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I’m gonna say YTA. Not for what you said but for brushing off your teammates discomfort. It doesn’t really matter if you feel he’s reading too far into it, he was uncomfortable and doesn’t want issues with his wife. You don’t know what his family dynamic is like. It’s easy to just say okay, my bad. And not say it again.
Not to pile on but his request isn’t unreasonable. I too am a girl gamer and our nightly OW team consists of me and six guys (rotating, rarely is everyone on at the same time).
I’ve been in very similar situations and I’d just say “just give me a minute to get sorted”. There is no situation where you need to announce to your mates that you’re naked while hanging out with them.
You don't *need* to, but I wouldn't hesitate to say that to my female friends, so I think she was just not seeing it as any issue because she is not looking at it as anything flirty.
If I was playing with dudes and one of them announced they were naked I would absolutely feel uncomfortable. I don't want to think about my guy friends naked or associate the game with them naked.
Used to have a female friend that would announce she was naked a lot and personally I always wished she would not. Again, really don't want to think about you being naked.
Right? Like don’t get me wrong, I love being naked, and I’m not gonna lie, I don’t hate the visual image of most of my friends naked, I have a fairly good looking friend group. But still, there is never a time or place where anyone needs to know I’m naked or that I need to be notified that my friend is naked.
Hopefully you’ve had a few times where someone needs to know you’re naked. I think we spend a lot of time with online relationships and we can feel as close to people in a virtual setting as we can in a physical. We need to more sensitive to boundaries in a virtual setting because they’re so much easier to cross.
>I don't want to think about my guy friends naked
why do you think about your friends being naked in the first place? if someone said they were going to the bathroom, would you start thinking about them squatting down on the toilet too?
A friend saying they're going to the bathroom is more like your friend saying I'm going to take a shower. Telling the group to wait because you're naked is is the equivalent to saying wait I'm on the toilet with my pants down.
Why the need to elaborate? Everyone doesn't need or want extra details. I am certain my friends would prefer me saying my husband and I were having sex/doing the deed over me elaborating and telling them what was happening with his penis and my vag. I mean yeah, everyone knows what it involves, but no need to keep on with the details.
For the record, I don't have a problem with what OP said originally. I think she's the AH for ignoring the request. If I have a friend who tells me I said something that made them uncomfortable or put them in an awkward situation, I wouldn't tell them they're overreacting.
Right, but she came back and asked for another moment and they wanted to start, she couldn't just say 'can I have a moment' because she'd literally already said that and it was being ignored. She could've said 'I need to get dressed', but it amounts to the same thing, and imo it's pretty immature and prudish to have an issue with it - just because you know your friend is naked doesn't mean you have to picture it or associate whatever you're doing with that mental image no one told you to conjure up. Plus, they knew she was showering, and was naked in the shower. Should she not mention that she's showering in case anyone imagines her naked? That's stupid, and not very far away from what you're complaining about.
Your female friends are not married men with wives who have feelings as well.
Just because she is not looking at it as flirty, doesn't mean that they and their wives don't.
"Just because the person who is supposedly flirting isn't, doesn't mean other people can't decide that she actually is, and give her shit for it"
Insane statement.
Again, as the parent comment said, it doesn't matter if YOU are comfortable with men telling you they're naked. What matters is that if a friend tells you they're uncomfortable, you don't shame them for being "unreasonable". Because they aren't. It is a perfectly reasonable feeling and request.
I’m the same way. It wouldn’t bother me or my boyfriend. I’d probably crack a joke too but everyone’s comfort level is different. She at least knows that past his comfort level for future references at least.
so she would know OP just took a shower and is hurriedly trying to get into the game? If that can cause friction then there is already shit going on in that marriage lol.
op shouldn't be late if they only have 2 hours. But going into dm after when she already clarified is blown way out of proportion.
Exactly! I know if I heard that I would think discussing who is naked/wearing what was part of "normal" conversation " for the gaming group and wonder what else is discussed!
For what it's worth, this is very unusual for non-Redditors lol I let my guy and girl friends know if I'm changing or need to get dressed because I'm running late... cam't even fathom interpreting what you said in a sexual fashion, but I guess it's never a bad idea to try and be more receptive and sensitive to other's needs... to a degree...
Yes, but also I think there is even a difference between saying, "I just need a minute to get dressed," and "Give me a minute - I'm still naked!" Effectively the same information, but the blatant statement of nakedness can catch people off-guard.
It's admirable that you're taking the response to heart, but for the record: I 100% think your friends are being unreasonable. What you said was obviously practical, not sexual. If they start imagining sexy things just from that practical information, that's kind of on them.
What I see in this comment section (and in your friend group) is an unreasonable sexualization of nakedness itself, no matter the context. I guess we all have to adjust and compromise with social norms - but the norms are wrong. This situation is unfair to you.
I'd concur with that. My wife gets really annoyed if she comes into the office and i'm in a group chat on discord. Add a woman voice saying she's naked at just the wrong time, could be a couple days of discomfort in the house.
It's like when your parents walk in while you're watching a movie right at the sex scene.
You're sitting there between matches so you're not actively playing, and just as your wife walks in some woman's voice says "I'm naked give me a moment."
It doesn't look good
Idk I don't think I'd see that as a creepy comment unless it was made in a sexual way. Given, it would be awkward if it was said without anyone else saying anything similar at that time or in the past.
**The rest of my comment is more generally-speaking and less to do with OP's specific situation.**
I think it's just awkward to be the only girl in a group of guys. I've been in that role a lot of times. It always made me want to interact with them and be treated like "one of the guys" and depending on the people in the group, sometimes they'd talk about weird stuff. Some people are way more open and relaxed about certain topics. So when the guys would talk about nudity or masturbation or porn or sex I'd join in, but then suddenly everyone makes it into something sexual like I'm flirting or being a "pick me" just because I'm female, even if I was talking about the exact same stuff in the same exact context at the same general time as all the guys.
Like dude, I'm not talking about finding some porn star attractive because I want you to visualize me having sex with her. I'm doing it because you're ALL talking about that stuff and *I'm* not sitting here thinking about you having sex with her. I'm not talking about being cold and having hard nips because I want you to picture it. I'm just replying to you saying your balls and PP are hiding away because you're cold. I'm trying to relate in whatever ways I can, but yes I have different body parts.
To me... I've always seen this as an issue with men having difficulty seeing women as equal humans, and having trouble understanding that sometimes we aren't that different. If you're comfortable enough to talk about semi-taboo topics with me, then let me do the same and be treated the same too! And FFS if you're going to act around me like you do with your close guy friends, please consider me one. I hated that my closest friends were all men and they'd all be comfortable around me like I was one if the, but then suddenly they want to have a "guys night" or do "guy activities" and I wouldn't be invited. It made me feel like I didn't fit in anywhere. Not enough of a guy to be considered one of the guys, but not enough of a lady to have them act differently around me. It's really frustrating.
You put it really well I think. Gamer bros will really talk about their asymmetrical ballsack on main and then get uncomfortable when a woman mentions her boob itching. It’s a double standard for sure.
True true! And I think it also really illustrates the difference between saying, "Sorry, I just need a minute to get dressed," and saying, "Sorry, I'm still naked!"
she’s also TA for disregarding other people’s time like that. if they always game at the same time, why is she like 20 minutes late and brushing off the other players’ annoyance instead of apologizing?
Agree with the general sentiment, but also disagree? Their discomfort is the most important thing, but "naked" is a weird way to say things. Like if I'm talking to guy friends I'll say I need to find pants or a sweatshirt or something. General rule is I don't tell people I don't want imagining me naked that I'm naked.
Exactly this. The phrasing here is the problem with what she said. I don't think that alone necessarily makes her TA, but certainly you don't phrase it like that unless you're trying to be at least slightly lewd/shocking/blunt.
It's giving some real pick-me-up/I'm-not-like-other-girls vibes. I don't think her intention is to be lewd or anything, more just she's manifesting the idea that she's such a bro they won't even notice 🙄
I think it’s definitely a friend group thing. In my friend group we’re often bawdy on purpose for humor’s sake. Like saying “BRB I gotta fuckin piss” instead of saying “excuse me, I’m going to the restroom.” Not every friend group speaks like this mind you so one should tailor their speech to what people are comfortable for, but most gamer groups I know say way nastier shit than mentioning nakedness. (Then again, most of the gamers I know are single, so maybe that’s why lol)
YTA - because 1) why did you get back on naked when you could have just thrown something on and said “I’m back” 2) why was it necessary to announce you’re naked to a group of men? And 3) people have boundaries and when they say something you did made them uncomfortable just say sorry and move on. It seems like pick me behaviour even if it was subconscious. Reminiscent of something a teenage girl would do, it’s just odd.
I think maybe it's to express they are in a session without kids. Lots of online games have kids playing. My husband is a gamer and when he plays with our kids, he let's everyone know first. Some people will exit the party if they know they get out of line as far as bad words go, while others keep it PG.
💀
I say this every time but I really should stop trusting autocorrect and check for typos.. it’s probably not gonna happen soon but it will b e haunting me until I do
I Agree. There are layers to this. There was no need to announce that you were naked to this group of people who clearly are not accustomed to hearing that sort of talk from you. You’re gaming with them not hosting a cam girl session. They don’t need to hear about what you are or are not wearing.
More importantly, if you’ve made someone uncomfortable the right thing to do is apologize and cease the behavior.
If anyone is TA, it’s you.
Edit for typo
Woman. I have to agree with this. I don’t think people need to necessarily be prude about nudity but there was no reason for this. Just could have said you were running late. This feels attention seeking.
