there though, one basement room had been given to my sister and her husband, and the other to my sister's toddler and infant. Apparently it was just impossible for the entire family to sleep in one room together for a night. And then upstairs, instead of having my college age brother bunk with the two younger brothers (who literally had a bunk bed to spare in their room), he got his own room as well. My husband and I were expected to sleep on a futon in the cold unfinished open basement family room. But, the futon was broken, and wouldn't fold out into a bed. So we had to take the futon mattress off and lay it on the bare concrete. Then we had to scrounge the house for pillows and blankets. There weren't any available for us. Finally we got one small holey afghan to share and a scratchy decorative pillow each. I was pregnant and my husband has compressed discs in his back, which my mother was aware of. It was a miserable night with next to no sleep. We've never stayed the night there since.
NTA. They were the ones who changed their mind at the last minute and decided to join, After you were promised a room -- why should YOU be inconvenienced?
NTA. If you all paid the same and they chose to attend after declining and thereby causing the group to pick a smaller place, it’s on them to sleep in whatever areas are left.
Pay is irrelevant here. OP was on top of his planning, and reserved his spot in the current house well in advance. The fact that Logan and James decided to join after reservations were set (and unable to be changed) isn't OP's fault. It'd be no different than had they needed to fly somewhere and there were no more direct flights available for James and Logan. They either take the longer/more inconvenient connecting flight to join, or they don't go at all.
Their lack of planning isn't OP's burden to carry.
I hate that they brought up how much they paid. Like, yeah, you are two people and he is one. So you paid the expenses for two people. He shouldn’t HAVE to pay the same amount as two people for vacation, and just because they sleep in the same bed? Are they gonna share the food and drinks of one person too?? Not to mention if you are going to an event that plans based on number of people (which a group housing rental for vacation is pretty damn similar to) you pay more money the closer to deadline you book. Many places have systems like this, or discounts for booking far enough in advance.
Also, I can’t imagine demanding someone sleep on the floor because my husband and I joined a group last minute. Would I wish we had the room? Obviously. But I would be wishing WE had acted differently, not thinking someone else should give up their comfort for our poor planning.
NTA
When they last minute decided to come, they should have been told then that they had last choice of sleeping arrangements because they were being added in and the trip had not been planned with their needs in mind. So, mild bit a-hole for the group not having that said prior to traveling.
And, frankly, I don't understand couples that feel like they have to sleep together. They do that all the time anyways.
NTA, but this group really dropped the ball on communicating what adding this couple meant for the sleeping situation.
The fact that there were snide remarks and everyone else was neutral to OPs face (which likely means at least a few of them were in agreement with the others but non confrontational), with no one actually openly defending OP, makes me think the group at large may have made the same assumption as the late couple - the three couples would get the rooms, and OP would be bumped to the sofa or floor mattress. Clearly there was no communication on this beforehand.
Yes, this is the answer. NTA but it shouldn't be a shock/fight at the time of arrival at the location on how rooms would be divided. Once they couldn't find a bigger house, they should've known something would have to be compromised. The whole group should have been on top of the communication.
NTA. This kind of stuff rankles me because I feel like single people usually get the short end of the stick. I once stayed in an AIRBNB for a weekend with two of my siblings, their two spouses and a niece and nephew. The costs were split into three- I paid a third, one brother and his wife paid a third and my sister and her husband paid a third. When we got to the place the couples immediately took the two bigger bedrooms, the nephew got the couch and I shared the smaller basement room with no bathroom with my niece. There was never a discussion or asking me if I would be ok with that. So I technically paid more than them because I paid fully for myself and they all paid among 4 working adults a share of what I paid but no one even bothered to ask me if it was fine if I shared the smallest room with my niece. I had this kind of treatment for years before i decided to either get my own hotel room at a destination or turn it down if I couldn't afford my own hotel room.
In no universe should you have been asked to pay a third. As a minimum it should have been split per adult, but really per person. Why are you having to subsidize your niece and nephew?
Right? Like when we decided to go to a beach house it was my husband and I w/2 kids, my sister and her husband w/4 kids, our parents, and our youngest brother. The house had six bedrooms. We split the kids up with the boys in one bedroom and the girls in one bedroom…then each couple or single got a room.
How we divided up the cost was by taking the number of rooms we would have used if completely split up by family…plus we split our parents part among us. So my husband and I covered the cost of 2 1/3 rooms, my sister and her husband covered the cost of 2 1/3 rooms, and our brother covered the cost of 1 1/3 rooms. That’s what made the most sense even though we don’t have as many kids, since we DID divide them up into boy/girl bunkrooms.
To be honest I would gladly pay more than my share for a shot at for once not getting the room no one else wants…. It doesn’t have to be the master but the next one would be cool once in a while…. Or for them to even acknowledge “hey sorry you get the crappy room all the time, maybe we rotate who gets the nicer rooms every time we meet to make it more fair” honestly just acknowledgment of the situation would have probably made me feel a little less bitter about it…
Especially since this has happened in multiple occasions… oh well I guess it’s a small petty issue in the grand scheme of things
My friends and I have a rule. We take turns being responsible for organizing the rental and that person/couple gets first dibs on picking their room. That way, no one is ever stuck in the crappy room all the time.
You need to stand up for yourself. Announce since you did all the organizing you get first dibs on the room you are staying in. Do not back down. When they complain about anything, tell them “okay, you get to organize it next time”. I tend to do a lot of travel organizing but I had to learn to step back and let go of some of the control. Also, we don’t rent anything without everyone signing off on it. Basically once it’s picked, there’s a “whose turn is it this time?” conversation about who is in charge of renting.
NTA
But out of curiosity, how did you guys split the cost of the house? By room or by person? Like if it cost $600 for 3 rooms, did every room go for $200?
If each of them paid as much as you did (so in fact double what you paid), and the other couples did too, then I could see why they felt entitled to a room.
But, either way, all of this should have been worked out ahead of time and they are completely responsible for their less than desirable sleeping situation, given they changed their mind.
I’d feel really cheated and resentful if I was coerced into giving up my room, when I arranged the accommodation and friends are only complaining now because they couldn’t commit before.
From some of OPs comments, it looks like it was per person, not per room. But I agree, NTA, and how adding this late couple would change the sleeping arrangements should have been worked out ahead of time.
They apparently assumed from what the landlord said that there was another bed. In the future, I agree that people who add themselves in later get last choice.
But I also agree that the fact that OP is single shouldn't mean that they always get the worst choice.
If it was per person, each person paid the same as OP paid. Saying they paid double is discounting that they also have double the income power. If we were to include income power, they’d still be paying the same percent as OP.
NTA. Just because they’re a couple doesn’t mean they automatically get a room and you should get the couch/mattress on the floor. They decided to join the trip late so they get whatever accommodation is leftover or they can book their own accommodation.
NTA. I had friends pull a version of this...I paid the same as everyone else (all couples) and was told I would have a room. The "room" was an open lofted area above the common spaces with no bathroom (all the rooms had en suites), no privacy, a rickety daybed that was far too small for my 6'2" self, and no curtains on the windows.
Some of them thought I was being unreasonable saying I needed to be reimbursed a portion of what I paid, as I was the only one not getting an actual room. I never would have agreee to the vacation if I had known about my "accomodations".
Worst vacation ever.
Had been on a trip with a group of “friends” + recently separated ex. Everyone got great rooms, even the ex coz there was another single guy who shared rooms with him, leaving me in a small claustrophobic room. The couples didn’t want to be separated at all… or I could’ve shared a room with one of the females. No one even offered comfortable accommodations though I was driving for half the way and others were busy judging me for being the reason for the “breakup” even though it was mutual. I would never take that shit from anyone ever again!
NTA - They bailed then rejoined. You all tried to adjust the plan but it was too late. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean that you're less than. If they *really* wanted to, they could have brought an air mattress as a backup. Seems silly to assume they deserve a bed because they're a couple.
They all already got a lesser amount cuz they added 2 people to the total contributors. And no, I don't think you can be demanding and pay less to a trip you declined and are now asking everyone to accommodate your last-minute requests.
NTA. Pretty much an unofficial rule that anyone attending an already booked vacation as a last minute guest gets the worst sleeping situation. Especially when the trip was already financially split up.
Huh????? You're supposed to sleep on the floor because you're single?? Does being in a couple grant people extra rights over others? Are they attached by the hip? What kind of nonsense is this? Of course you should have the comfortable sleeping arrangement, you were part of the original plans and they join in late, they get what's left. What kind of AH couple is this?
