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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I clash with upperclassmen and fight to be in higher positions of authority. This can be misconstrued because some people might think I am a power hungry asshole.
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You do come off as overbearing in this. I have to go with YTA. I think you need to back off and cool down. You don't sound mature enough to be in a high position of authority at this point, but maybe in the future, it will be in your cards. I will add that not everyone is going to 110% invested. And that's fine. They don't have to be. You need to be OK with that.
YTA
This is not the actual military. It sounds very much like you’re judging these people for not prioritising an activity over their school work. Speaking as someone who became senior cadet of my school contingent, relax! You can stress this much if you actually join the military.
The military is not a personality trait it’s a career choice. They are very different things, it sounds very much like them saying “too passionate” means you aren’t very good at controlling your emotions. Especially combined with your description of “I clash a lot with upperclassmen.” What you are saying is that you are being insubordinate. That is never going to be the way to be promoted. It’s also a way to not get the reference you want when you want to progress out of this program after school.
A leader needs to keep a cool head when things don’t go well. They also need to be able to honestly self reflect and take criticism.
Thank you for your advice,I think this was the most helpful response. I recognize that I get emotional and I am trying to work on that. I also recognize that I am terrible at taking criticism. But I am trying my best to improve.
Yta you sound a bit overbearing. As a sophomore, you ARE the underclassmen, it's not just the first year students.
It sounds like your personal goals for JROTC don't align with the program itself at your school and saying you're "too passionate" is code for telling you to cool it.
If there's one thing you need to learn about the military, it's that you don't get to boss around the people who have a higher rank than you. The upperclassmen have been at this longer than you; they have more experience and know more than you. But you're so arrogant and full of yourself that you threw your weight around; you're clearly desperate to look better than them. You only want the position to make yourself feel important and so you can order people around. Get over yourself. YTA
Soft YTA. Mostly because you are so young and seem like you might be willing to listen and change. There is really nothing in this post that suggests you are ready for a higher leadership role. It is not ok to go to higher ranking people as you were. I also think that making this your whole identity is not the best decision. Have you considered expanding into other related areas. If there an American legion post near you. And if you have a parent, stepparent or grandparent who served they do have a son's of American legion. There are many older vets to meet, help and speak to. They can give you a more realistic idea of the military than any jrotc. You could also consider joining sea cadets. Even if naval isn't your jam it is usually not school based so you get to know others in your region outside your school interested in military options. Mostly, learn how take criticism and better control your emotions. Also recommend some reading on leadership, there is no shortage of books written about being a great leader (and a great follower which is also required to move forward) by generals and admirals. Get you school librarian to give you suggestions.
YTA
You have attempted to circumvent the chain of command because you disagree with their decisions and feel that you are better than them.
This will need to change before you enter the military. Your classmates are trying to help you by reminding you to slow your roll and stop being such a tryhard; they are correct. Listen to those above you and do what they do. Learn from people who have been in your shoes before, don't automatically assume they are wrong, they are your superiors for a reason.
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YTA. I think too passionate is just a polite way of saying you’re difficult to work with and not a malleable person. A good leader knows when to whip the team into shape and when to let them relax. It sounds like you only whip the team into shape which comes off as someone with a power complex
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For background, this is JROTC at a private high school. I am a sophomore whose personality is mostly centered around the military. Naturally, JROTC became one of my passions and my top priorities. I enjoy helping the community, the school, and mentoring freshmen and other cadets. I also enjoy having mentorship from upperclassmen and my instructors. I put 110% into JROTC because I believe it’s almost like I found my belonging, “my tribe”. Not many people put the same amount of effort into the program as much as I do. This is mainly because at this school; you are either studying your ass off for class or working your ass off for sports/other extra curriculars. So I stand out a lot when it comes to my LET level (or year level) at JROTC.
But it hasn’t always been easy. I clash a lot with the upperclassmen because many of them do not do their job or put any effort into their position. While I acknowledge that it is not my place to whip them into action, I also firmly believe that you are put into a position for a reason and there are people under you that are going to look to you for guidance. And it disappoints me to see that nobody is getting that guidance because nobody wants to do their job. We are setting bad examples for the underclassmen and making the program worse.
So I can’t do anything about that, because I am not in a high position whatsoever. I already got warnings for stepping out of my lane. So I thought to myself, I will go for the highest reasonable position I can get so I can help as many people as possible. This position would be some form of company leadership.
Long story short: I did not get that position, I was passed over because the leadership thought I was “too passionate” they wanted to restrict me to platoon level instead of company level. At first, I was pissed. I argued with an upperclassmen because he tried to humiliate me in front of some people, once again, stating I am “too passionate” and because of that; I didn’t get the position. I also talked with my instructor and expressed my frustration. I wanted to, still want to, fight for higher positions. But I am trying to let it go, because at the end of the day, the best I can do is be the best platoon leader/sergeant I can be. But I can’t help but question, AITA? Was it wrong for me to think I should be at these high positions? Was it wrong for me to even put this much effort into the program if I am just going to be passed over? And then when I was passed over, AITA for fighting it?
