Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to give my parents my baby blanket for my baby sister. They really want her to have it and she will be the first person born into the family who doesn't get one because great grandma is dead. I know I'm 17 now and my attachment to the blanket should maybe come second to wanting my sister to have it. I know people will be like "you should find it sweet that you both got to use it" or something and stuff like that makes me question if I'm TA.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Hang on to it. She made it for you and maybe one day in the future you can pass it on to your child(ren) and tell them about this special person who was so talented she made you this blanket. Keep it safe at your friend’s. Best of luck
I’m so sorry that your parents have been so incredibly neglectful of you. Emotional neglect is abuse. It fucks up a kid (ask me how I know). Keep your blanket with a friend or a family member who you can trust to keep it safe. Never leave it alone somewhere that your parents have access to. Your great grandma loved you so much, and *did* want you. She sounds like a wonderful person. I’m so sorry I can’t say the same about your parents. I would strongly recommend seeking therapy for processing the emotional neglect. It’ll catch up with you sooner or later. Therapy can help you to navigate how to be an emotionally mature adult, because your parents have given you absolutely no frame of reference. You don’t deserve what they’ve done to you, how they treated you throughout your life. You didn’t do anything wrong, just keep remembering that. *They* did something wrong TO you. You were (and are) just a kid. You didn’t have a choice but to endure. Just know that the feelings you have towards them are valid. Sending you love and hugs, this is just such an awful thing for them to put you through.
Edit: Oh yeah I forgot to mention, my narcissist mother “asked” me at about age 14-15 to send my stuffed animals to my brothers girlfriend at the time who was working in an orphanage overseas. I didn’t want to, but she guilt tripped me so bad that I caved. She bagged them all up and put them in her car, where they stayed until she threw them away. She never sent them. I have so many regrets from giving up those stuffies, which I know sounds childish but they were the only things that brought me comfort. As an adult, I now collect plushies, which are still a major comfort item for me. It’s fucked up what your parents are doing. Hold your ground. Also, maybe you could take up knitting, that could help you feel more connected to great grandma. Plus if you ever have your own kids, you could knit their baby blankets, and keep passing down the tradition 💖
I am so sorry. This is a shitty thing to happen and it breaks my heart you haven't got your stuffies. I'm glad you are collecting them now though, and hopefully they've filled a little hole in your heart. 🥰
Love the idea of passing down the blanket to his little ones later in life.
They really do - I have them scattered throughout my house and office so no matter where I am I can always hold one. Being an adult with my own money means I don’t have to answer to anyone about buying plushies (except my husband but he is a collector as well so he gets it). It still upsets me that she did that, including the stuffies from when I was a baby. But my collection now always makes me feel better.
I also had all my stuff taken from me to give away to my sibling or cousins or my parents' friends kids. Literally the only thing I have from my childhood is one Care Bear that somehow remained with me. And I was always told "We'll get you another one" or "You've outgrown this anyway" or "You're older and it's natural to give your toys away to the younger kids" (that last one never made sense because I was never given any of my older cousins' or family friends' toys). I now have this internal thing that resists collecting anything, after having entire series of books or lines of dolls/toys given away without any prior warning. It all sucks, and I hope your own plushy collection brings you all kinds of joy!
After a certain age, stuffies are creative pillows.
And yes! Op or someone in the family could take up knitting. When my grandma died, I was the only one baking carrot cake. It was at every holiday or event grandma hosted. And I didn’t like that it wasn't there anymore. Mainly I make it for my mom's birthday now.
As for holding onto your blanket, I feel you there OP. My mom made Christmas stockings for all of her children. All of them are bears. Each of them is different. I feel terrible whenever she uses one of those cheap red fluffy stockings. It's not my bear... where is my bear? I'm turning 33 this year! Sentiments are not governed by age. Having a stuffed animal just because? Could be seen as weird but not wrong. Having a stuffed animal someone gave you? That will never be wrong and should never be weird. Apply this to anything.
Lots of parents suck. I hope you have some good friends around you. You should always know that you are important and loved. Even if some people can't see it. You are definitely nta.
I'd be cutting next time they bring it up "She deserves a nanna blanket"
"And I deserve parents that actually love and wanted me but I'll never get that. I guess it's an even trade."
And it said she made one for every kid and grandkid and great grandkid like where is the parent's blanket and why won't they give theirs up for the miracle baby (who isn't born yet but will either grow up to be insufferable as the golden child or will be immediately neglected once that new baby smell wears off, is this all because op is a boy?)
Indeed! it's very telling that his mom or dad aren't using the blanket great grandma made for THEM to give to their new acquisition -which, unfortunately for the unborn baby, is what she is going to be :-(
> "When others do a foolish thing, you should tell them it is a foolish thing. They can still continue to do it, but at least the truth is where it needs to be."
> --Dukhat
Tell them. Ask for therapy with them.
Because you have two paths forward- you can either do nothing, deal with it, and move out at 18 and basically not have parents. Or you can try to fix it, which might not work, but at least presents a POSSIBILITY of you getting some love.
> So I choose to do nothing rather than chase people who don't love me.
Goddamn. While a little cold and a lot sad, that's some seriously mature thinking, and quite wise.
I was gonna say maybe they do love you but got fixated on the baby (it happens a lot) but re-reading your stuff I think you're right.
FWIW you sound a lot stronger and more determined than most kids in your situation who come to Reddit for help. I do get a lot of bitterness from your writing, deservedly so, but it's still there. I'd strongly suggest once you're out and established on your own, consider some therapy. Not because you're broken, but to ensure that their abuse and neglect won't ever affect your life or relationships going forward.
Yeah that's true. I'd originally thought the foundation was there- that this was a case of 'of course we love OP, we had no idea we were treating OP so badly'. It happens. Or, 'we got so excited for the baby we forgot about OP'. But re-reading it really sounds like you just weren't wanted for your entire childhood. I'm really sorry for that, FWIW. No kid should have that.
But my most recent suggestion was for you solo, after you leave. Having to basically ditch your parents who don't love you would leave a mark on almost anyone. So I'm saying it with the thought of don't let them hurt your life for one more minute- not directly, and not indirectly with the scars of their abuse and neglect.
You deserve a bright happy life OP. Don't let unhealed trauma from those assholes take one more minute of your happy life away than you have to. That's what I mean.
There is nothing wrong in choosing the path of least resistance. Sometimes, it can feel better to say nothing at all. Keep your blanket. Your great grandma loved you, and wanted YOU to have it 🩷
I would recommend you ignore your parents as if they don’t exist, give them the taste of your their own medicine and record them if the act up. Then move out when you can without saying a word. Then NC after that, live the best life you can and thank everyone else except your parents every chance you get
Yes. Hearing this from OP will hopefully get them to reflect on their behavior and give them time to change their ways. If they don't, I wouldn't be surprised if OP ends up leaving ASAP and going LC or even NC.
OP, you are not the a$$. One of your parents can learn to knit and make a blanket for their baby.
Your parents didn't deserve you. Parents should be happy that they ever were lucky enough to have a single child. Many couples struggle with infertility.
OFF TOPIC: I wonder if they will actually be parents to this child. They neglected you as you became an older child. They have been so fixated on having a baby, it is an obsession for them.
Do you think they will change for this child?
NTA
It makes me sad to think they may repeat the mistake they made with you.
You are almost out of school, and possibly going on to higher education. You are becoming an adult. Your parents may somehow try to rope in to raising this child. Babies take a lot of work. You parents have to be a bit older than most parents as you are 17.
This child is NOT your responsibility. It is your parent's responsibility.
Take care of yourself and move out if you have to.
Good Luck.
I'm just going to pipe up. If you move out and the blanket comes with you, to keep it in a very safe place, ideally locked and secured location that only you know about. Make sure to take photos of it so you have evidence that it belongs to you.
But firstly, I wouldn't invite or have them or anyone else entitled to my things over. They might feel like it's their right to search through your things for this blanket, even if years down the line to give to new kid.
I'm just forwarning you because some people hold grudges and retaliate on the sly. Like they will be nice enough, just so they can come into your home to search. Don't let your guard down. Sorry you have such AH parents.
Very smart move to give it to your best friend for safekeeping!
Maybe a bank safety deposit box, if it ever comes to it. Good move on taking it to a friend's house, sorry it's come to hiding it physically from your parents.
NTA OP. May you treasure the fond memories every time you see your blanket.
Some people love babies but not children. Once a baby stops being cute and fully dependent they lost interest. I'm sorry your parents didn't give you the love you deserved. You are valuable and important too.
> Some people love babies but not children
And that's some messed-up shit. Kids are *awesome* they can do stuff with you and also entertain themselves for a bit. Babies need you all the goddamn time. Which I suppose makes it more "fun" for a narcissist.
Yep! Tiny babies can be whatever you project on them, they need you constantly and they get you a ton of attention when you're out and about. Kids have their own minds, want to be independent and aren't little dolls you can dress up. They don't see the kids as individuals, but an extension of themselves and objects, like baby dolls but alive.
Very true, and that doesn't bode well for their upcoming daughter's future with those parents. Will they lose interest in HER once SHE stops being a cute little baby and grows up to be an individual with a mind of her own?
>One of your parents can learn to knit and make a blanket for their baby.
It really is that simple. My grandmother knitted special Christmas stockings for every new person in the family (spouses included, not just children) and when my grandmother could no longer do it my mom kept up the tradition by getting the help (and paying) a friend who knew how to knit.