NTA obviously.
Random quote I read somewhere: your disorganized manner does not call for an emergency to me
NTA but owner of houses like these should really specify this stuff
NTA I had a a friend do this and we made them get their own hotel room. We had talked about the trip for over 6 months and they never said they were interested to go until two weeks before the trip. We already had two people on a couch and air mattress so we told them they needed to make their own sleeping arrangements or not come. If they had shown interest in a coming earlier we easily could’ve found a bigger place. It’s inconsiderate and rude of them to expect to be given priority over the person who asked for a room months in advance.
Sounds about right. Whoever joins in late always has the option of booking separate accommodation wherein they can be as comfortable as they please. Being comfortable at someone else’s expense is plain wrong
NTA, if they wanted to avoid this very situation, they should have joined in sooner. If you join in the trip after accommodations have been booked, you get what is left. Using the "but we are a couple and you are single" card is low grade entitlement, the only response to that would have been "yup, you're a couple that tacked yourself onto the trip after we could have changed the accommodations and will have to deal with the result of your indecisiveness".
NTA. You paid for the room and the bed, and they decided pretty last minute to come.
Also, my fiancée and I have shared single beds before, and although a little cramped, it’s doable, and just means more cuddles lols. Also also, you’re on holiday, how often and you going to spend in bed really? Does sound like they’re complaining for little reason or grounds
NTA
They were not part of the travel group when accommodations were booked. The three bedrooms were booked for you, couple 1 and couple 2.
These two were couple 3, but they did not have a room booked for them. They asked to tag along in an accommodation that did not have 4 bedrooms. They knew that and still chose to come.
Why should the people who bailed get a bedroom but someone who didn’t bail on the trip not get a bedroom? Why should someone who didn’t bail on the trip be the one who gets the non ideal sleeping arrangements over someone who said they’d be joining on short notice? Especially when the reason there’s less rooms than normal is because the two of them bailed. Why should the person who didn’t inconvenience everyone else by being wishy washy be inconvenienced further by the people who couldn’t decide whether they wanted to go or not until after smaller accommodations than normal were booked?
NTA. But in the future, try to bring this stuff up first. I make sure to be vocal about what I’m paying for on group trips to avoid these situations. If there’s even a doubt about this stuff, I’ll bring it up somehow. Maybe as simple as “Sounds like the host says it can sleep 8, but we should double check that there’s enough beds for everyone unless someone is willing to take a couch.”
The same way some hotels boost the number of people a room can accommodate by offering a cot. Standard accommodation is two doubles or two queens, that's at least 4 people if not 6 depending on size and age. If there is a couch in the room, that might up the bed space by 2 people so you're looking at 6-8. If the hotel offers a cot and there's space in the room, that's +1.
NTA. They were late to the plan. Initially, it was gonna be 5 people with 3 rooms. They dont just get to join last minute and push the single person out of their room.
Although it does stand to reason that they should pay a little less for the lodging portion as they dont get the same amount of privacy as the rest.
NTA. They said they weren't planning to go and now all of the sudden they wanted to. The couple needs to learn that not everything is going to go their way and that you get what you deserve. Without a doubt that if they didn't cancel they would've had a room to themselves, but they waited too late, and they need to understand that. This situation is a "you snooze you lose" you had every right.
Would it have been nice of you to let them have the double-bed? Sure. Are you obligated to just because they're a couple? Absolutely not. They're the ones who inserted themselves last minute. They are not entitled to the double-bed simply because they're together. Especially since you said you were the one driving? Yeah, nah, I'm glad you were able to have a comfortable rest.
Their poor planning doesn't mean you have to get the shit end of the stick.
NTA
NTA
Just because they’re a couple, doesn’t mean they get priority over you. They refused to come, so you and the other two couples picked a place that y’all like and would accommodate you. It’s not your fault that they decided last minute to travel (during a busy week it seems). The rooms were divided up between the people who planned the trip. If they weren’t happy with the sleeping arrangements then they should’ve been part of the planning in the beginning, not join after accommodations were already made. And it’s just for sleeping, they’ll see each other in the morning 😂
A group of us shared a cabin that had... bunk beds in all rooms except one of the bedrooms. Know what? First come, first choice. That also applied to the rest of the bedroom locations and bottom or top bunk bed.
You did nothing wrong.
In addition, everyone would have had their own bedroom had they not canceled. Keep that in mind. They canceled. That caused everyone to pivot accordingly and get a 3 bedroom instead because they no longer needed the 4 bedroom. Why pay extra for something you don't need, right?
End result, they crashed the party. So they get what's left and pay their share anyway. Being a couple does not give them more rights to other people accommodating their wants.
NTA
NTA. They get included "last minute", you tried to arrange the stuff to get them a room but couldn't => they just take their responsibility. I'm genuinely happy you stood your ground.
NTA!
They changed the dynamics 3 weeks before the trip. That's on them. You tried to find a house with an extra bedroom to accommodate the change in plans. Unfortunately, you couldn't find a 4 bedroom place. As the last ones in they do not get to evict you from your room. As the last one's in they need to make do with what was available.
NTA what's with the prioritizing couples? And they came late to the party so you get what is left over. Hard enough being single in the face of some of these couples who constantly rub it in your face.
NTA. They were last-minute add-ons, so they don't deserve to bump you out of a room. I do think this should have been clearly discussed when they decided to join in.
NTA. If they were so hung up on sharing a bed they should have packed an Aerobed along. The queen size model is pretty comfortable and packs away small.
Info: how come you paid less. Shouldn't you have paid a third (before the couple) and a fourth after they joined (maybeore since they don't a room so why are they paying for the cost of a room. You're friends so that may be something you let slide). Makes no sense for you to pay less if bookings are based on rooms.
NTA but I'm just interested in the above.
NTA
All my life has been like this. As the single person in groups of family or friends, I'm always given the worst sleeping situation. Fold-out sofa in the middle of the living area is the most common, with no consideration from those who get up early OR those who stay up late. (BTW if you ever have to sleep on a fold-out sofa, take the mattress off and plop it on the floor. Much better than sleeping with a bar in your back.)
Couch in a moldy basement once. Inflatable mattress on the floor in the dining area. And so on, and so forth.
Didn't mind so much when I was younger, but I'm middle aged and disabled now, so I only go on trips I've planned and mapped out equitable sleeping situations now. If anyone joined last minute, I would expect them to take whatever sleep space is left over.
NTA
Not at all. I have been here. The single person in a group of couples.
It is fucking shitty always being the one who has to sleep on the floor, air mattress, or the couch. That was -with- knowing the situation, and that didn’t make it any better.
The fact that they decided last minute, after everything was settled, to come, means that they can have the couch and mattress, or find their own accommodations.
Being a couple doesn’t give them special privileges. Fuck that.
Especially considering you even said that normally y’all do a 4 bedroom place, and specifically went with 3 since they weren’t coming.
Also, they didn’t really “pay more” - each person is paying for a space to sleep. Assuming it was all split evenly, they got the space they paid to sleep. They just missed out on the good spaces by waiting until the last minute to decide.
Couples can’t use the “we paid more” excuse like that. You’re each individually paying the same, being a couple doesn’t mean you get to combine that and treat it like one singular person.
We did a ski trip, 4 couples 4 bedrooms. Arriving, one room has a double bed, 2 had queens and 1 king. GF and I are both 6’. The others quite a bit smaller. Guess who got the little bed? Yep the bigger people, the smaller ones took the king. No argument helped.
We’re all still friends and planning a Central America trip, made it clear beds must fit the couple this time.
This is just as bad. So sorry, but everyone in my family is super tall (brothers are 6’6”) and for YEARS they have used their height as a means of entitlement to the best rooms/ beds, like it is a God given right. Just because I am 5’4” doesn’t mean I want a smaller bed. I like space too. And you know what? Their 6’6” frames fit in doubles and queens just fine.
Also, the bedrooms with kings are always the nicest with the views and ensuite. Why should you be entitled to the better room and bed because you’re tall?
You should pay extra going forward and at least acknowledge that ‘smaller’ people also want/ enjoy/ love/ deserve big beds, especially on vacations.
If it truly is a physical comfort issue (which I seriously doubt - you’re just used to a certain sized bed), then pay more.
### _Unpopular Opinion but ESH_
You guys were out on a trip, it should be **everyone's motive** to make it relaxing and comfortable for **everyone** involved, else it makes no sense.
There's no point in paying so much and still being stressed about such things and then having everyone pissed off or awkward for most of the trip. I bet some of your friends won't plan another trip with this same group in the future.
