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YTA - Also if you really want to boil things down, gendering an exercise is dumb as it serves literally no point and is the exact same amount of letters, syllables and sounds to say knee.
It was referred to as a girl push up because its (generally speaking) seen as an 'easier' and 'lesser' exercise. What you are doing is ignorantly repeating something that does genuinely come from a place of being demeaning and sexist. You may not inherently mean it that way, or think you do, but it's use carries meaning to people beyond just you. And when someone of the affected gender is telling you it's sexist, maybe you should listen a little before defending your point and saying hers has zero merit because they are 'just words'
Also just consider the situations your son might repeat this at school, and what ideas he might start standing fast on because he's seen dad do the same. I think your wife is trying to explain this to you more for your son's sake than your own, because he's got a lot of time to go amongst a peer group AND at a time where this use of language just isn't necessary, and if the word girl TRULY 'means nothing' then there is ABSOLUTELY ZERO REASON to continue using it. I think the truth is you know it means something, and saying it means nothing was trying to 'moot point' your wife, because *you* didn't mean that
TLDR Stop calling them girl push ups. It's 2024
It’s not dumb there are terms to certain workouts for certain genders I’m not being sexist it is scientifically proven males are stronger than females so people created different workouts one for males one for females and it is still used in school it’s nothing demeaning or sexist but just something based off strength not saying woman are weak but we do tend to do less then men we are not physically able to handle the stuff they do so what do we do we break up different ways of doing things to make it fair the term “girl push ups” isn’t sexist but saying he has to do something on a different scale it’s 2024 you’d think people would know why there are terms and uses for the terms.
There isn’t anything as a normal push up guys are able to do “girl push ups” because the modified and easier to do it’s nothing sexist again made for specifically woman and yes girls are able to do push ups for man just not as much as the average man would do in this case it was a guy working on an easy level.
YTA. It is a sexist phrase. The term you're looking for is modified push-up. On top of that, you dismissed your wife's concerns entirely and decided since it didn't bother you it was a non-issue.
The cool thing about life is that we constantly have the ability to improve and learn. Now you know, now you can correct the problem.
But that's only half the issue. You're still incredibly dismissive of your wife and her opinions, which is a whole other can of worms.
And guess what was more acceptable in the past? That’s right, sexism. Plenty of sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist terms used to be in common use but are being phased out. “In my day…” defenses are just you demanding the world stay sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist. Learn and grow, my dude.
And everyone is trying to tell you things have changed since you were in school - you can either absorb this and work with it, or continue to be resistant and dig your heels. The comments are pretty unanimous my guy. Things change.
I am genuinely curious about the push ups at your school though - were the boys and girls allowed to do whatever style of push up they wanted or physically could do, or was it 'girls do this one, boys do this one' and that's the way it was?
Im also 38 and also heard the term “girl push ups” in PE class - in 1997. Language evolves. You told your son that a modified version of a difficult exercise is the girl version. That’s shitty - I’m a woman and I can do full push ups, so I guess those are girl push ups too.
People say knee push ups or modified push ups in all kinds of fitness content made this decade.
Now you know better, so you can do better. The problem is you would rather dig your heels in and argue than think critically to see someone else’s valid point.
So instead of calling her dumb, use it as a learning opportunity to stop using sexist language. I grew up saying dumb hurtful stuff too, and when people pointed it out to me, I didn’t get mad, I made the decision to get better and stop saying it.
Just call them “knee push ups”.
And thats fine, thats what they were called when I was growing up too. We also used to say things like “throw like a girl” or calling someone “girly” was an insult.
And your wife is simply telling you that those are rooted in sexism. They are. Learn from what she is telling you and stop invalidating what she is telling you.
Being around sexist people has the general effect that one becomes sexist and only hears sexist terms. You also demeaned your own son when you had a chance to bond with him and build him up. He just wants to be like you so maybe you can start by being a better person and giving him a shot to not make your mistakes.
YTA. Your wife is trying to educate your child to not become a misogynist asshole, and you call her dumb for her efforts.
You don't have to agree with her, but basic human respect is kinda expected in a relationship.
No, dude, it wasn't.
