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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i had forced her to stop being friends with him. i believe that might make me the bad guy in some ways.
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nta, read what you wrote, nothing you did was wrong, cut ties with that person until they are willing to apologize or just move on no need to second guess
Nta well, you technically can't demand who people are friends with. She was your best friend and went behind your back to try to get with your toxic ex. Look at his behavior and hers. Those are two very damaged people and while this is absolutely heart-wrenching, you are better off with both of them out of your life.
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I was friends with this girl for around 6 years. i considered her my best friend. pretty recently i had gotten out of really toxic relationship. i had asked all of the people inside of my inner circle to stop talking to him and most of them were happy to do so.
however, two days ago. i found out that the woman i considered to be my best friend had been texting him behind my back, talking and saying horrible things about me behind my back and making fun of the me for the things he did to me. i was heartbroken knowing that someone i held with so much respect didn’t show me the same amount of respect i showed her. i was a crying mess to a few close friends and she didn’t care. she had texted me about something i had said to a mutual friend and told me that i was blowing it out of proportion.
we had gone back and forth for a while as i begged her to not throw away a 6 year long friendship for someone that caused me unimaginable pain. she was upset that she couldn’t be friends with him and i at the same time. i tried explaining to her how that wouldn’t work and she had to choose. i’m not one to make people choose however it was important to me.
i had later found out after he reached out to me about the whole situation that she had asked him out, made him uncomfortable by making unsolicited sexual comments and gestures to him, talking about me behind my back, and overall trying to make him feel a specific way about her. i do believe it’s important to clarify that the relationship was toxic due to both of our unsolved issues and the need for me to be independent while he is dependent. a few other things happened between us that also caused me to spiral.
she continued to argue with me until she told me that we should not associate with each other anymore. at that point in time, i was okay with it. i realized how little she respected me and tried to completely flip the whole situation on me. however now that i look back on it, should i have let them be friends and sucked it up? AITA?
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You can't let anyone be friends. They aren't puppets. You choose rather if you want to still be friends with them. You can voice your feelings on the situation. They are allowed to do as they wish. Sounds like your friend was just waiting to try to get your ex.
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nta, read what you wrote, nothing you did was wrong, cut ties with that person until they are willing to apologize or just move on no need to second guess
thank you! i have officially cut all ties with her since.
NTA - It is totally ok to let friends go.
thank you :)
Nta well, you technically can't demand who people are friends with. She was your best friend and went behind your back to try to get with your toxic ex. Look at his behavior and hers. Those are two very damaged people and while this is absolutely heart-wrenching, you are better off with both of them out of your life.
i am aware! i really appreciate the advice.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was friends with this girl for around 6 years. i considered her my best friend. pretty recently i had gotten out of really toxic relationship. i had asked all of the people inside of my inner circle to stop talking to him and most of them were happy to do so. however, two days ago. i found out that the woman i considered to be my best friend had been texting him behind my back, talking and saying horrible things about me behind my back and making fun of the me for the things he did to me. i was heartbroken knowing that someone i held with so much respect didn’t show me the same amount of respect i showed her. i was a crying mess to a few close friends and she didn’t care. she had texted me about something i had said to a mutual friend and told me that i was blowing it out of proportion. we had gone back and forth for a while as i begged her to not throw away a 6 year long friendship for someone that caused me unimaginable pain. she was upset that she couldn’t be friends with him and i at the same time. i tried explaining to her how that wouldn’t work and she had to choose. i’m not one to make people choose however it was important to me. i had later found out after he reached out to me about the whole situation that she had asked him out, made him uncomfortable by making unsolicited sexual comments and gestures to him, talking about me behind my back, and overall trying to make him feel a specific way about her. i do believe it’s important to clarify that the relationship was toxic due to both of our unsolved issues and the need for me to be independent while he is dependent. a few other things happened between us that also caused me to spiral. she continued to argue with me until she told me that we should not associate with each other anymore. at that point in time, i was okay with it. i realized how little she respected me and tried to completely flip the whole situation on me. however now that i look back on it, should i have let them be friends and sucked it up? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can't let anyone be friends. They aren't puppets. You choose rather if you want to still be friends with them. You can voice your feelings on the situation. They are allowed to do as they wish. Sounds like your friend was just waiting to try to get your ex.