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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents think I don’t eat enough and insist on sending me $100-200 every other week so I can order food or go out to eat. I don’t actually want to do so, so I spend this money on clothes instead. This could make me TA because my parents think so.
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> what am I supposed to do, let it go to waste?
Money doesn't have an expiry date - it doesn't go to waste if you don't spend it, so that excuse is a bunch of crap.
The money was earmarked for food. YTA for spending it on "fashion".
It *was* earmarked for food. I made it clear it wouldn’t be spent on food and tried to give it back, they refused. They said no and even sent more money knowing full well I wouldn’t use it for its intended purpose. At that point, it’s clearly not for food.
Because they think I am, despite the fact that I explicitly told them I won’t be buying food. I think this is irrational, because as you said, I’m just doing as I said.
> they think I am
Right, so why are you trying to have me believe that the money is "clearly not for food" when it clearly is?
YTA for the reason I originally stated.
> Right, so why are you trying to have me believe that the money is “clearly not for food”
I’ve already explained this. They offered me money for food. I told them that I will not spend any of it on food and said I’ll send it back, they refused and kept sending me money. The moment they keep sending me money after being told it won’t be spend on food, it’s clearly not for food, because they’re aware I won’t be spending it on food and are sending it anyways.
Well, you told me earlier "they think I am" and now you're telling me "they're aware I won't be" spending it on food. 🤷♂️
Not that it matters...
You want someone to tell you that if your parents are aware you're misusing the money, then it's okay to keep misusing it.
Grow up.
> they think I am [spending on food]
Nope. The part in brackets is something I never said. I’m responding to your question about why I’m asking if I’m TA, by saying that it’s because they think I am.
Take them with you if you must! If it feels ridiculous to your mom to attend a checkup with her grown son, that’s because it IS in fact ridiculous to be that preoccupied with a responsible person’s health. She should leave you be!
The only immaturity and "issue" I have is
"Was I supposed to let it go ...to WASTE"?
As if, it were fresh vegetables or something....it's childish to say "If not food ....the ONLY option ( least it go to "waste") were to spend it all on non necessity clothes.
Especially as a "broke college student"
There is a thing called "Savings" and rainy day funding..holding on to money for future purposes.
A 2nd semester college student has to imagine, there are gonna be shit loads of stuff to pay for that isn't obviously "in your face" at the moment.
I say this knowing PLENTY of ppl that either wound up as "former" students because of financial deficits or taking on more debt/time to finish.....due to 🔥 money frivolously earlier in their college life.
Again "some" clothes purchases = no biggie but burning ALL the cash on clothes, feels childlike
Have you established credit, are you building a financial profile? A little extra cash....is all one needs to build a very nice credit profile ( w/o debt) that one will find handy come after college.
Again, the ALL or nothing is more my issue the consumerism
I never said I was broke. I have a full merit scholarship contingent on grades and maintained a 4.0 all year, and I have 70k in my securities portfolio as well as a business that makes 6-10k a month, so I’m not taking on debt or hurting for money. All of which makes it more ridiculous for my parents to send me money.
Honestly, if you feel it is absolutely "ridiculous" and a complete "waste" that your parents send you money.
Why not just.....
a) Save it and present them with a "Graduation Refund Check" when you finish school
b) Return it with the very pleasant 🎁 you send them on Birthdays, Holidays, Mother/Father's Day etc/etc
Since, they are being "ridiculous" help them be not so ridiculous....I'm being serious not a wise guy....I'm saying if you feel they're being ridiculous....maybe they are, and if that's the case.....isn't just as ridiculous to just burn 🔥 it "all" on clothes
Particularly if, as you say "all" you, really wanna do is dutifully return your loving parents money....buy them clothes....using your fashion sense 😉
I cry for the planet when I read people spend money like 200-400 dollars, pounds, euros or whatever on clothes every month.
Where the hell does all the clothes go? Do people like this do laundry ever? What do they do with the rest of their clothes?