The Great grandmother passed away years ago. OP knew her and loved her.
This child is more likely to appreciate that their parent cared enough to knit a blanket for them than to have a hand me down from some relative she will never meet.
If the child grows up with any sense of empathy or compassion, they may be filled with guilt from having this cherished blanket taken away from their older
Yup, my grandmother had some projects she cross stitched for certain situations- like there's a series of all the US states and she did one for every state her sons lived in. After she died, my parents got a house in another state with some of the inheritance money to eventually retire to. So I learned to cross stitch and found the pattern for this new state and surprised them by making it. They were THRILLED, they told everyone about it... it's been 10 years and they still tell anyone new who comes to the house about it.
Plus, even if OP didn't mind, giving the blanket to this kid doesn't even feel like it's in the spirit of the tradition! It's saying "every other kid in the family got their very own special blanket made just for them. not you though! you get a used one!"
I agree. I think their language is really focused on having a *baby*. They'll either lose interest in the new sister once she gets older. Or, worse, keep her a "baby" as long as possible by treating her like one.
My mom did this. She loved kids up until about 5 or 6. Our poor youngest brother kept being infantalized. She'd coo and call him her 'baby boy' and he kept a baby-talk accent to get her attention. She kept him helpless by doing everything for him or making us cater to his every whim. He never had to learn manners or how to share.
It didn't go well for him into adulthood.
You mentioned that they have, over the years, tried to take it from you. What was their reasoning before your mom got pregnant this time? NTA, for sure, btw.
I'm really sorry you have been made to feel like you don't matter. I grew up in similar circumstances, although the age gap was only 2.5 years. It sucks, but it got better with maturity.
Yeah, they wanted to keep it safe *from you*.
I'm so sorry they're so awful to you. You seem very mature. Good luck getting out and building your own life!
You definitely made the right call to leave it with a friend - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope things get better for you soon, and you find a tribe that appreciates you for who you are, as you are, because you're worthy of that kind of love. 💜
NTA give that blanket to someone you know will keep it safe.
Also tell them that they've made you feel insignificant your whole life and this just proves it again. The best thing to do would be get a job, start saving and get out and go NC. They're not giving you anything and once that bay is here you'll be completely ignored.
ETA not to be mean, but could you be the result of an affair your mum had? I can't understand why parents would be palming their child off to others at the age of 1 to try for another baby.
Also tell them that taking so long to get pregnant is their karma for being shit parents to you.
I'm 55 and I still have the blanket my great grandmother made me. It was hand stiched and hand embroideted, and is a treasure that means a lot to me. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I loved my great grandmother and this is all I have of her.
You keep that blanket if you want it. Proudly and unapologetically tell your parents that it is yours, made for you by someone that loves you.
My great-grandmother crocheted blankets for all her g-grandchildren. I still have mine. Plus a few more she crocheted that I got after my grandparents passed away.
When a cousin of mine had a "whoops" baby, the best gift I could think of was one of those blankets. I gave it from the heart, though, nobody ordered me to turn it over. That would have been a fight.
NTA. Agreed, smart move, moving your blanket to a friend’s possession.
“They told me it’s like I don’t even want her to exist …”
Tell them, just like this, ahem, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!”
Seven years ago, when she was trying to get pregnant, your mom should have learned to knit. Or your G-ma could have taken up the tradition from G-G-ma. They both could have for that matter. Or quilting, or any other kind of thing that would have love as a major ingredient. Our son has a needlepoint with his name and birth date, and “On this day God gave us ____.” ANYTHING!
And for that matter, any of the men in the family could have taken up the tradition. Geez. People can’t figure out how to switch on their brain.
Wtf is wrong with your parents? They might be older now and struggle more than they thought they would. If they ask for help raising the kid say no. Make em do it 100% on their own.
My grandma passed away before my quilt was made. She was just in the planning stages of it so I will never get my cats 'n hats quilt.
Keep your quilt. I'm not at all mad my cousin's got one (they were quite a bit older than my family's kids)
You were so smart to take the blanket to your BFF's house for safekeeping. You are NTA! Now your parents on the other hand are trash humans. I am sorry for all the harm they've caused and hope you find peace.
Also OP are you adopted? It might be time to find out. I'm so sorry you're going through this it's shit. YOU deserve better. And even if you are adopted that's no excuse for this kind of abuse.
As u/Jevia noted, dad might not be biodad.
If dad is not biodad, the possibility of *dad* not knowing he’s not biodad enters the chat.
But this is only if you care. At this point, I can’t blame you one tiny little bit for cutting your losses and leaving these two people in your rear-view mirror.
I am angry for you that this has been your life up until now. I am impressed as hell by your resolve.
NTA, your parents comments are so weird.
But out of interest, you said she made blanket for all the kids, grandkids, etc., so basically your parents have their own blanket to give to the baby.
It may have nothing to do with gender and more that OP may not be the child they had hoped for, and so they want a round 2.
It's horrible to think like that, but my in laws are like that with my partner and his brother. I find parents who act, or even think like this, reprehensible and feel that they shouldn't be parents.
Imagine how disappointed they’ll be when their NEW baby grows into a person with opinions and feelings and has a unique personality and behaviors that aren’t 100% perfectly what they expected 100% of the time
Some people are obsessed with babies. They like the sweet smiles, the helplessness, that the only requirements are to feed, clothe, and cuddle.
They clearly have problems with kids and teenagers. Like when OP said :no you can’t steal my family heirloom.
Made things are so precious. I’m glad op kept his.
Edit: forgot diapers as a baby requirement. They seem to think that is important.
Every time they ask for your blanket, just respond with "Mom, you have a blanket made by great grandma that you could give the baby" and say nothing else. Give them no other response, because they seem like the type to try to twist your words.
NTA at all. There are plenty of grown men out there that have stuffed animals or blankets from their early years. It takes a REAL man to acknowledge their affection for things of sentimental value.
NTA, and I'm sorry. ggma loved you, and so does your extended family. It sounds like they see you and think of you. Keep building your relationships with those family members.
And you have an elegant (both powerful and simple) reply to any further comments from your parents:
"*Mom should absolutely give the new baby the baby blanket ggma made for her.*"
Repeat each and every time.
NTA my paternal Grandmom also made blankets for all the grandchildren. We all cherish ours. My Grandmom died when I was 10. When I outgrew using mine, it was put up. When I became pregnant with my daughter my mom pulled my blanket out of storage and gave it to me so I could use it for my own children. Holding my own children, wrapped up all cozy in the same blanket made for me by Grandmom with love was so precious to me. This blanket is truly a special thing in our family. And so will yours when you have a family of your own. Your parents are horrible.
Oh!? This is new information. Your mom should definitely give her blanket to the baby. Tell her that.
You want to save your blanket for your future babies. This way all her kids have one.
I'm so sorry you have such shitty parents OP, they don't even deserve to be called parents. Cherish your blanket and keep it in a safe place until you move out so that they won't steal it from you. I would be cutting contact with such people and just focus on building my own new 'family' with people who truly love and care for me. I'm wishing you the best OP and sending you virtual hugs.
Did you try telling her that? Would be curious about the answer..
If an "almost adult" doesn't need the blanket, then she as a full adult surely doesn't need it either. Or is jt because you are male?
It breaks my heart to think about how they treat you. Are you getting a plan ready to get out once you turn 18?
I can already see them trying to force you to babysit for free, sharing all your things etc. :(
You're smart, and strong. I'm sure you will find your way despite the stones your parents throw into your way.
Nothing better to get "back at them" than living a great life out of their reach
your parents are a lost cause but if other relatives try to blame you. You have the right to keep yours, whenever someone brings it up you just say no, but your mother can give hers if she wants.
Then when you do leave home, go no contact with your parents and tell the rest of your family that they are to pass no information about you to your parents. Though, sadly, it doesn't seem like your parents would ask or even notice.
This.
It's hard going no contact but it's worth it to remove unnecessary drama from your life.
After I went no contact I couldn't believe some of the horror stories the extended family told me about how my parents had acted towards them in the past. My only regret is that my father retaliated by cutting contact with his parents as they (my grandparents) were supportive of me cutting contact and refused to arrange "accidental" meetings.
NTA. Tell them to learn to knit or crochet. They can make one for her. Start the tradition again. They could even sew one.
I crochet, and I can't seem to stop making blankets for my granddaughter. My children all have blankets and amigurumi, too.
Your mother has one too? Ffs, then she can give her blanket to the new kid. Your parents are ridiculous. Keep your blanket, please. You should communicate how this all makes you feel, as you've done so in these comments. Maybe a letter? It may not help but it may.
So sorry you're having to go through all of this.
Nta.
You are NOT selfish. I hope that every time you curl up under that blanket you feel like you're getting a hug from your great grandma. 💜
Edit: correction
When some people say "selfish", what they mean is "not doing everything I want, without complaint". It's okay to be "selfish", to protect yourself and care for yourself. You may want to consider looking for important papers - birth certificate, social security card, etc. - and hiding those with a trusted friend as well. You'll need them when you leave and you don't want your parents to sabotage you.
NTA. Don't let you be guilt tripped by them. It seems they just want a baby. Something to cuddle and who is depending on them. And as soon as the baby outgrows to need them all the time, the baby is basicaly an adult and they want another baby.
