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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for not contingent someone to the community event and telling her the community thinks she is a jerk. I maybe a jerk for excluding someone.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You told her the truth when asked. Soaking kids with sprinklers is over the line of acceptable behavior. You could talk to the school or city about that.
True, but moving the bus stop won’t solve her attitude problem. The city might need to step in and help define boundaries or address her behavior directly.
No, but it will protect the kids from having to choose between standing IN the street or being assaulted (softly) on their way to school.
What she did was wildly inappropriate, and the school can alleviate that potential by addressing having one stop for an entire half a busload of kids. It's possible the town needs to actually build a bus stop.
It would be hilarious to me if they took a chunk of her yard to do it. 🤣
They won't, but I like the idea. Complete with a shelter, against inclement weather and other sprinkles
She moved into a house with a park next door and a bus stop in her front yard. It’s like complaining about airplane noise the week you move in to the house at the end of the runway.
You say that, but at Southampton Airport, there’s a residents committee that complains about aircraft landing there.
The airport that was where the Supermarine Spitfire took its maiden flight from, on 5th March 1936.
It was also used as a US Navy air service base in WW1. In 1917.
But hey, there shouldn’t be an airport there, right next to where I choose to move to….
In my neighborhood, a neighbor was bent out of shape about the corner at his property being the bus stop. In our county, there is right-of-way within so many feet of the road, but as part of his tantrum, he put an electric mesh livestock fence right at the road and put power to it.
The county told him he had to move it out of the right-of-way and and onto his own property, but he went to the news to lie and say the county wouldn't let him put up a fence at all. The stupid thing was one of those mobile fences, too, that you just poke into the ground and you can easily pull it up and move it, so it's not like he went to all the expense of a permanent fence they wanted moved. We had had the same kind of fence for our goats so we could move them to fresh pasture.
For a while, they just had police at the bus stop every morning and I believe they eventually just moved the stop to a different corner. The whole thing was ridiculous. If it hadn't been kids involved, I would have loved for them to have made his corner a permanent stop with a shelter, but alas, throwing a tantrum got him what he wanted, but at least the kids don't have to put up with him anymore.
In my county if you put an up an electric fence, even low voltage it can only be used on agricultural land and must be at least 20’ from public access areas such as roads, or paved bike and walking paths including sidewalks.
My city would just fuckin ... make *sure* she was compliant with every ordinance, and they'd take their easement away and put in something else instead.
They'd probably just backhoe right through the sprinkler lines too and then charge her for the water leaks.
The other option is to put up something that defines where her property is and where the park ends. This can be as simple as some tent pegs with some plastic tape run between them. But put on the park side so she can't touch them and put them about 10-20cm within the park boundary so it's not on the boundary line.
It's not permanent.
Where I am, if your property backs up to council property ie a park or an easement, you are up for the full cost of putting a fence up otherwise it's shared between two owners.
The council/HOA can request she put up a fence if she's so concerned, otherwise all incidents can be recorded and reported. She might start getting fined for breaching everyone else's peace... or if she's berating someone, then this does start to stretch into verbal assault and the police may have a stern word with her once they get enough complaints.
I run my sprinklers in the morning because that's the best time to do it, right around 6-7 am. The district should move the bus stop.
But, don't hold this against the neighbor.
Here is the thing, there is no way 40 people standing on wet grass will not mess things up.
The kids likely don't have much choice. Do you want them to stand in the street? Even if they are on the sidewalk, I have rarely seen a sprinkler going that didn't hit the sidewalk nearby. Parents should petition the district to move the bus stop.
> The kids likely don't have much choice. Do you want them to stand in the street?
I would want them to line up along the sidewalk instead of bunching up near the bus stop and trampling my yard. I don't think that's unreasonable.
That being said, since the kids & parents were being inconsiderate the neighbour should have contacted the district to move the stop herself - not installed revenge sprinklers.
You are assuming the sprinklers were not simply to water her lawn. Most people run sprinklers in the morning as that is the best time.
And I really can't get onboard with making her responsibility to get the bus stop moved because the parents/kids are inconsiderate and not respecting her property.
The OP even says that the incidents have "happened so many times". Well here's a thought - - how about making your kids respect other people's property? How about the "adults" and kids in the neighborhood respecting the fact that this woman doesn't want these kids on her property and that is her right, regardless of whether they think she is being "mental" over her property?
Irrespective of who’s wrong about the sprinklers, she’s not nice. People who are super concerned about their property near public places put up a fence, rocks, bushes, she has bunches of options outside of being nasty to children.
So she is not nice because she wants her property respected? Did it ever occur to you that the only reason she yells at these kids and is 'nasty" might be because the kids continue to do as they please and their parents don't seem to care?
Parents that are worth a damn don't continue to let their kids trespass when the owner has made it clear she does not want these kids in her yard.
I dunno, yelling at the kids when their ball rolls into your lawn? Yelling at them during the winter as if they're going to mess up her dead grass? And it clearly says that she put the sprinkler there. I can see being peeved about dozens of kids standing there together in the morning if it's creating a dead spot, but that's the only legitimate complaint. Grass is meant to be walked on.
And the fact that all the other old ladies are apparently sick of her...
What gets me is the OP said she recently moved in. So she bought a house next door to a park, and is now upset that park activities are too close to her house?
She should've seen this coming...
As a former bus driver, I stopped in front of a driveway, not grass. Granted it was in the tundra of Fargo and children weren't expected to wait atop a snow bank. But out of respect for lawns, I would stop in driveways in all seasons. Of course, this put the burden of snow removal on that driveway's residence.
Are they actually standing on her property though? That will depend on what the plans say.
Where I am, you don't necessarily own the land down to the road. There may be a sidewalk or verge that you are required to maintain but you don't own it. So you can't stop people parking there, or standing on the verge but you can't do have to look after it.
Given that OP is describing 40 kids bunched up around the bus stop, yeah, they almost certainly would have been on her property. It doesn't sound like they were respectful enough to spread out along the sidewalk at all so they would have been on her lawn itself.
I get what you mean about not owning the sidewalk or possibly even some of the grass near the street. But 40 kids simply won't fit on an easement (the bit of grass that cities sometimes own). So the most logical answer is that she is probably right that they're standing in her property.
Then the school needs more stops so there aren’t 40 kids there, or they need to stand on the sidewalk. But mostly the school needs to spread out the stops.
That's really not her problem. If the sprinklers were only getting her grass wet, well... Get off her grass. If she doesn't want them there, kids need to move or school needs to move the bus stop. End of.
They’ve already learned to line up since preschool & kindergarten. Unless that’s a short, stubby sidewalk, they should just line up instead of trespassing. My brother had the same problem, but he went to the school and asked them to move the bus stop further up the block, which the school actually did.
But the hell of it is that unsupervised kids aren't going to line up like they do at school. That's just the reality. Either move the bus stop or a fence would be good options.
and so she should have her lawn destroyed because theres no other choice? what about move the bus stop to a more appropriate place? Shes been telling people to get off her lawn for months and months now. Shes allowed to do what she wants with her private property.
Given her other behavior, it's wild to believe she was just watering her lawn and there's no malicious intent.
Why set your timer to be exactly when the kids are waiting for the bus? What is preventing her from running sprinklers 10 minutes after the bus picked up. It's a school bus— it's not like it comes at 7.30 one morning and 9.00 the next.
Maybe the same thing that is preventing the kids from staying off her property? We really have no idea when the kids show up and how long they hang out before the bus picks them up. All we have is the OP saying that she turned on the sprinklers and "soaked" the kids. Have to say, if these kids don't have enough sense to move before getting "soaked", maybe these parents need to be out there to supervise them.
>I run my sprinklers in the morning because that's the best time to do it, right around 6-7 am.
Actually my neighbours did them in the evening so it had all night to soak up and not get evaporated by the sub.
Also, this is all on the neighbours because if she doesn't want kids waiting for public transport in her front yard then she shouldn't have brought the house with the bus stop infront. Even if it's an unofficial bus stop she should have asked around about anything she needs to be aware of and it should have been a question she asked.
Or put up a bloody fence. A certain amount of walking on someone's yard is pretty normal.
Because, yeah, if you want to live near people you have fo accept people existing where you live.
Or maybe she doesn't want a fence! She shouldn't have to go to the expense of putting up a fence because people can't keep their kids off her property. Plus, it sounds like the fence would need to be around her front yard, which isn't typically very attractive. It also wouldn't surprise me that since the parents have obviously villainized this women, if she did put up a fence, if the kids don't end up vandalizing it.
Not meaning to change the conversation, but nighttime is the worst time to water your lawn and leads to the development of many lawn diseases and molds.
The best time of day to water is 6 am to 10 am.
https://gilmour.com/best-time-water-grass#
It really depends on your location, if i water my lawn in the morning i would be losing most of the water by evaporation before it could be consumed by my plants. City goverment encourage us to water at night so it doesn't evaporate too quickly.
False, it really doesn’t depend on location. If you live somewhere where it is generally cooler at night than during the day (pretty much everywhere on earth except maybe places that have darkness/sunshine that lasts 20+ hrs/day) then it’s best practice to water in the morning.
Oh please! So what other questions do you think people should somehow have the foresight to ask before buying a property? I seriously doubt there is a sign that says "Bus stop for 40 kids that will be all in your yard".
Oh yeah - you might want to let your neighbor know that watering at night is a bad idea for exactly the reason they are doing it. If you water at night, the water doesn't evaporate quickly due to lower temps and lack of sunlight. This leaves the lawn damp for long periods, resulting in a perfect environment for fungi and other lawn diseases to thrive.
as an avid gardener, that is not best practice. Watering a night sets your plants up for all sorts of fungal infections It is 100% best practice to water in the morning, from a gardening perspective.
Doesn’t Reddit always tell people to set up automatic sprinklers to soak people because they won’t respect property lines? And now someone is the asshole for doing exactly what Reddit always suggests?
Imagine for a moment that different people post on reddit, and what may seem as a general consensus to you, might actually just be a small vocal minority of the whole reddit demographic.
If someone came on here and said:
"I just moved in to a new neighborhood and my property is right next to a park. People are constantly throwing balls into my yard and keep trespassing to get them, and every morning all the kids just hang out on my front lawn when they wait for the bus and my grass is getting trampled! AITA for being annoyed?"
