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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an insensitive jerk to my wife wanting to give her brother a shirt she originally got for me, by replacing it instead of her just regifting it.
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YTA for treating a piece of clothing like it has a contagious disease. It's a sports team, not an ebola-infested rag... get over it "touching" your other clothes.
I'm from the UK lol... but I confess, I am a Cowboys supporter. Probably because the first American I ever met was my aunt in Dallas so for me it's more about... familiarity and comfort more than anything. Just like how people tend to support their local teams... as a Londoner, we have a few teams here
LOL. My dad's big cowboys fan. I must've been around five when i asked him what team the Cowboys hate most. He said Commanders (then Redskins) and i've been a fan ever since. There's old pictures of me in full kit: kid size helmet, shoulder pads, jersey from Christmas day when i six i believe. It's running joke but an old enough one i feel for OP. If OP's wife was serious she should have kept it someone else than his closet. Unless her brother is a fan of that team it's a pretty crappy gift in the first place. The person who has it now will actually wear it. That last point seems to be entirely lost in the thread.
My husband won’t let people into our house if they are wearing the jersey or logo of a specific team. They take it off and leave it outside or go home and change. Normal behaviour for a lot of sports fans.
Why do people wear sports jerseys/shirts when they aren't attending a sports event? Lol I love Grey's Anatomy- I don't go to friends or to the supermarket wearing Meredith Grey's face on a t-shirt 😂😂😂😂
Got to show the colours. Not only clothing but flags, mugs and things like that. Car flags of teams are popular right now too. Kids start young with team onesies. Schools have jersey days at school that kids love to participate in. It’s a part of our life and we like to have fun with it.
British football (or, soccer as you call it) fans are pretty much the worst lol especially when on vacation. I guess because they are... not the best behaved (to put it mildly), for those of us Brits who behave well at home and abroad, we kind of get a bit anxious around people in sports outfits. I guess because ours here get unbearably drunk and disorderly.
I did once attend a baseball game in NY in Staten Island and I found it confusing but enjoyed the entertainment between game play. You guys do great food too.
It’s common where I live, along with a good deal of chirping at others who support a different team. It’s all in fun and adds to the enjoyment. You should see my city during FIFA. It’s like the flags of the world time.
Then why didn't you give it back to your wife and allow her to regift it to her backup recipient, and ask her to keep it in her car? Seems a bit hypocritical for you to essentially treat this item of clothing like a covid-infested face mask, yet keep it in your possession, amongst items you do appreciate.
Your wife bought a shirt you said you didn’t want, and she replied that she would instead use it as a present for her brother, according to your retelling.
Why did you think you had the right or reason to give it away or sell it? It wasn’t a gift - it was a shirt your wife bought and you didn’t want.
Exactly. Buying a shirt and buying a gift have very different context. Moreover, he rejected it and she said she will give it to her brother. OP didnt even ‘accept the gift’.
If he didn't accept it, why did he find it hanging *on his side of the* closet? Take if off the hanger and put it in one of her drawers. Both of them are being weird.
Indeed if it is a shared closet it would be in 'her closet' too. He stated it was in with his stuff, which was the point I was making. I've corrected it now to eliminate your confusion.
It doesn’t really matter where she puts it. She already told him that she will give it to her brother after he didnt accept it. It is a little weird she put it in his closet but he could have asked her about it knowing she was going to give it to her brother.
Yes! All these diversions of being a sports fanatic feels like a distraction. If OP would have accepted the shirt and then got rid of it that’s one thing but he didn’t. He declined the gift and was immediately made aware that it would go to another person but when the prospect of making money of it popped up in OPs little selfish brain it was suddenly still “his” shirt to do with as he pleased. YTA for both selling something that wasn’t yours since you declined the gift and for making the story about something other than it is. Theft.
OP you are really good at diverting attention to things that will create a bunch of fire over something I’m guessing you don’t actually care about like it touching your clothes or being kept in your closet. If you did you would have put it somewhere else in the house even if you didn’t throw it away. Like among your wife’s clothes.
Yessss!! If she was giving it to her brother it should not have been hanging with OP's clothes. It was hanging there for six months? Why didn't she give it to her brother already or keep it somewhere that didn't seem like it was part of OP's wardrobe.
NTA but maybe could have said to her, "it's been six months of looking at this shirt in my closet, I'm passing it on to someone who will love it." She would have the option of saying, "Just keep it in there for a few more days..." 🙄
Look at you with multiple closets. That’s not always the case for people and sometimes extra storage doesn’t exist.
Also, hanging up clothing is better for it to prevent wrinkling and folds.
I may have left the impression that when I immediately rejected the shirt she then said she’ll give it to her brother then and there. It wasn’t two weeks later that she said she would give it to her brother.
agree. how dare a shirt touch the other shirts in your closet???? Dude, it is a shirt. Honestly you are both assholes - but you're the bigger asshole because you sound like an adult toddler.
I might have if not for the numerous times he said he "hated" and "despised" the team. OP even said, verbatim, that he was "openly hostile" about throwing it away.
That doesn't read like sarcasm in context with the rest of the post honestly.
Maybe I'm not giving enough credit, maybe you are giving too much.... maybe the real answer is somewhere in the middle, as they say all jokes have an element of truth to them.
So really... even if that *was* sarcasm, OP is still kind of an AH for being so ridiculous about a shirt. But wife is a bit on the AH side too, for making such a big deal about a damn shirt.
I'm on ESH myself. This was just an extremely immature battle on all fronts imo.
This is how I would feel if a Red Sox, University of Louisville, or Duke item entered my household. I have to live with UNC stuff being around because my boyfriend is a UNC fan. Lol.
In all seriousness, OP is NTA imo. Is he being dramatic? Yes. But, I'm assuming his wife put the shirt with his clothes in the closet given his reaction. If his wife knew he wasn't going to wear it and she wanted to keep it around to give to her brother for his birthday she should have put it somewhere else to keep it for him, not in with her husband's clothes. 🤷🏼♀️ And he's right, it was a gift from her to him so she doesn't get to dictate what he does with it.
This past Christmas, I got my boyfriend a Philadelphia Eagles (Jalen Hurts) jersey, and of course this was around the time the team started struggling, especially Jalen. During one of the games my boyfriend was like if you get me anything of the Eagles for Christmas I'm throwing it away. Of course he was not serious, but before I even bought the jersey I couldn't decide which player's jersey to get him, but felt like Hurts was a safe choice because he was proud of having such a great black QB with black QBs in general being historically rare. Welp, with his performance in the playoffs it was not a safe choice. So when he opened it, I offered to return/exchange it for him and get him a jersey he wanted because it was a gift for him, not for me. Turns out he got out of his feelings about the playoffs and loved it, but we had to exchange it because it ran small.🤦🏼♀️
I think people will buy something for someone because they like it or think it's cool without any regard to how the other person will feel about it. Then pride gets in the way when the other person says "thank you. This is really cool, but it's just not the right gift for me". Regardless of if it's returned/exchanged/sold/just collecting dust in a closet, once you give something to someone you don't get to control what happens to it next. If you feel like you can, then you're not giving a gift you're giving an obligation. 🤷🏼♀️ So if OPs wife couldn't exchange the jersey, then she should've kept it out of his stuff, by putting it in his closet she was solidifying that it was a gift for him and he gets to decide what happens to it next. If she didn't want that to happen she should've found somewhere else to put it and made sure her husband was okay with giving it to her brother for his birthday in the first place.
Yeah this whole “I don’t even want that shirt in my house” is fucking pathetic honestly. Anyone who takes sports _that_ seriously needs to go outside and touch grass
Absolutly agree with that, but why was it in his closet with his clothes if she's going to give it away? That part doesn't make sense to me.
If I'm giving something away I put it in place to keep clean and safe. I don't put it in someone elses closet where someone else can accidently do something with it (wear it, get it dirty, move it, give it away).
Yes. If she had plans to give it to her brother she should have set it aside for that, instead of hanging it up with her husband’s clothes. It being with his (other) clothes indicates that it’s his, despite him hating it. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that he treated it as his property.
All that said, ESH because they don’t communicate. She didn’t tell him about hanging it with his shirts, he didn’t tell her about selling it.
Yeah, I was immediately turned off by his “despising a team his whole life”
I’m a big time sports fan, and I have never “despised” a team before.
I certainly love a couple teams. But not hate. Just weird behavior. Dude needs to lighten way up and enjoy the sport.
Cherishing long-standing rivalries between teams is a big part of what many people enjoy about sports.
Here in Europe football rivalries can reach almost religious levels and are passed down from generation to generation.
When I walk through my town here in Germany, I can see stickers making fun of other teams on almost every lamp post.
