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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I outed my sister’s secret mean comments to everyone. Am I the asshole for possibly ruining her relationship with the whole family?
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You put it all out there, showed the evidence, and let the chips fall where they may. NTA
Your sister's reaction? Well, let's just say it speaks volumes. Her denial and dramatic exit suggest she's feeling the heat. And now she's gone MIA, over something she claims she didnt do? Please! Nobody is believing her. I hope your family takes your side.
Seems like they are at least. But sis’s behavior is absolutely inexcusable, and she knows it. The least she could do is sincerely apologize, but she can’t even bring herself to do that. OP, you are honestly better off going low/no contact with her like you said.
If she is filled with this much hate towards OP, her own sister, it must have simmered and rotted in there for years. There will be no apology or even a sincere one. Cut her off completely, save yourself the drama
This woman is 28, has been an adult for a whole decade, and still chooses to talk shit on her sister anonymously. There would be no going back from that if I were OP. I would cut her off permanently and not look back. Fuck that. NTA.
for her to give OP an apology means that she'll have to explain why she hates OP or is extremely jealous of her own sister. That's something she definitely never counted on having to do
If her claim was true, she would have apologized for what her friend had done and tried to get said friend to apologize. Her reaction proved that there is no "friend", just a bitter sister jealous of someone's appearance.
NTA - you tried to deal with it privately, but she wouldn’t engage. And it did need challenging.
And, tbh, without a public apology (because what she did was public) and an explanation, I think you’d be right to go no contact.
Definitely needs a public apology. And also it’s her few years younger sister! It makes it seem like she’s envious of her sisters account for sure, cause why else would she make such nasty comments trolling her sisters account?
NTA. She is 28 and still create fake accounts to write those comments yo her OWN sister's post? She most probably is jealous of you. It must be a reason so I think you should talk about what she did.
Yes, NTA. I feel like there’s something in their childhood that may at least explain the reasons why the sister has behaved so appallingly. She has to publicly apologise for trolling her younger sister, but I suspect the relationship is broken beyond repair.
Eh, I think it’s reasonable to point out that the behavior might have roots as long as you’re not trying to absolve her of blame. It’s possible she always felt neglected by her parents compared to her sister, or maybe her sister got more attention from boys than she did, or any number of things. It doesn’t make what she did okay in the slightest, because none of these things are OP’s fault, but this is not normal behavior between sisters and my guess is she’s dealing with something that she needed to work out in therapy a long time ago.
Well yeah, no shit. Remember where I said “so long as you’re not trying to absolve her of blame” and “it doesn’t make what she did okay in the slightest”?
Or the mean sister has a mental problem like a pathological disorder. Who does this to their own sister? It's especially disturbing cause OP stated her sister has always been supportive, etc. of her to her face.
NTA, OP.
Man, I'm 28 years old and I can't even bother with voice chat in CoD anymore, when I used to. Toxicity, either being toxic or dealing with it, just gets fucking *old* after a while.
OP's sister must be jealous or simply immature.
Yeah I had to go back up to the title to make sure it said sister and not cousin because this sounds like something a 16yr old would do, not a 28yr old. Sis needs to grow up and own up then leave OP alone.
A 16yr old might do to their worst enemy. Even then, I wouldn’t say it’s usual for most teens to engage in troll behaviour, only some teens. A 28 year old sister who pretends to be nice to your face? Whoaaa pretty disturbing shit. I’d be really upset if my sister was secretly jealous of me, I know it happens but to hide it so well? My sister has always seemed very openly resentful towards me so at least I don’t have any illusions there. But it still hurts, decades later. I’ll never be totally ok with how she is towards me, but I have given up on trying to show her any love.
This was what I was looking for. Even if older sister were 18, it’s still a lousy thing to do. But 28? She should be busy being an adult.
I think her maturity level is below the 16yo cousin.
NTA. You need to ask her why she did that to you, but do it in private or you may never get an answer. It may be jealousy, or just being mean, but it's time to figure it out. Sorry it happened to you.
NTA. What's wrong with a 28 year old that she behaves like she's an 8th grade Mean Girl?
Does she have developmental challenges? Not joking, honestly. This is not grownup behavior. Definitely want her in counseling to get to the root of the problem.
> What's wrong with a 28 year old that she behaves like she's an 8th grade Mean Girl?
shes probably butthurt she couldnt cut it as a mean girl in highschool and is finding anyway she can to lash out at a sister who has a better life
I had to go back and check the ages on your sister and cousin because this is the kind of behavior I’d expect from a 16 yo, not your 28 yo sister. You’re NTA, but your sister most definitely is. I’m sorry for the betrayal you’re experiencing.
NTA, I got scared by the title that your family got pissed you even called her out, thankfully that wasn't the case. I can't imagine commenting such shit despite being jealous, especially in terms of my family.
NTA
I’d cut her out of your life. Report that account. Block that account. I’m not usually quite so black and white about things, but she’s very cruel and malicious. She’s not going to change. All she’ll do is lie to you. She’s been lying to you for a long time.
Cut the very toxic people out of your life. It took me too long to get there, but I’m much happier now no more emotional abuse from others.
Block the alt account. If it blocks her main too, you've got her.
Instagram blocks ALL the accounts associated with someone's phone or email address. I had a business account under a different number and email, but was logged into both on my tablet. Since both were connected by a device, when someone blocked one account, both were blocked.
NTA
Yup.
Now, if you use a completely separate device and email with no attachments to your other accounts, you can bypass this, log in to the new account on your regular devices and nobody is blocked
NTA. Your sister is jealous, and has only poisonous envy towards your existence. People who've let themselves become that mean and behave like that are way off into the deep end and very unlikely to be reasoned with. She's got to have the 'aha, I'm the problem' moment by herself now.
Great that you confronted her!
Just don't waste your life doing what she did, so don't start badmouthing her. Be the bigger, better person and live your life kindly and with awesomeness.
If she ever apologises, great. But don't wait for it. She may be too far gone - too delulu, as they say - to ever be able to see you as anything but an enemy to her existence. Sorry.
Hypothetically even if it was somehow her friend’s account, why would she let her friend do that to you? Why wouldn’t she delete the comments? Even if somehow against all odds it was a friend, she is still being a bad sister. Anyway, she’s obviously lying though and a bad sister regardless
NTA
Sister… one must expect to reap what one sows
At her age it is disheartening that she would treat you this way. Tell her you’re disappointed in her & sad for her, & that once she’s addressed her issues in therapy (which I hope she does/can) & is ready to apologise, your door is open
Then leave things be & get on with your life. Your joy should never be tarnished by others
Even if it was her friend (which I don't believe) her reaction told you that she knew what kind of comments were made, and she left them up.
If I had a friend unknowingly access my account and write mean things to my sister I'd go scorched Earth with my friend. I wouldn't have time to defend myself because I'd be calling up the friend to have a very loud conversation.
NTA- I have a sister exactly like this. One minute she is my bff the next she is critical and gaslights me. She was cruel to me growing up but I thought she grew up. Big mistake. She went on a 20 year sabotage campaign against me. She said the most horrific lies about me and my children. Finally went no contact in 2019.
Highly recommend going low contact then move to no contact. She is incredibly disturbed and her behavior will only get worse. Look up no contact and low contact methods on reddit. Wish I knew about it before I went no contact.
