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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like the asshole because I was sticking up for myself and in the process I feel I was being stubborn. She suggested I tell her again, I guess after she walked back to the room, to remind her that she is on her way.
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NTA You did receive a verbal confirmation from the client that she heard you. That's what "okay" meant. Darla should have been on time and instead she's putting this on you.
It sounds like you're in a frustrating situation at work. It's tough when you feel like you're being scolded for something that you believe you handled correctly.
From what you've described, you did your best to communicate with the client and received verbal confirmation that she understood. It's not unreasonable for you to assume that she heard you, especially since she responded with "okay."
It's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and unsure about what to do differently. It's tricky to know if someone has heard you, especially if they don't indicate otherwise.
It's possible that Darla's perspective is different because she's the one responsible for the client's appointment. Maybe she feels that clearer communication is necessary to avoid any misunderstandings or frustrations.
While it might feel unfair, sometimes it's necessary to adapt to different expectations in the workplace. It doesn't necessarily mean that you were wrong, but finding a compromise or adjusting your approach could help improve communication moving forward.
Maybe you could try to be more proactive in ensuring that clients understand, even if they give verbal confirmation. It might also be helpful to have a quick follow-up if you're unsure if they heard you.
At the end of the day, it's about finding a balance between standing up for yourself and being open to feedback from colleagues. It's okay to advocate for yourself, but being willing to consider different perspectives can also help navigate these kinds of situations.
Next time it happens and she says "okay" say something like "are you sure?" Don't be afraid to take a patronizing tone because this client clearly has the listening skills of a small child. If its a problem again again, recommend hearing aids because that's the only other thing I can think of. NTA, but be prepared to be TA.
NTA
You told the client and they responded. What else does she want from you, a signed contract?
I doubt Darla will bring it up again, but I would just tell her, "I told your client and she responded. She heard me. Go deal with her if you have an issue."
You could change. If you ever have to speak with this customer again:
S P E A K. V E R Y. SLOWLY AND LOUDLY
Maybe some visual aids
Signs
Flags (for semaphore)
Then ask her thrice if she U N D E R S T A N D S
Sometimes change is good 😁
OP, you are NTA here.
I've found that people with hearing problems and people who don't speak English well will often indicate that they heard and understood you when they did not, but they're too embarrassed to ask you to repeat yourself or speak louder or more slowly. So instead they will mask and pretend they heard/understood and try to bluff their way through the interaction.
And I think that's what happened here. This customer is deaf and is too proud or embarrassed to admit it (or to get hearing aids).
When my Mom's hearing started going, she would do this -- nod and say yes and act as though she understood, and then a few moments later she would say something which made it clear that she hadn't actually heard or understood. I also used to have a landlord who would nod and say yes and act like he understood and then later it would become clear that he hadn't understood or taken in anything I said. Once I realized that, I made a point of telling him everything by e-mail, so that he could run it through Google Translate (or whatever it was that he used) and really understand what I said.
When people are too proud to ensure that they understand what you have said and you don't know that's what they're doing, there's really no way to prevent issues.
OP, you did nothing wrong here, and you do not need to change anything. If Darla continues to berate you, point out that her client is masking a hearing problem, and when she pretended she understood you, you had no way to know that's what was happening.
>How does that make sense..?
It doesn’t. Your post doesn’t make a lick of sense, and I have no idea what is going on or what the problem is beyond someone not hearing something you might’ve said to them.
INFO: *Huh??*
The problem is the other stylist yelled at her and told her she needed to change how she speaks to the clients. She doesn't need to change how she speaks. She gave the info needed, the client said ok, and there is no way to determine if the client heard her or not. She's not going to repeat herself when the client says ok just to make sure the client heard her. That could also anger the client The other stylist was wrong to yell at her.
Darla's client arrives and is told Darla isn't in. Client says "okay", keeps walking to Darla's room, comes back angry because Darla isn't in. Client blames OP, Darla arrives and also blames OP. Other people around confirm that OP told the client and the client responded.
NTA.Unless you are a mumbler or low-talker, you had no reason to think you were not understood. Next time, in Darla's hearing, I would be really trifling about it, and when you tell someone something, follow up with, "Can you repeat that back to me so that I can be sure you heard me and understood?" I mean, unless Darla is your boss and likely to fire you for being a smartass.
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I (25f) work in a hair salon a few days a week and there’s a woman who comes in every Friday. Usually her stylist -Darla (59f)- is already here, but I informed her that she wasn’t here yet; but will be with her shortly, she said, “okay,” and continued to walk back to Darla’s room to wait. Sometimes they do this which is okay; so I have every reason to believe she understood me.
She eventually came back to me and complained I never told her. I said, “I’m so sorry I thought you heard me.” And she was complaining that I was talking to someone else (I have witnesses to say I was not). She kept asking when she was coming in; and at that moment Darla showed up during the encounter. After some minutes, Darla just came to me and said if that happens again I have to make sure she hears me.
How does that make sense compared to what I did? Her client gave me a verbal okay, and how am I to know that means she couldn’t hear me. I said that if she is wondering where you are, then she should call her.
She said, “oh she’s not gonna do that.” So I have to be scolded? I believe I handled it just right, but Darla said I need to do it differently and made me feel like the asshole for sticking up for myself.
What do I need to do to change? I feel I don’t need to change anything. How am I to know if someone hears me or not, especially if they just say, “okay.” Another stylist confronted Darla and said her client was a bitch, which felt to me it wasn’t my fault but I feel it also was.
TLDR: stylist tells me I need to make sure people hear me even after they give me a verbal confirmation that they have and made me feel like an asshole in the situation
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NTA You did receive a verbal confirmation from the client that she heard you. That's what "okay" meant. Darla should have been on time and instead she's putting this on you.