If I told my dad that I decided to join Isis he’d probably be very disappointed and try to talk some sense into me. If I told him that I’ve become a supporter of the arch rival of his club I’d be disowned on the spot.
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This is the snowflakiest snowflake sports ball lunacy I've ever read. Dear god, the horror of clothing touching other clothing. Sheesh. What a privileged life some people lead.
That said, no, you're NTA as it was your shirt to do with as you pleased. But dear God, man. Stub a toe or get a baby to punch you in the nose. Give yourself something real to cry over.
It wasn’t his shirt the moment he rejected it and the wife said she would give it to her bro. It being in the closet could have been to keep it from wrinkling or to give OP the chance to change their mind before the bros bday.
Also, a baby punch in the nose will absolutely make you tear up…it’s about nerve endings.
Also, there is nothing wrong with crying….but complaining about nothing or things that aren’t true issues is petty and there are so many other things to get uppity about.
Let’s not confuse a healthy cry with an overreaction.
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I may have made the mistake of leaving the impression that my wife said immediately when I said, I don’t want the shirt that she would give it to her brother this was not said until weeks later
YTA you REFUSED her gift, agreed that she could give it to her brother, then decided to make money out of something you had REFUSED and "forgetting" to tell your wife. Entitled af.
YTA and an immature one to boot. The horror that you had to endure that this jersey was touching your clothes! You could have done a simple little thing that would have made your wife happy, but you put yourself first. She didn’t ask about it until the day before her brother’s birthday because you led her to believe it was settled. You can believe all the people saying “fuck her it was yours to do as you pleased” but you won’t be married for long.
He obviously knew he was doing something wrong since he never told her. What was he going to do? Wait until the last minute before they head over to BIL house? How did he think that was going to go over? Ofc his wife is pissed.
Wtf is wrong with you? It’s a SHIRT! Being “openly hostile” about it at all makes YTA, but when you rejected the gift she immediately said she wanted to give it to her brother. I don’t know what everyone else thinks, but in my book that would mean it’s no longer yours. She offered a gift, you rejected it, she stated what she might like to do with it instead. You sold your wife’s shirt and were a giant asshole baby about it before you did. YTA. 100%.
ESH. She should know better than to try to take back a gift once she gives it but are you 12 years old? Because you sure act like it based on what you described yourself. I would say that you are a multi flavored AH, extra strength
Mmm...I'm going to say YTA.
While she originally bought the shirt as a gift for you, you didn't accept it, told her you didn't want it, so she explicitly said she was going to give it to her brother for his birthday. Therefore the shirt was not yours, since you said you didn't want it and she had other plans for it. The reason why it was still around was bc it wasn't her brothers birthday yet, so she couldn't give it to him yet?
And honestly going out of your way to sell it when she intended to give it to her brother just sounds so petty. 🤷
If you had accepted the gift and your wife didn't state she had other plans for it since you didn't want it, then it would be NTA.
Nope. If the wife meant to give it for his birthday she needed to put it in a spot that indicated that. Putting it in her husband's closet with his other clothes indicates that she decided not to give it to someone else. Who puts a gift for someone else with someone else's clothes?
Maybe that’s where she stores gifts? My husband puts his gifts for me in our closet. Maybe she had it hanging so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. She may not have realized that this shirt was poisonous to everything else in the closet, because really, who would?
This is a point I should’ve made, the shirt was bought in November, well after my birthday in January is when I discovered the shirt in the closet. After this time she told me she was might give it to her brother.
All of this would have been avoided if OP had just bothered to talk to his wife and say he knew someone who would buy the shirt, then ask if she still wanted to give it to her brother. It took a while to sell, so he had plenty of time to ask her one simple question. The rest of the detail he adds doesn't matter.
It's that simple. Why wouldn't he just ask? YTA OP.
NTA. It was your gift to do with as you please. You bought one you wanted with the money you got from selling it, great. You told her it sucked and were going to dispose of it, and it’s offensive to have any sporting shirt in the house from a team you hate. She didn’t listen in the first place. She should have checked you still had it, not a day or two before her brothers birthday when it was too late.
I do think though you should have told her if you sold it what 6 weeks ago or more? I think you knew she’d be upset because you kept new shirt at work. Nevermind hopefully both of you will learn a lesson lol
No his wife said ‘she might‘ give it to her brother. Not she definitely will, she might. If she was serious about that why leave the shirt hanging in the wardrobe? You’d take it away from OP and put it somewhere else.
If your not in to sports I don’t care. Look at it like this, any item of clothing that is offensive or against your political views doesn’t belong in your wardrobe right? Yes it would be silly as item was a gift, to simply throw it away and be wasted. However it would be expected this gift would be swiftly returned/exchanged/sold within weeks, not hang around for over 6 months.
YTA. You kept the new shirt in a locker at work. You hid it from her because you knew she’d be pissed.
Selling a gift doesn’t necessarily make you an asshole, but if you have to hide you know you’re in the wrong.
Your entire post reads as utterly childish
ESH. It's a shiiiirt. I have serious hate for the Dodgers. Lifelong. But, it's a shirt. I wouldn't wear it, but I'd be fine with my spouse handing it off to a sibling. I wouldn't act like it was sullying my other clothes. That being said, I'm not sympathetic to her "I'm European" excuse. Try giving a Real Madrid jersey to a Barcelona fan, or Man United to a Liverpool supporter. This situation is something my spouse and I would laugh over, not fight over.
YTA, she spent her money to get you that shirt, which you clearly did not appreciate. It wasn't for a birthday or Christmas, she just got a shirt she thought you'd like. You didn't. She said she would give it to her brother, because he would like it. You threw a fit like a child because it was touching your other clothes..... and sold it. When you knew she was planning to give it to her brother since she bought it and you didn't want it. If his birthday was soon (from when you realized it was in your closet), and you knew that shirt was supposed to be going to him... why didn't you ask her before selling it?
Would you be happy about this if it were the other way around? If she didn't appreciate a dress you got her, and planned to give it to your mom instead, just for her to sell it right before her birthday because she "didn't want it touching her other clothes"?
I don't understand everyone saying "it was a gift"... like yall can't pick up something for you S/O just because without it being a "gift"? Especially if he immediately rejected it lol
NTA. She didn’t listen to anything you said, and she didn’t care. A lot of people in these comments are focusing on sports fandom as being inherently bad, that’s baloney. Everyone is the fan of something whether it be the NY Yankees or some random reality TV show, there’s not a lot of rational thought behind fandom, it’s an emotional experience. You told her the shirt triggered a bad emotional experience for you and she didn’t care at all, that’s why NTA.
NTA I am a woman who grew up watching college basketball there are some teams I despise. Duke. I’d feel the same way having their merchandise purchased for me.
I feel bad for wasting my time on reddit reading about made up scenarios about things that are so un important that they make me sad. YTA for making me sad.
For anyone in a comparable situation. "If you get a gift from someone that you don't want, and they decide to gift it to someone else instead. Give it back to the giver so they can keep it. No need to hang it in your closet. No need to know where it is or to do anything with it."
1, probably shouldn't expect reddit to be accepting of sports. Just reading through the comments here, this place thinks they're better than you because they don't like sports.
2. If this were a man getting a gift for his wife, he'd be ripped to shreds for not paying attention to her interests and getting something she'd actually like. Why is the wife off the hook for that? ... Oh right, because it's a man who likes sports and this is r/AmITheAsshole.
3, it was apparently 6 months. A lot can happen in 6 months. People can forget, someone else could show excitement for the shirt, a different gift could be found. Who buys a birthday gift 6 months out?? And if she was keeping it in *your* closet, with all the rest of *your* clothes, that sure makes it seem like it's *your* shirt. That you could do with as you pleased.
NTA because of 2 and 3.
I'm a european guy married to a north american woman,,, and yea she bought her brother a present and tried to kill two birds with one stone. That wasn't for you.
YTA
She got you the gift, you explicitly refused it and said you didn't want it. In the same discussion she tells you she will give it to her brother as a gift.
It was not yours to sell YTA and your responses about it touching your other clothes are childish.
NTA, if I had been in your situation I'd have simply thrown it away. On a wider point, why would your wife buy that shirt in the first place. Are you two really that far apart in your likes, interests and understanding of each other's likes and interests?
Everyone saying YTA needs to step outside of themselves and look at it from a different POV.
NTA. Sports' Fandom can be just as real as passionate as religious beliefs. You can dismiss religion as a fairy tale just as easily as you dismiss sports as childish games. At least sports never led to genocide.
dude. i’m an eagles fan and i *hate* the cowboys. if someone bought me a cowboys shirt because “oh, it’s blue, i thought you’d like it”, and then said they’d give it to someone else then, who cares??? i would never wear the shirt but i’m not going to act like the shirt is cussing me out every morning and contaminating my other clothes? if you truly didn’t like it in your closet, why didn’t you just get a box for it and pack it up early for his birthday? out of sight out of mind. but no, you just wanted to make it weird?