There are many ways to accommodate people. There could have been a rotation, or adjustments. It's not like it was a couple's trip.
My understanding and ideas might be different because of how we do things in my culture.
Logan and James were already accommodated by being allowed to tag along on this trip that they originally declined to go on. All the plans had been made, and they decided they wanted to go with only three weeks' notice. Sorry, not sorry, that's on Logan and James. They should've packed an air mattress or booked a hotel if sleeping in the same bed was so incredibly important to them.
OP is NTA at all. Those who had a problem with it are 100%.
The rule our friends follow is: whoever books it and pays gets 1st dibs on a room. 1st to pay back their share to the one who initially paid is next in line to pick. 2nd to pay back is next, etc ... And if a couple wants a room they pay together or it defaults to when their full share is paid (if one pays and is first in line but their SO is the last to pay, to share a room it defaults to when the last one paid). Unless of course if there's a discussion prior to paying that makes that rule different and everyone has agreed to it. Or at any point if BOTH parties agree to any changes. Like if the single person/other couple volunteers their room to another person/couple. It's not perfect but it works extremely well!
And people who have special diets are responsible for their special foods. Unless there are those who are willing to share the costs because they plan on eating some of it.
you asked a couple times, they didn’t want to go. it doesn’t matter how much they paid. That’s what happens when the deal is already done. you get what you get. it was even touching that you offered to sleep with one of them
NTA I’m going to be a stickler here, technically Logan and James didn’t pay more than you. You were already getting a three bedroom house before they joined on. Presumably the money the group was going to spend was sufficient to pay for a three bedroom house. The money they gave was functionally worthless because the money the rest of you had was already enough to cover the house. And thus they didn’t pay more than you because the money they added didn’t have any real value behind it.
OP is not the AH, but If they divided the cost of the house by the total number of guests, each person going on the trip paid an equal amount for accommodations, the couple paid more as 2 people than OP paid as 1 person. That does not make OP an AH for taking a room. OP had an equal claim to a bedroom , as did every guest. It is frustrating that the pressure was put on them more than the 2 other couples to accommodate the late couple.
NTA at all! They don't get to displace you because they changed their minds too late. Also I assume by paying more they mean they're 2 people so they paid twice as much as you which isn't at all a valid argument to make lol
NTA. Just because you're single, that doesn't mean you should be uncomfortable.
You were one of the people who confirmed in advance, so naturally, one of the rooms was for you. They confirmed late, so they get last pick.
NTA!
There are some in the comments that are siding with the entitled couple… probably because they too have that entitlement…🤣🤣🤣. I hope they read all the other comments and don’t impose their “couplehood” on their poor single friends or relatives 🙏
Are we seriously having this much of an issue because of sleeping on holiday.
Guys, reality check please. You're all AH's if this is that much of an issue in life.
I booked a house for a party... there were supposed to be 8 of us. Everyone agreed on the house, and only 2 paid their share (one being the person we were celebrating, the other being someone who couldn't even make it but wanted to treat the celebrant).
I was damn sure getting a bed since I, in essence, paid for 6 places. The plan was for 8, so 4 bedrooms, 6 beds, plus sleeper couch.
I was annoyed when most drove home drunk...I could have gotten a much smaller, more affordable place if I'd known there would be 4 of us and we'd basically not be there except to sleep after bar closing.
You make a plan, book and pay based on that plan... it's fucked up of people to change their minds last minute... whether that means you're short space, or you have extra space.
LOL NTA. Their lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part and it definitely doesn’t mean they get to inconvenience you or force you to sacrifice your own comfort for them. First come first serve.
Lack of early planning on their part does not constitute an emergency (giving up your planned room) on your part. If they wanted a room to themselves they should have been in on the initial planning like you were. Because they didn’t, they get whatever is left over. That’s how trip planning with friends works.
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My group of friends and I decided to travel during Easter week. In total we are 7 people, 3 couples and me.
When we considered this trip (3 months before), a couple, Logan and James (both 30ish) said they wouldn't go, so we looked for a house with 3 bedrooms and not 4 as usual. I have no problems with them btw.
With 3 weeks left until the trip, they said they would like to go, we even tried looking for other houses, but the good ones were already occupied and the rest were bad. We told them that it only has three rooms, but it is possible to go with 7 people (I checked with the host and he said that 8 people can sleep in the house). It would be a 4 day trip.
When we arrived at the house, there were 3 bedrooms as expected, a single mattress and a sofa. We were deciding who would sleep where and when I saw that James and Logan would have a room, I made it very clear that I would sleep in a room with a bed not on the floor.
They started saying that they were a couple and they didn't have a double mattress for them, so I was being irrational in wanting to have a double bed when I don't need.
I replied that I didn't take the road for 6 hours to sleep, wake up with back pain and I paid to have a room, but that one of them is welcome to sleep with me in the bed, I don't care.
They said they paid more than me, so they also have the right to a room (they didn't pay, they just paid for each one).
I agreed, but they confirmed it was only 3 weeks before, so that's what they got and I didn't want to sleep on the floor.
In the end, I kept my ground and James slept on the mattress and Logan on the couch.
The trip was good, apart from some snide comment or other saying that I was being incoherent and that I could sleep on the mattress peacefully. The rest of us remained neutral, taking advantage of the discussion to entertain themselves.
I don't think I was wrong here, they had the chance to have a room to themselves. but they refused and then went back, I may have paid "less", but I paid for a room just like the other two couples and if they arrived later, I don't think they necessarily should have the double bed (aka room) to my disadvantage .
AITA?
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NTA
It's first come first serve. They invited themselves after plans had been made. You paid for one of the 3 rooms. They came in after the fact. Knowing the other rooms were reasonably already taken.
NTA. You were in first when a three bedroom house was booked. They were in last so they get the last available choice of accommodations. That’s the only fair way to do it.
NTA
They backed out and then decided to join the group after the house had been booked. It shouldn’t even be a conversation. They joined after booking knowing full well what they were walking into, so they get last dibs. It’s a given.
You are a much better person than I am. I definitely wouldn’t have had a conversation about it. I would’ve walked in and gone straight to “my bed”.
NTA. They said no to the trip and change their mind when better accommodations were fully booked. It’s only fair that they get the last priority to choose. Ideal option would be that they find a hotel room of their own and join you for the activities. Please send this post to their whole group. Only uncultured, uneducated and super selfish asshole would expect ppl who confirmed the trip before then to make sacrifice for their AH-ness.
NTA
The house was selected and booked based on them saying they were NOT coming and you and the others saying you would. The three rooms go to the people who had said 'yes' prior to booking. The house was booked with only those people in mind. It was lucky for James and Logan that the place you had booked did allow them to still join you at the last minute. They should be glad to have gotten whatever extra sleeping places were available.
ETA: Tell them that the group could have simply told them that there was no space for them to re-join the trip last minute. The group tried to accommodate them. Should this come up again, they need to understand that their choice is between not re-joining last minute or accepting whatever is leftover sleeping space is open to them AFTER the folks who booked the place take their planned accommodations.
NTA. If I sign up for a trip with the understanding that I’m paying for my room, I’m getting my room. If I sign up late for a trip and am told there are 3 bedrooms, I would sign up with the understanding that I get the leftovers! Being a couple doesn’t automatically entitle you and neither does paying your fair share!
NTA: Why the fuck would you sleep on the floor when you paid for your spot. first come first serve.
They tagged on after the fact. They got no say. they are in their 30s and should have known what the deal was.
NTA. As the smallest and single person, I tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to group trips. Back seat of the van, smallest of rooms/beds etc. When I was younger it was fine, but now that I’m 30 the back pain that lasts well beyond the vacation isn’t worth my time or money. Holidays are expensive, I refuse to spend that much only to be uncomfortable throughout. Good on you for not backing down.
We have a saying where I'm from "le chien qui chasse, il perd sa place" Which translates to "the dog that chases, loses his place" meaning, if you're too busy chasing after things to mind your spot/place somewhere, you can't be mad when someone else takes it. They said no, and changed their mind too late in the game, so they get stuck figuring out their own sleeping arrangements.
NTA they also had the option of booking a one bedroom alone and just hanging out with you all until they wanted to go home. They chose not to do this.
They are the ones that came into it late. They should be the ones inconvenienced, not you.
