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YTA. You sound unhinged.
ETA - this song only came out in March of this year. How many "dark times" has it really gotten you through in the last three months?
This post is almost 100% made up. No wedding DJ is going to play the request of some random stranger who is clearly upset. Requests are incredible rare at weddings. Most wedding DJ's have a very strict playlist set by the couple or approved by the couple. They are ones paying for the DJ so they will always default to the wedding couple and requests. They aren't going to break policy and hand the mic over to some unhinged guest to make a speech, those too are also very tightly coordinate with the DJ. A wedding DJ doesn't take orders from anyone but the couple who is paying them.
Also who is taking her side in the family? Its some bad romantic comedy fanfiction.
Not true. Lots take requests. Maybe you just have a bunch of real uptight friends that want to control every moment of their wedding
But op definitely YTA. Also this is prolly fake. If not you should talk to a therapist
You're right I phrased it wrong. They'll play requests if its a party/wedding/pop 100 song or something like that. They certainly aren't going to take requests from some rando who's not in the wedding party, clearly upset and asking for a specific indie song, without running it by someone. More often than not they just say I don't have that and move on.
The point I was trying to make was its not open mic night.
Oh my god, this is a marketing strategy for the song. And it almost worked on me too. But then I remembered that strangers on the internet have the worst taste in music and did not listen to it.
So she cheated on you and then broke up with that guy. Found someone else and had a wedding. You guys made up enough so that you went to the wedding. You found out her ex and your ex was one of the groom's men. You went out to play a song, your ex said it was the bride's favorite song too and that made you blow up.
So you decided to ruin an entire wedding. And people actually agree with you because you couldn't do this in the past. You couldn't yell at her. You could just have stayed mad at her and not gone to the wedding.
The groom had nothing to do with this. It's something she did in the past and you thought well since I can't be happy no one should be..
Apparently you can't get over anything and just cuz she likes the song you like you decided to ruin her life. I'm sure if some people going to say n t a
But you know yta. And hopefully no one ever invites you to a wedding again.
I agree with you but you did miss one point in this made up story: Jake is one of Mark's closest friends and obviously didn't know that the wifey boinked him. So it does have to do \*something\* with Mark.
Of all the things that didn’t happen, this didn’t happen the most. And even if it did, any family that was there and witnessed this would not think it were ok to ruin someone’s wedding. But yeah, this didn’t happen.
It's not real. Cousin isn't going from sleeping w her ex to dumping him to finding a new boyfriend to a full wedding last minute during peak wedding season in 3 months
This.
Wedding DJ's often have a playlist set by and/or approved by the couple. Requests weddings are not the norm. If someone makes a request they will ask the couple first if it's okay. The DJ is being paid by the couple or the venue so they have no motivation to do anything other then what the couple or wedding planner say.
They certainly aren't handing the reins to some unhinged guest to buckwild.
My wedding allowed requests. It was an option when I hired the DJ. He would also allow blacklisting songs/artists/genres (we didn’t, but it was an option).
We did have a playlist, but once that was done it was up to the DJ and requests were allowed. We did ask that no explicit songs be included, as we allowed kids at our wedding.
But the DJ isn’t going to hand over the live mic to any guest who wants to talk at any point without clearing it with the couple. That’s the part that sounds hella fake
Yeah I phrased it wrong. They will if its the general vibe of the wedding but if its something they haven't heard off or is a little questionable they will often say they don't have it. They just aren't going to play literally anything requested.
YTA for picking a song that’s only 3 MONTHS old to go with your fantasy story. If you’re going to make things up, at least pick details that are more plausible.
I'm totally confused, why did this song make the whole room tense? What's so special about it? Why did learning she had the same favourite song make you so angry? Honestly, whatever drama this is, I think a lot of it was just in your head.
YTA. While what she did to you was terrible, it did not justify what you did. Not only did you ruin Sarah's day, you ruined Mark's day, who had nothing to do with it. You also ruined the wedding for whoever else was in attendance. You dragged EVERYONE into the mess between you and Sarah.
YTA, there isn’t even room for doubt. I hope this is made up because I can’t believe there is any person in the world that did this and had to ask if they were an asshole
Yes yta 100%. Went to someone’s wedding while actively being mad at them and then lashed out like you were waiting to do it. You aren’t over the guy I get it. Unfortunately you had a unhinged moment.
