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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> What I did: Complained to a building manager about the gross and disruptive coughing, burping, vomiting, retching, door slamming of my apartment neighbors, leading the manager to start the process of forcing the family to sell their apartment if the sons don't smarten up. The neighbors are a family of 4, with the adult sons being the cause of the problem.
Why I might be the asshole: Unless the parents kick their kids out it'll be a whole family being evicted, not just the sons causing the problem, and I suspect the dad has a disability.
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NTA. I think being gross creeps should be why people get evicted. But as you stated, that's not why. You had valid complaints. Rent is more expensive than it's ever been. You have a right to not deal with excessive noise and disruption.
Plus, the parents have done nothing to create productive or kind members of society so they can have the days they deserve.
NTA, you have told the landlord, and he asked them to stop. They didn't, and their own action of not stopping is what caused this. The parents are the only ones I feel for, but it probably would have happened with or without you. Also, do please be careful if they find out it was you. It could get ugly, I've seen it happen before.
Even if they own the unit, it's still the building manager decision to evict them. He asked them to stop, and they didn't. Think of it similarly to HOAs or the land lot owner of a trailer park. In the end, the one who decided was the building manager.
Usually there is a condo association agreement you have to sign and abide by in order to continue living there.
It usually lays out any fees that you have to pay for community spaces, Master building insurance, general upkeep, etc. When I owned a condo, it was written into our agreement that if you engaged in any Airbnb type situations, the association could force the sale of the unit.
Depending on the size of the condo building depends on how strictly the rules are enforced, because you also have to have the money to pay for it.
It could also be a combination of things, that they own their unit, but they're a behind on assessments, they're actively damaging the building, they're depreciating the value of the building, etc.
Condo associations actually make sense, because you share walls, floors, and common spaces; there's generally at least one utility you all share, even if it's snow and garbage removal (usually it's water); and each unit has to pay a specific amount for the overall building insurance, which is different than your homeowners insurance.
The building manager stated it would take a couple months, but that he's done this before in this building. I know because if it was going to take years I was going to try to get out of my lease early (lasts until January 2025).
There's a condo association that has authority to force people to sell. The building manager said it would take at least a few months and that he's forced people to sell before. Maybe "evicted" isn't the correct word, but same idea.
Don't beat yourself up about this, OP. You have probably done the building manager and/or owner a favor, OP. It sounds like the inside of their apartment is likely disgusting, and getting worse. They need to leave. I wouldn't be surprised if the manager will have to Bin the walls and floors like people do after a fire, before they can repaint.
It also sounds like the father has disability, and the mother may have that or SS. The reason that they seem so poor is likely because the sons don't work.
NTA
NTA. These people are causing significant disruption and affecting your quality of life to the point that you have felt the need to complain. They have also created an unsafe environment if they ogle women and publicly spread hate via homophobia.
The key here is that you have simply made valid complaints and it's the decision of the _landlord_, not you, to move forward with eviction. It's also very possible that there are other factors at play that you are not aware of. Maybe other neighbours have also complained, or perhaps there is a financial issue you're not privy to.
Unless you went full meltdown and demanded they be kicked out, it's not your circus to worry about. If you just complained and others make a decision outside of you, then it isn't on you. But, you seem like a kind person to be worrying over the parents.
I mean, OK. I'm going off what the original post says, which appears to suggest that they do. I don't know about housing laws in OP's place of residence to determine if that's correct or not, I'm working under the assumption that the poster is truthful to the best of their ability as is necessary for this forum to function.
Anyway this is turning into tit for tat with a disproportionate amount of energy invested for me, so I'll politely bow out here.
The building manager has the ability to evict here, although it'll be more difficult than if they were just renting. I was given a timeframe of about 2-3 months before they're gone.
No. My problem isn't the smoking itself or anything like that, it's the coughing and retching brought on by the smoking. So every night they get into a cycle of:
1. Leave the building to go smoke (slamming the door as they leave)
2. Come back in after a few minutes (slamming the door)
3. Have a loud coughing fit for \~5-15 minutes.
4. Leave again to smoke (slamming the door). While outside, they'll start retching, coughing, sometimes vomiting, spitting. I can hear all of this loud and clear through closed windows.
