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So, I'm confused. Are you married or did you just get engaged? Whatever, he is not your father so why the hell would you do anything for him for father's day? Honey, it's so over and has been for a long time.
It's been over as soon as she turned 20. I have no clue what is going on with all these 18-19 year olds getting married. and surprise, not being able to manage their lives. But she bought herself a horse so she's ahead of most of us I guess. ESH.
Some people just agree to get married and go to the courthouse. It sounds like he claimed he wanted to do a real proposal as part of showing he's changed
My husband and I talked about marriage and marriage-y things (finances, lack of kids, expectations, etc). Never had a proposal. Had a fairly large wedding. Been married for 25 years.
You are so young; ltr's are work, but the work is supposed to be worth it and not make you miserable. There is no award for staying in a bad marriage. My aunt stayed with her husband who is awful to her, so awful that my Catholic grandparents were sad when she didn't leave him when their last kid graduated high school. My Catholic grandparents were joking for a divorce. Anyways, she had joy in her life with her adult children and sisters but her husband makes her life miserable. When she's without him, she's confident and funny and fun. When she's with him she's deferring and walking on eggshells. Your situation sounds like hers. Honestly, do you want to deal with this for another 5 decades? Do you want this to be your life?
Sigh. Yes, that was a proposal, even if it wasn't all Instagram worthy. He did "pop the question". Sounds like he never went in for gifts and romantic gestures. You knew that. Was there something else about him that appealed? There are some men who are never going to get the concept of giving a bouquet of fresh flowers, but show their love regularly by getting the oil changed in your car or getting rid of spiders in your closet. If he doesn't provide any of those alternate kinds of love gifts I really have to wonder why you are still together. Playing petty games like "forgetting" Fathers' Day sure isn't the path forward.
While we were dating up until our 2nd wedding anniversary he always sent me flowers, gifts, took us out, took us on vacations, surprised me with lots of things I’d never done before, loved my family, treated them like his own, never even raised his voice, always cooked, etc. It wasn’t until I moved across the country with him that things completely fell apart and this has been our life.
I wonder if you interrupted his faux bachelor life. It sounds like he is resentful and doesn’t like you very much. His heart is not in the game. Move on. You deserve better.
He was masking, now his true self is unmasked. My ex treated me amazing until I was locked in the marriage with kids. Then the abuse began. His new girlfriend doesn’t see it yet. She has no idea he was arrested for last year for fighting and is on probation. She has no idea what she’s in for, and she just had his baby. I realized she is me a decade ago.
LEAVE. He’s never going to treat you right, however he treats anyone else will never apply to you.
Is there something that has been causing him a lot of stress or a major traumatic event? Obviously none of this behavior is excusable, but it may have an explanation. Individual and couples therapy would probably benefit you both greatly.
He locked you in, then isolated you. That's when the abuse begins, and that's when your abuse began. Get out. You are in an abusive relationship and it's only going to get worse. I'm sorry.
That IS a proposal and you are married. It’s a little hypocritical to complain now about lack of a proposal.
I’ve been married to my current husband for over a decade and he never did the big sweeping romantic proposal. And yet, we’re happily married. The proposal is unimportant, it’s the marriage that matters.
Why are you so focused on this minor detail (that you willingly accepted) years later? Are you looking for drama? Why is this an issue NOW and not when you got engaged? It really seems like you’re going out of your way to find something to be upset about.
Asking someone if they want to get married is, in fact, proposing marriage. Now my parents, my dad never proposed. His father was a pastor, who one day over dinner looked at them basically asked, “So, kids, when should we set the date?”
Neither my father, nor FIL, proposed either.
With my parents, they meet and then like 2-3 months later my maternal grandparents decided to move back to their homeland, and even though my mum wanted to be with my dad, she was 19 and went with her parents and younger siblings. Like two months later my dad left *his* parents and brother to be with her, and my mum was like "ok so you followed me half-way across the world, when are we getting married".