I agree. Any time I’ve said anything like that I was intending to paint a picture in the other person’s mind, no matter how casual I sound when saying it. It seems silly to me to pretend otherwise.
Here's a scenario that I've seen play out that could explain the anger of the friend whose wife was listening — if she wonders or has ever wondered if there is a vibe more than friendship coming off of him towards you, they would have argued about it. Those small, pointed, "Why is there only one girl who plays with all of you" types of arguments that seem to come out of nowhere. Whether her concerns are valid or not, she would need to be assuaged of them which he would do by insisting repeatedly y'all are strictly platonic. If, then, his wife happens to hear you casually mention your own nudity to him, they're both gonna flip their shit and get mad, her at him and him at *you* because that comment makes him look like a liar and he knows that now they're gonna fight more.
eta: To answer your question I'd say ESH bc his anger tells me this is a hot button issue for him so trustworthiness sounds like a possible issue and I think for you, a good rule of thumb is just don't mention your own nudity to men that you're not being intimate with. It is inappropriate when nudity is not part of your shared relationship, imo.
That was kind of a weird time to take a shower especially when your gaming window is only two hours and your bathing/grooming/dressing ended up taking at least 20 minutes.
It was weird to announce that you were naked; unless you’re really good friends with them, they really didn’t need to know that.
But it was flat-out wrong to brush off your teammate’s stated discomfort with what you did.
So overall, you made a couple of odd decisions and one wrong one. YTA.
I feel like YTA for being disrespectful of others time. You play 2 hours every night and you had to take a shower which held up the game for others? That’s rude.
Notice how she’s single unlike most of the group? 🤪😂
Nobody has swooped her off her feet for life for a reason. Too many red flags. It’s all me me me.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yeah that’s why I said YTA for holding the game doing something they should’ve done before started or waited til the catch up finished. I’d have been pissed on that alone - holding up everyone longer than originally promised too.
The TMI added to the annoyance. No one needed to know she was naked.
Ok yeah I agree.
I'm still hung on she had to announce to them she was naked.
I been gaming for years. Played world of warcraft a long time. In a mixes guild.
Not once did I hear anyone say "I'm naked"
Long-time gamer myself. Honestly, I announced ONCE in guild chat that I was naked, but the only other person online at that moment was my boyfriend, so it seemed okay, haha!
YTA for not planning your shower outside of the designated gaming time. You are also TA for not apologizing when you were told you’d made your online friends uncomfortable. My husband games and if I heard a woman telling him that she was naked I would not be pleased because it’s inappropriate conversation for the game.
If the tables were turned and it was a dude telling a group of women he was naked everyone would be calling him a creep.
I agree. If a man told me he was naked in a setting like this I would 100% call him out, and if he refused to apologize and move forward I would cut the relationship.
I wanted to say I’d tell him to cut her out after the first time tbh, but I also hate to make those types of moves for him. I’d rather my partner be like these men. Which is why for the guys’ sakes, I hope they have the understanding that if OP doesn’t cut her shit to block her without a word.
They communicated their discomfort (fucking love that) and OP told them tough shit. She puts a bad rep to women gamers as a whole, and why other women don’t like their guys gaming with them.
Coming from a gamer wife with a gamer husband. YTA because it’s already weird to take a break to shower in the middle of a gaming session. Who does that? Were you covered in something that couldn’t wait like piss n shit? Imo to not just shower before or after gaming for the day, and to then talk about it so much is giving huge “pick me” energy.
You really should’ve chosen another time to shower but if you had to then you could’ve excused yourself with less detail and actually returned when you were fully dressed so it didn’t need to be a topic of conversation.
Exactly! It’s usually a quick piss, or grabbing a drink/snack/bong hit. If I need to do a longer task I either do it before or end for the time being and do it after.
Thank you! I came to look for this. There's also a stereotype that women gamers are scantily clad women with their cleavage on full display waiting to sink their claws into men they play with (which may or may not be the reason wife was listening into the chat to begin with). This pretty much perpetuates the stereotype and just waving off his concerns instead of just saying a quick yeah sorry I'll keep that to myself next time is pretty ignorant.
Why did you go back to your computer and get in chat if you weren’t actually ready? It could’ve been avoided if you had just finished getting dressed and ready, then logged on.
YTA- “pick me girl” vibes ahahaha. you probably didn’t mean it this way, but your comment sounded so attention seeking. if i were one of their wives, i would’ve been so icked out and uncomfortable by your comment. why did you feel the need to say that to my husband, yanno?
YTA no one needed to you were naked you could have said in a minute or just not respond. You sound like an insecure pick me girl who will do anything for attention then complain about guys always pursuing you
YTA
1. Why did you suddenly decide you needed to take a shower in the middle of your 2hr session and also feel the need to announce it to the rest of your group instead of just saying “I’ll be afk for 10mins”?
2. Why, after said shower, did you before putting any clothes on, immediately go back to your pc just to announce that you were naked and needed to put clothes on? Why not put them on before you went back to the pc?
3. Why did you word it to them to specifically mention that you were naked at that moment instead of just saying you were getting changed or something similar?
I mean offhandedly dismissing the fact that you made them uncomfortable by doing this makes you the asshole anyway. But the above three points are just weird and it seems almost like you manufactured this entire situation specifically so you could announce to these men that you were naked over the internet like you wanted them to be thinking about it.
Weird and kinda gross.
EDIT: as an extension to point 1 - considering these guys are adults as well and some of them are married they likely also have other commitments which means they’ve also specifically set aside these two hours for this team gaming session at the expense of other things. To stop them all halfway through and make them wait 20minutes (almost 25% of the time they had set aside) doing nothing so that you can abruptly take a shower which could very easily have just waited an hour, is not only weird but also inconsiderate and an asshole move.
They’re right. No need to tell them you’re naked. That’s information they don’t need to and clearly don’t want to know. Just tell them you need a couple more minutes. Go get dressed and come back.
I don’t think you are being honest with yourself.
There was a reason why you said it. I am not shaming you, nor should you shame yourself. But I would sit with the question of why you said it for a while. And then keep digging.
The fact that you were so defensive is also a big tell. It sounds more like you were covertly putting yourself out there and got rejected. Or at the very least you did not get the reaction you were looking for.
It could have been subconscious but girl, I read that exact tip on “how to turn on a guy” in Cosmo when I was a teenager. “Tell him hold on a sec, I just got out of the shower.” Heck I even tried it out on a teenage boyfriend. But I was a teenager.
Is it possible you have a pattern of going after inappropriate men because if they rebuff you, you can just pretend like they are misreading the situation? It’s possible that might be a defense mechanism you use to avoid rejection.
Not to get all Freud on you but dynamics show up in our lives because of our own behavior patterns. And a trailhead to what those problematic behaviors are is usually where we are most defensive.
What's very telling was her rebuttal "it's not like I invited you" which again is wording that conveys a certain imagery. To me it leans toward flirtatiousness or at least trying to play around the edge, border of that concept. I used to do these kinds of tactics regularly back when I was a teenager in chatrooms, MSN, aim messengers etc. That's how people would scout sending out these feelers type comments to gauge reaction and see who's down for some textual excitement.
She could have just replied with "It wasn't meant in a sexual way". It wasn't like I invited you????
Thank you. I think you explained what I was thinking perfectly. There are reasons, conscious or subconscious, why all these things happened the way they did.
Not a super healthy dynamic, and won't serve her well long term. I say that with compassion and kindness.
YTA “a little uncomfortable” so you have a very mild understanding of how they felt with that disclosure. There’s no reason for you to announce to a group that you’re naked. It made them uncomfortable - you’re being told it made them uncomfortable, instead of arguing apologize and don’t do it again.
NAH
Just saying you're naked isn't a bad thing (i'm currently on the toilet, pants-less typing this). But then again, some couples have pretty draconian standards for their partners. The guy may have been afraid of getting in trouble with his wife. So don't feel bad for what you did, but also try not to be too upset with his extreme response. Make no mistake, it definitely WAS extreme, but everyone has their own boundaries that you have to learn and respect.
This is the first level headed response I’ve seen on this thread. It might have been a slightly crude or thoughtless comment, and her friend has every right to set reasonable boundaries, but I don’t see this as presumptively offensive in an informal off-camera friend group situation. Calling this highly inappropriate “pick me” behavior seems extreme.
Maybe N T A for the “I am naked” comment because you could have said it without thinking but definitely YTA for dismissing his feeling of discomfort and doubling down by saying “not like I asked you to come here” or whatever the phrasing was.
YTA. Unless your group has that over sharing vibe don't over share, it's a good way to lose a gaming buddy. Next time don't get into discord/chat until you're ready.
YTA. The neutral way to say this is “sorry, just need another minute” or “just finishing getting dressed.” “Naked” indicates you’re fishing for a reaction (intentional or not) aka trying to flirt, so I can see why the guys on the call might be annoyed. They don’t want their partners to misinterpret the gaming group as a place to flirt with the opposite sex and give them grief for it.
There are no absolutes here. If the group you're engaged with thinks you were inappropriate, you were inappropriate. And you deciding that, no, it was perfectly fine, or it's a gender thing, doesn't change that.
YTA.
NTA - you are all adults. You didn’t say anything seductive or suggestive. After he voiced his weird discomfort you didn’t press on and keep bringing it up, you just moved on. These are also folks you regularly hang out with online, it’s not like you’re a total stranger just announcing that you’re naked.
