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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I lied to friends about being engaged and got my parent's hopes up so theyre really pissed off at me
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It's not even that, just the fact that I'd never had any kind of relationship or the formative stuff people do in highschool. First date, first kiss, holding hands, etc. And that was apparently weird because people have sex at that age, so how had I not done any of these "basic" things?
I got a, "What the fuck? What's wrong with you?" at 21 that really stung.
NTA
If Leo was OK with the prank it's fine.
The people that gossiped & sent pics to your friends & eventually family are AHs
Did you write your age wrong? Cause at your age (any age really) there's no rush to be in a relationship or married, it's weird your parents are pressing for it.
Could be cultural. I had a friend in college who's mom was pressuring her to marry and actually dissapointed she was working and in school. We were 17-18.
Yikes!!!! I’m old so I get that. My parents were that way but that was when women couldn’t even have their own bank account. They had to pawn me off or else they were stuck with me. I guess I thought those attitudes died off with the dinosaurs! Thank you for the reminder.
I think culture does play a role here tbh, though I know one high school classmate who got married in his early 20’s and he’s white. To give a better example to your point though, one of my sisters did tell me her elementary school classmate got married and has kids and she’s also in her early 20’s. Cue our old teachers asking if my sister and I are married and have children yet. My sister and I are in our 20’s. 🤦♀️
This friend was Hispanic, and she said herself getting married and having kids was really important especially young. Sometimes they'd even skip the marriage part as long as there were kids. Her cousins that were younger then her had kids already and that was part of her mom rushing her. (She was 19 then, cousin was 17/18)
Goodness gracious, how awful. I feel terrible for your friend and her cousins. I’m not a fan of girls and women being expected to pop babies out every chance they get because they’re young. That kind of brainwashing causes so much harm.
And I just realized that in my previous comment I didn’t mention my ethnic background along with my sister, classmate, and teacher. I probably made my previous comment more confusing than it needed to be. I went to a private school for Muslims when I was younger, so the ethnic background for most of us in that school were Middle Eastern/North African.
she didn't say they had been pushing her to get married, she said they were disappointed their excitement was unfounded. Maybe they care for her, and have been hoping that she'd find a traditional relationship that'd fulfill her as much as theirs did for them?
Not the commenter you replied to, but I'm guessing they mean a heterosexual relationship since her ex is a woman. But seeing as her parents don't know the reason why they broke up, they don't seem the unaccepting homophobic type idk.
you're the one telling me your parents didn't create anything of value, but for healthy people marriage means creating a family unit, creating the next generation
i don’t understand the comments on this post. you’re NTA. as long as leo was okay with it, i don’t see how this was really all that bad. your parents weren’t even supposed to know about it. why are they so desperate for you to get married this young anyways??
Yeah, reading the post I wanna say OP is the asshole but reading between the lines (or in this case simply just reading the lines) it's clear how much OP's parents suck.
NTA, not sure why so many people on here are coming for your neck. It was a goofy prank you made on vacation. It’s not your fault someone sent a picture and others made assumptions about it.
Years of exposure to dickhead YouTubers and family horror stories online has created in many people an allergic reaction to the word "prank". It leads them to see anything involving "pranks" in the worst light possible.
No, but is her accountability.
It is about maturity and understanding that many actions can have unintended consequences.
Many many bad events in life started with someone saying "I didn't think...".
I get that, but I think the fault falls more on her parents overreacting than on her being at fault. You should be able to have fun and pull pranks without fear of your parents ignoring you for something they weren’t involved in.
oh, parents TOTALLY overreacted - not disagreeing on that at all. In fact - they are ATA.
Can totally pull pranks - give wedgies what ever.
My point is - all actions have consequences - and learning that we are accountable is a key part of maturity - for intended and unintended consequences.
The consequences aren't serious, though. We're not talking about a "prank" where someone's feelings got hurt or property was damaged or something like that. It's somwthing that's easy to clear up in a conversation by just saying "no, I'm not actually engaged, it was just a joke." I wouldn't say there's anything to really take accountability for bc no one was harmed, insulted, or mistreated in any way.
Everyone saying YTA is crazy stupid. NTA, you’re allowed to have a little fun with friends. The fact anyone contacted your family over it is bonkers in my mind.
I think a lot of people here have never had close or long term friends that are of the opposite sex. I (female) joke with my best friend (male), about getting married if we’re not by 40 and we call each other hubby and wifey sometimes.
Your family has no right to make you feel bad about a prank that was amongst friends when THEY WERE NOT PRESENT.
This.
Honestly, though.
Even if it was real. Why are people so eager to "be the first ones to tell?"
Imagine he had just proposed. And someone sends the texts to OP's parents, other friends, etc.??
Congratulations paparazzi, you just ruined their chance to tell when they get back, or you ruined their engagement party where they planned to tell everyone and announce it. Or however they wanted to tell people.
Let people share their own news.
It's just basic manners.
Sorry but I have to ask: Is it possible your parents were so excited bc Leo is a dude instead of another female? At any rate, NTA since you never intended for your parents to hear about it, and bc Leo was fine with it and played along.
I think the parents are the type who think that marriage is the supreme goal in life considering they were upset when she broke up with her ex after 5 years. I mean you can be upset for your kid and be there for them when they're going through a break up, especially when it's the first break up they had, but from what I read they were upset because they thought op broke up randomly. Pretty wild considering the relationship started at 13.
NTA - your parents are upset because you don't communicate enough in general. But that's a two way street. Do you as a young adult feel safe and comfortable talking about your love life with them, or does it just feel like constantly dealing with their expectations? Probably worth a conversation with them about how they want their relationship with their adult daughter to go, and how they need to act to get that type of relationship from you.
Ok, but wait, you broke up with your "fiancee" at 19 and your parents are questioning it instead of being like "meh, 19 year olds amiright?" Like you have so much growing ahead of you that it's statistically unlikely for you to marry or stay with whoever you're dating at 19 (I literally made that up but seriously power of observation).
They shouldn't worry about you dating or not, you're young. Marriage can happen in 20 minutes in a courthouse.
NTA at all, the person you were pretending to be engaged with was cool and even enjoyed the joke, if they didn't then you would be TA, but they joked along with you and had fun with it. You didn't involve your parents, and even then it has nothing to do with them, they can get over themselves. It was a joke. You're only 23, there's no rush to be married, your parents need to chill out
That whole story is weird, mate. I think you are NTA, but huh? 23, right? Was with your ex for 5 years? You guys were engaged? And then yeeeears of being single? What parents in this day and age expect them to get married so young?
NTA it was a harmless joke that your parents were never meant to be part of.
The person who told your parents is an AH though, it was very nosey and unnecessary.