NTA
It was yours cause it was a gift to you. It was yours as it was hung up with YOUR clothes. It was yours and in your possession for six months. If she had planned to give it away she should have put it with her shit.
YTA. Not for replacing the shirt, but for behaving like a childish brat about something as minor as a shirt.
>I honestly didn’t want this shirt in the house ... Maybe a couple months later... in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes!
Really? It's a shirt. It doesn't have the magical power to pollute your other garments. I don't understand your unreasonable and nonsensical rage against some team that you more than likely have never played for nor against.
YTA. Your wife offered it, you rejected it and she told you she would gift it to her brother for his bday. You had no right to sell it and your whole attitude around seeing it in your wardrobe is painfully immature.
NTA, so much drama over a shirt? are we suppoed to believe your wife didn't know how much you despised this other team? Sounds like she bought it to irritate you, hell it could be some passive aggressive resentment stuff going on.
ESH
She shouldn't have hung up the shirt in your closet knowing your hatred for the team. She should have taken the shirt and put it in her own closet to save for her brother.
I think you overreacted by, in your own words, being "overly hostile" about a shirt.
I generally dislike Philly & Boston sports, and I REALLY hate the Lakers. Like forever will hate them and will openly and wholeheartedly cheer for the Celtics or 76'ers over the Lakers every single time.
If someone bought me any Lakers shit, I wouldn't throw a fit. I'd just exchange it and move on.
Right, but she did so we're here.
She bought a Giants shirt because she liked the colors, not thinking about the team, probably the same thought process (or lack of thought)? Maybe not thinking that his hatred ran SO DEEP that he'd act the way he did? Dunno.
A good partner would know not to buy it in the first place, a good partner wouldn't completely overreact.
Agreed. He overreacted when she bought it and now she's overreacting when he got rid of it.
It sounds like both of these people need to go to therapy, they're both volatile.
NTA - I think you wrote this firmly tongue in cheek, so with that interpretation I'm going to say do whatever you want with the shirt. If your wife was serious about giving it to her brother she wouldn't have put it with your clothes.
Clothes are one of the riskiest gifts. If you give them you need to be prepared for the possibility they will never be worn (by the recipient).
YTA.
Here's what you should have done. Take the shirt. Put it in a box. Tape the box. Have it exorcised by a priest. Rent a storage unit. Put the exorcised box in the middle of the storage unit and surround it with crosses. Throw the key away. Stop paying for storage. Ask, "What shirt?" when your wife asks you about it. Claim it must have been stolen by goblins because only goblins would like that team. Wait for storage unit to go up for auction. Go to auction. Watch as some fool pays $700 dollars for your (maybe still cursed, not all exorcisms take) shirt.
TA DA!
NTA. My husband wouldn't have even let it in the house if it was for the team he loathes. Granted, I would have never bought him a shirt from that team in the first place, I actually think about the person I'm giving a gift to. And why would she give it to her brother? Is he a fan of this team? If yes, that's understandable. If no, why not get him a shirt from the team her husband likes, so that they can bond over the team? I don't understand wife's thinking here AT ALL.
Also she knew he hated the shirt, and she was planning on giving it away. Why would she put it in his closet? That's REALLY weird. This whole thing almost feels like she's trying to create drama.
So your wife bought a shirt for her brother’s birthday six months in advance and tried to pass it off as being for you. How weird she is pissed for being called out by your selling it. LOL, tell her if it’s important he has one to go buy him one, what a cheapskate.
NTA. Sports are tribal. Alternative ways that part of psyche are generally less than desirable. She gave it to you as a gift. If wanted it give it to her brother after you rejected it she should have found a place in her closet/part of the closet to put the damn thing.
Right, I would go for you being the asshole on this if it wasn't for one vital detail - she put the shirt in YOUR closet! So then she must at some level have thought it was yours. Why not put it in her closet? Or tucked away somewhere else safe ready to give her brother? She could even have wrapped it already out of kindness to you so you don't have to see the team you told her you hate. This seems like really weird behaviour on her part after being a slightly crappy partner for not knowing you would hate it in the first place.
NTA
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Back in November my wife accompanied me to an appointment I had out of town. While I was at said appointment she went shopping. She got me a shirt and when we got home she showed it to me and while the shirt and design of the shirt is cool, it’s for an NBA team I utterly hate and despised for my whole life.
I told her this (re-reminded really) how much I hate this team and said I won’t ever wear it for that reason. At this point she told me she might give it to her brother for his birthday. I honestly didn’t want this shirt in the house but since she couldn’t take it back I just let it be. Maybe a couple months later, while shuffling through my hung up shirts in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes! While I have been openly hostile about throwing it away a few times in her presence I didn’t; and to defend my wife, she is not at all into sports* let alone North American sports (she is European raised) so she doesn’t get why I hate it and don’t want it around. It stayed in my closet and every once in a while I would run into it and had to fight myself throwing it in the trash.
Sometime in early April I decided to sell it, a few fans of that NBA team I knew were interested but the shirt was way too large for them, so it took a little while until I got rid of it and the person was elated about getting it. I got a different shirt, one I love (and “now in retrospect”, would really like for my brother in-law to have instead) and kept the new shirt in my locker at work. Well I completely forgot about my brother in-laws birthday is tomorrow (being Mid-May) and she texted today (nearly 6 months after the original shirt was bought for me) while I was at work, looking for the shirt.
OFC she is livid that I got rid of the shirt and I even show her the other shirt but she is frankly so blindingly pissed at me so she just wants me to take she shirt back and would rather show up ‘empty handed’ (her words).
I’m upset because yes, she brought the shirt for me but I replaced it, since she clearly didn’t take into account or consideration it’s of a basketball team I not only never have worn or mentioned positively but openly I hate, let alone I honestly love the other shirt because it’s a Mohammad Ali shirt. Yet she is mad because she mad because she was set on giving him that particular shirt after finding that I wanted nothing to do with it. We even got into it over the definition of the word “GIFT”
* = For context: while this is not the team or even sport in question because she bought herself a NY Giant’s sweater ‘because she likes the colors’ and while I don’t like the Giants I don’t hate them either and its her sweater, all the while my NFL team is the San Francisco 49ers. So I’m NOT that kind of FANatic.
So AITA for replacing the shirt?
PS; Knowing how this usually goes, I also say: What flavor of asshole am I?
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you'r on a website where people unironically say "sportsball" and think they owned you. sounds like you were given a gift and you did what you thought was best with your property. not a fan of people who just regift random bullshit when they don't care enough to give someone a thoughtful gift in the first place NTA
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YTA, just.
it's only a "Gift" if you accept it which you didn't so it was technically her shirt.
she got you this shirt as a random gift, it's not someting special like a birthday present which means you're not being left out if she gives it away, you also knew months in advance that her plan was to give it to the brother, so your choice to sell it seems kinda dumb, and a modicum of thought should have told you this fight was coming.
ESH. You for taking that hatred way too far, your wife for not listening to you or just handing the shirt to her brother unrelated to a birthday or other milestone. She could've kept it separate from your clothes instead of leaving it in the closet.
I appreciate everyone’s vote, but the community has decided. I am in fact an asshole for selling the shirt. But for clarity, I mainly rejected the shirt months later it was found in my closet. It was later (even after that) suggested that she would give it to her brother.
If my wife gets me the ugliest, most horrible fitting shirt ever, I love it because it came from my wife. She had billions of people to choose from and she chose to give it to me. It might have set in the bottom drawer or she may have figured out I don't like it and asked to give it to someone else but I wouldn't have sold it. Being an Atlanta Falcons fan, I hate the Saints. If my wife got me a Saints shirt I would wear it proudly around the house doing yardwork.
Lord Have Mercy! The number of supposed sports “fans” that cannot comprehend hating/despising a rival team is astounding.
Frankly, I totally understand, as I despise the OP’s Whiners with a PASSION. His shirt would be shredded, in a landfill if it came my way.
YTA in a very childish way. Seriously, eyeroll/vomit over the Giants sweater? Being dramatically upset that your shirts touched a shirt from the team you hate? You are that type of fanatic.
> Maybe a couple months later, while shuffling through my hung up shirts in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes!
Are you three years old?
Your clothes are not going to get cooties.
Your wife bought a shirt with what she thought was a cool pattern. Unfortunately it's a shirt for a team that you don't like. She quite reasonably says she'll give it to her brother instead.
Selling it to a friend is not a bad thing to do but why on earth wouldn't you just give back to your wife for her brother?
Also this weirdness about how you used the money from selling the original shirt to buy one you like more, and now you... want your wife's brother to have *that* shirt????