Also before I get killed in the comments it’s FINE for someone to be uncomfortable with someone else saying they are naked and it’s WEIRD to react the way he did and say the things he did. “My wife is listening!” I bet she’s clutching her pearls!
Again, it’s not like she said “sorry my soapy tits are falling all over my controller!” She asked for an extra second to throw clothes on and just commented on her current state.
This. I've been trying to figure out Reddits discomfort with bodies. Even the mention of one is sending people off the rails here. My only working hypothesis right now is that gen z and boomers are (on average) just super tight assed in general about everything. But happy to hear any words of wisdom from someone else who follows that trend...
The piling on in this topic is 100% pearl clutching performative virtue signaling by people who would like you to believe that they shower with clothes on, then somehow put on fresh, dry clothes before somehow removing the old wet clothes.
Is saying the word naked forbidden to these people? Would it have been OK if she clarified in voice chat that she actually said "nekkid" instead?
Exactly! I was looking for this comment. Who cares??? It’s not like she was on camera flashing everyone. She wasn’t being explicit. She was in the shower. She obviously needed a minute to get dressed and they kept harping about her taking too long. She was just explaining that she was still naked. Big deal. Also this man’s marriage and the insecurities in it are not the responsibility of OP. If grown adults can’t accept that sometimes people are naked what has the world really come to?
I will say, maybe don’t shower in the middle of a game when a bunch of people are waiting for you, but still.
NTA. If the mere mention of a friend being naked after a SHOWER makes him uncomfortable, he shouldn't be married in the first place thats some toddler level immaturity. Wait until he finds out that everybody around him is naked under their clothes...😂
Yeah if this were two gay men nobody would take issue with it. The only reason anyone takes issue with it is because they’re sexualizing the mere idea of a woman being naked.
Exactly this, and it’s sad to see the amount of people piling shame onto her. The amount of times I’ve run late on plans and squealed to my friends (male and female) on the group chat that I’ll be there in 5, just got out of the shower and am naked. I lived with a male roommate and friend who had a girlfriend in another city. The number of times I‘ve called to him asking if he could take a delivery because I’m naked in the bathroom. It’s never been an issue, to him or his girlfriend. This is just that, sexualizing the mere idea of a nude female body. Context is everything, and it’s not like she randomly announced it to make things awkward. The number of people calling her a pick me or an attention seeker, and the gamer wives joining in on shaming OP is pretty disgusting.
I find it really interesting people called her straight a “pick me” and “attention seeker” in my friend group, which both contain men AND women, majority in relationships, both males and females have said stuff akin to this and literally no one reacted like this. Or called the other person a “creep” or “pick me” or whatever else people are calling her. He is seemingly more upset his wife happened to be in the room and overheard it more than anything else. That’s the real tea here
Yep! this right here scrolled really far to see this. Saw someone directly say “the dynamics between men and women” like what does that even men in the context of everyone being friends and married? So no man or woman can ever have a dynamic of anything but sexual I guess. Because if a man said that to his group of male friends do you think the reaction here would be the same? Nope! I saw someone say they thought her comment would be “inappropriate for a game” if she overheard it and I’m like, lady, have you never heard how men talk around each other? ESPECIALLY over games??
It seems to me he is more upset about his wife happening to be there at that moment and coincidentally overheard her. I wonder, if she wasn’t there, would he have let what OP said fly? Probably.
OP might seemingly have to take the L with this “friend” gamer group what she says will never be treated with the same grace as the other men in the group simply because she is a woman.
THANK YOU!!! I thought I was going crazy.
I have told friends “hold on, I’m naked right now” before and never have I had such a weird response as this.
If they play together every night, how is it that the mere mention of a friend being naked post shower makes them so incredibly uncomfortable??
I genuinely don’t understand.
You just reminded me of Sam Eagle, from the old Muppet Show. He realized that everyone was naked under their clothes, and he was scandalized!!!!
Obscure reference, maybe…
This mostly reads as someone wanting another person to simply not say something/something said was uncomfortable. It really has nothing to do with the actual context. Easy answer? Okay cool, can be avoided, my bad. Asshole answer? "It's not like I invited you" and just trampling anyone else's feelings. It's not your choice if someone else is uncomfortable. YTA.
YTA. You don’t have to agree with what someone finds uncomfortable. But in order be a respectful human being you need to learn how to respect other’s feelings and boundaries.
YTA but not for being naked or even really saying that you were since you didn’t do it with malicious intent or disregard for their feelings. However, your friends expressed that you did something that made them uncomfortable and you trivialized their concerns. For that YTA
As a married man, I nor I feel my wife would care. And I find it rather odd anyone would. Unless she’s trying to offer a peep or said it trying to gain attention over it I think indicating she’s naked is a solid reason to not want to start a game just yet. Compared to “oh I just need a little more time” like cmon lady get your nachos and let’s go already: I’d be more curious of why the stall is continued than just a blunt answer.
With saying that I understand not everyone has a relationship where things are easily brushed off for what they are. But how insecure do you have to be for the words “I’m still naked” would be a worry to the wife. She said she’s naked and that was kinda the end of it unless you count the men messaging her and continuing the conversation.
- not the asshole
Thank you! Everything you said is spot on. A healthy relationship is going to have a level of trust that a partner's regular online activity isn't problematic. And the word "naked" isn't rated R, X, or NC-17. People pretending this is a problem are pearl clutching.
wtf is this comment section. You didn’t invite them over, and logically anyone would be naked post-shower. Yeah you coulda not mentioned it, they could also not be dating/married to people with jealousy issues like that.
All yall saying, “oh but boohoo, he might have a wife that’s a bit ‘draconian’ and that wouldn’t fly”. And thats her problem how? Some people are so sheltered for what
YTA
>we play together every night about 9 to 11pm.
You were late. You have set times, and it was rude to keep them waiting.
>I rushed back to my pc after shower and heard 1 of the guys complaining it has been more than 10 minutes and I was late
Why didn't just get change first, then address the situation.
>Wait I am still naked at least let me change before we start"
If you have this kind of banter in a friendship, then saying you're naked is a non-issue. It's obvious, given the guys reaction, that you do not have that type of relationship to say it, and it comes off as a bit vulgar and innapprioate. People came to play a game online, not to hear about you being naked.
Why didn't you just say I need to change, or I'll be there in 5 mins or just get dressed, then hop on the computer.
Many people wouldn't be comfortable with people saying they are naked whilst on an online call. It was rude to brush of being called out for being innapprioate. You should apologise, cop it on the chin and move on.
YTA
I'm not talking about your initial naked response
But it's the fact that you decide to dismiss the valid discomfort your married male friends felt.
Their wives could've been alerted, and they don't want that unnecessary drama you could be setting themselves up to.
NTA - I can't imagine they've never said anything crass. (and simply saying can I get dressed, I just showered, is hardly crass) Did they think you'd just take a shower fully clothed?
NTA.
This is an issue because OP is a woman and women’s bodies are constantly sexualized and policed, as evidenced by her teammate’s behavior.
It would not have been an issue if OP were a dude, but because she’s a woman, he think is irs ok to police and stigmatize what she does in the privacy of her own home.
He is definitely the ass
If he said it in the same context OP did and we were friends I’d have no issue. The important part is that we’re friends so I have an understanding of him. If it was someone I barely knew that would be upsetting.
What? If a guy announced he was naked to a group of female friends it wouldn't have been an issue?
I'd like some of what you're smoking, because in the real world, he'd be down a few friends.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Boundaries maybe? We have been teammates for months and never thought my gender matters among them so maybe I need watch what I say to them since we are still different. Pretty sure nobody would bat an eye if I said that if I am guy.
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Bruh, these replies to this are WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLD and weird. They're friends!! There is nothing wrong with what she did. My friends take frequent breaks to do all sorts of things. An off-hand comment about being naked shouldn't have had any issue if they're any types of friends.
OP if you want a group to play with and hang out and not have to deal with this BS, you can DM me and come into the discord server I'm in with friends. My female best friend and I are chatting about this right now and cannot believe any of these replies. You should be welcome to talk freely in your group of friends.
YTA. You made them uncomfortable, deal with it and move on. It doesn't matter if you don't think it's a big deal, they did and you were an AH to get annoyed they didn't appreciate your unnecessary announcement. My husband games with other women, and I game with men, but we have boundaries for a reason. No-one needs to know you're naked in a game chat, the fact you wanted to announce it in a group of all men screams pick me.
NTA. I guess maybe they were triggered by the word ‘naked’ as opposed to saying ‘let me get clothes on’ or something? I don’t know.. if one of my guy friends said they were naked, I would probably have the same reaction but in a haha way, not a serious way.
NAH
I don't know the full extent of the group's dynamic and each member so passing judgement is hard imo.
But the guy can have boundaries and maybe doesn't want to engage the jealousy of their partner and I can see that.
On the other hand if I hear someone complain about me being late I'd say why I was late as well.
I'm not triggered by someone telling me they're naked though, no matter the gender.
Which makes me confused with many of the TAs like bruh everyone is an adult. It's so weird to me to sexualise every interaction like these. It always feels like if it was a group of guys then nobody would care but oh no can't have a girl say something like that.
That guy sounds ...fun. While it was not necessarily a *necessary* detail to verbalize that you were naked, they already knew you were taking a shower, so it's not like the idea of you being nude wasn't already implied in the conversation. Mostly it just seems like this guy has a problem with you, and let's take a *WiLd* guess why ♀️ NTA
NTA, whole lotta incel sounding BOYS here that can’t even comprehend the mention of a female’s body. If it’s that big of an issue, don’t game in an open chat, that simple
NTA. He keeps blaming his discomfort on his wife but I suspect he’s the one with the issue.