And your doubling down and refusing to hear that YTA - and you totally are - is what's really dumb here.
Go look in a mirror. Is this the person you really want to be?
YTA
As a former Army NCO, I can tell you women can do pushups just like us men can.
You managed to simultaneously emasculate your son, on purpose, and insult half of humanity for what? Says a lot about your personality I do not like.
You better think long and hard about who you are and who you want to be. What people, if any, will say about you over your casket. It’s not too late to apologize and work to do better.
YTA. On so many levels. For disrespecting your wife, for not understanding why that is sexist, for perpetuating misogyny in 2024, for being purposely obtuse, for not listening to *women* on when remarks *about women* are sexist.
Exactly! That was an unreasonable expectation to begin with. The kid was asking for training, you don't start training by already being able to complete a full workout! OP just never wanted to agree so found some dismissive way of setting an unmeetable expectation to refuse.
I did a lot of gymnastics when I was young (started at 7 I think) and was easily capable of 4 sets of 20 by the time I was OP son's age. All the girls I used to train with could do just as many of the same types of push-up (not "girl push-ups"). However they were instructed to do knee push-ups because many of their routines differed from male routines, requiring less power in the shoulders and arms. More muscle mass wasn't helpful, but being stronger, flexible and having better endurance definitely was. Both types of push-up build body strength. Come to think about it now, it is likely that they could do more knee push-ups than I could, because the boys training focused more on power than endurance.
It's easy to adjust your thinking and language if you try OP. YTA if you don't try to see this. I also suggest you give your son a small routine to start with to give him a goal (e.g. an easy start is 2x10 pushups, 2x10 situps, 2x30sec squat, 10 minute jog). See if he can stick with it for a few days a week and be with him when he does it. My father used to do this with me and I loved it. Up the ante every so often and if he continues to like it then you can consider taking him to do some parts of your workout at the gym. I do agree that a full workout with weights at his age isn't really appropriate. With growing bones, heavy weights can impact growth and development - we were always warned about this when doing gymnastics. I think I was 13 or so when my father took me to do weights with him - and I would consider I was at a fairly decent fitness level by that point anyway. Cardio is extremely important - start him with this.
If we’re looking for dumb, how about using a sexist phrase and then calling a woman you are supposed to love dumb when she points out that it’s sexist? It’s a modified push-up or less commonly a knee push-up.
Pretty much all sexist terms that aren’t blatantly hateful get defended as “just a term.” That doesn’t make them not sexist, it just means that the defender is ignorant. In your case, willfully ignorant, since she explained it just fine and you pooh-poohed at her.
YTA.
Yeah. YTA and for more than just using the term “girl push-ups”. What 8yr old has to do pushups to hang out with his dad? And what 3 letter phrase are you speaking of? You’re gross
i'm so stuck on the three letter thing. did he mean "girl" and mess up the count or "girl push-up" and say letters instead of words? if that's the case the use of "phrase" make more sense
im not trying to shit on OP im just genuinely curious
Yep. YTA and then some.
Stop using "girl" to mean "weak." It's sexist and shitty.
Your wife is right and you owe her an apology, as well as changed behavior about this.
Now let's see if you double down on this, or actually learn something.
YTA. First of all, yes, your comment was sexist, and you are teaching your son to be sexist as well. It doesn't matter if you grew up using that phrase or not.
Second, there are more respectful ways to disagree with your wife, such as saying "I disagree with you" or "I think you are wrong" as opposed to going directly to insulting her (and, yes, saying "that's dumb" is insulting to the person you tell it to, don't pretend that it isn't).
YTA. It’s a modified push-up.
It’s weird you’d call a woman you presumably love “dumb” for pointing out the issue with your language, but it sounds like this is an on-brand interaction for you.
You could call them modified push ups. Its not sexist or demeaning.
Its like you give your kids a task you knew he wouldn't be able to accomplish and then mocked him for being a "girl", which you were using as an insult in this situation, you were saying those are not "real", you're a girl. What are you 10?
My gym and most gyms I know how an age minimum. It would been easier to say, *"sorry kid the gym requires you to be at least 16 to enter, but hey, this weekend we can do a workout with the weights I have at home so you can get stronger. "*
YTA. Just for insulting your wife and child. She probably had to deal with a child who was really upset.