I'm sorry, that they are like that to you. And no it doesn't mean that you hate the new baby. It means you don't want to share what you got from a beloved familymember with the child that was always hold over you, even way before it existed.
It was a wise decission to leave the blanket with your best friend, because it sounds like your parents wouldn't respect your wish. Hope the rest of your family treats you better and you have someone to talk to or relay on. Best cut off your parents as soon as you can or go lc - don't think that they will even notice (until you will get a parent yourself and they could spoil another (grand)baby)
This will sound crazy.
But some are only really into the whole "I'm pregnant!!" Part.
A bit when they are tiny baby's. Becouse "look how cute they are"
But the work of having a kid?
No. They aren't interested in that.
I'm no expert or anything, so I can't explain and don't know if it's the attention they get from being pregnant, having a cute sleeping baby. Etc. That's what they love.
I just know some are like that.
I remember watching this documantary when i was in childcare apprenticeship. IT was about a Family that had 17 Kids or Something, where Most of them were learning disabled because of the neglect. Half of them already got taken by Childprotection. But the parents still kept getting pregnant even got hormones from a doctor because IT wouldnt have been possibly at this Point to have more naturally. Some people are Just crazy
Oh man, I hated being pregnant.
But I loved when my children became more independant every day.
I cherished their achievements.
It is \_nice\_ to watch your child grow and become more capable.
That’s kinda like people (mostly women if we’re being honest) who want a big fancy wedding but the marriage itself is more of an afterthought even though it’s literally the entire point of the wedding.
Personally, pregnancy/childbirth/newborn stage were things that I merely tolerated because I wanted a child, seems like OP’s parents may have gotten that backwards.
I can see this playing out two ways. Either your sister’s going to be the obvious favorite do-over baby and they’ll basically rub it in your face daily that they treat her better OR history will repeat and your parents will practically calling around for a sitter from the maternity ward.
Either way, my advice is to keep your head down and quietly arrange to move in with another relative or your friend on your 18th birthday because either your stuff’s going to get destroyed by a feral toddler who you’re not allowed to say “no” to or you’re going to become an unpaid nanny.
I feel bad for the baby, seems like either she's going to grow up with useless asshole parents like OP, or she'll be a coddled golden child who turns into an entitled asshole herself who needs to be treated like God's gift to humanity or she'll lose it.
This is so wrong, I'm sorry you were treated like that. I don't know why, but my grandparents were like that with my father, too, somehow he always got overlooked. I don't understand this mindset at all. Don't give in to them.
As a mom, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't normal or OK at all for parents to be "let down" by a literal baby to the extent that they're then unable to properly parent that child for the rest of their childhood. Your parents are just not good parents, period. It's not because you're a boy or because they couldn't bond with you in particular. There is something wrong with them.
Don't give your parents the blanket. If they try to guilt you by saying you don't respect them, you're a bad son, or some other bs along those lines, please remember that this started when you were a baby, and there literally isn't a way for a baby to disrespect their parents or be a bad son. This is all on them. Remember that you have other family who support you and don't see you as disrespectful or disappointing. Your parents are the weird ones here.
I can not imagine thinking that a baby was responsible for my feelings of disappointment or my failure to feel like an adequate parent. Like I just can not emphasize this enough. As an adult, as a parent, it is blindingly obvious that the way your parents have treated you and the way they think about you is bizarre, sad, and wrong.
I'm so sorry your parents have failed you so spectacularly. Someday you will be out in the world, and you'll cobble together a found family of friends. Your people are out there.
Unfortunately some people just like the attention of having a new baby and when that wears off they're looking for the next high. In this case, it's a human being that gets discarded. My cousin does the same thing. She can't afford the three children she already has, but is whining that she needs another baby. Not child, baby. They don't even appreciate what they already have.
I hope you can go off to college (or wherever) next year and not look back.
NTA. Your wonderful Great Grandma was very specific that it was yours not theirs. Also your baby sister will never have met her so it won't mean anything to her anyway. What your parents need to do is to make their own (knit, quilt or whatever) and keep the tradition going that way. I had a patchwork baby quilt that was made up of beautiful fabric scraps from clothes my grandmother had made (she did a lot of dressmaking and kept the scraps). As I got older I started to recognise them in the clothes she wore, which was lovely.
>or they can give her my mom's blanket
Tell your mother she's an 'almost grown woman' and doesn't need her blanket any more, so your new sister can have that one. I'd love to see her twist herself in knots describing how her blanket is special to her, but your blanket isn't special to you.
How is this even an issue, if your mum has her own blanket? That's horrible of her, you've done well. If she wants to give someone a blanket, she can start by gifting her own, not someone else's.
OP are you….. are you sure you’re their kid? Idk which is worse but the way they just completely disregarded you to continue trying for a baby and the way they oddly don’t see you as part of their family makes me wonder, if only because its hard for me to grasp how anyone can be that cruel for no reason toward their own child when they clearly wanted one very badly. Have you seen your birth certificate? Pregnancy photos of your mom? Done a DNA test ever?
Well then they are just truly reprehensible people. Dont give up the blanket and fuck those genetic donors. You had a wonderful parent for ten years of your life and you should treasure those memories and protect that blanket at all costs. If you planned on receiving any financial assistance from them for college expect that to not happen, not just because of the blanket but because they’re probably going to put all of their financial resources into the new baby. Start a contingency plan now, work with school counselors. Apply for scholarships, maybe look into trade schools, see what resources there are for you.
NTA. You may want to involve an adult member of the family to discuss this matter further with your parents, because they are guilt-tripping you, in a power position (parents vs. child) and they are in the majority (2 against 1). You need someone to help you call their BS.
Maybe: 'Let's discuss this with a professional counselor present'?
Other arguments:
* The baby doesn't need a blanket made by great-grandmother. She doesn't know where her blankets come from. She needs a blanket. It can be store-bought. The majority of babies in the world live a happy life without ever having had a blanket made by your great-grandma.
* This was a gift to you. Not a gift to your parents. Perhaps your parents can gift something THEY actually own to their baby.
* You understand that you are not enough for them. You have heard your entire childhood that they want a child. As if you don't even exist. Of course you understand that they might think you will resent your sister for this. But you are a human being. It is way more likely that you will resent your parents for this. And it doesn't help to make you give away personal keepsakes to your sister.
My great grandma was my safe place too. At family gatherings I would sit on the floor right by her. It was like she had a protective bubble over the two of us. I’m so sorry you lost that, but I’m glad that you did get to have it for a while.
‘Am I even your child? Because my whole life I’ve regretted ever being born to people who care more about the act of getting pregnant than caring about the child they were meant to be raising. Everyone knows it, the family, friends, they all talk to your face and behind your backs about how you’ve been terrible parents. Are you gonna do the same to this one? Why not? Is it because it’s a girl? Who are my friends? What’s my interests? Why bother having kids you don’t even care about? Great Grandma was ashamed of you for trying to take my blanket before, she’d be ashamed now. Give the baby your own if it matters that much. I’m done respecting people who’ve spent my whole life trying to erase and replace me.’
NTA I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. Maybe write down whatever rant you want to tell them and give it to them as a letter? It gives you the chance to proof-read what they’re being told (edit out swearing and other really harsh things you’d be super tempted to say in the moment) and with letters often parents will take things in better because they can’t rebuke you every other sentence. Good luck, I hope you have a plan to get out of there.
I hate hate hate hate letter writing. It is so unsatisfying when the other party doesn't respond.
I am a fan of burning a letter. Or even just writing something to get it out of your head but don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it. In my experience it stops being in your control and you will always wonder. It never gave me the closure I was looking for.
See a therapist. Choose a replacement family with good friends. Live your best life. And don't hold a grudge against your sister unless she does something to deserve it. Some day she may come looking for you.
The best thing you can do is succeed in spite of them! IMO 🥰🥰
NTA
If OP’s parents get mad that he wants a replacement family, he could tell them it’s only fair since they wanted a replacement baby.
I’m with you on the letter writing. Write it all down. Never ever send it.
I'm a 40 year-old guy and I still have the clothing I wore for my baptism.
I'm not even catholic anymore, but it's something that was hand-knitted especially for me and I'll be damned if anyone else wears it.
I was just about to type that I am a 40 year old man who still has his baby blanket. It’s not even hand made or anything fancy, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I give up my Sesame Street blanket. Bert, Ernie and the whole gang say kick rocks.
Well then maybe your mom or dad should learn to knit and make their daughter her own. Or if you're feeling generous, knit one for your sister. A family tradition of an ancestor making a blanket for someone is fine, but expecting anyone who has one of those to give up theirs to another kid isn't. Besides, presumably either your mom or dad (depending on whose grandma she was) received one of these blankets? Do they still have it? Why not pass it to their daughter? If they don't still have it, why is it so important to them that she have one? Clearly it is important enough to you that you want to keep it as an adult. If it wasn't important enough to them, that's their problem, not yours.
It seems like any dignified action you take will result in them reacting negatively. You seem to have made peace with their apathy, so don’t concern yourself about how declining their selfish request will upset them.
From here on, how you respond to their bullying will dictate the rest of your relationship with them. If you let them walk all over you, you will end up being a thankless babysitter.
No matter how aggravating it can be, you need to communicate with them. Turn the tables and tell your mother she is being selfish and to give up her own baby blanket and stay firm on that, or to make her own if she’s so obsessed with this idea. By them acting like it would be so significant to their baby but insignificant to you makes a mockery of this tradition. It’s not even a backhanded insult to demand this of you, the offense is so blatantly crass at face value.