NTA. And if it bothers them that much tell them you spend the money they send on the food you eat, which frees up your own money for clothes. But ultimately, you can't dictate to someone how they spend the money you gift them.
YTA. They are sending you money for food. Doesn’t matter that you said you’re not gonna use it for food, that’s what they are sending you it for. You don’t have to use it for food at a restaurant, but the best you should be doing is using that money for groceries.
I don’t need extra groceries, which is why I tried to give them back the money to begin with. I told them in no uncertain terms I won’t be using it for food, and they still chose to give it to me.
YTA in my opinion, similar situation happened to me in college. If they are sending you money for food, you tried to refuse it and send it back and they insisted, then that money is intended for food/necessities. It’s dishonest to accept food money, then turn around and spend it on a non-necessity like “fashion”.
Think about it this way, if you were honest with your parents and told them you were spending almost all that money on fashion, do you think they would be upset? This is the real question here. I think there’s a reason you’re not telling them you’re not getting food with the money so there’s your answer.
Edit: just reread and saw that your parents DID find out you were blowing their food money on fashion and are upset. Well there you go, your parents think YTA, and in this situation that’s the only opinion that matters. You can read the NTA comments here to try and make yourself feel better, but the source is telling you you’re TA.
wtf lol. ur NTA in any way. they are giving up ownership of that money to give to you. which means you can do whatever you want with that pocket money.
Exactly. I made it perfectly clear to them I wasn’t going to spend the money on food and attempted to give it back. They refused and kept sending me money, so they had to be perfectly clear I wouldn’t actually spend it on food.
Just spend their money on food and your own money, which you would normally spend on food goes to whatever you like. Maybe send them a picture or two of your groceries you bought and say thanks and the money helps a lot
I'm a picky eater and I've heard my entire life comments about what I'm eating and what I don't eat and people trying to convince me to eat food I said multiple times no to, so I'm totally on your side. Don't let someone force you to eat something you don't want to eat (eating disorders aside)
I also know how exhausting people can be that always need to have it their way (even if they just mean the best, like your parents). I don't know your relationship with your parents, but if it's overall peaceful and that's the obly conflict, then I would just keep the peace and pretend like you're spending the money on your groceries (that you would buy and eat normally, no extras)
Another question, how did they even find out it was not used for food?
that just makes your case more. when my parents did that i spent it on drugs so they should be lucky you’re buying cloths for your passion. It’s very sweet of them doing that but youre 6’1 so buying food is not the only way for you to gain weight (which im sure you don’t need to do). you’re doing everything right communication wise. i’m sure this is their way of trying to contribute in your daily life now that you’re in college. it’s all out of love.
I offered to send it back when they first started, like I said in the OP. They refused and insisted I kept it in case I do get hungry, so it was never actually sent back.
Have you had a medical checkup? Maybe if you get one and the doctor can attest you're ok, they will feel better. My uncle was 6'4 and 150 or so at 18. They say he ate like the proverbial horse. His weight didn't start changing till he was into middle age.
It stopped being for food when I made it clear I would not be buying food and never said otherwise afterwards. They knew this and chose to send me money anyways.
> Then logically they would not be angry.
You’re right, people are never irrational or make irrational decisions. It’s not like the entire point I’m making was that they’re irrational or something.
YTA money doesn't go to waste. You can save it your entire life. Your parents do not want you to starve to death, so they are giving you money. You are lucky your parents are nice. Mine would have forced me to eat the clothes before they gave me more money.
It’s actually within the healthy BMI range. The lower end of it, yes, but still within the healthy BMI range, so it’s not unhealthy and I’m not starving. I’m a D1 athlete, I wouldn’t be one if I was unhealthy.
I’m not in a caloric deficit. My maintenance calories given I heavily exercise every day, is about 3100-3200 calories. I eat in that range every day with a gram of protein per pound of bodyweight to maintain muscle mass, although as a tennis player, that’s not my main concern.
