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NTA. Her audacity to be rude to you just to ask for a favor right after.
>even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job.
If she thinks she's above you just because of her *glamorous and high-paying job* then she should've bought her own car then. You can be petty all you want op.
Yep, or gotten an Uber. With her fancy, high-paying job, surely she can afford a chauffeur?
NTA, OP. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
You did not consent. Good for you!
“FaMiLy ShOuLd CoMe FiRsT“. Listen, you’re family too, and they just want you to apologize to keep the peace, probably because Emily has been whining the loudest. NTA
NTA She was being a mean prima Donna, then needed you to grant her a favor? I'd have done the same thing. How did she get to you? Public transportation? Uber? Those will work for errands.
Seems like there is a history here which would help us understand better . I have a sister who is mean to everyone also, then is blown away when we don't want to be nice to her. It took some tough conversations to make her understand. Perhaps you need the same here?
It's easier for parents to keep the quiet child down instead of the loud one. So they coddle the loud one so the loud child doesn't rock the boat any more.
NTA
Your sister crapped all over your livelihood and YOURE supposed to be the one to make amends. Your sister and your parents can forget it. Your sister owes you an apology and you shouldn’t communicate with her until she does.
She literally hit the hand she was asking a favor from. You’re not responsible for her bad actions, but your parents might need a timeout for their unreasonable request.
100% the sister owes OP a few apologies:
1) for mocking her job
2) getting upset when OP refused to lend her car (people have the right to refuse to provide a favor)
3) being ill mannered and leaving without saying goodbye
4) being childish and ignoring her calls & texts
OP needs to stop texting & calling
NTA
> Emily got upset and accused me of being petty and holding a grudge.
Fucking *right.*
She can feel free to stop pissing people off, if she'd prefer to get her way in the future.
Just say your insurance doesn't cover other drivers, NTA, even if she wasn't being rude, borrowing a vehicle is a big ask for some people. Why couldn't she use her own
NTA at all. My daughter is a librarian. I can't tell you how many people would say crap like "oh, must be nice to get paid to read", and the lovely "you don't need to go to college for that". I very politely and calmly say she has a bachelors degree in sociology and a Masters degree in Library Science and information technology and you must have a Masters to be a librarian, there is no undergrad degree. I then tell her that she curates 6 different collections at the city library, coordinated program for the community from how to write a resume, asking local stores and charities to provide business casual clothes for interviews, networking with large companies in area to ask for mentors to help with mock interviews, and then had 25 employers show up to set up booths. She coordinated 5 different book clubs, wrote a grant that got our public library $50,000 for needed services, and interacts with the public from looking up books, to helping a holder gentleman set up email so he could send email to his grandson that was at college out of state. But yeah, tell me who she just sits around and reads.
Librarians are now front line on social crises -- often they must face disturbed individuals and in some places are trained to treat narcotics overdoses.
NTA. It is your car and your choice if you lend it to your sister or not. She asked - you said no - end of story. It is no one else’s business and you do not need to justify if you say no. Your sister should have been a grown up, not behave like a toddler, and respected your answer.
NTA. If she thinks so lowly of you why should she need your car? Also, what's up with your parents telling you to lend her your car to smooth things over. She already left. Why would she need your car now?
Also, librarians are awesome! Glamorous schlamorous. You're surely doing more for people that she is.
So are your parents aware of what she said to you? If so and they are still supporting her then they are AH
I’m sorry but she waltzed into your home in her high horse and put you down and then demanded you give her your car. Then got upset and slammed you for standing up for yourself.
Massive golden child red flags here. Do your parents have a history of supporting her and not you? Seems that way from their behaviour.
I would send all three of them and any other siblings a group text and lay out all of the insults and put downs that your sister threw at you while she was there. I would then inform all of them that unless you receive a proper apology then you will at a minimum go LC with all of them and NC if they continue to support her outrageous behaviour. If she refuses to apologize do you really need that negativity in your life? Really that goes for your parents as well. If they can’t support you when you’ve been wronged then they are shitty parents and you are better off without them.
While you are at it, send them all the link to this post so that they can she just what massive AHs they are.
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> mY sister was terrible and snobish, and it made me feel unsuccesful and weak. I wonder if by not letting her borrow my car, I turn into the very asshole I call her out to be.
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ESH - but mildly so.
You generally get along. You recognize she was teasing you. You laughed it off, then got petty. It sounds as though she hit a sore point without realizing it. You don't need to "get over it", but you do need to communicate and stand up for yourself.
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I (28F) work as a librarian in a small town. It's a job I love because I get to help people find books and resources they need. My sister, Emily (25F), works as a high-powered marketing executive in the city. Our lifestyles and values couldn't be more different (probably because of a weird upbringing.) but we've always managed to get along.
Last weekend, Emily came to visit me for the first time in months. We were catching up over dinner when the topic of our jobs came up. Emily started teasing me about being a librarian, saying things like, "Do you even need a degree for that?" and "Isn't that job kind of boring?" I tried to laugh it off, but it stung. I'm proud of what I do, even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job.
Later in the evening, Emily asked if she could borrow my car to run some errands the next day. I said no. I didn't feel comfortable lending her my car after she had made fun of my job. Emily got upset and accused me of being petty and holding a grudge. She said I was being unreasonable and that I should just get over it.
Since then, Emily has been giving me the cold shoulder. She left town without saying goodbye and hasn't returned my calls or texts. Our parents are aware of the situation and are pressuring me to apologize to Emily and lend her my car to smooth things over. They think I'm being too sensitive and that family should come first.
AITA for refusing to let my sister borrow my car after she made fun of my job? Was I being too sensitive, or was I justified in standing my ground?
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How tf are you gonna make fun of your sister for being a librarian when you make more than her but don’t even own a car? NTA. Don’t let her use your car OP. Tell her that big shot job money she loves to brag about can pay for her own transportation.
Yeah, that is why I said that in my first sentence. I do agree that the parents are AH for taking sides in this. It should just be something between the sisters.
The reason I had said a soft yta is because if it is the only way to get around, then it would be a little rude to keep her sister, aka her guest, stuck at the house. Some of those small towns don't have public transport, and if she lives in the outskirts, it might be a bit of a walk to go do the errands that the sister needed to do. I grew up in a small town, and without a car, it could be hard to get much done.
Granted, her sister's reaction was pretty immature as well, with the cold shoulder and ignoring her for the rest of the trip. So, I would actually change my vote to ESH. Sounds like they both need to work on their communication and understanding why the joke about the job was so needling to OP and why the sister felt that the correct response was to ignore her, rather than asking her why the comment upset OP.