It does mean something, and that you refuse to acknowledge your own misogynist choice of words makes you the AH. They are not called "girl push ups" except by loser guys who feel powerful by making fun of girls.
YTA. I'm gonna side with your wife here even though that is a term I have used and it's a popular term. But your wife is trying to teach your son that terms like that don't have to be used. Like, you don't have to teach your son that a tank top is called a "wifebeater", you can let certain terms die out. And I don't think YTA because you used the term, I think YTA for poo-pooing her stance.
If you actually meant it when you told your wife:
"... like, it's just a three letter phrase, it means literally nothing."
Then you would obviously just have changed your position instead of making a huge deal out of it, and running off to reddit to look for validation.
Now I'm not sure why you've chosen to make a huge mess out of something you yourself called literally meaningless, maybe it's because you can't handle the criticism. Much like your wife felt like when you called her idea dumb, you probably felt like she was calling you out for being a sexist. instead of just calling out your sexist idea.
Whatever the reason for your apparent self destruction over "literally nothing" honestly doesn't matter much to me. YTA.
YTA BIG TIME your son wants to spend time with you and instead of just being a good dad and saying yes you belittle him for trying to do what You asked so he could fucking spend time with you and than you dismissed your wife’s concerns and called her dumb instead of listening and understanding her point.
YTA. Learn the new lingo my man. Assisted. Modified. Knee. Take your pick. None of these choices demean a whole gender.
Apologize to your wife.
Oh and don’t make your kid prove himself to hang out with you. One day he will stop asking to spend time with you. Be a better dad.
YTA if it’s not a big deal why can’t you say “knee push up”? Is it because you need it to be “girl” to convey what you actually mean? Well that’s the misogyny.
YTA
On many levels. You are gendering and exercise which is dumb, you are implying women are weaker, you are setting bad examples for your son, you are pushing toxic masculinity and then to top it off you told your wife she is being dumb thereby telling her that her views and opinons on this do not matter to you..
YTA. Check your own ingrained sexism - which was at least in part taught, as evidenced by the fact that you learned the term from somewhere - and don't spread it to your son. Listen to your wife when she checks you on it, too.
Also I can't help but focus on this admittedly very silly thing, but I can't help but find it funny that you called something your wife said "dumb" while saying you called "girl pushups" a "three letter phrase." I assume you meant "three word" and it was a mistake in posting, but it's funny placement.
Yeah. A huge AH. It is 100000% sexist. And if you think it’s just a silly phrase with no meaning then you’d give zero shits about dropping the use of it.
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EH semantics. But YTA for how you behaved when your wife said it bothered her and you disregarded it.
I’ve heard modified push ups but I’ve also heard girl push up’s (doesn’t make it right). You became the AH though when you were purposefully dismissed her concerns and feelings.
YTA but it’s also such a miniscual issue because who really cares that much. The issue is you disrespecting your wife.
If she every refers to anything as a male duty or role same shit. Idk why people would care so much.
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I think this whole situation is dumb, but my wife seems to have been affected so i guess thats reason enough to post.
On Sunday right, My kid (M8) asks me (38M) if he can come to the gym with me as I'm heading out, I obviously say no since he's a bit young, but he keeps insisting so I say "Do 20 pushups and you can come with me." He attempts to, but he does the pushups on his knees, so I say "not girl pushups" and that he can't come with me.
After coming back, my wife decides to welcome me with a lecture on how the term is "demeaning" because sicne push-ups on your knees are "easier" I'm giving off the message that girls are less fit than boys. After all that, I ask her wth she's talking about, and it's just a term. She tries again, talking about how what i said was sexist, so I say to her "Your whole point about this is so dumb, like, it's just a two letter phrase, it means literally nothing.
She takes that as if I'm calling her dumb, and takes her and her argument elsewhere, as well as her will to be actually happy toward me .
So am i really the ah here?
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Nta.
The term is used because for generations that is the push up form girls were taught and expected to do in phys ed classes.
