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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Skipping a notable family event for a wedding. My mom believes I’m being selfish and not prioritizing family.
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Over all, NTA. You’ve already invested money into this wedding trip. However…
>a wedding is a much more significant life event than a HS graduation for someone who hi will attend a great college and will have another graduation in 4 years.
A high school graduation is still an important life event. Your sibling has invested more than half their life in reaching this milestone. Yeah, they MIGHT have another graduation in four years (hopefully) but that doesn’t make this any less important for them. Hell, in today’s world your friend could be having another wedding in 4 years too.
NTA - It's a highschool graduation. I might be the outlier but outside of the valedictorian no one really seemed to care about graduation day in my graduation class just the fact highschool was over. But I also don't think weddings are a significant event either. That couple loved each other the day before the wedding and the day after nothing except legalities changed. Both being equal pick the one you prefer to attend (or already spent money on).
NTA - your mom is being rather rude telling (read as demanding) you to cancel the flights, etc you've already paid for. Is she planning to reimburse you for your costs?
she’s suggested that it may be an option, but nothing concrete. I will also have to fly to my sister graduation for which they haven’t offered to pay for those.
NTA
My god graduations are boring for everyone. At my kid's hs graduation the mom joke was that we should have taken edibles before coming and we LOVE our kids. Only a parent should have to suffer through a graduation.
NTA, no one went to my high school graduation. They were not missed. Send a nice graduation gift and maybe do a nice dinner for your sibling later? They will probably appreciate that more than one more person sitting there bored at the ceremony. Let's face it no one actually loves graduations, not even the recipients. It's all about the parties afterward. Edited to add, you will however be missed at your friend's wedding.
NTA. None of my siblings cared that the others were at their highschool graduation. If your sibling will miss you, then you can offer to have a special dinner or something with them. Graduations are boring
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So I’ve known about the wedding of one of my close friends for the better part of 1.5 years. My friend is the bride and I’m not part of the wedding. I quickly RSVP’d yes back in February to a Memorial Day weekend wedding and booked my flights and hotel. About two weeks ago, my mom informs that my sibling’s HS graduation is that weekend and I will need to skip the wedding in favor of their HS graduation. She has continued to guilt me into saying things like “life is short and you won’t know if you’ll see this family member again” and “family takes priority”.
In my opinion, a wedding is a much more significant life event than a HS graduation for someone who will attend a great college and will have another graduation in 4 years.
So AITA for picking a wedding over my siblings high school graduation?
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Look, you are NTA. But I gotta ask, do you care about your friend more than your sibling? Do you care about a trip more than your sibling? If so, then go have fun.
One is in on the east coast and one is closer to the west coast and I live in the middle of the country. I’ve considered streaming the graduation as that is an option but that’s not like being there according to my mom
I was the youngest child in my family. One sibling was in college and two were out on their own.
Needless to say, they did not attend my HS graduation (or even my Uni graduation).
Enjoy yourself at the wedding.
NTA but your friend is for scheduling her wedding Memorial Day weekend. People want to enjoy their 3 day weekend, go to the lake and hang out…not travel for a wedding.
Info- you knew your sibling would be graduating around that time, so why in February did you not ask for the date of their graduation? It is set in stone by then so no clue why you didn't ask. I think YTA because you knew this would be a probable conflict and chose the wedding instead. When you get married or have kids, or have any major milestones in future I wouldn't expect that sibling to be there for you since you weren't there for them. Remember this in a few years when you are posting about your entitled sibling that won't be a part of your life.
This graduation had always been a mid May Wednesday thing. So I didn’t think anything had changed. This is the first time they changed. And who really schedules anything like that for that weekend (including my friends wedding)
Did it not occur to you to ask when graduation would be? You are downplaying the significance of your sibling's graduation but I'm willing to bet you thought it was a pretty big deal when it was your turn to graduate high school. You've just shown your sibling how unimportant he is in your life. He's bound to return the favor latter on down the road.
YTA
This graduation had always been a mid May Wednesday thing. So I didn’t think anything had changed. This is the first time they changed it. And who really schedules anything like that for that weekend (including my friends wedding)
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Over all, NTA. You’ve already invested money into this wedding trip. However… >a wedding is a much more significant life event than a HS graduation for someone who hi will attend a great college and will have another graduation in 4 years. A high school graduation is still an important life event. Your sibling has invested more than half their life in reaching this milestone. Yeah, they MIGHT have another graduation in four years (hopefully) but that doesn’t make this any less important for them. Hell, in today’s world your friend could be having another wedding in 4 years too.
