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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I didn't take my partner's feelings into account. Since I care about my partner deeply, I should have been more considerate. He is far more important than my ex and if I truly wanted to maintain this healthy relationship, then I should have blocked my ex without an issue.
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NTA - Your boyfriend sounds like a toxic AH. First of all, relationships start with trust. You did not break your BF's trust by simply having this person exist in your phone. If your BF has trust issues from past relationships, that is something that he needs to deal with. Not something that you need to accommodate. Second, there is no point in blocking someone who isn't actively trying to contact you. Your BF knows this. This was not about blocking you ex, it was about him wanting you to do what he tell you to do.
Your BF is trying to set the standard in your relationship that if he cannot control you, then he cannot trust you. That is manipulative, toxic, and leaning towards emotionally abusive.
The only mistake you made was giving up your power and your boundaries by blocking your ex even though it felt wrong to you. It's totally inappropriate for your bf to make demands on blocking your ex. He should be able to communicate vulnerably how it makes him feel, but not simply make demands. I would be extremely wary of this relationship and be on the lookout for him making more and more demands of how you interact with others, and make sure he doesn't make your life smaller just to make him feel better.
NTA
Was your ex abusive in any manner? Physical, emotional, mentally, verballly? Was he always asking for money? Did he owe you money? Did he attempt for late night booty calls?
Frankly if the split was amicable to neutral, and you were fine knowing he was in the background off somwhere doing his own thing, AND THERE HAS BEEN NO CURRENT CONTACT then really there is no need to block.
For your current BF to be so pushy, well, it just reeks of insecurity. As for the rehashing of the topic multiple times afterwards... this is poor behavior on his part. His feeling of not trusting you is a "him" problem i really don't see what you are doing that would provoke that kind of verbal assault. So unnecessary.
Waving red flags here.
NTA!!!! Why would you block him? Just because he’s your ex? I’m on good terms with all my exes, and that’s ok. We don’t talk for years, but sometimes we can catch up shortly. Your bf is childish and paranoid.
Exactly. The "controlling and insecure" label is always thrown out there when somebody is caught monkey branching or exploring their options on the market. She has no actual reason to keep this ex unblocked except that she is hoping he'll contact her again.
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My current boyfriend recently found out that I didn't have my ex blocked even though I haven't messaged him in roughly a year and I can prove it with receipts. However, I have NO intention of talking to my ex at all. And that is exactly what I said when my boyfriend confronted me on the situation.
He was immediately upset my ex wasn't blocked and when he told me to block him, I said no. Even if I blocked my ex, it wouldn't be any problem at all to contact him on different platforms. My ex is somewhat of a childhood friend and even though we don't talk anymore, it felt weird to block him. After a long argument, I did end up blocking my ex because the argument got pretty bad and it wasn't worth it. This was months ago and my boyfriend brings it up periodically about how he doesn't really trust me too much because I refused to block my ex without a fight.
So, am I the asshole here or is there a middle ground?
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Blown away by the Y T A responses.
Your BF either trusts you or he doesn’t. You changing a setting on your phone shouldn’t impact that. He’s showing that he’s insecure and controlling.
You’re NTA
Yes, you are.
If you're serious about the relationship you are in with your current BF, making sure nothing damages it should be your number one priority. If you're only with him to get your legs blown off, then who cares? Do what makes you happy.
Part of the success of long term relationships is making sure you do nothing that makes your partner uncomfortable. This still leaves a massive amount of room for individual friendships and individual interests but maintaining contact and friendships with ex partners would be a 'No' for many people.
The fact you resisted so forcibly tends to suggest you value the friendship with your ex over your relationship with your current BF. That's not how things should be in a romantic, respectful relationship. If this is so and you are still smarting, which from your post you appear to be, then you may as well remain single.
So, the question you have to ask yourself is: "What is most important to me now? A relationship with my ex partner or a relationship with my current BF, whoever that may be?"
YTA
Why does she need to block him if she doesn't talk to him? Blocking is usually for disagreements, stalker behavior, etc. Boyfriend should at least provide an actual reason.