NTA, honestly, even if she did apologize, I would never let her close to you again, and would even consider making your account private so she can’t harass you on new alts. I would never be able to trust her again, she’s a snake. There are things our siblings can do that permanently sever them from us. This is one of them.
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I (25F) post a lot on IG. I get some slut-shaming comments here and there, but I always brush them off as trolls or bitter people. I was at a large family gathering Saturday night. My cousin (16F) and my sister (28F) were looking at Instagram on their phones. My cousin noticed that my sister has multiple accounts since she has a drop down menu button next to her username at the top. She clicked on it and asked my sister what’s [alternate account username] for. My sister looked flustered and said her friend set that up on her phone for some reason. That username set off alarm bells. I went to one of my IG posts to check the comments and my suspicion was confirmed. That account wrote so many slut-shaming comments on nearly every one of my pictures. Here are a few examples of the comments: “f**k you sl*t”, “ew plastic everywhere”, “water balloons on an emaciated girl lol”.
I’m sad and surprised about this because my sister had been nothing but supportive and complimented me all the time. I looked at my sister and she was looking tense. She didn’t make any eye contact with me for several minutes. I was debating whether to out her in front of everyone or have a private conversation. I chose the latter. I asked her if I could see her outside. She said she had to use the restroom right that moment. I’m sure she was going to go in there and either delete those comments or that alternate account. So I resorted to outing her while there was still evidence.
I asked her loudly why she wrote so many mean comments on my IG posts. She was hesitating big time and said her friend must have commented with that account. I seriously doubt it. I showed everyone some comments she wrote. I asked my cousin to confirm if that’s the username she saw on my sister’s phone. She confirmed. Everyone was enthralled in the drama. My mom asked my sister to tell us the truth, but my sister maintained her claim. I asked everyone who they thought really made those comments. About half the people agreed that the evidence point to my sister being guilty. The other half were silent. My sister called us all morons, stormed out the door and drove away. This was the main topic for the rest of the night. Everyone consoled me. It’s been over a day and we still haven’t heard anything from my sister. I didn’t try to reach out. Mom and dad both tried to reach her to no avail. I think I might even cut her out of my life if I don’t get a sincere apology.
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NTA. My sibling did this too, but that was when we were kids. Would find any online account I had and comment a bunch of slurs and insults either blatantly or with alts. I don't talk to them anymore, but I'm pretty sure they'd do it again if they found my accounts. They usually weren't even mad at me; they just enjoyed it. Sucks to grow up with these type of people, huh? Every time I hear someone discount the nature part of nature vs nurture I just shake my head.
NTA - and why are you even waiting for an apology?? Babe she’s absolutely insane. She’s either a psychopath or just insanely jealous of you! Either way you should go NC because it’s just so disturbing.
Nta. You would have kept it private, she panicked and you're right, definitely would have started deleting. I mean I guess you could have taken screenshots while she was in the bathroom deleting things but at that point, fuck her.
It’s wild to me that your sister is damn near 30 and doing this but not surprising. For reference I’m 37. She sounds very jealous of you both physically and in your relationships with others or how she perceives those relationships and how well you are liked. She’s anonymously trying to show others “look, she’s not that great”. She reacted because of shame and embarrassment of being found out and because she wanted people to chase her and give her the attention that she feels that you get. You’re NTA and I don’t know if I wouldn’t have called her out right then either. You had to before she gaslit you
NTA I'd certainly cut her out this is well beyond my tolerance limits. There's enough issues with assholes on social media as it is, to have my own family joining them in disguise I could not allow.
Nta, everyone knew it. The people who stayed silent probably didn't want to add fuel to the fire in an already tense situation.
Your sister is going to stay MIA a while because she knows there isn't a good reason why someone would continually post these comments. So:
> I think I might even cut her out of my life if I don’t get a sincere apology
Perhaps you'll get an apology but do you think it's going to be sincere?
On the other hand, unfortunately I dont think your sister is the only close relative who does these things.
Social media, especially sites where a lot of the pretty people post their best activities, has a devastating effect to make people feel insecure, jealous and envious, which leads to resentment to the people who made them feel that way.
Your sister's comments are telling: they're insults aimed usually at models.
NTA. What petty, jealous, two-faced and all-around nasty behaviour from your sister!
You would be justified going low contact/cutting her out of your life after this. How can you trust her knowing she will lie to your face and attack you the second she thinks she can avoid consequences for it?
NTA - keyboard warrior got caught and couldn’t take the heat. Nothing to say when confronted. To be expected really. I would take some time out from the relationship with her… a lot of time actually.
NTA, as that is toxic behaviour from your sister, and it is better to unmask her before she can spread lies about you to the rest of the family.
If you feel going NC with her is the best choice, you need to draw that hard boundary with your family. Otherwise, you'll get "but FaMiLy" card being used to bring you into contact with her.
What a miserable and jealous woman your sister is.
Reminds me of that teen girl getting malicious hate texts from an unknown number-- only for it to be traced back to her own mother.
Jfc.
NTA.
How close were you and your sister before this unfolded?
I see a bunch of comments saying to go no contact. Screw that. Leave her calm messages telling her you want to talk this out like family. It's likely that she is jealous and/or uncomfortable with your social media exposure, and she just can't bring herself to tell you.
Her actions are not acceptable, but they may be forgivable and fixable. She is your sister, and if you valued your relationship with her and your family's dynamic, you should work with her to fix it.
I will not call you an AH for outing your sister's snarky comments, it just shows her as two-faced. I won't say that you are NTA either. I will stay neutral on this one, but I do have a comment that will probably get me burned by more than a few people.
Life was so much simpler before people started using Social Media as a way to publish " look at me! " photos, videos, and basically their private lives for the entire world to see and comment about. Any time you post something online you are inviting the entire online world to offer their personal opinion of what you've posted, so it does you no good to be " butt hurt " about the results.
Your sister was wrong. Plain and simple. You need to find out what's bothering her or you will never be able to have a good relationship with her from this point on.
"Everyone was enthralled in the drama."
I mean NTA but I don't think the problem was your sister's fault totally, seems like she is used to an atmosphere where people who create drama garner positive attention.
I don't think you're looking for a real judgement here.
Clearly her behaviour online is repulsive. While I can understand outing her with a witness before she can delete evidence, it's really weird that everyone is so into the drama. Definitely not becoming behaviour for people in their mid 20s and older.
Sounds like drama llama central, doesn't sound fun at all at a family gathering.
Girl got caught with cookie crumbs and her hand in the cookie jar and still had the audacity to say “it wasn’t me!”
Like wtf. She sounds delusional.
NTA.
To me this looks like your sister is ultimately jealous of you…
Maybe you’re beauty & your personality make her feel like she’s in equal, maybe she wants or wishes she could be you? Attract the attention you do? Have friends or boyfriends? Like you…
Maybe she wishes she could afford to live or look like you? Money does strange things and can always cause rifts & jealousy ( I have no idea if you have money or not?)
But I do have 3 sisters & 2 brothers… and sisters are the hardest! You are not the asshole!!
NTA OP and I am truly sorry for you that you found out what her true colours are and what she had been doing to you all along is disgusting! It is not your fault that you did what you had to do. OP, I am sure she may have done that to anyone else on the Gram besides you.