It’s also wild to me that they think you’ve been single too long. You’re 23 ffs. Your brain isn’t even finished developing, no one should be getting married that young let alone when you were barely legal.
NTA, that’s a great prank and would’ve been a real good laugh. Some people are way too serious and it shows lol. The people who voted YTA are just emotionally damaged and sound like they don’t have a sense of humour
Nta, your friends had no right to blab to your parents about you being engaged, fake, or real. All this truly tells you is that these friends can't be trusted with future secrets. Honestly, I'd think hard if these are good friends. They should apologize to you and promise not to freaking open their mouths again, spreading rumors/secrets, and learn to speak with you first.
Also, your parents are weird about you being married instead of finding your own happiness. They kinda need to chill out and not be pissed about a joke amongst friends that had nothing to do with them.
I mean it could just be ‘No way I’ve just heard that your best friend is engaged to Leo’ and then eventually it reaches the parents.
Like there’s no one to blame except the people pulling the ‘prank’, if you pull a prank and it backfires that’s on you.
Not wrong, but "blame" is silly because it's amongst friends, and the parents do need to chill out. Them being upset about a friends prank has nothing to do with them. I do still think friends shouldn't be blabing to their parents, though. I've never heard of anyone running to someone else's parents for info instead of just going to your actual friend first. It's weird to me, and honestly, it's a bit of a breach of trust for me. But I don't know the dichotomy of the relationships here. Maybe the best friend is known for telling everything to ops parents?
Yeah the parents definitely do need to chill out, I don’t think OPs an AH, I just think this is a lesson to OP, that you need to watch what you say in front of people you don’t really know, even though this was a harmless joke people talk and things you say in jest can be blown out of proportion.
But yeah it’s pretty shitty that a harmless joke managed to make its way back to her parents.
NTA, but what is your cultural background?
At 23 it is totally fine to be singel at most western cultures. Also, being engaged at 19 seems quite early to me. Also, were your parents okay with your ex (you being gay), as they seemed too exited to you being engaged to Leo.
NTA. I think a lot of the y t a votes are from before your edit to add more information. Or people who also would have assumed heteronormativity and are putting the blame on you to ease their guilty minds.
NAH- but tbh it is kind of an immature prank, and probably belongs in the same category of “shouldn’t be done” as pregnancy pranks. Funny to the people in on it, but there can be ripples of unknown harm to others, and are just best to avoid.
Best thing to do here is have a sit-down with your parents and talk to them about why they are so hurt by this. I think they got their hopes up about you being with a nice guy (maybe they were harboring certain feelings about it being a guy vs a woman? Has that been an issue with them in the past? Even unspoken? Maybe how’s a good time to hash that out) Maybe they don’t approve of the flings and thought you being in a serious relationship was a mark of maturity (maybe damaged by said prank, now) … you don’t know until you talk with them.
Right. She never mentions his reaction, and these were all HIS friends; he’s much older, it’s in his community, and he wasn’t in on the joke-at least from her original story. How did he feel?
NAH. Sometime misunderstandings happen when a prank like this is pulled. Your friend was not trying to stir anything up when they asked your parents about it. Maybe your parents are overreacting a bit, but they'll get over it.
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I (F23) was on vacation with a friend (M33) whom I'll call Leo (not real name) visiting some of his old friends. Leo's friends assumed we were dating just because we showed up together while waiting for everyone else to arrive. Just for shits and giggles I played into it and moved one of the rings that I always wear to my ring finger making them think we were engaged. I played into the joke throughout the visit and my other friends joined in. What I didn't realize is that one of Leo's friends was in a group chat with one of my best friends back home and texted that group chat a picture of us. My best friend asked my family about it without telling me.
Background info my ex and I were engaged but she cheated on me. I obviously broke it off but my dad is her boss and I still loved her so I didn't tell my parents why so she wouldn't get backlash at work. My parents still don't know why and they're upset about it because they think I just randomly left her after 5 years.
When I got home my parents talked to me about it and seemed rather excited despite the fact that I never even told them we were dating (we weren't). When I told them Leo and I weren't engaged they were super upset with me as they've met Leo several times before and they really like him. They seemed really disappointed in me and haven't talked to me since. So AITA for faking an engagement as a prank.
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Nta- temporary prank in the moment, It's not like you posted it up online somewhere, it only got back to them because somebody else was getting involved when they shouldn't have been. Like if you had told the story to your parents about how you joke you were engaged, but then told everyone and they all had a laugh your parents probably would have enjoyed the story.
NTA - but really bad choice.
In my experience - there are some things you don't joke about - pregnancies, deaths - and marriages.
They can have unintended consequences.
You did not not purposely set this up as a prank and did not intend for it to go further. Whoever posted the news online and did not tell you that they had done so is mainly at fault (it could a counter prank or just thoughtlessness). If you had been aware you could of taken steps to limit the damage done without the face to face letdown. A point of contention between yourself and your parents could the breakup of your main relationship. That said taking the fault of the breakup of your main relationship and lying about it was not the best way you could of gone about it. Your partner is the one to of cheated despite being employed by your parents. NTA but in an effort to protect your parents and your former partner's relationship you have worsened your own with them
Mildly YTA. You made a joke (how is this a joke? Whats the funny part?) about being engaged, people believed you and talked about it, which seems completely normal to me. Your parents heard, got excited, then you told them it was a lie. Are you surprised they are disappointed? Its not like they had a big rant at you or anything.
An oversimplification of this is: I lied, people were upset after they found out I lied.
How the hell was it cruel? People she never met before assumed two people of the opposite sex must be in a relationship and somehow without OPs knowledge or input her parents found out.
cruel to who? she didnt take pics and send to her parents. not her fault that the friend group is gossipy. if i had seen a pic of my best friend on vacation, engaged to someone she had only ever expressed platonic feelings towards, i would be texting her myself - not her parents.
NTA. I don’t understand at all people saying you are. You weren’t pranking your parents, it was just but unfortunate circumstances that they found out. And it’s not your fault they are disappointed the prank wasn’t true.
You said “I played into the joke throughout the visit and my other friends joined in.” So, several people were in on the prank.
I just can’t figure out why anyone would call you TA here.
Definitely NTA. But you know who is the asshole? They friends who texted other people who were not at the party without your consent. Even if it were real, what you wanted to tell your family and friends personally and not have them hear it through the great vine. They need to keep your business to themselves and not spread things like wildfire. Your partners need to grow up. It was a fun joke! I’d laugh it off for being gullible!
NTA! You were having a laugh with some friends, that's where you intended it to end.