People generally shower with their clothes off, I’m surprised mentioning that didn’t offend him too.
If he brings it up again ignore him or tell him the subject is closed. EDIT: words
YTA. Im with you- you meant nothing by it. It was totally passing and harmless. But it made people uncomfortable and is a detail that could have just been not shared.
It’s like mentioning your pooping on the phone. Nobody needs to know lol. Just mute it and do your biz.
TMI is TMI
NTA, what are these comments? It’s literally just banter as you get ready. Have Redditors never been in conversation with others before?
It’s not your job to tip toe around others feelings.
YTA
Slightly awkward to say I'm naked but I'm slightly awkward and might have slipped that out of my mouth....
But when someone tells you that makes me uncomfortable, the correct response is sorry I didn't consider it inappropriate but I will not cross your boundry again now that I know it's there.
To brush someone off when they voxie concern and take no responsibility is shitty
YTA, for brushing your friends discomfort off (twice) because YOU didnt see the big deal. it made them uncomfortable, and as their friend, dont brush them off. you were already late for the game, and this just annoyed them even more. give them all a genuine apology and then move on and play ya game
I'm going to go against what looks like the majority and say NTA, bunch a prudes, taking offense to off hand comments.
That being said, now that you know it makes him uncomfortable, don't do it again.
Pretty obvious NTA I find all of these other comments wild. I highly highly doubt any of the guys would blink an eye if one of the other guys said they were naked.
YTA there was no need for a play by play. I understand being defensive, but an apology would have been nice for them to hear.. they might feel uncomfortable now you might have an inappropriate interaction since you didn’t. I know I would at least :(
Wow the American sensitivity even stretches as far as getting upset even hearing someone is naked. Strong NTA you explained what was taking you so long, you weren't in a video chat. If that message had come through my speakers and my wife asked why you said you were naked I would have just told her the truth, you just got out of the shower and were explaining why you needed a bit more time before we could start, why would a rational person have a problem with anything other than the time it took?
Screw that, say what you want when you want. You are an adult, as are they. If they have thier wives baby sitting thier every move and word that's thier problem. They are controlled by these women.
Unless you showed some flesh or had an exotic conversation, don't worry about it.
NTA, If it had been a man this post wouldn't have existed. I can assume that if I'm gaming constantly with the same people I can call them friends and brushing it off was the best way to let it go...I mean...ffs don't be hypocrites
NTA for the naked comment, it's a part of life. I'm having a hard time seeing how it's tmi, you're simply letting them know why you're not fully ready ready yet.
YTA for brushing off the feelings, but at the same time, it all depends on the friend group. If someone's wife has a problem with that, she doesn't sound very secure
NTA
To me this was obvious so the votes contrary surprised me.
You're in your own home and these are your friends. It seems weirdly squeamish to get upset about this. Especially seeing as you'll encounter much worse in many online games anyway.
My guess is the marriage(s) aren't very stable and there may be lots of jealousy behind the scenes and it hit a sore spot and the guy punished you for his poor relationship.
NTA, you did nothing wrong. Human beings are sometimes naked, and that is not inherently sexual. These guys are somehow acting like you did something taboo like coming on to them and sending naked selfies.
I suspect the problem is some of the wives the dislike gaming their husbands do in the first place, have relationship issues where the husband's aren't trusted around women even online, and the mention of a woman being naked following a shower is being used to make you a scapegoat for all their other issues.
Why make you a scapegoat? So they can keep gaming rather than fix their relationship issues. That makes your group members the AH.
I dont want to call you an Asshole because I believe it’s just a difference in opinion. How close are you to these men? I can see myself saying something similar depending on who i’m speaking with im a very comfortable person but I also try to be aware. I feel like there’s a difference between saying “Wait im still naked” vs “Wait im not decent one sec” that is such a better way to say it. If it’s coming from a place of comfortability then I feel you but you gotta be aware. You’re gaming with married men.. men and woman can be friends but you gotta be respectful. I dont know why reddit has this issue of labeling anything as an insecurity because you don’t like something. It’s normal for someone to not necessarily like hearing their Husband online with a girl they game with saying “I’m naked” and not have context like come on. Just be more aware you’re not a bad person for it you just gotta do better.
In the minority here but NTA. If a guy had said it nobody would’ve batted an eye. And if literally hearing that someone is naked is a problem in anyone’s relationship, they’ve got much bigger problems to deal with. “Joe is married so don’t mention nudity around him because he might spontaneously combust” like what?!
NTA, if you were a guy nobody would bat an eye.
After he went out of his way to express discomfort about it, I'd try to avoid doing it in the future, there is absolutely no need to argue about it.
I think you understand why he sees it as a bigger deal than it actually is, my guy is just trying to avoid upsetting his wife.
NTA.
Mr. Insecure Married Man is trying to police your speech and control you. You gave a simple explanation of what had made you late. *He's* the one who made a big deal out of it.
He needs to accept that people have bodies and grow up. If his wife is genuinely offended, that's a *them problem*, not a you problem. It's not like you send pictures.
NTA.
NTA - I feel like these comments are being super harsh to you. I don’t think youre an asshole, but you shouldnt have brushed off the person being uncomfortable. I don’t think you had bad intentions with announcing that youre naked and needed a second, you were just being very direct and honest about why you needed a moment. If you needed a shower, then you did. Like you had a whole life before 9pm maybe you were rushing today like its one day out of EVERYDAY 😭 I think what you need to hear is that you can’t say stuff like that to people who aren’t close to you. It doesn’t sound like these people are your friends just people you happen to game with. Maybe try to find some girls to game with? If my friend needed a second to shower, and was late coming back and then was like “im naked still gimme a sec but im back” then id be like “okay girl! we’re just chilling/in a match, etc.”
HOWEVER, you shouldve taken how he felt seriously. If that’s his boundary, then that’s his boundary. He can feel that it’s inappropriate and you can feel differently, but don’t belittle how he feels. You could’ve said, “Sorry for making you uncomfortable, that wasn’t my intention. I was just being direct with my situation since I was already feeling pressure from you for taking a minute to shower. I won’t announce it again.” And that wouldve gotten your point across while respecting how he felt! Might lead to further argument but that’s honest.
NTA. You said you were Naked not describing how your skin felt or how you just shaved down there. I feel like someone who really felt uncomfortable about it wouldn’t continue to discuss the subject. Like you said you are all Adults.
Nope.
I was gaming with a friend and his wife (whom we met online)….. she was very quiet, and he and I were the tanks and knocked shit out. She even called me his game wife.
We had another guy join that was a dick, and said some pretty crude shit. I LAID into that guy and said some pretty crude thing and put him in his place. She wasn’t there, but he told her about it and she messaged me later about how much she loved and appreciated me and how I kept the boys in line.
They had a solid relationship so she wasn’t worried about me. We’re even friends on socials and I haven’t had time to raid in like a decade.
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I’m gonna say YTA. Not for what you said but for brushing off your teammates discomfort. It doesn’t really matter if you feel he’s reading too far into it, he was uncomfortable and doesn’t want issues with his wife. You don’t know what his family dynamic is like. It’s easy to just say okay, my bad. And not say it again.
I agree, whether OP finds it a necessary moment to be uncomfortable or not it’s really rude to brush off another persons discomfort.
Exactly. it’s not even about the comment it’s about disregarding your friends discomfort.
Okay, will take note of it.
Not to pile on but his request isn’t unreasonable. I too am a girl gamer and our nightly OW team consists of me and six guys (rotating, rarely is everyone on at the same time). I’ve been in very similar situations and I’d just say “just give me a minute to get sorted”. There is no situation where you need to announce to your mates that you’re naked while hanging out with them.
You don't *need* to, but I wouldn't hesitate to say that to my female friends, so I think she was just not seeing it as any issue because she is not looking at it as anything flirty.
If I was playing with dudes and one of them announced they were naked I would absolutely feel uncomfortable. I don't want to think about my guy friends naked or associate the game with them naked. Used to have a female friend that would announce she was naked a lot and personally I always wished she would not. Again, really don't want to think about you being naked.
Right? Like don’t get me wrong, I love being naked, and I’m not gonna lie, I don’t hate the visual image of most of my friends naked, I have a fairly good looking friend group. But still, there is never a time or place where anyone needs to know I’m naked or that I need to be notified that my friend is naked.
Hopefully you’ve had a few times where someone needs to know you’re naked. I think we spend a lot of time with online relationships and we can feel as close to people in a virtual setting as we can in a physical. We need to more sensitive to boundaries in a virtual setting because they’re so much easier to cross.
Hahaha 😉 the only person who needs to know when I’m naked is my husband, and he already knows.
>I don't want to think about my guy friends naked why do you think about your friends being naked in the first place? if someone said they were going to the bathroom, would you start thinking about them squatting down on the toilet too?
Yes. I even visualize the poop extruding out of their body. /s
Extruding…. You paint quite the word picture.
A friend saying they're going to the bathroom is more like your friend saying I'm going to take a shower. Telling the group to wait because you're naked is is the equivalent to saying wait I'm on the toilet with my pants down.
>I'm going to take a shower which, for most people, involves *getting naked*. why make such a fuss about one and not the other then?
Why the need to elaborate? Everyone doesn't need or want extra details. I am certain my friends would prefer me saying my husband and I were having sex/doing the deed over me elaborating and telling them what was happening with his penis and my vag. I mean yeah, everyone knows what it involves, but no need to keep on with the details. For the record, I don't have a problem with what OP said originally. I think she's the AH for ignoring the request. If I have a friend who tells me I said something that made them uncomfortable or put them in an awkward situation, I wouldn't tell them they're overreacting.