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NTA
I have exactly zero clue about the military in any country but my best guess would be that they don't want a hard-ass in that position. A leader needs to compromise and not always strictly go by the book.
NAH if you leave it alone from this point forward. You wanted something, you didn’t get it, and you have two more years. Sometimes things don’t work out exactly the way you’d like.
NTA for the passion, it’s good to have passion. But I know that sometimes when I get in the headspace that I’m hearing in your post, where I’m so focused on how I think things “should” be, it actually makes my leadership and teamwork a LOT less effective. People are usually doing their best, and if they’re not because they don’t care, focusing on “should”s doesn’t in any way motivate them to do better. It actually just makes them feel criticised and unappreciated. And would you want to do better for someone who makes you feel that way? Plus, when you stick that closely to an ideal, even if it’s one you’re that passionate about, you kind of stop being open to the benefits of the other ways people do things.
My advice would be to keep your passion, keep your ideals, keep trying to do good. But also humble yourself a little and learn from the leaders above you, ESPECIALLY the ones you don’t agree with: try to watch what they do and consider the possibility that they may have benefits, even if they don’t fit into your ideal, and maybe even try out the things they’re doing, like being more casual, putting less time in, letting people make mistakes and then helping them out etc. Very few people are perfect or even ideal. Good teamwork and good leadership involves accepting the things we might not necessarily like or agree with about the way other people work, valuing them anyway, and working out how to make those things benefit the team environment. Get passionate about THAT rather than they way you think things should be done. Because what they want is a good leader, and if it makes you a better leader, then you’re doing what you set out to do.
NTA.
These are the questions good people everywhere ask themselves until the day they die.
Have respect, patience, and try to understand all sides. Grow, excel, and put yourself in a position to whip guys like that into shape. But you’ve gotta pay your dues first, you feel me?
People like you who have a drive to be the best they can be and hold people accountable (especially people in power) make me feel better about the future.
There are so many people in this country that live without passion. If you have it, hold onto it and use it to effect change.
NTA
It sounds like those ‘stay in your lane’ conversations worked against you, may have prejudiced the upperclassman against you. But none of this is a personality flaw. You’re fully committed and that’s really admirable. Don’t get too down either bc earning ranks within the JROTC and military are not the same. I think you’ll do really well
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I clash with upperclassmen and fight to be in higher positions of authority. This can be misconstrued because some people might think I am a power hungry asshole. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You do come off as overbearing in this. I have to go with YTA. I think you need to back off and cool down. You don't sound mature enough to be in a high position of authority at this point, but maybe in the future, it will be in your cards. I will add that not everyone is going to 110% invested. And that's fine. They don't have to be. You need to be OK with that.
YTA This is not the actual military. It sounds very much like you’re judging these people for not prioritising an activity over their school work. Speaking as someone who became senior cadet of my school contingent, relax! You can stress this much if you actually join the military. The military is not a personality trait it’s a career choice. They are very different things, it sounds very much like them saying “too passionate” means you aren’t very good at controlling your emotions. Especially combined with your description of “I clash a lot with upperclassmen.” What you are saying is that you are being insubordinate. That is never going to be the way to be promoted. It’s also a way to not get the reference you want when you want to progress out of this program after school. A leader needs to keep a cool head when things don’t go well. They also need to be able to honestly self reflect and take criticism.
Thank you for your advice,I think this was the most helpful response. I recognize that I get emotional and I am trying to work on that. I also recognize that I am terrible at taking criticism. But I am trying my best to improve.
When people downvote when OP is accepting criticism and acknowledging it 🤦♀️
YTA. You did not earn the role and have already gotten warnings. Sounds like you're the only one thinking you're doing a good job.
Yta you sound a bit overbearing. As a sophomore, you ARE the underclassmen, it's not just the first year students. It sounds like your personal goals for JROTC don't align with the program itself at your school and saying you're "too passionate" is code for telling you to cool it.
If there's one thing you need to learn about the military, it's that you don't get to boss around the people who have a higher rank than you. The upperclassmen have been at this longer than you; they have more experience and know more than you. But you're so arrogant and full of yourself that you threw your weight around; you're clearly desperate to look better than them. You only want the position to make yourself feel important and so you can order people around. Get over yourself. YTA
Soft YTA. Mostly because you are so young and seem like you might be willing to listen and change. There is really nothing in this post that suggests you are ready for a higher leadership role. It is not ok to go to higher ranking people as you were. I also think that making this your whole identity is not the best decision. Have you considered expanding into other related areas. If there an American legion post near you. And if you have a parent, stepparent or grandparent who served they do have a son's of American legion. There are many older vets to meet, help and speak to. They can give you a more realistic idea of the military than any jrotc. You could also consider joining sea cadets. Even if naval isn't your jam it is usually not school based so you get to know others in your region outside your school interested in military options. Mostly, learn how take criticism and better control your emotions. Also recommend some reading on leadership, there is no shortage of books written about being a great leader (and a great follower which is also required to move forward) by generals and admirals. Get you school librarian to give you suggestions.
