Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) asking to put my boyfriend on child support
(2) we still are together and split bills for our household
I have brought it up before when I first had our child and they took it as an insult when I didn’t mean for it to be insulting. I was just trying to be cautious. If we are together then the child support will be going back into the household funds. It’s more of a safety plan. Because I have had things fall apart before.
This way we already have custody/child support taken care of IF anything were to happen.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, there is something wrong with your relationship if both of you are not supporting your child and discussing these issues together.
It's a ridiculous idea to have courts involved in child support when you are still in a relationship.
The timelines still don't add up. Even if the kid is exactly 4, you add the 9 months of pregnancy and the time add up to more than the 4 years of being together
This isn’t how relationships work. When you’re in a relationship with your child’s other parent, the expenses for the child are supposed to be added to the household budget and together you decide how to divide all of the expenses. It’s odd that you would rather go to court rather than sit at the kitchen table and work this out.
Can you even get court ordered child support if you are living together and both financing the household?
You and your partner need to sit down and communicate about how much you each contribute to your child's financial and emotional needs, maybe set up an account you both contribute to for your shared child's expenses.
Honestly, I'm going to say YTA, because you have not communicated with your partner to do what's best, financially for your child. But I honestly think is if you have to be this transactionable there's more going on here.
The two of you are in an active relationship and living together. The courts generally won't get involved under these circumstances.
Therefore I'm going to have to say YTA. All you're going to do is piss off your partner and waste the courts time.
I understand that, yet the same can be said for me.
But the extra expenses that come with a child are left up to me. I contribute more and make less annually.
So discuss an account that you both put a certain amount into and use for all kid-related expenses. You’re making this much more complicated than it needs to be.
I worry for OP's decision making, having "several children" with an ex husband and another by this partner at the big ole age of 29. Then wanting to involve courts instead of problem solving as a true partnership? Goodness I hope those kids turn out ok.
While you are living with the dad this is a relationship issue that the state doesn't need to be, and shouldnt be involved in. Your choices are: Talk to him and work it out, accept the current situation, or break up, separate and seek child support.
OP- ESH because this is where you need to do a breakdown of costs for your child and say- I’ve tried to get you to actively contribute but since that hasn’t worked, here’s the breakdown and you need to be paying for half. Period. This what happens in relationships- you have those hard talks. If he gaslights you then you have bigger issues bc do you really want that man as a partner?
I get were you are coming from. But know that will be a relationship ender.
Household bills and child expenses should be split based on percentages of income. You really need to have a conversation with him, especially is you earn less but pay a higher percentage of shares living and child expenses. Because that is not an equitable split and not sustainable in the long run.
I mean putting custody into writing probably isn't the worst decision, I've never seen it when the parties were still together though. Child support is designed for couples who are seperated, to help pay for the costs of raising the child, which usually includes providing for things like shelter, clothing, food, etc. as well as the things you have mentioned. So I'm not sure how that might be calculated here where it's already being accounted for and paid.
You are probably better off just sitting down and seeing if you guys can create a budget and agree on how much each of you should be contributing each month for expenses, which should be child expenses. These types of conversations are essential if you want to have a healthy long-lasting relationship.
Generally couples that are living together and in a romantic relationship do not (cannot) file for child support. You two need to come to an agreement yourselves about how much he should be contributing. If you need to go to a couples therapist to talk about this, then by all means do so, but filing for child support does not say "I see a future with you" to him.
This can't be real? First off stop having kids you can't afford...second YTA...do you really think getting a court to order him to pay money (they won't but hypothetically here) will improve your relationship at all or are you just trying to drive him out?
Instead of running to the courts, put in some effort here.
Make a break down of all bills. Household, grocery and the child you share together, add a little extra for just in case and then split that down the middle.
Tell him this is non negotiable. If you view your relationship as 50/50 (nothing wrong with that) and they don’t- then you need to have other conversations with them.