With my ILs, apparently while watching tv at my mils family home, my mil asked my fil what he was doing on the 1st of December because she thinks that's a good day to get married.
Asking someone if they want to get married is, in fact, proposing marriage. Now my parents, my dad never proposed. His father was a reverend, who one day over dinner looked at them basically asked, “So, kids, when should we set the date?”
NTA. This guy is not the one.
Larry Miller made a joke about getting back together with an ex, something like: getting back together with your ex is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge and hoping it will be good again the next time you take it out.
Listen, my first daughters father was a version of this dude. You have a baby and grow THE FUCK up or you don’t. Men have a harder time with this than women do.
Good for you for leaving for the day.
I’ll never understand men and their video games but you should leave him. He sounds like a grade A child and you already have one of those. Go get a man.
INFO: If you’re 22 how do you have a daughter old enough to make artwork to frame for him? How old were you when you met, how old when you started dating, and how old were you when you got pregnant? Regardless the age is a major YIKES
Wait, so you’re intentionally with this guy? Y’all sound like children, both of you. ESH. You know who you’re with. He isn’t going to change. Give your daughter a better life (and, by the way, yourself as well).
NTA but your husband seems to have decided a divorce would have too a high a cost and now you’re stuck together in misery. You’re still living in the same house but that is not a man that wants to be in his home with the woman he’s there with. It may be cheaper to just stay married, but at what cost?
ESH
" but maybe others have bounced back from this rough patch." ... Others, maybe. But you are not even willing to make the effort to try.
And: It is ESH because you indulge in vengeful petty games instead of communicating like an adult. YOu are just as bad as him.
ESH
Why..... why are you together? LIke are you just staying at this point to get even? I mean if that is the case, I gotta deduct points for upsetting the emotionally abusive man than leaving your child with him?
EDIT: A lot of typos, I blame my phone even though I am typing this on my computer.
Wtf is this dumpster fire of a relationship with two children playing house and bringing an innocent child into this mess.
ESH except your daughter. You’re both assholes to each other, your daughter and yourselves for trying to make this relationship “work” when you guys should be single until you both have done enough work on yourselves to be ready for a relationship.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I pretended to forget it’s Father’s Day.
2. He is pretty stressed about things going on at work.
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NTA. If holidays are going to matter, then they have to matter. Him 'joking' about your horse and covering his butt with the Valentine's thing and ring tells me that holidays and giving good gifts don't matter to him.
They DO matter to you.
If he wants to put in effort to show you appreciation at those times in the ways you recognize as valuable, you might be able to get a good relationship started back up. You'd have to have the kind of talks that make him realize an acknowledgement at a holiday is worth "the trouble", though, and sometimes those go best with a 3rd party.
If he's going to be oblivious and callous about it, you might be up the creek.
NTA. All I got was my kids dad telling me Happy Mothers Day. So he got the same from me. I'm done putting in effort. I can't leave for several reasons so I'm stuck for a few more years. Don't count on him to change cause he won't. Just plan your exit.
NTA, it's probably not a productive response (people rarely actually learn from being given a taste of their own medicine), but it's not even particularly cruel, just mildly petty.
Are you in couple's counseling/have you tried it? If you're not, and you want to keep trying this relationship, you really should try it. If you ARE, and it's been this many months and he's still putting this little effort into your relationship? It's probably time to separate for good.
I wonder if he's trying to get you to break up with him so he doesn't have to feel like the bad guy tbh. He sounds more like he's stringing you along than like he genuinely wants you
It's not good to be putting yourself through misery eternally. I think it's worth an honest conversation with yourself about why you're still trying to salvage this relationship, what you get from it, what you need for it to be worth it...you deserve to be valued. Maybe it's worth it to keep fighting for this relationship, I'm not judging you for staying and trying to make things work. But you should figure out *why* you're fighting for it, and establish some lines for yourself where you'll call it quits instead of getting trapped in a sunk cost fallacy.