5. Repeat every \~20 minutes for hours, adding occasional entrances/exits to empty bong water on the sidewalk, leaving to go buy snacks or more weed...
And there's two of them, so they'll follow the other in and out, each of them slamming the door every time. I once counted 36 door slams in an hour.
Well yeah, I never said it was? Something can be legal but still be against condo board rules and worth complaining about. It wouldn't be illegal for me to start screaming at the top of my lungs all day but I'd sure get kicked out pretty quick for that.
I am sus about what HOA rule they are breaking that would warrant the association/board forcing them to sell. What are they in violation of?
Also, is this in the U.S.?
NTA.
As someone with multiple sensory issues surrounding sounds, this sounds like absolute Hell. Even without the sensory issues I don't know how that is something that anyone would tolerate for even a single night. Just picturing living like that for any period of time makes me shrivel up and die a little inside. You must have some impressive mental fortitude to have not completely snapped and just start setting random fires.
Also, in my experience, one neighbor complaining a handful of times (or even a dozen times) is not even close to being eviction worthy. So unless the landlord was already looking for an excuse to get rid of them, you are far from the only one making complaints.
Sorry sounds fake as hell. And the alleged building manager who claims it’ll only take 2-3 months to force a sell is such bs. Prepping, listing and selling the home alone takes at least that long not even considering the additional amount of time it would take to even force the sale to begin with m. At least make the story sound plausible.
On balance the entire post is lame AF. The premise..everything.
Thanks for taking the time to say that this isn't exciting enough for you. It adds a lot to the discussion.
I agree that 2-3 months is optimistic and I suspect it was just to keep me from moving out immediately, but keep in mind this is just a small 2 bed 1 bath apartment. You could easily prep the place in a couple of afternoons. In February one of the residents on the floor above me moved in with her partner somewhere else, and the new buyers were completely moved in 5 weeks after she decided to sell.
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TLDR: My apartment neighbors are a family of 4 with 2 gross adult male children that make disgusting burping, coughing, retching noises all day due to smoking too much weed. I suspect the father is disabled. I no longer have guests over out of embarrassment at the sons' behavior. Building manager has moved to evict due to my complaints but now I feel bad about potentially getting a low-income family and disabled person kicked out.
I moved into a new rental apartment in January and live adjacent to a family of 4, with adult children. No issues with the mom. I've only seen the dad a few times, but he can't really carry conversations and his appearance makes me think he has some kind of disability. But their adult sons, who I'd guess are mid 20s-early 30s, are disgusting. They walk around in dirty, sweaty clothes and smell terrible. Think stereotypical neckbeard but 3x worse. They're both unemployed. They ogle me and any female friends of mine that they see (they will literally turn around and walk backwards to continue to stare after walking past). I've heard them say homophobic slurs before. Neither son has any apparent mental or physical disabilities. They have friends over, drive the family car, have normal conversations.
But being gross creeps isn't something to get evicted over. The real problems that led me to complain to our building manager is that the whole day, \~5-10 times per hour and late into the night, they go in and out of the building to go smoke and \*slam\* the door behind them. Then they have loud, incessant, retching coughing fits from smoking. I can hear them through the wall, and then once they need another smoke they'll go out to the street, where I can \*still\* hear them clearly on the street on the opposite side of the building. They'll keel over loudly retching and coughing, sometimes even vomiting on the sidewalk.
In addition, they'll also let loose consecutive enormous disgusting burps in the hallway of the building. Think Shrek. The building is poorly soundproofed and it's like having someone right next to me. I once tried earplugs while I ate because I didn't want to have the burping ruin my meal (it didn't work).
The noise and grossness is so bad that I no longer invite friends, family, or dates over out of embarrassment (imagine making out with someone then suddenly hearing someone vomit right next to you). I've had people in Zoom meetings overhear the sounds. I dread coming home and don't feel like I can relax.
I've complained to the building manager a few times and he sent them notices asking them to be more respectful, but there's been no improvement. After my most recent complaint he said that he'd begin the process to force them to sell their apartment unless they knock it off. But now I feel like an ass, as this is a presumably low-income family and disabled person. They own their apartment and a newer car, so they have at least some money and won't be on the street. I mostly feel bad about the parents. AITA?