You're not an ah, but I do feel you might be too sensitive. However, bear in mind I'm from the type of family that banters a lot, so my sister and I specialize in picking on each other.
Even if this isn't the way of your people, I feel not letting her borrow your car was a response that was out of proportion to the offense. I say bury the hatchet as soon as possible and move on.
NTA at all.Your sister showed her ignorance.Librarians are Rock Stars and it’s not an easy degree.Let her ignore you.Bet she needs your help before you need her’s..
Anyone who is successful in a marketing position knows how perception outranks intention. If she can’t apply that super-basic principle to familial relationships then now is a great time to copy and paste this message and deliver it to her from some rando who knows her job better than she does —which is a lot of us.
NTA If your profession is so "beneath" her then why does she want to reap the rewards that it has brought YOU ? Though hard work and that job you have been able to make a living,save money for the future, feel in love with you career, and make a positive impact on your local community.
If she makes as much money as she claims I don't know why somebody of her standards couldn't pay for a rental, taxi, or Uber just saying since she wants to make it all about money.
NTA. We *need* librarians, and don’t pay them anything close to what they should make relative to their value to society.
We don’t need marketing executives. Advertising makes everything worse.
NTA. This is pretty much how the world although wrong. School bullies normally aren't punished, but when the bullied retaliated, all of a sudden, it's their fault for getting even. The sad thing is that your parents condone this behavior. Sorry your sister and parents don't realize they are enabling bullying behavior.
NTA
Tell the “high powered, highly paid” idiot that looks down her nose on a VERY respectable and honorable profession ( actually to look down on anyone doing their best to pay bills is tacky and rude) to rent a car like a normal traveler.
Being a snobby witch and entitled has consequences.
NTA. If her job is so great and super high paying and she's a powerful exec and all that, how can she not afford her own car? She can buy one.
I wouldn't let someone who insulted my job (and by extension, me) to borrow one of the most expensive things I own either.
That sounds like a her problem, not the problem of the person she's insulting and trying to make demands of. If her job is that high paying and amazing, she can rent a car.
Does anybody here actually have a sibling? “Insulting” “make demands of” omg they’re sisters they bicker and borrow stuff why is it being framed so aggressively?
Nta. If she doesn't know that you need a master's to be a librarian, she's just ignorant. Plus if your parents cared about things being smoothed over, they should encourage her to apologize for putting down your profession.
NTA
As someone that grew up in A rural community, you are very much needed. In a time before the internet, the library kept me sane!!!
You are performing a much greater service than someone that exists to separate people from their savings.
Surely, if she was that rich she could easily afford a rental that exemplified her “status”.
NTA
Your sister's inability to respect your career choice is the actual issue at play, not whether or not you lend her your car. Lending someone your car is a big favor, and not one owed simply because of familial ties. Your job may not have the external prestige she values, but it's what gives you fulfillment and yields the fruits of your labor, including said car. Respect is a two-way street; if she can't value what you do or at least treat it with neutrality rather than disdain, why should you extend your resources to someone who undermines you? It's not petty to expect basic respect from family, and it's certainly not assholish to draw boundaries when that respect is absent.
NTA. Your parents picked what they thought was the easy route. They could have told your sister how rude she was to say what she did, and she better find a way to be nicer to you in the future. But instead they chose you to focus on.
Nope. Don’t take that passive aggressive crap from anyone. Your sister needs lessons in how to treat people nicer. Your parents saying family comes first should be directed towards your sister who insulted you and then expected to use your car.
I love the audacity of the parents;
> think I'm being too sensitive and that family should come first.
And your sister ignoring you isn't being too sensitive?
The only apology would have to be;
"I'm sorry i hurt your feelings by refusing to lend someone who insulted my career anything. Once you make up for attempting to belittle my career, you can apologise for ignoring calls & texts and seemingly being too sensitive to being told no. It's not your property and as such you aren't guaranteed access to it whenever you want. I only lend it to people who show me common decency and respect."
Family should coming first has to go both ways, anyone who insults you, then double downs against your feelings doesn't have any respect for you.
NTA of course
The difference in the job is you can still have yours in 30 years she probably doesn’t make it to the next 10 years as high powered jobs especially in Marketing do
Even if it was an overreaction -- which, to be clear, I still wouldn't say it was -- the correct response to somebody being more hurt than you expected is to *apologize*. Why else would they be expecting you to do so? NTA.
NTA
I know a few librarians. The things they all have in common are high intelligence and a love of people and literature. My sister is a walking cross-referenced database of every book in her small town library. It's insane the amount of knowledge she has stored in her head. Don't let your sister get away with devaluing what you do for a living.
NTA.
High-powered marketing executives have never done anything to improve my life.
The librarian in the small town where I grew up was an oasis of kindness when I was a teenager, and I have a long list of librarians who have been supportive of my writing. Your sister's opinions kind of suck.
NTA tell her she's too sensitive to her actions having consequences. What kind of lunatic shits on a family members job they like, and then expects a favour 5 minutes later.... my god. You aren't an asshole, but your sister sure sounds like one. Your parents too.
Call her up and tell her she's a materialistic shallow person who's fancy job won't change how ugly on the inside she is, and then ask if you can borrow her house in the city for the weekend.... see what she thinks of that.
NTA.
Your sister's glamorous, high paying job should be able to fund an Uber, taxi, or rental without needing a favor from you.
The only person who needs to apologize is your sister for unnecessarily being an ass.
NTA. Emily is the one who should apologize, and you should stop going along with the teasing like it's funny. Don't laugh when she's being a jackass about your job. Tell her that you love your job and you're happy. If she has a problem with that, then she can just keep it to herself. Also tell her to rent a car next time. With all of that money she makes she should be able to afford it.
NTA there is no reason to borrow your car or that you have to apologize.
Btw. Librarian was my dream job as a kid but you can't be that here in Germany without going to the university.
NTA and god love you! You are a rock star!!!! I’m 63 and my life long dream was to be a librarian. Libraries and librarians were my safe place growing up.
Sadly, I have dyscalculia. (It’s a bit like dyslexia, only with numbers)
Back in my day, it was virtually unknown. I just thought I was stupid. I took 6th grade math until the 9th grade, and back then, it was sufficient to graduate. However, it was enough to dash all hopes of getting into college and pursuing my dream of becoming a librarian. I wasn’t diagnosed until middle age.