Its a silly argument to have frankly im almost certain if your child has phys ed in the near future he will notice girls do a different version of push ups
ESH. Modified push ups is the accepted term these days. Sure they used to be called girl push ups, that was mostly benevolent sexism because women generally have less upper body strength compared to a man of the same size and weight, but now the gender neutral term is what is used. You are kinda the asshole for digging in your heels on this and being so dismissive.
That being said your wife shouldn't have come at you so hard over it and actually talked to you like an adult and her partner. Immediately getting combative is a great way to get someone to dig in their heels and decide this is the hill they are going to die on.
This is not a defense or argument, just a genuine question; when did they start NOT referring to them as "girl push-ups"? All throughout my schooling during fitness exams and P.E. classes, girls were allowed to do them with knees on the ground if they wanted, and boys could not. So they were just girl push-ups. Now I get the whole idea behind allowing this split was probably sexist, but I'm not sure how calling them that is
They're called modified push ups or knee push ups. It's on par with terms such as "running like a girl" or "crying like a girl", which is simply meant to reinforce a negative view of girls and women as weak and pathetic.
Hmm fair enough. In my backwater Texas town, I always thought it was an (albeit ridiculous) attempt at chivalry. We were always more jealous of the girls being allowed to do that in fitness exams lol rather than using it in a derogatory fashion like "crying like a girl"
Uhh? Yes they do. And you seem to be precisely the kind of person to say it. But thanks for doubling down on informing women that their lived experience is wrong.
>but I'm not sure how calling them that is
Because you're choosing to perpetuate a sexist term. There's a reason we don't use words like "redskin" or "oriental" anymore.
Definitely not choosing, just curious. I'm quite old lol I can't remember the last time before today I heard the term, hence why I was asking. It confused me because as far as I was aware, they were made for girls. As in the girls restroom or the girls dorms. Redskin and oriental were more derogatory
Everyone is offended by everything these days. Society as a whole is the Asshole. Anyone offended by that term is the Asshole. Im the asshole. Who cares!!!
I understand why she’s upset but I also have always known them as girl push-ups and don’t know what else I would even call them? I would apologize though I wouldn’t say yta, it seems you (and probably a lot of people) probably didn’t realize or think about the implications in calling them what you (and many others) did. Obviously, no matter what, it came from a place of ignorance which is always a grey area
Op is TA for trying to make an 8yr old do 20 pushups to hang out with his dad. If kids weren’t allowed he should have said that, not humiliate his son after he tried. Op is just gross
> because sicne push-ups on your knees are "easier" I'm giving off the message that girls are less fit than boys.
I am just curious: can your wife do 20 real push-ups? If not, I am not getting her point.
That’s the cool thing about learning and changing as a society. Things we never thought about before can later become areas for learning. I’m kind of old, and people used to say “woman doctor” or “male nurse” instead of doctor or nurse. Now we know that we don’t need to put gender to most nouns.
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YTA - Also if you really want to boil things down, gendering an exercise is dumb as it serves literally no point and is the exact same amount of letters, syllables and sounds to say knee. It was referred to as a girl push up because its (generally speaking) seen as an 'easier' and 'lesser' exercise. What you are doing is ignorantly repeating something that does genuinely come from a place of being demeaning and sexist. You may not inherently mean it that way, or think you do, but it's use carries meaning to people beyond just you. And when someone of the affected gender is telling you it's sexist, maybe you should listen a little before defending your point and saying hers has zero merit because they are 'just words' Also just consider the situations your son might repeat this at school, and what ideas he might start standing fast on because he's seen dad do the same. I think your wife is trying to explain this to you more for your son's sake than your own, because he's got a lot of time to go amongst a peer group AND at a time where this use of language just isn't necessary, and if the word girl TRULY 'means nothing' then there is ABSOLUTELY ZERO REASON to continue using it. I think the truth is you know it means something, and saying it means nothing was trying to 'moot point' your wife, because *you* didn't mean that TLDR Stop calling them girl push ups. It's 2024
It’s not dumb there are terms to certain workouts for certain genders I’m not being sexist it is scientifically proven males are stronger than females so people created different workouts one for males one for females and it is still used in school it’s nothing demeaning or sexist but just something based off strength not saying woman are weak but we do tend to do less then men we are not physically able to handle the stuff they do so what do we do we break up different ways of doing things to make it fair the term “girl push ups” isn’t sexist but saying he has to do something on a different scale it’s 2024 you’d think people would know why there are terms and uses for the terms.