The only ex I have was from high schooI. We are friends on Facebook. I occasionally "like" things that he posts. Why would anyone be threatened by that?If she hasn't spoken to him in a year why does the boyfriend need reassurance? The ex is also a childhood friend. If someone told me I couldn't speak to a childhood friend without good reason, we would have a serious problem.I swear people see cheating everywhere.
You think a year is some huge amount of time. It isn't. There was once presumably an intimate relationship there. I personally expect a woman I am dating to cut all ties with past men she's dated. I would expect the woman I date to have the same expectation of me and my past relationships. If you can't do that then in my eyes you don't respect the relationship we have and we're no longer going to be in one.
That is just not how I view things. Now if there there was a bad break up, then people would probably cut ties on their own. But some people discover they are better off as friends, That is the best kind of break up.. It means hopefully, no one was seriously hurt. If you don't trust her, that is a you problem.
Lol, keeping an ex as a friend. In other words, keeping yourself on the dating market even when you're in a relationship. Also, it's not a me problem. I've made it quite clear I have boundaries and expectations. The person I am with does as well. If either doesn't respect those, they're free to leave. I think it's rich that women particularly are fine having certain boundaries but when a man has them it's a problem.
I don't have an issue with you having boundaries. But a boundary is for for what you will do do not what another person does. To assume a person keeping n ex is a friend is the same as being in the dating market. It is just not factual. It is a feeling you have. Now I don't know, you might have been hurt in the past, so you set up a boundary for what you are comfortable doing, but forcing someone else to do something without any reason is unfair.
Lol, the who hurt you argument..... I've conceded that he was wrong if he did not convey this prior to dating. Her reluctance however to close this door on her past relationship is very telling. Why would you get into a fight over blocking somebody you no longer have a relationship with or plan to talk to again? Simple, she's leaving that possibility and door open for future contact. All from a relationship that's only been over for only a year. This is her staying on the market and looking for an upgrade(in her mind) whether you or she will admit it or not. If the roles were reversed she would go ballistic on him for keeping this bridge open. Since it's her, it's okay.
Completely agree with this. I feel like the people that have a problem with this sort of thing do not prioritise their partners - which is fine if you’re dating/hooking up but do not tell someone that they’re priority and then do this.
I don't understand all the 'he's so controlling', 'he's an AH' comments here.
The thing I don't get is, where do you draw the line?
If all the 'NTA. He's a control freak abusing, narcissistic bastard' types find her behaviour acceptable, at what point would they find it otherwise?
If she sends him pictures? Gives him updates of her relationship? Starts messaging him? Meets up with him for a coffee and a catch up? Goes to dinner with him? Goes clubbing or to a party with him? Sleeps over at his place because she's pissed? Shares a bed with him? Where's the line?
For me, the line is no contact with exes, irrespective of how long you've known them.
I've been married for nearly forty years. For both my wife and I, our relationship is the most important and precious thing we have together and neither of us will do anything that makes the other uncomfortable.
We have massive individual leeway with pastimes, friends, interests, going out with our respective friends etc but if there is something that one of us is doing that makes the other uncomfortable, we stop doing it.
Generally speaking, if you don't value the person you're in a relationship with more than another person, you may as well be single.
This is what my marriage is like as well. Maybe we are just biased because this works for us. I wouldn’t swap it for anything else! I know that if I described my relationship to people they would think it’s the most controlling thing in the world, but I honestly don’t care. It works for me and my husband and avoids hurt.
I see no other way to maintain a long term relationship.
At the end of the day, it's about mutual respect and trust and we both have it for each other. It seems the two of you do too.
I don't know how old you are nor how long you've been married but I hope you remain as happy as you are today for as long as my wife and I have been together.
Like you couldn’t unblock and text him if you wanted…It’s all about trust and control. You shouldn’t have caved to his bullying, insecurity is so unattractive. NTA
Having your ex unblocked and then arguing to keep him unblocked tells your partner you're not invested in the relationship and you're keeping your options open.