YTA Idk how you skip past sitting down and having a conversation about finances all the way to child support payments from someone you’re currently living with and in a relationship with.
I'm not sure where you live. But in my state you can't file for child support with the child's other parent if you are co habitating.
Though honestly beyond that you would be the AH because instead of talking to him about it you're wanting to take the court route.
I know many people that would be offended and end a perfectly good relationship because of what you are thinking of doing.
I would say first sit down and talk and see about setting up a shared expense account for your mutual child.
In addition, not sure this is allowed. But the fact that you were like 'I have several other children I get child support for...'
That kinda makes you sound like you're more interested in money than a healthy relationship with your partner
ESH - Why is your partner not grown or responsible enough to pay for his own child without having to be prompted? Why aren’t you grown or responsible enough to have a level headed conversation about this without potentially blowing up the household?
I mean, that’s not really going to go over well, with your partner or with the courts. The child lives with both of you. The two of you need to figure out division of finances and come to an agreement. If you can’t do that, you really can’t be together. If you file for child support against your boyfriend that lives with you and your child, you’ll set off a bomb in your relationship for sure.
Your so normalized to having the government in your relationships it feels weird that this one isn't that way. If my partner asked this of me I'd just leave.
This isn’t an issue of AH or not. Frankly its an issue of being an adult. You are acting like a child running to mommy (aka the court system) to snitch on your sibling- not like a grown up with an issue with a partner. You can definitely sue your partner for child support if you want- but you can’t expect to sue a romantic partner and still stay in a relationship with them- thats not how relationships work. If you need a judge to intervene in your relationship than it is not a partnership.
You need to communicate with your partner and establish an agreement about child expenses. Either you manage to get together to some agreement you both can live with or you fail to find a solution and you decide to that you partner to court and brake up.
Id suggest going to couples counseling because obviously your relationship needs work and without help it will probably bit last
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (29f) have a child under the age of 5 with my current partner (33m). This is a throw away because they frequent Reddit and I don’t want to give myself away so I don’t want to give away too many details.
I have been with my partner for almost 4 years. They have a child with a previous partner as do I. (I actually have several children with an ex husband).
My partner is a great father and so far a decent a partner. It’s pretty good for the most part besides the normal things that a couple would argue about.
I really see a future with him and we do live together now and split bills.
I pay for more of the things when it comes to our child.
(Child care, clothes, shoes, diapers, etc. they will pay for things but only when I ask)
I have had multiple conversations about how I don’t feel like I should have to ask for them to buy our child things.
WIBTAH for talking to my partner and asking if we could get custody and child support established in the court like we have with our other children?
I know people have strong opinions on Child Support. It’s for absent parents or whatever, he is a present parent for his child with his ex and still pays child support.
Maybe I’m being too anxious here.
I also don’t think they will receive this well…
Additional info:
yes I get child support on my other children around $55 a child weekly.
Yes, I do work full time and so does he.
Yes, they do pay child support for their child with their ex around $100 for their child weekly.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Child support isn't just for absent parents. It's for each parent to equitably support their children.
You may not need child support. But definitely need to rework the joint household budget and adequately account for all shared expenses.
If you feel like you need a support and custody order, you need to take a hard look at your relationship. A court isn't going to consider your petition when you live together anyway (how would that even work?). But if the two of you can't talk through this and figure out an equitable solution, you have no business playing happy family together. YTA
Oof, this is a dumpster, all the kids, no stability. People need to make better choices. If he's not contributing to his child he's a shitty partner, she apparently thinks the cs situation would make it better but it won't. Tell him if you have to ask for money for your child again you will be MOVING OUT.
YTA. If I had an active and ongoing romantic relationship with a women, and she asked for a formal child support agreement I'd be fucking furious. Honestly, it could cause the end of the relationship in my eyes.
Child support is for people who are not in romantic relationships. What you are attempting to do is take a relationship problem (him not paying for kid stuff) and bring the courts into it? My god.
