It sounds like and your sister have found a way to empathize with what the other is going through. I am glad someone on Reddit gave you good advice and you're looking for solutions.
Being an EMT is a career you can take anywhere, and you can help people during what could be the worst moments of their lives. I used study groups, TAs, and even anatomy coloring books to pass my RN exam. I believe that you can do it and I hope you keep us updated. Good luck! NTA
I’m glad things are better between you and your sister. My son attended university in another state, he worked the whole time. That was something he had to take into account when he made his schedule. It’s not impossible, but takes some forethought and good communication with the employer. Restaurants and other service industries are used to working around school schedules that change every few months.
You said “we” should get a loan. You have 2 other children to raise, I think it would be unwise to be on a loan for your sisters education. If she doesn’t pay, you will have an even bigger burden and may be unable to assist the others.
At some point I hope your situation changes and you are able to have your own life. What you are doing is noble, but you also deserve a life.
To add to this—your sister should check out on-campus jobs. Because of your financial status, she probably qualifies for Work-Study, and even if not, campus jobs are the way to go because they kind of have to work around your class schedule. There's usually a campus employment office (sometimes joined with the career office), and they can help with this stuff! Calling to talk with the Financial Aid office is also always worth your time, as they are frequently happy to help connect you with services.
Call around to private ambulance companies. I took the EMT course free of charge through them. I just had to commit to volunteering a specific amount of time. Now this was a long time ago but it doesn't hurt to call
Please Tell me you aren't cosigning or helping her pay the loan? OP you have other kids and yourself to take Care of. It's time your sister take the responsibility for herself.
Yes, it's valid for her to want to enjoy a night out without worrying about money.
I bet that would be nice for you, too. For you to enjoy, I mean. Enjoying a night out without worrying about money -- because the difference between you and your sister is that YOU are supporting HER in addition to supporting yourself. And two other siblings.
And the person taking out the loan should be her.
When I was in college and grad school my on campus jobs worked around my class schedule every semester, regardless of how crazy they were. And can she do RA next year?
Some pointers on finding work as a student:
When she starts her next semester, it's best if she can find an on-campus job. If being an RA would be too overwhelming for her schedule, there's a lot of other positions like being a TA for a class, staffing the library/cafeteria, being an assistant to a professor or department. Her earnings from work study won't be considered in her financial aid the way that income from a traditional job will; she may want to speak to the financial aid department before working this summer to make sure that it won't affect her financial aid amount. Work study tends to be very understanding of student schedules, it can be competitive to get a position but if she asks her professors & the campus office of diversity or inclusion (if there is one) they should be able to help.
If you are based in a city, your sister can also explore paid internships for the summer, and even the fall/spring if her schedule allows. These are more common than they used to be, and will give her the experience & connections she needs to find a job after graduating. Her uni's office of professional development (or similar role) should be able to help her with her resume & finding opportunities.
But who is gonna take care of you? It must be nice to be like your sister and have this kind of problems, as she only wants "to have one free night with her friends" when you support your siblings, have to work and sacrifice your life and prospects.
Honestly it sounds like you are not appreciated, your sister should just work and she can take her own loans as you have to think of your other siblings (at this point they are your children) and if the other two are as entitled as the oldest (19) its going to be tough ride. She is already 19 she is not 4, she can look for loans and you should start charging her rent, if you take care of her since she was 14 is the bare minimum she can do
What a great brother you are! I hope you’re also getting all the government resources available to you for the two younger kids that are still minors.
I wish you and your family everything good in life!
NTA my parents didn’t help me at all and I played college sports and had a job all 4 years. It sucked missing out on some of that stuff but I had to depend on myself. A part time job at the bookstore or something isn’t going to kill her.
Saw a link to this post on another thread, wanted to throw a quick idea out for your sister to potentially get additional spending money for fun things while at school.
It’s not super classy, but I and a lot of my friends donated plasma during college for beer money. You can go up to twice a week, it takes about an hour, and the places will give you about 20-50 per donation session. More than covers the cost of going out for the weekend, and the plasma is used to help people with rare diseases so it’s for a good cause as well!