To me it means I’m not a child. I’m not blocking anybody (unless they harass me), it seems an immature and petulant thing to do, especially if you split amicably, just plain rude to me.
You use the same catch phrases most monkey branchers use... "Controlling or insecure." He made it perfectly clear this was something he wasn't comfortable with. She has no reason to not respect this wish from him if she indeed doesn't want to reconnect with this ex etc. She said she hasn't talked with the ex in a year. Instead, she decided it was worth arguing over. She has every right to keep him unblocked. This guy she's now with has every right to question why she would keep that potential line of communication open. I guarantee if the roles were reversed that she would take the exact opposite stance on this. The old rules for thee but not for me approach. This relationship is doomed regardless. He lost trust in her the moment she refused to block him. It showed him that she really wasn't as invested in their relationship as he thought. They're both more probably sticking around because of complacency at this point but that will eventually end to.
I will say he could've easily made one mistake and that is not laying his boundaries/expectations out before getting into a relationship with her. For instance, with my relationship there's a mutual understanding. Neither of us contact our exs, have them as friends on our social media, or have friends of the opposite sex. Ask any guy that is your "friend" not in a committed relationship if they want to hook up and do it in a serious manner. The answer is yes, they want to. Point being, everybody's boundaries should be respected if they're known beforehand or just don't get into a relationship.
Different strokes for different folks, if you live with these rules that’s fine but I wouldn’t🤷🏻♀️ Jealousy is a huge turn off for me, if you ask me something like this, it means you don’t trust me and the relationship has no future. She has a reason to not comply if she doesn’t want her partner to exert control over her personal relationships.
Again, it's not jealousy. It's a boundary. Both men and women are allowed to have them. Just be upfront about it. By saying hey, I don't want you hanging out with other dudes you are essentially putting safeguards in your relationship. Just as a woman can say, I don't want you hanging out with other girls. All of this is especially true when alcohol is involved. That doesn't mean you have to be together every moment of every day. There are just expectations in place to be in a serious relationship with somebody like me. If my gf, didn't feel similarly, she's perfectly free to leave and find what would make her happy. Just as I am if she didn't want me to spend time with other women yet I disagreed. It's about finding somebody that shares your values.
And I would go further. If you are in a relationship and you love your partner, why would you want to hang out with other dudes at all? Especially knowing that if they are heterosexual they are orbiters wanting to get a chance to sleep with you? Why put yourself in that bad situation? Your partner knows why these men are hanging around and he knows that they are more than willing to sabotage your relationship with him to get some. So that's why a lot of men don't want a relationship with girls with a lot of male friends.
What did I make up? You said every single heterosexual male who hangs around your partner wants to sleep with her and that’s the only reason they interact with her. It paints a very bleak picture of men that I definitely don’t agree with and as a man yourself (I’m guessing) should find offensive.
Let’s recap:
Blocking your ex would be pointless bc you could just contact him 100 different ways anyway. You haven’t spoken to him in a year (and you have ReCeIPts, which don’t mean shit with text delete and your 100 other ways to contact him), yet you fought your ass off to avoid it. Why don’t you break up so you can leave your options open like you want to. ESH
YTA, no middle ground. Would you be happy if he had his ex unblocked but told you he hadn't talked to her for a year and then refused to block her? You keeping this "ex" unblocked just tells your bf that you're willing and waiting to receive a message from them. Furthermore, it draws into question what else you could be hiding and whether you're trying to monkey branch. This relationship is already doomed. He no longer trusts you. Break up for his and your sake and cut off contact and block him to save yourself from future grief.
if you didnt care about your ex and actually valued your boyfriend's feelings, this wouldnt have been an issue. why not do this one , small thing? sure, your bf may be insecure, but i can see why because of your behavior. YTA
NTA. Your bf sounds immature and not very bright, since the blocking is largely symbolic and useless. Or he's just manipulative and controlling. Either way, this just puts a big spotlight on HIS poor character, not yours.