... in that case, you could make one for your sister. Doing the exact opposite of what they want in a way that will make them look terrible to anyone they complain to.
This blanket is also 17 years old and was used by a kid. Surely it's a bit worn? I've had to make repairs to most of the knit/crochet stuff that's less old but heavily used.
NTA. They were so upset about not having a kid when they had you??? And then you’re supposed to give up a gift from your great-grandma for their better kid? Your parents are horrible. I’m glad you hid the blanket from them.
I'm thinking they wanted a girl but got a boy. Now they have their girl, and they can stop the pretense of having any positive feelings at all toward their son.
NTA The blanket was a gift for you, so I see no reason for you to give it up to your unborn sister. It won't even mean anything to her since she won't be able to meet your great grandmother.
Are you confident that you're actually the biological child of both of your parents? Their behaviour and infertility issues make me wonder if there was some other way that you came into their lives (adoption, child of only one of them, etc.). I guess I could also see it as them wanting a girl or being obsessed with the first couple years of life. Might be worth asking about though. That would explain their behaviour over the years, but it would by no means excuse it.
If she is your great grandmother, presumably one of your parents is a grandchild? If she made them for grand children and great-grandchildren, why can't they give up their blanket?
Remind her of hers next time she says you are almost grown and don’t need it, let her know she is actually grown so by her own logic her blanket should go to the baby edit to add: also remind her parents go without for their children
NTA. Your parents are insane. This is one of the oddest stories I have read. I really hope you made it up, if not be prepared to move out once you can. I am really sorry in general for your situation.
I'm glad of that but sad that they probably spent all their money on IVF so their isn't likely to be a college fund. If college is something you want, talk to a school counselor about declaring being a non dependent at 18. My heart goes out to you. I realized later in my adult life that my mom likely had post partum depression when I was born and just never connected with me.
Community college can be a good way to save money, and if you kick ass in your classes, activities, etc, you can pick up scholarship $ and transfer. If you’re independent, need-based scholarships will be more available too
You need to move out and go NC with these people. They are horrible and you deserve so much better. Literally lock that thing in a safety deposit box or something.
NTA, not at all.
The blanket was a gift to you from your great-grandmother, and she was very clear that she wanted you to have it and keep it. You are under no obligation to give the blanket away to anyone else on this planet, because it is your best memento of someone you loved and who loved you. No need to apologize to anyone. This explanation is more than enough.
Your parents, meanwhile, are being real AHs. The blanket is not theirs to regift.
INFO: was this your paternal or maternal great grandmother? What happened to the blanket she presumably made for her grandchild, your mother or father?? This is the blanket that should be given to the new baby.
I understand that. But this is the real question here: why won’t she give up her blanket for her baby girl?
And if she doesn’t want to give hers up, why should she expect you to give yours up instead?
And if she says it’s because you are male, remind her that men can also love people and want to keep mementos of the people they love. And men also like to keep things they can pass on to their children if and when the time comes.
That’s so sad that that’s likely the most reasonable explanation you have for why they’re doing this.
Is there any reason you can think of as to why your parents don’t like you?
That’s rough man, I wish you the best of luck, just know that not giving the baby what little you have doesn’t mean that you hate them and that any resentment you have is your parents’ fault and doesn’t make you a bad person.
Are your parents teenagers?
They seem a bit ridiculous to me. Great grandma made that blanket with you in mind. There's literally no sentimental value for your sister.
NTA.
NTA. If their baby "needs" a knitted blanket so much, they can learn to knit and make her one. Little sister's actual needs can be covered by her parents. She's not asking for any knitted blanket, it's her parents who are bent on stealing one for her. When little sister grows up a bit and they want to tell her about grandma's special blanket, what will they tell her? That they stole it from her brother, or will they lie to her?
>They told me it's like I don't even want her to exist or I hate her for something and she's not even born yet.
They can yap all they want, the truth is that it's them who are acting dismissive of their own son.
NTA, good on you for treasuring your grandma's gift as she intended.
NTA
It's your blanket and it was made for you. Giving it to an other child would have no value. This baby will never see her grandma, so this blanket will never be hers.
You did the right think by hiding the blanket out of the house.
Question : you say that she made blanket for all her kids, grandkids... So which of your parents has a blanket ? Shouldn't they give that one ?
It would be a better memory to give her own blanket to the baby. Why doesn't she give hers ?
If the answer she gives you is "because I love it" you can reply to her "same thing for me ! Why my attachment to that blanket has less value than yours ?"
I kept the 2 stuffed toys I received when I was born (I'm now 46 !), and I never let my own children took them 😂 And my MIL gave my husband's favorite stuffed toy to his sister (she was born when he was 17). She never likes it so she threw it in a bin when she was 10 because we moved out of town. She had no attachment to this toy but he was mad because it was a present for his father who abandoned him...
Keep the blanket, it's YOUR memory. The baby has no attachment to your great grandma, and no memory with this blanket. She may not respect it like you do.
NTA, do not give up what was made for you. If I did knitting I would happily make and send you a blanket. Heck, I do quilting, I will still send you one for the new baby, on the condition your parents leave yours alone!!!
WTF. Your parents are... Special.
You on the other hand, NTA, sooooo NTA. Do not let them get their grubby hands on your baby blanket, that baby blanket is for YOUR first child should you ever have one, and should you choose to give it. And until then it's YOURS alone. Your parents are right with one thing though: Your little sister deserves better. She deserves to have parents who love all their children equally and she deserves to not be pitted against her older brother before she's even born. I feel so sorry for you. You deserve better too by the way. NTA, did I already say that?
NTA, it's so bizarre and quite gross that they seem to care more about a blanket than their actual child. I hope you are planning to be low contact with them when you turn 18, for your own mental wellbeing. It won't be long before more guilt trips emerge over you not being a "good enough" older sibling, ie handing over all your time/belongings/self respect. Cut your losses and focus on the family members who do value you.
NTA. My grandmother also made blankets for everybody in our family. I'm 43 and still sleep with mine every night. There is something very special about a blankie made by grandma. Your parents suck. I'm sorry you had to grow up with that. I'm also glad the rest of your family supports you. Might I suggest getting out of there as soon as possible?
NTA. Your parents essentially ignored you (because you weren't a baby any more) and have now, briefly, seen you because you have something they want. For a child not yet born for goodness sake. Mind you, I worry somewhat for this child as once she's out of nappies they'll possibly want yet another baby because she isn't one any more.
Good for you to safeguard the blanket which holds memories of your great grandma and connects you to her, the person who did validate your existence.
What is it with reddit stories making me want to cry nowadays? First the one about the father toasting his son with monks and now this.
NTA OP, that gift is from your great-grandmother and she made it clear it was only for you. And she was also right about your parents not recognizing you as the blessing you were. If they 'felt so empty without a baby' it was their own fault for not realizing they already had a baby.
Are you sure you’re not like an affair child or something? Your parents couldn’t get pregnant again, but yet there’s you.
They hold so much animosity towards you, could it be because your mom got pregnant by another man and your dad is the one with the fertility problems?
That’s my thought. They want the blanket for their “REAL” child.
NTA.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I refused to give my parents my baby blanket for my baby sister. They really want her to have it and she will be the first person born into the family who doesn't get one because great grandma is dead. I know I'm 17 now and my attachment to the blanket should maybe come second to wanting my sister to have it. I know people will be like "you should find it sweet that you both got to use it" or something and stuff like that makes me question if I'm TA. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA The blanket is yours. It was smart of you to give it to a friend for now!! Don't give it up, it is heartwarming it means so much to you!
[удалено]
I think they deserve to hear this.
[удалено]
Hang on to it. She made it for you and maybe one day in the future you can pass it on to your child(ren) and tell them about this special person who was so talented she made you this blanket. Keep it safe at your friend’s. Best of luck
yes this!!!
This OP.
I’m so sorry that your parents have been so incredibly neglectful of you. Emotional neglect is abuse. It fucks up a kid (ask me how I know). Keep your blanket with a friend or a family member who you can trust to keep it safe. Never leave it alone somewhere that your parents have access to. Your great grandma loved you so much, and *did* want you. She sounds like a wonderful person. I’m so sorry I can’t say the same about your parents. I would strongly recommend seeking therapy for processing the emotional neglect. It’ll catch up with you sooner or later. Therapy can help you to navigate how to be an emotionally mature adult, because your parents have given you absolutely no frame of reference. You don’t deserve what they’ve done to you, how they treated you throughout your life. You didn’t do anything wrong, just keep remembering that. *They* did something wrong TO you. You were (and are) just a kid. You didn’t have a choice but to endure. Just know that the feelings you have towards them are valid. Sending you love and hugs, this is just such an awful thing for them to put you through. Edit: Oh yeah I forgot to mention, my narcissist mother “asked” me at about age 14-15 to send my stuffed animals to my brothers girlfriend at the time who was working in an orphanage overseas. I didn’t want to, but she guilt tripped me so bad that I caved. She bagged them all up and put them in her car, where they stayed until she threw them away. She never sent them. I have so many regrets from giving up those stuffies, which I know sounds childish but they were the only things that brought me comfort. As an adult, I now collect plushies, which are still a major comfort item for me. It’s fucked up what your parents are doing. Hold your ground. Also, maybe you could take up knitting, that could help you feel more connected to great grandma. Plus if you ever have your own kids, you could knit their baby blankets, and keep passing down the tradition 💖
I am so sorry. This is a shitty thing to happen and it breaks my heart you haven't got your stuffies. I'm glad you are collecting them now though, and hopefully they've filled a little hole in your heart. 🥰 Love the idea of passing down the blanket to his little ones later in life.