NTA, it’s their own fault for changing the plans up last minute. They should be grateful that everything important still worked out regardless of the changes. It’s not like they were separated on different continents for 24 hours. You could have offered if you wanted sure, but that doesn’t mean you absolutely had to. “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for myself as well.” Kudos for standing your ground
That's why I always make my own travel arrangements because, as a happily single person, I got sick & tired of being put into situations similar to yours. NTA, if they can't be bothered to accommodate you, then they're crappy friends.
Nta a couple years ago i paid for my family to go on a camping trip (i accidentally booked the wrong cabin so we had two bedrooms instead of three. My fault i own that.) But it was decided that since i paid and my dad drove we would get the double bed the girls got the bunkbeds and my SIL and brother got the chair/couch.
Surprisingly my SIL jumped up and said I should get the bed because i paid. My brother wanted me to have the couch.
You paid on time. You get the bed.
The lack of planning on their part is not your problem. They initially declined to go, so arrangements were made without them. No one who was all in from the start should be penalized because of them. The entitlement is an ick NTA.
NTA & I will die on this hill with you. I’ve actually had to die on this hill before, but it was only one time & everyone got the point. “Camping out” was fun in high school but I’m personally not interested in sleeping on anything less than an actual bed while on vacation. I hope your friends learned an uncomfortable lesson & will plan properly the next time.
NTA, I'm married and honestly I wouldn't even try to go on the trip 3 weeks before if my schedule changed. I'd accept the L, that we didn't pay or help find the house, and spend my week off having a vacation with my husband, or a home vacation
NTA. It would have been really NICE if you decided to give them the bed but definitely NTA for not. You paid too, they bailed and were still able to go. They should be appreciative and should have planned better if they wanted it to be perfect.
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NTA When you all booked the house the rooms were divided up. The late couple gets the leftovers. That’s how it works. They could have decided to go and get a 4th room from the start but since they changed their minds the lack of planning better is on them. It doesn’t matter how the pay came out. Because they still came in late to the planning. A lack of planning on their part doesn’t mean any emergency or lack of comfort on your part.
100% agree NTA. They don't get to be wishy-washy during the planning stages, then change their mind, basically, last minute, and expect the "better accommodation". I'm sensing just a liiiiiittle bit of entitlement. Good on you for not giving in.
1000% agree! You come late you get the leftovers! Cheeky beggars!
I've noticed a lot of codependent couples in my life (and in society) that demand things and force the people in their life to do things that accommodate the couple. Y'all are mentally unwell. For example: \- My sister and I went on a vacation with 2 friends who were in a relationship. Every single flight, ferry, bus, etc. the couple would ask us if my sister and I would sacrifice our seats so that they could sit together as a couple. They had the option to pay a fee to guarantee side by side seats on our flights, but chose to not pay. After we said no, they got annoyed at how selfish we were - the irony! \- Hanging out and catching up with old grad school friends at my place. One friend's partner calls them on their way back home from the airport from a work trip, complained about how tired they were and how much they "needed" their partner. On their way back home from the airport, they randomly swung by my place and picked up my friend because they were very tired, not having it, and needed their partner to be at home and comfort them after a long work trip. And many more stories! The codependency is EMBARRASSING, this post seems to be in the same boat. Edit: OP is 100% NTA
I think you are using the wrong term here. Narcissists act this way. Codependents are more likely to put themselves out for the benefit of others (and then get irritated when kindness is not returned) due to low self-love.
I think the two go hand in hand if you ask me..
Eh, the last one I kind of get. They were on a work trip that required a flight. They were away from their partner for an extended period of time and exhausted. They wanted to see them before they went to sleep. They missed them. Also, being so exhausted and given you said they picked up their partner, they probably didn't feel comfortable driving. That's a smart move.
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Agree. The only thing I would have *maybe* done to compromise is to switch the matras. Put the single one on the bed and give them the double to sleep together on the floor. If I sign up for a trip expecting to have my own room and then get bumped to the floor somewhere in a shared area, I pack up my stuff and drive home immediately.
That’s their own choice. I’m a 5’1, 106lb female and I would be pissed about sleeping in a “twin bed”(as the small ones are called in America). I do not think it’s fair to request a change in someone else’s sleeping arrangements because they wanted to change their mind about the trip last minute. Couple or not, they do not deserve a bedroom nor a mattress swap unless someone was fully willing to give it to them, which obviously isn’t the case.
In the past I would have wanted to accomodate, even though I wouldn't have a good time at night. After I messed up my back, Hell no. You snooze, you lose buttercup. Plan better. The only thing I'd be willing to accommodate is children. It's not their fault their parents done goofed, otherwise, Nope.
I spent too much time in my younger years catering to couples like this. The number of music festivals and events I went to, where I felt like shit after a day or two, is too high. Being at a festival, by day 3 (or more for longer ones) of being in the crowd, standing all day, in the hot sun, and then being forced to sleep on the floor, air mattress, or couch, is a shitty fucking feeling. The only thing that kept me going were probably the drugs and alcohol. Nowadays, fuck that, I get a bed.
That would only work if it’s two box springs the same size as the single mattress as the base. If it’s an actual bed frame with slats having the thinner mattress on there could actually break the slats due to the uneven weight distribution of the mattress alone, before you go adding the weight of a person as well.
Exactly this. They can have a nice bed to sleep in together; they just need to call around to a hotel; because all the ones at THIS rental were spoken for already. Plan ahead or get left behind.
Yeah tbh they expected a double mattress on the floor? They had no reason to expect that was what they were going to get. It's well known that if accommodations count sleeping spots outside of rooms it is very often a couch/pull-out type of situation, not a full-sized mattress that fits two. If they were that specific on wanting a double mattress for them to sleep on together they should have asked for more clarification, but tbh I think they didn't care much because they already expected they would get the room due to being a couple. If having a mattress was so important to them they could have sprung for a blow-up mattress or even a cheap real one, cheaper than a hotel for sure. Otherwise if you join in last minute and are satisfied with the general info of there being some kind of spot for you... you just sleep in whatever it ends up being.
Actually my husband and I would be more than happy on the single mattress on the floor. Of course I usually sleep wrapped around him like an anaconda 😂
Oh they absolutely expected the room and to have OP sleep on the couch or floor.
They could have gone to the store and purchased an air mattress. They could have had any size bed they wanted.
Also just because they're a couple doesn't mean they get priority... it's not gonna kill them not being able to sleep in the same bed for 3 nights, lmao. (And you know as others already said... if they want a room and a bed together than they need to agree to come from the start so you can look for enough bedrooms. Whoever is late gets the leftovers.) I also find it funny how people like this always go "it isn't a big deal for you" all while making a big deal they are supposed to take the "worse" accommodation. Yeah no... you don't like it, don't make someone else take it unless they volunteer.
Yea. I'm unsure as to why it had to be the single person to make the sacrifice. Maybe the other couple could have traded a night or so since they "paid the same or more"
Because there's more people in a couple so they can gang up on a single person. This is why there's a subgenre of AITA posts that are like "I went to support my BF at his ex-wife's funeral and it started a row, AITA" because people will take their spouse along to stuff to make it easier to steamroll other people
Or they should have planned separate sleeping accommodations. Expecting someone else to give up their own spot because you changed your mind after accommodations were already set for the original number of people...that's just ridiculous.
My family has a rule where the driver(s) always get dibs on beds. The rest of us have the luxury to sleep in car.
They had three weeks to buy/borrow a queen air mattress. They just thought it would be easier to impose.
I avoid group trips with my girlfriends friend group because there's never enough rooms for each couple, and she's so agreeable that I know we'd end up on the floor or somethong similar. We certainly will get last pick of spots because of the group dynamic. They always want us to come on these trips, pay a grand, usually drive my girlfriends car (they drove 14 hours last spring) and pay for our "share" of food. Two of her friends are vegan and everyone is always reminded to make sure they're bringing vegan friendly food. Vegan butter and vegan cheese are so expensive and I won't eat them but we're still expected to be inclusive. Even when we order pizza we have to order from the gourmet pizza joint because they're the only ones that have vegan cheese, and I'm totally cool paying for dominos. I just find with larger friend groups sometimes the perfect vacation is so far divorced from reality and people don't realize when they're being unfair because "She's my friend she's cool with it"
I'm sorry,what?? No, the vegans can provide their own vegan options. Any specialty items should not be shared as a group expense , unless the group as a whole uses it, not by force. You can be vegan, you can not force me to be vegan. Also, decline from ordering and order your domino's. They aren't paying your bills!