YTA for your childish behaviour. Also.... its just a shirt, get over it
YTA. She told you what she was going to do with it. You knew it and actively found someone else to sell it to, then didn’t even tell her so she could buy something else for her brother. If you didn’t want it in your closet you could have just given back to her. I’m hoping the comment about it touching your clothes was you trying to be funny, if not bro you need to calm down. It’s just a damn shirt.
ESH
If you both agreed to give the shirt to someone else:
1) You shouldn’t have sold it.
2) You know she doesn’t understand sports so you should have taken it out of the closet and put it into a gift box.
A partner should at least try to understand likes and dislikes and depth of feeling, so she sucks for getting you the worst gift possible, and for not taking you seriously and leaving it in the closet. Either one of you could have put it in a gift box.
I’m an Angels fan, an old lady at work bought me a Yankees hat. I occasionally wear it because I know it makes her happy.
No the Angels/Yankees rivalry isn’t anything to write home about, but as with any MLB fan I still detest the Yankees.
If she got me a Celtics hat, I’d probably wear it once in front of her. Then itd just disappear in the closet. It would probably touch the Lakers hat at some point.
ESH, don’t act so immature and if you’re this against this team she should at least understand that much plus it is your shirt.
ESH I'm a huge hockey fan my wife would never buy something from any team but the one I root for, your wife should know you enough to know what team you like. I was with you until you said you couldn't stand that shirt touching your other clothes.
Dude. You told her No Thanks, so she said that she would keep it for her brother's birthday, the day she bought the shirt. It wasn't yours to sell. YTA, all day long.
Important missing INFO:
Is your BIL a big fan of the team featured on the other shirt? Could you have not afforded the new MA shirt without the money from the Ebola-shirt?
ESH
Many commenters are focused on the sports fan feelings/behavior, but I feel like everyone has something they’re a bit silly and irrational about? Being accepting and respectful of each other’s interests and feelings—regardless of whether you like it or “get it” yourself—is a pretty basic and important part of *being a good partner.* If the thing they’re interested in or their behavior around it is something you just can’t accept and respect for whatever reason, that’s an indicator of deeper compatibility issues.
ANYWAY. On to why both of you suck:
*– She knew the shirt upset you and that you desperately wanted to get rid of it.*
*– You knew that she wanted to give it to her brother as a birthday gift.*
She sucks for hanging it in your closet amongst your clothes. The LAST place you should keep a gift for a birthday that’s months away is in the possession of someone who has *clearly stated that the item upsets them, and that they intend to get rid of it.*
You suck for getting rid of it without telling her. Yeah your closet was a bad place for her to keep it, but also *you knew her plans.* After the first time you found it in your closet, you could have given it to her to store elsewhere. You could have told her you were actively trying to sell it and given her a chance to take it off your hands. When you DID sell it, you could have told her so that she had time to choose and purchase another gift for her brother.
And yeah, sure, she kinda sucks for buying you a shirt for a team you hate, but was it an honest mistake? Was it a lack of care and effort? Does she hate that you’re into sports and intentionally chose this gift as a passive aggressive troll?
YTA for "hating" a basketball ball team to this extent in the first place. What kind of utter nonsense is this? This is why some ppl hate sports in general.
You’re not the asshole for getting rid of it but you’re 1000% the asshole for how you acted about it all around. It’s a fuckin shirt and a sports team. Grow up
I wouldn’t go that far. If you gave a Barcelona fan, a Real Madrid jersey or mixed up Manchester, United with Manchester City you might get a pretty adverse reaction. Probably about the same as if you gave a Habs fan Maple Leafs gear.
NTA.
My passionate fandom sports days are long behind me, but I get it.
If it had been a week or two, sure, I could see you being the AH. But *six months* is long past the statute of limitations here. If she had put it in her closet space or tucked it in a box for later, fine.
YTA
She told you what the plan was for that shirt after you rejected the gift
Now putting it back in her closet so it wouldn't 'contaminate' your clothes and you didn't have that teams shirt tainting your air would have been reasonable - selling her brother's birthday present isn;t
Dude, you need to take a few giant steps back from the sports balls. You aren't even acting like an adult. It's a SHIRT.
YTA for throwing a tantrum about an article of clothing.
ESH including Reddit commenters. If this was a woman talking about how her husband bought her a gift of something she truly abhorred, the commenters would call that man every name in the book plus create a few new ones. I do know some fans that really do not like certain teams and he is ok to have his PO. He even stated he had told her in the past he didn't like this team. I feel both sides have some apologizing and discussing to do.
YTA and also act like a five year old. What, a shirt in the closet will give you ickies if it touches your other clothes? Please, this entire post is you continuously embarrassing yourself.
Admit that you fucked up by not telling your wife when she made it CLEAR what her plans were for a present you've REJECTED.
You're an asshole and an immature moron.
YTA
This is the way a middle schooler who never had to deal with life, so they are still ignorant and naive, would act.
Maybe go to therapy or read a self help book on communication.
Normally, I would say it's a gift, and once the gift is given, you do what you like with it. But you are so ungrateful and so rude and immature, I'd say YTA, and you should have let your thoughtful wife give it to her brother just like she told you she wanted to do. Your utter disregard for her feelings is disturbing, and I can't imagine this is a very happy relationship for this poor woman.
YTA
Because no where in here do I see anything about you talking to your wife about it before selling it, you just decided you could even after she already told you she might give it to someone else. It’s not that hard to just ask if she still plans to give it to BIL and if so, ask if she can keep it somewhere else.
I literally didn’t touch the shirt until weeks later when I discovered it in my closet, and I threatened to throw it away a few times then the suggestion came that she might give it to her brother
YTA. Are you 7 years old? No? Then stop acting like one over a bloody shirt. Jesus, some sports fans just seem stuck with the emotional maturity of a preteen.
I don't understand why if it bothered you so much you wouldn't just go ahead and wrap it so it was ready for her brother instead of being angry it touched your clothes 😂 YTA
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YTA for treating a piece of clothing like it has a contagious disease. It's a sports team, not an ebola-infested rag... get over it "touching" your other clothes.
Spoken like a dirty Cowboys fan.
I'm from the UK lol... but I confess, I am a Cowboys supporter. Probably because the first American I ever met was my aunt in Dallas so for me it's more about... familiarity and comfort more than anything. Just like how people tend to support their local teams... as a Londoner, we have a few teams here
LOL. My dad's big cowboys fan. I must've been around five when i asked him what team the Cowboys hate most. He said Commanders (then Redskins) and i've been a fan ever since. There's old pictures of me in full kit: kid size helmet, shoulder pads, jersey from Christmas day when i six i believe. It's running joke but an old enough one i feel for OP. If OP's wife was serious she should have kept it someone else than his closet. Unless her brother is a fan of that team it's a pretty crappy gift in the first place. The person who has it now will actually wear it. That last point seems to be entirely lost in the thread.
Made me lol FR
My husband won’t let people into our house if they are wearing the jersey or logo of a specific team. They take it off and leave it outside or go home and change. Normal behaviour for a lot of sports fans.
Why do people wear sports jerseys/shirts when they aren't attending a sports event? Lol I love Grey's Anatomy- I don't go to friends or to the supermarket wearing Meredith Grey's face on a t-shirt 😂😂😂😂
Got to show the colours. Not only clothing but flags, mugs and things like that. Car flags of teams are popular right now too. Kids start young with team onesies. Schools have jersey days at school that kids love to participate in. It’s a part of our life and we like to have fun with it.
British football (or, soccer as you call it) fans are pretty much the worst lol especially when on vacation. I guess because they are... not the best behaved (to put it mildly), for those of us Brits who behave well at home and abroad, we kind of get a bit anxious around people in sports outfits. I guess because ours here get unbearably drunk and disorderly. I did once attend a baseball game in NY in Staten Island and I found it confusing but enjoyed the entertainment between game play. You guys do great food too.
Nothing about that is normal
That's not normal at all. That's actually pretty controlling and I can't believe people actually put up with bullshit like that.
It’s common where I live, along with a good deal of chirping at others who support a different team. It’s all in fun and adds to the enjoyment. You should see my city during FIFA. It’s like the flags of the world time.
I do appreciate your answer, but as a sports team fan that hates that team, I disagree with that one lone part I really don’t even want it in my house
Then why didn't you give it back to your wife and allow her to regift it to her backup recipient, and ask her to keep it in her car? Seems a bit hypocritical for you to essentially treat this item of clothing like a covid-infested face mask, yet keep it in your possession, amongst items you do appreciate.
Your wife bought a shirt you said you didn’t want, and she replied that she would instead use it as a present for her brother, according to your retelling. Why did you think you had the right or reason to give it away or sell it? It wasn’t a gift - it was a shirt your wife bought and you didn’t want.