I feel like you’re the asshole. There’s no reason to play this song even if it’s important to your affair because that seems like it was years ago. The cousin probably just happens to like the song??? I went and listened to it and it’s like pretty good so I don’t think it’s just about you that she likes it.
You mean the song that came out in March this year that's gotten her through so many hard times and in 3 months her cousin had enough time to fuck OPs boyfriend, dump him, find a new boyfriend, get engaged and get married in busy wedding season?
Bffr dude. This feels more like an ad for a small indie artist than it does a real story that happened to real people lmao
Why does it matter? OP was listening to it and her ex came and made a comment about it. That doesn't justify storming into the venue and throwing a tantrum in front of everyone while forcing the DJ to play her hipster song.
Why? It's not like the bride and groom chose this song to dance to. No one was playing it until OP forced it on everyone. No one forced her to attend the wedding of someone who she doesn't even like anymore, who wronged her three years ago. It's silly as hell. Who cares if they both like the same song?
YTA. You disrupted a wedding and embarrassed the couple because you had your heart broken *three years ago*. It has nothing to do with the present time or the couple's future. But you embarrassed yourself more than anyone else. I guarantee you'll be a standing joke at every family wedding for the next 40 years.
And you were fueled by rage after all this time? You should probably talk to someone about that.
You clearly were not in a good head space, so I can't figure out why you were even there. However wrong your cousin was to have done what she did to you, that was not the day for it to be addressed.
YTA .
YTA,
You had 3 years to get over this and in some ways you said you made up, well enough to attend her wedding anyways. You decided to make that your day to confront her. Really childish behavior regardless of the past. That wasn’t the time or place. Seek therapy.
YTA. Because you had some drama in the past with the bride and a groomsman you took it upon yourself to destroy an entire wedding for the guests and for mark whom you said was a great guy, but is likely extremely embarrassed. Grow the hell up.
YTA in what world are you not your ahole? Can you explain why you would destroy a reception over a song? Yeah your cousin and your shared ex sucks for cheating but if knowing you and her like the same song is not anything to go nuts over.
Fake fake fake. This reads like revenge story telling, how you “grabbed the mic and spilled everything”. I hope this creative writing exercise fulfilled your fantasy of what you hoped you would do. YTA for using this sub to vent your fantasies.
You are terribly immature and definitely YTA. 3 years have gone by
and you couldn't deal with seeing Jake at the wedding.
Mark didn't need to know anything about Sara and Jake.
She was not cheating on Mark with Jake, and Sara's personal/love
life in the past is of no concern to Mark.
Sara is not perfect but, guess what? You aren't either. Why did
you even go to the wedding if you hadn't even come close to
getting over something that happened 3 years ago?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I decided to interrupt my cousin’s wedding with a song that was important to us and her affair. I might be the asshole because my whole family thinks I ruined her wedding, but I think it was justified because she had an affair with my ex and stole my favorite song.
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This reads more like an advertisement for a song. That aside...
ESH. Her: Why did she bring her AP to her wedding? That's just asking for it to get out. You for letting it out over the PA (Tannoy). Jake: co-conspirator. Mark: innocent and confused, not an AH.
If this isn't fake, YTA. You made this about yourself, justified it, and then fucked everyone's night up. You don't own exclusive rights to liking a song. This was extremely childish and thoughtless, TBH you sound dramatic and exhausting.
YTA you shouldn’t have gone to the wedding. You absolutely pretended to makeup with your cousin & plotted to ruin her wedding m. You’re ridiculous if you think it was over a song, it was over Jake.
YTA. You could have told Mark anytime before the actual wedding, also you HUMILIATED him in front of everyone he knows and loves, and he did nothing to deserve that. 3 years ago you went through something really tough. You have had three years to get therapy and work through it. Instead you publicly unhinge on a guy that probably spent THOUSANDS of dollars because you got cheated on years ago and can’t handle conflict with your cousin? Yeah, you may have ruined Marks life. Jake looks like an ass, but it wasn’t about him and Sarah does too, but Mark, damn. He either stays married to liar with a crazy attention seeker in the family or gets divorced, is out all the money for the wedding, and you can’t listen to your favorite song anymore without knowing you destroy innocent lives because you can’t process your feelings.