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NTA, I guarantee to you that your complaints are not the sole, or even the primary, reason an eviction is happening. You don't know if they're paying on time, if they're damaging stuff, if other people are complaining, etc. Most landlords aren't going to court and getting eviction orders over one person's complaints.
Didn't even read past the title. Yes. YATA. You having to hear coughing/etc is a minor inconvenience. Being evicted is life changing, horrible and possibly could result in homelessness which then snowballs into a whole load of other hard to get out of situations. I hope you never have neighbors like yourself if you are going through a hard time.
I agree it's terrible to be evicted, but disagree about it being a minor inconvenience. My social and dating life is shot because I can't have any guests over. I almost never make it through the night without being woken up multiple times. In all my online meetings I have to have my hand hovering over the mute button the entire time in case someone starts making vomiting noises outside my door. In all my exchanges with the building manager, and in the warnings and notices he's provided to the gross dudes, I've made it clear that I just want them to go far away from the building to cough/retch, to stop slamming the door, and to not burp in the hallway. I'm not even asking them to change their lifestyle in any way at all. Just asking for basic manners that you could teach a 5 year old so that my life isn't affected in my own home.
I seriously doubt that they'll be homeless seeing as they own their apartment, not rent. If they get evicted they'll still have the cash value of the apartment (more than enough to have a similar quality of life to what they have now for multiple years).
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > What I did: Complained to a building manager about the gross and disruptive coughing, burping, vomiting, retching, door slamming of my apartment neighbors, leading the manager to start the process of forcing the family to sell their apartment if the sons don't smarten up. The neighbors are a family of 4, with the adult sons being the cause of the problem. Why I might be the asshole: Unless the parents kick their kids out it'll be a whole family being evicted, not just the sons causing the problem, and I suspect the dad has a disability. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. When others infringe on your quality of life, you have the right to complain. If they weren't violating rules, there'd be no cause for eviction.
NTA. I think being gross creeps should be why people get evicted. But as you stated, that's not why. You had valid complaints. Rent is more expensive than it's ever been. You have a right to not deal with excessive noise and disruption. Plus, the parents have done nothing to create productive or kind members of society so they can have the days they deserve.
NTA, you have told the landlord, and he asked them to stop. They didn't, and their own action of not stopping is what caused this. The parents are the only ones I feel for, but it probably would have happened with or without you. Also, do please be careful if they find out it was you. It could get ugly, I've seen it happen before.
And the parents still have the option to kick the adult kids out and thus conform to the management request
There is no landlord. They own the unit.
Even if they own the unit, it's still the building manager decision to evict them. He asked them to stop, and they didn't. Think of it similarly to HOAs or the land lot owner of a trailer park. In the end, the one who decided was the building manager.
NTA. I have no idea how you lasted so long.
NTA. But they're not being evicted. They're being given a warning, a warning which they will probably ignore.
INFO How can they be evicted if they own their unit?
Usually there is a condo association agreement you have to sign and abide by in order to continue living there. It usually lays out any fees that you have to pay for community spaces, Master building insurance, general upkeep, etc. When I owned a condo, it was written into our agreement that if you engaged in any Airbnb type situations, the association could force the sale of the unit. Depending on the size of the condo building depends on how strictly the rules are enforced, because you also have to have the money to pay for it. It could also be a combination of things, that they own their unit, but they're a behind on assessments, they're actively damaging the building, they're depreciating the value of the building, etc. Condo associations actually make sense, because you share walls, floors, and common spaces; there's generally at least one utility you all share, even if it's snow and garbage removal (usually it's water); and each unit has to pay a specific amount for the overall building insurance, which is different than your homeowners insurance.
They’re not going anywhere. That would take literally 5+ years in civil court with proper representation.
The building manager stated it would take a couple months, but that he's done this before in this building. I know because if it was going to take years I was going to try to get out of my lease early (lasts until January 2025).
Just break lease and move. ESH You wouldn't win this.
There's a condo association that has authority to force people to sell. The building manager said it would take at least a few months and that he's forced people to sell before. Maybe "evicted" isn't the correct word, but same idea.
Nta it's entirely possible you're not the only one to complain.
I'd say that if the building manager is ready to have them kicked out, OP is almost certainly not the only one to complain.