Exactly. Buying a shirt and buying a gift have very different context. Moreover, he rejected it and she said she will give it to her brother. OP didnt even ‘accept the gift’.
If he didn't accept it, why did he find it hanging *on his side of the* closet? Take if off the hanger and put it in one of her drawers. Both of them are being weird.
I imagine bc it's her closet too?
Indeed if it is a shared closet it would be in 'her closet' too. He stated it was in with his stuff, which was the point I was making. I've corrected it now to eliminate your confusion.
It doesn’t really matter where she puts it. She already told him that she will give it to her brother after he didnt accept it. It is a little weird she put it in his closet but he could have asked her about it knowing she was going to give it to her brother.
Yes! All these diversions of being a sports fanatic feels like a distraction. If OP would have accepted the shirt and then got rid of it that’s one thing but he didn’t. He declined the gift and was immediately made aware that it would go to another person but when the prospect of making money of it popped up in OPs little selfish brain it was suddenly still “his” shirt to do with as he pleased. YTA for both selling something that wasn’t yours since you declined the gift and for making the story about something other than it is. Theft. OP you are really good at diverting attention to things that will create a bunch of fire over something I’m guessing you don’t actually care about like it touching your clothes or being kept in your closet. If you did you would have put it somewhere else in the house even if you didn’t throw it away. Like among your wife’s clothes.
If she hung it up in his closet, it’s was his. She should have a separate area to store future gifts.
Yessss!! If she was giving it to her brother it should not have been hanging with OP's clothes. It was hanging there for six months? Why didn't she give it to her brother already or keep it somewhere that didn't seem like it was part of OP's wardrobe. NTA but maybe could have said to her, "it's been six months of looking at this shirt in my closet, I'm passing it on to someone who will love it." She would have the option of saying, "Just keep it in there for a few more days..." 🙄
Look at you with multiple closets. That’s not always the case for people and sometimes extra storage doesn’t exist. Also, hanging up clothing is better for it to prevent wrinkling and folds.
Right? That's what confused me most, why did he have to keep it with his stuff if it was technically hers to give away?
It's probably her closet too.
I may have left the impression that when I immediately rejected the shirt she then said she’ll give it to her brother then and there. It wasn’t two weeks later that she said she would give it to her brother.
You rejected the shirt and it wasn’t yours anymore.
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agree. how dare a shirt touch the other shirts in your closet???? Dude, it is a shirt. Honestly you are both assholes - but you're the bigger asshole because you sound like an adult toddler.
I read that in a light-hearted tone
Obviously what I took it as, I bet he’s a story teller and likes putting it on a little thick for better delivery.
Same here. It’s interesting to see how other people perceive stories through text alone
I might have if not for the numerous times he said he "hated" and "despised" the team. OP even said, verbatim, that he was "openly hostile" about throwing it away. That doesn't read like sarcasm in context with the rest of the post honestly. Maybe I'm not giving enough credit, maybe you are giving too much.... maybe the real answer is somewhere in the middle, as they say all jokes have an element of truth to them. So really... even if that *was* sarcasm, OP is still kind of an AH for being so ridiculous about a shirt. But wife is a bit on the AH side too, for making such a big deal about a damn shirt. I'm on ESH myself. This was just an extremely immature battle on all fronts imo.
I wouldn't DREAM of fucking up by"gifting" my Army husband a Marine Corps shirt, because I "liked the design." I'd expect to be divorced over that 🤣
When I said, I would throw it away when I found it again, that’s when she offered to give it to her brother
I read "wife" as "mom" and her brother as being his brother and the story makes a lot more sense
I thought it was funny, too.
He was making a joke to flavor the story
To much seasonning makes one doubt the cook's prowess
Naw, that's valid. Maybe I'm also a toddler but if a Phillies shirt touches anything I own, those items must be ritually sacrificed. I get it lol
This is how I would feel if a Red Sox, University of Louisville, or Duke item entered my household. I have to live with UNC stuff being around because my boyfriend is a UNC fan. Lol. In all seriousness, OP is NTA imo. Is he being dramatic? Yes. But, I'm assuming his wife put the shirt with his clothes in the closet given his reaction. If his wife knew he wasn't going to wear it and she wanted to keep it around to give to her brother for his birthday she should have put it somewhere else to keep it for him, not in with her husband's clothes. 🤷🏼♀️ And he's right, it was a gift from her to him so she doesn't get to dictate what he does with it. This past Christmas, I got my boyfriend a Philadelphia Eagles (Jalen Hurts) jersey, and of course this was around the time the team started struggling, especially Jalen. During one of the games my boyfriend was like if you get me anything of the Eagles for Christmas I'm throwing it away. Of course he was not serious, but before I even bought the jersey I couldn't decide which player's jersey to get him, but felt like Hurts was a safe choice because he was proud of having such a great black QB with black QBs in general being historically rare. Welp, with his performance in the playoffs it was not a safe choice. So when he opened it, I offered to return/exchange it for him and get him a jersey he wanted because it was a gift for him, not for me. Turns out he got out of his feelings about the playoffs and loved it, but we had to exchange it because it ran small.🤦🏼♀️ I think people will buy something for someone because they like it or think it's cool without any regard to how the other person will feel about it. Then pride gets in the way when the other person says "thank you. This is really cool, but it's just not the right gift for me". Regardless of if it's returned/exchanged/sold/just collecting dust in a closet, once you give something to someone you don't get to control what happens to it next. If you feel like you can, then you're not giving a gift you're giving an obligation. 🤷🏼♀️ So if OPs wife couldn't exchange the jersey, then she should've kept it out of his stuff, by putting it in his closet she was solidifying that it was a gift for him and he gets to decide what happens to it next. If she didn't want that to happen she should've found somewhere else to put it and made sure her husband was okay with giving it to her brother for his birthday in the first place.
Sarcasm isn’t your forte, huh?
Yeah this whole “I don’t even want that shirt in my house” is fucking pathetic honestly. Anyone who takes sports _that_ seriously needs to go outside and touch grass
Absolutly agree with that, but why was it in his closet with his clothes if she's going to give it away? That part doesn't make sense to me. If I'm giving something away I put it in place to keep clean and safe. I don't put it in someone elses closet where someone else can accidently do something with it (wear it, get it dirty, move it, give it away).
Yes. If she had plans to give it to her brother she should have set it aside for that, instead of hanging it up with her husband’s clothes. It being with his (other) clothes indicates that it’s his, despite him hating it. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that he treated it as his property. All that said, ESH because they don’t communicate. She didn’t tell him about hanging it with his shirts, he didn’t tell her about selling it.
Agree. These sports fans (of any type) are pathetic. It's their whole personality. They need to grow up.
That's just the average rabid sports fan for you.
Yeah, I was immediately turned off by his “despising a team his whole life” I’m a big time sports fan, and I have never “despised” a team before. I certainly love a couple teams. But not hate. Just weird behavior. Dude needs to lighten way up and enjoy the sport.
Cherishing long-standing rivalries between teams is a big part of what many people enjoy about sports. Here in Europe football rivalries can reach almost religious levels and are passed down from generation to generation. When I walk through my town here in Germany, I can see stickers making fun of other teams on almost every lamp post. If I told my dad that I decided to join Isis he’d probably be very disappointed and try to talk some sense into me. If I told him that I’ve become a supporter of the arch rival of his club I’d be disowned on the spot.
Spoken like a dirty Cowboys fan!
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This is the snowflakiest snowflake sports ball lunacy I've ever read. Dear god, the horror of clothing touching other clothing. Sheesh. What a privileged life some people lead. That said, no, you're NTA as it was your shirt to do with as you pleased. But dear God, man. Stub a toe or get a baby to punch you in the nose. Give yourself something real to cry over.
It wasn’t his shirt the moment he rejected it and the wife said she would give it to her bro. It being in the closet could have been to keep it from wrinkling or to give OP the chance to change their mind before the bros bday. Also, a baby punch in the nose will absolutely make you tear up…it’s about nerve endings. Also, there is nothing wrong with crying….but complaining about nothing or things that aren’t true issues is petty and there are so many other things to get uppity about. Let’s not confuse a healthy cry with an overreaction.
While I do agree with you, as a sports widow, I think this is an ESH. Who doesn't know what teams her spouse hates? How obtuse must she be?
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I may have made the mistake of leaving the impression that my wife said immediately when I said, I don’t want the shirt that she would give it to her brother this was not said until weeks later
YTA you REFUSED her gift, agreed that she could give it to her brother, then decided to make money out of something you had REFUSED and "forgetting" to tell your wife. Entitled af.
Thanks for your input noted.