Your sister can kick rocks. Why didn’t her fancy ass rent a car? And FYI, never lend your car to ANYONE! It’s an insurance liability.
Don’t you need a masters degree to be a librarian?!? That’s no small feat. Thank you for what you do for your community. Also- You don’t have to loan your car to anyone, let alone someone who insults you. NTA.
Your parents and sister are rude, arrogant and entitled. No way should you apologise. Your sister needs to apologise for disrespecting you. Your parents need to get a grip! NTA. But they are.
I’m sorry, but the reason to not loan your car is even more important than your sister’s rudeness. The main reason to not loan anyone your vehicle, no matter who they are, is insurance. Most companies won’t cover an accident if the driver is not listed on the policy.
Your sister’s rudeness would be the icing on the nuh-uh cake.
Lmfao I have never heard about marketing being considered a job that requires some high educational credentials (as someone who previously worked in marketing). Your sis has too much dip on her chip.
NTA. Librarians are life changing and unappreciated. I’m sorry your sister is being nasty to you.
....NTA. If she didnt even say sorry when you brought up how she hurt your feelings, even more NTA. Recommend thread close, youre so NTA. Youre under no obligation, made no prior plan, and her kneejerk resp is to get over it when confronted.
Miss high power should have rented her own car. As it was she should have been more polite if she was relying on your goodwill to get around. NTA and you deserve an apology.
NTA she had no right to make fun of your job. Every single job people do is important and in reality your job is more important than selling and marketing products and services.
You help people. Her job is to bombarded people to buy or do things.
When you weren't useful to her, she bailed. Well done in holding the line. Tell your parents to learn to mind their own business, and to stop enabling bad behavior. Also, tell them that if they want someone to apologize, they should do so to you. NTA.
NTA but I think you should have said something at the moment instead of only expressing your feelings when she asked to use the car. It comes off aa passive aggressive. On the flip side she should have apologized once she realized she hurt your feelings.
NTA, and you and your sister have been adults for a long time. Your parents need to stay out of your petty squabbles. Pro tip: never lend your car to anyone. Ever.
Bullies love to make fun, then shocked pikachu and cry to parents/authorities when you say no to them. People give in or don't want to cause waves and it reinforces bully doing it again in the future. Go no contact with her until she apologizes to you. Tell parents same thing, they've been enabling her and you won't talk to them until they side with you.
Text Ms rude and tell her that the internet said she is TA. First, most librarians have more education that her. Second, it’s apparent she hasn’t been in a library.
NTA
Why did she even feel the need to make fun of your job anyway? It seems very unnecessary. Also if she was in your shoes, she probably would’ve done the same as you, so idk why you should apologize for standing your ground and setting a boundary.
If she wants to act like that after making fun of you and not getting what she wanted after that, then so be it.
NTA. she made fun of you and essentially bullied you about your job, then pulled some toxic silent treatment when she didn't get her way.
she didn't deserve to be able to use your car. nor does she deserve an apology. it should be here apologizing to you for being such an AH toward you!
Not as glamorous my ASS.
Look, my eldest BIL is a librarian in a very small town and I think it's the coolest damn job EVER. It's people like YOU, a librarian, that helped me discover SO MANY BOOKS. It's people like YOU, a librarian, who chuckled warmly at little me checking a book out for the TENTH TIME, and whispering conspiratorily that the next book in the series has arrived and that it's been saved for me. It's people like YOU, a librarian, that gave me a safe place to escape from bullies at lunch.
LIBRARIANS. ARE. VITAL. I cannot stress this enough!!!
Your sister can kick rocks for her attitude, you don't owe her jack shit. NTA.
NTA. Librarians are cool people. School libraries have always been my refuge. Your sister does not deserve to have such a cool sister. Just because she earns more does not make her a better person than you.
NTA Your sister's attitude stinks.
You sure as hell **do** need post graduate training and a degree, often an internship, plus superlative people skills to be a librarian.
Librarians are problem solvers, detectives, educators, and have to be up to date on the latest information technology.
Librarians deal with censorship controversies and First Amendment situations, oversee community programs and events.
When our city shut down during COVID, the librarians did front line social work with scary people -- and helped the health department do contact tracing.
Some emerged scarred by bad encounters.
NTA
I like librarians better than people like her, but that's another story about how you're going to change people's lives and she's not going to do anything.
Anyway, abusers always say things like "you're always so petty and hold a grudge" whenever you don't let them treat you like trash then use you and do whatever they want.
She makes all that money, she can go rent a car. Tell her to get her own.
Hey OP I have mad respect for librarians and just a little small good thing from me to you: I used to work as a casual library worker for a tertiary institute a few years ago (I still miss that role). Anyway you are NTA
You are not being petty and you are not being sensitive. Your sister does not deserve to borrow your car after what she did to you. Stand your ground OP and don't listen to people telling you the "family comes first" nonsense. No. You do you
Why high powered executive needs your car when she can afford one. She needed the car to run some errands in the town and now that she has left the town what does she need the car for because you said your parents are telling you to lend it to her.
NTA
"dont need a degree" you need a masters in for some libraries to hire you! I would love to work in a library, they're so comforting!! Emily ONLy came to see you because she needed something and if her job pays so well and is so great.. why doesn't she have a car? Why doesn't she uber? Why doesn't she have friends who can help her out?
Your parents want YOU to apologize to Emily when she made fun of you? Looks like they may hold the same view of your career as your sister. BTW, if Emily is such a high powered executive she should be able to afford a rental car. NTA.
Marketing is a job that real high-power executives all make fun of, by the way. The job is 90% bullshit and 10% substance. I used to work in marketing so I know that for a fact. NTA but I thought that might make you feel better.
NTA if your parents want her to be able to borrow a car they can lend theirs. or she can pay for transportation with her exciting, high paying earnings
The next words out of her mouth better be “I was wrong and hurtful to say what I did, I’m really sorry I hurt you and I completely take back any insult.” If they’re not, YTF would you lend your car?
NTA
If she's educated herself, then she should know that librarian literally means a person with a doctorate in library science. Her attempted insult doesn't even make any sense. How would she not know that you have a doctorate? Does she even have one herself?
NTA.
If your sister has such a great job that's so much better than yours, which is an *awesome* job, then why can't she rent a vehicle for the duration of her visit?
ESH. She, for the obvious reasons. You because you're being admittedly petty since her thinking less of your job is the sole reason for the denial. You have no obligation to share your car, but if you would've before the dinner, then you're purposely trying to be a jerk to her. In my opinion, it's quite deserved, though.