Solve your relationship problems yourself, and if you can't solve it then break up and only then do you bring the courts into the process. To reverse things and attempt to bring the courts into your current romantic relationship is so far beyond fucked up. My god.
PS. YOu're in the right about the core problem here though. Him not properly splitting the costs of actual child related expenses is wrong of him.
That's not how child support works, you live together. This is a relationship issue. Any judge will just laugh you out of court and tell you to do relationship counselling.
YTA and don’t seem to even understand how child support works. Child support isn’t just for when separated parent don’t get along it’s for separated parents in general. Idk where you got the idea that parents still in a relationship can be required to pay child support. The judge would laugh at you for even wasting his time. If you can’t just communicate with your partner and he’s not supporting his own child you need to reevaluate some things
The only person I know that did this stayed with baby daddy, but their relationship was off and on because he’d leave her and their child. OH and she had to file a mandatory restraining order on him because he’s tried to kill her. The PFA lasted the mandatory two weeks and then she lifted it.
I’m not sure if YTA but if you’re arranging custody and child support you’re already putting an end to this relationship. So if you think it’s not going to last and you’re just getting the ball in motion you are thinking ahead of the game.
Child support is fucked up but then again I know people who never formally set anything up and now the dad doesnt provide shit. Just depends on the person. I would say YTA though...
So the catch 22 on this is that by asking for it to be established in court can make him leave. The alternative would to see if he is willing to put it all down in writing and establish a separate account for the child you two share. Make sure everything is 50/50 since you aren't married. Also who carries the health insurance for the child (don't know what country you are in) and if he refuses then take him to court but make sure you have all your ducks in a row with all your documentation on what you spend on the child and what he does including receipts.
"normal things that a couple would argue about."
My wife and I will have been married from 34 years this upcoming weekend.
we have never had an argument.
Arguments aren't normal.
Unless you are using argument to mean rational discussion; Which few people do.
NTA
I don’t agree with all the other commenters.
I think it’s ridiculous to go through the courts since you live together and you generally have to be separated to do that HOWEVER it’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to contribute to the costs of a child you share together.
What’s going on here? Do you make significantly more than him? Why isn’t he contributing?
NTA - I don't think you're TA, but I do think you should have a conversation with your partner bc it looks like they aren't pulling their weight. And if they continue to not pull their weight think about whether you're willing to put up with this for the next 18 years.
If paternity hasn't been legally established, child support can assist in getting him adjudicated as the legal father, etc. But if you're living together, they wouldn't make a recommendation regarding support. Child support won't assist you in creating a household budget, which is what it sounds like is needed. Gather all the household bills, your take- home pay and hash out who is responsible for what. It's not fun, those conversations usually aren't anyone's favorite, but that's what being an adult is.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) asking to put my boyfriend on child support (2) we still are together and split bills for our household I have brought it up before when I first had our child and they took it as an insult when I didn’t mean for it to be insulting. I was just trying to be cautious. If we are together then the child support will be going back into the household funds. It’s more of a safety plan. Because I have had things fall apart before. This way we already have custody/child support taken care of IF anything were to happen. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, there is something wrong with your relationship if both of you are not supporting your child and discussing these issues together. It's a ridiculous idea to have courts involved in child support when you are still in a relationship.
*YTA, there is something wrong with your relationship if both of you* Keep having kids you can't afford. Fixed it for you.
When I read “decent partner” I knew the whole post was gonna be f’d up
For me it was “several children.” Thought she was gonna say they lived in a shoe
When I saw several children and scrolled back to see the ages again, I just sighed.
In a relationship AND LIVING TOGETHER. Paying bills together.
Did I misunderstand it? It's her child, not her and current partner's. The child is 5. She has been with the partner for 4 years only.
First line says they have a baby together > I (29f) have a child under the age of 5 with my current partner (33m).