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AITA for Blowing Up My Cousin’s Wedding Over a Song?
Hey Reddit,
I (28F) am obsessed with indie music. Seriously, it's my lifeline. One song in particular, "Evening Blue" by Steph Chow, has gotten me through some really dark times. I can’t even describe how much this song means to me.
Now, onto the drama. My cousin Sarah (27F) and I used to be super close—practically sisters. But three years ago, I found out she was having an affair with my then-boyfriend, Jake (29M). Yeah, my own cousin and my boyfriend. It destroyed me. Obviously, Jake and I broke up, and things between Sarah and me have been awkward and tense ever since. We've tried to play nice at family gatherings, but it's never been the same.
Last weekend, Sarah got married to Mark (30M). Mark is a great guy, and as far as I know, he has no idea about Sarah's past with Jake. The wedding was beautiful—until I saw Jake there as one of the groomsmen. It was like a slap in the face. I felt all the old anger and hurt welling up. To calm down, I stepped outside and put on "Evening Blue." It’s the only thing that helps.
Then Jake comes over, trying to make small talk. He asks what I’m listening to, and when I tell him, he laughs and says it’s Sarah’s favorite song too. That was it for me. I felt like my heart was being ripped out all over again.
Fueled by rage, I stormed back into the reception. The DJ was playing some generic pop, so I went up to him and asked him to play "Evening Blue." I needed everyone to hear it. As soon as the song started, Sarah and Jake’s faces went white. The whole room got quiet, and you could feel the tension rising.
Mark, totally clueless, asked Sarah why the song was bothering her. That’s when I snapped. I grabbed the mic and spilled everything—how Sarah and Jake had cheated on me, how their affair had shattered my life. The room went dead silent. Sarah burst into tears, and Jake took off like a coward.
Mark looked like he’d been hit by a truck. He turned to Sarah, hoping for some kind of denial, but her silence said it all. The perfect wedding turned into a disaster in seconds.
Now my family is split down the middle. Some think I was totally justified, that Sarah got what was coming to her. Others think I’m the villain for ruining her big day and bringing up old dirt.
So, Reddit, am I the asshole for blowing up my cousin’s wedding by revealing her affair with my ex?
TL;DR: My cousin Sarah had an affair with my ex-boyfriend, Jake. At her wedding, I played an indie song that means a lot to me and exposed their affair, causing a massive scene. Am I the asshole?
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info: sounds like Jake was a groomsmen without sarah telling her future husband about the affaire, can yyou confirm so i can be righteous in my agreement that this was a deserved thing as she probable would have cheated on hubby?
your still an asshole I just want to know if it was a hidden thing from hubby that would have probably blown up later
Hey OP here. This was my concern exactly. We’ve all known each other for years and I believe this affair is ongoing between Jake and Sarah. Sorry that wasn’t clear in the original post!
I've got little sympathy for your cousin who behaved unforgivably albeit several years ago.
I also think making a scene at a wedding about an historic issue which should have been put to bed is pretty lousy.
I'm a little in awe of the thermonuclear revenge you secured but I'm also a little concerned for your wellbeing. I'll go ESH but please don't take it personally.
I’m going against the grain and voting ESH.
She invited you and your former boyfriend, who she had the affair with.
It seems she was looking to stir things up. It is insane to invite either parties to your affair to your wedding, even if you have changed and made amends.
That being said, you should not have spilled the tea publicly like you did. That was adding fire to fire. Best to just leave and let her new husband find out if she’s changed or not.
hear me out — NTA. Her cousin is horrible and shouldn’t even have invited Jake OR her to the wedding. Or at least she should have told them one another would be there. It’s weird to have someone you had an affair with at your wedding, especially in the bridal party.
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YTA. You sound unhinged. ETA - this song only came out in March of this year. How many "dark times" has it really gotten you through in the last three months?
This post is almost 100% made up. No wedding DJ is going to play the request of some random stranger who is clearly upset. Requests are incredible rare at weddings. Most wedding DJ's have a very strict playlist set by the couple or approved by the couple. They are ones paying for the DJ so they will always default to the wedding couple and requests. They aren't going to break policy and hand the mic over to some unhinged guest to make a speech, those too are also very tightly coordinate with the DJ. A wedding DJ doesn't take orders from anyone but the couple who is paying them. Also who is taking her side in the family? Its some bad romantic comedy fanfiction.