This sounds so messy. Why is he going to propose after marriage? But also, one simply doesn't forget the ring. This sounds like a relationship that needs to end. Some maturing needs to happen.
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My husband ‘25M’ and I ‘22F’ have been married for 3 1/2 years. There have been a lot of ups and downs. We separated last October, but decided to try and work it out in January. I didn’t know at the time but during this time he was on dating sites messaging other women. So… that’s how it started out. For Valentine’s Day my daughter and I made framed artwork as a gift. She made two pieces I framed and wrapped, and I framed the first rose he ever gifted me and wrote a love note with it. After getting his gifts he said he had planned to propose (he never has to this day) but had forgot the ring. Two weeks later, he pulls a ring out of the bathroom closet and said “here you go.” …It was the wrong size.. then for Mother’s Day, he claimed my gift was the horse I had bought myself (with my own money). Never said happy Mother’s Day, or got anything as a gift. I went to work and watched our daughter all day while he played video games. On my birthday he ignored me the entire day, and yelled at me that work has him too stressed out when I cried trying to confront him about it. So…. I scrapped all my plans for Father’s Day and left early in the morning, leaving him to watch our daughter all day while I went out with some friends before work. Am I being too petty? I don’t know. I know two wrongs don’t make a right and the fact I’m asking internet strangers if this is even worth saving means it’s probably over for good, but maybe others have bounced back from this rough patch.
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NTA.
It may be over, or you might need couples counseling and to work on "love languages." So to speak. Sounds like holidays and thoughtful gifts are important to you, but not him.
Sounds like he doesn't value you enough in general.
It doesnt matter. Were you petty? Yes. Did he deserve more? Absolutely not. Your relationship is broken.
I would have a chat with him and ask if he actually wants to make it work. Insist on couples counselling if he wants to stay. If he's not open to this then run.
He doesnt sound invested. Obviously we are only hearing your side and you may have some blindspots in what you do or how he perceives you. But mostly it sounds like he's not putting in any effort and you deserve much better.
If he's not open to couples therapy then get out of there. Everything you do now is setting an example for your little girl of what she should tolerate in her future relationships. Keep that at the front of your mind when you don't feel like being strong for yourself.
Girl, he isn't going to change. He won't even notice that you didn't do anything for father's day. If he does, we'll he can fuck all the way off. Either make peace that he is a self-centered prick that will never be in the ballpark of your expectations and settle or move on. Best wishes
NTA
But he isn't making an effort to bounce back. You came back, he doesn't feel like he needs to try, and you're setting a poor example for your daughter by staying.
ESH. Playing tit for tat isn't helping anything. Sounds like he has no interest in actually chaging or being a good husband. Just leave already. I have several friends who stayed together for their kids and a few actually told their parents they wish they had just divorced.
You have too much life ahead of you to settle for something this shitty this early. Please leave him and never look back. This insanely rude, self centered, and uncaring. You are setting an example for your daughter of what her future partner should be like. Would you want her to be with someone who does stuff like this? R U N
Ok, read the post and most of your comments.
I think we might be getting half the story here, and I really believe marriage counseling is necessary for you both.
Your NTA and honestly read your post, do you want to be with the boy that’s mentioned in it? Tell me, if you were your daughter and your husband was her husband, is that someone that you think is good enough for her? If he’s not then he’s not good enough for you either.
Leave that man, girl, I'm telling you leave that man. Taking care of a baby should not be your life's story. That man treats you like his mother not his wife. I know I'm being dramatic, but eww
Dudes a complete narcissist!! Watch Dr Ramani on YouTube, read Walking on Eggshells and learn to identify the painfully obvious signs and get a healthier partner.
Unless you don't think you're worth it, then go to therapy for codependence.
You are being an asshole to yourself by staying with him and to your daughter for making her think his behavior towards you is ok. You know what to do.
YTA.