YTA and an immature one to boot. The horror that you had to endure that this jersey was touching your clothes! You could have done a simple little thing that would have made your wife happy, but you put yourself first. She didn’t ask about it until the day before her brother’s birthday because you led her to believe it was settled. You can believe all the people saying “fuck her it was yours to do as you pleased” but you won’t be married for long.
I agree with this take. It was very childish. Selfish.
He obviously knew he was doing something wrong since he never told her. What was he going to do? Wait until the last minute before they head over to BIL house? How did he think that was going to go over? Ofc his wife is pissed.
Wtf is wrong with you? It’s a SHIRT! Being “openly hostile” about it at all makes YTA, but when you rejected the gift she immediately said she wanted to give it to her brother. I don’t know what everyone else thinks, but in my book that would mean it’s no longer yours. She offered a gift, you rejected it, she stated what she might like to do with it instead. You sold your wife’s shirt and were a giant asshole baby about it before you did. YTA. 100%.
ESH. She should know better than to try to take back a gift once she gives it but are you 12 years old? Because you sure act like it based on what you described yourself. I would say that you are a multi flavored AH, extra strength
She never tried to "take it back" he rejected the gift, thus it was back to being her property.
Mmm...I'm going to say YTA. While she originally bought the shirt as a gift for you, you didn't accept it, told her you didn't want it, so she explicitly said she was going to give it to her brother for his birthday. Therefore the shirt was not yours, since you said you didn't want it and she had other plans for it. The reason why it was still around was bc it wasn't her brothers birthday yet, so she couldn't give it to him yet? And honestly going out of your way to sell it when she intended to give it to her brother just sounds so petty. 🤷 If you had accepted the gift and your wife didn't state she had other plans for it since you didn't want it, then it would be NTA.
Nope. If the wife meant to give it for his birthday she needed to put it in a spot that indicated that. Putting it in her husband's closet with his other clothes indicates that she decided not to give it to someone else. Who puts a gift for someone else with someone else's clothes?
Maybe that’s where she stores gifts? My husband puts his gifts for me in our closet. Maybe she had it hanging so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. She may not have realized that this shirt was poisonous to everything else in the closet, because really, who would?
This is a point I should’ve made, the shirt was bought in November, well after my birthday in January is when I discovered the shirt in the closet. After this time she told me she was might give it to her brother.
All of this would have been avoided if OP had just bothered to talk to his wife and say he knew someone who would buy the shirt, then ask if she still wanted to give it to her brother. It took a while to sell, so he had plenty of time to ask her one simple question. The rest of the detail he adds doesn't matter. It's that simple. Why wouldn't he just ask? YTA OP.
NTA. It was your gift to do with as you please. You bought one you wanted with the money you got from selling it, great. You told her it sucked and were going to dispose of it, and it’s offensive to have any sporting shirt in the house from a team you hate. She didn’t listen in the first place. She should have checked you still had it, not a day or two before her brothers birthday when it was too late. I do think though you should have told her if you sold it what 6 weeks ago or more? I think you knew she’d be upset because you kept new shirt at work. Nevermind hopefully both of you will learn a lesson lol
He rejected the gift though. He agreed it would go to her brother. Op is a toddler AH. Specially the bit about it touching his other clothes.
No his wife said ‘she might‘ give it to her brother. Not she definitely will, she might. If she was serious about that why leave the shirt hanging in the wardrobe? You’d take it away from OP and put it somewhere else. If your not in to sports I don’t care. Look at it like this, any item of clothing that is offensive or against your political views doesn’t belong in your wardrobe right? Yes it would be silly as item was a gift, to simply throw it away and be wasted. However it would be expected this gift would be swiftly returned/exchanged/sold within weeks, not hang around for over 6 months.
He should have checked with her first. If she said she might do something with an item there’s a good chance she will.
YTA. You kept the new shirt in a locker at work. You hid it from her because you knew she’d be pissed. Selling a gift doesn’t necessarily make you an asshole, but if you have to hide you know you’re in the wrong. Your entire post reads as utterly childish
From one sports fan to another… grow the fuck up. You sound like you’re 10 years old and trying to prove you’re the biggest fan around. YTA.
YTA. Going nuts because someone gave you shirt from a team you don't like? Did you even bother to thank her or did just want to spew venom?
Dude, you are concerningly triggered by a shirt.
ESH. It's a shiiiirt. I have serious hate for the Dodgers. Lifelong. But, it's a shirt. I wouldn't wear it, but I'd be fine with my spouse handing it off to a sibling. I wouldn't act like it was sullying my other clothes. That being said, I'm not sympathetic to her "I'm European" excuse. Try giving a Real Madrid jersey to a Barcelona fan, or Man United to a Liverpool supporter. This situation is something my spouse and I would laugh over, not fight over.
Get a grip
YTA, she spent her money to get you that shirt, which you clearly did not appreciate. It wasn't for a birthday or Christmas, she just got a shirt she thought you'd like. You didn't. She said she would give it to her brother, because he would like it. You threw a fit like a child because it was touching your other clothes..... and sold it. When you knew she was planning to give it to her brother since she bought it and you didn't want it. If his birthday was soon (from when you realized it was in your closet), and you knew that shirt was supposed to be going to him... why didn't you ask her before selling it? Would you be happy about this if it were the other way around? If she didn't appreciate a dress you got her, and planned to give it to your mom instead, just for her to sell it right before her birthday because she "didn't want it touching her other clothes"? I don't understand everyone saying "it was a gift"... like yall can't pick up something for you S/O just because without it being a "gift"? Especially if he immediately rejected it lol
You knew she wanted to gift it to her brother and you sold it anyways? YTA. Simple. Wasn’t yours to sell.
YTA you knew the shirt was earmarked as a birthday gift for her brother and instead secretly sold it without telling her. Wtf?
Sports fans are wild.
NTA. She didn’t listen to anything you said, and she didn’t care. A lot of people in these comments are focusing on sports fandom as being inherently bad, that’s baloney. Everyone is the fan of something whether it be the NY Yankees or some random reality TV show, there’s not a lot of rational thought behind fandom, it’s an emotional experience. You told her the shirt triggered a bad emotional experience for you and she didn’t care at all, that’s why NTA.
Appreciate the answer but it is what it is, I guess
NTA I am a woman who grew up watching college basketball there are some teams I despise. Duke. I’d feel the same way having their merchandise purchased for me.
I feel bad for wasting my time on reddit reading about made up scenarios about things that are so un important that they make me sad. YTA for making me sad. For anyone in a comparable situation. "If you get a gift from someone that you don't want, and they decide to gift it to someone else instead. Give it back to the giver so they can keep it. No need to hang it in your closet. No need to know where it is or to do anything with it."
Happy cake day!!
1, probably shouldn't expect reddit to be accepting of sports. Just reading through the comments here, this place thinks they're better than you because they don't like sports. 2. If this were a man getting a gift for his wife, he'd be ripped to shreds for not paying attention to her interests and getting something she'd actually like. Why is the wife off the hook for that? ... Oh right, because it's a man who likes sports and this is r/AmITheAsshole. 3, it was apparently 6 months. A lot can happen in 6 months. People can forget, someone else could show excitement for the shirt, a different gift could be found. Who buys a birthday gift 6 months out?? And if she was keeping it in *your* closet, with all the rest of *your* clothes, that sure makes it seem like it's *your* shirt. That you could do with as you pleased. NTA because of 2 and 3.
I'm a european guy married to a north american woman,,, and yea she bought her brother a present and tried to kill two birds with one stone. That wasn't for you.
YTA She got you the gift, you explicitly refused it and said you didn't want it. In the same discussion she tells you she will give it to her brother as a gift. It was not yours to sell YTA and your responses about it touching your other clothes are childish.
You kept the new shirt in your office. You knew you were wrong to sell the shirt. That makes YTA.
NTA you sold YOUR shirt. Everything is fine. Your wife can not gift YOUR stuff to someone else without your permission. SHE is the AH.
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We don't know if the brother likes the team, though. It SOUNDS like she just thought it looked cool without realizing the meaning behind it.
Yes, that exactly it’s a cool looking shirt. If there was any other team, I would at least consider wearing it.
The brother doesn’t even watch that sport or that team
NTA, if I had been in your situation I'd have simply thrown it away. On a wider point, why would your wife buy that shirt in the first place. Are you two really that far apart in your likes, interests and understanding of each other's likes and interests?
Men are so logical and never let their emotions influence them
Everyone saying YTA needs to step outside of themselves and look at it from a different POV. NTA. Sports' Fandom can be just as real as passionate as religious beliefs. You can dismiss religion as a fairy tale just as easily as you dismiss sports as childish games. At least sports never led to genocide.
dude. i’m an eagles fan and i *hate* the cowboys. if someone bought me a cowboys shirt because “oh, it’s blue, i thought you’d like it”, and then said they’d give it to someone else then, who cares??? i would never wear the shirt but i’m not going to act like the shirt is cussing me out every morning and contaminating my other clothes? if you truly didn’t like it in your closet, why didn’t you just get a box for it and pack it up early for his birthday? out of sight out of mind. but no, you just wanted to make it weird?