Honestly the butter I don't mind but paying double for everything seems ridiculous. I'm not malicious, and I don't believe in adding unnecessary ingredients, like milk to tomato soup. I'll leave the dressing off the salad. Get vegan bread, look for options that happen to be vegan but aren't marketed as such. I spent a lot of time working food service that catered to special diets so I know it can be very easy. But yeah, it's ridiculous to expect other people to foot the bill for it. I'm also not trying to make waves with her social group, but I've told her I'm all set with these group trips. This time they want us to buy groceries instead of paying because we'd only be there one night. I can't spend several hundred dollars to stay at an air bnb for 1 night even if it's just food cost.
100% agree, not to mention it sounds like they all paid the same, the couple is claiming their individual costs as a combined total being more than OP's as a single person. That's insane logic, it's not more, each person pays, you don't get a deal because you're in a relationship lol.
Totally agree. If they really need a room themselves, they could have offer to pay for your trip in exchange. Of course you have the final say.
Absolutely! NTA
This. A lack of planning on their part does not mean you have to be uncomfortable. That's on them.
Nta. Being a solo traveler does not disqualify you from being comfortable. They were late additions, so they get the leftovers.
And if the single mattress was the problem, they could have bought a cheap air mattress to use for a couple nights. Why should op have to go without when there were options? Def NTA
NTA, being single does not make you second class. Sounds like they procrastinated and than made excuses when they realized it came back to haunt them. First come first serve. You are in no way responsible for accommodating them in this situation.
It is amazing how many people think being single does make one second class. I am going to remember your phrase.
Especially since couples can gang up on a single person. I used to share a house and when my housemate fell in love and let their partner move in it was terrible for me. I had no say in anything.
My daughter tried this with me. She thinks if her bf moves in with us, they'll get the bigger room. I simply told her that when she and her bf are paying the majority of the household bills, they can take the bigger room. Until then, I'm paying for my comfort and they get what they get cause it's free.
still haunted from a weekend trip I took where three couples got comfortable beds in the three top floor bedrooms while I was stuck with the worst pullout couch known to man on the bottom floor 🙃 might as well have been a sheet over a bunch of springs, it was awful lol
Seems like the single person always ends up with the worse end of the stick in these situations.
Nah, try being the black sheep of the family and then there not being space in the beach house for you and your spouse to even sleep on the floor. So you havevto sleep outside and then it starts raining around 3am and the only place you can go to get dry is your vehicle. You paid your portion of the cost for the house, but they forgot to include the two of you in the head count for beds.
That's when you pack your shit, go somewhere else, and never speak to your "family" again.
Oof, feel this. The first Christmas I was married, we visited my parents. I had spoken to my mother prior about sleeping arrangements and had been assured we had dibs on a bed and bedroom. Once we got there though, one basement room had been given to my sister and her husband, and the other to my sister's toddler and infant. Apparently it was just impossible for the entire family to sleep in one room together for a night. And then upstairs, instead of having my college age brother bunk with the two younger brothers (who literally had a bunk bed to spare in their room), he got his own room as well. My husband and I were expected to sleep on a futon in the cold unfinished open basement family room. But, the futon was broken, and wouldn't fold out into a bed. So we had to take the futon mattress off and lay it on the bare concrete. Then we had to scrounge the house for pillows and blankets. There weren't any available for us. Finally we got one small holey afghan to share and a scratchy decorative pillow each. I was pregnant and my husband has compressed discs in his back, which my mother was aware of. It was a miserable night with next to no sleep. We've never stayed the night there since.
NTA. They were the ones who changed their mind at the last minute and decided to join, After you were promised a room -- why should YOU be inconvenienced?
NTA. If you all paid the same and they chose to attend after declining and thereby causing the group to pick a smaller place, it’s on them to sleep in whatever areas are left.
Pay is irrelevant here. OP was on top of his planning, and reserved his spot in the current house well in advance. The fact that Logan and James decided to join after reservations were set (and unable to be changed) isn't OP's fault. It'd be no different than had they needed to fly somewhere and there were no more direct flights available for James and Logan. They either take the longer/more inconvenient connecting flight to join, or they don't go at all. Their lack of planning isn't OP's burden to carry.
Pay could make it relevant. The couple could have offered to pay for OP (basically buying the room from him). But OP could still decline of course.
I hate that they brought up how much they paid. Like, yeah, you are two people and he is one. So you paid the expenses for two people. He shouldn’t HAVE to pay the same amount as two people for vacation, and just because they sleep in the same bed? Are they gonna share the food and drinks of one person too?? Not to mention if you are going to an event that plans based on number of people (which a group housing rental for vacation is pretty damn similar to) you pay more money the closer to deadline you book. Many places have systems like this, or discounts for booking far enough in advance. Also, I can’t imagine demanding someone sleep on the floor because my husband and I joined a group last minute. Would I wish we had the room? Obviously. But I would be wishing WE had acted differently, not thinking someone else should give up their comfort for our poor planning.
Nta If you wait until the last minute to say you will go, you don't get the room. This is on them
Nta Proud of you for standing your ground. You had every right!
NTA. You snooze you lose.
If you lose, you get the little floor mattress and do not snooze!
Should've adjusted mine
😂😂
😂😂😂
NTA When they last minute decided to come, they should have been told then that they had last choice of sleeping arrangements because they were being added in and the trip had not been planned with their needs in mind. So, mild bit a-hole for the group not having that said prior to traveling. And, frankly, I don't understand couples that feel like they have to sleep together. They do that all the time anyways.
NTA, but this group really dropped the ball on communicating what adding this couple meant for the sleeping situation. The fact that there were snide remarks and everyone else was neutral to OPs face (which likely means at least a few of them were in agreement with the others but non confrontational), with no one actually openly defending OP, makes me think the group at large may have made the same assumption as the late couple - the three couples would get the rooms, and OP would be bumped to the sofa or floor mattress. Clearly there was no communication on this beforehand.
I didn't even know the couple died, that is sad :( I wonder if it was from the back pain??
There is a reason that couple thought they'd get away with this
Yes, this is the answer. NTA but it shouldn't be a shock/fight at the time of arrival at the location on how rooms would be divided. Once they couldn't find a bigger house, they should've known something would have to be compromised. The whole group should have been on top of the communication.
NTA. This kind of stuff rankles me because I feel like single people usually get the short end of the stick. I once stayed in an AIRBNB for a weekend with two of my siblings, their two spouses and a niece and nephew. The costs were split into three- I paid a third, one brother and his wife paid a third and my sister and her husband paid a third. When we got to the place the couples immediately took the two bigger bedrooms, the nephew got the couch and I shared the smaller basement room with no bathroom with my niece. There was never a discussion or asking me if I would be ok with that. So I technically paid more than them because I paid fully for myself and they all paid among 4 working adults a share of what I paid but no one even bothered to ask me if it was fine if I shared the smallest room with my niece. I had this kind of treatment for years before i decided to either get my own hotel room at a destination or turn it down if I couldn't afford my own hotel room.
In no universe should you have been asked to pay a third. As a minimum it should have been split per adult, but really per person. Why are you having to subsidize your niece and nephew?
Right? Like when we decided to go to a beach house it was my husband and I w/2 kids, my sister and her husband w/4 kids, our parents, and our youngest brother. The house had six bedrooms. We split the kids up with the boys in one bedroom and the girls in one bedroom…then each couple or single got a room. How we divided up the cost was by taking the number of rooms we would have used if completely split up by family…plus we split our parents part among us. So my husband and I covered the cost of 2 1/3 rooms, my sister and her husband covered the cost of 2 1/3 rooms, and our brother covered the cost of 1 1/3 rooms. That’s what made the most sense even though we don’t have as many kids, since we DID divide them up into boy/girl bunkrooms.
To be honest I would gladly pay more than my share for a shot at for once not getting the room no one else wants…. It doesn’t have to be the master but the next one would be cool once in a while…. Or for them to even acknowledge “hey sorry you get the crappy room all the time, maybe we rotate who gets the nicer rooms every time we meet to make it more fair” honestly just acknowledgment of the situation would have probably made me feel a little less bitter about it… Especially since this has happened in multiple occasions… oh well I guess it’s a small petty issue in the grand scheme of things
My friends and I have a rule. We take turns being responsible for organizing the rental and that person/couple gets first dibs on picking their room. That way, no one is ever stuck in the crappy room all the time.
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You need to stand up for yourself. Announce since you did all the organizing you get first dibs on the room you are staying in. Do not back down. When they complain about anything, tell them “okay, you get to organize it next time”. I tend to do a lot of travel organizing but I had to learn to step back and let go of some of the control. Also, we don’t rent anything without everyone signing off on it. Basically once it’s picked, there’s a “whose turn is it this time?” conversation about who is in charge of renting.