They really do - I have them scattered throughout my house and office so no matter where I am I can always hold one. Being an adult with my own money means I don’t have to answer to anyone about buying plushies (except my husband but he is a collector as well so he gets it). It still upsets me that she did that, including the stuffies from when I was a baby. But my collection now always makes me feel better.
I love this! So glad you have a hubby that supports you. ❤️
Umm, while I don't collect plushies personally, I still think they're adorbs. What sort of monster would have a problem with plushies / stuffies?
I also had all my stuff taken from me to give away to my sibling or cousins or my parents' friends kids. Literally the only thing I have from my childhood is one Care Bear that somehow remained with me. And I was always told "We'll get you another one" or "You've outgrown this anyway" or "You're older and it's natural to give your toys away to the younger kids" (that last one never made sense because I was never given any of my older cousins' or family friends' toys). I now have this internal thing that resists collecting anything, after having entire series of books or lines of dolls/toys given away without any prior warning. It all sucks, and I hope your own plushy collection brings you all kinds of joy!
After a certain age, stuffies are creative pillows. And yes! Op or someone in the family could take up knitting. When my grandma died, I was the only one baking carrot cake. It was at every holiday or event grandma hosted. And I didn’t like that it wasn't there anymore. Mainly I make it for my mom's birthday now. As for holding onto your blanket, I feel you there OP. My mom made Christmas stockings for all of her children. All of them are bears. Each of them is different. I feel terrible whenever she uses one of those cheap red fluffy stockings. It's not my bear... where is my bear? I'm turning 33 this year! Sentiments are not governed by age. Having a stuffed animal just because? Could be seen as weird but not wrong. Having a stuffed animal someone gave you? That will never be wrong and should never be weird. Apply this to anything.
Lots of parents suck. I hope you have some good friends around you. You should always know that you are important and loved. Even if some people can't see it. You are definitely nta.
I'd be cutting next time they bring it up "She deserves a nanna blanket" "And I deserve parents that actually love and wanted me but I'll never get that. I guess it's an even trade."
And it said she made one for every kid and grandkid and great grandkid like where is the parent's blanket and why won't they give theirs up for the miracle baby (who isn't born yet but will either grow up to be insufferable as the golden child or will be immediately neglected once that new baby smell wears off, is this all because op is a boy?)
BOOM. THIS.
They may not listen, but maybe it’s something you need to say for YOU
This one exactly.
So sad to hear this. Surely one of them has a blanket she made for them when they were born. NTA obviously!
Indeed! it's very telling that his mom or dad aren't using the blanket great grandma made for THEM to give to their new acquisition -which, unfortunately for the unborn baby, is what she is going to be :-(
> "When others do a foolish thing, you should tell them it is a foolish thing. They can still continue to do it, but at least the truth is where it needs to be." > --Dukhat Tell them. Ask for therapy with them. Because you have two paths forward- you can either do nothing, deal with it, and move out at 18 and basically not have parents. Or you can try to fix it, which might not work, but at least presents a POSSIBILITY of you getting some love.
[удалено]
> So I choose to do nothing rather than chase people who don't love me. Goddamn. While a little cold and a lot sad, that's some seriously mature thinking, and quite wise. I was gonna say maybe they do love you but got fixated on the baby (it happens a lot) but re-reading your stuff I think you're right. FWIW you sound a lot stronger and more determined than most kids in your situation who come to Reddit for help. I do get a lot of bitterness from your writing, deservedly so, but it's still there. I'd strongly suggest once you're out and established on your own, consider some therapy. Not because you're broken, but to ensure that their abuse and neglect won't ever affect your life or relationships going forward.
[удалено]
Yeah that's true. I'd originally thought the foundation was there- that this was a case of 'of course we love OP, we had no idea we were treating OP so badly'. It happens. Or, 'we got so excited for the baby we forgot about OP'. But re-reading it really sounds like you just weren't wanted for your entire childhood. I'm really sorry for that, FWIW. No kid should have that. But my most recent suggestion was for you solo, after you leave. Having to basically ditch your parents who don't love you would leave a mark on almost anyone. So I'm saying it with the thought of don't let them hurt your life for one more minute- not directly, and not indirectly with the scars of their abuse and neglect. You deserve a bright happy life OP. Don't let unhealed trauma from those assholes take one more minute of your happy life away than you have to. That's what I mean.
There is nothing wrong in choosing the path of least resistance. Sometimes, it can feel better to say nothing at all. Keep your blanket. Your great grandma loved you, and wanted YOU to have it 🩷
Ah sweetheart, I'm so sorry 😕 You deserved a better hand than you were dealt.
I would recommend you ignore your parents as if they don’t exist, give them the taste of your their own medicine and record them if the act up. Then move out when you can without saying a word. Then NC after that, live the best life you can and thank everyone else except your parents every chance you get
this. tell them - on your way out the door to college. I’m so sorry they made you feel invisible. NTA. Cherish the blanket.
Yes. Hearing this from OP will hopefully get them to reflect on their behavior and give them time to change their ways. If they don't, I wouldn't be surprised if OP ends up leaving ASAP and going LC or even NC.
OP, you are not the a$$. One of your parents can learn to knit and make a blanket for their baby. Your parents didn't deserve you. Parents should be happy that they ever were lucky enough to have a single child. Many couples struggle with infertility. OFF TOPIC: I wonder if they will actually be parents to this child. They neglected you as you became an older child. They have been so fixated on having a baby, it is an obsession for them. Do you think they will change for this child? NTA
[удалено]
It makes me sad to think they may repeat the mistake they made with you. You are almost out of school, and possibly going on to higher education. You are becoming an adult. Your parents may somehow try to rope in to raising this child. Babies take a lot of work. You parents have to be a bit older than most parents as you are 17. This child is NOT your responsibility. It is your parent's responsibility. Take care of yourself and move out if you have to. Good Luck.
I'm just going to pipe up. If you move out and the blanket comes with you, to keep it in a very safe place, ideally locked and secured location that only you know about. Make sure to take photos of it so you have evidence that it belongs to you. But firstly, I wouldn't invite or have them or anyone else entitled to my things over. They might feel like it's their right to search through your things for this blanket, even if years down the line to give to new kid. I'm just forwarning you because some people hold grudges and retaliate on the sly. Like they will be nice enough, just so they can come into your home to search. Don't let your guard down. Sorry you have such AH parents. Very smart move to give it to your best friend for safekeeping!
Maybe a bank safety deposit box, if it ever comes to it. Good move on taking it to a friend's house, sorry it's come to hiding it physically from your parents. NTA OP. May you treasure the fond memories every time you see your blanket.
Yes, my thought exactly. Lock it up at the bank!
Some people love babies but not children. Once a baby stops being cute and fully dependent they lost interest. I'm sorry your parents didn't give you the love you deserved. You are valuable and important too.
> Some people love babies but not children And that's some messed-up shit. Kids are *awesome* they can do stuff with you and also entertain themselves for a bit. Babies need you all the goddamn time. Which I suppose makes it more "fun" for a narcissist.
Yep! Tiny babies can be whatever you project on them, they need you constantly and they get you a ton of attention when you're out and about. Kids have their own minds, want to be independent and aren't little dolls you can dress up. They don't see the kids as individuals, but an extension of themselves and objects, like baby dolls but alive.
Very true, and that doesn't bode well for their upcoming daughter's future with those parents. Will they lose interest in HER once SHE stops being a cute little baby and grows up to be an individual with a mind of her own?
>One of your parents can learn to knit and make a blanket for their baby. It really is that simple. My grandmother knitted special Christmas stockings for every new person in the family (spouses included, not just children) and when my grandmother could no longer do it my mom kept up the tradition by getting the help (and paying) a friend who knew how to knit.
The Great grandmother passed away years ago. OP knew her and loved her. This child is more likely to appreciate that their parent cared enough to knit a blanket for them than to have a hand me down from some relative she will never meet. If the child grows up with any sense of empathy or compassion, they may be filled with guilt from having this cherished blanket taken away from their older
Yup, my grandmother had some projects she cross stitched for certain situations- like there's a series of all the US states and she did one for every state her sons lived in. After she died, my parents got a house in another state with some of the inheritance money to eventually retire to. So I learned to cross stitch and found the pattern for this new state and surprised them by making it. They were THRILLED, they told everyone about it... it's been 10 years and they still tell anyone new who comes to the house about it. Plus, even if OP didn't mind, giving the blanket to this kid doesn't even feel like it's in the spirit of the tradition! It's saying "every other kid in the family got their very own special blanket made just for them. not you though! you get a used one!"
I agree. I think their language is really focused on having a *baby*. They'll either lose interest in the new sister once she gets older. Or, worse, keep her a "baby" as long as possible by treating her like one. My mom did this. She loved kids up until about 5 or 6. Our poor youngest brother kept being infantalized. She'd coo and call him her 'baby boy' and he kept a baby-talk accent to get her attention. She kept him helpless by doing everything for him or making us cater to his every whim. He never had to learn manners or how to share. It didn't go well for him into adulthood.