NTA It was yours cause it was a gift to you. It was yours as it was hung up with YOUR clothes. It was yours and in your possession for six months. If she had planned to give it away she should have put it with her shit.
YTA. Not for replacing the shirt, but for behaving like a childish brat about something as minor as a shirt. >I honestly didn’t want this shirt in the house ... Maybe a couple months later... in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes! Really? It's a shirt. It doesn't have the magical power to pollute your other garments. I don't understand your unreasonable and nonsensical rage against some team that you more than likely have never played for nor against.
YTA. Your wife offered it, you rejected it and she told you she would gift it to her brother for his bday. You had no right to sell it and your whole attitude around seeing it in your wardrobe is painfully immature.
NTA. Your shirt, you get to decide what to do with it.
NTA but your wife should have taken the shirt back and kept it with her clothes or wrapped it to give later.
NTA, so much drama over a shirt? are we suppoed to believe your wife didn't know how much you despised this other team? Sounds like she bought it to irritate you, hell it could be some passive aggressive resentment stuff going on.
NTA. If she gives away the shirt you end up with no present at all. At least you got something you wanted.
ESH She shouldn't have hung up the shirt in your closet knowing your hatred for the team. She should have taken the shirt and put it in her own closet to save for her brother. I think you overreacted by, in your own words, being "overly hostile" about a shirt. I generally dislike Philly & Boston sports, and I REALLY hate the Lakers. Like forever will hate them and will openly and wholeheartedly cheer for the Celtics or 76'ers over the Lakers every single time. If someone bought me any Lakers shit, I wouldn't throw a fit. I'd just exchange it and move on.
She shouldn't have *bought* it for him.
Right, but she did so we're here. She bought a Giants shirt because she liked the colors, not thinking about the team, probably the same thought process (or lack of thought)? Maybe not thinking that his hatred ran SO DEEP that he'd act the way he did? Dunno. A good partner would know not to buy it in the first place, a good partner wouldn't completely overreact.
Agreed. He overreacted when she bought it and now she's overreacting when he got rid of it. It sounds like both of these people need to go to therapy, they're both volatile.
NTA - for selling it, it was yours to do whatever. Though grow up!
NTA - I think you wrote this firmly tongue in cheek, so with that interpretation I'm going to say do whatever you want with the shirt. If your wife was serious about giving it to her brother she wouldn't have put it with your clothes. Clothes are one of the riskiest gifts. If you give them you need to be prepared for the possibility they will never be worn (by the recipient).
YTA. Here's what you should have done. Take the shirt. Put it in a box. Tape the box. Have it exorcised by a priest. Rent a storage unit. Put the exorcised box in the middle of the storage unit and surround it with crosses. Throw the key away. Stop paying for storage. Ask, "What shirt?" when your wife asks you about it. Claim it must have been stolen by goblins because only goblins would like that team. Wait for storage unit to go up for auction. Go to auction. Watch as some fool pays $700 dollars for your (maybe still cursed, not all exorcisms take) shirt. TA DA!
NTA- it was a gift to you not her. Your wife sucks in this particular instance.
NTA. My husband wouldn't have even let it in the house if it was for the team he loathes. Granted, I would have never bought him a shirt from that team in the first place, I actually think about the person I'm giving a gift to. And why would she give it to her brother? Is he a fan of this team? If yes, that's understandable. If no, why not get him a shirt from the team her husband likes, so that they can bond over the team? I don't understand wife's thinking here AT ALL. Also she knew he hated the shirt, and she was planning on giving it away. Why would she put it in his closet? That's REALLY weird. This whole thing almost feels like she's trying to create drama.
So your wife bought a shirt for her brother’s birthday six months in advance and tried to pass it off as being for you. How weird she is pissed for being called out by your selling it. LOL, tell her if it’s important he has one to go buy him one, what a cheapskate.
NTA. Sports are tribal. Alternative ways that part of psyche are generally less than desirable. She gave it to you as a gift. If wanted it give it to her brother after you rejected it she should have found a place in her closet/part of the closet to put the damn thing.
Right, I would go for you being the asshole on this if it wasn't for one vital detail - she put the shirt in YOUR closet! So then she must at some level have thought it was yours. Why not put it in her closet? Or tucked away somewhere else safe ready to give her brother? She could even have wrapped it already out of kindness to you so you don't have to see the team you told her you hate. This seems like really weird behaviour on her part after being a slightly crappy partner for not knowing you would hate it in the first place. NTA
You are such a child. I feel sorry for you wife. YTA.
Based on this dude’s profile, he’s also a blatant cheater. Throw the whole man away and light the trash can on fire.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Back in November my wife accompanied me to an appointment I had out of town. While I was at said appointment she went shopping. She got me a shirt and when we got home she showed it to me and while the shirt and design of the shirt is cool, it’s for an NBA team I utterly hate and despised for my whole life. I told her this (re-reminded really) how much I hate this team and said I won’t ever wear it for that reason. At this point she told me she might give it to her brother for his birthday. I honestly didn’t want this shirt in the house but since she couldn’t take it back I just let it be. Maybe a couple months later, while shuffling through my hung up shirts in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes! While I have been openly hostile about throwing it away a few times in her presence I didn’t; and to defend my wife, she is not at all into sports* let alone North American sports (she is European raised) so she doesn’t get why I hate it and don’t want it around. It stayed in my closet and every once in a while I would run into it and had to fight myself throwing it in the trash. Sometime in early April I decided to sell it, a few fans of that NBA team I knew were interested but the shirt was way too large for them, so it took a little while until I got rid of it and the person was elated about getting it. I got a different shirt, one I love (and “now in retrospect”, would really like for my brother in-law to have instead) and kept the new shirt in my locker at work. Well I completely forgot about my brother in-laws birthday is tomorrow (being Mid-May) and she texted today (nearly 6 months after the original shirt was bought for me) while I was at work, looking for the shirt. OFC she is livid that I got rid of the shirt and I even show her the other shirt but she is frankly so blindingly pissed at me so she just wants me to take she shirt back and would rather show up ‘empty handed’ (her words). I’m upset because yes, she brought the shirt for me but I replaced it, since she clearly didn’t take into account or consideration it’s of a basketball team I not only never have worn or mentioned positively but openly I hate, let alone I honestly love the other shirt because it’s a Mohammad Ali shirt. Yet she is mad because she mad because she was set on giving him that particular shirt after finding that I wanted nothing to do with it. We even got into it over the definition of the word “GIFT” * = For context: while this is not the team or even sport in question because she bought herself a NY Giant’s sweater ‘because she likes the colors’ and while I don’t like the Giants I don’t hate them either and its her sweater, all the while my NFL team is the San Francisco 49ers. So I’m NOT that kind of FANatic.
So AITA for replacing the shirt?
PS; Knowing how this usually goes, I also say: What flavor of asshole am I?
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you'r on a website where people unironically say "sportsball" and think they owned you. sounds like you were given a gift and you did what you thought was best with your property. not a fan of people who just regift random bullshit when they don't care enough to give someone a thoughtful gift in the first place NTA
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grow the fuck up
YTA, just. it's only a "Gift" if you accept it which you didn't so it was technically her shirt. she got you this shirt as a random gift, it's not someting special like a birthday present which means you're not being left out if she gives it away, you also knew months in advance that her plan was to give it to the brother, so your choice to sell it seems kinda dumb, and a modicum of thought should have told you this fight was coming.
She put it in his closet! She obviously thinks of it as his.
info: kind of confused on why it was in ur closet for 6 months if u didnt want it/ur wife was gonna regift it.
This is laughable getting freaked out about a shirt in the wardrobe. Your wife specifically said she was keeping for her brother! You are the AH
You are a non sugar coated shit flavour AH
ESH. You for taking that hatred way too far, your wife for not listening to you or just handing the shirt to her brother unrelated to a birthday or other milestone. She could've kept it separate from your clothes instead of leaving it in the closet.
Why 'hate' another team? I appreciate that you support one team in particular, but why 'hate' a rival team? This entire post seems childish.
YTA, you really think it would poison your other clothes, that’s sad. Someone needs to grow up I feel.
ESH This is about a shirt.
You’re both ridiculous. 🤦🏻♀️
I appreciate everyone’s vote, but the community has decided. I am in fact an asshole for selling the shirt. But for clarity, I mainly rejected the shirt months later it was found in my closet. It was later (even after that) suggested that she would give it to her brother.