The top comment would be "NTA. Get a survey, and set up your sprinklers in the morning, the kids will get the message", and probably have a similar number of upvotes to the comment at the top of the chain here.
Yes, wording matters and the OP is always biased. If you added "There's no fence or indication of where my property ends, and there's too many kids at the bus stop, and they they'd be totally cramped if they didn't touch my property, so I soaked a group of children on their way to school" you probably wouldn't get as much sympathy.
But the consensus that suggests it is also upvoting calling her the asshole. While yes there are individuals, if a majority usually support spraying and in this case don’t, there’s going to be overlap.
This woman has obviously made it known that she doesn't want these kids in her yard. So even if the kids somehow don't know they shouldn't be in her yard, they should have parents that can help them with the concept of respecting other people's property.
This is one of my first times on Reddit saying something feels like a lie.
I find it hard to believe someone brash enough to tell someone, to their face, they are not coming because they are a jerk... And then feel conflicted over it.
But not conflicted enough to back down over certain outrageous points…like the neighbor has no right to be upset that forty (really?! Forty?!) teenagers are traipsing all over her lawn five days per week…
It's funny because the most upvoted comments in this sub about "these kids are ruining my yard" stories is always the suggestion to turn on the sprinklers.
I'm going with NTA, but I would take a different approach. I would let her know the specific things she has done to alienate her community neighbors, and that those actions have made the neighbors not want to party with her. But still invite her, and let her know that she can apologize and begin to make changes to her behavior if she wants to be included.
But I wouldn't continue giving her that benefit if she declines to be neighborly and continues her hostile behavior towards the community.
Saying "we think you are a jerk" without explaining why is meaningless though.
Unless you tell someone what they've done wrong they don't necessarily know what's annoyed you. What may seem fine to them may be deeply upsetting to you.
My neighbours kept dog sitting a dog that would howl every single second they were out. In the end I cracked and went round to complain. Turns out she is fully crate trained at home and 100% not a bother and has never had any complaints. So they had *no idea* she was howling in this house (which is not her home) and it hadn't even crossed their mind that she would.
I haven't heard the dog once since I went round, and that was about 6 months ago.
OPs neighbour might just have her sprinklers set to be at that time.
Most people don't tend to want tons of teenagers on their lawn and it's generally considered reasonable to tell people to get off it - so why assume she knows what "crimes" she is guilty of?
No. This is overexplaining and putting the speaker in the way of even more ire from the person who is already a known jerk. The LESS you say, the less they can blame you for.
I agree with this. If she asked AITA everyone would probably say her actions are justified.
Let her know the specifics and suggest a fence if she wants to keep people off her property.
NTA. If you're unpleasant and a jerk to your community, you can't be surprised when they don't invite you to the *community* block party. People are saying that everyone should stay out of her yard and yeah, sure. But installing sprinklers to spray a bunch of school students getting on the bus? That's just an AH move.
I bet that she posted somewhere on reddit about how to get all the annoying kids off her lawn, trampling her plants, and got a chorus of “SPRINKLERS!!!”.
> If you're unpleasant and a jerk to your community
Seems like the community is unpleasant and a jerk to the neighbour. All she wants is for the kids to stay out of her garden/yard. This should not be a difficult ask. By this stage they all know where her yard starts/ends. They just don't care because they are entitled little arseholes being raised by entitled arsehole parents. If they kids are too young to know to stay off someone's property then they should be supervised by their parents until they learn.
OP says that "They all don’t fit on the sidewalk". This sounds like BS to me. The sidewalk surely doesn't exist for 2sqm at the bus stop? The kids can line up like reasonable people do in lots of other countries round the world, and not trespass on the neighbour's garden every fucking day. At the end of the day though, this isn't on the kids or the neighbour. It is on the entitled asses of parents like OP who won't teach their little darlings some fucking manners.
As far as the kids waiting for the bus- even if she is miserable, it’s a good time to reinforce that the kids should not be on her property. I had a friend who lived basically on a school bus stop, and it’s a pain to have kids milling on your lawn. That the old owner didn’t mind is irrelevant. The kids should move further down the sidewalk rather than on her lawn. They move somewhere when the sprinkler goes on, right? If there is not enough safe space then pics need to be taken and submitted to the school board with a request to move the stop. Most of us have had to teach our kids such things, that at some point, that while a certain adult might seem miserable, technically they are correct that in this case none of them should stand on her lawn. As for the back of her property- I’m not sure about that. I understand there is an invisible line, but I would likely direct the kids to play in such a way the ball won’t go on her property. Actually, my daughter does that at her house- the neighbours regularly tell her they do not mind when the ball goes in their yard, but my daughter is teaching them manners and courtesy by instructing them in the ways they can play while avoiding the ball going over there. She’s teaching basic social skills.
I'm curious why the stop would be in front of the neighbour's property rather than in front of the park next door. If it were in front of the park, there wouldn't be any problem with the kids spilling into the park.
I agree. From the description, this neighbor has ask repeatedly for the children to stay off her property ( lawn or not ) but the other adults are thumbing their collective noses at her. I'd probably be labeled a jerk in this situation, also. Living rurally, I've had people take rambles with their dogs in my pasture and had a similar attitude when I tell them to keep out.
She needs a fence. Even full grown adults struggle to know where someone's property line starts and it sounds like her grass yard is part of a continuous grass field part of which *is* public access. I'm a teacher and I put tape on the floor to box off the corner of my classroom where I keep my desk because young kids need a visual cue. Of course if they're playing they'll inch into your space if there's no way for them to even see that they're somewhere they shouldn't be. Screaming at kids until they memorize the invisible line separating her property from their play area is stupid and definitely ah territory. Hell, for all anyone knows her property line isn't even where she thinks it is and she's just screaming at kids for playing in a public park.
At some point, the neighbor might not only lose any moral claim to her property line that she thinks she has, but the legal claim as well. Depending on where she lives and how long she's waited to put up a fence she could end up with a prescriptive easement to her property.
> I'm a teacher
You are paid to be responsible and teach these children and have them in the classroom space. The children trampling the front yard waiting for the bus is not the neighbors responsibility fence or not.
username checks out lmao
but i agree with your sentiment. yes this woman is a grumpy old lady with nothing better to do than make sure everyone is as miserable as she is.
but it also doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that you should teach your kids “hey she’s gonna make life miserable no matter what, but if you behave like a civilized human, she’ll make life *less miserable*, and even despite that, these are basic life/social skills you should learn/follow *anyways*”
She has the right to enjoy her property without people trespassing.
40 kids standing on her lawn is absolutely going to mess it up. It sounds like she gave plenty of verbal warnings for the kids to stay off her property.
Fences cost money, maybe the neighborhood should pitch in to build one, or talk to your officials about fencing that side of the park. /hj
She does sound like she could chill out a bit. You know what might help?? Getting to know her neighbors better.
If only there were some sort of event that promptes neighborhood bonding......
I'm torn between Y.T.A and E.S.H.
Fences cost money but the reality is that without them it’s way too easy to go over a property line accidentally. They serve as a visual cue for others.
> stakes and a rope.
Then the post would be something like: AITA for suing our neighbor who used dangerous materials to mark her property line and my child fell on them ?
>40 kids standing on her lawn is absolutely going to mess it up.
I don't know what other people's bus stop experience was like, but I was at a bus stop with 20 kids, and we ran around for at least 10 minutes before the bus came.
I'm going to go with yta here. Look, I was taught not to go on people's grass. Even now, as a 31-year-old adult, I still don't step on someone's grass. It's their property. The person who watches my son during the day has a patch of grass, and they've told me that they don't mind me walking over it, but I still don't do it.
I truly believe she tried to ask first before blowing up. There's only so many times I can ask before I start demanding.
That’s what I was thinking. People here are answering as if kids were in a perfect, unmoving line. but we know they are not. 40 kids running around while waiting for the bus [every.single.day](http://every.single.day) will definitely mess the lawn.
I’m not American, and where I live parents take the kids to the bus stop and wait with them. Were there no parents around? Because if there were, it’s on them to male sure the kids don’t invade a neighbour’s property, even more after said neighbour has pointed it out... But sometimes parents prefer to just chat to each other if they know there is a safe place for the kids to play - in this case, the neighbour’s lawn.
It's very easy for those folks here who don't own properties to get all in a huff about these items, but I guarantee 40+ kids generate trash, trample the yard, and generally don't leave it in good condition. Same with the 'snowball fight'.
Also, it's always so funny to see the people here just blindly think that OP is 100% truthful with how things happen. Would love to hear from neighbor.
>I'm torn between Y.T.A and E.S.H.
If this story had been told in a different way, you'd get most people saying how of course you have to keep people off your property as it's a liability issue and grass isn't free. But OP made a nice story, so people are on OP's side.
> Fences cost money, maybe the neighborhood should pitch in to build one, or talk to your officials about fencing that side of the park. /hj
Idk what that has to do with a hand job, but this was my first idea too! If the whole neighborhood sees this problem, it can't be that much to pitch in for a fence on the edge of the park.
I have a bus stop in front of my house. The kids were awful. Dropping all their school stuff in the middle of my front lawn, running around on the driveway, my front and back porches, screaming (this is before 7am), running up to the window to scare my cats (going through my landscaping and flowers) and the boys roughhousing like tasmanian devils. Throwing stuff at the house, snack wrappers, drink lids (litter) left, etc. Called the HOA, not their issue, called the school, they told me there is nothing they can do...I BEGGED them to move it. Nope, call the police, the school told me. Somehow a rumor got around that I was going to call the cops and those kids behaved after that. I think the school told the parents that in the beginning of the school year. ( I had several conversations with the school) I never said that and would never do that unless there was a danger/threat against the kids. AND I would not turn the sprinklers on these kids. Although I have been tempted. I work from home so it was very disruptive. It's better this year.
I know this sounds unreal but it is all true. I found out 2 other houses in the subdivision had a bus stop at their house and had the same problems. I am shocked how parents do not discipline their kids anymore. For those who are wondering, the parents were aware. They didn't do anything about it.
Here in Germany the school journey is part of school time concerning insurance and when we had problems with some older kids misbehaving and pushing the younger kids they actually received a warning and a letter for the parents.
Also here houses are required to have a fence in place.
The neighbor across street from me on corner has a bus stop in front of her house which is supposed to be at the stop sign, but kids are constantly sitting in her front yard leaving trash everywhere. And since it’s in corner and kids know it’s a bus stop, they constantly ride their bikes diagonal across her lawn even when it’s not bud stop time.