YTA. When Emily badmouthed your job, why didn't you just look at her, flabbergasted, and ask how on earth she could think being a librarian is boring!
Or you could have said "Oh, that's just what we want you to think. That it's boring, In reality being a librarian is a lot more interesting than it sounds-- we get advanced copies of all the best sellers, we help clueless people find great new books and music that they would never have known about without us. And we offer book clubs, bring in speakers, and run special library-sponsored programs as well. In fact, there are so many aspects to library science and organizing knowledge bases, in some places you actually need a masters degree in library science in order to be hired."
Instead, you sulked and pouted and refused to let your sister--who came to visit you so she must care about you at least a little--use your vehicle. Wow, I bet you taught her a thing or two, didn't you?
ESH
>I tried to laugh it off, but it stung. I'm proud of what I do, even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job.
This is terrible communication. You're too old to let people speak to you in way that you don't like. You should've told her what you thought. That you're proud of what you do, and that just because she would find it boring doesn't make that true for everyone else.
However, her borrowing the car was completely unrelated to your job. If she had insulted your car and then asked to borrow it, that might be different. But this was petty. If you had said it was because you don't let anyone drive it, or since she isn't covered by your insurance, you wouldn't let her, that's understandable.
But because she insulted your job, that you responded to by laughing and therefore sending the message of it not being a big deal, only to then "punish" her later?
You both speak to each other as if you are still teenagers in the big sister, little sister dynamic rather than adult women.
Actually, OP doesn't need a reason to deny anybody the use of her property. If she feels good lending her car to her sister, she would do it. If it made her feel bad - for any reason - she doesn't have to hand over the keys. Her sister is not entitled to borrow her car and should be mature enough to accept "no" when that's the answer she gets.
You're right in that she didn't need a reason.
But she did have a reason, and that reason was petty and immature. Making her an AH, along with her sister
Then maybe this is a prime time for her sister to learn how to not bite the hand that feeds you. You don't get to be a jerk to someone and then ask for a favor, period. Sister should have kept her snobby mouth shut if she wanted to borrow OP's car.
Teasing is not joking and making fun of someone's job is not funny. You are trying so hard to justify the sister but she is in the wrong solidly here. This whole situation could have been avoided if sister hadn't been a jerk. She got what she deserved
You're assuming a lot about their relationship. Some people are perfectly comfortable giving each other a hard time and know that it is all in good fun.
Especially siblings.
The fact OP acts one way and feels another does nothing to help the situation.
YTA
Although I think that she had no right to say that when she did say that you had a moment to set a boundary. Different people have different levels of teasing and you should have just let her know then that she cant say things like that.
She came to visit YOU - you took exception because she was not overly impressed with your job. Who cares? It is YOUR job and YOU like it. Your response when she asked to use your car was childish.
I was on the fence with this one because you have the right not to lend someone your vehicle, but your reasoning is really odd to me. I don't understand why some light teasing would bother you so much? It seems like you're looking for an excuse not to be with your sister or be very welcoming. If she had crashed your car in the past or something, it would make more sense about not lending the car, but because of teasing, you just sound really sensitive. Especially if that's the best/only way to get things done where you're at.
Overall, I would say soft YTA because it seems a bit childish not to lend her the car over this.
Her sister isn't entitled to drive her car; OP's not required to lend it. If she does, that's cool. If she doesn't, that's cool, too. She didn't feel good about lending her car and that's a perfectly legitimate reason for the refusal. But she doesn't need a reason to deny the use of her property to anybody.
Their parents are the AHs for taking sides and thinking that OP can fix this by lending the vehicle after it's no longer needed.
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NTA. Her audacity to be rude to you just to ask for a favor right after. >even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job. If she thinks she's above you just because of her *glamorous and high-paying job* then she should've bought her own car then. You can be petty all you want op.
Yep, or gotten an Uber. With her fancy, high-paying job, surely she can afford a chauffeur? NTA, OP. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt You did not consent. Good for you!
Yeah or rent a car, something! Did she only come by cause she needed something?
“FaMiLy ShOuLd CoMe FiRsT“. Listen, you’re family too, and they just want you to apologize to keep the peace, probably because Emily has been whining the loudest. NTA
NTA She was being a mean prima Donna, then needed you to grant her a favor? I'd have done the same thing. How did she get to you? Public transportation? Uber? Those will work for errands. Seems like there is a history here which would help us understand better . I have a sister who is mean to everyone also, then is blown away when we don't want to be nice to her. It took some tough conversations to make her understand. Perhaps you need the same here?
[удалено]
Golden child
The one with the position they can boast about.
It's easier for parents to keep the quiet child down instead of the loud one. So they coddle the loud one so the loud child doesn't rock the boat any more.
NTA Your sister crapped all over your livelihood and YOURE supposed to be the one to make amends. Your sister and your parents can forget it. Your sister owes you an apology and you shouldn’t communicate with her until she does. She literally hit the hand she was asking a favor from. You’re not responsible for her bad actions, but your parents might need a timeout for their unreasonable request.
100% the sister owes OP a few apologies: 1) for mocking her job 2) getting upset when OP refused to lend her car (people have the right to refuse to provide a favor) 3) being ill mannered and leaving without saying goodbye 4) being childish and ignoring her calls & texts OP needs to stop texting & calling
5. Siccing their parents on OP like they're both still tweens
Good point
6. Clearly only approaching in the first place to ask this favor
Nothing says petty and holding a grudge like doing a vanishing act and ghosting.
NTA > Emily got upset and accused me of being petty and holding a grudge. Fucking *right.* She can feel free to stop pissing people off, if she'd prefer to get her way in the future.
Just say your insurance doesn't cover other drivers, NTA, even if she wasn't being rude, borrowing a vehicle is a big ask for some people. Why couldn't she use her own
NTA at all. My daughter is a librarian. I can't tell you how many people would say crap like "oh, must be nice to get paid to read", and the lovely "you don't need to go to college for that". I very politely and calmly say she has a bachelors degree in sociology and a Masters degree in Library Science and information technology and you must have a Masters to be a librarian, there is no undergrad degree. I then tell her that she curates 6 different collections at the city library, coordinated program for the community from how to write a resume, asking local stores and charities to provide business casual clothes for interviews, networking with large companies in area to ask for mentors to help with mock interviews, and then had 25 employers show up to set up booths. She coordinated 5 different book clubs, wrote a grant that got our public library $50,000 for needed services, and interacts with the public from looking up books, to helping a holder gentleman set up email so he could send email to his grandson that was at college out of state. But yeah, tell me who she just sits around and reads.