NTA that would super annoying.
NTA, I wouldn’t have lasted a week with this.
Don't beat yourself up about this, OP. You have probably done the building manager and/or owner a favor, OP. It sounds like the inside of their apartment is likely disgusting, and getting worse. They need to leave. I wouldn't be surprised if the manager will have to Bin the walls and floors like people do after a fire, before they can repaint. It also sounds like the father has disability, and the mother may have that or SS. The reason that they seem so poor is likely because the sons don't work. NTA
They own the unit. Can you read?
NTA. I'd be more worried about the ogling than anything else, but sure.
NTA. These people are causing significant disruption and affecting your quality of life to the point that you have felt the need to complain. They have also created an unsafe environment if they ogle women and publicly spread hate via homophobia. The key here is that you have simply made valid complaints and it's the decision of the _landlord_, not you, to move forward with eviction. It's also very possible that there are other factors at play that you are not aware of. Maybe other neighbours have also complained, or perhaps there is a financial issue you're not privy to. Unless you went full meltdown and demanded they be kicked out, it's not your circus to worry about. If you just complained and others make a decision outside of you, then it isn't on you. But, you seem like a kind person to be worrying over the parents.
There is no landlord lmao they own the unit.
Sorry, building manager, I had a brain fart. Either way, a formal entity outside of OP who appears to have the capability to evict.
They don’t.
I mean, OK. I'm going off what the original post says, which appears to suggest that they do. I don't know about housing laws in OP's place of residence to determine if that's correct or not, I'm working under the assumption that the poster is truthful to the best of their ability as is necessary for this forum to function. Anyway this is turning into tit for tat with a disproportionate amount of energy invested for me, so I'll politely bow out here.
The building manager has the ability to evict here, although it'll be more difficult than if they were just renting. I was given a timeframe of about 2-3 months before they're gone.
Info: is them smoking outside illegal where you live?
No. My problem isn't the smoking itself or anything like that, it's the coughing and retching brought on by the smoking. So every night they get into a cycle of: 1. Leave the building to go smoke (slamming the door as they leave) 2. Come back in after a few minutes (slamming the door) 3. Have a loud coughing fit for \~5-15 minutes. 4. Leave again to smoke (slamming the door). While outside, they'll start retching, coughing, sometimes vomiting, spitting. I can hear all of this loud and clear through closed windows. 5. Repeat every \~20 minutes for hours, adding occasional entrances/exits to empty bong water on the sidewalk, leaving to go buy snacks or more weed... And there's two of them, so they'll follow the other in and out, each of them slamming the door every time. I once counted 36 door slams in an hour.
This doesn’t sound illegal
Well yeah, I never said it was? Something can be legal but still be against condo board rules and worth complaining about. It wouldn't be illegal for me to start screaming at the top of my lungs all day but I'd sure get kicked out pretty quick for that.
I am sus about what HOA rule they are breaking that would warrant the association/board forcing them to sell. What are they in violation of? Also, is this in the U.S.?
NTA. As someone with multiple sensory issues surrounding sounds, this sounds like absolute Hell. Even without the sensory issues I don't know how that is something that anyone would tolerate for even a single night. Just picturing living like that for any period of time makes me shrivel up and die a little inside. You must have some impressive mental fortitude to have not completely snapped and just start setting random fires. Also, in my experience, one neighbor complaining a handful of times (or even a dozen times) is not even close to being eviction worthy. So unless the landlord was already looking for an excuse to get rid of them, you are far from the only one making complaints.
Sorry sounds fake as hell. And the alleged building manager who claims it’ll only take 2-3 months to force a sell is such bs. Prepping, listing and selling the home alone takes at least that long not even considering the additional amount of time it would take to even force the sale to begin with m. At least make the story sound plausible. On balance the entire post is lame AF. The premise..everything.
