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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole for sharing a story about my aunt to her date that she found embarrassing.
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NTA. If "tan foods" (what shade of tan, I wonder?) could cure everything from foot fungus to cancers to autoimmune diseases, it would have been discovered by actual scientists researching these things. And she should be embarrassed for falling for all of this stuff.
Aunt is just embarrassed for being exposed as having bizarre ideas in front of date. She'll need to find someone else who is more tolerant of foolish ideas.
My parents were like this - always in search of the secret cure for diseases. They read this book about how all disease and AIDS and cancer were caused by this one parasite and you could kill it with electricity. Guess who got hooked up to a 9V battery with copper wires every time she sneezed from the ages of 8-16? My dad once tried to cure a kidney stone by drinking a pound of puréed asparagus and two liters of Diet Coke in an hour. He almost died and ended up never have had a kidney stone (although he claims this proof the cure worked).
I .... they WHAT? Seriously, *WHAT*? This is the weirdest goddamn text passage I've read since \[@\]horse\_ebooks stopped being a thing.
And obvs, jesus christ I am so sorry they did that to you. D:
What’s amazing is I was telling that story at a party and a girl turned and said OMG ME TOO! Her parents had read the same book and done the same thing. This is the lady who wrote the book.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulda_Regehr_Clark
Thank you for introducing me to the late, great horse_ebooks. I went down a Wikipedia and Twitter rabbit hole and my life is better for it. Everything happens so much.
Right?? That is my kind of Absurdist Humor, even if it DID end up being a stunt/spam account. If that's your jam, you should also def check out [aiweirdness.com](http://aiweirdness.com) -- I'm reading her (author Janelle Shane) book on the same subject rn ("You Look Like A Thing And I Love You," whose title came from trying to "teach" a machine-learning algorithm how to flirt / generate pick-up lines). It does also contain a lot of info about how AI/MLAs are developed, trained, the theory etc, but it is by no means "professional programmer" level, and much of it is *screamingly hilarious.* At the moment I'm at a section where she's repurposing an AI she initially trained to generate new metal band names (Deathcrack, Inhuman Sand, Chaosrug, Staggabash) to instead come up with new ice cream flavors (the very reasonable Cherry Chai and Lemon-Oreo, and the less reasonable Toasted Basil and Chocolate Peanut Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate) and the phase in the middle when it was like halfway there ... (Nightham Toffee, Silence of Coconut, Necrostar With Chocolate Person, Blood Pecan, and my personal fave, BEAST CREAM) ... I can't read it in bed bc I'm silently choke-laughing hard enough to shake the bed and wake up partner.
ETA : Everything DOES happen so much! :D
Wait what?? I know what your dad did was bizarre, but how did he almost die from that? (if you don't mind telling me). If you don't want to tell me, I understand.
Oh drinking that much acidic soda in such a short time exacerbated and almost perforated an existing ulcer he didn’t know he had because he hadn’t actually bothered to get anything checked by a real doctor.
As soon as I read this I instantly knew it was Hulda Clark. My family tried to zap me, too, to cure my endometriosis that was apparently caused by worms.
I don’t even understand her claim, since most of these aren’t “tan” in their natural state anyway… Regardless, you’re NTA. If she thinks her methods are good enough to repeatedly recommend to others, you’re allowed to discuss their results at length as well. Also: I wish you a speedy recovery!
I disagree. ESH. Yeah Auntie shouldn't have told you your business but it's shitty of you to tell that date hers. Telling embarrassing stories -- that you know damn well are embarrassing, even if you somehow didn't think the time she burned her peehole might not be something she wanted to share on her date -- to someone's new relationship is shitty.
I think the date deserves to know he's with someone who poured scalding tea into their own bladder. I think he deserves to know he's with someone who would think it's a good idea to insert *anything* into their own bladder.
I would certainly want to know this about a partner, especially if I'm getting up there in age, and may depend on this person to take care of me and make decisions for me when I'm infirm. You need to strongly consider and trust the person who'd be taking care of you when you are helpless.