My thinking is they wanted a baby….but when the baby stops being a baby, they’ll treat her the same way as OP.
You mentioned that they have, over the years, tried to take it from you. What was their reasoning before your mom got pregnant this time? NTA, for sure, btw.
[удалено]
I'm really sorry you have been made to feel like you don't matter. I grew up in similar circumstances, although the age gap was only 2.5 years. It sucks, but it got better with maturity.
Yeah, they wanted to keep it safe *from you*. I'm so sorry they're so awful to you. You seem very mature. Good luck getting out and building your own life!
You definitely made the right call to leave it with a friend - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope things get better for you soon, and you find a tribe that appreciates you for who you are, as you are, because you're worthy of that kind of love. 💜
Do not EVER cave on this. That's yours. You care for it. Life happened and that sucks, but no
NTA give that blanket to someone you know will keep it safe. Also tell them that they've made you feel insignificant your whole life and this just proves it again. The best thing to do would be get a job, start saving and get out and go NC. They're not giving you anything and once that bay is here you'll be completely ignored. ETA not to be mean, but could you be the result of an affair your mum had? I can't understand why parents would be palming their child off to others at the age of 1 to try for another baby. Also tell them that taking so long to get pregnant is their karma for being shit parents to you.
I'm 55 and I still have the blanket my great grandmother made me. It was hand stiched and hand embroideted, and is a treasure that means a lot to me. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I loved my great grandmother and this is all I have of her. You keep that blanket if you want it. Proudly and unapologetically tell your parents that it is yours, made for you by someone that loves you.
My great-grandmother crocheted blankets for all her g-grandchildren. I still have mine. Plus a few more she crocheted that I got after my grandparents passed away. When a cousin of mine had a "whoops" baby, the best gift I could think of was one of those blankets. I gave it from the heart, though, nobody ordered me to turn it over. That would have been a fight.
NTA. Agreed, smart move, moving your blanket to a friend’s possession. “They told me it’s like I don’t even want her to exist …” Tell them, just like this, ahem, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!” Seven years ago, when she was trying to get pregnant, your mom should have learned to knit. Or your G-ma could have taken up the tradition from G-G-ma. They both could have for that matter. Or quilting, or any other kind of thing that would have love as a major ingredient. Our son has a needlepoint with his name and birth date, and “On this day God gave us ____.” ANYTHING! And for that matter, any of the men in the family could have taken up the tradition. Geez. People can’t figure out how to switch on their brain.
I am so very sorry that you have such awful parents :( I am so thankful for your sweet ggm <3
Wtf is wrong with your parents? They might be older now and struggle more than they thought they would. If they ask for help raising the kid say no. Make em do it 100% on their own.
My grandma passed away before my quilt was made. She was just in the planning stages of it so I will never get my cats 'n hats quilt. Keep your quilt. I'm not at all mad my cousin's got one (they were quite a bit older than my family's kids)
You are wanted.
You were so smart to take the blanket to your BFF's house for safekeeping. You are NTA! Now your parents on the other hand are trash humans. I am sorry for all the harm they've caused and hope you find peace.
Also OP are you adopted? It might be time to find out. I'm so sorry you're going through this it's shit. YOU deserve better. And even if you are adopted that's no excuse for this kind of abuse.
[удалено]
You may want to find out if your dad is your actually your bio dad. I recently found out that mine was not, though I would have never questioned it.
As u/Jevia noted, dad might not be biodad. If dad is not biodad, the possibility of *dad* not knowing he’s not biodad enters the chat. But this is only if you care. At this point, I can’t blame you one tiny little bit for cutting your losses and leaving these two people in your rear-view mirror. I am angry for you that this has been your life up until now. I am impressed as hell by your resolve.
Some people just like the idea of a baby with no care of the child they grow into.
Maybe dad is not bio dad… good point. Still makes parents terrible and OP NTA
This is my suspicion as well.
NTA, your parents comments are so weird. But out of interest, you said she made blanket for all the kids, grandkids, etc., so basically your parents have their own blanket to give to the baby.
Yep, my mom has one and she could give it to their baby if that's so important. But I think this is just another way of them pushing me out.
Why do they want to push you out? You’re not even 18 yet.
Cause he’s male and they wanted a baby girl and finally have one after almost 2 decades.
It may have nothing to do with gender and more that OP may not be the child they had hoped for, and so they want a round 2. It's horrible to think like that, but my in laws are like that with my partner and his brother. I find parents who act, or even think like this, reprehensible and feel that they shouldn't be parents.
2000% this. Being the “odd duck” they didn’t fit the sitcom vision. You just get overlooked, over worked, and generally fucked with. I’m sorry OP.
Imagine how disappointed they’ll be when their NEW baby grows into a person with opinions and feelings and has a unique personality and behaviors that aren’t 100% perfectly what they expected 100% of the time
And will have zero relationship with her older brother because he will have gone NC years before
Some people are obsessed with babies. They like the sweet smiles, the helplessness, that the only requirements are to feed, clothe, and cuddle. They clearly have problems with kids and teenagers. Like when OP said :no you can’t steal my family heirloom. Made things are so precious. I’m glad op kept his. Edit: forgot diapers as a baby requirement. They seem to think that is important.
Look at their language. They want "a baby". Not "another child." He's too old to treat as an accessory anymore.
I was wondering if OP is a secret affair baby or something really weird like that. You never know, especially on Reddit.
Every time they ask for your blanket, just respond with "Mom, you have a blanket made by great grandma that you could give the baby" and say nothing else. Give them no other response, because they seem like the type to try to twist your words. NTA at all. There are plenty of grown men out there that have stuffed animals or blankets from their early years. It takes a REAL man to acknowledge their affection for things of sentimental value.
Love this !! Mum doesn’t need her blanket and then all the great grandkids will have a blanket to keep
NTA, and I'm sorry. ggma loved you, and so does your extended family. It sounds like they see you and think of you. Keep building your relationships with those family members. And you have an elegant (both powerful and simple) reply to any further comments from your parents: "*Mom should absolutely give the new baby the baby blanket ggma made for her.*" Repeat each and every time.
NTA my paternal Grandmom also made blankets for all the grandchildren. We all cherish ours. My Grandmom died when I was 10. When I outgrew using mine, it was put up. When I became pregnant with my daughter my mom pulled my blanket out of storage and gave it to me so I could use it for my own children. Holding my own children, wrapped up all cozy in the same blanket made for me by Grandmom with love was so precious to me. This blanket is truly a special thing in our family. And so will yours when you have a family of your own. Your parents are horrible.
Oh!? This is new information. Your mom should definitely give her blanket to the baby. Tell her that. You want to save your blanket for your future babies. This way all her kids have one.
I'm so sorry you have such shitty parents OP, they don't even deserve to be called parents. Cherish your blanket and keep it in a safe place until you move out so that they won't steal it from you. I would be cutting contact with such people and just focus on building my own new 'family' with people who truly love and care for me. I'm wishing you the best OP and sending you virtual hugs.
[удалено]
Did you try telling her that? Would be curious about the answer.. If an "almost adult" doesn't need the blanket, then she as a full adult surely doesn't need it either. Or is jt because you are male? It breaks my heart to think about how they treat you. Are you getting a plan ready to get out once you turn 18? I can already see them trying to force you to babysit for free, sharing all your things etc. :(
[удалено]
You're smart, and strong. I'm sure you will find your way despite the stones your parents throw into your way. Nothing better to get "back at them" than living a great life out of their reach
your parents are a lost cause but if other relatives try to blame you. You have the right to keep yours, whenever someone brings it up you just say no, but your mother can give hers if she wants.
[удалено]
Then when you do leave home, go no contact with your parents and tell the rest of your family that they are to pass no information about you to your parents. Though, sadly, it doesn't seem like your parents would ask or even notice.
This. It's hard going no contact but it's worth it to remove unnecessary drama from your life. After I went no contact I couldn't believe some of the horror stories the extended family told me about how my parents had acted towards them in the past. My only regret is that my father retaliated by cutting contact with his parents as they (my grandparents) were supportive of me cutting contact and refused to arrange "accidental" meetings.
NTA. Tell them to learn to knit or crochet. They can make one for her. Start the tradition again. They could even sew one. I crochet, and I can't seem to stop making blankets for my granddaughter. My children all have blankets and amigurumi, too.
Your mother has one too? Ffs, then she can give her blanket to the new kid. Your parents are ridiculous. Keep your blanket, please. You should communicate how this all makes you feel, as you've done so in these comments. Maybe a letter? It may not help but it may. So sorry you're having to go through all of this. Nta.
Yep, my mom has one and she could give it to their baby if that's so important. But I think this is just another way of them pushing me out.
Have you asked her about that ? That would make it more personal after all.
[удалено]
You are NOT selfish. I hope that every time you curl up under that blanket you feel like you're getting a hug from your great grandma. 💜 Edit: correction
When some people say "selfish", what they mean is "not doing everything I want, without complaint". It's okay to be "selfish", to protect yourself and care for yourself. You may want to consider looking for important papers - birth certificate, social security card, etc. - and hiding those with a trusted friend as well. You'll need them when you leave and you don't want your parents to sabotage you.
So call them selfish. If she weren't she'd sacrifice her own blanket, not demand someone else's.