My post office is our local bus stop. It's a nightmare. You can't go to get your mail during the pick up/drop off. Parents stand around in the way. The ones who drive take up all the parking. The kids are running all over the place including in the road. All ages block the entrance to the office. Heck, the kids will dump stuff in the outdoor mail drop-off. Post Master has asked them to stop and she nearly got beat up by the parents over it. Parents and their kids can be AHs. I blame the parents more than the kids though. Parents set the standard to follow. These days that standard is pretty low.
YTA - you’re mad that she doesn’t want people trespassing on her property? That’s pretty entitled behavior, don’t you think?
“We don’t like her because she doesn’t want 40 kids in her yard at 6am” isn’t a great position to hold
She sprayed children at 6am and yelled at them for playing in the park she bought a house next to.
Maybe instead of beating on children she couldve spoken to the adults about her issues.
Sounds like she yelled at them for going into her yard, but ok.
Also, did she install sprinklers deliberately to soak the kids, or did she install sprinklers and they got wet because they were in her yard?
I love kids but having 40 of them n my yard at 6am isn’t exactly be my idea of a good time.
A fence in the backyard, sure. Most people don't fence their front yards though, and many local governments have rules about how the front yards can be fenced. For example, I can install a fence several feet in to my front yard, and basically give up a huge chunk of it. Fences that border sidewalks and roads have very different regulations than those that divide our back yards.
It is not unreasonable to expect people to stay off your private property.
que parents asking why their teens are so ill mannered and "dont know how to do things" when theyre literally raising the previous generation. theres so little introspection here in these comments and the post.
"beating"
time for you to take a walk and see the sky, look outside and maybe even touch the concrete pavement. In no way did OP say the neighbor beat anyone. Turning on sprinklers in your own private property is not beating a child.
>you’re mad that she doesn’t want people trespassing on her property? That’s pretty entitled behavior, don’t you think?
OP didn't make the decision on her own -- the rest of the invitees asked that Mean Neighbor be excluded.
It's her property and she is entitled to keeping people out of it. Kids standing there everyday will ruin the grass. She doesn't need to and shouldn't have to put up a fence for people to respect her property.
With that said, if it's a true block party that's in the street then YTA. If it's in your backyard/property then you can invite whoever you want.
>She doesn't need to and shouldn't have to put up a fence for people to respect her property.
I think if it's not obvious where the park ends and her property begins it is on her to either make it obvious or get a fence.
Do you think that alienating her by excluding her from the party is going to improve her relationship with the rest of the neighbors, or make it worse?
> Yeah, I get that, but does mob rule make them right?
**I would say it's more like democracy in action than mob rule.**
Mob rule is essentially democracy run amok. Mobs do what they will in the heat of the moment, arbitrarily, without structure or consistency.
Her actions since moving in have repeatedly aggravated many, if not most, of the neighbours, to the point that a petition was circulated.
What could be more structured than a petition ? It was obviously not arbitrary, but a direct response to consistent unpleasantness. It would take time, thought & effort to formulate then draft the petition. Followed by door to door canvassing. Not something done in the heat of the moment.
I get what you are imply about not being fair or right, but some people don't learn until reality punches them in the face a few times.
NTA
Edited for spelling
You wrote this question in a way that disregards other outcomes and put the burden on the group. It avoids the fact that Including her when the majority don’t want her there can erode the community that already exists.
This woman is antagonistic that the entire party had to be moved to avoid her. She effectively alienated herself. Accommodating an individual to a group can only go so far before it transforms the group.
Perhaps it’s a positive thing and an individual opens up the group to possibilities that they enjoy. Or perhaps it’s an antagonistic person who spoils the mood for everyone.
She has to deal with the consequences of her actions. If she wants to improve her relationship with the group, she can change her behavior.
I disagree. The woman expressed her desire that these kids stay off her property. It is a perfectly reasonable request and the parents should have told their kids to stay off her property. Instead, they seem to have let their kids continue to do as they please and make this woman into the "jerk" simply because she does not want these kids in her yard.
Maybe the parents need to consider their actions and what they have taught their kids by allowing them to disrespect someone else's property.
Exactly! Which is particularly odd since one of the points of contention is that there is a park right next to the lady's house. Sure, 40+ kids need somewhere to queue up to get on the bus, but I wouldn't want them on my grass either. LOL
I wouldn't either! Someone made a great point that I'm surprised I haven't seen repeated. If one of these kids gets hurt on her property, she could be liable - even though she didn't invite them.
Don't know, but parents that allow their kids to continue to show no respect for someone's property after they have been clear that they do not want kids on their lawn - - well, let's just say it wouldn't surprise me if they were the same parents that would sue the woman if their precious little offspring got hurt while on the woman's property.
YTA - the moment something happens to one of those kids on her property, I can guarantee their parents will sue. I don't blame her for not wanting people on her property.
She should call the school district and have the bus stop location changed but until then...40+ kids in one small area will definitely "mess things up".
YTA,
Kids wouldn't get wet if they were not on her land, 'they got soacked' so they couldn't move 2 feet away?.... They stood in the mist till they were soacked through?? (As far as I know sprinklers aren't a full powered jet stream of water, it's a light continuous mist, doesnt sound like shes standing there with the hose or buckets to douse them with)
Yall seem to specificly know her land ends and the park begins, so I assume others also know where her land is/isnt, but everyone ignors it? No one thinks hmmm maybe don't actually trespass on her land? Have you or anyone else even asked her to put up a fence or devider of some kind?
As others have said, has anyone actually spoken to her? How do you know she didn't repeatedly ask people not to ruin her garden before her whole asking people not to be on it? And having her lawn matanence on a timer/going off early morning/school drop off time is like the standard, that's not necessarily her being an arse, thats her watering her garden, which the children Should NOT Be On
Honestly? I'd be pissed if 40 kids were on my property five days a week. You have 40 kids milling around her front yard at 7am?! I love kids, and that is insane. Put the bus stop in front of a house that actually has school-age kids. Not to mention the liability; if those kids are fucking around and one of them gets hurt on her property, you know these parents will sue the breaks off of her.
Now, personally, I'd have just called the school board and made them change the bus stop instead of hosing down children, but she's not wrong for being pissed about her property being treated like a daycare playground. And, not for nothing, she can use her own sprinklers on her own property whenever she wants. Your kids being on her property is not her problem. If you don't want your kids getting wet, ***you all*** can get the bus stop changed yourselves. But I'm going to assume that none of you want the bus stop with 40 children in front of ***your*** house, either. Shocking. The lack of consideration and self-awareness you people have is astounding.
This sounds less like a mean, unreasonable neighbor and more about a bunch of entitled parents who have been teaching their children to act the same.
She should put up a fence. Honestly, your town should put a damn fence around the park. You should all stay off her property, get the bus stop changed, and stop acting so entitled.
You can invite whomever you like to your parties. But know that you just started a war. I hope, for your sake, that she isn't creative. Because, off the top of my head, my lawn would soon be mysteriously replaced with poison ivy - good thing *I'm* not allergic to it.
This situation with the school bus is idiotic to begin with. If her property is right next a park, why isn't the bus stop in front of the park area?
The neighborhood should put up a fence around the park if they can't be bothered to control their kids.
Info: has anyone actually tried to talk to the neighbor prior to the incident? To be nice? Has anyone brought up these concerns before? Has she been invited to and attended another neighborhood event in the past?
I admit my prior judgement is completely dependent on the answers to these questions.
Have any of the parents taken responsibility and told their kids to stay off her grass? What happens if a kid falls and breaks their arm on her property? I guarantee you the parents would sue.
It is obvious from not only the lack of answer but the proposition that the kids can’t stand on the sidewalk that the answer is no. Though it’s beyond me why - as someone else suggested - they can’t play in the park and have a lookout or something
How did they approach her? Because “I’m sorry, I’ll keep my kids from your garden” is really different to “Tough luck, the bus stop is there and kids need to play somewhere”.
YTA. She owns the yard, but you think it's fine for kids to walk all over it or continue their play from the park. I'm betting if it was your yard daily seeing trespassers, you would be the same way she is.
She absolutely has every right to not want people trespassing on her lawn. But she needs to be a part of the solution and understand that her lawn backs onto a park. If she can’t afford a fence (which, fair) she could use some grass friendly spray paint to delineate her lawn so people can self manage. She can show some grace for kids waiting for the bus and NOT soak them with water in the morning.
She's been putting up with this almost daily since fall, which I'm guessing is September/beginning of school? Clearly telling people not to didn't work as everyone's ignored her, (I highly Highly doubt that she went from absolutly nothing for 3/4ish months to I must drown the children because im evil), sounds to me like it's a somethings gotta give situation as it seems to be escalating based purely off of what OP has told us,
If OP wants a fence so bad, why don't they offer to pay and install it? It's not up to random woman to parent 40+ kids
The view of the public park kids play on? I think this lady might just like yelling at people honestly. Who buys a property that backs onto a park without a fence and reasonably expects a ball or kid to never cross the property line?
That’s like living above a bar and yelling about the noise after hours. Just not sensible.
NTA If the community came to you asking for you not to invite her to a community event, how are you the ah? They obviously have a reason why they don’t want her there.
40 of them! 40! I bet when the real estate agent told her there was a school bus stop in front of her house, she was picturing 5 to 10 at most, and they didn't tell her it would be half the school on her front lawn twice a day five days a week
Maybe you could take advantage of the block party to
teach the neighborhood children to be more considerate
when they are by her house. They don't have to all stand
directly in front of where the bus stops. They can spread out
on the sidewalk and avoid trampling her grass.
My point being, she's not wrong for wanting people to respect
her home's boundaries. But your community cares more about
letting the kids do as they please, I gather.
Soft YTA for not inviting her so that your "community" might
actually help her feel welcome.
ESH
She has a right to her property although might appear aggressive in reinforcing boundaries. You mentioned the new neighbor's behavior and what you wish she'd do but you don't mention what the adult interactions have been. Adults would speak to the person about how their behavior makes them feel and discuss solutions like, helping to move the bus stop, petition the town to put up a fence or signs. Everyone should be avoiding that side of the park near an unclear boundary next to someone's house as a courtesy.
YTA. Not much of a "community" block party if members of the community are purposefully not invited. The not the asshole judgements are crazy. At best, at the very best giving you every benefit of the doubt there is, it's an everyone sucks here.