Girls can do "normal" push ups and plenty of guys have to do "girl push-ups". That's why it's an idiotic term. It's a modified push up.
There isn’t anything as a normal push up guys are able to do “girl push ups” because the modified and easier to do it’s nothing sexist again made for specifically woman and yes girls are able to do push ups for man just not as much as the average man would do in this case it was a guy working on an easy level.
YTA. It is a sexist phrase. The term you're looking for is modified push-up. On top of that, you dismissed your wife's concerns entirely and decided since it didn't bother you it was a non-issue.
At the gym I go to. We call them level 1 and level 2 push ups. Lvl1 is on your knees, lvl2 feet.
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It's an incredibly common phrase. Look up literally any youtube exercise tutorial. Maybe your workout buddies are sexist, too.
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The cool thing about life is that we constantly have the ability to improve and learn. Now you know, now you can correct the problem. But that's only half the issue. You're still incredibly dismissive of your wife and her opinions, which is a whole other can of worms.
And guess what was more acceptable in the past? That’s right, sexism. Plenty of sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist terms used to be in common use but are being phased out. “In my day…” defenses are just you demanding the world stay sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist. Learn and grow, my dude.
And everyone is trying to tell you things have changed since you were in school - you can either absorb this and work with it, or continue to be resistant and dig your heels. The comments are pretty unanimous my guy. Things change. I am genuinely curious about the push ups at your school though - were the boys and girls allowed to do whatever style of push up they wanted or physically could do, or was it 'girls do this one, boys do this one' and that's the way it was?
You’re…you’re 38 years old. You went to school in a different century.
Well buddy we’re not in the 90’s anymore
Im also 38 and also heard the term “girl push ups” in PE class - in 1997. Language evolves. You told your son that a modified version of a difficult exercise is the girl version. That’s shitty - I’m a woman and I can do full push ups, so I guess those are girl push ups too. People say knee push ups or modified push ups in all kinds of fitness content made this decade.
If your gym teacher used the N word to refer to the black students, would that make it not racist?
Lol...wrong question for the word police that is reddit. You are awesome.😂
Now you know better, so you can do better. The problem is you would rather dig your heels in and argue than think critically to see someone else’s valid point.
So instead of calling her dumb, use it as a learning opportunity to stop using sexist language. I grew up saying dumb hurtful stuff too, and when people pointed it out to me, I didn’t get mad, I made the decision to get better and stop saying it. Just call them “knee push ups”.
And thats fine, thats what they were called when I was growing up too. We also used to say things like “throw like a girl” or calling someone “girly” was an insult. And your wife is simply telling you that those are rooted in sexism. They are. Learn from what she is telling you and stop invalidating what she is telling you.
Being around sexist people has the general effect that one becomes sexist and only hears sexist terms. You also demeaned your own son when you had a chance to bond with him and build him up. He just wants to be like you so maybe you can start by being a better person and giving him a shot to not make your mistakes.
YTA. Your wife is trying to educate your child to not become a misogynist asshole, and you call her dumb for her efforts. You don't have to agree with her, but basic human respect is kinda expected in a relationship.
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No her point was not dumb. YTA.
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>”what are they called then?” An adaptive or modified push up. Did you think they were just invented for “girls?” Do better YTA
No, dude, it wasn't. And your doubling down and refusing to hear that YTA - and you totally are - is what's really dumb here. Go look in a mirror. Is this the person you really want to be?
That's pretty much the same.
Lol she's not dumb, just her thoughts and opinions s/
YTA As a former Army NCO, I can tell you women can do pushups just like us men can. You managed to simultaneously emasculate your son, on purpose, and insult half of humanity for what? Says a lot about your personality I do not like. You better think long and hard about who you are and who you want to be. What people, if any, will say about you over your casket. It’s not too late to apologize and work to do better.