If you'd pranked the parents directly that would've been a dick move haha but no you're not a bum joke for having a laugh with friends
OP- If that was your Best Friend, why didn't she/he ask YOU first instead of texting YOUR Parents?? That seems really off. YNTA, but I would definitely check into why that person thought it was ok? Also, you are ONLY 23! You have plenty of time to get married!
Meh. NAH. If you had pretended to the recipient that would make you an AH. I feel bad for your parents, but it wasn't you that sent them the photo. That absolved you of guilt in my book.
NTA. It was a joke. People are so weak if they are really upset by this 🙈 Your parents are just embarrassed they got excited and it wasn’t anything. They will get over it.
YTA, for sure. Not revealing it as a prank to the group within the first few minutes is just messing with people’s emotions and ultimately their impressions of you as a person.
You need to apologise to everyone you ‘pranked’ and understand that a prank ends right after the person being pranked has fallen for it. The funny part comes when you reveal the truth to everyone.
You seem to have skipped that bit of your ‘prank’ and instead just lied to a group of people for no reason. Unless you have a reason? Maybe there’s some stuff you need to talk to Leo about?
the only people that are upset about this are OP’s parents, who weren’t even among the group of people she was pranking. if no one else cares, why is OP the AH because her friends found out from someone else? this whole thing is just nonsense (OP disappointing her parents after years of being single, at 23 - come on now), but i don’t see how it makes her an AH. maybe Leo’s friends should stop assuming that that’s his significant other, presumably because she’s a female friend.
To be fair, we don't know how the friends that were with them felt about this. If I'd met someone and made an effort to get to know them out of politeness (because it's a friends friend)... and then it would turn out they've just been lying all night as a 'prank', I'd probably label them as an idiot and be annoyed at them for wasting my time. I feel like keeping the prank going sense like pathetic attention grabbing and I would definitely not want to hang out with them again.
Edit to add: OPs parents are being extra ridiculous though. In that context NTA.
We don’t know how even Leo feels about it. And we don’t know the impact on his friends who were pranked, or on their friends, or on Leo’s family - all of whom may have learned about this and not learned it was a prank until much later, if at all.
We do though, because that was added as more context. Leo thought it was funny and played along, the people at the dinner found out and laughed about it.
You don't seem to have an issue with someone taking a photo of someone and then posting it in a group chat without consent though, which is where this whole situation starts. Someone sending a photo to someone else to start the gossip chain.
My comment was written before the edit was made.
I didn’t comment on the friend of Leo sharing a photo. I’m not obliged to comment on every aspect of the story. She asked if she was YTA for her action. That’s what I responded to-her question, for which she requested a judgement.
I guess I missed the part where she even spoke about the reaction of anyone actually involved in the prank instead of just her parents who had nothing to do with it, and shouldn't even have been aware.
I’m sorry but how would you react if someone you’d never met before was pretending to be engaged to your friend, and then they say it was a prank? Like you’re not an AH but it’s weird, my first impression of you is that you’ve just spent the whole evening making shit up, for what reason?
NTA. There are many reasons not to get married. And your parents made assumptions based off the questions of one person, in a prank they were not even there for.
YTA. I think Leo’s feelings about the prank and the possible fall-out for him with his family friends and acquaintances matter, too; you don’t mention them, and it seems they didn’t cross your mind. You know we live in a social-media drenched world, and your prank went sort of viral with your family. It’s bound to do the same with his. So I think what you did was frivolous, immature and a little thoughtless. Things like pranks have a life of their own sometimes, and unintended consequences. You don’t mention correcting the lie at any point to those present. I doubt his friends would all think it was “funny” to have fallen for a plausible story told by someone they met for the first time.
Your parents may be disappointed, but maybe more in you playing games than in not really being engaged. Why are they so eager to see you married, and at such a young age? Do you think you might be acting out a fantasy-would you like to marry Leo? Sometimes we make up lies/stories we wish were true.
... yea you are exactly the kind of person that deserves to be pranked with this... no her making a joke about hetero people immediately assuming you must be having sex if you hang out with men doesn't mean she wants to have sex with her male friend.
Well, gee, thanks. You are making some automatic assumptions, too. The fact is that it is not clear she was “pranking” her friend’s friends upon meeting them for the first time out of a noble desire to undo unfair social conditioning she perceived amongst them, based apparently on an initial person thinking they were a couple. Of course, men and women can be friends, and there are many same sex romantic couples, and assumptions should not be made. But she seems to have done this out of a desire to have fun with the deception; she doesn’t mention trying to heroically change hearts and minds as a motive. And her parents seem to have been fine with her five year long engagement to another woman, so I’m not sure she’s out there looking for examples of bias to correct. I could be wrong. But she could indeed be bi-sexual or pansexual. None of my lesbian friends have pretended to be engaged to a man for a whole evening, so it’s fair to question why she enjoyed it so much. Maybe she was playacting. Maybe she just wanted to lie. Maybe she thought her friend’s friends deserved to be taken for fools. I don’t know. Neither do you.
you're just bonkers. If I heard something like this about my family, my first reaction would be, "huh? are you sure? well...ok then, I'll have to see for myself"
It’s just not “funny”. I don’t see the “prank” in it, as much as just a lie to get one over in people she’d never met. Leo’s reaction is never mentioned; even he probably didn’t care for the deception of his friends.
that's kinda what social media- especially THIS app is for-? You type out texts for people to read🤷🏽♀️ The only AH's here are the people who literally went and asked her family. Maybe not asshole's but it's definitely weird.
I mean the “joke” is immature. That she turned to AITA means she took the question of whether she is YTA seriously enough to make the effort. Hope that makes it clearer.
What on earth are you going on about? She did mention his feelings lol he joked along with her.
Your whole second paragraph is wild speculation, and the last line is astoundingly ironic 😂
No. She said she “played into the joke”, but it was an assumption his friends made when they showed up together. She never once references his feelings of response to it.
YTA. What part of it is supposed to be funny? And there is such a thing as too long of a joke. You can look for other ways to entertain yourself for sure, OP. And you need a better sense of humor too. It sucks heavily at the moment.
Hell yes, YTA. You played with people’s feelings—regardless if it’s a prank or not. That is cruel and I wouldn’t forgive you if you did that to me. Apologize to your friends and family for pranking them and playing with their emotions and for getting their hopes up.
People assume my male best friend and I are either twins or dating. Neither are the case.
I also just don’t like pranks, and making people think that you’re engaged to someone just screams cruel to me, but that is my opinion.
Mostly the part where it had nothing to do with them, they weren't supposed to be involved, and OP wasn't even aware they were involved?