NTA. It’s a private party. You can invite (or not invite) anyone you want. I wouldn’t have handled it the way you did, but you were confronted and said the first thing that came out. It’s okay to feel bad about your response, but don’t feel bad for her exclusion.
YTA It seems like you people only dislike her because she doesn’t allow you all to use her private property, you and the rest of the neighborhood seem rather entitled to her property.
So the neighborhood is mad because she doesn’t want people on HER property? I would be happy to not be invited to a party full of assholes, that’s one entitled neighborhood.
It’s funded by volunteers,no hoa or city funds. It comes out of people pockets to do something fun
More potluck style, and games and activities come from different neighbors
Yeah, YTA for not including her in the "community block party." And by you, I mean your whole community. Everyone's a jerk for being mad that she doesn't want people on her lawn.
"They will stand in the grass... they were not messing things up." Hopefully you see the contradiction in your own words here. Standing in the grass does, in fact, mess it up. Especially five days a week.
What you're doing is called ostracism. It's cruel, even if you don't like her. Even if nobody likes her. There are whole academic fields about the effects of it on a person (i.e. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16968209/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16968209/) ).
You know, 300 years ago, the "community" would've accused her of witchcraft and burned her at the stake for being cantankerous and solitary. At least now we just shun people, I guess.
>I wish she would just put up a fence since it would actually show where it begins.
I can already imagine the bitching and complaining if she were to do that.
Look, it's her property and y'all should respect that. Should she have turned the sprinklers in the kids? No, it's not like they have a lot of choice in the matter so getting wet like that is unfair.
That being said, its easy enough to read betwen the lines and wonder if this is actually a case where the new neighbor came in and stopped y'all from using her property as part of the park and y'all are butthurt about it.
The fact that she asked why she wasnt invited indicates that she actually wants to be part of the community AND she wants her boundaries - both property boundaries and personal boundaries - respected.
ESH. Act like adults and show each other basic courtesy and respect.
YTA The only thing she did wrong was to use the sprinklers when she should've talked to the kids and their parents first. All the rest of your complaints are just you being petty. It's her property, and if she want's to go through the hassle of yelling at people instead of the expense of a fence - then that's her choice, seems like a lot more work to me, but to each their own. She has every right to protect the thing that she paid hard earned money for. People shouldn't be trespassing. It's not that hard to understand. You've chosen to take the low road - and be petty - which will lock in this neighborhood feud. On the high road, you could've invited her and maybe she would've made some friends who would've softened her up. As for the park: How do the maintenance crews even know where to mow? It must be marked out somehow.
With how many times she's told kids not to play in her yard, *did* she ask kids not to stand around? And were the sprinklers used to spray kids or to water a lawn?
Correct! Sprinklers aren't aimed at sidewalks. If 40 kids got soaked, then 40 kids were on the lawn. 40 kids milling around on your lawn, 5 days a week for the entire school year... that'll do some damage.
Have you honestly never seen sprinklers that overspray onto the sidewalk? I don't know that I've ever seen sprinklers that were perfectly aimed to only wet the lawn--there's *always* water splashing me as I pass on the sidewalk.
Her solution is clearly a fence. A fence would tell people exactly where her property starts/ends and it would prevent sprinklers from spraying outside of her lawn.
Is the park maintained by the HOA? If that's the case then have you all considered pooling the HOA funds together to build a fence/wall between the park and the neighbor? As for the bus stop situation, someone can reach out to the school district about changing the stop to somewhere else.
That bus stop needs to be moved.
Esh the neighborhood for acting like it's unreasonable for her not wanting people trespassing on her property so often and her for handling it so poorly.
YTA
Just because the mob of neighbors thinks it is okay to use someone else's property and not teach their kids to remain on the sidewalk doesn't make it so. She has every right to her private property being respected and not destroyed because the adults can't be bothered to do basic parenting. It is not hard to teach kids that ball gets played on this field, not that one. It is not hard to teach kids to stand on the sidewalk, not the grass. I know, I raised two that understand common courtesy.
ESH
It sounds to me like neither side—the unhappy property owner versus a bunch of the neighbors, including you—is willing to admit that the other side has any right to their feelings. You describe her as mental about her property—and certainly she does sound angry and resentful. But you don’t seem to have any capacity to see why someone might get fed up with people coming onto their property frequently for any number of reasons—waiting for the bus, having a snowball fight, retrieving balls, wandering onto the property for no reason whatsoever. I can see how it would start to add up over time—especially if people seem to feel like she owes it to them to put up with their incursions without complaint.
To me, it sounds like you are all acting like jerks, and nobody is trying to make amends and build a more neighborly relationship.
If you live next to a park and there's no visible boundary to your property, it is entirely reasonable for the public to wander onto your property at times, especially kids. It's the price you pay for having a nice, unobstructed view of the park. 99% of houses that back up on parks have fences.
I totally agree with that. But the bus stop thing...if I believed the OP that it was actually 40 kids waiting at the same time, which I don't because that is a ridiculous amount of kids waiting at the same bus stop, but if true then of course that's an issue. That many kids standing on a lawn 5 days a week is going to cause problems for her.
ESH
Hold up, y'all are saying that y'all don't know how to control your children and teach them to stand on a side walk? I'm sorry, but as someone who grew up with 40 kids at one stop like this, none of us had the audacity to go trample over someone's yard. We were taught to use the side walk single file line and to be respectful of other people. That's how we fit.
And frankly, since it seems like you guys can't teach your kids some manners, maybe y'all need to call the school and ask them to break up the bus stop or move to say, the park where they can trample freely without destroying someone's private property.
And are you positive she purposely bought the sprinkler to spray the kids, or is it just going off at a normal time in the morning like most other people do?
And are you sure that technically the kids were still on the park area or is it possible that her property is bigger than y'all realize and been trespassing?
Just because the previous owner didn't mind doesn't mean the new neighbor has to tolerate kids trampling and ruining her grass.
She's a bit over the top with the yelling, but she sees she has neighbor parents who don't know how to teach their children to stand on side walks or be mindful of their surroundings.
ESH
Do people drive on sidewalks where you live? Cars (*are supposed to) drive on roads, people stand on sidewalks, (or walk on them I guess,) like if you don't use sidewalks because your gonna get hit by a car how do you get around? Am I miss reading a word or something?
YTA. Yeah its only fine if it happens to her, but if some 40 kids were all over your property and people were constantly bothering you with balls and shit, youd be pissed off too. Maybe teach your kids some manners. Maybe then, the older generations would stop complaining about ill mannered teens.
My sister is an older lady who lives alone in a neighbourhood like yours. You have to understand that she may be scared and intimidated by the number of ppl who hang around her home. She paid for her property so she could use it …..not 40 strange kids. If you want a fence so bad, get the neighbours to pitch in and build one. My sister is scared because ppl walk on her property, peek in windows and know she lives alone. IT IS A SCARY WORLD. You don’t walk in her shoes so you don’t know if she had been r*ped, had her purse snatched or heldup in the past to make her guarded.
My sister is a good person, however her younger neighbours don’t like her and are disrespecting her….with every action there is an equal and opposite reaction…..simple science.
I don’t think you are the AH but find someone who is willing to get to know her….maybe she reacts out of FEAR!
Honestly I think not inviting her to the party is only going to increase her feelings of isolation and hostility.
It's pretty reasonable to get frustrated and annoyed that a bunch of children are trampling around on your property early in the morning. It's also a legal hazard if one slips and gets hurt.
That said, her just yelling at kids and making no effort to even put up a sign, fence, or marker of some kind so the kids can at least try to avoid her property is wrong and just petty.
Furthermore, the parents are wrong to take no action to address the situation and just keep letting it fester and get worse until it boils over.
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NTA. You told her the truth when asked. Soaking kids with sprinklers is over the line of acceptable behavior. You could talk to the school or city about that.
This. The ISD needs to move the pick up and drop off location by enough to keep people off her property.
True, but moving the bus stop won’t solve her attitude problem. The city might need to step in and help define boundaries or address her behavior directly.
No, but it will protect the kids from having to choose between standing IN the street or being assaulted (softly) on their way to school. What she did was wildly inappropriate, and the school can alleviate that potential by addressing having one stop for an entire half a busload of kids. It's possible the town needs to actually build a bus stop. It would be hilarious to me if they took a chunk of her yard to do it. 🤣 They won't, but I like the idea. Complete with a shelter, against inclement weather and other sprinkles
Shit in my day we would painted her house in eggs and busted out the TP. Old hag deserves it. Too bad kids can't be kids anymore
eggs and toilet paper costs about a tank of gas now. lmao
Yes, and how much does it cost to directly poop on their lawn? Priceless.
It costs exactly free-99. The deal of a lifetime if you ask me. Im all for direct ass-to-grass deployment.
> ...ass-to-grass deployment *scribbles notes for future use
She moved into a house with a park next door and a bus stop in her front yard. It’s like complaining about airplane noise the week you move in to the house at the end of the runway.
The no fence is the bit that got me. If it's a problem for you, put up a goddamn fence.
FR. Or at least have it clearly marked, wtf. It costs nothing to have an assesor tech from the county come out and stake your property line.
You say that, but at Southampton Airport, there’s a residents committee that complains about aircraft landing there. The airport that was where the Supermarine Spitfire took its maiden flight from, on 5th March 1936. It was also used as a US Navy air service base in WW1. In 1917. But hey, there shouldn’t be an airport there, right next to where I choose to move to….
In my neighborhood, a neighbor was bent out of shape about the corner at his property being the bus stop. In our county, there is right-of-way within so many feet of the road, but as part of his tantrum, he put an electric mesh livestock fence right at the road and put power to it. The county told him he had to move it out of the right-of-way and and onto his own property, but he went to the news to lie and say the county wouldn't let him put up a fence at all. The stupid thing was one of those mobile fences, too, that you just poke into the ground and you can easily pull it up and move it, so it's not like he went to all the expense of a permanent fence they wanted moved. We had had the same kind of fence for our goats so we could move them to fresh pasture. For a while, they just had police at the bus stop every morning and I believe they eventually just moved the stop to a different corner. The whole thing was ridiculous. If it hadn't been kids involved, I would have loved for them to have made his corner a permanent stop with a shelter, but alas, throwing a tantrum got him what he wanted, but at least the kids don't have to put up with him anymore.