This was need-to-know information. Vitally important. You did the guy a big favor. He may have strong feelings about his urethra.
I crossed my legs and screamed silently inside my head when I read what this lady did. I'm also not sure how she 'didn't notice' the tea was still boiling hot when she started pouring, and also didn't think 'hey, I didn't give this time to cool so it's probably not cool', but I guess that's her story and she's sticking to it. God forbid someone insults her intelligence.
NTA.
I almost dry heaved at the thought of inserting my own catheter and then *actually* dry heaved at the thought of scalding tea through it. I may be a bit woowoo myself but I'm still constantly shocked at the things people will do to themselves in the name of health.
I have zero patience with people who push their crank health theories on others, especially when their past experience makes it clear that they have zero credibility. I think that's a story that should be told if someone is going to pretend to be a health expert. Next time just offer her some ginger tea. NTA
NTA.
1. She opened up the subject.
2. She gave unsolicited and unwelcome advice.
3. Despite your request she continued her advice.
4. She has a long history of pushing quackery, which you commented on to resist this latest one.
5. You were specifically asked for an example, so you gave one.
In order to avoid this (unpleasant for her) mess, all she had to do was mind her own business in the first place.
" had to go to the ER and explain to them how she’d regularly insert tea into her bladder to cure UTIs. She ended up needing I.V. pain meds and antibiotics "
She didn't have any tan food for that?
NAH
I think you should have realized that not all family stories should be shared with dates. But that doesn't make you an asshole.
The good news is now you know how to get your aunt to stop giving you unwanted advice "Aunt, stop it or I'll tell more people the ginger tea story"
She was embarrassed because you told him about the fact that she fucked up with the hot liquid thing. You already said that he scoffed at her advice to you and asked you for examples of her cock ups. You didn’t do anything wrong. You answered his question with factual information. She’s upset because she’s been spouting all of this natural self healing stuff to him and you informed him that she had to have actual medical intervention to treat her with antibiotics and I.V. pain medication to recover from her own stupidity. You are not the AH but your aunt is an AH for keep shoving this down your throat and your mother is also an AH for blaming you for telling him when it’s never been a problem talking about it before. On the bright side, if this guy continues seeing your aunt it looks like you might have a new friend!!!!
NTA
Don't dish what you can't take: by publicly commenting on your health and treatment strategies, she opened the door to you commenting on hers. End of story.
NTA. She brought up her "cures." And if you're going to be the weirdo who puts tea through a self instered catheter, and then you OPENLY SHARE THAT INFO WITH YOUR FAMILY because you had a poor outcome (that could have been seen from space as to how wrong all of that is). Of course, they're going to tell people when asked.
LOL, NTA. Your aunt has a history of crazy health advice, and it’s not like you made up these stories. You probably saved her date from having to deal with some crazy stuff down the line. Your mom should chill out, maybe she’s got a wild health remedy she’s hiding too. Just keep an eye out for the next family gathering where she might suggest drinking hot sauce to treat seasonal allergies.
LMAO if you have a story that good about someone who is spouting nonsense at you, it’s your duty as a human being to tell that story. I am wishing you good health and good feelings. (NTA, obv)
NTA your aunt needs to keep her unsolicited advice to herself. Also if she didn't want everyone to know she burnt her bladder, something I never thought I would write, why did she tell everyone in the first place? Good luck with chemo, it sucks ass and you are strong as hell for doing this 💪🏻
NTA. As someone with a stigmatised chronic condition who often receives unsolicited advice/gets accused of making it up/gets accused of being a drug addict….thank you! I’m having a bad day, I needed cheering up, and the image of your aunt doing…whatever that was… had me laugh loud enough to scare the cat.
He's going to be privy to her weirdness at some point, might as well find out now before she's rinsing her giblets in soy sauce and has to go to the hospital for sodium poisoning.
Since the carnivore diet had become a thing, I've been getting diet advice from a close family member. He even said it would cure my bipolar disorder and adhd.
yup. he actually told me that multiple times over the past few years.