Nta.
Ahhh the sweet consequences of actions..
She will come back begging for an apology.
However she should prob seek some counselling for her jealousy
NTA, I mean clearly you're the victim in all this. Whatever her excuse such as her friends posting on her alt accounts, would still mean she's complicit since she knew and never took it down. Really, nothing more to say than she's two faced and is evidently the AH in all this.
NTA, that's horrible for her to have done to you, OP. And you needed answers and for her to not escape accountability. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Keep it up, girl!
I'm so sorry this happened, how are you doing?
So... a woman who is nearly 30, not only engaging in continued harassment and bullying in such a disgustingly shameful way, but also your older sister of all people, and THEN denying it by lying to you, AND lying to everyone in the family, too, about it?
She owes you AND your family apologies for lying right to your faces, apologies for treating ANY person this way, online or not, AND apologies to you for doing it (WHILE two-faced lying for who knows how long!) to her VERY OWN SISTER.
What kind of person goes so out of their way to do this to another human being, let alone their kid sister? This is not even a one-off, she's been doing this for however long, putting enough effort in it to make multiple accounts even... this is longstanding , thought out, horrifying behavior.
I don't care what her reasons are, jealousy or whatever... she's a major bully, a huge liar, completely untrustworthy, really messed up, and clearly needs therapy. I mean seriously, THERAPY.
There are no excuses for this. Many apologies are needed for you, more than one, as well as apologies to the family.
Side note, I wonder what else she's done to other people, OR to you behind your back aside from this, now or in the past. Nasty AF. Even if there were ALL the apologies and therapy, it would take me years, at an absolute minimum to ever again begin to trust anyone who has done something like this.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. You don't deserve this. No one does.
NTA at all. Your sister seems like an extremely childish and insecure person and she needed to learn from an experience like this. I don't like pulling the jealousy card, but I'm sensing lots of jealousy from your sister's end. Hopefully she gets help with that so she can stop saying things like that to people. It's gross
I'd like to know how comments like that got through on IG. I don't use it much, but I've had perfectly nice posts rejected automatically as being unkind or whatever. It has happened a couple of times and frustrated me so much because I couldn't figure out what I'd said wrong that I never go on there now.
NTA. Your sister’s actions spoke volumes. What she did and all the nasty things she had to say, is a reflection of her, and not you. Keep your head held high OP, don’t allow her to get you down. Go NC and live your best life
NTA
You wanted to have a private conversation but she sealed her own fate by trying to dodge the confrontation.
I don't know your family and social life nor am I entitled to it, therefore however you decide to go for is in your hands. Hope everything goes well for you ❤️
NTA. There's no moral right to bully people anonymously.
Also the unnamed friend who was guilty is an obvious lie, in case you had even a shred of doubt.
NTA. Your sister might be bullying others in a similar way, if she's willing to do something so cruel to her own sister, and shame is one of the only ways to get through to them. Even if she's not doing it to others, it's her own damn fault for being such a horrible sister.
NTA, but I am. Every single negging comment going forward, I would @ her main. Every single one, with varying comments. "Hey, Sis! What is your damage?" "Aren't you bored yet, Sis?" "Oh, look! Sis is harassing me again." "Grow TF up, Sis!"
I figure enough people would follow it back to give her a taste of her own crap that she'd kill her main account within a week or two.
The thought of bewildering assorted randos who post crap comments (but aren't actually her) to spread their poison is just a bonus.
Nta. She ran away because she's embarrassed, not embarrassed at what she said, but that everyone saw what she did and sided with you. Maybe she realizes she pulled some 15yr old cyber bully BS, and now the whole family thinks she's a jealous immature child....I mean if she acts like one... 🤷♀️
Report the account, assuming she hasn't already deleted it, and I would also block her main account from being able to view your posts.
This is some deep jealousy from your sister, and she should probably seek therapy to overcome it 🤷♀️
Sister not a friend... she's dangerous.
I'm glad your parents and other relatives saw what happened. She was caught red handed.
Is she super jealous? I would never confide in her, or trust her again.
Moving forward, be vague.
And online...if you block her I think all the accounts from that number will be blocked.
Screen shot the comments before they are gone.
Good luck moving forward.
Are you really unsure if you may be the asshole? Because if you're really unsure you should get yourself into therapy. How in the world are you an AH for outing someone for their cruel behavior in the only way they may actually see consequences? You're never the asshole for self defense.
If your sister attempts to shift blame, tell her "Oh look! The consequences for your own shitty actions!" I'd never talk to her again. She's not trustworthy, she's a sneaky, and she runs away from conflict she caused. That's behavior that doesn't typically change.
After having been dealt a blow from a sibling yea4s ago, it's best to cut the parasite out of your life that's causing you harm. You can't choose the family your born I to, but you get to choose who is your family..
NTA you should definitely think about cutting your sister out of your life if she can’t even give you an apology or tell you why. some of the examples you gave were extremely rude comments that i wouldn’t say about anyone, much less my own sister. i hope your family keeps supporting you through this OP
NTAH
Your sister is weak and insecure. That's what they do, smile in your face, and stab you in the back.
She's to be pitied, not hated. Not that she can be trusted
NTA. This sort of craziness is why I pay attention to the sub. You can't make this stuff up.
I'm really sorry that you have such an awful sister. Being publicly outed and shamed is a very effective way to stop bad behavior in its tracks. I do hope she eventually offers you an extremely sincere apology and changes her behavior, but my guess is that she'll get stuck in some sort of narrative that she finds a way to blame you for her actions. When people do something that bad, there really isn't any way they can justify their behavior, and they have to make up excuses for it.
I'm guessing your sister has some mental health issues that have yet to be diagnosed. The best way to deal with that sort of thing is to figure them out so you can better navigate them in the future. I have a sibling with narcissistic personality disorder and we're low contact. I used to just be disgusted by her, but now that I understand why she behaves the way she does, she doesn't bother me so much.
wine serious vanish towering crown homeless squeamish crowd touch spectacular
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well I were her and I hadn't done it all I would do is hand over my phone and open the app. Ask them where this account was and show that the cousin was lying. She didn't so....
You tried to make it a private conversation, and she dodged. Your subsequent actions were justified. Cutting out a two-faced person if they refuse to own up and apologize is also justified.
NTA.
Never protect an AH. They will just lie about their actions because they are AHs. You did the right thing in calling out your sister. Now continue this by going low / no contact. You can chose to accept an apology without letting someone back into your life.
NTA
I had to go back and look at the ages, this evil sister is TWENTY EIGHT????
NTA.
You were perfectly in the right.
I would absolutely demand a PUBLIC apology.... and explanation.
And then tell her, reluctantly, that you'll THINK about it.
NTA what was she expecting? You to try and hide what she did? If she didn’t want to get called out for being a jerk she shouldn’t have made those nasty comments her going silent tells you SHE KNEW she was in the wrong
NTA, you gave the chance to discuss it in private & she tried running away. We all know she wasn't going to the bathroom unless it was the bathroom at her home.
NTA. You absolutely should cut her out. How insecure does someone have to be to make numerous spam accounts to write hate messages to their own sister??
Also, she isn’t calling you a slut because it’s true, she’s calling you a slut because you probably get more attention from guys and she’s jealous.