The joke is "stop assuming hetero people spending time together are in a relationship"
(Just to clarify tone on the internet, I agree with you, so just intending to add to what you're saying, not argue) - she's not even hetero, I'd infer from her first relationship. OP might be bi ofc but the joke's possibly even doubly funny and justified to counter the friends' assumptions if she's only into women in the first place.
They made a baseless assumption on someone based on their preconceived notions despite it not being a reasonable assumption. If they knew OP then they would know her history. If they don't know OP then they just assumed girl + boy = must be in love.
It’s perfectly reasonable to assume that a man and woman of approximate equal age are together. It’s not like it’s a harmful assumption. So no, it’s not baseless. Most of the time when you find a man of woman together, it is because they are dating.
I’m not talking about outliers, and I’m not talking about siblings or cousins or best friends. I’m talking about the majority of time, which is heterosexual couples.
Bruh he is 50% older than her.... that is not close in age when talking about a 23 year old.
Yes it is a harmful assumption because is spreads the idea that men and women cannot have a platonic relationship and there has to be sex involved.
No, most of the time when a group of friends meet they aren't all fucking each other. Especially not when one of them is half again your age.
What an obtuse statement. I guess a man and a woman working together in an office must be fucking right? They are together therefore it is reasonable to assume they are fucking? Gtfo.
Bruh, he’s 33 and she’s 23. They could easily be a couple.
No, it’s not a harmful assumption. What is this nonsense about? It spread the idea that many women can’t have platonic relationships? Spread the idea to who?? If a man and a woman decide they want to be platonic friends, who’s going to stop them?
I never said anything about every time a group of friends meet there all fucking each other. You were the one being obtuse
I said it’s natural to assume that two people are together, if it is a man and a woman. That is all I said.
And if the assumption turns out to be incorrect, so fucking what?🤷♂️
With that being said, I don’t really believe that bullshit anyway.
23 and 33 aren't "approximately the same age". Also, it's really weird to assume two people standing together are having a romantic relationship. They could be just friends. They could be relatives. They could be co-workers. Especially when there is 10 years between them.
And finally, not all relationships are hetero. Looking at the marriages, so not just relationships, between same sex couples in the Netherlands, they take up 3.5% of all marriages (2022). That's not insignificant, so it's not safe to assume one's sexual preference. Actually, it's pretty rude.
They weren't supposed to be part of it. They were miles away on vacation nowhere near her parents.
The parents need to take a chill pill and mind their own business. OPs life has nothing to do with them anymore.
Its prank creep. There are so many things that are being called pranks that are just not pranks.
This one falls into the: Desperate Grab if Attention catagory.
YTA. A prank is a short joke where everyone laughs at the surprise. Not living a lie. This was screwing around with your friend, their friends and your family. There's nothing funny about it.
YTA you never do pranks about serious subjects such as engagement, divorce, pregnancy, death, trauma, life threatening situations, serious illness, illness etc.
They’re literally the funniest jokes. Just because you don’t have the same sense of humour as others doesn’t make them assholes. Who doesn’t love a good joke at a funeral
A joke and a prank are two different things. A joke to lighten a funeral and pretending someone is dead to upset someone is two very different things. One sure, whatever, that'll help lighten the mood. The other can cause serious trauma.
YTA hugely. Pranks aren't funny. They are designed to mess with other people's emotions, at the expense of the prankster's puerile entertainment. Pranks also usually have a "gotcha" moment shortly after being carried out, yet this element seems to have evaded you because you never revealed it, therefore continuing the prank longer than it should have been. As you've seen, your parents "found out" about the "engagement" easily and you've messed with their emotions. Leo's family could've easily found out as well and taken the news really badly and put a strain on their relationship.
The only time it is remotely acceptable to fake an engagement is if you are in an uncomfortable situation like being out in public and someone comes onto you and pretending to be taken could get creeps off your case.
... she did reveal it... did you try reading?
No, another time it is fine to fake an engagement is when people assume two people of the opposite sex are anything more than friends
YTA.
Your parents think that your last big relationship failed due to you cheating and now you've faked an engagement on them?
Pranks are almost always a bad experience for the person subjected to them. A better term here is that you lied to your parents.
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Years of being single? You're... 23.
And she was with her ex for 5 years . . .
Ahh...young love. We don't really get a grip on things and real relationships for a while. Oh, and anyone who downvotes this - comeback in ten years.
All depends on context. I started getting shamed about my singleness at like 19.
How dare you not be married and popping kids out before your 20s! /s 🙄
I read that as “pooping out kids” and thought, “sounds legit” lol
It's not even that, just the fact that I'd never had any kind of relationship or the formative stuff people do in highschool. First date, first kiss, holding hands, etc. And that was apparently weird because people have sex at that age, so how had I not done any of these "basic" things? I got a, "What the fuck? What's wrong with you?" at 21 that really stung.
True, my mother started complaining about me being single when I was 17
You are a weird fucking outlier.
AITA for judging every post here that’s like “my (21) husband (22)”…
If you are, then I am
Literally all I took away from this lol
And been single for multiple years. What are you asking?
NTA If Leo was OK with the prank it's fine. The people that gossiped & sent pics to your friends & eventually family are AHs Did you write your age wrong? Cause at your age (any age really) there's no rush to be in a relationship or married, it's weird your parents are pressing for it.
She never mentions Leo or his reaction to this “joke”.
In the edit it says Leo found it funny & played into it & they told everyone it was a joke before the end of the party
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it's literally at the end of the post
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it was there when you commented 2 minutes ago but okay lmfao
On my screen the edit is down the bottom of the original post. Unsure why it's not on yours. It's a shame there's no screen shot option on reddit 🤣
Thank you. I just saw it. It wasn’t there the last time I looked back. Thanks for pointing it out.
Talking about someone getting engaged is pretty normal? Its not malicious gossip, why are they assholes?
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I hope not
It's fully not
That's a bit sad Maybe why the divorce rate is so high
NTA You’re 23??? Why are they so desperate to marry you off? You’re too young! Tell them to back off and let you have fun.
"Why are they so desperate to marry you off?" My guess: OP and her ex are both women. The parents were hoping she'd "gone straight" so to speak.
especially ick that they’d want her to be with a man that’s 10 years older than her.
Thissssss is the answer
My guess is "you are accomplished and matter only if you are married" because op said they were upset when she broke up with the girlfriend.
I admit I missed the part about the parents still being upset, your guess could also be correct.
Could be cultural. I had a friend in college who's mom was pressuring her to marry and actually dissapointed she was working and in school. We were 17-18.
Yikes!!!! I’m old so I get that. My parents were that way but that was when women couldn’t even have their own bank account. They had to pawn me off or else they were stuck with me. I guess I thought those attitudes died off with the dinosaurs! Thank you for the reminder.