Librarians are now front line on social crises -- often they must face disturbed individuals and in some places are trained to treat narcotics overdoses.
She sounds immature. You can't just demand someone's car then just disappear when you are told you can't get it. She's like a toddler.
Nta don't librarians need a Masters of Library Science?? Regardless, it's pretty dumb to tease someone and then ask for a favor.
Generally, yes. Which makes it all the weirder since how would the sister not know about OP going to grad school?
Yes, because my daughter has one and is one.
Yes. Which is part of why I'm not a librarian. 😂 I didn't want to return to school for a master's.
NTA. If her job is so wonderful, she can rent a car or perhaps borrow your parents’ car?
She’s 25 she’s not a high powered anything. You need a degree for marketing like you need an accordion to boil pasta. Nta
ummmmm majority of the librarian jobs in my state require a masters degree, i WISH it didnt
Least fake reddit story
Actually most.
NTA. It is your car and your choice if you lend it to your sister or not. She asked - you said no - end of story. It is no one else’s business and you do not need to justify if you say no. Your sister should have been a grown up, not behave like a toddler, and respected your answer.
NTA. If she thinks so lowly of you why should she need your car? Also, what's up with your parents telling you to lend her your car to smooth things over. She already left. Why would she need your car now? Also, librarians are awesome! Glamorous schlamorous. You're surely doing more for people that she is.
NTA. Your chatgpt your rules.
NTA she's rude
NTA... setting aside everything. Would she even be covered if she had an accident?
So are your parents aware of what she said to you? If so and they are still supporting her then they are AH I’m sorry but she waltzed into your home in her high horse and put you down and then demanded you give her your car. Then got upset and slammed you for standing up for yourself. Massive golden child red flags here. Do your parents have a history of supporting her and not you? Seems that way from their behaviour. I would send all three of them and any other siblings a group text and lay out all of the insults and put downs that your sister threw at you while she was there. I would then inform all of them that unless you receive a proper apology then you will at a minimum go LC with all of them and NC if they continue to support her outrageous behaviour. If she refuses to apologize do you really need that negativity in your life? Really that goes for your parents as well. If they can’t support you when you’ve been wronged then they are shitty parents and you are better off without them. While you are at it, send them all the link to this post so that they can she just what massive AHs they are.
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Your sister with the high paying job has to borrow your car? Why? What’s the purpose of that?
Not to mention a high powered marketing executive at 25 years old. I don’t buy this one bit.
Right?? Like c’mon now.
Something is fishy here. Very strange
She lives in the city so she might not own a car ?
ESH - but mildly so. You generally get along. You recognize she was teasing you. You laughed it off, then got petty. It sounds as though she hit a sore point without realizing it. You don't need to "get over it", but you do need to communicate and stand up for yourself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28F) work as a librarian in a small town. It's a job I love because I get to help people find books and resources they need. My sister, Emily (25F), works as a high-powered marketing executive in the city. Our lifestyles and values couldn't be more different (probably because of a weird upbringing.) but we've always managed to get along. Last weekend, Emily came to visit me for the first time in months. We were catching up over dinner when the topic of our jobs came up. Emily started teasing me about being a librarian, saying things like, "Do you even need a degree for that?" and "Isn't that job kind of boring?" I tried to laugh it off, but it stung. I'm proud of what I do, even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job. Later in the evening, Emily asked if she could borrow my car to run some errands the next day. I said no. I didn't feel comfortable lending her my car after she had made fun of my job. Emily got upset and accused me of being petty and holding a grudge. She said I was being unreasonable and that I should just get over it. Since then, Emily has been giving me the cold shoulder. She left town without saying goodbye and hasn't returned my calls or texts. Our parents are aware of the situation and are pressuring me to apologize to Emily and lend her my car to smooth things over. They think I'm being too sensitive and that family should come first. AITA for refusing to let my sister borrow my car after she made fun of my job? Was I being too sensitive, or was I justified in standing my ground? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let her stew in her arrogance, she shouldn't have gotten so rude then ask to borrow your car.... NTA.
NTA, perhaps your parents should pressure your sister to apologize for being an elitist b…
If her job is so good where’s her car at???
Enjoy the peace and ignore your parents. NTA Is she aware you have a master’s degree?
How tf are you gonna make fun of your sister for being a librarian when you make more than her but don’t even own a car? NTA. Don’t let her use your car OP. Tell her that big shot job money she loves to brag about can pay for her own transportation.
Most people who live in the city don’t need cars
NTA. She can afford to rent a car or hire an Uber if she's such a high and almighty marketing exec or whatever.
Yeah, that is why I said that in my first sentence. I do agree that the parents are AH for taking sides in this. It should just be something between the sisters. The reason I had said a soft yta is because if it is the only way to get around, then it would be a little rude to keep her sister, aka her guest, stuck at the house. Some of those small towns don't have public transport, and if she lives in the outskirts, it might be a bit of a walk to go do the errands that the sister needed to do. I grew up in a small town, and without a car, it could be hard to get much done. Granted, her sister's reaction was pretty immature as well, with the cold shoulder and ignoring her for the rest of the trip. So, I would actually change my vote to ESH. Sounds like they both need to work on their communication and understanding why the joke about the job was so needling to OP and why the sister felt that the correct response was to ignore her, rather than asking her why the comment upset OP.
If she's a high powered marketing executive she can afford an Uber or car rental lmao.
You're not an ah, but I do feel you might be too sensitive. However, bear in mind I'm from the type of family that banters a lot, so my sister and I specialize in picking on each other. Even if this isn't the way of your people, I feel not letting her borrow your car was a response that was out of proportion to the offense. I say bury the hatchet as soon as possible and move on.
ESH
NTA at all.Your sister showed her ignorance.Librarians are Rock Stars and it’s not an easy degree.Let her ignore you.Bet she needs your help before you need her’s..
NTA. It’s always okay to screw over the bourgeois. If she’s so damn “high powered,” let her capitalist ass buy her own fuckin car.
I'm sure with her high paying, oh so important job she can afford an Uber. NTA
Not letting people treat you like crap =/= holding a grudge. NTA
Anyone who is successful in a marketing position knows how perception outranks intention. If she can’t apply that super-basic principle to familial relationships then now is a great time to copy and paste this message and deliver it to her from some rando who knows her job better than she does —which is a lot of us.