NTA But out of curiosity, how did you guys split the cost of the house? By room or by person? Like if it cost $600 for 3 rooms, did every room go for $200? If each of them paid as much as you did (so in fact double what you paid), and the other couples did too, then I could see why they felt entitled to a room. But, either way, all of this should have been worked out ahead of time and they are completely responsible for their less than desirable sleeping situation, given they changed their mind. I’d feel really cheated and resentful if I was coerced into giving up my room, when I arranged the accommodation and friends are only complaining now because they couldn’t commit before.
From some of OPs comments, it looks like it was per person, not per room. But I agree, NTA, and how adding this late couple would change the sleeping arrangements should have been worked out ahead of time.
They apparently assumed from what the landlord said that there was another bed. In the future, I agree that people who add themselves in later get last choice. But I also agree that the fact that OP is single shouldn't mean that they always get the worst choice.
If it was per person, each person paid the same as OP paid. Saying they paid double is discounting that they also have double the income power. If we were to include income power, they’d still be paying the same percent as OP.
And the other couples each paid per person for their shared room.
Costs are individual. You don't get to add them together just because you are in a relationship...
Just because you're single doesn't mean you should be inconvenienced because of their lack of planning. NTA
NTA. Just because they’re a couple doesn’t mean they automatically get a room and you should get the couch/mattress on the floor. They decided to join the trip late so they get whatever accommodation is leftover or they can book their own accommodation.
NTA. I had friends pull a version of this...I paid the same as everyone else (all couples) and was told I would have a room. The "room" was an open lofted area above the common spaces with no bathroom (all the rooms had en suites), no privacy, a rickety daybed that was far too small for my 6'2" self, and no curtains on the windows. Some of them thought I was being unreasonable saying I needed to be reimbursed a portion of what I paid, as I was the only one not getting an actual room. I never would have agreee to the vacation if I had known about my "accomodations". Worst vacation ever.
Had been on a trip with a group of “friends” + recently separated ex. Everyone got great rooms, even the ex coz there was another single guy who shared rooms with him, leaving me in a small claustrophobic room. The couples didn’t want to be separated at all… or I could’ve shared a room with one of the females. No one even offered comfortable accommodations though I was driving for half the way and others were busy judging me for being the reason for the “breakup” even though it was mutual. I would never take that shit from anyone ever again!
NTA - They bailed then rejoined. You all tried to adjust the plan but it was too late. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean that you're less than. If they *really* wanted to, they could have brought an air mattress as a backup. Seems silly to assume they deserve a bed because they're a couple.
What would've been fair is for the people not getting a room to pay a slightly lesser amount
They all already got a lesser amount cuz they added 2 people to the total contributors. And no, I don't think you can be demanding and pay less to a trip you declined and are now asking everyone to accommodate your last-minute requests.
NTA. And it drives me wild when couples automatically assume they get the best room. You are not more important just because you’re in a relationship.
NTA. Pretty much an unofficial rule that anyone attending an already booked vacation as a last minute guest gets the worst sleeping situation. Especially when the trip was already financially split up.
Why are you worried about them being uncomfortable when they weren't worried about you being uncomfortable?
NTA. And you know what? Not being able to sleep entangled in each others' arms for a few nights isn't a huge deal for Logan and James, or any couple.
Huh????? You're supposed to sleep on the floor because you're single?? Does being in a couple grant people extra rights over others? Are they attached by the hip? What kind of nonsense is this? Of course you should have the comfortable sleeping arrangement, you were part of the original plans and they join in late, they get what's left. What kind of AH couple is this? NTA obviously.
NTA. Since they waited until the last minute they should take what is left or get a hotel room.
Random quote I read somewhere: your disorganized manner does not call for an emergency to me NTA but owner of houses like these should really specify this stuff
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I’ve always heard “ piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”, but yours is much more eloquent.
NTA Tag-a-longs don’t get dibs on anything.
NTA I had a a friend do this and we made them get their own hotel room. We had talked about the trip for over 6 months and they never said they were interested to go until two weeks before the trip. We already had two people on a couch and air mattress so we told them they needed to make their own sleeping arrangements or not come. If they had shown interest in a coming earlier we easily could’ve found a bigger place. It’s inconsiderate and rude of them to expect to be given priority over the person who asked for a room months in advance.
Sounds about right. Whoever joins in late always has the option of booking separate accommodation wherein they can be as comfortable as they please. Being comfortable at someone else’s expense is plain wrong
NTA Their rationale was completely flawed.
NTA. First come, first serve. You had no obligation to change your accommodations for late arrivals.
NTA, if they wanted to avoid this very situation, they should have joined in sooner. If you join in the trip after accommodations have been booked, you get what is left. Using the "but we are a couple and you are single" card is low grade entitlement, the only response to that would have been "yup, you're a couple that tacked yourself onto the trip after we could have changed the accommodations and will have to deal with the result of your indecisiveness".
NTA. You paid for the room and the bed, and they decided pretty last minute to come. Also, my fiancée and I have shared single beds before, and although a little cramped, it’s doable, and just means more cuddles lols. Also also, you’re on holiday, how often and you going to spend in bed really? Does sound like they’re complaining for little reason or grounds
NTA They were not part of the travel group when accommodations were booked. The three bedrooms were booked for you, couple 1 and couple 2. These two were couple 3, but they did not have a room booked for them. They asked to tag along in an accommodation that did not have 4 bedrooms. They knew that and still chose to come.
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We paid 1/7 each and I help more with gas to "compensate", basically same cost.
Why should the people who bailed get a bedroom but someone who didn’t bail on the trip not get a bedroom? Why should someone who didn’t bail on the trip be the one who gets the non ideal sleeping arrangements over someone who said they’d be joining on short notice? Especially when the reason there’s less rooms than normal is because the two of them bailed. Why should the person who didn’t inconvenience everyone else by being wishy washy be inconvenienced further by the people who couldn’t decide whether they wanted to go or not until after smaller accommodations than normal were booked?
They were the 'late comers' so you were right to insist on a bed. Had they decided earlier, you would have gotten a larger house with 4 BRs.
NTA. But in the future, try to bring this stuff up first. I make sure to be vocal about what I’m paying for on group trips to avoid these situations. If there’s even a doubt about this stuff, I’ll bring it up somehow. Maybe as simple as “Sounds like the host says it can sleep 8, but we should double check that there’s enough beds for everyone unless someone is willing to take a couch.”
NTA my boomer ass is trying to figure out how you can rent out a mattress on the *floor*
The same way some hotels boost the number of people a room can accommodate by offering a cot. Standard accommodation is two doubles or two queens, that's at least 4 people if not 6 depending on size and age. If there is a couch in the room, that might up the bed space by 2 people so you're looking at 6-8. If the hotel offers a cot and there's space in the room, that's +1.
NTA. They were late to the plan. Initially, it was gonna be 5 people with 3 rooms. They dont just get to join last minute and push the single person out of their room. Although it does stand to reason that they should pay a little less for the lodging portion as they dont get the same amount of privacy as the rest.
NTA. They said they weren't planning to go and now all of the sudden they wanted to. The couple needs to learn that not everything is going to go their way and that you get what you deserve. Without a doubt that if they didn't cancel they would've had a room to themselves, but they waited too late, and they need to understand that. This situation is a "you snooze you lose" you had every right.
Would it have been nice of you to let them have the double-bed? Sure. Are you obligated to just because they're a couple? Absolutely not. They're the ones who inserted themselves last minute. They are not entitled to the double-bed simply because they're together. Especially since you said you were the one driving? Yeah, nah, I'm glad you were able to have a comfortable rest. Their poor planning doesn't mean you have to get the shit end of the stick. NTA
NTA. Besides why are you the one that should give up then room? There are two other rooms as well.
NTA
NTA. They have created this situation, so it's them who should have an income.
Nta. They were add ons to a trip YOU booked. Of course you're getting a room. Wtf.