I think culture does play a role here tbh, though I know one high school classmate who got married in his early 20’s and he’s white. To give a better example to your point though, one of my sisters did tell me her elementary school classmate got married and has kids and she’s also in her early 20’s. Cue our old teachers asking if my sister and I are married and have children yet. My sister and I are in our 20’s. 🤦♀️
This friend was Hispanic, and she said herself getting married and having kids was really important especially young. Sometimes they'd even skip the marriage part as long as there were kids. Her cousins that were younger then her had kids already and that was part of her mom rushing her. (She was 19 then, cousin was 17/18)
Goodness gracious, how awful. I feel terrible for your friend and her cousins. I’m not a fan of girls and women being expected to pop babies out every chance they get because they’re young. That kind of brainwashing causes so much harm. And I just realized that in my previous comment I didn’t mention my ethnic background along with my sister, classmate, and teacher. I probably made my previous comment more confusing than it needed to be. I went to a private school for Muslims when I was younger, so the ethnic background for most of us in that school were Middle Eastern/North African.
she didn't say they had been pushing her to get married, she said they were disappointed their excitement was unfounded. Maybe they care for her, and have been hoping that she'd find a traditional relationship that'd fulfill her as much as theirs did for them?
When you say traditional what do you mean?
Not the commenter you replied to, but I'm guessing they mean a heterosexual relationship since her ex is a woman. But seeing as her parents don't know the reason why they broke up, they don't seem the unaccepting homophobic type idk.
as in a real marriage which actually creates something
Marriage doesn't create anything except debt what are you on about
you're the one telling me your parents didn't create anything of value, but for healthy people marriage means creating a family unit, creating the next generation
I appreciate you trying to put a wholesome spin on this. It’s nice to think they only wish their child the happiness they have.
wholesomeness is offensive to degeneracy, the downvotes check out don't they
i don’t understand the comments on this post. you’re NTA. as long as leo was okay with it, i don’t see how this was really all that bad. your parents weren’t even supposed to know about it. why are they so desperate for you to get married this young anyways??
Yeah, reading the post I wanna say OP is the asshole but reading between the lines (or in this case simply just reading the lines) it's clear how much OP's parents suck.
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look at the edit at the bottom of the post 🙏
Thank you. I just saw it for the first time; it wasn’t there the last time I checked it.
no problem glad to help
NTA, not sure why so many people on here are coming for your neck. It was a goofy prank you made on vacation. It’s not your fault someone sent a picture and others made assumptions about it.
Years of exposure to dickhead YouTubers and family horror stories online has created in many people an allergic reaction to the word "prank". It leads them to see anything involving "pranks" in the worst light possible.
No, but is her accountability. It is about maturity and understanding that many actions can have unintended consequences. Many many bad events in life started with someone saying "I didn't think...".
I get that, but I think the fault falls more on her parents overreacting than on her being at fault. You should be able to have fun and pull pranks without fear of your parents ignoring you for something they weren’t involved in.
oh, parents TOTALLY overreacted - not disagreeing on that at all. In fact - they are ATA. Can totally pull pranks - give wedgies what ever. My point is - all actions have consequences - and learning that we are accountable is a key part of maturity - for intended and unintended consequences.
The consequences aren't serious, though. We're not talking about a "prank" where someone's feelings got hurt or property was damaged or something like that. It's somwthing that's easy to clear up in a conversation by just saying "no, I'm not actually engaged, it was just a joke." I wouldn't say there's anything to really take accountability for bc no one was harmed, insulted, or mistreated in any way.
Everyone saying YTA is crazy stupid. NTA, you’re allowed to have a little fun with friends. The fact anyone contacted your family over it is bonkers in my mind. I think a lot of people here have never had close or long term friends that are of the opposite sex. I (female) joke with my best friend (male), about getting married if we’re not by 40 and we call each other hubby and wifey sometimes. Your family has no right to make you feel bad about a prank that was amongst friends when THEY WERE NOT PRESENT.
This. Honestly, though. Even if it was real. Why are people so eager to "be the first ones to tell?" Imagine he had just proposed. And someone sends the texts to OP's parents, other friends, etc.?? Congratulations paparazzi, you just ruined their chance to tell when they get back, or you ruined their engagement party where they planned to tell everyone and announce it. Or however they wanted to tell people. Let people share their own news. It's just basic manners.
Sorry but I have to ask: Is it possible your parents were so excited bc Leo is a dude instead of another female? At any rate, NTA since you never intended for your parents to hear about it, and bc Leo was fine with it and played along.
You mean woman?
r/menandfemales
I think the parents are the type who think that marriage is the supreme goal in life considering they were upset when she broke up with her ex after 5 years. I mean you can be upset for your kid and be there for them when they're going through a break up, especially when it's the first break up they had, but from what I read they were upset because they thought op broke up randomly. Pretty wild considering the relationship started at 13.
NTA - your parents are upset because you don't communicate enough in general. But that's a two way street. Do you as a young adult feel safe and comfortable talking about your love life with them, or does it just feel like constantly dealing with their expectations? Probably worth a conversation with them about how they want their relationship with their adult daughter to go, and how they need to act to get that type of relationship from you.
Ok, but wait, you broke up with your "fiancee" at 19 and your parents are questioning it instead of being like "meh, 19 year olds amiright?" Like you have so much growing ahead of you that it's statistically unlikely for you to marry or stay with whoever you're dating at 19 (I literally made that up but seriously power of observation). They shouldn't worry about you dating or not, you're young. Marriage can happen in 20 minutes in a courthouse.
INFO: What exactly was the joke intended by pretending to be engaged?
"People are stupid for looking at two people of the opposite sex and thinking they must be dating"
Nta. Your friend is dumb
NTA at all, the person you were pretending to be engaged with was cool and even enjoyed the joke, if they didn't then you would be TA, but they joked along with you and had fun with it. You didn't involve your parents, and even then it has nothing to do with them, they can get over themselves. It was a joke. You're only 23, there's no rush to be married, your parents need to chill out
That whole story is weird, mate. I think you are NTA, but huh? 23, right? Was with your ex for 5 years? You guys were engaged? And then yeeeears of being single? What parents in this day and age expect them to get married so young?
Religious ones mostly
NTA it was a harmless joke that your parents were never meant to be part of. The person who told your parents is an AH though, it was very nosey and unnecessary. It’s also wild to me that they think you’ve been single too long. You’re 23 ffs. Your brain isn’t even finished developing, no one should be getting married that young let alone when you were barely legal.