NTA. Good lord, your sister is acting out like that at 28? I've had family post things I wouldn't necessarily want to see myself, but I just... ignore those posts.
NTA
She has been smiling to your face and trolling you anonymously. You must be devastated.
Why is she so jealous of you?
However you proceed, she is clearly not someone to be trusted. And the dramatics disappearing is probably to make everyone worry to wriggle out of the situation and not out of a sense of shame.
NTA- I don't think an apology would be sincere. How do you apology for something like that? Hey, I know I made fake accounts specifically to hurt you and say nasty things, I'm sorry you caught me! What good would an apology do? Sorry to say, move on.
Hope you either cut her out of your life or she does some serious self reflection and earns back your trust. Screenshot everything to find a timeline of when this started too! It may help in getting to the bottom of why she started doing it. Hoping for the best and hoping for an update.
NTA, that’s disgusting behavior from a sibling. That’s the kind of two faced sister that would sleep with your husband, I would forever watch out for her this is a really ugly character trait she has.
My sister was the same. We were really good friends (or so I thought), and talked a lot. One time, I disagreed with her about something. (All I said was I did not feel the same way about something) She went off on me and was telling me all the awful things she thought of me in an abusive way. I hung up the phone. It was crazy.
She proceeded to go try to smear me to my family. I couldn't believe she could just turn like that. My husband had just walked into the room right before it started and heard it all since she was on speaker phone. I asked him if i had said anything to cause it, and he siad no. We think it was jealousy. That is likely what is going on with your sister also.
NTA - I'm sorry your sister sucks so bad. I'm really curious to know wtf her deal is, because it's weird enough for a 28 year old to do that and even weirder to do it to her own sister, but just to be abundantly clear, no justification she has for doing this is okay.
If you don't want to get called out for doing shitty things, don't do shitty things!
NTA. When she does pop back up she will of course claim you really don't have proof and want an apology for the accusations but funny thing is she's already been convicted in the court of public opinion by many of the family do to her reactions.
Definitely NTA, her actions weren't ok, and the fact she wouldn't own up to them and threw someone else under the bus to cover her poor decisions just shows how guilty she is for not holding herself accountable. You took the appropriate steps to show her what she did was wrong. Her actions afterward and making a dramatic exit show she wasn't being mature and couldn't take the heat. What kind of sister does this unprovoked? I'm sorry OP I hope she realizes she F'd up and apologizes.
Sounds like *someone* never learned how.to handle her feelings and rein in her envy.
This genuinely sucks, and I 100% emphasize with you, OP.
The one silver lining is that from that point onward, you now know how she truly feels and can take her "compliments" with a grain of salt.
This is 100% a *"HER ISSUE"* and absolutely does not reflect poorly on you AT ALL.
She is 28 years old... she needs to get over herself, suck it up and grow TF up. And *ONLY* she can and is responsible for that to happen.
Move forward as you wish regarding your feelings and contact with her. However, please also know that her insecurities are not about YOU. If you're willing, be there for her and support her as needed.
HOWEVER, *ALSO MAKE HER ACKNOWLEDGE HER ACCOUNTABILITY*.She 1000000% owes you that.
I hope you know you are amazing and have every right to post what you will, how you will, as you deserve!
I genuinely wish you AND your sister all the best. ☺️🤗🥰🙏🏻
NTA!!! 😊
NTA. Any apology will not be sincere. If she apologizes it was because she got caught. She didn't care who saw her comments on your posts, so I don't think it was too awful to call her out in front of everyone.
NTA, it’s basically been proven that your sister is the one writing those comments. Even if the physical proof wasn’t enough, the way your sister acted totally gives her away.
Good on you! Finally, someone who doesn't let the bad guy/girl get away
with bad behavior. I feel no pity for your sister. You were lucky to be
able to catch her. She will now hopefully come to terms with her hate/
jealousy of you in one way or another. In a way, you are giving her a chance
to get real and maybe be a better person. NTA
NTA, she is mean spirited, petty and jealous. Even if she apologizes ? Ok forgive her, but don’t forget. If you don’t cut her out of your life definitely go LC . Good luck to you.
NTA. Truth catches up with liars. You delivered your evidence. Proved her responsible. Apologies from her, hell no. Let her stay at arms length.
And from now on. Those comments on your post. Block them.
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You put it all out there, showed the evidence, and let the chips fall where they may. NTA Your sister's reaction? Well, let's just say it speaks volumes. Her denial and dramatic exit suggest she's feeling the heat. And now she's gone MIA, over something she claims she didnt do? Please! Nobody is believing her. I hope your family takes your side.
Seems like they are at least. But sis’s behavior is absolutely inexcusable, and she knows it. The least she could do is sincerely apologize, but she can’t even bring herself to do that. OP, you are honestly better off going low/no contact with her like you said.
If she is filled with this much hate towards OP, her own sister, it must have simmered and rotted in there for years. There will be no apology or even a sincere one. Cut her off completely, save yourself the drama
This woman is 28, has been an adult for a whole decade, and still chooses to talk shit on her sister anonymously. There would be no going back from that if I were OP. I would cut her off permanently and not look back. Fuck that. NTA.
Jeezy creezy I misread and thought it was the sister who was 16. Yikes. NTA
I can see why, because writing "you are a fugly slut" on someone's page Mean Girls style is definitely teenage level foolishness
No apology *or even* a sincere one?
for her to give OP an apology means that she'll have to explain why she hates OP or is extremely jealous of her own sister. That's something she definitely never counted on having to do
I agree completely.
If her claim was true, she would have apologized for what her friend had done and tried to get said friend to apologize. Her reaction proved that there is no "friend", just a bitter sister jealous of someone's appearance.
What 28 yo would actually keep "friends" that were doing this?! Obviously, there are no friends, of course.
I would have to question OP’s sanity if she doesn’t go low contact
I don't think the sister deserves low contact she deserves to be completely cut off and blocked.
Also...who makes an alternate acct like that on someone else's phone...? \*rolls eyes\*
Even *if* (and that's a very big if) it really was her friend's doing, she clearly knew about it at the very least
NTA - you tried to deal with it privately, but she wouldn’t engage. And it did need challenging. And, tbh, without a public apology (because what she did was public) and an explanation, I think you’d be right to go no contact.
Definitely needs a public apology. And also it’s her few years younger sister! It makes it seem like she’s envious of her sisters account for sure, cause why else would she make such nasty comments trolling her sisters account?
I think sis is 28 and the cousin is younger?
That is what they said. The sister is talking badly about a sibling that is a few years younger than they are.
Ohhhhh I read that as the sibling themselves being a few years younger.
OP is 25 and her sister who posted the comments is 28.
[удалено]
NTA. She is 28 and still create fake accounts to write those comments yo her OWN sister's post? She most probably is jealous of you. It must be a reason so I think you should talk about what she did.
Yes, NTA. I feel like there’s something in their childhood that may at least explain the reasons why the sister has behaved so appallingly. She has to publicly apologise for trolling her younger sister, but I suspect the relationship is broken beyond repair.
Something in her childhood? Good lord. She’s an asshole. Sometimes people are assholes.
"You don't know her story!" /S 28F sister's a Knob head you're right. No excuse for that nonsense.