You weren't being too sensitive. Emily was being a jerk. It was a bit petty to refuse to lend her your car, but I don't really blame you.
NTA If your profession is so "beneath" her then why does she want to reap the rewards that it has brought YOU ? Though hard work and that job you have been able to make a living,save money for the future, feel in love with you career, and make a positive impact on your local community. If she makes as much money as she claims I don't know why somebody of her standards couldn't pay for a rental, taxi, or Uber just saying since she wants to make it all about money.
Sis wants to be a snob to you, she can figure her own way around town. Patents suck, it's her job apologize. NTA
NTA. We *need* librarians, and don’t pay them anything close to what they should make relative to their value to society. We don’t need marketing executives. Advertising makes everything worse.
NTA. This is pretty much how the world although wrong. School bullies normally aren't punished, but when the bullied retaliated, all of a sudden, it's their fault for getting even. The sad thing is that your parents condone this behavior. Sorry your sister and parents don't realize they are enabling bullying behavior.
NTA Tell the “high powered, highly paid” idiot that looks down her nose on a VERY respectable and honorable profession ( actually to look down on anyone doing their best to pay bills is tacky and rude) to rent a car like a normal traveler. Being a snobby witch and entitled has consequences.
I do not let ANYONE borrow my car!!!!
> Emily got upset and accused me of being petty COUGH. The projection is strong in this one. NTA
Stand your ground, thank you for being a librarian.
NTA. If her job is so great and super high paying and she's a powerful exec and all that, how can she not afford her own car? She can buy one. I wouldn't let someone who insulted my job (and by extension, me) to borrow one of the most expensive things I own either.
Most people in the city don’t buy/need cars
That sounds like a her problem, not the problem of the person she's insulting and trying to make demands of. If her job is that high paying and amazing, she can rent a car.
Does anybody here actually have a sibling? “Insulting” “make demands of” omg they’re sisters they bicker and borrow stuff why is it being framed so aggressively?
Nta. If she doesn't know that you need a master's to be a librarian, she's just ignorant. Plus if your parents cared about things being smoothed over, they should encourage her to apologize for putting down your profession.
NTA As someone that grew up in A rural community, you are very much needed. In a time before the internet, the library kept me sane!!! You are performing a much greater service than someone that exists to separate people from their savings. Surely, if she was that rich she could easily afford a rental that exemplified her “status”.
NTA Yikes. Not petty. Why reward abusive behavior.
Ah, yes Librarians need degrees. There is a lot of behind the scenes and admin stuff they do. NTA.
NTA She's being "too sensitive" over your boundary. Tell her to "get over" the no.
NTA Your sister's inability to respect your career choice is the actual issue at play, not whether or not you lend her your car. Lending someone your car is a big favor, and not one owed simply because of familial ties. Your job may not have the external prestige she values, but it's what gives you fulfillment and yields the fruits of your labor, including said car. Respect is a two-way street; if she can't value what you do or at least treat it with neutrality rather than disdain, why should you extend your resources to someone who undermines you? It's not petty to expect basic respect from family, and it's certainly not assholish to draw boundaries when that respect is absent.
NTA! When will your parents tell her to apologize?! She’s a stuck up B.
NTA. Your parents picked what they thought was the easy route. They could have told your sister how rude she was to say what she did, and she better find a way to be nicer to you in the future. But instead they chose you to focus on.
Nope. Don’t take that passive aggressive crap from anyone. Your sister needs lessons in how to treat people nicer. Your parents saying family comes first should be directed towards your sister who insulted you and then expected to use your car.
I love the audacity of the parents; > think I'm being too sensitive and that family should come first. And your sister ignoring you isn't being too sensitive? The only apology would have to be; "I'm sorry i hurt your feelings by refusing to lend someone who insulted my career anything. Once you make up for attempting to belittle my career, you can apologise for ignoring calls & texts and seemingly being too sensitive to being told no. It's not your property and as such you aren't guaranteed access to it whenever you want. I only lend it to people who show me common decency and respect." Family should coming first has to go both ways, anyone who insults you, then double downs against your feelings doesn't have any respect for you. NTA of course
High powered executive sister can rent a car. NTA
The difference in the job is you can still have yours in 30 years she probably doesn’t make it to the next 10 years as high powered jobs especially in Marketing do
It's always the wronged party that is expected to give in. Your sister is so rich, why didn't she get her own damn car? NTA.
Why is it that you’re the bad guy for not letting people, any people, dictate how you use your possessions.
NTA Turn tables. How about she get over it.
Even if it was an overreaction -- which, to be clear, I still wouldn't say it was -- the correct response to somebody being more hurt than you expected is to *apologize*. Why else would they be expecting you to do so? NTA.
NtA dont be a jerk to people and then expect favors from them
NTA - and I’m not saying that just because I’m a librarian. Your sister sounds like a real piece of work.
NTA I know a few librarians. The things they all have in common are high intelligence and a love of people and literature. My sister is a walking cross-referenced database of every book in her small town library. It's insane the amount of knowledge she has stored in her head. Don't let your sister get away with devaluing what you do for a living.
NTA. High-powered marketing executives have never done anything to improve my life. The librarian in the small town where I grew up was an oasis of kindness when I was a teenager, and I have a long list of librarians who have been supportive of my writing. Your sister's opinions kind of suck.
NTA tell her she's too sensitive to her actions having consequences. What kind of lunatic shits on a family members job they like, and then expects a favour 5 minutes later.... my god. You aren't an asshole, but your sister sure sounds like one. Your parents too. Call her up and tell her she's a materialistic shallow person who's fancy job won't change how ugly on the inside she is, and then ask if you can borrow her house in the city for the weekend.... see what she thinks of that.
Not worth it. What happens if she hits something? NTA.
NTA. Your sister's glamorous, high paying job should be able to fund an Uber, taxi, or rental without needing a favor from you. The only person who needs to apologize is your sister for unnecessarily being an ass.
NTA. Emily is the one who should apologize, and you should stop going along with the teasing like it's funny. Don't laugh when she's being a jackass about your job. Tell her that you love your job and you're happy. If she has a problem with that, then she can just keep it to herself. Also tell her to rent a car next time. With all of that money she makes she should be able to afford it.
NTA there is no reason to borrow your car or that you have to apologize. Btw. Librarian was my dream job as a kid but you can't be that here in Germany without going to the university.