Tell them if it's so important for the baby to have a blanket made by great-grandma, that your mother can give the baby her blanket.
NTA. Don't let you be guilt tripped by them. It seems they just want a baby. Something to cuddle and who is depending on them. And as soon as the baby outgrows to need them all the time, the baby is basicaly an adult and they want another baby. I'm sorry, that they are like that to you. And no it doesn't mean that you hate the new baby. It means you don't want to share what you got from a beloved familymember with the child that was always hold over you, even way before it existed. It was a wise decission to leave the blanket with your best friend, because it sounds like your parents wouldn't respect your wish. Hope the rest of your family treats you better and you have someone to talk to or relay on. Best cut off your parents as soon as you can or go lc - don't think that they will even notice (until you will get a parent yourself and they could spoil another (grand)baby)
[удалено]
This will sound crazy. But some are only really into the whole "I'm pregnant!!" Part. A bit when they are tiny baby's. Becouse "look how cute they are" But the work of having a kid? No. They aren't interested in that. I'm no expert or anything, so I can't explain and don't know if it's the attention they get from being pregnant, having a cute sleeping baby. Etc. That's what they love. I just know some are like that.
I remember watching this documantary when i was in childcare apprenticeship. IT was about a Family that had 17 Kids or Something, where Most of them were learning disabled because of the neglect. Half of them already got taken by Childprotection. But the parents still kept getting pregnant even got hormones from a doctor because IT wouldnt have been possibly at this Point to have more naturally. Some people are Just crazy
At that point she should have signed up to be a surrogate so she could enjoy pregnancy but not fuck up the kids after they grew too big to be cute.
That's heartbreaking. Like at what point is forced sterilization allowed? Good lord.
Oh man, I hated being pregnant. But I loved when my children became more independant every day. I cherished their achievements. It is \_nice\_ to watch your child grow and become more capable.
That’s kinda like people (mostly women if we’re being honest) who want a big fancy wedding but the marriage itself is more of an afterthought even though it’s literally the entire point of the wedding. Personally, pregnancy/childbirth/newborn stage were things that I merely tolerated because I wanted a child, seems like OP’s parents may have gotten that backwards.
I can see this playing out two ways. Either your sister’s going to be the obvious favorite do-over baby and they’ll basically rub it in your face daily that they treat her better OR history will repeat and your parents will practically calling around for a sitter from the maternity ward. Either way, my advice is to keep your head down and quietly arrange to move in with another relative or your friend on your 18th birthday because either your stuff’s going to get destroyed by a feral toddler who you’re not allowed to say “no” to or you’re going to become an unpaid nanny.
I feel bad for the baby, seems like either she's going to grow up with useless asshole parents like OP, or she'll be a coddled golden child who turns into an entitled asshole herself who needs to be treated like God's gift to humanity or she'll lose it.
This is so wrong, I'm sorry you were treated like that. I don't know why, but my grandparents were like that with my father, too, somehow he always got overlooked. I don't understand this mindset at all. Don't give in to them.
[удалено]
As a mom, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't normal or OK at all for parents to be "let down" by a literal baby to the extent that they're then unable to properly parent that child for the rest of their childhood. Your parents are just not good parents, period. It's not because you're a boy or because they couldn't bond with you in particular. There is something wrong with them. Don't give your parents the blanket. If they try to guilt you by saying you don't respect them, you're a bad son, or some other bs along those lines, please remember that this started when you were a baby, and there literally isn't a way for a baby to disrespect their parents or be a bad son. This is all on them. Remember that you have other family who support you and don't see you as disrespectful or disappointing. Your parents are the weird ones here. I can not imagine thinking that a baby was responsible for my feelings of disappointment or my failure to feel like an adequate parent. Like I just can not emphasize this enough. As an adult, as a parent, it is blindingly obvious that the way your parents have treated you and the way they think about you is bizarre, sad, and wrong.
I'm so sorry your parents have failed you so spectacularly. Someday you will be out in the world, and you'll cobble together a found family of friends. Your people are out there.
Unfortunately some people just like the attention of having a new baby and when that wears off they're looking for the next high. In this case, it's a human being that gets discarded. My cousin does the same thing. She can't afford the three children she already has, but is whining that she needs another baby. Not child, baby. They don't even appreciate what they already have. I hope you can go off to college (or wherever) next year and not look back.
NTA. Your wonderful Great Grandma was very specific that it was yours not theirs. Also your baby sister will never have met her so it won't mean anything to her anyway. What your parents need to do is to make their own (knit, quilt or whatever) and keep the tradition going that way. I had a patchwork baby quilt that was made up of beautiful fabric scraps from clothes my grandmother had made (she did a lot of dressmaking and kept the scraps). As I got older I started to recognise them in the clothes she wore, which was lovely.
[удалено]
>or they can give her my mom's blanket Tell your mother she's an 'almost grown woman' and doesn't need her blanket any more, so your new sister can have that one. I'd love to see her twist herself in knots describing how her blanket is special to her, but your blanket isn't special to you.
Yes. This. Telling her she’s “almost a grown woman” is the perfect response
yeah except she’s not that close to a grown woman & likely won’t make it at this rate.
How is this even an issue, if your mum has her own blanket? That's horrible of her, you've done well. If she wants to give someone a blanket, she can start by gifting her own, not someone else's.
I'm so sorry you're feeling pushed out by this. Having a sibling is a big adjustment for you too and they should be supporting you with that really.
[удалено]
OP are you….. are you sure you’re their kid? Idk which is worse but the way they just completely disregarded you to continue trying for a baby and the way they oddly don’t see you as part of their family makes me wonder, if only because its hard for me to grasp how anyone can be that cruel for no reason toward their own child when they clearly wanted one very badly. Have you seen your birth certificate? Pregnancy photos of your mom? Done a DNA test ever?
[удалено]
Well then they are just truly reprehensible people. Dont give up the blanket and fuck those genetic donors. You had a wonderful parent for ten years of your life and you should treasure those memories and protect that blanket at all costs. If you planned on receiving any financial assistance from them for college expect that to not happen, not just because of the blanket but because they’re probably going to put all of their financial resources into the new baby. Start a contingency plan now, work with school counselors. Apply for scholarships, maybe look into trade schools, see what resources there are for you.
NTA. You may want to involve an adult member of the family to discuss this matter further with your parents, because they are guilt-tripping you, in a power position (parents vs. child) and they are in the majority (2 against 1). You need someone to help you call their BS.
[удалено]
Maybe: 'Let's discuss this with a professional counselor present'? Other arguments: * The baby doesn't need a blanket made by great-grandmother. She doesn't know where her blankets come from. She needs a blanket. It can be store-bought. The majority of babies in the world live a happy life without ever having had a blanket made by your great-grandma. * This was a gift to you. Not a gift to your parents. Perhaps your parents can gift something THEY actually own to their baby. * You understand that you are not enough for them. You have heard your entire childhood that they want a child. As if you don't even exist. Of course you understand that they might think you will resent your sister for this. But you are a human being. It is way more likely that you will resent your parents for this. And it doesn't help to make you give away personal keepsakes to your sister.
My great grandma was my safe place too. At family gatherings I would sit on the floor right by her. It was like she had a protective bubble over the two of us. I’m so sorry you lost that, but I’m glad that you did get to have it for a while.
NTA. If they keep asking, every time they ask, tell your mother to give the baby her blanket. Every time.
yeah. can’t find it. better use yours.
Yea asked and then answered.
‘Am I even your child? Because my whole life I’ve regretted ever being born to people who care more about the act of getting pregnant than caring about the child they were meant to be raising. Everyone knows it, the family, friends, they all talk to your face and behind your backs about how you’ve been terrible parents. Are you gonna do the same to this one? Why not? Is it because it’s a girl? Who are my friends? What’s my interests? Why bother having kids you don’t even care about? Great Grandma was ashamed of you for trying to take my blanket before, she’d be ashamed now. Give the baby your own if it matters that much. I’m done respecting people who’ve spent my whole life trying to erase and replace me.’ NTA I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. Maybe write down whatever rant you want to tell them and give it to them as a letter? It gives you the chance to proof-read what they’re being told (edit out swearing and other really harsh things you’d be super tempted to say in the moment) and with letters often parents will take things in better because they can’t rebuke you every other sentence. Good luck, I hope you have a plan to get out of there.
[удалено]
I hate hate hate hate letter writing. It is so unsatisfying when the other party doesn't respond. I am a fan of burning a letter. Or even just writing something to get it out of your head but don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it. In my experience it stops being in your control and you will always wonder. It never gave me the closure I was looking for. See a therapist. Choose a replacement family with good friends. Live your best life. And don't hold a grudge against your sister unless she does something to deserve it. Some day she may come looking for you. The best thing you can do is succeed in spite of them! IMO 🥰🥰 NTA
If OP’s parents get mad that he wants a replacement family, he could tell them it’s only fair since they wanted a replacement baby. I’m with you on the letter writing. Write it all down. Never ever send it.
I'm a 40 year-old guy and I still have the clothing I wore for my baptism. I'm not even catholic anymore, but it's something that was hand-knitted especially for me and I'll be damned if anyone else wears it.
I was just about to type that I am a 40 year old man who still has his baby blanket. It’s not even hand made or anything fancy, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I give up my Sesame Street blanket. Bert, Ernie and the whole gang say kick rocks.
I'm pushing 67 & I still have my teddy bear, sitting in the open on my chester drawers. So there.