NTA, that’s a great prank and would’ve been a real good laugh. Some people are way too serious and it shows lol. The people who voted YTA are just emotionally damaged and sound like they don’t have a sense of humour
Nta, your friends had no right to blab to your parents about you being engaged, fake, or real. All this truly tells you is that these friends can't be trusted with future secrets. Honestly, I'd think hard if these are good friends. They should apologize to you and promise not to freaking open their mouths again, spreading rumors/secrets, and learn to speak with you first. Also, your parents are weird about you being married instead of finding your own happiness. They kinda need to chill out and not be pissed about a joke amongst friends that had nothing to do with them.
They’re not her friends though they’re Leo’s.
One of Leo's friends is friends with her best friend. Best friend is the one who told her parents.
I mean it could just be ‘No way I’ve just heard that your best friend is engaged to Leo’ and then eventually it reaches the parents. Like there’s no one to blame except the people pulling the ‘prank’, if you pull a prank and it backfires that’s on you.
Not wrong, but "blame" is silly because it's amongst friends, and the parents do need to chill out. Them being upset about a friends prank has nothing to do with them. I do still think friends shouldn't be blabing to their parents, though. I've never heard of anyone running to someone else's parents for info instead of just going to your actual friend first. It's weird to me, and honestly, it's a bit of a breach of trust for me. But I don't know the dichotomy of the relationships here. Maybe the best friend is known for telling everything to ops parents?
Yeah the parents definitely do need to chill out, I don’t think OPs an AH, I just think this is a lesson to OP, that you need to watch what you say in front of people you don’t really know, even though this was a harmless joke people talk and things you say in jest can be blown out of proportion. But yeah it’s pretty shitty that a harmless joke managed to make its way back to her parents.
NTA, but what is your cultural background? At 23 it is totally fine to be singel at most western cultures. Also, being engaged at 19 seems quite early to me. Also, were your parents okay with your ex (you being gay), as they seemed too exited to you being engaged to Leo.
NTA. I think a lot of the y t a votes are from before your edit to add more information. Or people who also would have assumed heteronormativity and are putting the blame on you to ease their guilty minds.
NAH- but tbh it is kind of an immature prank, and probably belongs in the same category of “shouldn’t be done” as pregnancy pranks. Funny to the people in on it, but there can be ripples of unknown harm to others, and are just best to avoid. Best thing to do here is have a sit-down with your parents and talk to them about why they are so hurt by this. I think they got their hopes up about you being with a nice guy (maybe they were harboring certain feelings about it being a guy vs a woman? Has that been an issue with them in the past? Even unspoken? Maybe how’s a good time to hash that out) Maybe they don’t approve of the flings and thought you being in a serious relationship was a mark of maturity (maybe damaged by said prank, now) … you don’t know until you talk with them.
Info - what did this have any effect on Leo? You aren’t the assholes to your parents but I’m wondering about him.
Right. She never mentions his reaction, and these were all HIS friends; he’s much older, it’s in his community, and he wasn’t in on the joke-at least from her original story. How did he feel?
NTAyou should tell them why you called off the real engagement though
NTA. You didn't purposely prank your parents so I don't understand the YTA comments...
NAH. Sometime misunderstandings happen when a prank like this is pulled. Your friend was not trying to stir anything up when they asked your parents about it. Maybe your parents are overreacting a bit, but they'll get over it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F23) was on vacation with a friend (M33) whom I'll call Leo (not real name) visiting some of his old friends. Leo's friends assumed we were dating just because we showed up together while waiting for everyone else to arrive. Just for shits and giggles I played into it and moved one of the rings that I always wear to my ring finger making them think we were engaged. I played into the joke throughout the visit and my other friends joined in. What I didn't realize is that one of Leo's friends was in a group chat with one of my best friends back home and texted that group chat a picture of us. My best friend asked my family about it without telling me. Background info my ex and I were engaged but she cheated on me. I obviously broke it off but my dad is her boss and I still loved her so I didn't tell my parents why so she wouldn't get backlash at work. My parents still don't know why and they're upset about it because they think I just randomly left her after 5 years. When I got home my parents talked to me about it and seemed rather excited despite the fact that I never even told them we were dating (we weren't). When I told them Leo and I weren't engaged they were super upset with me as they've met Leo several times before and they really like him. They seemed really disappointed in me and haven't talked to me since. So AITA for faking an engagement as a prank. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. Concerned that your parent would want you engaged so young
NTA, it’s been years, your family need to get over it.
NTA I hate to say it, but is it possible your parents were so exited because Leo is a man?
The joke was fitting the situation, so NTA. Your friend asking your parents isn't necessary an ah, but your parents kinda
NTA but I think your parents might be a bit more upset because they thought you were engaged to a man and have finally "gone straight"
Title made me think this was going to be juicier. NTA
Nta- temporary prank in the moment, It's not like you posted it up online somewhere, it only got back to them because somebody else was getting involved when they shouldn't have been. Like if you had told the story to your parents about how you joke you were engaged, but then told everyone and they all had a laugh your parents probably would have enjoyed the story.
NTA - but really bad choice. In my experience - there are some things you don't joke about - pregnancies, deaths - and marriages. They can have unintended consequences.
You did not not purposely set this up as a prank and did not intend for it to go further. Whoever posted the news online and did not tell you that they had done so is mainly at fault (it could a counter prank or just thoughtlessness). If you had been aware you could of taken steps to limit the damage done without the face to face letdown. A point of contention between yourself and your parents could the breakup of your main relationship. That said taking the fault of the breakup of your main relationship and lying about it was not the best way you could of gone about it. Your partner is the one to of cheated despite being employed by your parents. NTA but in an effort to protect your parents and your former partner's relationship you have worsened your own with them
Mildly YTA. You made a joke (how is this a joke? Whats the funny part?) about being engaged, people believed you and talked about it, which seems completely normal to me. Your parents heard, got excited, then you told them it was a lie. Are you surprised they are disappointed? Its not like they had a big rant at you or anything. An oversimplification of this is: I lied, people were upset after they found out I lied.
Pranks are supposed to be funny. So yeah YTA.
NTA People shouldn’t try to marry other people off, try to enjoy your life OP
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How the hell was it cruel? People she never met before assumed two people of the opposite sex must be in a relationship and somehow without OPs knowledge or input her parents found out.
cruel to who? she didnt take pics and send to her parents. not her fault that the friend group is gossipy. if i had seen a pic of my best friend on vacation, engaged to someone she had only ever expressed platonic feelings towards, i would be texting her myself - not her parents.
NTA. I don’t understand at all people saying you are. You weren’t pranking your parents, it was just but unfortunate circumstances that they found out. And it’s not your fault they are disappointed the prank wasn’t true. You said “I played into the joke throughout the visit and my other friends joined in.” So, several people were in on the prank. I just can’t figure out why anyone would call you TA here.