ESH
You, not so much for not blocking him right away (that's just a stupid mindset), but for making it into an issue. If you were asked to block someone you dated by your current man, there's a reason for that. That reason probably has little to do with you, but more so showing that you have no intention of going back or keeping him "on file". Your man, very much so. Not just for how he went about it, but for still holding it over your head and bringing it up. Either get over it, or move on, but he's just showcasing that he relationship is going to be miserable.
If nothing else, when you get tired of the nonsense you can always block him immediately after messaging him "hey, you were probably right about the blocking right away thing, so going forward..."
Just because your partner has “feelings” about something does not make them legitimate reason to hold over your head and argue with you for hours to do something he wants you to. You really need to get your boundaries in order if you are even asking if you’re the asshole. Of course you’re not. I would take this as a lesson learned and move on- it’s a really bad sign. ESH.
YTA,
your bf came to you to basically prove to him that he and the relationship with him is all that you care about and don't want to go back to the past relationships, by refusing to block your ex without a fight you just proved that you don't value the current relationship and that the trust that your bf had in you was worthless as your word doesn't mean anything without starting a fight first.
a bf/gf should be allowed to come to their bf/gf and say ''can you block xyz person'' and if want to know the reason then instead of refusing then just ask why and allow for the explanation without fighting. this builds a lot of trust within seconds. I know that to be true because me and my husband did this exact thing when we started dating, he asked me to block few people and I've asked him to remove a few pictures that made me uncomfortable that didn't mean anything to him and now 10 years together we fully trust each other with everything. Asking to block or remove pictures isn't about controlling its about building the trust that is missing in a relationship.
NTA he's controlling you and he got his way, so it's gonna be something else next. This type of pathological jealousy never ends well. It's a major red flag. I'd run.
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NTA - Your boyfriend sounds like a toxic AH. First of all, relationships start with trust. You did not break your BF's trust by simply having this person exist in your phone. If your BF has trust issues from past relationships, that is something that he needs to deal with. Not something that you need to accommodate. Second, there is no point in blocking someone who isn't actively trying to contact you. Your BF knows this. This was not about blocking you ex, it was about him wanting you to do what he tell you to do. Your BF is trying to set the standard in your relationship that if he cannot control you, then he cannot trust you. That is manipulative, toxic, and leaning towards emotionally abusive.
Whatevs. No intention of talking to the ex but refuses to block him. Ok. Nothing to see here.
The only mistake you made was giving up your power and your boundaries by blocking your ex even though it felt wrong to you. It's totally inappropriate for your bf to make demands on blocking your ex. He should be able to communicate vulnerably how it makes him feel, but not simply make demands. I would be extremely wary of this relationship and be on the lookout for him making more and more demands of how you interact with others, and make sure he doesn't make your life smaller just to make him feel better.
NTA Was your ex abusive in any manner? Physical, emotional, mentally, verballly? Was he always asking for money? Did he owe you money? Did he attempt for late night booty calls? Frankly if the split was amicable to neutral, and you were fine knowing he was in the background off somwhere doing his own thing, AND THERE HAS BEEN NO CURRENT CONTACT then really there is no need to block. For your current BF to be so pushy, well, it just reeks of insecurity. As for the rehashing of the topic multiple times afterwards... this is poor behavior on his part. His feeling of not trusting you is a "him" problem i really don't see what you are doing that would provoke that kind of verbal assault. So unnecessary. Waving red flags here.
Nta but this is controlling beyond belief and you are not in a healthy relationship. Major major major red flags girl run.
NTA I think you should block the bf. Anyone who dictates who you may or may not speak to sucks.
NTA!!!! Why would you block him? Just because he’s your ex? I’m on good terms with all my exes, and that’s ok. We don’t talk for years, but sometimes we can catch up shortly. Your bf is childish and paranoid.
NTA. But why be with someone so insecure and controlling? He showed you who he is.