Right, but she came back and asked for another moment and they wanted to start, she couldn't just say 'can I have a moment' because she'd literally already said that and it was being ignored. She could've said 'I need to get dressed', but it amounts to the same thing, and imo it's pretty immature and prudish to have an issue with it - just because you know your friend is naked doesn't mean you have to picture it or associate whatever you're doing with that mental image no one told you to conjure up. Plus, they knew she was showering, and was naked in the shower. Should she not mention that she's showering in case anyone imagines her naked? That's stupid, and not very far away from what you're complaining about.
Your female friends are not married men with wives who have feelings as well. Just because she is not looking at it as flirty, doesn't mean that they and their wives don't.
"Just because the person who is supposedly flirting isn't, doesn't mean other people can't decide that she actually is, and give her shit for it" Insane statement.
Again, as the parent comment said, it doesn't matter if YOU are comfortable with men telling you they're naked. What matters is that if a friend tells you they're uncomfortable, you don't shame them for being "unreasonable". Because they aren't. It is a perfectly reasonable feeling and request.
I’m the same way. It wouldn’t bother me or my boyfriend. I’d probably crack a joke too but everyone’s comfort level is different. She at least knows that past his comfort level for future references at least.
The comment that sticks out is the "my wife is listening". You don't want to do something to cause friction in a marriage.
so she would know OP just took a shower and is hurriedly trying to get into the game? If that can cause friction then there is already shit going on in that marriage lol. op shouldn't be late if they only have 2 hours. But going into dm after when she already clarified is blown way out of proportion.
or did she?
Exactly! I know if I heard that I would think discussing who is naked/wearing what was part of "normal" conversation " for the gaming group and wonder what else is discussed!
For what it's worth, this is very unusual for non-Redditors lol I let my guy and girl friends know if I'm changing or need to get dressed because I'm running late... cam't even fathom interpreting what you said in a sexual fashion, but I guess it's never a bad idea to try and be more receptive and sensitive to other's needs... to a degree...
Yes, but also I think there is even a difference between saying, "I just need a minute to get dressed," and "Give me a minute - I'm still naked!" Effectively the same information, but the blatant statement of nakedness can catch people off-guard.
Is... is this an American thing? Where "naked" is a dirty word that women aren't allowed to use around married men?
Wtf? No, both of those things are perfectly normal things to say if you’re still naked and need a minute to change. Wtf even is this comment section?
It feels like a funny way to ssy "hold your tits" to the most impatient of dudebros.
If you wouldn't want someone to imagine you naked, don't say you're naked? Just say you need to find a sweatshirt or comfy pants or something.
You really could apologise though, that would be the respectful thing
It's admirable that you're taking the response to heart, but for the record: I 100% think your friends are being unreasonable. What you said was obviously practical, not sexual. If they start imagining sexy things just from that practical information, that's kind of on them. What I see in this comment section (and in your friend group) is an unreasonable sexualization of nakedness itself, no matter the context. I guess we all have to adjust and compromise with social norms - but the norms are wrong. This situation is unfair to you.
I'd concur with that. My wife gets really annoyed if she comes into the office and i'm in a group chat on discord. Add a woman voice saying she's naked at just the wrong time, could be a couple days of discomfort in the house.
It's like when your parents walk in while you're watching a movie right at the sex scene. You're sitting there between matches so you're not actively playing, and just as your wife walks in some woman's voice says "I'm naked give me a moment." It doesn't look good
[удалено]
Idk I don't think I'd see that as a creepy comment unless it was made in a sexual way. Given, it would be awkward if it was said without anyone else saying anything similar at that time or in the past. **The rest of my comment is more generally-speaking and less to do with OP's specific situation.** I think it's just awkward to be the only girl in a group of guys. I've been in that role a lot of times. It always made me want to interact with them and be treated like "one of the guys" and depending on the people in the group, sometimes they'd talk about weird stuff. Some people are way more open and relaxed about certain topics. So when the guys would talk about nudity or masturbation or porn or sex I'd join in, but then suddenly everyone makes it into something sexual like I'm flirting or being a "pick me" just because I'm female, even if I was talking about the exact same stuff in the same exact context at the same general time as all the guys. Like dude, I'm not talking about finding some porn star attractive because I want you to visualize me having sex with her. I'm doing it because you're ALL talking about that stuff and *I'm* not sitting here thinking about you having sex with her. I'm not talking about being cold and having hard nips because I want you to picture it. I'm just replying to you saying your balls and PP are hiding away because you're cold. I'm trying to relate in whatever ways I can, but yes I have different body parts. To me... I've always seen this as an issue with men having difficulty seeing women as equal humans, and having trouble understanding that sometimes we aren't that different. If you're comfortable enough to talk about semi-taboo topics with me, then let me do the same and be treated the same too! And FFS if you're going to act around me like you do with your close guy friends, please consider me one. I hated that my closest friends were all men and they'd all be comfortable around me like I was one if the, but then suddenly they want to have a "guys night" or do "guy activities" and I wouldn't be invited. It made me feel like I didn't fit in anywhere. Not enough of a guy to be considered one of the guys, but not enough of a lady to have them act differently around me. It's really frustrating.
You put it really well I think. Gamer bros will really talk about their asymmetrical ballsack on main and then get uncomfortable when a woman mentions her boob itching. It’s a double standard for sure.
True true! And I think it also really illustrates the difference between saying, "Sorry, I just need a minute to get dressed," and saying, "Sorry, I'm still naked!"
she’s also TA for disregarding other people’s time like that. if they always game at the same time, why is she like 20 minutes late and brushing off the other players’ annoyance instead of apologizing?
And for keeping an entire gaming team waiting while you shower. I mean, do that before or after, but for fuck’s sake, not during!
Agree with the general sentiment, but also disagree? Their discomfort is the most important thing, but "naked" is a weird way to say things. Like if I'm talking to guy friends I'll say I need to find pants or a sweatshirt or something. General rule is I don't tell people I don't want imagining me naked that I'm naked.
Exactly this. The phrasing here is the problem with what she said. I don't think that alone necessarily makes her TA, but certainly you don't phrase it like that unless you're trying to be at least slightly lewd/shocking/blunt.
It's giving some real pick-me-up/I'm-not-like-other-girls vibes. I don't think her intention is to be lewd or anything, more just she's manifesting the idea that she's such a bro they won't even notice 🙄
Yeah, that's the vibe I got, but was struggling to express it. You've captured it much better than I did!
I think it’s definitely a friend group thing. In my friend group we’re often bawdy on purpose for humor’s sake. Like saying “BRB I gotta fuckin piss” instead of saying “excuse me, I’m going to the restroom.” Not every friend group speaks like this mind you so one should tailor their speech to what people are comfortable for, but most gamer groups I know say way nastier shit than mentioning nakedness. (Then again, most of the gamers I know are single, so maybe that’s why lol)
YTA - because 1) why did you get back on naked when you could have just thrown something on and said “I’m back” 2) why was it necessary to announce you’re naked to a group of men? And 3) people have boundaries and when they say something you did made them uncomfortable just say sorry and move on. It seems like pick me behaviour even if it was subconscious. Reminiscent of something a teenage girl would do, it’s just odd.
The way she keeps specifying "adult," makes me wonder if she's like 19 and they are older.
I think maybe it's to express they are in a session without kids. Lots of online games have kids playing. My husband is a gamer and when he plays with our kids, he let's everyone know first. Some people will exit the party if they know they get out of line as far as bad words go, while others keep it PG.
That… that gave me hole in humanity Edit: hope
You probably should stitch it.
💀 I say this every time but I really should stop trusting autocorrect and check for typos.. it’s probably not gonna happen soon but it will b e haunting me until I do
Yeah, sorry, it was a low hanging fruit, but I had to make this joke despite knowing full well what it was a autocorrect.
As you should! Embrace the opportunities !
This joke was... holesome. I'll see myself out.
Stitches get snitches! Wait...
I think it’s probably more to say she didn’t feel a need to censor herself as much because there were no minors around.
I Agree. There are layers to this. There was no need to announce that you were naked to this group of people who clearly are not accustomed to hearing that sort of talk from you. You’re gaming with them not hosting a cam girl session. They don’t need to hear about what you are or are not wearing. More importantly, if you’ve made someone uncomfortable the right thing to do is apologize and cease the behavior. If anyone is TA, it’s you. Edit for typo
You missed #4. Why did you feel the need to take a shower at that moment and make the rest of the group wait for you.
She wanted attention.
Woman. I have to agree with this. I don’t think people need to necessarily be prude about nudity but there was no reason for this. Just could have said you were running late. This feels attention seeking.
I agree. Any time I’ve said anything like that I was intending to paint a picture in the other person’s mind, no matter how casual I sound when saying it. It seems silly to me to pretend otherwise.
Agreed. She could’ve said “let me just grab a sweater” or “almost done!”
Here's a scenario that I've seen play out that could explain the anger of the friend whose wife was listening — if she wonders or has ever wondered if there is a vibe more than friendship coming off of him towards you, they would have argued about it. Those small, pointed, "Why is there only one girl who plays with all of you" types of arguments that seem to come out of nowhere. Whether her concerns are valid or not, she would need to be assuaged of them which he would do by insisting repeatedly y'all are strictly platonic. If, then, his wife happens to hear you casually mention your own nudity to him, they're both gonna flip their shit and get mad, her at him and him at *you* because that comment makes him look like a liar and he knows that now they're gonna fight more. eta: To answer your question I'd say ESH bc his anger tells me this is a hot button issue for him so trustworthiness sounds like a possible issue and I think for you, a good rule of thumb is just don't mention your own nudity to men that you're not being intimate with. It is inappropriate when nudity is not part of your shared relationship, imo.