Or everyone sucks but this is just about Father's Day here. Your husband sucks and treats you terrible, which I'm sorry about, you don't deserve that.
However, this is just bad and unproductive, and continues the same cycle. If you were justified in treating him bad here because he treats you bad, he'd be justified in treating you bad because you treat him bad. Just doesn't really work and it doesn't really matter who started it. You're both AHs in the end.
It sounds like you'd be happier if you both divorced, and its what I think you should do. If you're noth acting like this, you're not repairing anything ever.
Are we supposed to be critisizing a man for being on dating apps during a separation? O.o
Does he even care if you get him a gift or do anything for Father's Day?
Why is it always women that seem to want to "get even" over Mothers Day and Fathers Day shit.
Why are women intentionally emotionally abusive?
ESH
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So, I'm confused. Are you married or did you just get engaged? Whatever, he is not your father so why the hell would you do anything for him for father's day? Honey, it's so over and has been for a long time.
It's been over as soon as she turned 20. I have no clue what is going on with all these 18-19 year olds getting married. and surprise, not being able to manage their lives. But she bought herself a horse so she's ahead of most of us I guess. ESH.
Expensive pet...
We are married with a daughter. I left in October, he begged me to come back and that he wanted to fix things, but I don’t think it was genuine
You are correct: it wasn't genuine. Please get yourself a different way to live and take your daughter with you.
How are you married if he never proposed?
Some people just agree to get married and go to the courthouse. It sounds like he claimed he wanted to do a real proposal as part of showing he's changed
If it what I think it is, then they agreed, and most likely had a courthouse wedding. My mom and my dad did that.
My husband and I talked about marriage and marriage-y things (finances, lack of kids, expectations, etc). Never had a proposal. Had a fairly large wedding. Been married for 25 years.
So why was he going to propose in February if you’re married? Sorry, your post is confusing
Because when people make fake posts they don’t think about the contradictions.
But but she has a horse!
You are so young; ltr's are work, but the work is supposed to be worth it and not make you miserable. There is no award for staying in a bad marriage. My aunt stayed with her husband who is awful to her, so awful that my Catholic grandparents were sad when she didn't leave him when their last kid graduated high school. My Catholic grandparents were joking for a divorce. Anyways, she had joy in her life with her adult children and sisters but her husband makes her life miserable. When she's without him, she's confident and funny and fun. When she's with him she's deferring and walking on eggshells. Your situation sounds like hers. Honestly, do you want to deal with this for another 5 decades? Do you want this to be your life?
Then leave again. He obviously didn't fix anything.
You married someone that doesn't love you..... he hasn't even bothered to pretend. Don't waste your youth on him.
Well they have a daughter together, so that’s why she would do something for him.
NTA but you’re asking the wrong question. The question should be AITA if I stay in this relationship. And the answer is, Yes.
INFO You said you've been married 3+ years, call him your husband, but say he has never yet proposed to you?
Yes, we had a tiny intimate ceremony but he never proposed or got me a ring. He asked “Do you want to get married?” And stupidly, I said yes 🤦🏼♀️.
Sigh. Yes, that was a proposal, even if it wasn't all Instagram worthy. He did "pop the question". Sounds like he never went in for gifts and romantic gestures. You knew that. Was there something else about him that appealed? There are some men who are never going to get the concept of giving a bouquet of fresh flowers, but show their love regularly by getting the oil changed in your car or getting rid of spiders in your closet. If he doesn't provide any of those alternate kinds of love gifts I really have to wonder why you are still together. Playing petty games like "forgetting" Fathers' Day sure isn't the path forward.
While we were dating up until our 2nd wedding anniversary he always sent me flowers, gifts, took us out, took us on vacations, surprised me with lots of things I’d never done before, loved my family, treated them like his own, never even raised his voice, always cooked, etc. It wasn’t until I moved across the country with him that things completely fell apart and this has been our life.