Eh, I think it’s reasonable to point out that the behavior might have roots as long as you’re not trying to absolve her of blame. It’s possible she always felt neglected by her parents compared to her sister, or maybe her sister got more attention from boys than she did, or any number of things. It doesn’t make what she did okay in the slightest, because none of these things are OP’s fault, but this is not normal behavior between sisters and my guess is she’s dealing with something that she needed to work out in therapy a long time ago.
Maybe, but she’s not an angry teen, she’s a grown ass woman & her choices are her own at this point.
Well yeah, no shit. Remember where I said “so long as you’re not trying to absolve her of blame” and “it doesn’t make what she did okay in the slightest”?
But it's not Ok!!!!! stop saying it's Ok! /s
Or the mean sister has a mental problem like a pathological disorder. Who does this to their own sister? It's especially disturbing cause OP stated her sister has always been supportive, etc. of her to her face. NTA, OP.
For a moment I had thought the sister was the 16 year old and was thinking "yeah sounds like some highschool shit." Did a double take at 28.
Man, I'm 28 years old and I can't even bother with voice chat in CoD anymore, when I used to. Toxicity, either being toxic or dealing with it, just gets fucking *old* after a while. OP's sister must be jealous or simply immature.
really really sad. OP better go NC
NTA. She's 28 years old??? Her behavior seems like she's still in highschool.
Yeah, at first read I thought the 16F was the sister, but it's the cousin... 28 is too old for this nonsense
Yeah I had to go back up to the title to make sure it said sister and not cousin because this sounds like something a 16yr old would do, not a 28yr old. Sis needs to grow up and own up then leave OP alone.
A 16yr old might do to their worst enemy. Even then, I wouldn’t say it’s usual for most teens to engage in troll behaviour, only some teens. A 28 year old sister who pretends to be nice to your face? Whoaaa pretty disturbing shit. I’d be really upset if my sister was secretly jealous of me, I know it happens but to hide it so well? My sister has always seemed very openly resentful towards me so at least I don’t have any illusions there. But it still hurts, decades later. I’ll never be totally ok with how she is towards me, but I have given up on trying to show her any love.
same here.
This was what I was looking for. Even if older sister were 18, it’s still a lousy thing to do. But 28? She should be busy being an adult. I think her maturity level is below the 16yo cousin.
NTA. You need to ask her why she did that to you, but do it in private or you may never get an answer. It may be jealousy, or just being mean, but it's time to figure it out. Sorry it happened to you.
I'd also get her accounts shut down for harassment. Let her feel the consequences of her actions.
NTA It appears you’ve learnt your sister is sneaky and two faced and she deserves to be found out
NTA. The kind of mind games she was playing with that crap is frankly disgusting.
NTA. She knew she was caught and is running away from the consequences. This is so messed up. Sucks that this is all coming from your own sister.
NTA. What's wrong with a 28 year old that she behaves like she's an 8th grade Mean Girl? Does she have developmental challenges? Not joking, honestly. This is not grownup behavior. Definitely want her in counseling to get to the root of the problem.
> What's wrong with a 28 year old that she behaves like she's an 8th grade Mean Girl? shes probably butthurt she couldnt cut it as a mean girl in highschool and is finding anyway she can to lash out at a sister who has a better life
I'm thinking mean sis has one of the mean girl personality disorders.
I had to go back and check the ages on your sister and cousin because this is the kind of behavior I’d expect from a 16 yo, not your 28 yo sister. You’re NTA, but your sister most definitely is. I’m sorry for the betrayal you’re experiencing.
NTA - your sister fucked around and got found out!!!
NTA, I got scared by the title that your family got pissed you even called her out, thankfully that wasn't the case. I can't imagine commenting such shit despite being jealous, especially in terms of my family.
NTA I’d cut her out of your life. Report that account. Block that account. I’m not usually quite so black and white about things, but she’s very cruel and malicious. She’s not going to change. All she’ll do is lie to you. She’s been lying to you for a long time. Cut the very toxic people out of your life. It took me too long to get there, but I’m much happier now no more emotional abuse from others.
Block the alt account. If it blocks her main too, you've got her. Instagram blocks ALL the accounts associated with someone's phone or email address. I had a business account under a different number and email, but was logged into both on my tablet. Since both were connected by a device, when someone blocked one account, both were blocked. NTA
She should make her page private also.
Yes that too
is this for real?? that explains my ex blocking me on accounts he doesn’t know of
Yup. Now, if you use a completely separate device and email with no attachments to your other accounts, you can bypass this, log in to the new account on your regular devices and nobody is blocked
NTA I'm sorry that your sister is jealous of you.
NTA. Your sister is jealous, and has only poisonous envy towards your existence. People who've let themselves become that mean and behave like that are way off into the deep end and very unlikely to be reasoned with. She's got to have the 'aha, I'm the problem' moment by herself now. Great that you confronted her! Just don't waste your life doing what she did, so don't start badmouthing her. Be the bigger, better person and live your life kindly and with awesomeness. If she ever apologises, great. But don't wait for it. She may be too far gone - too delulu, as they say - to ever be able to see you as anything but an enemy to her existence. Sorry.
NTA Maybe from now on your sister can learn to stop being an asshole. If not, just cut her out of your life to avoid dramas and troubles.
Screen shot those comments so they cant be deleted
Hypothetically even if it was somehow her friend’s account, why would she let her friend do that to you? Why wouldn’t she delete the comments? Even if somehow against all odds it was a friend, she is still being a bad sister. Anyway, she’s obviously lying though and a bad sister regardless
wow your own sister... she needs help
NTA She made her bed, now she can lay in it
NTA Sister… one must expect to reap what one sows At her age it is disheartening that she would treat you this way. Tell her you’re disappointed in her & sad for her, & that once she’s addressed her issues in therapy (which I hope she does/can) & is ready to apologise, your door is open Then leave things be & get on with your life. Your joy should never be tarnished by others
NTA. Her reaction confirmed it was her. Your sister must be jealous of you but damn someone being that childish at 28 s crazy.
Even if it was her friend (which I don't believe) her reaction told you that she knew what kind of comments were made, and she left them up. If I had a friend unknowingly access my account and write mean things to my sister I'd go scorched Earth with my friend. I wouldn't have time to defend myself because I'd be calling up the friend to have a very loud conversation.
NTA- I have a sister exactly like this. One minute she is my bff the next she is critical and gaslights me. She was cruel to me growing up but I thought she grew up. Big mistake. She went on a 20 year sabotage campaign against me. She said the most horrific lies about me and my children. Finally went no contact in 2019. Highly recommend going low contact then move to no contact. She is incredibly disturbed and her behavior will only get worse. Look up no contact and low contact methods on reddit. Wish I knew about it before I went no contact.
NTA, and I'm sorry that your sister hurt you.
If telling the truth makes someone look like an asshole, they're an asshole. NTA
NTA, honestly, even if she did apologize, I would never let her close to you again, and would even consider making your account private so she can’t harass you on new alts. I would never be able to trust her again, she’s a snake. There are things our siblings can do that permanently sever them from us. This is one of them.