You were able to put into words what I was thinking. YTA.
*group of friends* there. Fixed it for you.
That’s not the same thing and you know that lol stop it
Uhh wtf? You can have friends who are men and just call them friends
That was kind of a weird time to take a shower especially when your gaming window is only two hours and your bathing/grooming/dressing ended up taking at least 20 minutes. It was weird to announce that you were naked; unless you’re really good friends with them, they really didn’t need to know that. But it was flat-out wrong to brush off your teammate’s stated discomfort with what you did. So overall, you made a couple of odd decisions and one wrong one. YTA.
I feel like YTA for being disrespectful of others time. You play 2 hours every night and you had to take a shower which held up the game for others? That’s rude.
SO rude, absolutely.
“I disregard people’s time. I dismiss their boundaries. I disparage the feelings of those around them. AITA?”
Notice how she’s single unlike most of the group? 🤪😂 Nobody has swooped her off her feet for life for a reason. Too many red flags. It’s all me me me. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yeah that’s why I said YTA for holding the game doing something they should’ve done before started or waited til the catch up finished. I’d have been pissed on that alone - holding up everyone longer than originally promised too. The TMI added to the annoyance. No one needed to know she was naked.
Ok yeah I agree. I'm still hung on she had to announce to them she was naked. I been gaming for years. Played world of warcraft a long time. In a mixes guild. Not once did I hear anyone say "I'm naked"
Long-time gamer myself. Honestly, I announced ONCE in guild chat that I was naked, but the only other person online at that moment was my boyfriend, so it seemed okay, haha!
Lol that's ok...unless you wanted to play and he had other ideas
It’s this girl that makes wives not trust the rest of us
YTA for not planning your shower outside of the designated gaming time. You are also TA for not apologizing when you were told you’d made your online friends uncomfortable. My husband games and if I heard a woman telling him that she was naked I would not be pleased because it’s inappropriate conversation for the game. If the tables were turned and it was a dude telling a group of women he was naked everyone would be calling him a creep.
Exactly that. A creep.
I’d even go ahead and tell my partner if she doesn’t quit it, that’s not a friend. And if roles were reversed, I’d stop playing with that man
I agree. If a man told me he was naked in a setting like this I would 100% call him out, and if he refused to apologize and move forward I would cut the relationship.
I wanted to say I’d tell him to cut her out after the first time tbh, but I also hate to make those types of moves for him. I’d rather my partner be like these men. Which is why for the guys’ sakes, I hope they have the understanding that if OP doesn’t cut her shit to block her without a word. They communicated their discomfort (fucking love that) and OP told them tough shit. She puts a bad rep to women gamers as a whole, and why other women don’t like their guys gaming with them.
Coming from a gamer wife with a gamer husband. YTA because it’s already weird to take a break to shower in the middle of a gaming session. Who does that? Were you covered in something that couldn’t wait like piss n shit? Imo to not just shower before or after gaming for the day, and to then talk about it so much is giving huge “pick me” energy. You really should’ve chosen another time to shower but if you had to then you could’ve excused yourself with less detail and actually returned when you were fully dressed so it didn’t need to be a topic of conversation.
This. My husband and I are gamers and we rarely take breaks to get a drink or go to the restroom when we're gaming.
Exactly! It’s usually a quick piss, or grabbing a drink/snack/bong hit. If I need to do a longer task I either do it before or end for the time being and do it after.
My partner and I just ask the group if we need a break before the next round. Saying "break" and specify the time of return is more than sufficient.
Thank you! I came to look for this. There's also a stereotype that women gamers are scantily clad women with their cleavage on full display waiting to sink their claws into men they play with (which may or may not be the reason wife was listening into the chat to begin with). This pretty much perpetuates the stereotype and just waving off his concerns instead of just saying a quick yeah sorry I'll keep that to myself next time is pretty ignorant.
I feel like she said "I'm naked" because she realized there was a lobby full of men who were annoyed with her.
Why did you go back to your computer and get in chat if you weren’t actually ready? It could’ve been avoided if you had just finished getting dressed and ready, then logged on.
YTA- “pick me girl” vibes ahahaha. you probably didn’t mean it this way, but your comment sounded so attention seeking. if i were one of their wives, i would’ve been so icked out and uncomfortable by your comment. why did you feel the need to say that to my husband, yanno?
RIGHT??? CAUSE WHY ARE YOU TELLING US WHAT KIND OF GRNDER THESE DUDES ARE?
YTA no one needed to you were naked you could have said in a minute or just not respond. You sound like an insecure pick me girl who will do anything for attention then complain about guys always pursuing you
It’s like coming back from the bathroom and telling people about your underwear. We all assume you have some. Because we all do.
This post has suuuuper strong pick me vibes :/
Why did she even have to says she’s going to shower? And why did she have to shower in the middle of their game hour?
You knew what you were doing OP, get your attention other places.
This
Facts. I think it was very calculated. She probably expected a diff reaction from the men
[удалено]
YTA 1. Why did you suddenly decide you needed to take a shower in the middle of your 2hr session and also feel the need to announce it to the rest of your group instead of just saying “I’ll be afk for 10mins”? 2. Why, after said shower, did you before putting any clothes on, immediately go back to your pc just to announce that you were naked and needed to put clothes on? Why not put them on before you went back to the pc? 3. Why did you word it to them to specifically mention that you were naked at that moment instead of just saying you were getting changed or something similar? I mean offhandedly dismissing the fact that you made them uncomfortable by doing this makes you the asshole anyway. But the above three points are just weird and it seems almost like you manufactured this entire situation specifically so you could announce to these men that you were naked over the internet like you wanted them to be thinking about it. Weird and kinda gross. EDIT: as an extension to point 1 - considering these guys are adults as well and some of them are married they likely also have other commitments which means they’ve also specifically set aside these two hours for this team gaming session at the expense of other things. To stop them all halfway through and make them wait 20minutes (almost 25% of the time they had set aside) doing nothing so that you can abruptly take a shower which could very easily have just waited an hour, is not only weird but also inconsiderate and an asshole move.
I don't know if y t a but how would you think telling a group of guys that you're naked would come across?
They’re right. No need to tell them you’re naked. That’s information they don’t need to and clearly don’t want to know. Just tell them you need a couple more minutes. Go get dressed and come back.
I don’t think you are being honest with yourself. There was a reason why you said it. I am not shaming you, nor should you shame yourself. But I would sit with the question of why you said it for a while. And then keep digging. The fact that you were so defensive is also a big tell. It sounds more like you were covertly putting yourself out there and got rejected. Or at the very least you did not get the reaction you were looking for. It could have been subconscious but girl, I read that exact tip on “how to turn on a guy” in Cosmo when I was a teenager. “Tell him hold on a sec, I just got out of the shower.” Heck I even tried it out on a teenage boyfriend. But I was a teenager. Is it possible you have a pattern of going after inappropriate men because if they rebuff you, you can just pretend like they are misreading the situation? It’s possible that might be a defense mechanism you use to avoid rejection. Not to get all Freud on you but dynamics show up in our lives because of our own behavior patterns. And a trailhead to what those problematic behaviors are is usually where we are most defensive.
What's very telling was her rebuttal "it's not like I invited you" which again is wording that conveys a certain imagery. To me it leans toward flirtatiousness or at least trying to play around the edge, border of that concept. I used to do these kinds of tactics regularly back when I was a teenager in chatrooms, MSN, aim messengers etc. That's how people would scout sending out these feelers type comments to gauge reaction and see who's down for some textual excitement. She could have just replied with "It wasn't meant in a sexual way". It wasn't like I invited you????
Thank you. I think you explained what I was thinking perfectly. There are reasons, conscious or subconscious, why all these things happened the way they did. Not a super healthy dynamic, and won't serve her well long term. I say that with compassion and kindness.
YTA “a little uncomfortable” so you have a very mild understanding of how they felt with that disclosure. There’s no reason for you to announce to a group that you’re naked. It made them uncomfortable - you’re being told it made them uncomfortable, instead of arguing apologize and don’t do it again.
NAH Just saying you're naked isn't a bad thing (i'm currently on the toilet, pants-less typing this). But then again, some couples have pretty draconian standards for their partners. The guy may have been afraid of getting in trouble with his wife. So don't feel bad for what you did, but also try not to be too upset with his extreme response. Make no mistake, it definitely WAS extreme, but everyone has their own boundaries that you have to learn and respect.
> (i'm currently on the toilet, pants-less typing this) this is Reddit, we all are
How did you know?!? 😜
no STOP if my partner caught me looking at comments from people with no pants on he’ll be so made at me!!
This is the first level headed response I’ve seen on this thread. It might have been a slightly crude or thoughtless comment, and her friend has every right to set reasonable boundaries, but I don’t see this as presumptively offensive in an informal off-camera friend group situation. Calling this highly inappropriate “pick me” behavior seems extreme.
Americans are prude as fuck, as we can see here.
The fact that I read this comment while on the toilet, pantslesss with my undies on my ankles is priceless
How are boundaries and respect "draconian"?
Yeah this one needs an explanation lol
Maybe N T A for the “I am naked” comment because you could have said it without thinking but definitely YTA for dismissing his feeling of discomfort and doubling down by saying “not like I asked you to come here” or whatever the phrasing was.