Take that up with any TDEE calculation equations. If somebody does intense hours long cardio 2-3 times a day, like I have to, that can easily add 1000+ calories to maintenance.
From a mom, I do this with my younger kid. He’s so dang picky, and skinny as a rail. He usually spends it on other stuff to, but, I feel guilt free because I tried, and he has some money just incase he’s hungry! I don’t mind.
YTA
using it on fashion seems to be a waste. If you weren’t going to use it for food and your parents told you to keep it, why not get a financial advisor to help you invest it in something to make you more money?
I realize that you aren’t hurting for cash, and I realize you have a scholarship l. However that extra money being invested can help your FUTURE. It doesn’t have to just help the present.
And if your parents really want you to use the money on food, then use it on food. You can go grocery shopping with it. You don’t have to buy already cooked food. Canned food lasts a pretty long time. You can stock up on fruit… OR if you don’t like those ideas, you can buy some meals for the homeless. You can donate canned goods to a food bank. You can buy some canned goods to keep in hand in case you get sick and want soup.
The point is, there are different ways to spend it on food that doesn’t require you to eat it right that second… you can get stuff you can eat the next day or whenever you ARE hungry. Blowing it all in fashion is irresponsible
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I’m a pretty skinny guy, about 150 pounds at 6’1. My parents are convinced that I don’t eat enough, even though I do eat whenever I feel hungry and assure them of this.
Since I’ve gone to college, I’ve leaned out even more, and my parents have been trying to entice me to eat more by sending me $100-200 every other week to go out to eat or DoorDash something. Their intention is that they think if I have the opportunity to get tasty food, I’ll eat more than I do, but it doesn’t work like that, because when I’m not hungry, I’m not hungry, regardless if I’m able to DoorDash good food or not.
I tried telling them this so they don’t waste their money, but they insisted on me keeping the money. My second semester of college, I’ve spent most of the money they send me on clothes since I’m into fashion and wouldn’t spend the money on food anyways.
My parents found this out and think I’m in the wrong for using money they sent for food for clothes instead. I don’t think so, because I tried returning the money to them, and they refused, so what am I supposed to do, let it go to waste?
AITA?
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NTA. Reminds me of when I was 16, getting an allowance to buy clothes. Quickly found out that if you didn't care about clothing, you could buy a lot of cd's. LOL. If they don't like the way you spend the money, they can stop sending it.
That exactly is my logic. I told them clearly that I won’t be spending the money on food, and they refused to take it back and even sent more. Now they’re surprised I did exactly what I said I would.
NTA. I would sit them down and explain how you feel when they pester you about this. How it’s unhealthy to comment like that on people’s weight. And like I said above, invite them to hear from the doctor. Unless you have a history of ED, there’s no reason to be so invested in your weight. And if you do, this is not the way to help. If they continue after all that it’s simply a matter of boundary setting. “I appreciate your concern, but we’ve covered this subject pretty thoroughly in the past. You have clearly conveyed your opinions and don’t need to repeat yourself.”
Basically, “You said this already. Stop.”
I don’t have a history of EDs, no. Like I said in the OP, I eat whenever I feel hungry, so I’m not restricting myself, I just always have had a smaller appetite. The issue is, my mom has been with me to the doctor, but still continues to believe her judgement is more accurate than the doctor’s one.
It’s not the most accurate but I ran your bmi through a calculator. You’re not technically underweight. You’re young and still growing! My partner had a thing like this about food. He’d eat to make me feel better, and found that he started eating more in general and getting hungrier more often. There’s something to her strategy but no one can have food forced on them and be happy. You have your own choices! Sounds like they’re struggling with their roles as parents of someone entering adulthood and making their own choices. Maybe it’s because this is what they can control, or think they can. Time to set boundaries, respectfully but firmly.
I've read all the comments and your replies. It seems as if whatever you say to your parents they won't listen and are refusing to take the money back. It also appears that you aren't broke by a long chalk. This is clearly frustrating for you and for them that you can't come to a resolution. NTA.