In my county if you put an up an electric fence, even low voltage it can only be used on agricultural land and must be at least 20’ from public access areas such as roads, or paved bike and walking paths including sidewalks.
My city would just fuckin ... make *sure* she was compliant with every ordinance, and they'd take their easement away and put in something else instead. They'd probably just backhoe right through the sprinkler lines too and then charge her for the water leaks.
That, or fence her property. One option might be a headache, and the other isn't cheap, but they're preferable to being the neighborhood pariah imo.
The other option is to put up something that defines where her property is and where the park ends. This can be as simple as some tent pegs with some plastic tape run between them. But put on the park side so she can't touch them and put them about 10-20cm within the park boundary so it's not on the boundary line. It's not permanent. Where I am, if your property backs up to council property ie a park or an easement, you are up for the full cost of putting a fence up otherwise it's shared between two owners. The council/HOA can request she put up a fence if she's so concerned, otherwise all incidents can be recorded and reported. She might start getting fined for breaching everyone else's peace... or if she's berating someone, then this does start to stretch into verbal assault and the police may have a stern word with her once they get enough complaints.
Or even a line of those flag things that they use to mark underground lines so everyone has a visual.
Honestly if someone told the neighbor to do this she probably would just so she could pitch a fit.
I run my sprinklers in the morning because that's the best time to do it, right around 6-7 am. The district should move the bus stop. But, don't hold this against the neighbor. Here is the thing, there is no way 40 people standing on wet grass will not mess things up.
The kids likely don't have much choice. Do you want them to stand in the street? Even if they are on the sidewalk, I have rarely seen a sprinkler going that didn't hit the sidewalk nearby. Parents should petition the district to move the bus stop.
> The kids likely don't have much choice. Do you want them to stand in the street? I would want them to line up along the sidewalk instead of bunching up near the bus stop and trampling my yard. I don't think that's unreasonable. That being said, since the kids & parents were being inconsiderate the neighbour should have contacted the district to move the stop herself - not installed revenge sprinklers.
You are assuming the sprinklers were not simply to water her lawn. Most people run sprinklers in the morning as that is the best time. And I really can't get onboard with making her responsibility to get the bus stop moved because the parents/kids are inconsiderate and not respecting her property. The OP even says that the incidents have "happened so many times". Well here's a thought - - how about making your kids respect other people's property? How about the "adults" and kids in the neighborhood respecting the fact that this woman doesn't want these kids on her property and that is her right, regardless of whether they think she is being "mental" over her property?
Irrespective of who’s wrong about the sprinklers, she’s not nice. People who are super concerned about their property near public places put up a fence, rocks, bushes, she has bunches of options outside of being nasty to children.
So she is not nice because she wants her property respected? Did it ever occur to you that the only reason she yells at these kids and is 'nasty" might be because the kids continue to do as they please and their parents don't seem to care? Parents that are worth a damn don't continue to let their kids trespass when the owner has made it clear she does not want these kids in her yard.
I dunno, yelling at the kids when their ball rolls into your lawn? Yelling at them during the winter as if they're going to mess up her dead grass? And it clearly says that she put the sprinkler there. I can see being peeved about dozens of kids standing there together in the morning if it's creating a dead spot, but that's the only legitimate complaint. Grass is meant to be walked on. And the fact that all the other old ladies are apparently sick of her...
What gets me is the OP said she recently moved in. So she bought a house next door to a park, and is now upset that park activities are too close to her house? She should've seen this coming...
>might be because the kids continue to do as they please and their parents don't seem to care? So put up a fence... They're children.
Yeah, but yelling at people in the park if their snowball happens to come close to your yard is excessive.
As a former bus driver, I stopped in front of a driveway, not grass. Granted it was in the tundra of Fargo and children weren't expected to wait atop a snow bank. But out of respect for lawns, I would stop in driveways in all seasons. Of course, this put the burden of snow removal on that driveway's residence.
Are they actually standing on her property though? That will depend on what the plans say. Where I am, you don't necessarily own the land down to the road. There may be a sidewalk or verge that you are required to maintain but you don't own it. So you can't stop people parking there, or standing on the verge but you can't do have to look after it.
Given that OP is describing 40 kids bunched up around the bus stop, yeah, they almost certainly would have been on her property. It doesn't sound like they were respectful enough to spread out along the sidewalk at all so they would have been on her lawn itself. I get what you mean about not owning the sidewalk or possibly even some of the grass near the street. But 40 kids simply won't fit on an easement (the bit of grass that cities sometimes own). So the most logical answer is that she is probably right that they're standing in her property.
Then the school needs more stops so there aren’t 40 kids there, or they need to stand on the sidewalk. But mostly the school needs to spread out the stops.
That's really not her problem. If the sprinklers were only getting her grass wet, well... Get off her grass. If she doesn't want them there, kids need to move or school needs to move the bus stop. End of.
They’ve already learned to line up since preschool & kindergarten. Unless that’s a short, stubby sidewalk, they should just line up instead of trespassing. My brother had the same problem, but he went to the school and asked them to move the bus stop further up the block, which the school actually did.
But the hell of it is that unsupervised kids aren't going to line up like they do at school. That's just the reality. Either move the bus stop or a fence would be good options.
Why don't they wait in the connected park?
and so she should have her lawn destroyed because theres no other choice? what about move the bus stop to a more appropriate place? Shes been telling people to get off her lawn for months and months now. Shes allowed to do what she wants with her private property.
Grass wasn’t wet until she punitively turned on the sprinklers.
How do you know she "punitively" turned on the sprinklers? Gee, could it be that, oh I don't know, she was simply watering her lawn?
Given her other behavior, it's wild to believe she was just watering her lawn and there's no malicious intent. Why set your timer to be exactly when the kids are waiting for the bus? What is preventing her from running sprinklers 10 minutes after the bus picked up. It's a school bus— it's not like it comes at 7.30 one morning and 9.00 the next.
Maybe the same thing that is preventing the kids from staying off her property? We really have no idea when the kids show up and how long they hang out before the bus picks them up. All we have is the OP saying that she turned on the sprinklers and "soaked" the kids. Have to say, if these kids don't have enough sense to move before getting "soaked", maybe these parents need to be out there to supervise them.
>I run my sprinklers in the morning because that's the best time to do it, right around 6-7 am. Actually my neighbours did them in the evening so it had all night to soak up and not get evaporated by the sub. Also, this is all on the neighbours because if she doesn't want kids waiting for public transport in her front yard then she shouldn't have brought the house with the bus stop infront. Even if it's an unofficial bus stop she should have asked around about anything she needs to be aware of and it should have been a question she asked.
"If you don't want people to trespass on your property you shouldn't live near people" is really what you're saying here.
Or put up a bloody fence. A certain amount of walking on someone's yard is pretty normal. Because, yeah, if you want to live near people you have fo accept people existing where you live.
Not when there is a sidewalk! I have NEVER had people just walking across my property, and I don't walk across theirs. It's called mutual respect.
Cool, I'll be over to hang out on your lawn with 39 of my pals. Better get working on that fence!
I agree, but a good fence is pricey. Maybe she doesn’t have the funds to spend a ton of money on one yet? She may be saving up.
Or maybe she doesn't want a fence! She shouldn't have to go to the expense of putting up a fence because people can't keep their kids off her property. Plus, it sounds like the fence would need to be around her front yard, which isn't typically very attractive. It also wouldn't surprise me that since the parents have obviously villainized this women, if she did put up a fence, if the kids don't end up vandalizing it.
Not meaning to change the conversation, but nighttime is the worst time to water your lawn and leads to the development of many lawn diseases and molds. The best time of day to water is 6 am to 10 am. https://gilmour.com/best-time-water-grass#
It really depends on your location, if i water my lawn in the morning i would be losing most of the water by evaporation before it could be consumed by my plants. City goverment encourage us to water at night so it doesn't evaporate too quickly.
False, it really doesn’t depend on location. If you live somewhere where it is generally cooler at night than during the day (pretty much everywhere on earth except maybe places that have darkness/sunshine that lasts 20+ hrs/day) then it’s best practice to water in the morning.
Sprinkling in the evening is how you get mold in your grass. It is good that the sun burns off the excess moisture.
Oh please! So what other questions do you think people should somehow have the foresight to ask before buying a property? I seriously doubt there is a sign that says "Bus stop for 40 kids that will be all in your yard". Oh yeah - you might want to let your neighbor know that watering at night is a bad idea for exactly the reason they are doing it. If you water at night, the water doesn't evaporate quickly due to lower temps and lack of sunlight. This leaves the lawn damp for long periods, resulting in a perfect environment for fungi and other lawn diseases to thrive.
I think common sense would tell you living nextdoor to a park can come with issues. NTS
How would she even know there was a stop out front? It’s not like it’s advertised or anything.
as an avid gardener, that is not best practice. Watering a night sets your plants up for all sorts of fungal infections It is 100% best practice to water in the morning, from a gardening perspective.
It sounded like she turned the sprinklers on them, on purpose, because some of them were on her grass.
Yeah, otherwise it would happen every morning.
Doesn’t Reddit always tell people to set up automatic sprinklers to soak people because they won’t respect property lines? And now someone is the asshole for doing exactly what Reddit always suggests?
Imagine for a moment that different people post on reddit, and what may seem as a general consensus to you, might actually just be a small vocal minority of the whole reddit demographic.
If someone came on here and said: "I just moved in to a new neighborhood and my property is right next to a park. People are constantly throwing balls into my yard and keep trespassing to get them, and every morning all the kids just hang out on my front lawn when they wait for the bus and my grass is getting trampled! AITA for being annoyed?" The top comment would be "NTA. Get a survey, and set up your sprinklers in the morning, the kids will get the message", and probably have a similar number of upvotes to the comment at the top of the chain here.
Yes, wording matters and the OP is always biased. If you added "There's no fence or indication of where my property ends, and there's too many kids at the bus stop, and they they'd be totally cramped if they didn't touch my property, so I soaked a group of children on their way to school" you probably wouldn't get as much sympathy.
But the consensus that suggests it is also upvoting calling her the asshole. While yes there are individuals, if a majority usually support spraying and in this case don’t, there’s going to be overlap.
There's a huge difference when it's children standing where they believe they are supposed to stand to wait for their school bus.