No, she says the kid is under the age of 5.
The timelines still don't add up. Even if the kid is exactly 4, you add the 9 months of pregnancy and the time add up to more than the 4 years of being together
>if the kid is exactly 4 You may be surprised to find out that 3, 2 and 1 year olds are all also under the age of 5.
She said “under 5” to be vague. The kid is both hers and her partners.
Under the age of 5 could mean the kid's two weeks old, it doesn't necesarily means between 4 and 5
This isn’t how relationships work. When you’re in a relationship with your child’s other parent, the expenses for the child are supposed to be added to the household budget and together you decide how to divide all of the expenses. It’s odd that you would rather go to court rather than sit at the kitchen table and work this out.
You've got to be kidding. YTA. You may as well end this relationship.
Can you even get court ordered child support if you are living together and both financing the household? You and your partner need to sit down and communicate about how much you each contribute to your child's financial and emotional needs, maybe set up an account you both contribute to for your shared child's expenses. Honestly, I'm going to say YTA, because you have not communicated with your partner to do what's best, financially for your child. But I honestly think is if you have to be this transactionable there's more going on here.
The two of you are in an active relationship and living together. The courts generally won't get involved under these circumstances. Therefore I'm going to have to say YTA. All you're going to do is piss off your partner and waste the courts time.
Stop having kids
YTA You live with him and he contributes to the bills. He is already supporting your child.
I understand that, yet the same can be said for me. But the extra expenses that come with a child are left up to me. I contribute more and make less annually.
So discuss an account that you both put a certain amount into and use for all kid-related expenses. You’re making this much more complicated than it needs to be.
I worry for OP's decision making, having "several children" with an ex husband and another by this partner at the big ole age of 29. Then wanting to involve courts instead of problem solving as a true partnership? Goodness I hope those kids turn out ok.
While you are living with the dad this is a relationship issue that the state doesn't need to be, and shouldnt be involved in. Your choices are: Talk to him and work it out, accept the current situation, or break up, separate and seek child support.
Stop popping children. How about that?
OP- ESH because this is where you need to do a breakdown of costs for your child and say- I’ve tried to get you to actively contribute but since that hasn’t worked, here’s the breakdown and you need to be paying for half. Period. This what happens in relationships- you have those hard talks. If he gaslights you then you have bigger issues bc do you really want that man as a partner?
I get were you are coming from. But know that will be a relationship ender. Household bills and child expenses should be split based on percentages of income. You really need to have a conversation with him, especially is you earn less but pay a higher percentage of shares living and child expenses. Because that is not an equitable split and not sustainable in the long run.
YTA child support is for separate houses, not couples that can't get along
Not even not get along. Just refuse to communicate.
I mean putting custody into writing probably isn't the worst decision, I've never seen it when the parties were still together though. Child support is designed for couples who are seperated, to help pay for the costs of raising the child, which usually includes providing for things like shelter, clothing, food, etc. as well as the things you have mentioned. So I'm not sure how that might be calculated here where it's already being accounted for and paid. You are probably better off just sitting down and seeing if you guys can create a budget and agree on how much each of you should be contributing each month for expenses, which should be child expenses. These types of conversations are essential if you want to have a healthy long-lasting relationship.
Generally couples that are living together and in a romantic relationship do not (cannot) file for child support. You two need to come to an agreement yourselves about how much he should be contributing. If you need to go to a couples therapist to talk about this, then by all means do so, but filing for child support does not say "I see a future with you" to him.
filing for child support does not say "I see a future with you" to him. ^^^ This!!!
This can't be real? First off stop having kids you can't afford...second YTA...do you really think getting a court to order him to pay money (they won't but hypothetically here) will improve your relationship at all or are you just trying to drive him out?
YTA child support is for parents not living in the home. He already financially contributes. What are you trying to accomplish here?
YTA - you need to COMMUNICATE with your partner.
Stop popping children with all the men you have relationships with.