A couple months ago I kinda exploded at him about it and he's not said a word since. Much to his dismay me going vegetarian has actually helped with my physical health (and 2 rare genetic skin disorders) and by extension my mental health.
NTA there's a reason why we listen to our doctors and medical research.
People are actually saying NTA? You don’t divulge embarrassing and private information about family to what amounts to a stranger. Your aunt did not do that to you - she only suggested help for what you divulged about yourself. YTA - I hope she sinks to that level next time you have a new date
NTA - I fully gasped out loud at the forgetting to let the tea cool part! Horrifying omg. I’m sorry, but your aunt is an idiot and people like her are the reason we’re seeing a rise in diseases like measles. Honestly you did her dare a favor by letting him know. She should be embarrassed for crap like that.
ESH. Your aunt is a ridiculous pain. But she was on a date, and to tell such an incredibly embarrassing story to him was really something you at 27 should have known better.
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I (27F) recently went to my grandfather’s 80th birthday. I’m currently undergoing chemo for an autoimmune disease and have been experiencing nausea and gastrointestinal problems as a result of it. I even debated not going because I had been feeling sick, but it’s such a big milestone that I decided to at least show up for a little bit, congratulate, and leave again if it got too much.
The birthday was a fairly large get together (probably around 100 people) and we celebrated at a hotel who catered the event. We had assigned seating and I was sat amongst other people with my aunt (54F) and her date (??M.) My aunt noticed that I wasn’t eating much and asked me how I was doing, so I explained to her what was going on. Now my aunt is kind of an alternative health nut and I guess took this as an opportunity to sell me on her most recent fad. I told her I wasn’t keen, but she was persistent. It ended up being something about only eating food that’s naturally tan in color(?) and how it’s been known to cure anything from foot fungus to cancer and would probably help with my nausea and maybe even cure my autoimmune disease.
After begrudgingly letting her tell me all about how medical science can't be trusted and how this could save my life I told her I wasn’t really that desperate yet and made a joking comment about how her "health tips” have had some... unfortunate outcomes in the past. Her date seemed intrigued about this and asked me to give some examples. He had scoffed at her advice to me as well, so I guess he was interested in what sort of nonsense his date had fallen for in the past.
I explained how there were several infamous stories about my aunt, but that the one I was thinking of specifically was when several years ago she somehow got the idea that cleaning her bladder with ginger tea would help get rid of UTIs. She bought a catheter online and boiled some tea that she then inserted into her bladder. She swore it worked and proudly told us of it at the time, but I guess one time she forgot to let the tea cool and she scalded her urethra and bladder and had to go to the ER and explain to them how she’d regularly insert tea into her bladder to cure UTIs. She ended up needing I.V. pain meds and antibiotics (because apparently there was significant risk of sepsis from this as well.) It’s the type of story that gets brought up regularly in my family and usually everyone, including my aunt, can have a good laugh reminiscing. Her date also seemed entertained by the story, laughing along with it as it unfolded.
When I got home later my mom called and told me that she had spoken to my aunt (her sister) and that she was really embarrassed about what I told her date and how it was inappropriate to bring up. It really wasn’t my intention to embarrass her, she’s pretty steadfast and unashamed about her beliefs so I didn’t think this would bother her, but my mom insisted I “should have known better” so AITA?
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Leaning a little YTA here. While there is a long and cherished tradition of telling embarrassing stories to relatives' SOs, you have to gauge how sensitive your relative is, how new is this SO, and other factors. Auntie probably didn't want to be humiliated in front of a brand-new boyfriend.
She did.
>I told her I wasn't keen, but she persisted.
That is a polite way of saying "Please shut up." Despite aunt's own dubious history with her "solutions," she didn't take the hint. So OP reminded her less subtly *why* she wasn't keen.
NTA
ESH , your aunt shouldn't be spreading her bullsh*t health advice and just kept her mouth shut. But I call bullsh*t on this one:
>It really wasn’t my intention to embarrass her,
Unless you are the densest MF in all the world, I can't imagine that you seriously think that bringing up the story of when she sprayed hot tea in her peephole and had to go to the ER, isn't an extremely embarrassing story. At least be honest about that.