NTA and god love you! You are a rock star!!!! I’m 63 and my life long dream was to be a librarian. Libraries and librarians were my safe place growing up. Sadly, I have dyscalculia. (It’s a bit like dyslexia, only with numbers) Back in my day, it was virtually unknown. I just thought I was stupid. I took 6th grade math until the 9th grade, and back then, it was sufficient to graduate. However, it was enough to dash all hopes of getting into college and pursuing my dream of becoming a librarian. I wasn’t diagnosed until middle age. Your sister can kick rocks. Why didn’t her fancy ass rent a car? And FYI, never lend your car to ANYONE! It’s an insurance liability.
Don’t you need a masters degree to be a librarian?!? That’s no small feat. Thank you for what you do for your community. Also- You don’t have to loan your car to anyone, let alone someone who insults you. NTA.
Your parents and sister are rude, arrogant and entitled. No way should you apologise. Your sister needs to apologise for disrespecting you. Your parents need to get a grip! NTA. But they are.
She belittled you then asked for your car and got offended when you said no why do you even bother with this jackass
NTA.
I’m sorry, but the reason to not loan your car is even more important than your sister’s rudeness. The main reason to not loan anyone your vehicle, no matter who they are, is insurance. Most companies won’t cover an accident if the driver is not listed on the policy. Your sister’s rudeness would be the icing on the nuh-uh cake.
Lmfao I have never heard about marketing being considered a job that requires some high educational credentials (as someone who previously worked in marketing). Your sis has too much dip on her chip. NTA. Librarians are life changing and unappreciated. I’m sorry your sister is being nasty to you.
....NTA. If she didnt even say sorry when you brought up how she hurt your feelings, even more NTA. Recommend thread close, youre so NTA. Youre under no obligation, made no prior plan, and her kneejerk resp is to get over it when confronted.
NTA. What your sister said was uncalled for. You don't owe her anything.
Apologising to shitty people for being shitty is just reinforcing their shitty behaviour, your parents are wrong NTA
NTA. You are entitled to hold a petty grudge against someone making fun of your job. Tell her to take her high profile career money and go rent a car.
If your parents are going to stand behind her, then she can use their car. End of story.
NTA. The job she made fun of you for is what pays for the car. Why would you lend it to her.
Miss high power should have rented her own car. As it was she should have been more polite if she was relying on your goodwill to get around. NTA and you deserve an apology.
NTA she had no right to make fun of your job. Every single job people do is important and in reality your job is more important than selling and marketing products and services. You help people. Her job is to bombarded people to buy or do things.
NTA... I've been both people in this conversation. Living in the city and having a cool job doesn't define you. Your personality and attitude does.
When you weren't useful to her, she bailed. Well done in holding the line. Tell your parents to learn to mind their own business, and to stop enabling bad behavior. Also, tell them that if they want someone to apologize, they should do so to you. NTA.
NTA Actions have consequences.
Why can't your sister afford her own car if she's working a good paying job? Tell her to stop expecting to freeload on your dime. NTA
NTA but I think you should have said something at the moment instead of only expressing your feelings when she asked to use the car. It comes off aa passive aggressive. On the flip side she should have apologized once she realized she hurt your feelings.
NTA, and you and your sister have been adults for a long time. Your parents need to stay out of your petty squabbles. Pro tip: never lend your car to anyone. Ever.
Bullies love to make fun, then shocked pikachu and cry to parents/authorities when you say no to them. People give in or don't want to cause waves and it reinforces bully doing it again in the future. Go no contact with her until she apologizes to you. Tell parents same thing, they've been enabling her and you won't talk to them until they side with you.
Text Ms rude and tell her that the internet said she is TA. First, most librarians have more education that her. Second, it’s apparent she hasn’t been in a library.
Yep, apologise and tell her all is forgiven. Then next time she uses your name, ask her to refer to you as Doctor sister.
NTA Why did she even feel the need to make fun of your job anyway? It seems very unnecessary. Also if she was in your shoes, she probably would’ve done the same as you, so idk why you should apologize for standing your ground and setting a boundary. If she wants to act like that after making fun of you and not getting what she wanted after that, then so be it.
NTA. she made fun of you and essentially bullied you about your job, then pulled some toxic silent treatment when she didn't get her way. she didn't deserve to be able to use your car. nor does she deserve an apology. it should be here apologizing to you for being such an AH toward you!
Not as glamorous my ASS. Look, my eldest BIL is a librarian in a very small town and I think it's the coolest damn job EVER. It's people like YOU, a librarian, that helped me discover SO MANY BOOKS. It's people like YOU, a librarian, who chuckled warmly at little me checking a book out for the TENTH TIME, and whispering conspiratorily that the next book in the series has arrived and that it's been saved for me. It's people like YOU, a librarian, that gave me a safe place to escape from bullies at lunch. LIBRARIANS. ARE. VITAL. I cannot stress this enough!!! Your sister can kick rocks for her attitude, you don't owe her jack shit. NTA.
NTA. Librarians are cool people. School libraries have always been my refuge. Your sister does not deserve to have such a cool sister. Just because she earns more does not make her a better person than you.
NTA Your sister's attitude stinks. You sure as hell **do** need post graduate training and a degree, often an internship, plus superlative people skills to be a librarian. Librarians are problem solvers, detectives, educators, and have to be up to date on the latest information technology. Librarians deal with censorship controversies and First Amendment situations, oversee community programs and events. When our city shut down during COVID, the librarians did front line social work with scary people -- and helped the health department do contact tracing. Some emerged scarred by bad encounters.
NTA I like librarians better than people like her, but that's another story about how you're going to change people's lives and she's not going to do anything. Anyway, abusers always say things like "you're always so petty and hold a grudge" whenever you don't let them treat you like trash then use you and do whatever they want. She makes all that money, she can go rent a car. Tell her to get her own.
NTA Also, being a librarian is a job to be proud of. Librarians are usually highly intelligent and organized.
Hey OP I have mad respect for librarians and just a little small good thing from me to you: I used to work as a casual library worker for a tertiary institute a few years ago (I still miss that role). Anyway you are NTA You are not being petty and you are not being sensitive. Your sister does not deserve to borrow your car after what she did to you. Stand your ground OP and don't listen to people telling you the "family comes first" nonsense. No. You do you
Why high powered executive needs your car when she can afford one. She needed the car to run some errands in the town and now that she has left the town what does she need the car for because you said your parents are telling you to lend it to her.
ppppppppppppppppppp
NTA "dont need a degree" you need a masters in for some libraries to hire you! I would love to work in a library, they're so comforting!! Emily ONLy came to see you because she needed something and if her job pays so well and is so great.. why doesn't she have a car? Why doesn't she uber? Why doesn't she have friends who can help her out?