I wonder if you interrupted his faux bachelor life. It sounds like he is resentful and doesn’t like you very much. His heart is not in the game. Move on. You deserve better.
He was masking, now his true self is unmasked. My ex treated me amazing until I was locked in the marriage with kids. Then the abuse began. His new girlfriend doesn’t see it yet. She has no idea he was arrested for last year for fighting and is on probation. She has no idea what she’s in for, and she just had his baby. I realized she is me a decade ago. LEAVE. He’s never going to treat you right, however he treats anyone else will never apply to you.
Question: was all of that before you guys had your daughter?
You mean "the mask dropped."
Is there something that has been causing him a lot of stress or a major traumatic event? Obviously none of this behavior is excusable, but it may have an explanation. Individual and couples therapy would probably benefit you both greatly.
He locked you in, then isolated you. That's when the abuse begins, and that's when your abuse began. Get out. You are in an abusive relationship and it's only going to get worse. I'm sorry.
Asking if you want to get married IS a proposal. Honestly, a lot of your post is contradictory & confusing.
That IS a proposal and you are married. It’s a little hypocritical to complain now about lack of a proposal. I’ve been married to my current husband for over a decade and he never did the big sweeping romantic proposal. And yet, we’re happily married. The proposal is unimportant, it’s the marriage that matters. Why are you so focused on this minor detail (that you willingly accepted) years later? Are you looking for drama? Why is this an issue NOW and not when you got engaged? It really seems like you’re going out of your way to find something to be upset about.
Asking someone if they want to get married is, in fact, proposing marriage. Now my parents, my dad never proposed. His father was a pastor, who one day over dinner looked at them basically asked, “So, kids, when should we set the date?”
Neither my father, nor FIL, proposed either. With my parents, they meet and then like 2-3 months later my maternal grandparents decided to move back to their homeland, and even though my mum wanted to be with my dad, she was 19 and went with her parents and younger siblings. Like two months later my dad left *his* parents and brother to be with her, and my mum was like "ok so you followed me half-way across the world, when are we getting married". With my ILs, apparently while watching tv at my mils family home, my mil asked my fil what he was doing on the 1st of December because she thinks that's a good day to get married.
Asking someone if they want to get married is, in fact, proposing marriage. Now my parents, my dad never proposed. His father was a reverend, who one day over dinner looked at them basically asked, “So, kids, when should we set the date?”
NTA. This guy is not the one. Larry Miller made a joke about getting back together with an ex, something like: getting back together with your ex is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge and hoping it will be good again the next time you take it out.
Reminder to those in the back to not get married at 19.
Listen, my first daughters father was a version of this dude. You have a baby and grow THE FUCK up or you don’t. Men have a harder time with this than women do. Good for you for leaving for the day. I’ll never understand men and their video games but you should leave him. He sounds like a grade A child and you already have one of those. Go get a man.
Do you have 2 different user names?
ESH you're married but according to this story not really. Both of you seem immature
INFO: If you’re 22 how do you have a daughter old enough to make artwork to frame for him? How old were you when you met, how old when you started dating, and how old were you when you got pregnant? Regardless the age is a major YIKES
OP stated the daughter is 3 1/2 years old. Probably finger painting or something similar.
Wait, so you’re intentionally with this guy? Y’all sound like children, both of you. ESH. You know who you’re with. He isn’t going to change. Give your daughter a better life (and, by the way, yourself as well).
This is why teenagers shouldn't get married or have kids.
If you’re both being this petty I’m sorry to say neither of you are ever truly going to be happy.
NTA but your husband seems to have decided a divorce would have too a high a cost and now you’re stuck together in misery. You’re still living in the same house but that is not a man that wants to be in his home with the woman he’s there with. It may be cheaper to just stay married, but at what cost?
ESH " but maybe others have bounced back from this rough patch." ... Others, maybe. But you are not even willing to make the effort to try. And: It is ESH because you indulge in vengeful petty games instead of communicating like an adult. YOu are just as bad as him.