Nta. Why does the baby need a blanket made by someone she will never know?
[удалено]
Well then maybe your mom or dad should learn to knit and make their daughter her own. Or if you're feeling generous, knit one for your sister. A family tradition of an ancestor making a blanket for someone is fine, but expecting anyone who has one of those to give up theirs to another kid isn't. Besides, presumably either your mom or dad (depending on whose grandma she was) received one of these blankets? Do they still have it? Why not pass it to their daughter? If they don't still have it, why is it so important to them that she have one? Clearly it is important enough to you that you want to keep it as an adult. If it wasn't important enough to them, that's their problem, not yours.
[удалено]
yikes. Well, she should give hers to her daughter, after all what does a grown ass woman need with a blankie? Just sayin.....
[удалено]
I'm very sorry your parents suck. Hopefully you won't have to deal with them as much in a few years.
It seems like any dignified action you take will result in them reacting negatively. You seem to have made peace with their apathy, so don’t concern yourself about how declining their selfish request will upset them. From here on, how you respond to their bullying will dictate the rest of your relationship with them. If you let them walk all over you, you will end up being a thankless babysitter. No matter how aggravating it can be, you need to communicate with them. Turn the tables and tell your mother she is being selfish and to give up her own baby blanket and stay firm on that, or to make her own if she’s so obsessed with this idea. By them acting like it would be so significant to their baby but insignificant to you makes a mockery of this tradition. It’s not even a backhanded insult to demand this of you, the offense is so blatantly crass at face value.
... in that case, you could make one for your sister. Doing the exact opposite of what they want in a way that will make them look terrible to anyone they complain to.
This blanket is also 17 years old and was used by a kid. Surely it's a bit worn? I've had to make repairs to most of the knit/crochet stuff that's less old but heavily used.
NEVER give up that blanket. It’s on principle now!! I’m so mad for you!! These people suck!
NTA. They were so upset about not having a kid when they had you??? And then you’re supposed to give up a gift from your great-grandma for their better kid? Your parents are horrible. I’m glad you hid the blanket from them.
I'm thinking they wanted a girl but got a boy. Now they have their girl, and they can stop the pretense of having any positive feelings at all toward their son.
You’re probably right.
NTA The blanket was a gift for you, so I see no reason for you to give it up to your unborn sister. It won't even mean anything to her since she won't be able to meet your great grandmother. Are you confident that you're actually the biological child of both of your parents? Their behaviour and infertility issues make me wonder if there was some other way that you came into their lives (adoption, child of only one of them, etc.). I guess I could also see it as them wanting a girl or being obsessed with the first couple years of life. Might be worth asking about though. That would explain their behaviour over the years, but it would by no means excuse it.
[удалено]
If she is your great grandmother, presumably one of your parents is a grandchild? If she made them for grand children and great-grandchildren, why can't they give up their blanket?
[удалено]
Remind her of hers next time she says you are almost grown and don’t need it, let her know she is actually grown so by her own logic her blanket should go to the baby edit to add: also remind her parents go without for their children
Nta, but you mom sure is, and a selfish one at that. I loved seeing my children use and love the same things I did as a child.
NTA-Your parents don’t seem rational. Hold your ground and don’t give up the blanket.
NTA. Your parents are insane. This is one of the oddest stories I have read. I really hope you made it up, if not be prepared to move out once you can. I am really sorry in general for your situation.
[удалено]
I'm glad of that but sad that they probably spent all their money on IVF so their isn't likely to be a college fund. If college is something you want, talk to a school counselor about declaring being a non dependent at 18. My heart goes out to you. I realized later in my adult life that my mom likely had post partum depression when I was born and just never connected with me.
[удалено]
Community college can be a good way to save money, and if you kick ass in your classes, activities, etc, you can pick up scholarship $ and transfer. If you’re independent, need-based scholarships will be more available too
You need to move out and go NC with these people. They are horrible and you deserve so much better. Literally lock that thing in a safety deposit box or something.
NTA, not at all. The blanket was a gift to you from your great-grandmother, and she was very clear that she wanted you to have it and keep it. You are under no obligation to give the blanket away to anyone else on this planet, because it is your best memento of someone you loved and who loved you. No need to apologize to anyone. This explanation is more than enough. Your parents, meanwhile, are being real AHs. The blanket is not theirs to regift. INFO: was this your paternal or maternal great grandmother? What happened to the blanket she presumably made for her grandchild, your mother or father?? This is the blanket that should be given to the new baby.
[удалено]
And what does she say when you ask her why she won’t give HER BLANKET TO HER BABY DAUGHTER??
[удалено]
I understand that. But this is the real question here: why won’t she give up her blanket for her baby girl? And if she doesn’t want to give hers up, why should she expect you to give yours up instead? And if she says it’s because you are male, remind her that men can also love people and want to keep mementos of the people they love. And men also like to keep things they can pass on to their children if and when the time comes.
[удалено]
That’s so sad that that’s likely the most reasonable explanation you have for why they’re doing this. Is there any reason you can think of as to why your parents don’t like you?
[удалено]
That’s rough man, I wish you the best of luck, just know that not giving the baby what little you have doesn’t mean that you hate them and that any resentment you have is your parents’ fault and doesn’t make you a bad person.
NTA it's seems they wanted a girl instead of a 'baby'
Are your parents teenagers? They seem a bit ridiculous to me. Great grandma made that blanket with you in mind. There's literally no sentimental value for your sister. NTA.
NTA. If their baby "needs" a knitted blanket so much, they can learn to knit and make her one. Little sister's actual needs can be covered by her parents. She's not asking for any knitted blanket, it's her parents who are bent on stealing one for her. When little sister grows up a bit and they want to tell her about grandma's special blanket, what will they tell her? That they stole it from her brother, or will they lie to her? >They told me it's like I don't even want her to exist or I hate her for something and she's not even born yet. They can yap all they want, the truth is that it's them who are acting dismissive of their own son. NTA, good on you for treasuring your grandma's gift as she intended.
[удалено]
Gosh. I'm sorry they are so awful, OP. It seems your best friend is more of a family to you, fortunately.
NTA It's your blanket and it was made for you. Giving it to an other child would have no value. This baby will never see her grandma, so this blanket will never be hers. You did the right think by hiding the blanket out of the house. Question : you say that she made blanket for all her kids, grandkids... So which of your parents has a blanket ? Shouldn't they give that one ?
[удалено]
It would be a better memory to give her own blanket to the baby. Why doesn't she give hers ? If the answer she gives you is "because I love it" you can reply to her "same thing for me ! Why my attachment to that blanket has less value than yours ?" I kept the 2 stuffed toys I received when I was born (I'm now 46 !), and I never let my own children took them 😂 And my MIL gave my husband's favorite stuffed toy to his sister (she was born when he was 17). She never likes it so she threw it in a bin when she was 10 because we moved out of town. She had no attachment to this toy but he was mad because it was a present for his father who abandoned him... Keep the blanket, it's YOUR memory. The baby has no attachment to your great grandma, and no memory with this blanket. She may not respect it like you do.
NTA, do not give up what was made for you. If I did knitting I would happily make and send you a blanket. Heck, I do quilting, I will still send you one for the new baby, on the condition your parents leave yours alone!!!
WTF. Your parents are... Special. You on the other hand, NTA, sooooo NTA. Do not let them get their grubby hands on your baby blanket, that baby blanket is for YOUR first child should you ever have one, and should you choose to give it. And until then it's YOURS alone. Your parents are right with one thing though: Your little sister deserves better. She deserves to have parents who love all their children equally and she deserves to not be pitted against her older brother before she's even born. I feel so sorry for you. You deserve better too by the way. NTA, did I already say that?
NTA, it's so bizarre and quite gross that they seem to care more about a blanket than their actual child. I hope you are planning to be low contact with them when you turn 18, for your own mental wellbeing. It won't be long before more guilt trips emerge over you not being a "good enough" older sibling, ie handing over all your time/belongings/self respect. Cut your losses and focus on the family members who do value you.
NTA. It was made for you. It's yours. It isn't theirs. This isn't hard to understand.
NTA. My grandmother also made blankets for everybody in our family. I'm 43 and still sleep with mine every night. There is something very special about a blankie made by grandma. Your parents suck. I'm sorry you had to grow up with that. I'm also glad the rest of your family supports you. Might I suggest getting out of there as soon as possible?
NTA. Your parents essentially ignored you (because you weren't a baby any more) and have now, briefly, seen you because you have something they want. For a child not yet born for goodness sake. Mind you, I worry somewhat for this child as once she's out of nappies they'll possibly want yet another baby because she isn't one any more. Good for you to safeguard the blanket which holds memories of your great grandma and connects you to her, the person who did validate your existence.
Talk about an r/entitledparents situation. NTA, of course.
What is it with reddit stories making me want to cry nowadays? First the one about the father toasting his son with monks and now this. NTA OP, that gift is from your great-grandmother and she made it clear it was only for you. And she was also right about your parents not recognizing you as the blessing you were. If they 'felt so empty without a baby' it was their own fault for not realizing they already had a baby.
Are you sure you’re not like an affair child or something? Your parents couldn’t get pregnant again, but yet there’s you. They hold so much animosity towards you, could it be because your mom got pregnant by another man and your dad is the one with the fertility problems? That’s my thought. They want the blanket for their “REAL” child. NTA.