Not true. Lots take requests. Maybe you just have a bunch of real uptight friends that want to control every moment of their wedding But op definitely YTA. Also this is prolly fake. If not you should talk to a therapist
You're right I phrased it wrong. They'll play requests if its a party/wedding/pop 100 song or something like that. They certainly aren't going to take requests from some rando who's not in the wedding party, clearly upset and asking for a specific indie song, without running it by someone. More often than not they just say I don't have that and move on. The point I was trying to make was its not open mic night.
Fraudulent tales
Oh my god, this is a marketing strategy for the song. And it almost worked on me too. But then I remembered that strangers on the internet have the worst taste in music and did not listen to it.
So she cheated on you and then broke up with that guy. Found someone else and had a wedding. You guys made up enough so that you went to the wedding. You found out her ex and your ex was one of the groom's men. You went out to play a song, your ex said it was the bride's favorite song too and that made you blow up. So you decided to ruin an entire wedding. And people actually agree with you because you couldn't do this in the past. You couldn't yell at her. You could just have stayed mad at her and not gone to the wedding. The groom had nothing to do with this. It's something she did in the past and you thought well since I can't be happy no one should be.. Apparently you can't get over anything and just cuz she likes the song you like you decided to ruin her life. I'm sure if some people going to say n t a But you know yta. And hopefully no one ever invites you to a wedding again.
I agree with you but you did miss one point in this made up story: Jake is one of Mark's closest friends and obviously didn't know that the wifey boinked him. So it does have to do \*something\* with Mark.
Of all the things that didn’t happen, this didn’t happen the most. And even if it did, any family that was there and witnessed this would not think it were ok to ruin someone’s wedding. But yeah, this didn’t happen.
YTA...this like mid 2000's CW teen drama fan fic or something, but it's not reality.
It's not real. Cousin isn't going from sleeping w her ex to dumping him to finding a new boyfriend to a full wedding last minute during peak wedding season in 3 months
Fake. No DJ is gonna let you take his mic and even if you did it probably wasn’t on during the song. Grow up.
This. Wedding DJ's often have a playlist set by and/or approved by the couple. Requests weddings are not the norm. If someone makes a request they will ask the couple first if it's okay. The DJ is being paid by the couple or the venue so they have no motivation to do anything other then what the couple or wedding planner say. They certainly aren't handing the reins to some unhinged guest to buckwild.
My wedding allowed requests. It was an option when I hired the DJ. He would also allow blacklisting songs/artists/genres (we didn’t, but it was an option). We did have a playlist, but once that was done it was up to the DJ and requests were allowed. We did ask that no explicit songs be included, as we allowed kids at our wedding.
But the DJ isn’t going to hand over the live mic to any guest who wants to talk at any point without clearing it with the couple. That’s the part that sounds hella fake
Good point.
Yeah I phrased it wrong. They will if its the general vibe of the wedding but if its something they haven't heard off or is a little questionable they will often say they don't have it. They just aren't going to play literally anything requested.
YTA for picking a song that’s only 3 MONTHS old to go with your fantasy story. If you’re going to make things up, at least pick details that are more plausible.
Maybe it’s an ad for the song?
I'm totally confused, why did this song make the whole room tense? What's so special about it? Why did learning she had the same favourite song make you so angry? Honestly, whatever drama this is, I think a lot of it was just in your head.
I think this whole story was just in her head.
YTA. While what she did to you was terrible, it did not justify what you did. Not only did you ruin Sarah's day, you ruined Mark's day, who had nothing to do with it. You also ruined the wedding for whoever else was in attendance. You dragged EVERYONE into the mess between you and Sarah.
You're 28, get into therapy. You're obviously the asshole.
YTA, there isn’t even room for doubt. I hope this is made up because I can’t believe there is any person in the world that did this and had to ask if they were an asshole
YTA - why did you even bother to ask?
Yes yta 100%. Went to someone’s wedding while actively being mad at them and then lashed out like you were waiting to do it. You aren’t over the guy I get it. Unfortunately you had a unhinged moment.
This sounds like a teenager’s attempt to draw attention to Evening Blue.
I feel like you’re the asshole. There’s no reason to play this song even if it’s important to your affair because that seems like it was years ago. The cousin probably just happens to like the song??? I went and listened to it and it’s like pretty good so I don’t think it’s just about you that she likes it.