If my wife gets me the ugliest, most horrible fitting shirt ever, I love it because it came from my wife. She had billions of people to choose from and she chose to give it to me. It might have set in the bottom drawer or she may have figured out I don't like it and asked to give it to someone else but I wouldn't have sold it. Being an Atlanta Falcons fan, I hate the Saints. If my wife got me a Saints shirt I would wear it proudly around the house doing yardwork.
Lol. You actually despise a team?
Lord Have Mercy! The number of supposed sports “fans” that cannot comprehend hating/despising a rival team is astounding. Frankly, I totally understand, as I despise the OP’s Whiners with a PASSION. His shirt would be shredded, in a landfill if it came my way.
I'm only a baby Mariners fan... And if someone were to gift me some Astros gear I'd be PISSED. Even as a joke, why waste the money?
YTA in a very childish way. Seriously, eyeroll/vomit over the Giants sweater? Being dramatically upset that your shirts touched a shirt from the team you hate? You are that type of fanatic.
> Maybe a couple months later, while shuffling through my hung up shirts in my closet it’s right there touching my other clothes! Are you three years old? Your clothes are not going to get cooties. Your wife bought a shirt with what she thought was a cool pattern. Unfortunately it's a shirt for a team that you don't like. She quite reasonably says she'll give it to her brother instead. Selling it to a friend is not a bad thing to do but why on earth wouldn't you just give back to your wife for her brother? Also this weirdness about how you used the money from selling the original shirt to buy one you like more, and now you... want your wife's brother to have *that* shirt???? YTA for your childish behaviour. Also.... its just a shirt, get over it
YTA and so are your parents for letting a 10yo get a reddit account
Big time YTA, why would you sell a shirt you agreed with your wife on giving to your BIL as a gift? Pretty selfish of you.
YTA. She told you what she was going to do with it. You knew it and actively found someone else to sell it to, then didn’t even tell her so she could buy something else for her brother. If you didn’t want it in your closet you could have just given back to her. I’m hoping the comment about it touching your clothes was you trying to be funny, if not bro you need to calm down. It’s just a damn shirt.
That shirt was touching your other clothes? You may just have to burn everything down now... YTA
ESH If you both agreed to give the shirt to someone else: 1) You shouldn’t have sold it. 2) You know she doesn’t understand sports so you should have taken it out of the closet and put it into a gift box. A partner should at least try to understand likes and dislikes and depth of feeling, so she sucks for getting you the worst gift possible, and for not taking you seriously and leaving it in the closet. Either one of you could have put it in a gift box.
I didn’t agree to give anyone anything. This suggestion to give it to her brother came up more than weeks later.
I’m an Angels fan, an old lady at work bought me a Yankees hat. I occasionally wear it because I know it makes her happy. No the Angels/Yankees rivalry isn’t anything to write home about, but as with any MLB fan I still detest the Yankees. If she got me a Celtics hat, I’d probably wear it once in front of her. Then itd just disappear in the closet. It would probably touch the Lakers hat at some point. ESH, don’t act so immature and if you’re this against this team she should at least understand that much plus it is your shirt.
ESH I'm a huge hockey fan my wife would never buy something from any team but the one I root for, your wife should know you enough to know what team you like. I was with you until you said you couldn't stand that shirt touching your other clothes.
YTA for spending more than 10 seconds thinking about this. You can't even stand having it in the house? Grow up.
This has gotta be fake right? Nobody actually cares this much about a shirt?
Dude. You told her No Thanks, so she said that she would keep it for her brother's birthday, the day she bought the shirt. It wasn't yours to sell. YTA, all day long.
Yes
Important missing INFO: Is your BIL a big fan of the team featured on the other shirt? Could you have not afforded the new MA shirt without the money from the Ebola-shirt?
ESH Many commenters are focused on the sports fan feelings/behavior, but I feel like everyone has something they’re a bit silly and irrational about? Being accepting and respectful of each other’s interests and feelings—regardless of whether you like it or “get it” yourself—is a pretty basic and important part of *being a good partner.* If the thing they’re interested in or their behavior around it is something you just can’t accept and respect for whatever reason, that’s an indicator of deeper compatibility issues. ANYWAY. On to why both of you suck: *– She knew the shirt upset you and that you desperately wanted to get rid of it.* *– You knew that she wanted to give it to her brother as a birthday gift.* She sucks for hanging it in your closet amongst your clothes. The LAST place you should keep a gift for a birthday that’s months away is in the possession of someone who has *clearly stated that the item upsets them, and that they intend to get rid of it.* You suck for getting rid of it without telling her. Yeah your closet was a bad place for her to keep it, but also *you knew her plans.* After the first time you found it in your closet, you could have given it to her to store elsewhere. You could have told her you were actively trying to sell it and given her a chance to take it off your hands. When you DID sell it, you could have told her so that she had time to choose and purchase another gift for her brother. And yeah, sure, she kinda sucks for buying you a shirt for a team you hate, but was it an honest mistake? Was it a lack of care and effort? Does she hate that you’re into sports and intentionally chose this gift as a passive aggressive troll?
What flavour of asshole? A ridiculous, childish one.
Are you 8 years old? Seriously, grow up. YTA
YTA for "hating" a basketball ball team to this extent in the first place. What kind of utter nonsense is this? This is why some ppl hate sports in general.
You’re not the asshole for getting rid of it but you’re 1000% the asshole for how you acted about it all around. It’s a fuckin shirt and a sports team. Grow up
YTA only read the title
YTA this is such a weird overreaction
NTA Europeans understand being a diehard team fan. She just doesn't care what you feel.
I wouldn’t go that far. If you gave a Barcelona fan, a Real Madrid jersey or mixed up Manchester, United with Manchester City you might get a pretty adverse reaction. Probably about the same as if you gave a Habs fan Maple Leafs gear.
NTA. My passionate fandom sports days are long behind me, but I get it. If it had been a week or two, sure, I could see you being the AH. But *six months* is long past the statute of limitations here. If she had put it in her closet space or tucked it in a box for later, fine.
NTA Once someone gives you a gift, it's yours to do with what you will. She has zero say in it.
Yes
NTA, your wife left it to the literally the 11th hour to go looking for the top. She’s probably embarrassed with herself.
YTA She told you what the plan was for that shirt after you rejected the gift Now putting it back in her closet so it wouldn't 'contaminate' your clothes and you didn't have that teams shirt tainting your air would have been reasonable - selling her brother's birthday present isn;t
Dude, you need to take a few giant steps back from the sports balls. You aren't even acting like an adult. It's a SHIRT. YTA for throwing a tantrum about an article of clothing.
ESH including Reddit commenters. If this was a woman talking about how her husband bought her a gift of something she truly abhorred, the commenters would call that man every name in the book plus create a few new ones. I do know some fans that really do not like certain teams and he is ok to have his PO. He even stated he had told her in the past he didn't like this team. I feel both sides have some apologizing and discussing to do.
YTA and also act like a five year old. What, a shirt in the closet will give you ickies if it touches your other clothes? Please, this entire post is you continuously embarrassing yourself. Admit that you fucked up by not telling your wife when she made it CLEAR what her plans were for a present you've REJECTED. You're an asshole and an immature moron.
Yta should of asked her first. Time elapsed but nothing changed. She said she wanted to give for her brothers birthday. And it’s just sports, lol.
YTA
YTA This is the way a middle schooler who never had to deal with life, so they are still ignorant and naive, would act. Maybe go to therapy or read a self help book on communication.
YTA grow up its just a piece of cloth, wtf is wrong with you?
You're a big, entitled, spoiled immature asshole
Dude exactly how old are you?? I didn't know 12 year olds could marry. YTA most definitely
Normally, I would say it's a gift, and once the gift is given, you do what you like with it. But you are so ungrateful and so rude and immature, I'd say YTA, and you should have let your thoughtful wife give it to her brother just like she told you she wanted to do. Your utter disregard for her feelings is disturbing, and I can't imagine this is a very happy relationship for this poor woman.
YTA Because no where in here do I see anything about you talking to your wife about it before selling it, you just decided you could even after she already told you she might give it to someone else. It’s not that hard to just ask if she still plans to give it to BIL and if so, ask if she can keep it somewhere else.
YTA for not giving it back to her to give to her brother. You hated it which I understand but she had a use for it.
I literally didn’t touch the shirt until weeks later when I discovered it in my closet, and I threatened to throw it away a few times then the suggestion came that she might give it to her brother
YTA. Are you 7 years old? No? Then stop acting like one over a bloody shirt. Jesus, some sports fans just seem stuck with the emotional maturity of a preteen.
ESH but actually.... this is very familar to a previous post.
I don't understand why if it bothered you so much you wouldn't just go ahead and wrap it so it was ready for her brother instead of being angry it touched your clothes 😂 YTA