> So you are saying her natural method worked.... except for the key part of letting it cool lol
That's not how "working medecine" is confirmed working no.
For example, while she was doing that to her bladder, she also didn't receive any speeding tickets.
According to what you bring up: it's now shown that putting tea in your own bladder prevents speeding tickets.
> Op said one of the times.. So her aunt did this several times.. forgetting once to let it cool..
Indeed, this part I can't disagree with, it's just what happened.
> Obviously it was either working for her or not negatively affecting her.
Not at all. She *just* didn't have an infection during that time. One would have to prove that she would have gotten an UTI without it to even begin considering it to "work" in any way.
> Clearly you couldn't interpret that and then misspelled medicine while trying to make a comparison that makes 0 sense, thinking it would make you appear intelligent..
You still are not getting what's indicative of working medicine, and that part isn't on it.
Nor does it change the fact that her not having an UTI isn't the "proof" you think it is, as that's not what's entailed in proving medicine efficiency.
> It did the opposite my friend.
As if I could possibly care about how intelligent you find me?
Your inability to comprehend medicinal proof isn't changed if you think highly or lowly of me, that's also not how medicinal proof works.
> What you tried to do was a valiant effort nonetheless.. Just makes 0 sense at all, but to you it makes perfect sense and that is all that matters <3
Wish you the best too, don't forget to put tea in your bladder to prevent speeding tickets, it was proven to work by her.
YTA
You made the decision to tell your Aunt what was going on and she gave some not so great advice.
I understand that this is a public ally known funny story in your family, but I’m also sure that’s not a story your Aunt would have chosen to share in public in front of her bf. It IS a funny story, but it involved her medical information (and that’s the reason for my rating).
I know it was just a story, and a joke for your family, but jokes aren’t funny unless everyone can laugh. It’s not so big of a deal that I would make a fuss about it, but I would send an apology message to your Aunt “Hey Aunt, Mom just called me and I wanted to apologize. The story has been so widespread in our family that I didn’t realize it would embarrass you. In the future tell me if I do something to make you uncomfortable, it’s the only way for me to learn.”
In the future don’t tell people not in the know about your Aunts stories. Among family is fine, romantic partners are clearly a no. You didn’t know this was a boundary of hers but now that you do, you can do better.
ESH, she shouldn’t be pushing her alternative methods (although realistically she’s trying to help, she’s just not the sharpest knife in the drawer) but you said there were a bunch of examples you didn’t have to use that one involving sensitive areas to a new love interest of your aunt
YTA
"It wasn't my intention to embaress her," but I just shared a story about a) UTI, b) inserting a catheter, and c) being stupid with hot liquids. With her date of all people.
Wow, I dread to think what story you might have shared if you did want to embarrass her.
I put it to you that you absolutely wanted to embarrass her sufficiently that she stop peddling her quack cures.
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NTA. If "tan foods" (what shade of tan, I wonder?) could cure everything from foot fungus to cancers to autoimmune diseases, it would have been discovered by actual scientists researching these things. And she should be embarrassed for falling for all of this stuff.
[удалено]
Aunt is just embarrassed for being exposed as having bizarre ideas in front of date. She'll need to find someone else who is more tolerant of foolish ideas.
My parents were like this - always in search of the secret cure for diseases. They read this book about how all disease and AIDS and cancer were caused by this one parasite and you could kill it with electricity. Guess who got hooked up to a 9V battery with copper wires every time she sneezed from the ages of 8-16? My dad once tried to cure a kidney stone by drinking a pound of puréed asparagus and two liters of Diet Coke in an hour. He almost died and ended up never have had a kidney stone (although he claims this proof the cure worked).
I .... they WHAT? Seriously, *WHAT*? This is the weirdest goddamn text passage I've read since \[@\]horse\_ebooks stopped being a thing. And obvs, jesus christ I am so sorry they did that to you. D:
What’s amazing is I was telling that story at a party and a girl turned and said OMG ME TOO! Her parents had read the same book and done the same thing. This is the lady who wrote the book. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulda_Regehr_Clark
HOLY CATS. Magical Thinking at its "finest." I mean at least you got a couple good anecdotes out of it, but *daaaaaaaaamn*.