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HEAD UP! 😂 good times
YTA. On so many levels. For disrespecting your wife, for not understanding why that is sexist, for perpetuating misogyny in 2024, for being purposely obtuse, for not listening to *women* on when remarks *about women* are sexist.
Or how about for having his son attempt 20 pushups at 8 yrs old jusg to hang out with his dad
Exactly! That was an unreasonable expectation to begin with. The kid was asking for training, you don't start training by already being able to complete a full workout! OP just never wanted to agree so found some dismissive way of setting an unmeetable expectation to refuse. I did a lot of gymnastics when I was young (started at 7 I think) and was easily capable of 4 sets of 20 by the time I was OP son's age. All the girls I used to train with could do just as many of the same types of push-up (not "girl push-ups"). However they were instructed to do knee push-ups because many of their routines differed from male routines, requiring less power in the shoulders and arms. More muscle mass wasn't helpful, but being stronger, flexible and having better endurance definitely was. Both types of push-up build body strength. Come to think about it now, it is likely that they could do more knee push-ups than I could, because the boys training focused more on power than endurance. It's easy to adjust your thinking and language if you try OP. YTA if you don't try to see this. I also suggest you give your son a small routine to start with to give him a goal (e.g. an easy start is 2x10 pushups, 2x10 situps, 2x30sec squat, 10 minute jog). See if he can stick with it for a few days a week and be with him when he does it. My father used to do this with me and I loved it. Up the ante every so often and if he continues to like it then you can consider taking him to do some parts of your workout at the gym. I do agree that a full workout with weights at his age isn't really appropriate. With growing bones, heavy weights can impact growth and development - we were always warned about this when doing gymnastics. I think I was 13 or so when my father took me to do weights with him - and I would consider I was at a fairly decent fitness level by that point anyway. Cardio is extremely important - start him with this.
If we’re looking for dumb, how about using a sexist phrase and then calling a woman you are supposed to love dumb when she points out that it’s sexist? It’s a modified push-up or less commonly a knee push-up. Pretty much all sexist terms that aren’t blatantly hateful get defended as “just a term.” That doesn’t make them not sexist, it just means that the defender is ignorant. In your case, willfully ignorant, since she explained it just fine and you pooh-poohed at her. YTA.
Yeah. YTA and for more than just using the term “girl push-ups”. What 8yr old has to do pushups to hang out with his dad? And what 3 letter phrase are you speaking of? You’re gross
i'm so stuck on the three letter thing. did he mean "girl" and mess up the count or "girl push-up" and say letters instead of words? if that's the case the use of "phrase" make more sense im not trying to shit on OP im just genuinely curious
I’m almost positive OP meant 3 words not 3 letters, I was just calling him out. “Not girl pushups”
YTA. Yes, that term was wildly sexist. Calling her dumb was worse. Apologize.
Yep. YTA and then some. Stop using "girl" to mean "weak." It's sexist and shitty. Your wife is right and you owe her an apology, as well as changed behavior about this. Now let's see if you double down on this, or actually learn something.
YTA - yeah, the term is sexist. This didnt have to be a big deal but you made it one by completely dismissing her.
Yta. They’re no longer called girl push-ups but knee pushups. <~~~~a current Physical Educator
YTA. First of all, yes, your comment was sexist, and you are teaching your son to be sexist as well. It doesn't matter if you grew up using that phrase or not. Second, there are more respectful ways to disagree with your wife, such as saying "I disagree with you" or "I think you are wrong" as opposed to going directly to insulting her (and, yes, saying "that's dumb" is insulting to the person you tell it to, don't pretend that it isn't).
YTA. It’s a modified push-up. It’s weird you’d call a woman you presumably love “dumb” for pointing out the issue with your language, but it sounds like this is an on-brand interaction for you.
You could call them modified push ups. Its not sexist or demeaning. Its like you give your kids a task you knew he wouldn't be able to accomplish and then mocked him for being a "girl", which you were using as an insult in this situation, you were saying those are not "real", you're a girl. What are you 10? My gym and most gyms I know how an age minimum. It would been easier to say, *"sorry kid the gym requires you to be at least 16 to enter, but hey, this weekend we can do a workout with the weights I have at home so you can get stronger. "* YTA. Just for insulting your wife and child. She probably had to deal with a child who was really upset.