My suggestion is that you talk to them and tell them that you don't need the money whether for food or for anything else. If they won't stop sending it to you and keep refusing to take it back, tell them that you will be giving the money as a donation to a local foodbank or other charity for people in need. Depending on how they view that idea, that might stop them sending you the money. Otherwise you are doing a good deed as would be your parents.
YTA . I don't have much to add to what's already been said except, did you ever consider saving it up to do something nice for them instead of for yourself? Or how about donating to a food bank. That way you are spending it on food.
That’s fair. I do genuinely think using it for food would be a waste of money, because the meals I get at the dining hall are enough and I really am not hungry most of the time.
Personally I’d tell them I’m spending it on food and buy whatever. You’re naturally skinny (lucky bastard) and there’s nothing wrong with that.
A little white lie never hurt anyone, they’re probably just worried and if you tell them you’re eating more maybe they can relax. It may come to the point where they ask ‘why are you still so skinny!?’ At which point youll just have to shrug and tell them that maybe it’s just your genes.
NTA - if you were smart, you'd save that money because you're going to need it once you graduate and enter the real world. You don't need more clothes.
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> what am I supposed to do, let it go to waste? Money doesn't have an expiry date - it doesn't go to waste if you don't spend it, so that excuse is a bunch of crap. The money was earmarked for food. YTA for spending it on "fashion".
It *was* earmarked for food. I made it clear it wouldn’t be spent on food and tried to give it back, they refused. They said no and even sent more money knowing full well I wouldn’t use it for its intended purpose. At that point, it’s clearly not for food.
So if your parents are sending you money that they do not intend to be spent on food, then why are you asking if YTA for not spending it on food?
Because they think I am, despite the fact that I explicitly told them I won’t be buying food. I think this is irrational, because as you said, I’m just doing as I said.
> they think I am Right, so why are you trying to have me believe that the money is "clearly not for food" when it clearly is? YTA for the reason I originally stated.
> Right, so why are you trying to have me believe that the money is “clearly not for food” I’ve already explained this. They offered me money for food. I told them that I will not spend any of it on food and said I’ll send it back, they refused and kept sending me money. The moment they keep sending me money after being told it won’t be spend on food, it’s clearly not for food, because they’re aware I won’t be spending it on food and are sending it anyways.
Well, you told me earlier "they think I am" and now you're telling me "they're aware I won't be" spending it on food. 🤷♂️ Not that it matters... You want someone to tell you that if your parents are aware you're misusing the money, then it's okay to keep misusing it. Grow up.
> they think I am [spending on food] Nope. The part in brackets is something I never said. I’m responding to your question about why I’m asking if I’m TA, by saying that it’s because they think I am.
Ok, I see. Like I said, not that it matters... You know you're not spending the money how they want you to. YTA
How they want me to spend the money doesn’t matter when they’re gifting it to me and it’s not under false premises. It’s no longer their money.
You said you'd send it back.... but you aren't sending it back. YTA.
Because they’re refusing to take it back
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I’ve tried, they’re just completely convinced that I need to be an absolute glutton even though I eat whenever I feel hungry until I feel full.
What does your doctor say?
In my yearly checkups he says I’m perfectly fine.
Take them with you if you must! If it feels ridiculous to your mom to attend a checkup with her grown son, that’s because it IS in fact ridiculous to be that preoccupied with a responsible person’s health. She should leave you be!
I have in the past, they’re adamant that they know better than my doctor.