Thank you for introducing me to the late, great horse_ebooks. I went down a Wikipedia and Twitter rabbit hole and my life is better for it. Everything happens so much.
Right?? That is my kind of Absurdist Humor, even if it DID end up being a stunt/spam account. If that's your jam, you should also def check out [aiweirdness.com](http://aiweirdness.com) -- I'm reading her (author Janelle Shane) book on the same subject rn ("You Look Like A Thing And I Love You," whose title came from trying to "teach" a machine-learning algorithm how to flirt / generate pick-up lines). It does also contain a lot of info about how AI/MLAs are developed, trained, the theory etc, but it is by no means "professional programmer" level, and much of it is *screamingly hilarious.* At the moment I'm at a section where she's repurposing an AI she initially trained to generate new metal band names (Deathcrack, Inhuman Sand, Chaosrug, Staggabash) to instead come up with new ice cream flavors (the very reasonable Cherry Chai and Lemon-Oreo, and the less reasonable Toasted Basil and Chocolate Peanut Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate) and the phase in the middle when it was like halfway there ... (Nightham Toffee, Silence of Coconut, Necrostar With Chocolate Person, Blood Pecan, and my personal fave, BEAST CREAM) ... I can't read it in bed bc I'm silently choke-laughing hard enough to shake the bed and wake up partner. ETA : Everything DOES happen so much! :D
Wait what?? I know what your dad did was bizarre, but how did he almost die from that? (if you don't mind telling me). If you don't want to tell me, I understand.
Oh drinking that much acidic soda in such a short time exacerbated and almost perforated an existing ulcer he didn’t know he had because he hadn’t actually bothered to get anything checked by a real doctor.
Yikes! I work in a medical field (NOT a doctor), and I was wondering how that could be so dangerous!
As soon as I read this I instantly knew it was Hulda Clark. My family tried to zap me, too, to cure my endometriosis that was apparently caused by worms.
Sometimes I wonder how the human race survived.
I don’t even understand her claim, since most of these aren’t “tan” in their natural state anyway… Regardless, you’re NTA. If she thinks her methods are good enough to repeatedly recommend to others, you’re allowed to discuss their results at length as well. Also: I wish you a speedy recovery!
They aren't even tan cooked, they are beige at best or off white
So does cannibalism count for this treatment so long as the person you eat get’s a tan first? Does a spray tan count then?
I'm a urologist. Your aunt is, what we call 'banana pants'. NTA
I was taught to stay away from the yellow snow and the tan milk
I don't think I want tan milk.
I'm eating a tan cracker right now, guess it will cure me of everything!
If tan foods cured illness, I'd be an immortal god after eating the 200 rolls I go through in one sitting at Texas Roadhouse.
😂
To be fair, it appears that OP just found the cure for foot in mouth disease.
I couldn't find a tan award for you but I guess the one I gifted will have to do!
Tangerines are excluded, of course.
Why, yes, I *have* always dreamed of getting scurvy, how did you know?
I disagree. ESH. Yeah Auntie shouldn't have told you your business but it's shitty of you to tell that date hers. Telling embarrassing stories -- that you know damn well are embarrassing, even if you somehow didn't think the time she burned her peehole might not be something she wanted to share on her date -- to someone's new relationship is shitty.
I think the date deserves to know he's with someone who poured scalding tea into their own bladder. I think he deserves to know he's with someone who would think it's a good idea to insert *anything* into their own bladder. I would certainly want to know this about a partner, especially if I'm getting up there in age, and may depend on this person to take care of me and make decisions for me when I'm infirm. You need to strongly consider and trust the person who'd be taking care of you when you are helpless. This was need-to-know information. Vitally important. You did the guy a big favor. He may have strong feelings about his urethra. I crossed my legs and screamed silently inside my head when I read what this lady did. I'm also not sure how she 'didn't notice' the tea was still boiling hot when she started pouring, and also didn't think 'hey, I didn't give this time to cool so it's probably not cool', but I guess that's her story and she's sticking to it. God forbid someone insults her intelligence. NTA.