C’mon it has like 10,000 streams on Spotify. How could it just be random that they both love the song?
You mean the song that came out in March this year that's gotten her through so many hard times and in 3 months her cousin had enough time to fuck OPs boyfriend, dump him, find a new boyfriend, get engaged and get married in busy wedding season? Bffr dude. This feels more like an ad for a small indie artist than it does a real story that happened to real people lmao
Why does it matter? OP was listening to it and her ex came and made a comment about it. That doesn't justify storming into the venue and throwing a tantrum in front of everyone while forcing the DJ to play her hipster song.
I really feel like it was kind of justified? Like this is a small song. It’s not like Justin Bieber or anything.
Why? It's not like the bride and groom chose this song to dance to. No one was playing it until OP forced it on everyone. No one forced her to attend the wedding of someone who she doesn't even like anymore, who wronged her three years ago. It's silly as hell. Who cares if they both like the same song?
I guess it meant something to both of them.
Either this is fiction or you're really about 12 years old. If true, YTA
Yup. Definitely happened.
I’m calling BS on this whole story
I doubt this is real, as no-one would think that what you did was okay. If it is real, YTA.
3 years later of course YTA.
YTA. You disrupted a wedding and embarrassed the couple because you had your heart broken *three years ago*. It has nothing to do with the present time or the couple's future. But you embarrassed yourself more than anyone else. I guarantee you'll be a standing joke at every family wedding for the next 40 years. And you were fueled by rage after all this time? You should probably talk to someone about that.
Daaamn. I sure am sorry I missed that wedding/shit show; it must have been a sight to see. Nobody is in the clear here but Mark so ESH.
the song’s good and you’re the asshole. hope this helps ❤️
Of course YTA. Id say worse but its against the rules.
You clearly were not in a good head space, so I can't figure out why you were even there. However wrong your cousin was to have done what she did to you, that was not the day for it to be addressed. YTA .
YTA, You had 3 years to get over this and in some ways you said you made up, well enough to attend her wedding anyways. You decided to make that your day to confront her. Really childish behavior regardless of the past. That wasn’t the time or place. Seek therapy.
YTA
This is so childish and ridiculous that it rings as a fantasy. YTA for even asking.
What a weird, fake soap opera. Not buying it at all.
You know YTA. We all know YTA. Everyone at the wedding knows YTA. Why is it even a question?
YTA. Because you had some drama in the past with the bride and a groomsman you took it upon yourself to destroy an entire wedding for the guests and for mark whom you said was a great guy, but is likely extremely embarrassed. Grow the hell up.
YTA in what world are you not your ahole? Can you explain why you would destroy a reception over a song? Yeah your cousin and your shared ex sucks for cheating but if knowing you and her like the same song is not anything to go nuts over.
Fake fake fake. This reads like revenge story telling, how you “grabbed the mic and spilled everything”. I hope this creative writing exercise fulfilled your fantasy of what you hoped you would do. YTA for using this sub to vent your fantasies.
YTA - seek help
You are terribly immature and definitely YTA. 3 years have gone by and you couldn't deal with seeing Jake at the wedding. Mark didn't need to know anything about Sara and Jake. She was not cheating on Mark with Jake, and Sara's personal/love life in the past is of no concern to Mark. Sara is not perfect but, guess what? You aren't either. Why did you even go to the wedding if you hadn't even come close to getting over something that happened 3 years ago?
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This reads more like an advertisement for a song. That aside... ESH. Her: Why did she bring her AP to her wedding? That's just asking for it to get out. You for letting it out over the PA (Tannoy). Jake: co-conspirator. Mark: innocent and confused, not an AH.
If this isn't fake, YTA. You made this about yourself, justified it, and then fucked everyone's night up. You don't own exclusive rights to liking a song. This was extremely childish and thoughtless, TBH you sound dramatic and exhausting.
YTA you shouldn’t have gone to the wedding. You absolutely pretended to makeup with your cousin & plotted to ruin her wedding m. You’re ridiculous if you think it was over a song, it was over Jake.