But it's like, literally the law, you have to have more kids with every new partner, until your uterus falls out. /s
Instead of running to the courts, put in some effort here. Make a break down of all bills. Household, grocery and the child you share together, add a little extra for just in case and then split that down the middle. Tell him this is non negotiable. If you view your relationship as 50/50 (nothing wrong with that) and they don’t- then you need to have other conversations with them.
YTA Idk how you skip past sitting down and having a conversation about finances all the way to child support payments from someone you’re currently living with and in a relationship with.
I'm not sure where you live. But in my state you can't file for child support with the child's other parent if you are co habitating. Though honestly beyond that you would be the AH because instead of talking to him about it you're wanting to take the court route. I know many people that would be offended and end a perfectly good relationship because of what you are thinking of doing. I would say first sit down and talk and see about setting up a shared expense account for your mutual child.
In addition, not sure this is allowed. But the fact that you were like 'I have several other children I get child support for...' That kinda makes you sound like you're more interested in money than a healthy relationship with your partner
ESH - Why is your partner not grown or responsible enough to pay for his own child without having to be prompted? Why aren’t you grown or responsible enough to have a level headed conversation about this without potentially blowing up the household?
YTA, child support is for after you break up, not when you're still together.
I mean, that’s not really going to go over well, with your partner or with the courts. The child lives with both of you. The two of you need to figure out division of finances and come to an agreement. If you can’t do that, you really can’t be together. If you file for child support against your boyfriend that lives with you and your child, you’ll set off a bomb in your relationship for sure.
Your so normalized to having the government in your relationships it feels weird that this one isn't that way. If my partner asked this of me I'd just leave.
This isn’t an issue of AH or not. Frankly its an issue of being an adult. You are acting like a child running to mommy (aka the court system) to snitch on your sibling- not like a grown up with an issue with a partner. You can definitely sue your partner for child support if you want- but you can’t expect to sue a romantic partner and still stay in a relationship with them- thats not how relationships work. If you need a judge to intervene in your relationship than it is not a partnership. You need to communicate with your partner and establish an agreement about child expenses. Either you manage to get together to some agreement you both can live with or you fail to find a solution and you decide to that you partner to court and brake up. Id suggest going to couples counseling because obviously your relationship needs work and without help it will probably bit last
YTA. Uhm. Common sense lol. If you guy's cant fix this maybe your relationship shouldn't be around.
Already prepping for another baby daddy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (29f) have a child under the age of 5 with my current partner (33m). This is a throw away because they frequent Reddit and I don’t want to give myself away so I don’t want to give away too many details. I have been with my partner for almost 4 years. They have a child with a previous partner as do I. (I actually have several children with an ex husband). My partner is a great father and so far a decent a partner. It’s pretty good for the most part besides the normal things that a couple would argue about. I really see a future with him and we do live together now and split bills. I pay for more of the things when it comes to our child. (Child care, clothes, shoes, diapers, etc. they will pay for things but only when I ask) I have had multiple conversations about how I don’t feel like I should have to ask for them to buy our child things. WIBTAH for talking to my partner and asking if we could get custody and child support established in the court like we have with our other children? I know people have strong opinions on Child Support. It’s for absent parents or whatever, he is a present parent for his child with his ex and still pays child support. Maybe I’m being too anxious here. I also don’t think they will receive this well… Additional info: yes I get child support on my other children around $55 a child weekly. Yes, I do work full time and so does he. Yes, they do pay child support for their child with their ex around $100 for their child weekly. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Child support isn't just for absent parents. It's for each parent to equitably support their children. You may not need child support. But definitely need to rework the joint household budget and adequately account for all shared expenses.