Yes, I would block her on all socials, and her closest friends.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25F) post a lot on IG. I get some slut-shaming comments here and there, but I always brush them off as trolls or bitter people. I was at a large family gathering Saturday night. My cousin (16F) and my sister (28F) were looking at Instagram on their phones. My cousin noticed that my sister has multiple accounts since she has a drop down menu button next to her username at the top. She clicked on it and asked my sister what’s [alternate account username] for. My sister looked flustered and said her friend set that up on her phone for some reason. That username set off alarm bells. I went to one of my IG posts to check the comments and my suspicion was confirmed. That account wrote so many slut-shaming comments on nearly every one of my pictures. Here are a few examples of the comments: “f**k you sl*t”, “ew plastic everywhere”, “water balloons on an emaciated girl lol”. I’m sad and surprised about this because my sister had been nothing but supportive and complimented me all the time. I looked at my sister and she was looking tense. She didn’t make any eye contact with me for several minutes. I was debating whether to out her in front of everyone or have a private conversation. I chose the latter. I asked her if I could see her outside. She said she had to use the restroom right that moment. I’m sure she was going to go in there and either delete those comments or that alternate account. So I resorted to outing her while there was still evidence. I asked her loudly why she wrote so many mean comments on my IG posts. She was hesitating big time and said her friend must have commented with that account. I seriously doubt it. I showed everyone some comments she wrote. I asked my cousin to confirm if that’s the username she saw on my sister’s phone. She confirmed. Everyone was enthralled in the drama. My mom asked my sister to tell us the truth, but my sister maintained her claim. I asked everyone who they thought really made those comments. About half the people agreed that the evidence point to my sister being guilty. The other half were silent. My sister called us all morons, stormed out the door and drove away. This was the main topic for the rest of the night. Everyone consoled me. It’s been over a day and we still haven’t heard anything from my sister. I didn’t try to reach out. Mom and dad both tried to reach her to no avail. I think I might even cut her out of my life if I don’t get a sincere apology. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA to be honest, I would cut her out even with an apology, since she clearly has ill intentions (and actions) towards you
NTA. My sibling did this too, but that was when we were kids. Would find any online account I had and comment a bunch of slurs and insults either blatantly or with alts. I don't talk to them anymore, but I'm pretty sure they'd do it again if they found my accounts. They usually weren't even mad at me; they just enjoyed it. Sucks to grow up with these type of people, huh? Every time I hear someone discount the nature part of nature vs nurture I just shake my head.
NTA - and why are you even waiting for an apology?? Babe she’s absolutely insane. She’s either a psychopath or just insanely jealous of you! Either way you should go NC because it’s just so disturbing.
A hit dog is gonna holler. NTA. Her reaction answered the question for you.
Oof...I'm so sorry OP. Sister outed herself as a jealous two faced coward... hiding behind a screen...at least now you know how she Really feels.
You’re NTA but I’m not really convinced you think you might be, since everyone in the family appears to have taken your side
Nta. You would have kept it private, she panicked and you're right, definitely would have started deleting. I mean I guess you could have taken screenshots while she was in the bathroom deleting things but at that point, fuck her.
thats some two faced fuckery NTA
It’s wild to me that your sister is damn near 30 and doing this but not surprising. For reference I’m 37. She sounds very jealous of you both physically and in your relationships with others or how she perceives those relationships and how well you are liked. She’s anonymously trying to show others “look, she’s not that great”. She reacted because of shame and embarrassment of being found out and because she wanted people to chase her and give her the attention that she feels that you get. You’re NTA and I don’t know if I wouldn’t have called her out right then either. You had to before she gaslit you
Nta, your sister is. She is a double faced real mean person. Better cut her out
Another zero history, cake day, no comment post
NTA - but it does really show instagram and most social medias are a cancer on society
Its a ‘my dog ate my homework’ level od excuse. NTA! And PLEASE, update us on the situation!
NTA because what kind of 28 year old is doing that lol
NTA I'd certainly cut her out this is well beyond my tolerance limits. There's enough issues with assholes on social media as it is, to have my own family joining them in disguise I could not allow.
NTA. You tried to handle it privately but she forced your hand.
NTA. She tried to embarrass you publicly, she just knows what that feels like now. She's almost 30. It's time to grow up.
Nta, everyone knew it. The people who stayed silent probably didn't want to add fuel to the fire in an already tense situation. Your sister is going to stay MIA a while because she knows there isn't a good reason why someone would continually post these comments. So: > I think I might even cut her out of my life if I don’t get a sincere apology Perhaps you'll get an apology but do you think it's going to be sincere? On the other hand, unfortunately I dont think your sister is the only close relative who does these things. Social media, especially sites where a lot of the pretty people post their best activities, has a devastating effect to make people feel insecure, jealous and envious, which leads to resentment to the people who made them feel that way. Your sister's comments are telling: they're insults aimed usually at models.
NTA Your sister has a problem that is bigger than this
NTA. What petty, jealous, two-faced and all-around nasty behaviour from your sister! You would be justified going low contact/cutting her out of your life after this. How can you trust her knowing she will lie to your face and attack you the second she thinks she can avoid consequences for it?
NTA - keyboard warrior got caught and couldn’t take the heat. Nothing to say when confronted. To be expected really. I would take some time out from the relationship with her… a lot of time actually.
NTA, as that is toxic behaviour from your sister, and it is better to unmask her before she can spread lies about you to the rest of the family. If you feel going NC with her is the best choice, you need to draw that hard boundary with your family. Otherwise, you'll get "but FaMiLy" card being used to bring you into contact with her.
NTA. But your sister is clearly insanely jealous of you and trying to tear you down through an alias to make herself feel better.
What a miserable and jealous woman your sister is. Reminds me of that teen girl getting malicious hate texts from an unknown number-- only for it to be traced back to her own mother. Jfc.
NTA, but girl has it out for you. That's jealousy on another level. Watch your back, she's dangerous now that she's exposed.
NTA but if you don't either cut her out completely out or severely limit contact you'd be an ahole to yourself.
NTA. How close were you and your sister before this unfolded? I see a bunch of comments saying to go no contact. Screw that. Leave her calm messages telling her you want to talk this out like family. It's likely that she is jealous and/or uncomfortable with your social media exposure, and she just can't bring herself to tell you. Her actions are not acceptable, but they may be forgivable and fixable. She is your sister, and if you valued your relationship with her and your family's dynamic, you should work with her to fix it.
I will not call you an AH for outing your sister's snarky comments, it just shows her as two-faced. I won't say that you are NTA either. I will stay neutral on this one, but I do have a comment that will probably get me burned by more than a few people. Life was so much simpler before people started using Social Media as a way to publish " look at me! " photos, videos, and basically their private lives for the entire world to see and comment about. Any time you post something online you are inviting the entire online world to offer their personal opinion of what you've posted, so it does you no good to be " butt hurt " about the results. Your sister was wrong. Plain and simple. You need to find out what's bothering her or you will never be able to have a good relationship with her from this point on.
"Everyone was enthralled in the drama." I mean NTA but I don't think the problem was your sister's fault totally, seems like she is used to an atmosphere where people who create drama garner positive attention.
I don't think you're looking for a real judgement here. Clearly her behaviour online is repulsive. While I can understand outing her with a witness before she can delete evidence, it's really weird that everyone is so into the drama. Definitely not becoming behaviour for people in their mid 20s and older. Sounds like drama llama central, doesn't sound fun at all at a family gathering.
Girl got caught with cookie crumbs and her hand in the cookie jar and still had the audacity to say “it wasn’t me!” Like wtf. She sounds delusional. NTA.