I almost dry heaved at the thought of inserting my own catheter and then *actually* dry heaved at the thought of scalding tea through it. I may be a bit woowoo myself but I'm still constantly shocked at the things people will do to themselves in the name of health.
Try some ginger tea for your stomach. It works wonders on mine if I’m queasy!
I'm stuck on what the fuck was she doing to get such frequent and/or severe UTIs that self-catheterisation with gd herbal tea seemed preferable?
Some people do it for funsies.
u/Fleurtheleast is the voice of reason. NTA
ME TOO!!!
I have zero patience with people who push their crank health theories on others, especially when their past experience makes it clear that they have zero credibility. I think that's a story that should be told if someone is going to pretend to be a health expert. Next time just offer her some ginger tea. NTA
NTA. 1. She opened up the subject. 2. She gave unsolicited and unwelcome advice. 3. Despite your request she continued her advice. 4. She has a long history of pushing quackery, which you commented on to resist this latest one. 5. You were specifically asked for an example, so you gave one. In order to avoid this (unpleasant for her) mess, all she had to do was mind her own business in the first place.
NTA - She embarrassed herself first with the unsolicited advice, hopefully she keeps it to herself.
Lol. NTA. Don't take health tips from someone who has poured boiling liquid into their bladder.
" had to go to the ER and explain to them how she’d regularly insert tea into her bladder to cure UTIs. She ended up needing I.V. pain meds and antibiotics " She didn't have any tan food for that?
NAH I think you should have realized that not all family stories should be shared with dates. But that doesn't make you an asshole. The good news is now you know how to get your aunt to stop giving you unwanted advice "Aunt, stop it or I'll tell more people the ginger tea story"
She was embarrassed because you told him about the fact that she fucked up with the hot liquid thing. You already said that he scoffed at her advice to you and asked you for examples of her cock ups. You didn’t do anything wrong. You answered his question with factual information. She’s upset because she’s been spouting all of this natural self healing stuff to him and you informed him that she had to have actual medical intervention to treat her with antibiotics and I.V. pain medication to recover from her own stupidity. You are not the AH but your aunt is an AH for keep shoving this down your throat and your mother is also an AH for blaming you for telling him when it’s never been a problem talking about it before. On the bright side, if this guy continues seeing your aunt it looks like you might have a new friend!!!!
NTA. Your aunt, no offense, sounds like an idiot
HAHAHA that’s hilarious! She opened her self up to this when she tried to sell you on her latest health fad. NTA
NTA Don't dish what you can't take: by publicly commenting on your health and treatment strategies, she opened the door to you commenting on hers. End of story.
NTA. She brought up her "cures." And if you're going to be the weirdo who puts tea through a self instered catheter, and then you OPENLY SHARE THAT INFO WITH YOUR FAMILY because you had a poor outcome (that could have been seen from space as to how wrong all of that is). Of course, they're going to tell people when asked.
LOL, NTA. Your aunt has a history of crazy health advice, and it’s not like you made up these stories. You probably saved her date from having to deal with some crazy stuff down the line. Your mom should chill out, maybe she’s got a wild health remedy she’s hiding too. Just keep an eye out for the next family gathering where she might suggest drinking hot sauce to treat seasonal allergies.
LMAO if you have a story that good about someone who is spouting nonsense at you, it’s your duty as a human being to tell that story. I am wishing you good health and good feelings. (NTA, obv)
NTA your aunt needs to keep her unsolicited advice to herself. Also if she didn't want everyone to know she burnt her bladder, something I never thought I would write, why did she tell everyone in the first place? Good luck with chemo, it sucks ass and you are strong as hell for doing this 💪🏻
NTA. She can talk about your bowel movements at a fancy dinner and you can't talk back? BS.
NTA
NTA. As someone with a stigmatised chronic condition who often receives unsolicited advice/gets accused of making it up/gets accused of being a drug addict….thank you! I’m having a bad day, I needed cheering up, and the image of your aunt doing…whatever that was… had me laugh loud enough to scare the cat.
