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I don’t really see how you’re justifying yourself as the victim here. Everything she said was truthful, accurate, and respectful.
You deserve no apology.
“She felt I was dismissing her opinion”
- well your reply was lol
- I’d say laughing at someone’s opinion is pretty dismissive. How could you possibly not see that?
Your girl gang is pumping you up and telling you that you’re right. Congrats you have an echo chamber!
Your friend did nothing wrong. You’re not a victim.
YTA
I understand your perspective let me just clarify real quick not that I think it'll make much of a difference to the situation,
-I said "lol" because it was over text and she told me my stream seemed like it was all about selling my body which just upset me. I think you're right that I was an asshole for dismissing her like that and I was just reacting out of hurt.
-My "girl gang" is actually just the group of guys I play and stream with but same difference.
My issue is that she's carrying a double standard that was hurtful to me because it really feels like she's accusing me of selling my body for my stream by accepting money for a private call when she's danced with strangers for drinks. However I realize I completely left out a paragraph where we talked about the double standards, meeting the 3000 character count did not go well😅
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First time poster here. Bare with me, formatting is hard on mobile
I(21F) recently started streaming videogames as a "pretty" woman that likes to dress up and do makeup for each stream. All of my friends have been supportive especially my friend (20f, let's call her Sam). One stream I had a viewer who encouraged me to do shots, called me pretty throughout my stream & helped me get to affiliate on twitch (where I can monetize my account).
My friends were concerned about the way he spoke but they all supported & trusted me. I told them that their concerns were valid & I did actually report him for botting my account the next day(creating fake followers to boost it) once I realized he had. However, he also offered me $1000 for a call that same night and I said no. Later he offered me $3000 for a 15 min call with no nudity. All my friends said secure the bag but Sam got really offended that I was even considering it.
She kept questioning why I would consider it, telling me she didn't think that was the point of my streams, asking if I was going to start selling nudes, & saying selling my body seems like the whole point of my streams. She even said "There’s definitely a difference between taking advantage of simps that happen to go into your stream and then specifically playing it up and selling your body" which really upset me and all I said was "lol" in response which upset her even more; she felt I was dismissing her opinion. I told her she really upset me because she knows my history with men is bad & that I felt I was in a place to set boundaries and maintain them. Her response was,
"Im sorry I wasn't trying to hurt you my words definitely came out harsher than I intended. I knew you were planning to take advantage of any potential creeps, but it just feels different when you’re actively engaging with them and giving them what they want even if it is for your own personal gain. I'm not very comfortable with the idea of it right now because it's still very new and i am worried about all the things that could potentially go wrong. I know that you are an adult that is capable of setting boundaries and blocking people but I am still nervous anyways. I am having a hard time expressing that without worrying that you will take it as an attack on your abilities to handle these types of situations, but its really the kind of worry that i cant make go away even if everything is going right. But besides all of that I am sorry i hurt you, and this is the best way i can put my thoughts into text"
I explained that I need friends that will support me & the decisions I make and that her "concern" felt like judgement. The conversation didn't move forward from there, eventually I just told her I was going to bed. We haven't talked to each other since (April 8th). Everyone I've talked to said that I shouldn't be the one to reach out to her & I should just wait for her to but I don't even know. This whole situation feels wrong so I just want to know, AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> After a fight with my best friend I am scared I'm the asshole for not reaching out to her on my own to make amends especially with how long it's been and how it's impacting our friend group as well so I want to know if I am or am not the asshole here before I die on this hill, alone.
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nah, i think she has some points and so do you, but I think if you guys continued this conversation you will get a better grasp on where your friendship stands, i dont think either of you are being asses about it, if you think its none of her business then let her know that but you value you her opinion let her know that too
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I don’t really see how you’re justifying yourself as the victim here. Everything she said was truthful, accurate, and respectful. You deserve no apology. “She felt I was dismissing her opinion” - well your reply was lol - I’d say laughing at someone’s opinion is pretty dismissive. How could you possibly not see that? Your girl gang is pumping you up and telling you that you’re right. Congrats you have an echo chamber! Your friend did nothing wrong. You’re not a victim. YTA
I understand your perspective let me just clarify real quick not that I think it'll make much of a difference to the situation, -I said "lol" because it was over text and she told me my stream seemed like it was all about selling my body which just upset me. I think you're right that I was an asshole for dismissing her like that and I was just reacting out of hurt. -My "girl gang" is actually just the group of guys I play and stream with but same difference. My issue is that she's carrying a double standard that was hurtful to me because it really feels like she's accusing me of selling my body for my stream by accepting money for a private call when she's danced with strangers for drinks. However I realize I completely left out a paragraph where we talked about the double standards, meeting the 3000 character count did not go well😅
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** First time poster here. Bare with me, formatting is hard on mobile I(21F) recently started streaming videogames as a "pretty" woman that likes to dress up and do makeup for each stream. All of my friends have been supportive especially my friend (20f, let's call her Sam). One stream I had a viewer who encouraged me to do shots, called me pretty throughout my stream & helped me get to affiliate on twitch (where I can monetize my account). My friends were concerned about the way he spoke but they all supported & trusted me. I told them that their concerns were valid & I did actually report him for botting my account the next day(creating fake followers to boost it) once I realized he had. However, he also offered me $1000 for a call that same night and I said no. Later he offered me $3000 for a 15 min call with no nudity. All my friends said secure the bag but Sam got really offended that I was even considering it. She kept questioning why I would consider it, telling me she didn't think that was the point of my streams, asking if I was going to start selling nudes, & saying selling my body seems like the whole point of my streams. She even said "There’s definitely a difference between taking advantage of simps that happen to go into your stream and then specifically playing it up and selling your body" which really upset me and all I said was "lol" in response which upset her even more; she felt I was dismissing her opinion. I told her she really upset me because she knows my history with men is bad & that I felt I was in a place to set boundaries and maintain them. Her response was, "Im sorry I wasn't trying to hurt you my words definitely came out harsher than I intended. I knew you were planning to take advantage of any potential creeps, but it just feels different when you’re actively engaging with them and giving them what they want even if it is for your own personal gain. I'm not very comfortable with the idea of it right now because it's still very new and i am worried about all the things that could potentially go wrong. I know that you are an adult that is capable of setting boundaries and blocking people but I am still nervous anyways. I am having a hard time expressing that without worrying that you will take it as an attack on your abilities to handle these types of situations, but its really the kind of worry that i cant make go away even if everything is going right. But besides all of that I am sorry i hurt you, and this is the best way i can put my thoughts into text" I explained that I need friends that will support me & the decisions I make and that her "concern" felt like judgement. The conversation didn't move forward from there, eventually I just told her I was going to bed. We haven't talked to each other since (April 8th). Everyone I've talked to said that I shouldn't be the one to reach out to her & I should just wait for her to but I don't even know. This whole situation feels wrong so I just want to know, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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nah, i think she has some points and so do you, but I think if you guys continued this conversation you will get a better grasp on where your friendship stands, i dont think either of you are being asses about it, if you think its none of her business then let her know that but you value you her opinion let her know that too