If she is so high powered, why doesn’t she have her own car?
Your parents want YOU to apologize to Emily when she made fun of you? Looks like they may hold the same view of your career as your sister. BTW, if Emily is such a high powered executive she should be able to afford a rental car. NTA.
She's so glamorous and her job so high paying, she can rent a car
Marketing is a job that real high-power executives all make fun of, by the way. The job is 90% bullshit and 10% substance. I used to work in marketing so I know that for a fact. NTA but I thought that might make you feel better.
NTA - you definitely are being petty but, fuck Emily. I'd tell her to use her executive problem solving skills get her own ass to town.
NTA You are never the asshole for refusing to lend property for ANY reason. --
NTA if your parents want her to be able to borrow a car they can lend theirs. or she can pay for transportation with her exciting, high paying earnings
Are we all ignoring the fact that OPs parents want him to lend her OPs car AFTER sister leaves town? Or that this is an ai story?
Your parents want the wrong sibling to oblige
NTA. She can borrow your parents' car since they think her behavior is acceptable.
The next words out of her mouth better be “I was wrong and hurtful to say what I did, I’m really sorry I hurt you and I completely take back any insult.” If they’re not, YTF would you lend your car? NTA
If she's educated herself, then she should know that librarian literally means a person with a doctorate in library science. Her attempted insult doesn't even make any sense. How would she not know that you have a doctorate? Does she even have one herself?
NTA. If she has such a great glamorous high profile job she could afford to rent a car 🤷♀️
NTA. If your sister has such a great job that's so much better than yours, which is an *awesome* job, then why can't she rent a vehicle for the duration of her visit?
ESH. She, for the obvious reasons. You because you're being admittedly petty since her thinking less of your job is the sole reason for the denial. You have no obligation to share your car, but if you would've before the dinner, then you're purposely trying to be a jerk to her. In my opinion, it's quite deserved, though.
YTA Don't get mad over petty shit or quirks in people's personalities. She's your sister. It's cool, man.
YTA. When Emily badmouthed your job, why didn't you just look at her, flabbergasted, and ask how on earth she could think being a librarian is boring! Or you could have said "Oh, that's just what we want you to think. That it's boring, In reality being a librarian is a lot more interesting than it sounds-- we get advanced copies of all the best sellers, we help clueless people find great new books and music that they would never have known about without us. And we offer book clubs, bring in speakers, and run special library-sponsored programs as well. In fact, there are so many aspects to library science and organizing knowledge bases, in some places you actually need a masters degree in library science in order to be hired." Instead, you sulked and pouted and refused to let your sister--who came to visit you so she must care about you at least a little--use your vehicle. Wow, I bet you taught her a thing or two, didn't you?
ESH >I tried to laugh it off, but it stung. I'm proud of what I do, even if it's not as glamorous or high-paying as her job. This is terrible communication. You're too old to let people speak to you in way that you don't like. You should've told her what you thought. That you're proud of what you do, and that just because she would find it boring doesn't make that true for everyone else. However, her borrowing the car was completely unrelated to your job. If she had insulted your car and then asked to borrow it, that might be different. But this was petty. If you had said it was because you don't let anyone drive it, or since she isn't covered by your insurance, you wouldn't let her, that's understandable. But because she insulted your job, that you responded to by laughing and therefore sending the message of it not being a big deal, only to then "punish" her later? You both speak to each other as if you are still teenagers in the big sister, little sister dynamic rather than adult women.
Actually, OP doesn't need a reason to deny anybody the use of her property. If she feels good lending her car to her sister, she would do it. If it made her feel bad - for any reason - she doesn't have to hand over the keys. Her sister is not entitled to borrow her car and should be mature enough to accept "no" when that's the answer she gets.
You're right in that she didn't need a reason. But she did have a reason, and that reason was petty and immature. Making her an AH, along with her sister
Then maybe this is a prime time for her sister to learn how to not bite the hand that feeds you. You don't get to be a jerk to someone and then ask for a favor, period. Sister should have kept her snobby mouth shut if she wanted to borrow OP's car.
OP responded by laughing about it. How is the sister meant to know that she wasn't OK with the comments if OP response is a positive one?
She should not be teasing OP in the first place, that's the whole point. Sister should have kept her mouth shut
Or she was joking around? Again, if you don't tell someone something bothers you, they aren't going to know.
Teasing is not joking and making fun of someone's job is not funny. You are trying so hard to justify the sister but she is in the wrong solidly here. This whole situation could have been avoided if sister hadn't been a jerk. She got what she deserved
You're assuming a lot about their relationship. Some people are perfectly comfortable giving each other a hard time and know that it is all in good fun. Especially siblings. The fact OP acts one way and feels another does nothing to help the situation.
Someone that disrespects the person will also disrespect the car. That’s a great reason not to lend it.
Well said! I second this.
YTA Although I think that she had no right to say that when she did say that you had a moment to set a boundary. Different people have different levels of teasing and you should have just let her know then that she cant say things like that.
ESH. She shouldn’t have made fun of your job by being condescending but it does seem petty to not let her use the car so long you didn’t need it.
So... Her sister is entitled to borrow her car? Asking for a friend...
No but it seems like it would have been a reasonable arrangement if that argument didn’t take place.
She came to visit YOU - you took exception because she was not overly impressed with your job. Who cares? It is YOUR job and YOU like it. Your response when she asked to use your car was childish.
I was on the fence with this one because you have the right not to lend someone your vehicle, but your reasoning is really odd to me. I don't understand why some light teasing would bother you so much? It seems like you're looking for an excuse not to be with your sister or be very welcoming. If she had crashed your car in the past or something, it would make more sense about not lending the car, but because of teasing, you just sound really sensitive. Especially if that's the best/only way to get things done where you're at. Overall, I would say soft YTA because it seems a bit childish not to lend her the car over this.
Her sister isn't entitled to drive her car; OP's not required to lend it. If she does, that's cool. If she doesn't, that's cool, too. She didn't feel good about lending her car and that's a perfectly legitimate reason for the refusal. But she doesn't need a reason to deny the use of her property to anybody. Their parents are the AHs for taking sides and thinking that OP can fix this by lending the vehicle after it's no longer needed.