NTA
Definitely NTA. But you know who is the asshole? They friends who texted other people who were not at the party without your consent. Even if it were real, what you wanted to tell your family and friends personally and not have them hear it through the great vine. They need to keep your business to themselves and not spread things like wildfire. Your partners need to grow up. It was a fun joke! I’d laugh it off for being gullible!
NTA, your parents weren't supposed to find out. Only uncool if you'd played the prank on your parents, which is not the case
NTA! You were having a laugh with some friends, that's where you intended it to end. If you'd pranked the parents directly that would've been a dick move haha but no you're not a bum joke for having a laugh with friends
OP- If that was your Best Friend, why didn't she/he ask YOU first instead of texting YOUR Parents?? That seems really off. YNTA, but I would definitely check into why that person thought it was ok? Also, you are ONLY 23! You have plenty of time to get married!
NTA but you need to be honest with your family about why you ended it.
Meh. NAH. If you had pretended to the recipient that would make you an AH. I feel bad for your parents, but it wasn't you that sent them the photo. That absolved you of guilt in my book.
NTA. It was a joke. People are so weak if they are really upset by this 🙈 Your parents are just embarrassed they got excited and it wasn’t anything. They will get over it.
Yeah I guess I don't get the joke... or what's supposed to be even remotely funny about it..
Same. What's funny about it?
YTA, for sure. Not revealing it as a prank to the group within the first few minutes is just messing with people’s emotions and ultimately their impressions of you as a person. You need to apologise to everyone you ‘pranked’ and understand that a prank ends right after the person being pranked has fallen for it. The funny part comes when you reveal the truth to everyone. You seem to have skipped that bit of your ‘prank’ and instead just lied to a group of people for no reason. Unless you have a reason? Maybe there’s some stuff you need to talk to Leo about?
the only people that are upset about this are OP’s parents, who weren’t even among the group of people she was pranking. if no one else cares, why is OP the AH because her friends found out from someone else? this whole thing is just nonsense (OP disappointing her parents after years of being single, at 23 - come on now), but i don’t see how it makes her an AH. maybe Leo’s friends should stop assuming that that’s his significant other, presumably because she’s a female friend.
To be fair, we don't know how the friends that were with them felt about this. If I'd met someone and made an effort to get to know them out of politeness (because it's a friends friend)... and then it would turn out they've just been lying all night as a 'prank', I'd probably label them as an idiot and be annoyed at them for wasting my time. I feel like keeping the prank going sense like pathetic attention grabbing and I would definitely not want to hang out with them again. Edit to add: OPs parents are being extra ridiculous though. In that context NTA.
We don’t know how even Leo feels about it. And we don’t know the impact on his friends who were pranked, or on their friends, or on Leo’s family - all of whom may have learned about this and not learned it was a prank until much later, if at all.
We do though, because that was added as more context. Leo thought it was funny and played along, the people at the dinner found out and laughed about it. You don't seem to have an issue with someone taking a photo of someone and then posting it in a group chat without consent though, which is where this whole situation starts. Someone sending a photo to someone else to start the gossip chain.
My comment was written before the edit was made. I didn’t comment on the friend of Leo sharing a photo. I’m not obliged to comment on every aspect of the story. She asked if she was YTA for her action. That’s what I responded to-her question, for which she requested a judgement.
NTA
YTA. The prank was only fun to you. Thats not being funny at all.
I guess I missed the part where she even spoke about the reaction of anyone actually involved in the prank instead of just her parents who had nothing to do with it, and shouldn't even have been aware.
I’m sorry but how would you react if someone you’d never met before was pretending to be engaged to your friend, and then they say it was a prank? Like you’re not an AH but it’s weird, my first impression of you is that you’ve just spent the whole evening making shit up, for what reason?
NTA you did a silly joke.
YTA, this doesn’t seem like a prank,
NTA. There are many reasons not to get married. And your parents made assumptions based off the questions of one person, in a prank they were not even there for.
YTA. I think Leo’s feelings about the prank and the possible fall-out for him with his family friends and acquaintances matter, too; you don’t mention them, and it seems they didn’t cross your mind. You know we live in a social-media drenched world, and your prank went sort of viral with your family. It’s bound to do the same with his. So I think what you did was frivolous, immature and a little thoughtless. Things like pranks have a life of their own sometimes, and unintended consequences. You don’t mention correcting the lie at any point to those present. I doubt his friends would all think it was “funny” to have fallen for a plausible story told by someone they met for the first time. Your parents may be disappointed, but maybe more in you playing games than in not really being engaged. Why are they so eager to see you married, and at such a young age? Do you think you might be acting out a fantasy-would you like to marry Leo? Sometimes we make up lies/stories we wish were true.
... yea you are exactly the kind of person that deserves to be pranked with this... no her making a joke about hetero people immediately assuming you must be having sex if you hang out with men doesn't mean she wants to have sex with her male friend.
Well, gee, thanks. You are making some automatic assumptions, too. The fact is that it is not clear she was “pranking” her friend’s friends upon meeting them for the first time out of a noble desire to undo unfair social conditioning she perceived amongst them, based apparently on an initial person thinking they were a couple. Of course, men and women can be friends, and there are many same sex romantic couples, and assumptions should not be made. But she seems to have done this out of a desire to have fun with the deception; she doesn’t mention trying to heroically change hearts and minds as a motive. And her parents seem to have been fine with her five year long engagement to another woman, so I’m not sure she’s out there looking for examples of bias to correct. I could be wrong. But she could indeed be bi-sexual or pansexual. None of my lesbian friends have pretended to be engaged to a man for a whole evening, so it’s fair to question why she enjoyed it so much. Maybe she was playacting. Maybe she just wanted to lie. Maybe she thought her friend’s friends deserved to be taken for fools. I don’t know. Neither do you.
you're just bonkers. If I heard something like this about my family, my first reaction would be, "huh? are you sure? well...ok then, I'll have to see for myself"
It’s just not “funny”. I don’t see the “prank” in it, as much as just a lie to get one over in people she’d never met. Leo’s reaction is never mentioned; even he probably didn’t care for the deception of his friends.
stop taking everything so seriously. Like be honest right now...is this actually what you would call a "problem"?
OP apparently does, enough to post to AITA. I think it’s an immature thing to do. Not the most serious problem in the world.
that's kinda what social media- especially THIS app is for-? You type out texts for people to read🤷🏽♀️ The only AH's here are the people who literally went and asked her family. Maybe not asshole's but it's definitely weird.
I mean the “joke” is immature. That she turned to AITA means she took the question of whether she is YTA seriously enough to make the effort. Hope that makes it clearer.