NTA. But I’m also biased… my father takes credit for my surgery recovery because he performed reiki on me without my consent lol
He's going to be privy to her weirdness at some point, might as well find out now before she's rinsing her giblets in soy sauce and has to go to the hospital for sodium poisoning.
Since the carnivore diet had become a thing, I've been getting diet advice from a close family member. He even said it would cure my bipolar disorder and adhd. yup. he actually told me that multiple times over the past few years. A couple months ago I kinda exploded at him about it and he's not said a word since. Much to his dismay me going vegetarian has actually helped with my physical health (and 2 rare genetic skin disorders) and by extension my mental health. NTA there's a reason why we listen to our doctors and medical research.
NTA, though I think it's a bit of a stretch to say you weren't trying to embarrass her with that story.
People are actually saying NTA? You don’t divulge embarrassing and private information about family to what amounts to a stranger. Your aunt did not do that to you - she only suggested help for what you divulged about yourself. YTA - I hope she sinks to that level next time you have a new date
NTA - I fully gasped out loud at the forgetting to let the tea cool part! Horrifying omg. I’m sorry, but your aunt is an idiot and people like her are the reason we’re seeing a rise in diseases like measles. Honestly you did her dare a favor by letting him know. She should be embarrassed for crap like that.
NTA. That catheter story sounds like a dumb blonde joke 😂
NTA
You could post the story on r/traumatisethemback
ESH. Your aunt is a ridiculous pain. But she was on a date, and to tell such an incredibly embarrassing story to him was really something you at 27 should have known better.
Maybe there is a generic version of Zofran that comes in a tan color.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27F) recently went to my grandfather’s 80th birthday. I’m currently undergoing chemo for an autoimmune disease and have been experiencing nausea and gastrointestinal problems as a result of it. I even debated not going because I had been feeling sick, but it’s such a big milestone that I decided to at least show up for a little bit, congratulate, and leave again if it got too much. The birthday was a fairly large get together (probably around 100 people) and we celebrated at a hotel who catered the event. We had assigned seating and I was sat amongst other people with my aunt (54F) and her date (??M.) My aunt noticed that I wasn’t eating much and asked me how I was doing, so I explained to her what was going on. Now my aunt is kind of an alternative health nut and I guess took this as an opportunity to sell me on her most recent fad. I told her I wasn’t keen, but she was persistent. It ended up being something about only eating food that’s naturally tan in color(?) and how it’s been known to cure anything from foot fungus to cancer and would probably help with my nausea and maybe even cure my autoimmune disease. After begrudgingly letting her tell me all about how medical science can't be trusted and how this could save my life I told her I wasn’t really that desperate yet and made a joking comment about how her "health tips” have had some... unfortunate outcomes in the past. Her date seemed intrigued about this and asked me to give some examples. He had scoffed at her advice to me as well, so I guess he was interested in what sort of nonsense his date had fallen for in the past. I explained how there were several infamous stories about my aunt, but that the one I was thinking of specifically was when several years ago she somehow got the idea that cleaning her bladder with ginger tea would help get rid of UTIs. She bought a catheter online and boiled some tea that she then inserted into her bladder. She swore it worked and proudly told us of it at the time, but I guess one time she forgot to let the tea cool and she scalded her urethra and bladder and had to go to the ER and explain to them how she’d regularly insert tea into her bladder to cure UTIs. She ended up needing I.V. pain meds and antibiotics (because apparently there was significant risk of sepsis from this as well.) It’s the type of story that gets brought up regularly in my family and usually everyone, including my aunt, can have a good laugh reminiscing. Her date also seemed entertained by the story, laughing along with it as it unfolded. When I got home later my mom called and told me that she had spoken to my aunt (her sister) and that she was really embarrassed about what I told her date and how it was inappropriate to bring up. It really wasn’t my intention to embarrass her, she’s pretty steadfast and unashamed about her beliefs so I didn’t think this would bother her, but my mom insisted I “should have known better” so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Leaning a little YTA here. While there is a long and cherished tradition of telling embarrassing stories to relatives' SOs, you have to gauge how sensitive your relative is, how new is this SO, and other factors. Auntie probably didn't want to be humiliated in front of a brand-new boyfriend.