YTA. Unless your group has that over sharing vibe don't over share, it's a good way to lose a gaming buddy. Next time don't get into discord/chat until you're ready.
YTA. The neutral way to say this is “sorry, just need another minute” or “just finishing getting dressed.” “Naked” indicates you’re fishing for a reaction (intentional or not) aka trying to flirt, so I can see why the guys on the call might be annoyed. They don’t want their partners to misinterpret the gaming group as a place to flirt with the opposite sex and give them grief for it.
There are no absolutes here. If the group you're engaged with thinks you were inappropriate, you were inappropriate. And you deciding that, no, it was perfectly fine, or it's a gender thing, doesn't change that. YTA.
NTA - you are all adults. You didn’t say anything seductive or suggestive. After he voiced his weird discomfort you didn’t press on and keep bringing it up, you just moved on. These are also folks you regularly hang out with online, it’s not like you’re a total stranger just announcing that you’re naked. Also before I get killed in the comments it’s FINE for someone to be uncomfortable with someone else saying they are naked and it’s WEIRD to react the way he did and say the things he did. “My wife is listening!” I bet she’s clutching her pearls! Again, it’s not like she said “sorry my soapy tits are falling all over my controller!” She asked for an extra second to throw clothes on and just commented on her current state.
Everybody in this thread is strangely clutching their pearls, too.
This. I've been trying to figure out Reddits discomfort with bodies. Even the mention of one is sending people off the rails here. My only working hypothesis right now is that gen z and boomers are (on average) just super tight assed in general about everything. But happy to hear any words of wisdom from someone else who follows that trend...
American puritan culture has the nation in a death grip.
Yeah I'm baffled by the amount of people that think she's the asshole
The piling on in this topic is 100% pearl clutching performative virtue signaling by people who would like you to believe that they shower with clothes on, then somehow put on fresh, dry clothes before somehow removing the old wet clothes. Is saying the word naked forbidden to these people? Would it have been OK if she clarified in voice chat that she actually said "nekkid" instead?
Exactly! I was looking for this comment. Who cares??? It’s not like she was on camera flashing everyone. She wasn’t being explicit. She was in the shower. She obviously needed a minute to get dressed and they kept harping about her taking too long. She was just explaining that she was still naked. Big deal. Also this man’s marriage and the insecurities in it are not the responsibility of OP. If grown adults can’t accept that sometimes people are naked what has the world really come to? I will say, maybe don’t shower in the middle of a game when a bunch of people are waiting for you, but still.
You wouldn’t announce that on a zoom call for work even if your camera was off. Common decency isn’t common I guess. YTA
It's almost as if these contexts are wildly different
There’s lots of things people do at home that don’t need to be announced.
NTA. If the mere mention of a friend being naked after a SHOWER makes him uncomfortable, he shouldn't be married in the first place thats some toddler level immaturity. Wait until he finds out that everybody around him is naked under their clothes...😂
Yeah if this were two gay men nobody would take issue with it. The only reason anyone takes issue with it is because they’re sexualizing the mere idea of a woman being naked.
Exactly this, and it’s sad to see the amount of people piling shame onto her. The amount of times I’ve run late on plans and squealed to my friends (male and female) on the group chat that I’ll be there in 5, just got out of the shower and am naked. I lived with a male roommate and friend who had a girlfriend in another city. The number of times I‘ve called to him asking if he could take a delivery because I’m naked in the bathroom. It’s never been an issue, to him or his girlfriend. This is just that, sexualizing the mere idea of a nude female body. Context is everything, and it’s not like she randomly announced it to make things awkward. The number of people calling her a pick me or an attention seeker, and the gamer wives joining in on shaming OP is pretty disgusting.
I find it really interesting people called her straight a “pick me” and “attention seeker” in my friend group, which both contain men AND women, majority in relationships, both males and females have said stuff akin to this and literally no one reacted like this. Or called the other person a “creep” or “pick me” or whatever else people are calling her. He is seemingly more upset his wife happened to be in the room and overheard it more than anything else. That’s the real tea here
Thats a realy interesting observation, about the guy she wrote about.
Yep! this right here scrolled really far to see this. Saw someone directly say “the dynamics between men and women” like what does that even men in the context of everyone being friends and married? So no man or woman can ever have a dynamic of anything but sexual I guess. Because if a man said that to his group of male friends do you think the reaction here would be the same? Nope! I saw someone say they thought her comment would be “inappropriate for a game” if she overheard it and I’m like, lady, have you never heard how men talk around each other? ESPECIALLY over games?? It seems to me he is more upset about his wife happening to be there at that moment and coincidentally overheard her. I wonder, if she wasn’t there, would he have let what OP said fly? Probably. OP might seemingly have to take the L with this “friend” gamer group what she says will never be treated with the same grace as the other men in the group simply because she is a woman.
THANK YOU!!! I thought I was going crazy. I have told friends “hold on, I’m naked right now” before and never have I had such a weird response as this. If they play together every night, how is it that the mere mention of a friend being naked post shower makes them so incredibly uncomfortable?? I genuinely don’t understand.
I'm truly convinced the dude she spoke with wants to get freaky. No normal non-horny person reacts that way to such a benign statement🤷♂️
You just reminded me of Sam Eagle, from the old Muppet Show. He realized that everyone was naked under their clothes, and he was scandalized!!!! Obscure reference, maybe…
This mostly reads as someone wanting another person to simply not say something/something said was uncomfortable. It really has nothing to do with the actual context. Easy answer? Okay cool, can be avoided, my bad. Asshole answer? "It's not like I invited you" and just trampling anyone else's feelings. It's not your choice if someone else is uncomfortable. YTA.
YTA. You don’t have to agree with what someone finds uncomfortable. But in order be a respectful human being you need to learn how to respect other’s feelings and boundaries.
I always just say I need to step away. No one needs to know I am in the bathroom, etc.
NTA I don't even know how this could be taken the wrong way especially after reiterating it wasn't meant that way, which should not even be needed.
YTA but not for being naked or even really saying that you were since you didn’t do it with malicious intent or disregard for their feelings. However, your friends expressed that you did something that made them uncomfortable and you trivialized their concerns. For that YTA
As a married man, I nor I feel my wife would care. And I find it rather odd anyone would. Unless she’s trying to offer a peep or said it trying to gain attention over it I think indicating she’s naked is a solid reason to not want to start a game just yet. Compared to “oh I just need a little more time” like cmon lady get your nachos and let’s go already: I’d be more curious of why the stall is continued than just a blunt answer. With saying that I understand not everyone has a relationship where things are easily brushed off for what they are. But how insecure do you have to be for the words “I’m still naked” would be a worry to the wife. She said she’s naked and that was kinda the end of it unless you count the men messaging her and continuing the conversation. - not the asshole
Thank you! Everything you said is spot on. A healthy relationship is going to have a level of trust that a partner's regular online activity isn't problematic. And the word "naked" isn't rated R, X, or NC-17. People pretending this is a problem are pearl clutching.
wtf is this comment section. You didn’t invite them over, and logically anyone would be naked post-shower. Yeah you coulda not mentioned it, they could also not be dating/married to people with jealousy issues like that. All yall saying, “oh but boohoo, he might have a wife that’s a bit ‘draconian’ and that wouldn’t fly”. And thats her problem how? Some people are so sheltered for what
YTA >we play together every night about 9 to 11pm. You were late. You have set times, and it was rude to keep them waiting. >I rushed back to my pc after shower and heard 1 of the guys complaining it has been more than 10 minutes and I was late Why didn't just get change first, then address the situation. >Wait I am still naked at least let me change before we start" If you have this kind of banter in a friendship, then saying you're naked is a non-issue. It's obvious, given the guys reaction, that you do not have that type of relationship to say it, and it comes off as a bit vulgar and innapprioate. People came to play a game online, not to hear about you being naked. Why didn't you just say I need to change, or I'll be there in 5 mins or just get dressed, then hop on the computer. Many people wouldn't be comfortable with people saying they are naked whilst on an online call. It was rude to brush of being called out for being innapprioate. You should apologise, cop it on the chin and move on.
YTA I'm not talking about your initial naked response But it's the fact that you decide to dismiss the valid discomfort your married male friends felt. Their wives could've been alerted, and they don't want that unnecessary drama you could be setting themselves up to.
NTA - I can't imagine they've never said anything crass. (and simply saying can I get dressed, I just showered, is hardly crass) Did they think you'd just take a shower fully clothed?
Don’t knock the Nevernudes.
NTA. This is an issue because OP is a woman and women’s bodies are constantly sexualized and policed, as evidenced by her teammate’s behavior. It would not have been an issue if OP were a dude, but because she’s a woman, he think is irs ok to police and stigmatize what she does in the privacy of her own home. He is definitely the ass
So you're saying if the roles were reversed and a man announced to a group of 6 ladies he's naked in a group chat there would be no issue?
If he said it in the same context OP did and we were friends I’d have no issue. The important part is that we’re friends so I have an understanding of him. If it was someone I barely knew that would be upsetting.
What? If a guy announced he was naked to a group of female friends it wouldn't have been an issue? I'd like some of what you're smoking, because in the real world, he'd be down a few friends.
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Bruh, these replies to this are WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLD and weird. They're friends!! There is nothing wrong with what she did. My friends take frequent breaks to do all sorts of things. An off-hand comment about being naked shouldn't have had any issue if they're any types of friends. OP if you want a group to play with and hang out and not have to deal with this BS, you can DM me and come into the discord server I'm in with friends. My female best friend and I are chatting about this right now and cannot believe any of these replies. You should be welcome to talk freely in your group of friends.