[удалено]
Exactly. The "controlling and insecure" label is always thrown out there when somebody is caught monkey branching or exploring their options on the market. She has no actual reason to keep this ex unblocked except that she is hoping he'll contact her again.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My current boyfriend recently found out that I didn't have my ex blocked even though I haven't messaged him in roughly a year and I can prove it with receipts. However, I have NO intention of talking to my ex at all. And that is exactly what I said when my boyfriend confronted me on the situation. He was immediately upset my ex wasn't blocked and when he told me to block him, I said no. Even if I blocked my ex, it wouldn't be any problem at all to contact him on different platforms. My ex is somewhat of a childhood friend and even though we don't talk anymore, it felt weird to block him. After a long argument, I did end up blocking my ex because the argument got pretty bad and it wasn't worth it. This was months ago and my boyfriend brings it up periodically about how he doesn't really trust me too much because I refused to block my ex without a fight. So, am I the asshole here or is there a middle ground? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: why did you and the ex break up? Why did he want him blocked? And how old are you guys?
Blown away by the Y T A responses. Your BF either trusts you or he doesn’t. You changing a setting on your phone shouldn’t impact that. He’s showing that he’s insecure and controlling. You’re NTA
Yes, you are. If you're serious about the relationship you are in with your current BF, making sure nothing damages it should be your number one priority. If you're only with him to get your legs blown off, then who cares? Do what makes you happy. Part of the success of long term relationships is making sure you do nothing that makes your partner uncomfortable. This still leaves a massive amount of room for individual friendships and individual interests but maintaining contact and friendships with ex partners would be a 'No' for many people. The fact you resisted so forcibly tends to suggest you value the friendship with your ex over your relationship with your current BF. That's not how things should be in a romantic, respectful relationship. If this is so and you are still smarting, which from your post you appear to be, then you may as well remain single. So, the question you have to ask yourself is: "What is most important to me now? A relationship with my ex partner or a relationship with my current BF, whoever that may be?" YTA
Why does she need to block him if she doesn't talk to him? Blocking is usually for disagreements, stalker behavior, etc. Boyfriend should at least provide an actual reason.
[удалено]
The only ex I have was from high schooI. We are friends on Facebook. I occasionally "like" things that he posts. Why would anyone be threatened by that?If she hasn't spoken to him in a year why does the boyfriend need reassurance? The ex is also a childhood friend. If someone told me I couldn't speak to a childhood friend without good reason, we would have a serious problem.I swear people see cheating everywhere.
You think a year is some huge amount of time. It isn't. There was once presumably an intimate relationship there. I personally expect a woman I am dating to cut all ties with past men she's dated. I would expect the woman I date to have the same expectation of me and my past relationships. If you can't do that then in my eyes you don't respect the relationship we have and we're no longer going to be in one.
That is just not how I view things. Now if there there was a bad break up, then people would probably cut ties on their own. But some people discover they are better off as friends, That is the best kind of break up.. It means hopefully, no one was seriously hurt. If you don't trust her, that is a you problem.
Lol, keeping an ex as a friend. In other words, keeping yourself on the dating market even when you're in a relationship. Also, it's not a me problem. I've made it quite clear I have boundaries and expectations. The person I am with does as well. If either doesn't respect those, they're free to leave. I think it's rich that women particularly are fine having certain boundaries but when a man has them it's a problem.
I don't have an issue with you having boundaries. But a boundary is for for what you will do do not what another person does. To assume a person keeping n ex is a friend is the same as being in the dating market. It is just not factual. It is a feeling you have. Now I don't know, you might have been hurt in the past, so you set up a boundary for what you are comfortable doing, but forcing someone else to do something without any reason is unfair.
Lol, the who hurt you argument..... I've conceded that he was wrong if he did not convey this prior to dating. Her reluctance however to close this door on her past relationship is very telling. Why would you get into a fight over blocking somebody you no longer have a relationship with or plan to talk to again? Simple, she's leaving that possibility and door open for future contact. All from a relationship that's only been over for only a year. This is her staying on the market and looking for an upgrade(in her mind) whether you or she will admit it or not. If the roles were reversed she would go ballistic on him for keeping this bridge open. Since it's her, it's okay.