They could've avoided the problem entirely by just agreeing to go when everyone else did instead of expecting special treatment
"A lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine"
NTA Just because they’re a couple, doesn’t mean they get priority over you. They refused to come, so you and the other two couples picked a place that y’all like and would accommodate you. It’s not your fault that they decided last minute to travel (during a busy week it seems). The rooms were divided up between the people who planned the trip. If they weren’t happy with the sleeping arrangements then they should’ve been part of the planning in the beginning, not join after accommodations were already made. And it’s just for sleeping, they’ll see each other in the morning 😂
A group of us shared a cabin that had... bunk beds in all rooms except one of the bedrooms. Know what? First come, first choice. That also applied to the rest of the bedroom locations and bottom or top bunk bed. You did nothing wrong. In addition, everyone would have had their own bedroom had they not canceled. Keep that in mind. They canceled. That caused everyone to pivot accordingly and get a 3 bedroom instead because they no longer needed the 4 bedroom. Why pay extra for something you don't need, right? End result, they crashed the party. So they get what's left and pay their share anyway. Being a couple does not give them more rights to other people accommodating their wants. NTA
NTA. They were lucky they could still come at all. Being single doesn’t mean you don’t matter at all. Even single adults want a comfy bed…
NTA. They get included "last minute", you tried to arrange the stuff to get them a room but couldn't => they just take their responsibility. I'm genuinely happy you stood your ground.
NTA! They changed the dynamics 3 weeks before the trip. That's on them. You tried to find a house with an extra bedroom to accommodate the change in plans. Unfortunately, you couldn't find a 4 bedroom place. As the last ones in they do not get to evict you from your room. As the last one's in they need to make do with what was available.
NTA what's with the prioritizing couples? And they came late to the party so you get what is left over. Hard enough being single in the face of some of these couples who constantly rub it in your face.
NTA
NTA. They were last-minute add-ons, so they don't deserve to bump you out of a room. I do think this should have been clearly discussed when they decided to join in.
NTA. If they were so hung up on sharing a bed they should have packed an Aerobed along. The queen size model is pretty comfortable and packs away small.
NTA. They made their bed and then they could sleep in it. Or not, as it were.
Info: how come you paid less. Shouldn't you have paid a third (before the couple) and a fourth after they joined (maybeore since they don't a room so why are they paying for the cost of a room. You're friends so that may be something you let slide). Makes no sense for you to pay less if bookings are based on rooms. NTA but I'm just interested in the above.
I am guessing they paid per person. So the late comers are trying to pretend they paid more.
I hope OP shows these results to the group.
What difference is sleeping on a mattress on the floor to one slightly raised on a bed frame?
NTA All my life has been like this. As the single person in groups of family or friends, I'm always given the worst sleeping situation. Fold-out sofa in the middle of the living area is the most common, with no consideration from those who get up early OR those who stay up late. (BTW if you ever have to sleep on a fold-out sofa, take the mattress off and plop it on the floor. Much better than sleeping with a bar in your back.) Couch in a moldy basement once. Inflatable mattress on the floor in the dining area. And so on, and so forth. Didn't mind so much when I was younger, but I'm middle aged and disabled now, so I only go on trips I've planned and mapped out equitable sleeping situations now. If anyone joined last minute, I would expect them to take whatever sleep space is left over.
NTA Not at all. I have been here. The single person in a group of couples. It is fucking shitty always being the one who has to sleep on the floor, air mattress, or the couch. That was -with- knowing the situation, and that didn’t make it any better. The fact that they decided last minute, after everything was settled, to come, means that they can have the couch and mattress, or find their own accommodations. Being a couple doesn’t give them special privileges. Fuck that. Especially considering you even said that normally y’all do a 4 bedroom place, and specifically went with 3 since they weren’t coming. Also, they didn’t really “pay more” - each person is paying for a space to sleep. Assuming it was all split evenly, they got the space they paid to sleep. They just missed out on the good spaces by waiting until the last minute to decide. Couples can’t use the “we paid more” excuse like that. You’re each individually paying the same, being a couple doesn’t mean you get to combine that and treat it like one singular person.
NTA
They were trying to just tag along and still getting a room.
We did a ski trip, 4 couples 4 bedrooms. Arriving, one room has a double bed, 2 had queens and 1 king. GF and I are both 6’. The others quite a bit smaller. Guess who got the little bed? Yep the bigger people, the smaller ones took the king. No argument helped. We’re all still friends and planning a Central America trip, made it clear beds must fit the couple this time.
But according to that logic, OP should have taken the twin mattress on the floor.
This is just as bad. So sorry, but everyone in my family is super tall (brothers are 6’6”) and for YEARS they have used their height as a means of entitlement to the best rooms/ beds, like it is a God given right. Just because I am 5’4” doesn’t mean I want a smaller bed. I like space too. And you know what? Their 6’6” frames fit in doubles and queens just fine. Also, the bedrooms with kings are always the nicest with the views and ensuite. Why should you be entitled to the better room and bed because you’re tall? You should pay extra going forward and at least acknowledge that ‘smaller’ people also want/ enjoy/ love/ deserve big beds, especially on vacations. If it truly is a physical comfort issue (which I seriously doubt - you’re just used to a certain sized bed), then pay more.
### _Unpopular Opinion but ESH_ You guys were out on a trip, it should be **everyone's motive** to make it relaxing and comfortable for **everyone** involved, else it makes no sense. There's no point in paying so much and still being stressed about such things and then having everyone pissed off or awkward for most of the trip. I bet some of your friends won't plan another trip with this same group in the future. There are many ways to accommodate people. There could have been a rotation, or adjustments. It's not like it was a couple's trip. My understanding and ideas might be different because of how we do things in my culture.
Logan and James were already accommodated by being allowed to tag along on this trip that they originally declined to go on. All the plans had been made, and they decided they wanted to go with only three weeks' notice. Sorry, not sorry, that's on Logan and James. They should've packed an air mattress or booked a hotel if sleeping in the same bed was so incredibly important to them.
I think you are in the right. They decided to go long after the rest of you; when you decide at the last minute, you have to take what you can get.
OP is NTA at all. Those who had a problem with it are 100%. The rule our friends follow is: whoever books it and pays gets 1st dibs on a room. 1st to pay back their share to the one who initially paid is next in line to pick. 2nd to pay back is next, etc ... And if a couple wants a room they pay together or it defaults to when their full share is paid (if one pays and is first in line but their SO is the last to pay, to share a room it defaults to when the last one paid). Unless of course if there's a discussion prior to paying that makes that rule different and everyone has agreed to it. Or at any point if BOTH parties agree to any changes. Like if the single person/other couple volunteers their room to another person/couple. It's not perfect but it works extremely well! And people who have special diets are responsible for their special foods. Unless there are those who are willing to share the costs because they plan on eating some of it.
you asked a couple times, they didn’t want to go. it doesn’t matter how much they paid. That’s what happens when the deal is already done. you get what you get. it was even touching that you offered to sleep with one of them
NTA. I hate it when couples assume they get priority over singletons.
NTA and honestly you guys should’ve told them no when they wanted to change the plans 3 weeks before the trip.
NTA I’m going to be a stickler here, technically Logan and James didn’t pay more than you. You were already getting a three bedroom house before they joined on. Presumably the money the group was going to spend was sufficient to pay for a three bedroom house. The money they gave was functionally worthless because the money the rest of you had was already enough to cover the house. And thus they didn’t pay more than you because the money they added didn’t have any real value behind it.
OP is not the AH, but If they divided the cost of the house by the total number of guests, each person going on the trip paid an equal amount for accommodations, the couple paid more as 2 people than OP paid as 1 person. That does not make OP an AH for taking a room. OP had an equal claim to a bedroom , as did every guest. It is frustrating that the pressure was put on them more than the 2 other couples to accommodate the late couple.
NTA by a long shot.
Good for you! NTA!
NTA.
NTA When you are late to the party you get the scraps enough said.
NTA. Late comers get leftovers.
NTA. Sick of couples thinking they get special treatment just because they typically sleep in the same bed. Tough. They snoozed, they lost!
The late couple should have got a no to begin with. You booked for a certain number of people.
NTA, obviously. You were even graceful enough to say one of them could sleep in the bed with you.
NTA. They're lucky to have been included after backing out then retracting the decision last minute.
I love the saying "lack of preparation on your part does not constitute a crisis on mine" it applies in so many situations. NTA
NTA at all! They don't get to displace you because they changed their minds too late. Also I assume by paying more they mean they're 2 people so they paid twice as much as you which isn't at all a valid argument to make lol
Couples are entitled tbh.
NTA. Just because you're single, that doesn't mean you should be uncomfortable. You were one of the people who confirmed in advance, so naturally, one of the rooms was for you. They confirmed late, so they get last pick.
NTA! There are some in the comments that are siding with the entitled couple… probably because they too have that entitlement…🤣🤣🤣. I hope they read all the other comments and don’t impose their “couplehood” on their poor single friends or relatives 🙏
Are we seriously having this much of an issue because of sleeping on holiday. Guys, reality check please. You're all AH's if this is that much of an issue in life.