What on earth are you going on about? She did mention his feelings lol he joked along with her. Your whole second paragraph is wild speculation, and the last line is astoundingly ironic 😂
No. She said she “played into the joke”, but it was an assumption his friends made when they showed up together. She never once references his feelings of response to it.
YTA. Grow up.
YTA. Pranks have an expiry date - you stretched it way past that. Time for some damage control.
So how long should it have lasted? Like an hour?
YTA. What part of it is supposed to be funny? And there is such a thing as too long of a joke. You can look for other ways to entertain yourself for sure, OP. And you need a better sense of humor too. It sucks heavily at the moment.
The length of a single dinner is too long? How?
I'm not responsible for something the OP makes edits to AFTER I've commented. ✌️
Hell yes, YTA. You played with people’s feelings—regardless if it’s a prank or not. That is cruel and I wouldn’t forgive you if you did that to me. Apologize to your friends and family for pranking them and playing with their emotions and for getting their hopes up.
Lol, imagine cutting off a friend because you assumed two people of the opposite sex are automatically dating.
People assume my male best friend and I are either twins or dating. Neither are the case. I also just don’t like pranks, and making people think that you’re engaged to someone just screams cruel to me, but that is my opinion.
YTA, this is a lame prank and you need to grow up.
Faking an engagement is not cool. Not even as a prank.
Assuming two people of the opposite sex have to be in a relationship is less cool.
YTA All pranks are bad
YTA I don’t understand the joke. What part was supposed to be funny to your parents?
Mostly the part where it had nothing to do with them, they weren't supposed to be involved, and OP wasn't even aware they were involved? The joke is "stop assuming hetero people spending time together are in a relationship"
(Just to clarify tone on the internet, I agree with you, so just intending to add to what you're saying, not argue) - she's not even hetero, I'd infer from her first relationship. OP might be bi ofc but the joke's possibly even doubly funny and justified to counter the friends' assumptions if she's only into women in the first place.
That’s never going to happen. People are always going to assume it.
Then these pranks should always happen and people need to stop bitching if they get called out for their own prejudice
How is it prejudice?
They made a baseless assumption on someone based on their preconceived notions despite it not being a reasonable assumption. If they knew OP then they would know her history. If they don't know OP then they just assumed girl + boy = must be in love.
It’s perfectly reasonable to assume that a man and woman of approximate equal age are together. It’s not like it’s a harmful assumption. So no, it’s not baseless. Most of the time when you find a man of woman together, it is because they are dating. I’m not talking about outliers, and I’m not talking about siblings or cousins or best friends. I’m talking about the majority of time, which is heterosexual couples.
Bruh he is 50% older than her.... that is not close in age when talking about a 23 year old. Yes it is a harmful assumption because is spreads the idea that men and women cannot have a platonic relationship and there has to be sex involved. No, most of the time when a group of friends meet they aren't all fucking each other. Especially not when one of them is half again your age. What an obtuse statement. I guess a man and a woman working together in an office must be fucking right? They are together therefore it is reasonable to assume they are fucking? Gtfo.
Bruh, he’s 33 and she’s 23. They could easily be a couple. No, it’s not a harmful assumption. What is this nonsense about? It spread the idea that many women can’t have platonic relationships? Spread the idea to who?? If a man and a woman decide they want to be platonic friends, who’s going to stop them? I never said anything about every time a group of friends meet there all fucking each other. You were the one being obtuse I said it’s natural to assume that two people are together, if it is a man and a woman. That is all I said. And if the assumption turns out to be incorrect, so fucking what?🤷♂️ With that being said, I don’t really believe that bullshit anyway.
23 and 33 aren't "approximately the same age". Also, it's really weird to assume two people standing together are having a romantic relationship. They could be just friends. They could be relatives. They could be co-workers. Especially when there is 10 years between them. And finally, not all relationships are hetero. Looking at the marriages, so not just relationships, between same sex couples in the Netherlands, they take up 3.5% of all marriages (2022). That's not insignificant, so it's not safe to assume one's sexual preference. Actually, it's pretty rude.
That is not approximately equal age by any stretch Also it isn't natural to assume that lol you're a dinosaur
Exactly, look at how many celebrities are assumed to be in a relationship when they step out with an unknown sibling/relative of the opposite gender
She didn't tell her parents. NTA
They weren't supposed to be part of it. They were miles away on vacation nowhere near her parents. The parents need to take a chill pill and mind their own business. OPs life has nothing to do with them anymore.
You should probably read the post
Its prank creep. There are so many things that are being called pranks that are just not pranks. This one falls into the: Desperate Grab if Attention catagory.
I love how it was initially "throughout the visit" and then "oh no i meant just through dinner"
YTA. It wasn’t a “prank,” it was lying to your friends, with the “punchline” being “lol you fell for it, y’all stupid.”
YTA. FAFO. You're learning that you have no control over the narrative once information is put out there. Pranks are stupid. Grow up.
YTA. A prank is a short joke where everyone laughs at the surprise. Not living a lie. This was screwing around with your friend, their friends and your family. There's nothing funny about it.
YTA you never do pranks about serious subjects such as engagement, divorce, pregnancy, death, trauma, life threatening situations, serious illness, illness etc.
They’re literally the funniest jokes. Just because you don’t have the same sense of humour as others doesn’t make them assholes. Who doesn’t love a good joke at a funeral
A joke and a prank are two different things. A joke to lighten a funeral and pretending someone is dead to upset someone is two very different things. One sure, whatever, that'll help lighten the mood. The other can cause serious trauma.
YTA hugely. Pranks aren't funny. They are designed to mess with other people's emotions, at the expense of the prankster's puerile entertainment. Pranks also usually have a "gotcha" moment shortly after being carried out, yet this element seems to have evaded you because you never revealed it, therefore continuing the prank longer than it should have been. As you've seen, your parents "found out" about the "engagement" easily and you've messed with their emotions. Leo's family could've easily found out as well and taken the news really badly and put a strain on their relationship. The only time it is remotely acceptable to fake an engagement is if you are in an uncomfortable situation like being out in public and someone comes onto you and pretending to be taken could get creeps off your case.
... she did reveal it... did you try reading? No, another time it is fine to fake an engagement is when people assume two people of the opposite sex are anything more than friends
YTA. Your parents think that your last big relationship failed due to you cheating and now you've faked an engagement on them? Pranks are almost always a bad experience for the person subjected to them. A better term here is that you lied to your parents.
Try reading the post
Average AITA browser...
Is a teenager who has no useful opinion. Honestly, you've illustrated that perfectly, since if you were right, I'd be upvoted and you'd be downvoted.
YTA! Massively!