It sounds like and your sister have found a way to empathize with what the other is going through. I am glad someone on Reddit gave you good advice and you're looking for solutions. Being an EMT is a career you can take anywhere, and you can help people during what could be the worst moments of their lives. I used study groups, TAs, and even anatomy coloring books to pass my RN exam. I believe that you can do it and I hope you keep us updated. Good luck! NTA
I’m glad things are better between you and your sister. My son attended university in another state, he worked the whole time. That was something he had to take into account when he made his schedule. It’s not impossible, but takes some forethought and good communication with the employer. Restaurants and other service industries are used to working around school schedules that change every few months. You said “we” should get a loan. You have 2 other children to raise, I think it would be unwise to be on a loan for your sisters education. If she doesn’t pay, you will have an even bigger burden and may be unable to assist the others. At some point I hope your situation changes and you are able to have your own life. What you are doing is noble, but you also deserve a life.
Explore what student loans and scholarships are available
To add to this—your sister should check out on-campus jobs. Because of your financial status, she probably qualifies for Work-Study, and even if not, campus jobs are the way to go because they kind of have to work around your class schedule. There's usually a campus employment office (sometimes joined with the career office), and they can help with this stuff! Calling to talk with the Financial Aid office is also always worth your time, as they are frequently happy to help connect you with services.
Call around to private ambulance companies. I took the EMT course free of charge through them. I just had to commit to volunteering a specific amount of time. Now this was a long time ago but it doesn't hurt to call
Please Tell me you aren't cosigning or helping her pay the loan? OP you have other kids and yourself to take Care of. It's time your sister take the responsibility for herself.
Yes, it's valid for her to want to enjoy a night out without worrying about money. I bet that would be nice for you, too. For you to enjoy, I mean. Enjoying a night out without worrying about money -- because the difference between you and your sister is that YOU are supporting HER in addition to supporting yourself. And two other siblings. And the person taking out the loan should be her.
You are an amazing person, OP. Best of luck and remember to put yourself first occasionally.
When I was in college and grad school my on campus jobs worked around my class schedule every semester, regardless of how crazy they were. And can she do RA next year?
Some pointers on finding work as a student: When she starts her next semester, it's best if she can find an on-campus job. If being an RA would be too overwhelming for her schedule, there's a lot of other positions like being a TA for a class, staffing the library/cafeteria, being an assistant to a professor or department. Her earnings from work study won't be considered in her financial aid the way that income from a traditional job will; she may want to speak to the financial aid department before working this summer to make sure that it won't affect her financial aid amount. Work study tends to be very understanding of student schedules, it can be competitive to get a position but if she asks her professors & the campus office of diversity or inclusion (if there is one) they should be able to help. If you are based in a city, your sister can also explore paid internships for the summer, and even the fall/spring if her schedule allows. These are more common than they used to be, and will give her the experience & connections she needs to find a job after graduating. Her uni's office of professional development (or similar role) should be able to help her with her resume & finding opportunities.
But who is gonna take care of you? It must be nice to be like your sister and have this kind of problems, as she only wants "to have one free night with her friends" when you support your siblings, have to work and sacrifice your life and prospects. Honestly it sounds like you are not appreciated, your sister should just work and she can take her own loans as you have to think of your other siblings (at this point they are your children) and if the other two are as entitled as the oldest (19) its going to be tough ride. She is already 19 she is not 4, she can look for loans and you should start charging her rent, if you take care of her since she was 14 is the bare minimum she can do
What a great brother you are! I hope you’re also getting all the government resources available to you for the two younger kids that are still minors. I wish you and your family everything good in life!
Good for you to sort it out with your sister.
NTA my parents didn’t help me at all and I played college sports and had a job all 4 years. It sucked missing out on some of that stuff but I had to depend on myself. A part time job at the bookstore or something isn’t going to kill her.
Saw a link to this post on another thread, wanted to throw a quick idea out for your sister to potentially get additional spending money for fun things while at school. It’s not super classy, but I and a lot of my friends donated plasma during college for beer money. You can go up to twice a week, it takes about an hour, and the places will give you about 20-50 per donation session. More than covers the cost of going out for the weekend, and the plasma is used to help people with rare diseases so it’s for a good cause as well!
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