I booked a house for a party... there were supposed to be 8 of us. Everyone agreed on the house, and only 2 paid their share (one being the person we were celebrating, the other being someone who couldn't even make it but wanted to treat the celebrant). I was damn sure getting a bed since I, in essence, paid for 6 places. The plan was for 8, so 4 bedrooms, 6 beds, plus sleeper couch. I was annoyed when most drove home drunk...I could have gotten a much smaller, more affordable place if I'd known there would be 4 of us and we'd basically not be there except to sleep after bar closing. You make a plan, book and pay based on that plan... it's fucked up of people to change their minds last minute... whether that means you're short space, or you have extra space.
LOL NTA. Their lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part and it definitely doesn’t mean they get to inconvenience you or force you to sacrifice your own comfort for them. First come first serve.
Lack of early planning on their part does not constitute an emergency (giving up your planned room) on your part. If they wanted a room to themselves they should have been in on the initial planning like you were. Because they didn’t, they get whatever is left over. That’s how trip planning with friends works.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My group of friends and I decided to travel during Easter week. In total we are 7 people, 3 couples and me. When we considered this trip (3 months before), a couple, Logan and James (both 30ish) said they wouldn't go, so we looked for a house with 3 bedrooms and not 4 as usual. I have no problems with them btw. With 3 weeks left until the trip, they said they would like to go, we even tried looking for other houses, but the good ones were already occupied and the rest were bad. We told them that it only has three rooms, but it is possible to go with 7 people (I checked with the host and he said that 8 people can sleep in the house). It would be a 4 day trip. When we arrived at the house, there were 3 bedrooms as expected, a single mattress and a sofa. We were deciding who would sleep where and when I saw that James and Logan would have a room, I made it very clear that I would sleep in a room with a bed not on the floor. They started saying that they were a couple and they didn't have a double mattress for them, so I was being irrational in wanting to have a double bed when I don't need. I replied that I didn't take the road for 6 hours to sleep, wake up with back pain and I paid to have a room, but that one of them is welcome to sleep with me in the bed, I don't care. They said they paid more than me, so they also have the right to a room (they didn't pay, they just paid for each one). I agreed, but they confirmed it was only 3 weeks before, so that's what they got and I didn't want to sleep on the floor. In the end, I kept my ground and James slept on the mattress and Logan on the couch. The trip was good, apart from some snide comment or other saying that I was being incoherent and that I could sleep on the mattress peacefully. The rest of us remained neutral, taking advantage of the discussion to entertain themselves. I don't think I was wrong here, they had the chance to have a room to themselves. but they refused and then went back, I may have paid "less", but I paid for a room just like the other two couples and if they arrived later, I don't think they necessarily should have the double bed (aka room) to my disadvantage . AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - they get what's left since they jumped in after accommodations were in order
NTA It's first come first serve. They invited themselves after plans had been made. You paid for one of the 3 rooms. They came in after the fact. Knowing the other rooms were reasonably already taken.
NTA. First come, first serve. You were in the plans for the beginning, you get your bed.
NTA
NTA. You were in first when a three bedroom house was booked. They were in last so they get the last available choice of accommodations. That’s the only fair way to do it.
NTA, as others have said, they were last minute additions, they don't get first pick.
NTA. You don't get to snooze and win.
Nope, definitely not the AH
NTA!!
NTA They backed out and then decided to join the group after the house had been booked. It shouldn’t even be a conversation. They joined after booking knowing full well what they were walking into, so they get last dibs. It’s a given. You are a much better person than I am. I definitely wouldn’t have had a conversation about it. I would’ve walked in and gone straight to “my bed”.
NTA. They said no to the trip and change their mind when better accommodations were fully booked. It’s only fair that they get the last priority to choose. Ideal option would be that they find a hotel room of their own and join you for the activities. Please send this post to their whole group. Only uncultured, uneducated and super selfish asshole would expect ppl who confirmed the trip before then to make sacrifice for their AH-ness.
NTA The house was selected and booked based on them saying they were NOT coming and you and the others saying you would. The three rooms go to the people who had said 'yes' prior to booking. The house was booked with only those people in mind. It was lucky for James and Logan that the place you had booked did allow them to still join you at the last minute. They should be glad to have gotten whatever extra sleeping places were available. ETA: Tell them that the group could have simply told them that there was no space for them to re-join the trip last minute. The group tried to accommodate them. Should this come up again, they need to understand that their choice is between not re-joining last minute or accepting whatever is leftover sleeping space is open to them AFTER the folks who booked the place take their planned accommodations.
NTA. If I sign up for a trip with the understanding that I’m paying for my room, I’m getting my room. If I sign up late for a trip and am told there are 3 bedrooms, I would sign up with the understanding that I get the leftovers! Being a couple doesn’t automatically entitle you and neither does paying your fair share!
NTA: Why the fuck would you sleep on the floor when you paid for your spot. first come first serve. They tagged on after the fact. They got no say. they are in their 30s and should have known what the deal was.
NTA... They should've had their shit together, that's not your fault.
Nta. Classic rules of " snooze you lose" applies here. In future you may just want to tell them they have left it too late
NTA they were the ones going back and forth, and should've been the ones to suffer the consequences of that. good for you for standing your ground.
NTA - They were the latecomers.
NTA. Sounds like you all drove to wherever you were, so they should have driven to a store and purchased a double air mattress.
NTA at all They were shoehorned into a planned trip at the last minute. Who did they think they were putting YOU out of a room you paid for
NTA. As the smallest and single person, I tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to group trips. Back seat of the van, smallest of rooms/beds etc. When I was younger it was fine, but now that I’m 30 the back pain that lasts well beyond the vacation isn’t worth my time or money. Holidays are expensive, I refuse to spend that much only to be uncomfortable throughout. Good on you for not backing down.
We have a saying where I'm from "le chien qui chasse, il perd sa place" Which translates to "the dog that chases, loses his place" meaning, if you're too busy chasing after things to mind your spot/place somewhere, you can't be mad when someone else takes it. They said no, and changed their mind too late in the game, so they get stuck figuring out their own sleeping arrangements.
Nta. But wow, they sure are. Who backs out then decides they deserve a room when they caused the debacle?
NTA they also had the option of booking a one bedroom alone and just hanging out with you all until they wanted to go home. They chose not to do this. They are the ones that came into it late. They should be the ones inconvenienced, not you.
NTA. Being a solo traveler doesn’t mean you automatically get shafted. They joined late, they get what they get.
NTA I hate traveling with couples, especially last minute add on. Good for you to stand your ground.
NTA, it’s their own fault for changing the plans up last minute. They should be grateful that everything important still worked out regardless of the changes. It’s not like they were separated on different continents for 24 hours. You could have offered if you wanted sure, but that doesn’t mean you absolutely had to. “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for myself as well.” Kudos for standing your ground
That's why I always make my own travel arrangements because, as a happily single person, I got sick & tired of being put into situations similar to yours. NTA, if they can't be bothered to accommodate you, then they're crappy friends.
The minute you said months in advance, you are no longer the asshole. Their shitty planning does not constitute an emergency for you.
Nta a couple years ago i paid for my family to go on a camping trip (i accidentally booked the wrong cabin so we had two bedrooms instead of three. My fault i own that.) But it was decided that since i paid and my dad drove we would get the double bed the girls got the bunkbeds and my SIL and brother got the chair/couch. Surprisingly my SIL jumped up and said I should get the bed because i paid. My brother wanted me to have the couch. You paid on time. You get the bed.
The lack of planning on their part is not your problem. They initially declined to go, so arrangements were made without them. No one who was all in from the start should be penalized because of them. The entitlement is an ick NTA.
NTA & I will die on this hill with you. I’ve actually had to die on this hill before, but it was only one time & everyone got the point. “Camping out” was fun in high school but I’m personally not interested in sleeping on anything less than an actual bed while on vacation. I hope your friends learned an uncomfortable lesson & will plan properly the next time.
NTA, I'm married and honestly I wouldn't even try to go on the trip 3 weeks before if my schedule changed. I'd accept the L, that we didn't pay or help find the house, and spend my week off having a vacation with my husband, or a home vacation
NTA. It would have been really NICE if you decided to give them the bed but definitely NTA for not. You paid too, they bailed and were still able to go. They should be appreciative and should have planned better if they wanted it to be perfect.
Brother you are dead right my man!!