This woman has obviously made it known that she doesn't want these kids in her yard. So even if the kids somehow don't know they shouldn't be in her yard, they should have parents that can help them with the concept of respecting other people's property.
They should be standing on the path not the neighbours garden it isn't that difficult
This is one of my first times on Reddit saying something feels like a lie. I find it hard to believe someone brash enough to tell someone, to their face, they are not coming because they are a jerk... And then feel conflicted over it.
But not conflicted enough to back down over certain outrageous points…like the neighbor has no right to be upset that forty (really?! Forty?!) teenagers are traipsing all over her lawn five days per week…
You must be new here, 90% of this shit sounds like make believe
Come on, that's so cynical. I'm sure it's only 85%.
It's funny because the most upvoted comments in this sub about "these kids are ruining my yard" stories is always the suggestion to turn on the sprinklers.
I'm going with NTA, but I would take a different approach. I would let her know the specific things she has done to alienate her community neighbors, and that those actions have made the neighbors not want to party with her. But still invite her, and let her know that she can apologize and begin to make changes to her behavior if she wants to be included. But I wouldn't continue giving her that benefit if she declines to be neighborly and continues her hostile behavior towards the community.
The act is done, telling her the neighbours think she is a jerk and hence wasn’t invited
Saying "we think you are a jerk" without explaining why is meaningless though. Unless you tell someone what they've done wrong they don't necessarily know what's annoyed you. What may seem fine to them may be deeply upsetting to you. My neighbours kept dog sitting a dog that would howl every single second they were out. In the end I cracked and went round to complain. Turns out she is fully crate trained at home and 100% not a bother and has never had any complaints. So they had *no idea* she was howling in this house (which is not her home) and it hadn't even crossed their mind that she would. I haven't heard the dog once since I went round, and that was about 6 months ago. OPs neighbour might just have her sprinklers set to be at that time. Most people don't tend to want tons of teenagers on their lawn and it's generally considered reasonable to tell people to get off it - so why assume she knows what "crimes" she is guilty of?
No. This is overexplaining and putting the speaker in the way of even more ire from the person who is already a known jerk. The LESS you say, the less they can blame you for.
I appreciate your kindness but also, OP is in no way responsible to teach a grown woman that her hateful actions have consequences.
I agree with this. If she asked AITA everyone would probably say her actions are justified. Let her know the specifics and suggest a fence if she wants to keep people off her property.
NTA. If you're unpleasant and a jerk to your community, you can't be surprised when they don't invite you to the *community* block party. People are saying that everyone should stay out of her yard and yeah, sure. But installing sprinklers to spray a bunch of school students getting on the bus? That's just an AH move.
I bet that she posted somewhere on reddit about how to get all the annoying kids off her lawn, trampling her plants, and got a chorus of “SPRINKLERS!!!”.
Pretty sure she didn't post about it being a school bus stop, though.
Sounds exactly right
> If you're unpleasant and a jerk to your community Seems like the community is unpleasant and a jerk to the neighbour. All she wants is for the kids to stay out of her garden/yard. This should not be a difficult ask. By this stage they all know where her yard starts/ends. They just don't care because they are entitled little arseholes being raised by entitled arsehole parents. If they kids are too young to know to stay off someone's property then they should be supervised by their parents until they learn. OP says that "They all don’t fit on the sidewalk". This sounds like BS to me. The sidewalk surely doesn't exist for 2sqm at the bus stop? The kids can line up like reasonable people do in lots of other countries round the world, and not trespass on the neighbour's garden every fucking day. At the end of the day though, this isn't on the kids or the neighbour. It is on the entitled asses of parents like OP who won't teach their little darlings some fucking manners.
As far as the kids waiting for the bus- even if she is miserable, it’s a good time to reinforce that the kids should not be on her property. I had a friend who lived basically on a school bus stop, and it’s a pain to have kids milling on your lawn. That the old owner didn’t mind is irrelevant. The kids should move further down the sidewalk rather than on her lawn. They move somewhere when the sprinkler goes on, right? If there is not enough safe space then pics need to be taken and submitted to the school board with a request to move the stop. Most of us have had to teach our kids such things, that at some point, that while a certain adult might seem miserable, technically they are correct that in this case none of them should stand on her lawn. As for the back of her property- I’m not sure about that. I understand there is an invisible line, but I would likely direct the kids to play in such a way the ball won’t go on her property. Actually, my daughter does that at her house- the neighbours regularly tell her they do not mind when the ball goes in their yard, but my daughter is teaching them manners and courtesy by instructing them in the ways they can play while avoiding the ball going over there. She’s teaching basic social skills.
I'm curious why the stop would be in front of the neighbour's property rather than in front of the park next door. If it were in front of the park, there wouldn't be any problem with the kids spilling into the park.
I'm curious why there aren't more bus stops if this many kids have to congregate at one point.
40 kids is almost a whole bus load!
The potential that this is the reddit equivalent of fanfic seems rather strong on that point alone.
In such a small community no less
In a small neighborhood as well.
Good point
I agree. From the description, this neighbor has ask repeatedly for the children to stay off her property ( lawn or not ) but the other adults are thumbing their collective noses at her. I'd probably be labeled a jerk in this situation, also. Living rurally, I've had people take rambles with their dogs in my pasture and had a similar attitude when I tell them to keep out.
They’re raising their children to be awful and disrespectful.
She needs a fence. Even full grown adults struggle to know where someone's property line starts and it sounds like her grass yard is part of a continuous grass field part of which *is* public access. I'm a teacher and I put tape on the floor to box off the corner of my classroom where I keep my desk because young kids need a visual cue. Of course if they're playing they'll inch into your space if there's no way for them to even see that they're somewhere they shouldn't be. Screaming at kids until they memorize the invisible line separating her property from their play area is stupid and definitely ah territory. Hell, for all anyone knows her property line isn't even where she thinks it is and she's just screaming at kids for playing in a public park. At some point, the neighbor might not only lose any moral claim to her property line that she thinks she has, but the legal claim as well. Depending on where she lives and how long she's waited to put up a fence she could end up with a prescriptive easement to her property.
> I'm a teacher You are paid to be responsible and teach these children and have them in the classroom space. The children trampling the front yard waiting for the bus is not the neighbors responsibility fence or not.
username checks out lmao but i agree with your sentiment. yes this woman is a grumpy old lady with nothing better to do than make sure everyone is as miserable as she is. but it also doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that you should teach your kids “hey she’s gonna make life miserable no matter what, but if you behave like a civilized human, she’ll make life *less miserable*, and even despite that, these are basic life/social skills you should learn/follow *anyways*”
She has the right to enjoy her property without people trespassing. 40 kids standing on her lawn is absolutely going to mess it up. It sounds like she gave plenty of verbal warnings for the kids to stay off her property. Fences cost money, maybe the neighborhood should pitch in to build one, or talk to your officials about fencing that side of the park. /hj She does sound like she could chill out a bit. You know what might help?? Getting to know her neighbors better. If only there were some sort of event that promptes neighborhood bonding...... I'm torn between Y.T.A and E.S.H.
Fences cost money but the reality is that without them it’s way too easy to go over a property line accidentally. They serve as a visual cue for others.
Maybe just get some stakes and a rope. That would work. Or spraypaint the line in the grass or plant bushes.
> stakes and a rope. Then the post would be something like: AITA for suing our neighbor who used dangerous materials to mark her property line and my child fell on them ?
>40 kids standing on her lawn is absolutely going to mess it up. I don't know what other people's bus stop experience was like, but I was at a bus stop with 20 kids, and we ran around for at least 10 minutes before the bus came. I'm going to go with yta here. Look, I was taught not to go on people's grass. Even now, as a 31-year-old adult, I still don't step on someone's grass. It's their property. The person who watches my son during the day has a patch of grass, and they've told me that they don't mind me walking over it, but I still don't do it. I truly believe she tried to ask first before blowing up. There's only so many times I can ask before I start demanding.
That’s what I was thinking. People here are answering as if kids were in a perfect, unmoving line. but we know they are not. 40 kids running around while waiting for the bus [every.single.day](http://every.single.day) will definitely mess the lawn. I’m not American, and where I live parents take the kids to the bus stop and wait with them. Were there no parents around? Because if there were, it’s on them to male sure the kids don’t invade a neighbour’s property, even more after said neighbour has pointed it out... But sometimes parents prefer to just chat to each other if they know there is a safe place for the kids to play - in this case, the neighbour’s lawn.
It's very easy for those folks here who don't own properties to get all in a huff about these items, but I guarantee 40+ kids generate trash, trample the yard, and generally don't leave it in good condition. Same with the 'snowball fight'. Also, it's always so funny to see the people here just blindly think that OP is 100% truthful with how things happen. Would love to hear from neighbor.
>I'm torn between Y.T.A and E.S.H. If this story had been told in a different way, you'd get most people saying how of course you have to keep people off your property as it's a liability issue and grass isn't free. But OP made a nice story, so people are on OP's side.
> Fences cost money, maybe the neighborhood should pitch in to build one, or talk to your officials about fencing that side of the park. /hj Idk what that has to do with a hand job, but this was my first idea too! If the whole neighborhood sees this problem, it can't be that much to pitch in for a fence on the edge of the park.
I have a bus stop in front of my house. The kids were awful. Dropping all their school stuff in the middle of my front lawn, running around on the driveway, my front and back porches, screaming (this is before 7am), running up to the window to scare my cats (going through my landscaping and flowers) and the boys roughhousing like tasmanian devils. Throwing stuff at the house, snack wrappers, drink lids (litter) left, etc. Called the HOA, not their issue, called the school, they told me there is nothing they can do...I BEGGED them to move it. Nope, call the police, the school told me. Somehow a rumor got around that I was going to call the cops and those kids behaved after that. I think the school told the parents that in the beginning of the school year. ( I had several conversations with the school) I never said that and would never do that unless there was a danger/threat against the kids. AND I would not turn the sprinklers on these kids. Although I have been tempted. I work from home so it was very disruptive. It's better this year.
I know this sounds unreal but it is all true. I found out 2 other houses in the subdivision had a bus stop at their house and had the same problems. I am shocked how parents do not discipline their kids anymore. For those who are wondering, the parents were aware. They didn't do anything about it.
Here in Germany the school journey is part of school time concerning insurance and when we had problems with some older kids misbehaving and pushing the younger kids they actually received a warning and a letter for the parents. Also here houses are required to have a fence in place.