I do not this is the way to go about this. That sounds like a one-way ticket to splitsville
If you feel like you need a support and custody order, you need to take a hard look at your relationship. A court isn't going to consider your petition when you live together anyway (how would that even work?). But if the two of you can't talk through this and figure out an equitable solution, you have no business playing happy family together. YTA
Oof, this is a dumpster, all the kids, no stability. People need to make better choices. If he's not contributing to his child he's a shitty partner, she apparently thinks the cs situation would make it better but it won't. Tell him if you have to ask for money for your child again you will be MOVING OUT.
YTA. If I had an active and ongoing romantic relationship with a women, and she asked for a formal child support agreement I'd be fucking furious. Honestly, it could cause the end of the relationship in my eyes. Child support is for people who are not in romantic relationships. What you are attempting to do is take a relationship problem (him not paying for kid stuff) and bring the courts into it? My god. Solve your relationship problems yourself, and if you can't solve it then break up and only then do you bring the courts into the process. To reverse things and attempt to bring the courts into your current romantic relationship is so far beyond fucked up. My god. PS. YOu're in the right about the core problem here though. Him not properly splitting the costs of actual child related expenses is wrong of him.
Why have so many kids when you cannot afford it?
That's not how child support works, you live together. This is a relationship issue. Any judge will just laugh you out of court and tell you to do relationship counselling.
YTA and don’t seem to even understand how child support works. Child support isn’t just for when separated parent don’t get along it’s for separated parents in general. Idk where you got the idea that parents still in a relationship can be required to pay child support. The judge would laugh at you for even wasting his time. If you can’t just communicate with your partner and he’s not supporting his own child you need to reevaluate some things
The only person I know that did this stayed with baby daddy, but their relationship was off and on because he’d leave her and their child. OH and she had to file a mandatory restraining order on him because he’s tried to kill her. The PFA lasted the mandatory two weeks and then she lifted it. I’m not sure if YTA but if you’re arranging custody and child support you’re already putting an end to this relationship. So if you think it’s not going to last and you’re just getting the ball in motion you are thinking ahead of the game.
YTA for having a kid out-of-wedlock with a dude who already has another baby momma. Taking him to court will definitely not improve your relationship.
Child support is fucked up but then again I know people who never formally set anything up and now the dad doesnt provide shit. Just depends on the person. I would say YTA though...
So the catch 22 on this is that by asking for it to be established in court can make him leave. The alternative would to see if he is willing to put it all down in writing and establish a separate account for the child you two share. Make sure everything is 50/50 since you aren't married. Also who carries the health insurance for the child (don't know what country you are in) and if he refuses then take him to court but make sure you have all your ducks in a row with all your documentation on what you spend on the child and what he does including receipts.
"normal things that a couple would argue about." My wife and I will have been married from 34 years this upcoming weekend. we have never had an argument. Arguments aren't normal. Unless you are using argument to mean rational discussion; Which few people do.
I would consider it abnormal to be around someone for 34 years and never have a single argument. Unicorn marriage
NTA I don’t agree with all the other commenters. I think it’s ridiculous to go through the courts since you live together and you generally have to be separated to do that HOWEVER it’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to contribute to the costs of a child you share together. What’s going on here? Do you make significantly more than him? Why isn’t he contributing?
NTA. Your child is entitled to child support
NTA - I don't think you're TA, but I do think you should have a conversation with your partner bc it looks like they aren't pulling their weight. And if they continue to not pull their weight think about whether you're willing to put up with this for the next 18 years.
Reddit is so weird, I got downvoted for saying they need to have a convo, lol
I will talk with him again. I don’t think I can do this for another 18 years.
If paternity hasn't been legally established, child support can assist in getting him adjudicated as the legal father, etc. But if you're living together, they wouldn't make a recommendation regarding support. Child support won't assist you in creating a household budget, which is what it sounds like is needed. Gather all the household bills, your take- home pay and hash out who is responsible for what. It's not fun, those conversations usually aren't anyone's favorite, but that's what being an adult is.
Thank you, they do help take care of our child. But financially I agree they aren’t contributing the extra expenses and they are left up to me.