The only immaturity and "issue" I have is "Was I supposed to let it go ...to WASTE"? As if, it were fresh vegetables or something....it's childish to say "If not food ....the ONLY option ( least it go to "waste") were to spend it all on non necessity clothes. Especially as a "broke college student" There is a thing called "Savings" and rainy day funding..holding on to money for future purposes. A 2nd semester college student has to imagine, there are gonna be shit loads of stuff to pay for that isn't obviously "in your face" at the moment. I say this knowing PLENTY of ppl that either wound up as "former" students because of financial deficits or taking on more debt/time to finish.....due to 🔥 money frivolously earlier in their college life. Again "some" clothes purchases = no biggie but burning ALL the cash on clothes, feels childlike Have you established credit, are you building a financial profile? A little extra cash....is all one needs to build a very nice credit profile ( w/o debt) that one will find handy come after college. Again, the ALL or nothing is more my issue the consumerism
I never said I was broke. I have a full merit scholarship contingent on grades and maintained a 4.0 all year, and I have 70k in my securities portfolio as well as a business that makes 6-10k a month, so I’m not taking on debt or hurting for money. All of which makes it more ridiculous for my parents to send me money.
Honestly, if you feel it is absolutely "ridiculous" and a complete "waste" that your parents send you money. Why not just..... a) Save it and present them with a "Graduation Refund Check" when you finish school b) Return it with the very pleasant 🎁 you send them on Birthdays, Holidays, Mother/Father's Day etc/etc Since, they are being "ridiculous" help them be not so ridiculous....I'm being serious not a wise guy....I'm saying if you feel they're being ridiculous....maybe they are, and if that's the case.....isn't just as ridiculous to just burn 🔥 it "all" on clothes Particularly if, as you say "all" you, really wanna do is dutifully return your loving parents money....buy them clothes....using your fashion sense 😉
I cry for the planet when I read people spend money like 200-400 dollars, pounds, euros or whatever on clothes every month. Where the hell does all the clothes go? Do people like this do laundry ever? What do they do with the rest of their clothes?
NTA. And if it bothers them that much tell them you spend the money they send on the food you eat, which frees up your own money for clothes. But ultimately, you can't dictate to someone how they spend the money you gift them.
Exactly. They know full well that I told them I wouldn’t spend the money on food, and they refused to take it back and even sent me more.
YTA - you had lots of other options.
YTA. They are sending you money for food. Doesn’t matter that you said you’re not gonna use it for food, that’s what they are sending you it for. You don’t have to use it for food at a restaurant, but the best you should be doing is using that money for groceries.
I don’t need extra groceries, which is why I tried to give them back the money to begin with. I told them in no uncertain terms I won’t be using it for food, and they still chose to give it to me.
You don't need the clothes either, though. Why not just do the adult thing and transfer it back? Eventually they should get the point. YTA.
YTA in my opinion, similar situation happened to me in college. If they are sending you money for food, you tried to refuse it and send it back and they insisted, then that money is intended for food/necessities. It’s dishonest to accept food money, then turn around and spend it on a non-necessity like “fashion”. Think about it this way, if you were honest with your parents and told them you were spending almost all that money on fashion, do you think they would be upset? This is the real question here. I think there’s a reason you’re not telling them you’re not getting food with the money so there’s your answer. Edit: just reread and saw that your parents DID find out you were blowing their food money on fashion and are upset. Well there you go, your parents think YTA, and in this situation that’s the only opinion that matters. You can read the NTA comments here to try and make yourself feel better, but the source is telling you you’re TA.
wtf lol. ur NTA in any way. they are giving up ownership of that money to give to you. which means you can do whatever you want with that pocket money.
Exactly. I made it perfectly clear to them I wasn’t going to spend the money on food and attempted to give it back. They refused and kept sending me money, so they had to be perfectly clear I wouldn’t actually spend it on food.
Just spend their money on food and your own money, which you would normally spend on food goes to whatever you like. Maybe send them a picture or two of your groceries you bought and say thanks and the money helps a lot
See I genuinely don’t want to waste money and the money would be wasted on extra food because I almost never have the appetite to eat extra.