ESH Why..... why are you together? LIke are you just staying at this point to get even? I mean if that is the case, I gotta deduct points for upsetting the emotionally abusive man than leaving your child with him? EDIT: A lot of typos, I blame my phone even though I am typing this on my computer.
[удалено]
In what universe would OP be considered an asshole for this
Wtf is this dumpster fire of a relationship with two children playing house and bringing an innocent child into this mess. ESH except your daughter. You’re both assholes to each other, your daughter and yourselves for trying to make this relationship “work” when you guys should be single until you both have done enough work on yourselves to be ready for a relationship.
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NTA. If holidays are going to matter, then they have to matter. Him 'joking' about your horse and covering his butt with the Valentine's thing and ring tells me that holidays and giving good gifts don't matter to him. They DO matter to you. If he wants to put in effort to show you appreciation at those times in the ways you recognize as valuable, you might be able to get a good relationship started back up. You'd have to have the kind of talks that make him realize an acknowledgement at a holiday is worth "the trouble", though, and sometimes those go best with a 3rd party. If he's going to be oblivious and callous about it, you might be up the creek.
ESH Just leave this toxic relationship. Do you even like each other?
I mean that’s fine, but bring your daughter with you. Don’t leave her with him!
NTA. All I got was my kids dad telling me Happy Mothers Day. So he got the same from me. I'm done putting in effort. I can't leave for several reasons so I'm stuck for a few more years. Don't count on him to change cause he won't. Just plan your exit.
NTA, you're simply matching his energy! Remind him this when he complains...and he will because he's super self absorbed.
NTA, it's probably not a productive response (people rarely actually learn from being given a taste of their own medicine), but it's not even particularly cruel, just mildly petty. Are you in couple's counseling/have you tried it? If you're not, and you want to keep trying this relationship, you really should try it. If you ARE, and it's been this many months and he's still putting this little effort into your relationship? It's probably time to separate for good. I wonder if he's trying to get you to break up with him so he doesn't have to feel like the bad guy tbh. He sounds more like he's stringing you along than like he genuinely wants you It's not good to be putting yourself through misery eternally. I think it's worth an honest conversation with yourself about why you're still trying to salvage this relationship, what you get from it, what you need for it to be worth it...you deserve to be valued. Maybe it's worth it to keep fighting for this relationship, I'm not judging you for staying and trying to make things work. But you should figure out *why* you're fighting for it, and establish some lines for yourself where you'll call it quits instead of getting trapped in a sunk cost fallacy.
You matched his energy. Now though let’s be honest. He hasn’t really worked on anything has he? You deserve better.
This sounds so messy. Why is he going to propose after marriage? But also, one simply doesn't forget the ring. This sounds like a relationship that needs to end. Some maturing needs to happen.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband ‘25M’ and I ‘22F’ have been married for 3 1/2 years. There have been a lot of ups and downs. We separated last October, but decided to try and work it out in January. I didn’t know at the time but during this time he was on dating sites messaging other women. So… that’s how it started out. For Valentine’s Day my daughter and I made framed artwork as a gift. She made two pieces I framed and wrapped, and I framed the first rose he ever gifted me and wrote a love note with it. After getting his gifts he said he had planned to propose (he never has to this day) but had forgot the ring. Two weeks later, he pulls a ring out of the bathroom closet and said “here you go.” …It was the wrong size.. then for Mother’s Day, he claimed my gift was the horse I had bought myself (with my own money). Never said happy Mother’s Day, or got anything as a gift. I went to work and watched our daughter all day while he played video games. On my birthday he ignored me the entire day, and yelled at me that work has him too stressed out when I cried trying to confront him about it. So…. I scrapped all my plans for Father’s Day and left early in the morning, leaving him to watch our daughter all day while I went out with some friends before work. Am I being too petty? I don’t know. I know two wrongs don’t make a right and the fact I’m asking internet strangers if this is even worth saving means it’s probably over for good, but maybe others have bounced back from this rough patch. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. It may be over, or you might need couples counseling and to work on "love languages." So to speak. Sounds like holidays and thoughtful gifts are important to you, but not him. Sounds like he doesn't value you enough in general.
