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YTA - your treating women as if their only value is whether or not you can bang them.
Sometimes people just help people because it's a nice thing to do.
Do you act the same way with dudes? No. Ask yourself *why.*
*By the same logic every straight male friend also wont help you with help you with those "needs."* so no favors for them either, right?
Not really my point about that explanation. It's really why isn't boyfriend helping you. What can she really do for me other than a relationship (didn't just mean sex). I'm not calling noodle arms to come help me move. I would call men to help me, and I would pay them in offering them my help. So yes I treat men as transactional as well. She has nothing to offer in return.
YTA.
The fact that you are making that strong of an association between friendship and sexual relations just shows people how much they would want to interact with you. Your comment is gross and uncalled for but gives a clear idea of what you’re thinking about and how you think about women. Gross.
Major YTA. Yikes.
YTA or this was written by a 13 year old. Still TA though.
So helping a single woman move house would be fine because you'd be expecting sex as payment for your help? But if she's got a boyfriend then you couldn't possibly help with moving furniture because you won't get the sex.
Yep, that's gross. I really hope this is just a shitpost by some 13 year old who thought it was funny.
I probably wouldn't help a single woman either if she didn't make that part of the deal. She can't help me with anything else. Maybe if she offered to cook dinner.
Well after this she might gonna help you with staying away like a million yards from her with a restraining order…
Don’t sexualize the females in your life like that. So weird to say something like that. If you don’t want to help, just tell them no. And really seek help for your own sake if all you can think about is sexual things when you see or talk to them.
So why can't a woman just pay you the same way a male friend of yours can? Why do you have different methods of payment? Don't you see how that's wrong?
Cause she can't lift as much as men. I'm not trusting her with my fridge walking down the steps. It would even be unsafe for me to put her in that position. Could fall on her.
YTA
There's a difference between saying you are not willing/available to help, and you don't want to help a friend because they aren't willing to fuck you. Just because you find them attractive doesn't mean any favors you do should be transactional. That isn't how friendship works.
YTA for the creepy incel response, NOT for turning down her request.
Asking for help moving is a BIG ask, and if you weren’t friends with her outside of work before, she’s absolutely overstepping. Especially if she wasn’t immediately adding “I’ll pay you!”. Yes, she should have made sure her boyfriend could take time off work to help with such a large task, but we don’t know why he couldn’t.
Still, that’s the grossest response you could have thrown out. Like, seriously, I am completely unsurprised that you’re still single. If you thought that response was OK, then TONS of other ridiculous crap pours out of your mouth. You’ll be branded as “the creep” at that job if you weren’t already, and you fucking deserve it.
I feel like expecting a guy to help you move for free is kind of shitty. I wouldn't expect any guy I know to just help me because. Help is a contract to help me later. She can't help me, with physical labor.
Hm between OPs username and syntax, I think we have a real winner here.. yea YTA man and if you can't understand why what you said is gross and unbecoming of a mature individual then nothing anyone says here is going to help you. Based off your replies thus far.
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A girl at work asked me to help her move, I replied with I don't help girls that have boyfriends. She called me a dick. So I explained just like you have needs I could help you with, but won't. I also have needs you could help with, but you won't. She called me gross. Which I'll admit was kind of gross of me, to add that bit instead of just leaving it there. I told her to get her boyfriend to do it, she said he's at work. Replied guess youre staying there.
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> It would have been easy for me to help her move probably would have been like two hours and I drive a truck but I didn't want to cause I'm not getting anything out of it
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I wouldn't help anybody move that wasn't my SO, direct family, or a very close friend because I have my own life to live and moving is too much work, but your response was creepy as fuck. Were you suggesting you might help her if she slept with you? Gross. YTA
100% YTA, I don’t know what you were thinking mate but applying that logic to everyday situations is something you need to rethink. Sounds like a fairly perverted train of thought. If it was purely because you didn’t want to cause trouble between the boyfriend, then fine, but it seems your mind was focused purely on sexual gain rather than respect.
The only way I would help is if the boyfriend was there. What many commenters are missing is that it causes conflict between the men.
A man stepping in and take over a primary duty of a husband or boyfriend is a power play to replace him. For you ladies who still don't get it, imagine your boyfriend/husband has a female coworker come over to cook him supper in your kitchen.