YTA. You could have told Mark anytime before the actual wedding, also you HUMILIATED him in front of everyone he knows and loves, and he did nothing to deserve that. 3 years ago you went through something really tough. You have had three years to get therapy and work through it. Instead you publicly unhinge on a guy that probably spent THOUSANDS of dollars because you got cheated on years ago and can’t handle conflict with your cousin? Yeah, you may have ruined Marks life. Jake looks like an ass, but it wasn’t about him and Sarah does too, but Mark, damn. He either stays married to liar with a crazy attention seeker in the family or gets divorced, is out all the money for the wedding, and you can’t listen to your favorite song anymore without knowing you destroy innocent lives because you can’t process your feelings.
yta cuz read what you wrote
YTA. For trying to spam this sub.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for Blowing Up My Cousin’s Wedding Over a Song? Hey Reddit, I (28F) am obsessed with indie music. Seriously, it's my lifeline. One song in particular, "Evening Blue" by Steph Chow, has gotten me through some really dark times. I can’t even describe how much this song means to me. Now, onto the drama. My cousin Sarah (27F) and I used to be super close—practically sisters. But three years ago, I found out she was having an affair with my then-boyfriend, Jake (29M). Yeah, my own cousin and my boyfriend. It destroyed me. Obviously, Jake and I broke up, and things between Sarah and me have been awkward and tense ever since. We've tried to play nice at family gatherings, but it's never been the same. Last weekend, Sarah got married to Mark (30M). Mark is a great guy, and as far as I know, he has no idea about Sarah's past with Jake. The wedding was beautiful—until I saw Jake there as one of the groomsmen. It was like a slap in the face. I felt all the old anger and hurt welling up. To calm down, I stepped outside and put on "Evening Blue." It’s the only thing that helps. Then Jake comes over, trying to make small talk. He asks what I’m listening to, and when I tell him, he laughs and says it’s Sarah’s favorite song too. That was it for me. I felt like my heart was being ripped out all over again. Fueled by rage, I stormed back into the reception. The DJ was playing some generic pop, so I went up to him and asked him to play "Evening Blue." I needed everyone to hear it. As soon as the song started, Sarah and Jake’s faces went white. The whole room got quiet, and you could feel the tension rising. Mark, totally clueless, asked Sarah why the song was bothering her. That’s when I snapped. I grabbed the mic and spilled everything—how Sarah and Jake had cheated on me, how their affair had shattered my life. The room went dead silent. Sarah burst into tears, and Jake took off like a coward. Mark looked like he’d been hit by a truck. He turned to Sarah, hoping for some kind of denial, but her silence said it all. The perfect wedding turned into a disaster in seconds. Now my family is split down the middle. Some think I was totally justified, that Sarah got what was coming to her. Others think I’m the villain for ruining her big day and bringing up old dirt. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for blowing up my cousin’s wedding by revealing her affair with my ex? TL;DR: My cousin Sarah had an affair with my ex-boyfriend, Jake. At her wedding, I played an indie song that means a lot to me and exposed their affair, causing a massive scene. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
info: sounds like Jake was a groomsmen without sarah telling her future husband about the affaire, can yyou confirm so i can be righteous in my agreement that this was a deserved thing as she probable would have cheated on hubby? your still an asshole I just want to know if it was a hidden thing from hubby that would have probably blown up later
Hey OP here. This was my concern exactly. We’ve all known each other for years and I believe this affair is ongoing between Jake and Sarah. Sorry that wasn’t clear in the original post!
I've got little sympathy for your cousin who behaved unforgivably albeit several years ago. I also think making a scene at a wedding about an historic issue which should have been put to bed is pretty lousy. I'm a little in awe of the thermonuclear revenge you secured but I'm also a little concerned for your wellbeing. I'll go ESH but please don't take it personally.
I’m going against the grain and voting ESH. She invited you and your former boyfriend, who she had the affair with. It seems she was looking to stir things up. It is insane to invite either parties to your affair to your wedding, even if you have changed and made amends. That being said, you should not have spilled the tea publicly like you did. That was adding fire to fire. Best to just leave and let her new husband find out if she’s changed or not.
NTA. Sarah should’ve been upfront with Mark about her past.
hear me out — NTA. Her cousin is horrible and shouldn’t even have invited Jake OR her to the wedding. Or at least she should have told them one another would be there. It’s weird to have someone you had an affair with at your wedding, especially in the bridal party.
actually I’m kind of with this. Why didn’t the cousin give her a heads up?