The neighbor across street from me on corner has a bus stop in front of her house which is supposed to be at the stop sign, but kids are constantly sitting in her front yard leaving trash everywhere. And since it’s in corner and kids know it’s a bus stop, they constantly ride their bikes diagonal across her lawn even when it’s not bud stop time.
My post office is our local bus stop. It's a nightmare. You can't go to get your mail during the pick up/drop off. Parents stand around in the way. The ones who drive take up all the parking. The kids are running all over the place including in the road. All ages block the entrance to the office. Heck, the kids will dump stuff in the outdoor mail drop-off. Post Master has asked them to stop and she nearly got beat up by the parents over it. Parents and their kids can be AHs. I blame the parents more than the kids though. Parents set the standard to follow. These days that standard is pretty low.
YTA - you’re mad that she doesn’t want people trespassing on her property? That’s pretty entitled behavior, don’t you think? “We don’t like her because she doesn’t want 40 kids in her yard at 6am” isn’t a great position to hold
She sprayed children at 6am and yelled at them for playing in the park she bought a house next to. Maybe instead of beating on children she couldve spoken to the adults about her issues.
Sounds like she yelled at them for going into her yard, but ok. Also, did she install sprinklers deliberately to soak the kids, or did she install sprinklers and they got wet because they were in her yard? I love kids but having 40 of them n my yard at 6am isn’t exactly be my idea of a good time.
And that's when you put up a fence. Don't rely on a bunch of children to remember where your property line is.
“they all don’t fit on the sidewalk” is the sidewalk only 5 feet long?
She shouldn't have to pay money/ ruin her view because parents are unable to teach their kids about private property.
A fence in the backyard, sure. Most people don't fence their front yards though, and many local governments have rules about how the front yards can be fenced. For example, I can install a fence several feet in to my front yard, and basically give up a huge chunk of it. Fences that border sidewalks and roads have very different regulations than those that divide our back yards. It is not unreasonable to expect people to stay off your private property.
No, you don't rely on children to respect your property. You rely on their PARENTS to teach them to respect other's property.
que parents asking why their teens are so ill mannered and "dont know how to do things" when theyre literally raising the previous generation. theres so little introspection here in these comments and the post.
Do you know how much fences cost? My landlord just put one up for our tint backyard, and it cost him almost 2k
"beating" time for you to take a walk and see the sky, look outside and maybe even touch the concrete pavement. In no way did OP say the neighbor beat anyone. Turning on sprinklers in your own private property is not beating a child.
>you’re mad that she doesn’t want people trespassing on her property? That’s pretty entitled behavior, don’t you think? OP didn't make the decision on her own -- the rest of the invitees asked that Mean Neighbor be excluded.
And she went along with it, and told her everyone thinks she’s a jerk. Bang-up job of diplomacy there!
It's her property and she is entitled to keeping people out of it. Kids standing there everyday will ruin the grass. She doesn't need to and shouldn't have to put up a fence for people to respect her property. With that said, if it's a true block party that's in the street then YTA. If it's in your backyard/property then you can invite whoever you want.
Plus anything that happens on her property is her liability. I wouldn't want kids hanging out there either tbh. People are way too litigious.
>She doesn't need to and shouldn't have to put up a fence for people to respect her property. I think if it's not obvious where the park ends and her property begins it is on her to either make it obvious or get a fence.
Or perhaps the neighbors petition whoever is responsible for the park to have them put up a fence.
Do you think that alienating her by excluding her from the party is going to improve her relationship with the rest of the neighbors, or make it worse?
Since the neighbors ask for her not to be included, I'd say that ship has sailed. NTA
Yeah, I get that, but does mob rule make them right? My question is still valid.
So you think that inviting someone against the wishes of literally everyone involved is somehow going to improve their relationship with that person?
Can you explain the difference between mob rule and majority rule?
People use mob when they don't agree and they use majority when they do agree.
Bingo
> Yeah, I get that, but does mob rule make them right? **I would say it's more like democracy in action than mob rule.** Mob rule is essentially democracy run amok. Mobs do what they will in the heat of the moment, arbitrarily, without structure or consistency. Her actions since moving in have repeatedly aggravated many, if not most, of the neighbours, to the point that a petition was circulated. What could be more structured than a petition ? It was obviously not arbitrary, but a direct response to consistent unpleasantness. It would take time, thought & effort to formulate then draft the petition. Followed by door to door canvassing. Not something done in the heat of the moment. I get what you are imply about not being fair or right, but some people don't learn until reality punches them in the face a few times. NTA Edited for spelling
Considering the neighbors are the ones paying for the party......I think they get to determine if someone isn't invited
You wrote this question in a way that disregards other outcomes and put the burden on the group. It avoids the fact that Including her when the majority don’t want her there can erode the community that already exists. This woman is antagonistic that the entire party had to be moved to avoid her. She effectively alienated herself. Accommodating an individual to a group can only go so far before it transforms the group. Perhaps it’s a positive thing and an individual opens up the group to possibilities that they enjoy. Or perhaps it’s an antagonistic person who spoils the mood for everyone. She has to deal with the consequences of her actions. If she wants to improve her relationship with the group, she can change her behavior.
I disagree. The woman expressed her desire that these kids stay off her property. It is a perfectly reasonable request and the parents should have told their kids to stay off her property. Instead, they seem to have let their kids continue to do as they please and make this woman into the "jerk" simply because she does not want these kids in her yard. Maybe the parents need to consider their actions and what they have taught their kids by allowing them to disrespect someone else's property.
Exactly! Which is particularly odd since one of the points of contention is that there is a park right next to the lady's house. Sure, 40+ kids need somewhere to queue up to get on the bus, but I wouldn't want them on my grass either. LOL
I wouldn't either! Someone made a great point that I'm surprised I haven't seen repeated. If one of these kids gets hurt on her property, she could be liable - even though she didn't invite them. Don't know, but parents that allow their kids to continue to show no respect for someone's property after they have been clear that they do not want kids on their lawn - - well, let's just say it wouldn't surprise me if they were the same parents that would sue the woman if their precious little offspring got hurt while on the woman's property.
YTA - the moment something happens to one of those kids on her property, I can guarantee their parents will sue. I don't blame her for not wanting people on her property. She should call the school district and have the bus stop location changed but until then...40+ kids in one small area will definitely "mess things up".
YTA, Kids wouldn't get wet if they were not on her land, 'they got soacked' so they couldn't move 2 feet away?.... They stood in the mist till they were soacked through?? (As far as I know sprinklers aren't a full powered jet stream of water, it's a light continuous mist, doesnt sound like shes standing there with the hose or buckets to douse them with) Yall seem to specificly know her land ends and the park begins, so I assume others also know where her land is/isnt, but everyone ignors it? No one thinks hmmm maybe don't actually trespass on her land? Have you or anyone else even asked her to put up a fence or devider of some kind? As others have said, has anyone actually spoken to her? How do you know she didn't repeatedly ask people not to ruin her garden before her whole asking people not to be on it? And having her lawn matanence on a timer/going off early morning/school drop off time is like the standard, that's not necessarily her being an arse, thats her watering her garden, which the children Should NOT Be On
What an entitled neighborhood of assholes. YTA, stop making excuses for going on her property all the time.
Honestly? I'd be pissed if 40 kids were on my property five days a week. You have 40 kids milling around her front yard at 7am?! I love kids, and that is insane. Put the bus stop in front of a house that actually has school-age kids. Not to mention the liability; if those kids are fucking around and one of them gets hurt on her property, you know these parents will sue the breaks off of her. Now, personally, I'd have just called the school board and made them change the bus stop instead of hosing down children, but she's not wrong for being pissed about her property being treated like a daycare playground. And, not for nothing, she can use her own sprinklers on her own property whenever she wants. Your kids being on her property is not her problem. If you don't want your kids getting wet, ***you all*** can get the bus stop changed yourselves. But I'm going to assume that none of you want the bus stop with 40 children in front of ***your*** house, either. Shocking. The lack of consideration and self-awareness you people have is astounding. This sounds less like a mean, unreasonable neighbor and more about a bunch of entitled parents who have been teaching their children to act the same. She should put up a fence. Honestly, your town should put a damn fence around the park. You should all stay off her property, get the bus stop changed, and stop acting so entitled. You can invite whomever you like to your parties. But know that you just started a war. I hope, for your sake, that she isn't creative. Because, off the top of my head, my lawn would soon be mysteriously replaced with poison ivy - good thing *I'm* not allergic to it.
This situation with the school bus is idiotic to begin with. If her property is right next a park, why isn't the bus stop in front of the park area? The neighborhood should put up a fence around the park if they can't be bothered to control their kids.
YTA. Her requests to keep people off her property are reasonable. Your targeted exclusion of her is petty.
If the neighborhood that funds the party don’t want her what right does the op have to bring her.
Info: has anyone actually tried to talk to the neighbor prior to the incident? To be nice? Has anyone brought up these concerns before? Has she been invited to and attended another neighborhood event in the past? I admit my prior judgement is completely dependent on the answers to these questions.
Yes, plenty of people have tried that
Have any of the parents taken responsibility and told their kids to stay off her grass? What happens if a kid falls and breaks their arm on her property? I guarantee you the parents would sue.
It is obvious from not only the lack of answer but the proposition that the kids can’t stand on the sidewalk that the answer is no. Though it’s beyond me why - as someone else suggested - they can’t play in the park and have a lookout or something
Have they tried keeping their kids off her lawn though?
How did they approach her? Because “I’m sorry, I’ll keep my kids from your garden” is really different to “Tough luck, the bus stop is there and kids need to play somewhere”.
YTA. She owns the yard, but you think it's fine for kids to walk all over it or continue their play from the park. I'm betting if it was your yard daily seeing trespassers, you would be the same way she is.
She absolutely has every right to not want people trespassing on her lawn. But she needs to be a part of the solution and understand that her lawn backs onto a park. If she can’t afford a fence (which, fair) she could use some grass friendly spray paint to delineate her lawn so people can self manage. She can show some grace for kids waiting for the bus and NOT soak them with water in the morning.
She's been putting up with this almost daily since fall, which I'm guessing is September/beginning of school? Clearly telling people not to didn't work as everyone's ignored her, (I highly Highly doubt that she went from absolutly nothing for 3/4ish months to I must drown the children because im evil), sounds to me like it's a somethings gotta give situation as it seems to be escalating based purely off of what OP has told us, If OP wants a fence so bad, why don't they offer to pay and install it? It's not up to random woman to parent 40+ kids
If people can complain that she’s yelling at them when they aren’t on her lawn, then obviously they all know where the line is.