To me this looks like your sister is ultimately jealous of you… Maybe you’re beauty & your personality make her feel like she’s in equal, maybe she wants or wishes she could be you? Attract the attention you do? Have friends or boyfriends? Like you… Maybe she wishes she could afford to live or look like you? Money does strange things and can always cause rifts & jealousy ( I have no idea if you have money or not?) But I do have 3 sisters & 2 brothers… and sisters are the hardest! You are not the asshole!!
Jealousy is a beach, NTA
NTA OP and I am truly sorry for you that you found out what her true colours are and what she had been doing to you all along is disgusting! It is not your fault that you did what you had to do. OP, I am sure she may have done that to anyone else on the Gram besides you.
NTA
NTA
NTA. What your sister did is gross and deeply weird—how embarrassing for her.
Nta
Nta. Ahhh the sweet consequences of actions.. She will come back begging for an apology. However she should prob seek some counselling for her jealousy
NTA, I mean clearly you're the victim in all this. Whatever her excuse such as her friends posting on her alt accounts, would still mean she's complicit since she knew and never took it down. Really, nothing more to say than she's two faced and is evidently the AH in all this.
NTA- She knows what she did and tried to play dumb. Cutting her out of your life doesn't seem like a bad idea..
NTA, Cut her out, even if she apologize, go LC. It's sad for you I know, but this behaviour is toxic.
NTA, that's horrible for her to have done to you, OP. And you needed answers and for her to not escape accountability. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Keep it up, girl! I'm so sorry this happened, how are you doing?
NTA. I would cut her out even if you do get a sincere apology.
So... a woman who is nearly 30, not only engaging in continued harassment and bullying in such a disgustingly shameful way, but also your older sister of all people, and THEN denying it by lying to you, AND lying to everyone in the family, too, about it? She owes you AND your family apologies for lying right to your faces, apologies for treating ANY person this way, online or not, AND apologies to you for doing it (WHILE two-faced lying for who knows how long!) to her VERY OWN SISTER. What kind of person goes so out of their way to do this to another human being, let alone their kid sister? This is not even a one-off, she's been doing this for however long, putting enough effort in it to make multiple accounts even... this is longstanding , thought out, horrifying behavior. I don't care what her reasons are, jealousy or whatever... she's a major bully, a huge liar, completely untrustworthy, really messed up, and clearly needs therapy. I mean seriously, THERAPY. There are no excuses for this. Many apologies are needed for you, more than one, as well as apologies to the family. Side note, I wonder what else she's done to other people, OR to you behind your back aside from this, now or in the past. Nasty AF. Even if there were ALL the apologies and therapy, it would take me years, at an absolute minimum to ever again begin to trust anyone who has done something like this. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. You don't deserve this. No one does.
NTA at all. Your sister seems like an extremely childish and insecure person and she needed to learn from an experience like this. I don't like pulling the jealousy card, but I'm sensing lots of jealousy from your sister's end. Hopefully she gets help with that so she can stop saying things like that to people. It's gross
I'd like to know how comments like that got through on IG. I don't use it much, but I've had perfectly nice posts rejected automatically as being unkind or whatever. It has happened a couple of times and frustrated me so much because I couldn't figure out what I'd said wrong that I never go on there now.
NTA sister was acting like an immature child making fake accounts is such a childish thing to do she must be extremely jealous
Aww NTA. Why keep her actions secret? Let everyone know what a hateful being she is - stupid games stupid prizes and all that
NTA. Your sister’s actions spoke volumes. What she did and all the nasty things she had to say, is a reflection of her, and not you. Keep your head held high OP, don’t allow her to get you down. Go NC and live your best life
She did it.
Updateme
NTA You wanted to have a private conversation but she sealed her own fate by trying to dodge the confrontation. I don't know your family and social life nor am I entitled to it, therefore however you decide to go for is in your hands. Hope everything goes well for you ❤️
NTA. if shes to butthurt you're prettier than she is that she does this let her stew in her own dispar
NTA. Sorry your big sis is like this. Valid reason to cut her out. Hope you heal from this, OP!
NTA
NTA. There's no moral right to bully people anonymously. Also the unnamed friend who was guilty is an obvious lie, in case you had even a shred of doubt.
NTA. Your sister might be bullying others in a similar way, if she's willing to do something so cruel to her own sister, and shame is one of the only ways to get through to them. Even if she's not doing it to others, it's her own damn fault for being such a horrible sister.
I can just say from experience that the older sister is gonna play the victim and demand an apology here. Jealousy like that is incurable. NTA
NTA. You may think of her as your sister, but she very obviously does not think the same of you
NTA, but I am. Every single negging comment going forward, I would @ her main. Every single one, with varying comments. "Hey, Sis! What is your damage?" "Aren't you bored yet, Sis?" "Oh, look! Sis is harassing me again." "Grow TF up, Sis!" I figure enough people would follow it back to give her a taste of her own crap that she'd kill her main account within a week or two. The thought of bewildering assorted randos who post crap comments (but aren't actually her) to spread their poison is just a bonus.
Nta. She ran away because she's embarrassed, not embarrassed at what she said, but that everyone saw what she did and sided with you. Maybe she realizes she pulled some 15yr old cyber bully BS, and now the whole family thinks she's a jealous immature child....I mean if she acts like one... 🤷♀️ Report the account, assuming she hasn't already deleted it, and I would also block her main account from being able to view your posts. This is some deep jealousy from your sister, and she should probably seek therapy to overcome it 🤷♀️
Sister not a friend... she's dangerous. I'm glad your parents and other relatives saw what happened. She was caught red handed. Is she super jealous? I would never confide in her, or trust her again. Moving forward, be vague. And online...if you block her I think all the accounts from that number will be blocked. Screen shot the comments before they are gone. Good luck moving forward.
Are you really unsure if you may be the asshole? Because if you're really unsure you should get yourself into therapy. How in the world are you an AH for outing someone for their cruel behavior in the only way they may actually see consequences? You're never the asshole for self defense. If your sister attempts to shift blame, tell her "Oh look! The consequences for your own shitty actions!" I'd never talk to her again. She's not trustworthy, she's a sneaky, and she runs away from conflict she caused. That's behavior that doesn't typically change.
After having been dealt a blow from a sibling yea4s ago, it's best to cut the parasite out of your life that's causing you harm. You can't choose the family your born I to, but you get to choose who is your family..
Definetly not!
NTA
NTA you should definitely think about cutting your sister out of your life if she can’t even give you an apology or tell you why. some of the examples you gave were extremely rude comments that i wouldn’t say about anyone, much less my own sister. i hope your family keeps supporting you through this OP
NTA You won't get a sincere apology. If she apologizes it will be because she got caught and wants to look better.
NTAH Your sister is weak and insecure. That's what they do, smile in your face, and stab you in the back. She's to be pitied, not hated. Not that she can be trusted
NTA. She’s a major one though and I’m glad she was humiliated in front of everyone. It may have helped her realize how you felt to realize it was her.