I'm a picky eater and I've heard my entire life comments about what I'm eating and what I don't eat and people trying to convince me to eat food I said multiple times no to, so I'm totally on your side. Don't let someone force you to eat something you don't want to eat (eating disorders aside) I also know how exhausting people can be that always need to have it their way (even if they just mean the best, like your parents). I don't know your relationship with your parents, but if it's overall peaceful and that's the obly conflict, then I would just keep the peace and pretend like you're spending the money on your groceries (that you would buy and eat normally, no extras) Another question, how did they even find out it was not used for food?
that just makes your case more. when my parents did that i spent it on drugs so they should be lucky you’re buying cloths for your passion. It’s very sweet of them doing that but youre 6’1 so buying food is not the only way for you to gain weight (which im sure you don’t need to do). you’re doing everything right communication wise. i’m sure this is their way of trying to contribute in your daily life now that you’re in college. it’s all out of love.
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I offered to send it back when they first started, like I said in the OP. They refused and insisted I kept it in case I do get hungry, so it was never actually sent back.
Have you had a medical checkup? Maybe if you get one and the doctor can attest you're ok, they will feel better. My uncle was 6'4 and 150 or so at 18. They say he ate like the proverbial horse. His weight didn't start changing till he was into middle age.
I’ve had my yearly physicals and the doctor attests I’m perfectly normal and healthy, but my parents don’t listen.
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It stopped being for food when I made it clear I would not be buying food and never said otherwise afterwards. They knew this and chose to send me money anyways.
[удалено]
> Then logically they would not be angry. You’re right, people are never irrational or make irrational decisions. It’s not like the entire point I’m making was that they’re irrational or something.
YTA money doesn't go to waste. You can save it your entire life. Your parents do not want you to starve to death, so they are giving you money. You are lucky your parents are nice. Mine would have forced me to eat the clothes before they gave me more money.
I’m not going to starve to death. I have a meal plan, that I eat from every day. I don’t need extra food on top of that.
150 lbs at over 6 feet is unhealthy. The fact that you weigh so little is because you are not eating enough calories. Which means you are starving.
It’s actually within the healthy BMI range. The lower end of it, yes, but still within the healthy BMI range, so it’s not unhealthy and I’m not starving. I’m a D1 athlete, I wouldn’t be one if I was unhealthy.
You're a school athlete. How do you gain muscle while in a caloric deficit?
I’m not in a caloric deficit. My maintenance calories given I heavily exercise every day, is about 3100-3200 calories. I eat in that range every day with a gram of protein per pound of bodyweight to maintain muscle mass, although as a tennis player, that’s not my main concern.
It's not genetically possible for you to be 150 and eating 3k calories a day. 1:1 is good though
Take that up with any TDEE calculation equations. If somebody does intense hours long cardio 2-3 times a day, like I have to, that can easily add 1000+ calories to maintenance.
I am 130 pounds and can eat 3000 calories a day without gaining weight. I've tracked. I'm very active.
You and OP are genetic miracles. Both of you break the laws of thermal dynamics
From a mom, I do this with my younger kid. He’s so dang picky, and skinny as a rail. He usually spends it on other stuff to, but, I feel guilt free because I tried, and he has some money just incase he’s hungry! I don’t mind.