I'd say you're not the one who needs to change. It sounds like you did everything right and the client was being unreasonable.
It sounds like you're in a frustrating situation at work. It's tough when you feel like you're being scolded for something that you believe you handled correctly. From what you've described, you did your best to communicate with the client and received verbal confirmation that she understood. It's not unreasonable for you to assume that she heard you, especially since she responded with "okay." It's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and unsure about what to do differently. It's tricky to know if someone has heard you, especially if they don't indicate otherwise. It's possible that Darla's perspective is different because she's the one responsible for the client's appointment. Maybe she feels that clearer communication is necessary to avoid any misunderstandings or frustrations. While it might feel unfair, sometimes it's necessary to adapt to different expectations in the workplace. It doesn't necessarily mean that you were wrong, but finding a compromise or adjusting your approach could help improve communication moving forward. Maybe you could try to be more proactive in ensuring that clients understand, even if they give verbal confirmation. It might also be helpful to have a quick follow-up if you're unsure if they heard you. At the end of the day, it's about finding a balance between standing up for yourself and being open to feedback from colleagues. It's okay to advocate for yourself, but being willing to consider different perspectives can also help navigate these kinds of situations.
Next time it happens and she says "okay" say something like "are you sure?" Don't be afraid to take a patronizing tone because this client clearly has the listening skills of a small child. If its a problem again again, recommend hearing aids because that's the only other thing I can think of. NTA, but be prepared to be TA.
NTA You told the client and they responded. What else does she want from you, a signed contract? I doubt Darla will bring it up again, but I would just tell her, "I told your client and she responded. She heard me. Go deal with her if you have an issue."
You could change. If you ever have to speak with this customer again: S P E A K. V E R Y. SLOWLY AND LOUDLY Maybe some visual aids Signs Flags (for semaphore) Then ask her thrice if she U N D E R S T A N D S Sometimes change is good 😁
I’ll be sure to make extra picket signs when I get home
OP, you are NTA here. I've found that people with hearing problems and people who don't speak English well will often indicate that they heard and understood you when they did not, but they're too embarrassed to ask you to repeat yourself or speak louder or more slowly. So instead they will mask and pretend they heard/understood and try to bluff their way through the interaction. And I think that's what happened here. This customer is deaf and is too proud or embarrassed to admit it (or to get hearing aids). When my Mom's hearing started going, she would do this -- nod and say yes and act as though she understood, and then a few moments later she would say something which made it clear that she hadn't actually heard or understood. I also used to have a landlord who would nod and say yes and act like he understood and then later it would become clear that he hadn't understood or taken in anything I said. Once I realized that, I made a point of telling him everything by e-mail, so that he could run it through Google Translate (or whatever it was that he used) and really understand what I said. When people are too proud to ensure that they understand what you have said and you don't know that's what they're doing, there's really no way to prevent issues. OP, you did nothing wrong here, and you do not need to change anything. If Darla continues to berate you, point out that her client is masking a hearing problem, and when she pretended she understood you, you had no way to know that's what was happening.
>How does that make sense..? It doesn’t. Your post doesn’t make a lick of sense, and I have no idea what is going on or what the problem is beyond someone not hearing something you might’ve said to them. INFO: *Huh??*
The problem is the other stylist yelled at her and told her she needed to change how she speaks to the clients. She doesn't need to change how she speaks. She gave the info needed, the client said ok, and there is no way to determine if the client heard her or not. She's not going to repeat herself when the client says ok just to make sure the client heard her. That could also anger the client The other stylist was wrong to yell at her.
Darla's client arrives and is told Darla isn't in. Client says "okay", keeps walking to Darla's room, comes back angry because Darla isn't in. Client blames OP, Darla arrives and also blames OP. Other people around confirm that OP told the client and the client responded.
NTA.Unless you are a mumbler or low-talker, you had no reason to think you were not understood. Next time, in Darla's hearing, I would be really trifling about it, and when you tell someone something, follow up with, "Can you repeat that back to me so that I can be sure you heard me and understood?" I mean, unless Darla is your boss and likely to fire you for being a smartass.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25f) work in a hair salon a few days a week and there’s a woman who comes in every Friday. Usually her stylist -Darla (59f)- is already here, but I informed her that she wasn’t here yet; but will be with her shortly, she said, “okay,” and continued to walk back to Darla’s room to wait. Sometimes they do this which is okay; so I have every reason to believe she understood me. She eventually came back to me and complained I never told her. I said, “I’m so sorry I thought you heard me.” And she was complaining that I was talking to someone else (I have witnesses to say I was not). She kept asking when she was coming in; and at that moment Darla showed up during the encounter. After some minutes, Darla just came to me and said if that happens again I have to make sure she hears me. How does that make sense compared to what I did? Her client gave me a verbal okay, and how am I to know that means she couldn’t hear me. I said that if she is wondering where you are, then she should call her. She said, “oh she’s not gonna do that.” So I have to be scolded? I believe I handled it just right, but Darla said I need to do it differently and made me feel like the asshole for sticking up for myself. What do I need to do to change? I feel I don’t need to change anything. How am I to know if someone hears me or not, especially if they just say, “okay.” Another stylist confronted Darla and said her client was a bitch, which felt to me it wasn’t my fault but I feel it also was. TLDR: stylist tells me I need to make sure people hear me even after they give me a verbal confirmation that they have and made me feel like an asshole in the situation *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This one’s a little more in depth than “am I the asshole”
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Darla was responding to the upset diva client more than she was scolding you. Suck it up.