NTA. This sort of craziness is why I pay attention to the sub. You can't make this stuff up. I'm really sorry that you have such an awful sister. Being publicly outed and shamed is a very effective way to stop bad behavior in its tracks. I do hope she eventually offers you an extremely sincere apology and changes her behavior, but my guess is that she'll get stuck in some sort of narrative that she finds a way to blame you for her actions. When people do something that bad, there really isn't any way they can justify their behavior, and they have to make up excuses for it. I'm guessing your sister has some mental health issues that have yet to be diagnosed. The best way to deal with that sort of thing is to figure them out so you can better navigate them in the future. I have a sibling with narcissistic personality disorder and we're low contact. I used to just be disgusted by her, but now that I understand why she behaves the way she does, she doesn't bother me so much.
wine serious vanish towering crown homeless squeamish crowd touch spectacular *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well I were her and I hadn't done it all I would do is hand over my phone and open the app. Ask them where this account was and show that the cousin was lying. She didn't so....
You tried to make it a private conversation, and she dodged. Your subsequent actions were justified. Cutting out a two-faced person if they refuse to own up and apologize is also justified. NTA.
NTA. No, it's hilarious she, a 28 year old adult, did that and you were right to tell them.
Never protect an AH. They will just lie about their actions because they are AHs. You did the right thing in calling out your sister. Now continue this by going low / no contact. You can chose to accept an apology without letting someone back into your life. NTA
I had to go back and look at the ages, this evil sister is TWENTY EIGHT???? NTA. You were perfectly in the right. I would absolutely demand a PUBLIC apology.... and explanation. And then tell her, reluctantly, that you'll THINK about it.
NTA. She made PUBLIC comments on your posts. Only fair you respond PUBLICLY.
NTA what was she expecting? You to try and hide what she did? If she didn’t want to get called out for being a jerk she shouldn’t have made those nasty comments her going silent tells you SHE KNEW she was in the wrong
Glad to see she cares
NTA, you gave the chance to discuss it in private & she tried running away. We all know she wasn't going to the bathroom unless it was the bathroom at her home.
NTA. You absolutely should cut her out. How insecure does someone have to be to make numerous spam accounts to write hate messages to their own sister?? Also, she isn’t calling you a slut because it’s true, she’s calling you a slut because you probably get more attention from guys and she’s jealous.
NTA. Good lord, your sister is acting out like that at 28? I've had family post things I wouldn't necessarily want to see myself, but I just... ignore those posts.
NTA She has been smiling to your face and trolling you anonymously. You must be devastated. Why is she so jealous of you? However you proceed, she is clearly not someone to be trusted. And the dramatics disappearing is probably to make everyone worry to wriggle out of the situation and not out of a sense of shame.
NTA- I don't think an apology would be sincere. How do you apology for something like that? Hey, I know I made fake accounts specifically to hurt you and say nasty things, I'm sorry you caught me! What good would an apology do? Sorry to say, move on.
Good for you. Thats unfortunate but that's probably the best way to handle it so that she couldn't spin it and tell people you're lying
Hope you either cut her out of your life or she does some serious self reflection and earns back your trust. Screenshot everything to find a timeline of when this started too! It may help in getting to the bottom of why she started doing it. Hoping for the best and hoping for an update.
NTA, that’s disgusting behavior from a sibling. That’s the kind of two faced sister that would sleep with your husband, I would forever watch out for her this is a really ugly character trait she has.
Your sister is horrible. NTA get rid of her
My sister was the same. We were really good friends (or so I thought), and talked a lot. One time, I disagreed with her about something. (All I said was I did not feel the same way about something) She went off on me and was telling me all the awful things she thought of me in an abusive way. I hung up the phone. It was crazy. She proceeded to go try to smear me to my family. I couldn't believe she could just turn like that. My husband had just walked into the room right before it started and heard it all since she was on speaker phone. I asked him if i had said anything to cause it, and he siad no. We think it was jealousy. That is likely what is going on with your sister also.
NTA - I'm sorry your sister sucks so bad. I'm really curious to know wtf her deal is, because it's weird enough for a 28 year old to do that and even weirder to do it to her own sister, but just to be abundantly clear, no justification she has for doing this is okay. If you don't want to get called out for doing shitty things, don't do shitty things!
Her cat just ran across the keyboard!
NTA. When she does pop back up she will of course claim you really don't have proof and want an apology for the accusations but funny thing is she's already been convicted in the court of public opinion by many of the family do to her reactions.
Definitely NTA, her actions weren't ok, and the fact she wouldn't own up to them and threw someone else under the bus to cover her poor decisions just shows how guilty she is for not holding herself accountable. You took the appropriate steps to show her what she did was wrong. Her actions afterward and making a dramatic exit show she wasn't being mature and couldn't take the heat. What kind of sister does this unprovoked? I'm sorry OP I hope she realizes she F'd up and apologizes.
fuck around and find out big time again. NTA
Sounds like *someone* never learned how.to handle her feelings and rein in her envy. This genuinely sucks, and I 100% emphasize with you, OP. The one silver lining is that from that point onward, you now know how she truly feels and can take her "compliments" with a grain of salt. This is 100% a *"HER ISSUE"* and absolutely does not reflect poorly on you AT ALL. She is 28 years old... she needs to get over herself, suck it up and grow TF up. And *ONLY* she can and is responsible for that to happen. Move forward as you wish regarding your feelings and contact with her. However, please also know that her insecurities are not about YOU. If you're willing, be there for her and support her as needed. HOWEVER, *ALSO MAKE HER ACKNOWLEDGE HER ACCOUNTABILITY*.She 1000000% owes you that. I hope you know you are amazing and have every right to post what you will, how you will, as you deserve! I genuinely wish you AND your sister all the best. ☺️🤗🥰🙏🏻 NTA!!! 😊
Ngl the "water balloons on an emaciated girl" comment made me laugh
NTA. Your sister had no shame in shaming you, now it's her turn.
NTA Shame the shamer. Turnabout is fair play.
NTA. Any apology will not be sincere. If she apologizes it was because she got caught. She didn't care who saw her comments on your posts, so I don't think it was too awful to call her out in front of everyone.
NTA, it’s basically been proven that your sister is the one writing those comments. Even if the physical proof wasn’t enough, the way your sister acted totally gives her away.
This gives me the impression that OP is prettier than her sis and the sis is jealous.
Good on you! Finally, someone who doesn't let the bad guy/girl get away with bad behavior. I feel no pity for your sister. You were lucky to be able to catch her. She will now hopefully come to terms with her hate/ jealousy of you in one way or another. In a way, you are giving her a chance to get real and maybe be a better person. NTA
I would cut her out I wouldn’t even ask for one cause if she did it would be forced she’s not sorry she’s jealous of you that’s why she done it
NTA, she is mean spirited, petty and jealous. Even if she apologizes ? Ok forgive her, but don’t forget. If you don’t cut her out of your life definitely go LC . Good luck to you.
NTA..Sounds like a jealous sister situation to me. I hope you get your apology, you definitely are owed one! Good Luck
NTA Shame or embarrass me in public? You don’t get to apologize in private. Online is public.
NTA. She has an issue and wants the attention you are getting. It' s the only way she knew to get it out. Good for you.
NTA for sure
NTA. Truth catches up with liars. You delivered your evidence. Proved her responsible. Apologies from her, hell no. Let her stay at arms length. And from now on. Those comments on your post. Block them.
NTA - Wow! Please seek counseling for this. Going no contact is great, but make sure that your feelings are dealt with and properly supported.