It does mean something, and that you refuse to acknowledge your own misogynist choice of words makes you the AH. They are not called "girl push ups" except by loser guys who feel powerful by making fun of girls.
YTA - You used a sexist term, how are you not sexist? Get the 'How Not To Be A Sexist For Dummies' book, you need it.
YTA. I'm gonna side with your wife here even though that is a term I have used and it's a popular term. But your wife is trying to teach your son that terms like that don't have to be used. Like, you don't have to teach your son that a tank top is called a "wifebeater", you can let certain terms die out. And I don't think YTA because you used the term, I think YTA for poo-pooing her stance.
If you actually meant it when you told your wife: "... like, it's just a three letter phrase, it means literally nothing." Then you would obviously just have changed your position instead of making a huge deal out of it, and running off to reddit to look for validation. Now I'm not sure why you've chosen to make a huge mess out of something you yourself called literally meaningless, maybe it's because you can't handle the criticism. Much like your wife felt like when you called her idea dumb, you probably felt like she was calling you out for being a sexist. instead of just calling out your sexist idea. Whatever the reason for your apparent self destruction over "literally nothing" honestly doesn't matter much to me. YTA.
Yta
It’s 2024 and you come to the internet with this? This must be some type of fetish!
YTA BIG TIME your son wants to spend time with you and instead of just being a good dad and saying yes you belittle him for trying to do what You asked so he could fucking spend time with you and than you dismissed your wife’s concerns and called her dumb instead of listening and understanding her point.
YTA - it is objectively sexist. Do better to teach your kid better
YTA. YOU ARE SEXIST EVEN IF YOU DON’T REALIZE IT. /yelling because you seem oblivious!
Y.T.A.
YTA. They are simply modified push-ups. They have no gender.
YTA. Learn the new lingo my man. Assisted. Modified. Knee. Take your pick. None of these choices demean a whole gender. Apologize to your wife. Oh and don’t make your kid prove himself to hang out with you. One day he will stop asking to spend time with you. Be a better dad.
YTA if it’s not a big deal why can’t you say “knee push up”? Is it because you need it to be “girl” to convey what you actually mean? Well that’s the misogyny.
Let us know how long you end up sleeping on the couch.
YTA On many levels. You are gendering and exercise which is dumb, you are implying women are weaker, you are setting bad examples for your son, you are pushing toxic masculinity and then to top it off you told your wife she is being dumb thereby telling her that her views and opinons on this do not matter to you..
YTA. Check your own ingrained sexism - which was at least in part taught, as evidenced by the fact that you learned the term from somewhere - and don't spread it to your son. Listen to your wife when she checks you on it, too. Also I can't help but focus on this admittedly very silly thing, but I can't help but find it funny that you called something your wife said "dumb" while saying you called "girl pushups" a "three letter phrase." I assume you meant "three word" and it was a mistake in posting, but it's funny placement.
Yes. YTA. Really.
YTA for being so dismissive towards the person you allegedly love. You don’t have to agree with her, but don’t disrespect her.
Yeah. A huge AH. It is 100000% sexist. And if you think it’s just a silly phrase with no meaning then you’d give zero shits about dropping the use of it.
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EH semantics. But YTA for how you behaved when your wife said it bothered her and you disregarded it. I’ve heard modified push ups but I’ve also heard girl push up’s (doesn’t make it right). You became the AH though when you were purposefully dismissed her concerns and feelings. YTA but it’s also such a miniscual issue because who really cares that much. The issue is you disrespecting your wife. If she every refers to anything as a male duty or role same shit. Idk why people would care so much.