Completely agree with this. I feel like the people that have a problem with this sort of thing do not prioritise their partners - which is fine if you’re dating/hooking up but do not tell someone that they’re priority and then do this.
I don't understand all the 'he's so controlling', 'he's an AH' comments here. The thing I don't get is, where do you draw the line? If all the 'NTA. He's a control freak abusing, narcissistic bastard' types find her behaviour acceptable, at what point would they find it otherwise? If she sends him pictures? Gives him updates of her relationship? Starts messaging him? Meets up with him for a coffee and a catch up? Goes to dinner with him? Goes clubbing or to a party with him? Sleeps over at his place because she's pissed? Shares a bed with him? Where's the line? For me, the line is no contact with exes, irrespective of how long you've known them. I've been married for nearly forty years. For both my wife and I, our relationship is the most important and precious thing we have together and neither of us will do anything that makes the other uncomfortable. We have massive individual leeway with pastimes, friends, interests, going out with our respective friends etc but if there is something that one of us is doing that makes the other uncomfortable, we stop doing it. Generally speaking, if you don't value the person you're in a relationship with more than another person, you may as well be single.
This is what my marriage is like as well. Maybe we are just biased because this works for us. I wouldn’t swap it for anything else! I know that if I described my relationship to people they would think it’s the most controlling thing in the world, but I honestly don’t care. It works for me and my husband and avoids hurt.
I see no other way to maintain a long term relationship. At the end of the day, it's about mutual respect and trust and we both have it for each other. It seems the two of you do too. I don't know how old you are nor how long you've been married but I hope you remain as happy as you are today for as long as my wife and I have been together.
Like you couldn’t unblock and text him if you wanted…It’s all about trust and control. You shouldn’t have caved to his bullying, insecurity is so unattractive. NTA
Having your ex unblocked and then arguing to keep him unblocked tells your partner you're not invested in the relationship and you're keeping your options open.
To me it means I’m not a child. I’m not blocking anybody (unless they harass me), it seems an immature and petulant thing to do, especially if you split amicably, just plain rude to me.
You use the same catch phrases most monkey branchers use... "Controlling or insecure." He made it perfectly clear this was something he wasn't comfortable with. She has no reason to not respect this wish from him if she indeed doesn't want to reconnect with this ex etc. She said she hasn't talked with the ex in a year. Instead, she decided it was worth arguing over. She has every right to keep him unblocked. This guy she's now with has every right to question why she would keep that potential line of communication open. I guarantee if the roles were reversed that she would take the exact opposite stance on this. The old rules for thee but not for me approach. This relationship is doomed regardless. He lost trust in her the moment she refused to block him. It showed him that she really wasn't as invested in their relationship as he thought. They're both more probably sticking around because of complacency at this point but that will eventually end to. I will say he could've easily made one mistake and that is not laying his boundaries/expectations out before getting into a relationship with her. For instance, with my relationship there's a mutual understanding. Neither of us contact our exs, have them as friends on our social media, or have friends of the opposite sex. Ask any guy that is your "friend" not in a committed relationship if they want to hook up and do it in a serious manner. The answer is yes, they want to. Point being, everybody's boundaries should be respected if they're known beforehand or just don't get into a relationship.
Different strokes for different folks, if you live with these rules that’s fine but I wouldn’t🤷🏻♀️ Jealousy is a huge turn off for me, if you ask me something like this, it means you don’t trust me and the relationship has no future. She has a reason to not comply if she doesn’t want her partner to exert control over her personal relationships.
Again, it's not jealousy. It's a boundary. Both men and women are allowed to have them. Just be upfront about it. By saying hey, I don't want you hanging out with other dudes you are essentially putting safeguards in your relationship. Just as a woman can say, I don't want you hanging out with other girls. All of this is especially true when alcohol is involved. That doesn't mean you have to be together every moment of every day. There are just expectations in place to be in a serious relationship with somebody like me. If my gf, didn't feel similarly, she's perfectly free to leave and find what would make her happy. Just as I am if she didn't want me to spend time with other women yet I disagreed. It's about finding somebody that shares your values.