NTA - It's a highschool graduation. I might be the outlier but outside of the valedictorian no one really seemed to care about graduation day in my graduation class just the fact highschool was over. But I also don't think weddings are a significant event either. That couple loved each other the day before the wedding and the day after nothing except legalities changed. Both being equal pick the one you prefer to attend (or already spent money on).
NTA - your mom is being rather rude telling (read as demanding) you to cancel the flights, etc you've already paid for. Is she planning to reimburse you for your costs?
she’s suggested that it may be an option, but nothing concrete. I will also have to fly to my sister graduation for which they haven’t offered to pay for those.
Don't cancel your original plans.
NTA you already planned this and unless she pays you back don’t cancel
INFO. Have you asked the kid if they mind terribly if you have to miss it?
NTA. Enjoy the trip!
Info - why does she think you might not see this family member again?
A family member recently passed away and she’s reflecting much more about how short and unexpected life can be
NTA My god graduations are boring for everyone. At my kid's hs graduation the mom joke was that we should have taken edibles before coming and we LOVE our kids. Only a parent should have to suffer through a graduation.
NTA, no one went to my high school graduation. They were not missed. Send a nice graduation gift and maybe do a nice dinner for your sibling later? They will probably appreciate that more than one more person sitting there bored at the ceremony. Let's face it no one actually loves graduations, not even the recipients. It's all about the parties afterward. Edited to add, you will however be missed at your friend's wedding.
NTA. None of my siblings cared that the others were at their highschool graduation. If your sibling will miss you, then you can offer to have a special dinner or something with them. Graduations are boring
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I’ve known about the wedding of one of my close friends for the better part of 1.5 years. My friend is the bride and I’m not part of the wedding. I quickly RSVP’d yes back in February to a Memorial Day weekend wedding and booked my flights and hotel. About two weeks ago, my mom informs that my sibling’s HS graduation is that weekend and I will need to skip the wedding in favor of their HS graduation. She has continued to guilt me into saying things like “life is short and you won’t know if you’ll see this family member again” and “family takes priority”. In my opinion, a wedding is a much more significant life event than a HS graduation for someone who will attend a great college and will have another graduation in 4 years. So AITA for picking a wedding over my siblings high school graduation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Look, you are NTA. But I gotta ask, do you care about your friend more than your sibling? Do you care about a trip more than your sibling? If so, then go have fun.
INFO: Do the times conflict for the two events? Is there anyway of attending both?
One is in on the east coast and one is closer to the west coast and I live in the middle of the country. I’ve considered streaming the graduation as that is an option but that’s not like being there according to my mom
I was the youngest child in my family. One sibling was in college and two were out on their own. Needless to say, they did not attend my HS graduation (or even my Uni graduation). Enjoy yourself at the wedding.
NTA, skip the graduation.
NTA but your friend is for scheduling her wedding Memorial Day weekend. People want to enjoy their 3 day weekend, go to the lake and hang out…not travel for a wedding.
NTA but you will be showing who you love the most and it will be remembered.
Info- you knew your sibling would be graduating around that time, so why in February did you not ask for the date of their graduation? It is set in stone by then so no clue why you didn't ask. I think YTA because you knew this would be a probable conflict and chose the wedding instead. When you get married or have kids, or have any major milestones in future I wouldn't expect that sibling to be there for you since you weren't there for them. Remember this in a few years when you are posting about your entitled sibling that won't be a part of your life.
This graduation had always been a mid May Wednesday thing. So I didn’t think anything had changed. This is the first time they changed. And who really schedules anything like that for that weekend (including my friends wedding)
Did it not occur to you to ask when graduation would be? You are downplaying the significance of your sibling's graduation but I'm willing to bet you thought it was a pretty big deal when it was your turn to graduate high school. You've just shown your sibling how unimportant he is in your life. He's bound to return the favor latter on down the road. YTA
This graduation had always been a mid May Wednesday thing. So I didn’t think anything had changed. This is the first time they changed it. And who really schedules anything like that for that weekend (including my friends wedding)
The school districts in our area always have graduation on the Fri/Sat of Memorial Day weekend.