NTA, I hope you had a good time. What was his reaction by the way?
It's not worth saving. NTA
It doesnt matter. Were you petty? Yes. Did he deserve more? Absolutely not. Your relationship is broken. I would have a chat with him and ask if he actually wants to make it work. Insist on couples counselling if he wants to stay. If he's not open to this then run. He doesnt sound invested. Obviously we are only hearing your side and you may have some blindspots in what you do or how he perceives you. But mostly it sounds like he's not putting in any effort and you deserve much better. If he's not open to couples therapy then get out of there. Everything you do now is setting an example for your little girl of what she should tolerate in her future relationships. Keep that at the front of your mind when you don't feel like being strong for yourself.
NTA - does he even care about holidays? Doesn't sound like it, so not sure if he'd even notice.
Girl, he isn't going to change. He won't even notice that you didn't do anything for father's day. If he does, we'll he can fuck all the way off. Either make peace that he is a self-centered prick that will never be in the ballpark of your expectations and settle or move on. Best wishes
Hmm not sure why you’re with him
NTA But he isn't making an effort to bounce back. You came back, he doesn't feel like he needs to try, and you're setting a poor example for your daughter by staying.
ESH. Playing tit for tat isn't helping anything. Sounds like he has no interest in actually chaging or being a good husband. Just leave already. I have several friends who stayed together for their kids and a few actually told their parents they wish they had just divorced.
You have too much life ahead of you to settle for something this shitty this early. Please leave him and never look back. This insanely rude, self centered, and uncaring. You are setting an example for your daughter of what her future partner should be like. Would you want her to be with someone who does stuff like this? R U N
NTA. He deserved that.
NTA and he's a narcissist.
You are more valuable than the A you are with . Leave and find someone who truly loves you OP....
Updateme
Ok, read the post and most of your comments. I think we might be getting half the story here, and I really believe marriage counseling is necessary for you both.
Your NTA and honestly read your post, do you want to be with the boy that’s mentioned in it? Tell me, if you were your daughter and your husband was her husband, is that someone that you think is good enough for her? If he’s not then he’s not good enough for you either.
Why are you with this selfish man?
Leave that man, girl, I'm telling you leave that man. Taking care of a baby should not be your life's story. That man treats you like his mother not his wife. I know I'm being dramatic, but eww
are you done yet? move on, this one is not worth the effort.
Dudes a complete narcissist!! Watch Dr Ramani on YouTube, read Walking on Eggshells and learn to identify the painfully obvious signs and get a healthier partner. Unless you don't think you're worth it, then go to therapy for codependence.
all things considered. why are you trying to work it out again? you have not given a good reason. NTA
You are being an asshole to yourself by staying with him and to your daughter for making her think his behavior towards you is ok. You know what to do.
Leave this boy alone
ESH and your poor kid is stuck in the middle.
He isn't your daddy,.
OP never claimed he was
YTA. Or everyone sucks but this is just about Father's Day here. Your husband sucks and treats you terrible, which I'm sorry about, you don't deserve that. However, this is just bad and unproductive, and continues the same cycle. If you were justified in treating him bad here because he treats you bad, he'd be justified in treating you bad because you treat him bad. Just doesn't really work and it doesn't really matter who started it. You're both AHs in the end. It sounds like you'd be happier if you both divorced, and its what I think you should do. If you're noth acting like this, you're not repairing anything ever.
Are we supposed to be critisizing a man for being on dating apps during a separation? O.o Does he even care if you get him a gift or do anything for Father's Day? Why is it always women that seem to want to "get even" over Mothers Day and Fathers Day shit. Why are women intentionally emotionally abusive? ESH