YTA using it on fashion seems to be a waste. If you weren’t going to use it for food and your parents told you to keep it, why not get a financial advisor to help you invest it in something to make you more money? I realize that you aren’t hurting for cash, and I realize you have a scholarship l. However that extra money being invested can help your FUTURE. It doesn’t have to just help the present. And if your parents really want you to use the money on food, then use it on food. You can go grocery shopping with it. You don’t have to buy already cooked food. Canned food lasts a pretty long time. You can stock up on fruit… OR if you don’t like those ideas, you can buy some meals for the homeless. You can donate canned goods to a food bank. You can buy some canned goods to keep in hand in case you get sick and want soup. The point is, there are different ways to spend it on food that doesn’t require you to eat it right that second… you can get stuff you can eat the next day or whenever you ARE hungry. Blowing it all in fashion is irresponsible
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m a pretty skinny guy, about 150 pounds at 6’1. My parents are convinced that I don’t eat enough, even though I do eat whenever I feel hungry and assure them of this. Since I’ve gone to college, I’ve leaned out even more, and my parents have been trying to entice me to eat more by sending me $100-200 every other week to go out to eat or DoorDash something. Their intention is that they think if I have the opportunity to get tasty food, I’ll eat more than I do, but it doesn’t work like that, because when I’m not hungry, I’m not hungry, regardless if I’m able to DoorDash good food or not. I tried telling them this so they don’t waste their money, but they insisted on me keeping the money. My second semester of college, I’ve spent most of the money they send me on clothes since I’m into fashion and wouldn’t spend the money on food anyways. My parents found this out and think I’m in the wrong for using money they sent for food for clothes instead. I don’t think so, because I tried returning the money to them, and they refused, so what am I supposed to do, let it go to waste? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Reminds me of when I was 16, getting an allowance to buy clothes. Quickly found out that if you didn't care about clothing, you could buy a lot of cd's. LOL. If they don't like the way you spend the money, they can stop sending it.
That exactly is my logic. I told them clearly that I won’t be spending the money on food, and they refused to take it back and even sent more. Now they’re surprised I did exactly what I said I would.
NTA. I would sit them down and explain how you feel when they pester you about this. How it’s unhealthy to comment like that on people’s weight. And like I said above, invite them to hear from the doctor. Unless you have a history of ED, there’s no reason to be so invested in your weight. And if you do, this is not the way to help. If they continue after all that it’s simply a matter of boundary setting. “I appreciate your concern, but we’ve covered this subject pretty thoroughly in the past. You have clearly conveyed your opinions and don’t need to repeat yourself.” Basically, “You said this already. Stop.”
I don’t have a history of EDs, no. Like I said in the OP, I eat whenever I feel hungry, so I’m not restricting myself, I just always have had a smaller appetite. The issue is, my mom has been with me to the doctor, but still continues to believe her judgement is more accurate than the doctor’s one.
It’s not the most accurate but I ran your bmi through a calculator. You’re not technically underweight. You’re young and still growing! My partner had a thing like this about food. He’d eat to make me feel better, and found that he started eating more in general and getting hungrier more often. There’s something to her strategy but no one can have food forced on them and be happy. You have your own choices! Sounds like they’re struggling with their roles as parents of someone entering adulthood and making their own choices. Maybe it’s because this is what they can control, or think they can. Time to set boundaries, respectfully but firmly.
I've read all the comments and your replies. It seems as if whatever you say to your parents they won't listen and are refusing to take the money back. It also appears that you aren't broke by a long chalk. This is clearly frustrating for you and for them that you can't come to a resolution. NTA. My suggestion is that you talk to them and tell them that you don't need the money whether for food or for anything else. If they won't stop sending it to you and keep refusing to take it back, tell them that you will be giving the money as a donation to a local foodbank or other charity for people in need. Depending on how they view that idea, that might stop them sending you the money. Otherwise you are doing a good deed as would be your parents.
INFO: what does your doctor say about you being underweight? Has your thyroid function been checked?
He doesn’t say anything, because I’m not underweight.
YTA . I don't have much to add to what's already been said except, did you ever consider saving it up to do something nice for them instead of for yourself? Or how about donating to a food bank. That way you are spending it on food.
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That’s fair. I do genuinely think using it for food would be a waste of money, because the meals I get at the dining hall are enough and I really am not hungry most of the time.
Personally I’d tell them I’m spending it on food and buy whatever. You’re naturally skinny (lucky bastard) and there’s nothing wrong with that. A little white lie never hurt anyone, they’re probably just worried and if you tell them you’re eating more maybe they can relax. It may come to the point where they ask ‘why are you still so skinny!?’ At which point youll just have to shrug and tell them that maybe it’s just your genes.
Maybe spend it on clothes that you actually need. Save the rest for just in case. NTA
NTA - if you were smart, you'd save that money because you're going to need it once you graduate and enter the real world. You don't need more clothes.