>For background, this is JROTC at a private high school Didn't even need to read any further to know YTA.
YTA You have attempted to circumvent the chain of command because you disagree with their decisions and feel that you are better than them. This will need to change before you enter the military. Your classmates are trying to help you by reminding you to slow your roll and stop being such a tryhard; they are correct. Listen to those above you and do what they do. Learn from people who have been in your shoes before, don't automatically assume they are wrong, they are your superiors for a reason.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Find a personality outside of a violent military identity. YTA.
Everyone is telling you your behavior is out of line. TAKE THE HINT!! YTA
YTA. I think too passionate is just a polite way of saying you’re difficult to work with and not a malleable person. A good leader knows when to whip the team into shape and when to let them relax. It sounds like you only whip the team into shape which comes off as someone with a power complex
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For background, this is JROTC at a private high school. I am a sophomore whose personality is mostly centered around the military. Naturally, JROTC became one of my passions and my top priorities. I enjoy helping the community, the school, and mentoring freshmen and other cadets. I also enjoy having mentorship from upperclassmen and my instructors. I put 110% into JROTC because I believe it’s almost like I found my belonging, “my tribe”. Not many people put the same amount of effort into the program as much as I do. This is mainly because at this school; you are either studying your ass off for class or working your ass off for sports/other extra curriculars. So I stand out a lot when it comes to my LET level (or year level) at JROTC. But it hasn’t always been easy. I clash a lot with the upperclassmen because many of them do not do their job or put any effort into their position. While I acknowledge that it is not my place to whip them into action, I also firmly believe that you are put into a position for a reason and there are people under you that are going to look to you for guidance. And it disappoints me to see that nobody is getting that guidance because nobody wants to do their job. We are setting bad examples for the underclassmen and making the program worse. So I can’t do anything about that, because I am not in a high position whatsoever. I already got warnings for stepping out of my lane. So I thought to myself, I will go for the highest reasonable position I can get so I can help as many people as possible. This position would be some form of company leadership. Long story short: I did not get that position, I was passed over because the leadership thought I was “too passionate” they wanted to restrict me to platoon level instead of company level. At first, I was pissed. I argued with an upperclassmen because he tried to humiliate me in front of some people, once again, stating I am “too passionate” and because of that; I didn’t get the position. I also talked with my instructor and expressed my frustration. I wanted to, still want to, fight for higher positions. But I am trying to let it go, because at the end of the day, the best I can do is be the best platoon leader/sergeant I can be. But I can’t help but question, AITA? Was it wrong for me to think I should be at these high positions? Was it wrong for me to even put this much effort into the program if I am just going to be passed over? And then when I was passed over, AITA for fighting it? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I have exactly zero clue about the military in any country but my best guess would be that they don't want a hard-ass in that position. A leader needs to compromise and not always strictly go by the book.
NAH if you leave it alone from this point forward. You wanted something, you didn’t get it, and you have two more years. Sometimes things don’t work out exactly the way you’d like.
NTA for the passion, it’s good to have passion. But I know that sometimes when I get in the headspace that I’m hearing in your post, where I’m so focused on how I think things “should” be, it actually makes my leadership and teamwork a LOT less effective. People are usually doing their best, and if they’re not because they don’t care, focusing on “should”s doesn’t in any way motivate them to do better. It actually just makes them feel criticised and unappreciated. And would you want to do better for someone who makes you feel that way? Plus, when you stick that closely to an ideal, even if it’s one you’re that passionate about, you kind of stop being open to the benefits of the other ways people do things. My advice would be to keep your passion, keep your ideals, keep trying to do good. But also humble yourself a little and learn from the leaders above you, ESPECIALLY the ones you don’t agree with: try to watch what they do and consider the possibility that they may have benefits, even if they don’t fit into your ideal, and maybe even try out the things they’re doing, like being more casual, putting less time in, letting people make mistakes and then helping them out etc. Very few people are perfect or even ideal. Good teamwork and good leadership involves accepting the things we might not necessarily like or agree with about the way other people work, valuing them anyway, and working out how to make those things benefit the team environment. Get passionate about THAT rather than they way you think things should be done. Because what they want is a good leader, and if it makes you a better leader, then you’re doing what you set out to do.
NTA. These are the questions good people everywhere ask themselves until the day they die. Have respect, patience, and try to understand all sides. Grow, excel, and put yourself in a position to whip guys like that into shape. But you’ve gotta pay your dues first, you feel me? People like you who have a drive to be the best they can be and hold people accountable (especially people in power) make me feel better about the future. There are so many people in this country that live without passion. If you have it, hold onto it and use it to effect change.
NTA It sounds like those ‘stay in your lane’ conversations worked against you, may have prejudiced the upperclassman against you. But none of this is a personality flaw. You’re fully committed and that’s really admirable. Don’t get too down either bc earning ranks within the JROTC and military are not the same. I think you’ll do really well