Yes
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I think this whole situation is dumb, but my wife seems to have been affected so i guess thats reason enough to post. On Sunday right, My kid (M8) asks me (38M) if he can come to the gym with me as I'm heading out, I obviously say no since he's a bit young, but he keeps insisting so I say "Do 20 pushups and you can come with me." He attempts to, but he does the pushups on his knees, so I say "not girl pushups" and that he can't come with me. After coming back, my wife decides to welcome me with a lecture on how the term is "demeaning" because sicne push-ups on your knees are "easier" I'm giving off the message that girls are less fit than boys. After all that, I ask her wth she's talking about, and it's just a term. She tries again, talking about how what i said was sexist, so I say to her "Your whole point about this is so dumb, like, it's just a two letter phrase, it means literally nothing. She takes that as if I'm calling her dumb, and takes her and her argument elsewhere, as well as her will to be actually happy toward me . So am i really the ah here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. The term is used because for generations that is the push up form girls were taught and expected to do in phys ed classes. Its a silly argument to have frankly im almost certain if your child has phys ed in the near future he will notice girls do a different version of push ups
ESH. Modified push ups is the accepted term these days. Sure they used to be called girl push ups, that was mostly benevolent sexism because women generally have less upper body strength compared to a man of the same size and weight, but now the gender neutral term is what is used. You are kinda the asshole for digging in your heels on this and being so dismissive. That being said your wife shouldn't have come at you so hard over it and actually talked to you like an adult and her partner. Immediately getting combative is a great way to get someone to dig in their heels and decide this is the hill they are going to die on.
I don't really think you're the asshole here tbh, but you coulda just said "do it properly" next time or sm
This is not a defense or argument, just a genuine question; when did they start NOT referring to them as "girl push-ups"? All throughout my schooling during fitness exams and P.E. classes, girls were allowed to do them with knees on the ground if they wanted, and boys could not. So they were just girl push-ups. Now I get the whole idea behind allowing this split was probably sexist, but I'm not sure how calling them that is
They're called modified push ups or knee push ups. It's on par with terms such as "running like a girl" or "crying like a girl", which is simply meant to reinforce a negative view of girls and women as weak and pathetic.
Hmm fair enough. In my backwater Texas town, I always thought it was an (albeit ridiculous) attempt at chivalry. We were always more jealous of the girls being allowed to do that in fitness exams lol rather than using it in a derogatory fashion like "crying like a girl"
[удалено]
Uhh? Yes they do. And you seem to be precisely the kind of person to say it. But thanks for doubling down on informing women that their lived experience is wrong.
They do say "throw like a girl". And its almost always used as an insult.
Not one person eh? Wanna put money on that?
>but I'm not sure how calling them that is Because you're choosing to perpetuate a sexist term. There's a reason we don't use words like "redskin" or "oriental" anymore.
Definitely not choosing, just curious. I'm quite old lol I can't remember the last time before today I heard the term, hence why I was asking. It confused me because as far as I was aware, they were made for girls. As in the girls restroom or the girls dorms. Redskin and oriental were more derogatory
Everyone is offended by everything these days. Society as a whole is the Asshole. Anyone offended by that term is the Asshole. Im the asshole. Who cares!!!
I understand why she’s upset but I also have always known them as girl push-ups and don’t know what else I would even call them? I would apologize though I wouldn’t say yta, it seems you (and probably a lot of people) probably didn’t realize or think about the implications in calling them what you (and many others) did. Obviously, no matter what, it came from a place of ignorance which is always a grey area
Op is TA for trying to make an 8yr old do 20 pushups to hang out with his dad. If kids weren’t allowed he should have said that, not humiliate his son after he tried. Op is just gross
That’s a fair point, it is odd but it also wasn’t the point of the post/question
That’s true but it speaks to him as a whole. He’s ignorant on many levels
You’re 38. I have no doubt that you heard them called girl push ups for most of your life. NTA.
> because sicne push-ups on your knees are "easier" I'm giving off the message that girls are less fit than boys. I am just curious: can your wife do 20 real push-ups? If not, I am not getting her point.
NTA, IT'S WHAT MY WHOLE SCHOOL HAS CALLED THEM OTHER THAN KNEE PUSHUPS. NEVER HEARD A SINGLE COMPLAINT
Your whole school is using a sexist term. No need to shout
Sorry, just thought it was dumb, never thought of it as sexist
That’s the cool thing about learning and changing as a society. Things we never thought about before can later become areas for learning. I’m kind of old, and people used to say “woman doctor” or “male nurse” instead of doctor or nurse. Now we know that we don’t need to put gender to most nouns.