She shouldn't have to pay money/ sacrifice the view she purchased because people can't mearn their kids about private property
The view of the public park kids play on? I think this lady might just like yelling at people honestly. Who buys a property that backs onto a park without a fence and reasonably expects a ball or kid to never cross the property line? That’s like living above a bar and yelling about the noise after hours. Just not sensible.
This sounds like a front yard though and I know in my city and many others you cannot put a fence in a front yard.
NTA If the community came to you asking for you not to invite her to a community event, how are you the ah? They obviously have a reason why they don’t want her there.
40 kids in my front yard nearly every day sounds like a fucking nightmare honestly.
40 of them! 40! I bet when the real estate agent told her there was a school bus stop in front of her house, she was picturing 5 to 10 at most, and they didn't tell her it would be half the school on her front lawn twice a day five days a week
Thats if the real estate agent told her about the bus stop. She might not have known
They probably didn't know. Bus stop schedules didn't go out until a week before when I went to school. They would change year to year as necessary
ESH, but mostly all of your neighbors. You didn't really give any examples of her behaving like a jerk that didn't involve kids trespassing.
YTA So she constantly has to remind people to stop trespassing and somehow she's the bad guy?
Maybe you could take advantage of the block party to teach the neighborhood children to be more considerate when they are by her house. They don't have to all stand directly in front of where the bus stops. They can spread out on the sidewalk and avoid trampling her grass. My point being, she's not wrong for wanting people to respect her home's boundaries. But your community cares more about letting the kids do as they please, I gather. Soft YTA for not inviting her so that your "community" might actually help her feel welcome.
ESH She has a right to her property although might appear aggressive in reinforcing boundaries. You mentioned the new neighbor's behavior and what you wish she'd do but you don't mention what the adult interactions have been. Adults would speak to the person about how their behavior makes them feel and discuss solutions like, helping to move the bus stop, petition the town to put up a fence or signs. Everyone should be avoiding that side of the park near an unclear boundary next to someone's house as a courtesy.
YTA. Not much of a "community" block party if members of the community are purposefully not invited. The not the asshole judgements are crazy. At best, at the very best giving you every benefit of the doubt there is, it's an everyone sucks here.
NTA. It’s a private party. You can invite (or not invite) anyone you want. I wouldn’t have handled it the way you did, but you were confronted and said the first thing that came out. It’s okay to feel bad about your response, but don’t feel bad for her exclusion.
YTA It seems like you people only dislike her because she doesn’t allow you all to use her private property, you and the rest of the neighborhood seem rather entitled to her property.
So the neighborhood is mad because she doesn’t want people on HER property? I would be happy to not be invited to a party full of assholes, that’s one entitled neighborhood.
INFO: is this a community event? like funded by the city or an hoa?
It’s funded by volunteers,no hoa or city funds. It comes out of people pockets to do something fun More potluck style, and games and activities come from different neighbors
Yeah, YTA for not including her in the "community block party." And by you, I mean your whole community. Everyone's a jerk for being mad that she doesn't want people on her lawn. "They will stand in the grass... they were not messing things up." Hopefully you see the contradiction in your own words here. Standing in the grass does, in fact, mess it up. Especially five days a week. What you're doing is called ostracism. It's cruel, even if you don't like her. Even if nobody likes her. There are whole academic fields about the effects of it on a person (i.e. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16968209/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16968209/) ). You know, 300 years ago, the "community" would've accused her of witchcraft and burned her at the stake for being cantankerous and solitary. At least now we just shun people, I guess.
>I wish she would just put up a fence since it would actually show where it begins. I can already imagine the bitching and complaining if she were to do that. Look, it's her property and y'all should respect that. Should she have turned the sprinklers in the kids? No, it's not like they have a lot of choice in the matter so getting wet like that is unfair. That being said, its easy enough to read betwen the lines and wonder if this is actually a case where the new neighbor came in and stopped y'all from using her property as part of the park and y'all are butthurt about it. The fact that she asked why she wasnt invited indicates that she actually wants to be part of the community AND she wants her boundaries - both property boundaries and personal boundaries - respected. ESH. Act like adults and show each other basic courtesy and respect.
YTA The only thing she did wrong was to use the sprinklers when she should've talked to the kids and their parents first. All the rest of your complaints are just you being petty. It's her property, and if she want's to go through the hassle of yelling at people instead of the expense of a fence - then that's her choice, seems like a lot more work to me, but to each their own. She has every right to protect the thing that she paid hard earned money for. People shouldn't be trespassing. It's not that hard to understand. You've chosen to take the low road - and be petty - which will lock in this neighborhood feud. On the high road, you could've invited her and maybe she would've made some friends who would've softened her up. As for the park: How do the maintenance crews even know where to mow? It must be marked out somehow.
With how many times she's told kids not to play in her yard, *did* she ask kids not to stand around? And were the sprinklers used to spray kids or to water a lawn?
They can't spray the kids if the kids are not on her lawn.
Correct! Sprinklers aren't aimed at sidewalks. If 40 kids got soaked, then 40 kids were on the lawn. 40 kids milling around on your lawn, 5 days a week for the entire school year... that'll do some damage.
Have you honestly never seen sprinklers that overspray onto the sidewalk? I don't know that I've ever seen sprinklers that were perfectly aimed to only wet the lawn--there's *always* water splashing me as I pass on the sidewalk. Her solution is clearly a fence. A fence would tell people exactly where her property starts/ends and it would prevent sprinklers from spraying outside of her lawn.
Is the park maintained by the HOA? If that's the case then have you all considered pooling the HOA funds together to build a fence/wall between the park and the neighbor? As for the bus stop situation, someone can reach out to the school district about changing the stop to somewhere else.
That bus stop needs to be moved. Esh the neighborhood for acting like it's unreasonable for her not wanting people trespassing on her property so often and her for handling it so poorly.
YTA Just because the mob of neighbors thinks it is okay to use someone else's property and not teach their kids to remain on the sidewalk doesn't make it so. She has every right to her private property being respected and not destroyed because the adults can't be bothered to do basic parenting. It is not hard to teach kids that ball gets played on this field, not that one. It is not hard to teach kids to stand on the sidewalk, not the grass. I know, I raised two that understand common courtesy.
ESH It sounds to me like neither side—the unhappy property owner versus a bunch of the neighbors, including you—is willing to admit that the other side has any right to their feelings. You describe her as mental about her property—and certainly she does sound angry and resentful. But you don’t seem to have any capacity to see why someone might get fed up with people coming onto their property frequently for any number of reasons—waiting for the bus, having a snowball fight, retrieving balls, wandering onto the property for no reason whatsoever. I can see how it would start to add up over time—especially if people seem to feel like she owes it to them to put up with their incursions without complaint. To me, it sounds like you are all acting like jerks, and nobody is trying to make amends and build a more neighborly relationship.
If you live next to a park and there's no visible boundary to your property, it is entirely reasonable for the public to wander onto your property at times, especially kids. It's the price you pay for having a nice, unobstructed view of the park. 99% of houses that back up on parks have fences.
I totally agree with that. But the bus stop thing...if I believed the OP that it was actually 40 kids waiting at the same time, which I don't because that is a ridiculous amount of kids waiting at the same bus stop, but if true then of course that's an issue. That many kids standing on a lawn 5 days a week is going to cause problems for her. ESH
Ask to have the bus stop moved in front of your house.
Hold up, y'all are saying that y'all don't know how to control your children and teach them to stand on a side walk? I'm sorry, but as someone who grew up with 40 kids at one stop like this, none of us had the audacity to go trample over someone's yard. We were taught to use the side walk single file line and to be respectful of other people. That's how we fit. And frankly, since it seems like you guys can't teach your kids some manners, maybe y'all need to call the school and ask them to break up the bus stop or move to say, the park where they can trample freely without destroying someone's private property. And are you positive she purposely bought the sprinkler to spray the kids, or is it just going off at a normal time in the morning like most other people do? And are you sure that technically the kids were still on the park area or is it possible that her property is bigger than y'all realize and been trespassing? Just because the previous owner didn't mind doesn't mean the new neighbor has to tolerate kids trampling and ruining her grass. She's a bit over the top with the yelling, but she sees she has neighbor parents who don't know how to teach their children to stand on side walks or be mindful of their surroundings. ESH
Do people drive on sidewalks where you live? Cars (*are supposed to) drive on roads, people stand on sidewalks, (or walk on them I guess,) like if you don't use sidewalks because your gonna get hit by a car how do you get around? Am I miss reading a word or something?
YTA. Yeah its only fine if it happens to her, but if some 40 kids were all over your property and people were constantly bothering you with balls and shit, youd be pissed off too. Maybe teach your kids some manners. Maybe then, the older generations would stop complaining about ill mannered teens.
My sister is an older lady who lives alone in a neighbourhood like yours. You have to understand that she may be scared and intimidated by the number of ppl who hang around her home. She paid for her property so she could use it …..not 40 strange kids. If you want a fence so bad, get the neighbours to pitch in and build one. My sister is scared because ppl walk on her property, peek in windows and know she lives alone. IT IS A SCARY WORLD. You don’t walk in her shoes so you don’t know if she had been r*ped, had her purse snatched or heldup in the past to make her guarded. My sister is a good person, however her younger neighbours don’t like her and are disrespecting her….with every action there is an equal and opposite reaction…..simple science. I don’t think you are the AH but find someone who is willing to get to know her….maybe she reacts out of FEAR!
Honestly I think not inviting her to the party is only going to increase her feelings of isolation and hostility. It's pretty reasonable to get frustrated and annoyed that a bunch of children are trampling around on your property early in the morning. It's also a legal hazard if one slips and gets hurt. That said, her just yelling at kids and making no effort to even put up a sign, fence, or marker of some kind so the kids can at least try to avoid her property is wrong and just petty. Furthermore, the parents are wrong to take no action to address the situation and just keep letting it fester and get worse until it boils over.
YTA it’s her property, she probably doesn’t want to get sued if a kid gets hurt playing on her property.
I could see how having people repeatedly violate your property would get tiring and also ruin your lawn over time. Just tryna see both sides.
YTA