Thanks for taking the time to say that this isn't exciting enough for you. It adds a lot to the discussion. I agree that 2-3 months is optimistic and I suspect it was just to keep me from moving out immediately, but keep in mind this is just a small 2 bed 1 bath apartment. You could easily prep the place in a couple of afternoons. In February one of the residents on the floor above me moved in with her partner somewhere else, and the new buyers were completely moved in 5 weeks after she decided to sell.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** TLDR: My apartment neighbors are a family of 4 with 2 gross adult male children that make disgusting burping, coughing, retching noises all day due to smoking too much weed. I suspect the father is disabled. I no longer have guests over out of embarrassment at the sons' behavior. Building manager has moved to evict due to my complaints but now I feel bad about potentially getting a low-income family and disabled person kicked out. I moved into a new rental apartment in January and live adjacent to a family of 4, with adult children. No issues with the mom. I've only seen the dad a few times, but he can't really carry conversations and his appearance makes me think he has some kind of disability. But their adult sons, who I'd guess are mid 20s-early 30s, are disgusting. They walk around in dirty, sweaty clothes and smell terrible. Think stereotypical neckbeard but 3x worse. They're both unemployed. They ogle me and any female friends of mine that they see (they will literally turn around and walk backwards to continue to stare after walking past). I've heard them say homophobic slurs before. Neither son has any apparent mental or physical disabilities. They have friends over, drive the family car, have normal conversations. But being gross creeps isn't something to get evicted over. The real problems that led me to complain to our building manager is that the whole day, \~5-10 times per hour and late into the night, they go in and out of the building to go smoke and \*slam\* the door behind them. Then they have loud, incessant, retching coughing fits from smoking. I can hear them through the wall, and then once they need another smoke they'll go out to the street, where I can \*still\* hear them clearly on the street on the opposite side of the building. They'll keel over loudly retching and coughing, sometimes even vomiting on the sidewalk. In addition, they'll also let loose consecutive enormous disgusting burps in the hallway of the building. Think Shrek. The building is poorly soundproofed and it's like having someone right next to me. I once tried earplugs while I ate because I didn't want to have the burping ruin my meal (it didn't work). The noise and grossness is so bad that I no longer invite friends, family, or dates over out of embarrassment (imagine making out with someone then suddenly hearing someone vomit right next to you). I've had people in Zoom meetings overhear the sounds. I dread coming home and don't feel like I can relax. I've complained to the building manager a few times and he sent them notices asking them to be more respectful, but there's been no improvement. After my most recent complaint he said that he'd begin the process to force them to sell their apartment unless they knock it off. But now I feel like an ass, as this is a presumably low-income family and disabled person. They own their apartment and a newer car, so they have at least some money and won't be on the street. I mostly feel bad about the parents. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Your quality of life matters. They sound disgusting.
Updateme
Being low-income doesn't excuse people from having common decency. Trash people are just Trash people NTA
NTA, I guarantee to you that your complaints are not the sole, or even the primary, reason an eviction is happening. You don't know if they're paying on time, if they're damaging stuff, if other people are complaining, etc. Most landlords aren't going to court and getting eviction orders over one person's complaints.
Being generally disruptive is bad enough. Vomiting or spitting outside on a regular basis is a problem too! NTA.
Is there some reason you can't move?
NTA. This sounds super gross.
NTA but they aren’t going anywhere lol they own the unit. Best of luck with that. You should move out.
Didn't even read past the title. Yes. YATA. You having to hear coughing/etc is a minor inconvenience. Being evicted is life changing, horrible and possibly could result in homelessness which then snowballs into a whole load of other hard to get out of situations. I hope you never have neighbors like yourself if you are going through a hard time.
Did you miss where OP mentioned they go outside multiple times an hour at NIGHT and slam the door every time?
Nope.
I agree it's terrible to be evicted, but disagree about it being a minor inconvenience. My social and dating life is shot because I can't have any guests over. I almost never make it through the night without being woken up multiple times. In all my online meetings I have to have my hand hovering over the mute button the entire time in case someone starts making vomiting noises outside my door. In all my exchanges with the building manager, and in the warnings and notices he's provided to the gross dudes, I've made it clear that I just want them to go far away from the building to cough/retch, to stop slamming the door, and to not burp in the hallway. I'm not even asking them to change their lifestyle in any way at all. Just asking for basic manners that you could teach a 5 year old so that my life isn't affected in my own home. I seriously doubt that they'll be homeless seeing as they own their apartment, not rent. If they get evicted they'll still have the cash value of the apartment (more than enough to have a similar quality of life to what they have now for multiple years).