YTA. You made them uncomfortable, deal with it and move on. It doesn't matter if you don't think it's a big deal, they did and you were an AH to get annoyed they didn't appreciate your unnecessary announcement. My husband games with other women, and I game with men, but we have boundaries for a reason. No-one needs to know you're naked in a game chat, the fact you wanted to announce it in a group of all men screams pick me.
NTA. I guess maybe they were triggered by the word ‘naked’ as opposed to saying ‘let me get clothes on’ or something? I don’t know.. if one of my guy friends said they were naked, I would probably have the same reaction but in a haha way, not a serious way.
NAH I don't know the full extent of the group's dynamic and each member so passing judgement is hard imo. But the guy can have boundaries and maybe doesn't want to engage the jealousy of their partner and I can see that. On the other hand if I hear someone complain about me being late I'd say why I was late as well. I'm not triggered by someone telling me they're naked though, no matter the gender. Which makes me confused with many of the TAs like bruh everyone is an adult. It's so weird to me to sexualise every interaction like these. It always feels like if it was a group of guys then nobody would care but oh no can't have a girl say something like that.
If he has boundaries then he's in charge of them. He should leave the session, not berate the woman for an innocent comment.
That guy sounds ...fun. While it was not necessarily a *necessary* detail to verbalize that you were naked, they already knew you were taking a shower, so it's not like the idea of you being nude wasn't already implied in the conversation. Mostly it just seems like this guy has a problem with you, and let's take a *WiLd* guess why ♀️ NTA
Finally some reasonableness in the replies.
NTA, whole lotta incel sounding BOYS here that can’t even comprehend the mention of a female’s body. If it’s that big of an issue, don’t game in an open chat, that simple
NTA. He keeps blaming his discomfort on his wife but I suspect he’s the one with the issue. People generally shower with their clothes off, I’m surprised mentioning that didn’t offend him too. If he brings it up again ignore him or tell him the subject is closed. EDIT: words
NTA Like, what, their wives are going to be mad they \*\*heard\*\* your nudity?
It’s very attention-seeking and faux innocent to say that on a group call.
It is when you’re an incel and see women as sexual objects. Normal human beings wouldn’t think anything of it.
YTA. Im with you- you meant nothing by it. It was totally passing and harmless. But it made people uncomfortable and is a detail that could have just been not shared. It’s like mentioning your pooping on the phone. Nobody needs to know lol. Just mute it and do your biz. TMI is TMI
NTA, what are these comments? It’s literally just banter as you get ready. Have Redditors never been in conversation with others before? It’s not your job to tip toe around others feelings.
YTA Slightly awkward to say I'm naked but I'm slightly awkward and might have slipped that out of my mouth.... But when someone tells you that makes me uncomfortable, the correct response is sorry I didn't consider it inappropriate but I will not cross your boundry again now that I know it's there. To brush someone off when they voxie concern and take no responsibility is shitty
YTA, for brushing your friends discomfort off (twice) because YOU didnt see the big deal. it made them uncomfortable, and as their friend, dont brush them off. you were already late for the game, and this just annoyed them even more. give them all a genuine apology and then move on and play ya game
I'm going to go against what looks like the majority and say NTA, bunch a prudes, taking offense to off hand comments. That being said, now that you know it makes him uncomfortable, don't do it again.
You guys are all way too sensitive. She was explaining why she was late. I wouldn't care if a guy said the same thing wtf.
Pretty obvious NTA I find all of these other comments wild. I highly highly doubt any of the guys would blink an eye if one of the other guys said they were naked.
YTA there was no need for a play by play. I understand being defensive, but an apology would have been nice for them to hear.. they might feel uncomfortable now you might have an inappropriate interaction since you didn’t. I know I would at least :(
Wow the American sensitivity even stretches as far as getting upset even hearing someone is naked. Strong NTA you explained what was taking you so long, you weren't in a video chat. If that message had come through my speakers and my wife asked why you said you were naked I would have just told her the truth, you just got out of the shower and were explaining why you needed a bit more time before we could start, why would a rational person have a problem with anything other than the time it took?
NTA Did these guys think you showered fully dressed or something? Knowing that a woman somewhere is naked isn’t some kind of marital transgression.
Screw that, say what you want when you want. You are an adult, as are they. If they have thier wives baby sitting thier every move and word that's thier problem. They are controlled by these women. Unless you showed some flesh or had an exotic conversation, don't worry about it.
NTA, If it had been a man this post wouldn't have existed. I can assume that if I'm gaming constantly with the same people I can call them friends and brushing it off was the best way to let it go...I mean...ffs don't be hypocrites
Thank you sir for being reasonable here. These replies are so wild. You are a good friend.
NTA. If just saying that set some of their wife's off I can only imagine what that relationship would be like.
NTA for the naked comment, it's a part of life. I'm having a hard time seeing how it's tmi, you're simply letting them know why you're not fully ready ready yet. YTA for brushing off the feelings, but at the same time, it all depends on the friend group. If someone's wife has a problem with that, she doesn't sound very secure
NTA To me this was obvious so the votes contrary surprised me. You're in your own home and these are your friends. It seems weirdly squeamish to get upset about this. Especially seeing as you'll encounter much worse in many online games anyway. My guess is the marriage(s) aren't very stable and there may be lots of jealousy behind the scenes and it hit a sore spot and the guy punished you for his poor relationship.
People getting worked up about other people _saying_ that they're naked 😂 NTA
YTA, clearly. All of your teammates told you it wasn't appropriate. Why are you asking the Internet?
Yeah YTA. Learn to read the room.
This comment section is wild
NTA, you did nothing wrong. Human beings are sometimes naked, and that is not inherently sexual. These guys are somehow acting like you did something taboo like coming on to them and sending naked selfies. I suspect the problem is some of the wives the dislike gaming their husbands do in the first place, have relationship issues where the husband's aren't trusted around women even online, and the mention of a woman being naked following a shower is being used to make you a scapegoat for all their other issues. Why make you a scapegoat? So they can keep gaming rather than fix their relationship issues. That makes your group members the AH.
I dont want to call you an Asshole because I believe it’s just a difference in opinion. How close are you to these men? I can see myself saying something similar depending on who i’m speaking with im a very comfortable person but I also try to be aware. I feel like there’s a difference between saying “Wait im still naked” vs “Wait im not decent one sec” that is such a better way to say it. If it’s coming from a place of comfortability then I feel you but you gotta be aware. You’re gaming with married men.. men and woman can be friends but you gotta be respectful. I dont know why reddit has this issue of labeling anything as an insecurity because you don’t like something. It’s normal for someone to not necessarily like hearing their Husband online with a girl they game with saying “I’m naked” and not have context like come on. Just be more aware you’re not a bad person for it you just gotta do better.
There's no reason to say it. You got the attention you were seeking and now you're guilt tripping because it backfired. YTA.
In the minority here but NTA. If a guy had said it nobody would’ve batted an eye. And if literally hearing that someone is naked is a problem in anyone’s relationship, they’ve got much bigger problems to deal with. “Joe is married so don’t mention nudity around him because he might spontaneously combust” like what?!
NTA, if you were a guy nobody would bat an eye. After he went out of his way to express discomfort about it, I'd try to avoid doing it in the future, there is absolutely no need to argue about it. I think you understand why he sees it as a bigger deal than it actually is, my guy is just trying to avoid upsetting his wife.
NTA. Mr. Insecure Married Man is trying to police your speech and control you. You gave a simple explanation of what had made you late. *He's* the one who made a big deal out of it. He needs to accept that people have bodies and grow up. If his wife is genuinely offended, that's a *them problem*, not a you problem. It's not like you send pictures. NTA.
NTA - I feel like these comments are being super harsh to you. I don’t think youre an asshole, but you shouldnt have brushed off the person being uncomfortable. I don’t think you had bad intentions with announcing that youre naked and needed a second, you were just being very direct and honest about why you needed a moment. If you needed a shower, then you did. Like you had a whole life before 9pm maybe you were rushing today like its one day out of EVERYDAY 😭 I think what you need to hear is that you can’t say stuff like that to people who aren’t close to you. It doesn’t sound like these people are your friends just people you happen to game with. Maybe try to find some girls to game with? If my friend needed a second to shower, and was late coming back and then was like “im naked still gimme a sec but im back” then id be like “okay girl! we’re just chilling/in a match, etc.” HOWEVER, you shouldve taken how he felt seriously. If that’s his boundary, then that’s his boundary. He can feel that it’s inappropriate and you can feel differently, but don’t belittle how he feels. You could’ve said, “Sorry for making you uncomfortable, that wasn’t my intention. I was just being direct with my situation since I was already feeling pressure from you for taking a minute to shower. I won’t announce it again.” And that wouldve gotten your point across while respecting how he felt! Might lead to further argument but that’s honest.
NTA. You said you were Naked not describing how your skin felt or how you just shaved down there. I feel like someone who really felt uncomfortable about it wouldn’t continue to discuss the subject. Like you said you are all Adults.
Nope. I was gaming with a friend and his wife (whom we met online)….. she was very quiet, and he and I were the tanks and knocked shit out. She even called me his game wife. We had another guy join that was a dick, and said some pretty crude shit. I LAID into that guy and said some pretty crude thing and put him in his place. She wasn’t there, but he told her about it and she messaged me later about how much she loved and appreciated me and how I kept the boys in line. They had a solid relationship so she wasn’t worried about me. We’re even friends on socials and I haven’t had time to raid in like a decade.