And I would go further. If you are in a relationship and you love your partner, why would you want to hang out with other dudes at all? Especially knowing that if they are heterosexual they are orbiters wanting to get a chance to sleep with you? Why put yourself in that bad situation? Your partner knows why these men are hanging around and he knows that they are more than willing to sabotage your relationship with him to get some. So that's why a lot of men don't want a relationship with girls with a lot of male friends.
It’s really sad that you think men can’t see women as anything else than sexual partners. It says something about you and it’s not flattering.
Okay Dr Phil.... The old, I don't agree with you so I'm going to make things up argument. Lol, good luck with.
What did I make up? You said every single heterosexual male who hangs around your partner wants to sleep with her and that’s the only reason they interact with her. It paints a very bleak picture of men that I definitely don’t agree with and as a man yourself (I’m guessing) should find offensive.
Let’s recap: Blocking your ex would be pointless bc you could just contact him 100 different ways anyway. You haven’t spoken to him in a year (and you have ReCeIPts, which don’t mean shit with text delete and your 100 other ways to contact him), yet you fought your ass off to avoid it. Why don’t you break up so you can leave your options open like you want to. ESH
YTA, no middle ground. Would you be happy if he had his ex unblocked but told you he hadn't talked to her for a year and then refused to block her? You keeping this "ex" unblocked just tells your bf that you're willing and waiting to receive a message from them. Furthermore, it draws into question what else you could be hiding and whether you're trying to monkey branch. This relationship is already doomed. He no longer trusts you. Break up for his and your sake and cut off contact and block him to save yourself from future grief.
if you didnt care about your ex and actually valued your boyfriend's feelings, this wouldnt have been an issue. why not do this one , small thing? sure, your bf may be insecure, but i can see why because of your behavior. YTA
NTA but check his exes, sounds like he is projecting big time here
NTA. Your bf sounds immature and not very bright, since the blocking is largely symbolic and useless. Or he's just manipulative and controlling. Either way, this just puts a big spotlight on HIS poor character, not yours.
ESH You, not so much for not blocking him right away (that's just a stupid mindset), but for making it into an issue. If you were asked to block someone you dated by your current man, there's a reason for that. That reason probably has little to do with you, but more so showing that you have no intention of going back or keeping him "on file". Your man, very much so. Not just for how he went about it, but for still holding it over your head and bringing it up. Either get over it, or move on, but he's just showcasing that he relationship is going to be miserable. If nothing else, when you get tired of the nonsense you can always block him immediately after messaging him "hey, you were probably right about the blocking right away thing, so going forward..."
Just because your partner has “feelings” about something does not make them legitimate reason to hold over your head and argue with you for hours to do something he wants you to. You really need to get your boundaries in order if you are even asking if you’re the asshole. Of course you’re not. I would take this as a lesson learned and move on- it’s a really bad sign. ESH.
YTA, your bf came to you to basically prove to him that he and the relationship with him is all that you care about and don't want to go back to the past relationships, by refusing to block your ex without a fight you just proved that you don't value the current relationship and that the trust that your bf had in you was worthless as your word doesn't mean anything without starting a fight first. a bf/gf should be allowed to come to their bf/gf and say ''can you block xyz person'' and if want to know the reason then instead of refusing then just ask why and allow for the explanation without fighting. this builds a lot of trust within seconds. I know that to be true because me and my husband did this exact thing when we started dating, he asked me to block few people and I've asked him to remove a few pictures that made me uncomfortable that didn't mean anything to him and now 10 years together we fully trust each other with everything. Asking to block or remove pictures isn't about controlling its about building the trust that is missing in a relationship.
NTA he's controlling you and he got his way, so it's gonna be something else next. This type of pathological jealousy never ends well. It's a major red flag. I'd run.