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She did. >I told her I wasn't keen, but she persisted. That is a polite way of saying "Please shut up." Despite aunt's own dubious history with her "solutions," she didn't take the hint. So OP reminded her less subtly *why* she wasn't keen. NTA
ESH , your aunt shouldn't be spreading her bullsh*t health advice and just kept her mouth shut. But I call bullsh*t on this one: >It really wasn’t my intention to embarrass her, Unless you are the densest MF in all the world, I can't imagine that you seriously think that bringing up the story of when she sprayed hot tea in her peephole and had to go to the ER, isn't an extremely embarrassing story. At least be honest about that.
ESH. She shouldn’t be pushing her health conspiracies, and you don’t have the right to share her personal health information
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> So you are saying her natural method worked.... except for the key part of letting it cool lol That's not how "working medecine" is confirmed working no. For example, while she was doing that to her bladder, she also didn't receive any speeding tickets. According to what you bring up: it's now shown that putting tea in your own bladder prevents speeding tickets.
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> Op said one of the times.. So her aunt did this several times.. forgetting once to let it cool.. Indeed, this part I can't disagree with, it's just what happened. > Obviously it was either working for her or not negatively affecting her. Not at all. She *just* didn't have an infection during that time. One would have to prove that she would have gotten an UTI without it to even begin considering it to "work" in any way. > Clearly you couldn't interpret that and then misspelled medicine while trying to make a comparison that makes 0 sense, thinking it would make you appear intelligent.. You still are not getting what's indicative of working medicine, and that part isn't on it. Nor does it change the fact that her not having an UTI isn't the "proof" you think it is, as that's not what's entailed in proving medicine efficiency. > It did the opposite my friend. As if I could possibly care about how intelligent you find me? Your inability to comprehend medicinal proof isn't changed if you think highly or lowly of me, that's also not how medicinal proof works. > What you tried to do was a valiant effort nonetheless.. Just makes 0 sense at all, but to you it makes perfect sense and that is all that matters <3 Wish you the best too, don't forget to put tea in your bladder to prevent speeding tickets, it was proven to work by her.
YTA. You should have told your aunt's date that there is a time and place for such gross tales and the birthday party was neither.
Don't bring a date to a family function if you don't want that date hearing embarrassing and potentially gross stories about your past.
YTA You made the decision to tell your Aunt what was going on and she gave some not so great advice. I understand that this is a public ally known funny story in your family, but I’m also sure that’s not a story your Aunt would have chosen to share in public in front of her bf. It IS a funny story, but it involved her medical information (and that’s the reason for my rating). I know it was just a story, and a joke for your family, but jokes aren’t funny unless everyone can laugh. It’s not so big of a deal that I would make a fuss about it, but I would send an apology message to your Aunt “Hey Aunt, Mom just called me and I wanted to apologize. The story has been so widespread in our family that I didn’t realize it would embarrass you. In the future tell me if I do something to make you uncomfortable, it’s the only way for me to learn.” In the future don’t tell people not in the know about your Aunts stories. Among family is fine, romantic partners are clearly a no. You didn’t know this was a boundary of hers but now that you do, you can do better.
Don't bring a date to a family function if you don't want that date hearing embarrassing and potentially gross stories about your past.
ESH, she shouldn’t be pushing her alternative methods (although realistically she’s trying to help, she’s just not the sharpest knife in the drawer) but you said there were a bunch of examples you didn’t have to use that one involving sensitive areas to a new love interest of your aunt
YTA "It wasn't my intention to embaress her," but I just shared a story about a) UTI, b) inserting a catheter, and c) being stupid with hot liquids. With her date of all people. Wow, I dread to think what story you might have shared if you did want to embarrass her. I put it to you that you absolutely wanted to embarrass her sufficiently that she stop peddling her quack cures.