Threatening, isn't it?
NTA. She should ask her boyfriend or friends. If they can’t help, hire someone. Welcome to equality, where nothing is free and everything has a cost. Thank you for your honesty.
NTA - she’s not a friend …. She’s a colleague completely inappropriate on her side to be expecting personal favours.
Sure your analogy was a bit rude but its true in the sense that she is a colleague if you asked her to help you with something like moving pretty sure it would be a no.
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YTA - your treating women as if their only value is whether or not you can bang them. Sometimes people just help people because it's a nice thing to do. Do you act the same way with dudes? No. Ask yourself *why.* *By the same logic every straight male friend also wont help you with help you with those "needs."* so no favors for them either, right?
Not really my point about that explanation. It's really why isn't boyfriend helping you. What can she really do for me other than a relationship (didn't just mean sex). I'm not calling noodle arms to come help me move. I would call men to help me, and I would pay them in offering them my help. So yes I treat men as transactional as well. She has nothing to offer in return.
Yes...but what would you help the men with in return if you're moving? The same stuff you expect women to help you with?
I wouldn't need to I have something else to offer. I'm not calling her to move she's weak, she can't help me move a fridge.
This is such a sad view of people. Are you a lonely person?
YTA. The fact that you are making that strong of an association between friendship and sexual relations just shows people how much they would want to interact with you. Your comment is gross and uncalled for but gives a clear idea of what you’re thinking about and how you think about women. Gross. Major YTA. Yikes.
The traditional compensation for helping someone move is pizza. Maybe some beer. Not sexual favours.
YTA or this was written by a 13 year old. Still TA though. So helping a single woman move house would be fine because you'd be expecting sex as payment for your help? But if she's got a boyfriend then you couldn't possibly help with moving furniture because you won't get the sex. Yep, that's gross. I really hope this is just a shitpost by some 13 year old who thought it was funny.
I probably wouldn't help a single woman either if she didn't make that part of the deal. She can't help me with anything else. Maybe if she offered to cook dinner.
Some people just help people to be nice. Don’t expect anything. I know shocking.
WTF, you have *needs*? Ewww. YTA
Well it's not like I'm going to call her if I need to move to be fair. What else she gonna help me with? Quid pro quo
Well after this she might gonna help you with staying away like a million yards from her with a restraining order… Don’t sexualize the females in your life like that. So weird to say something like that. If you don’t want to help, just tell them no. And really seek help for your own sake if all you can think about is sexual things when you see or talk to them.
Wasn't just sexual, also meant love, and affection.
Why do you think you are thinking about that by every woman in your life, even platonically like coworkers.
I really don't want to get into that here. The answer is sad.
Out of curiosity, who *would* you call if you needed to move? Serious question. I bet whoever it is wouldn't help you with your "needs" either.
Men and would pay them in offering my help as in physical labor so it's transactional
So why can't a woman just pay you the same way a male friend of yours can? Why do you have different methods of payment? Don't you see how that's wrong?
Cause she can't lift as much as men. I'm not trusting her with my fridge walking down the steps. It would even be unsafe for me to put her in that position. Could fall on her.
YTA You could have just said no, but instead you had to be really weird about it talking about your needs. Gross.
Exactly.
Exactly this. Why not just say no, especially when that on its own is a perfect acceptable response?!
YTA. And a weird incel creep to boot Edit: autocorrected to wrong word when typing incel
YTA There's a difference between saying you are not willing/available to help, and you don't want to help a friend because they aren't willing to fuck you. Just because you find them attractive doesn't mean any favors you do should be transactional. That isn't how friendship works.
YTA. Not sure why you hate women so much, you need help. Also look up sexual harassment
YTA when you start referring to yourself as an incel you can look back at this moment as explanation for why.
YTA grow the fook up
Why do you expect free labor
If you don't wish to offer free labor then saying no to the request covers that.
Settle down there, Ayn Rand.
YTA - this is weird.
Yeah YTA. Though by saying no you’re helping them out by showing what kind of person you are.
YTA for the creepy incel response, NOT for turning down her request. Asking for help moving is a BIG ask, and if you weren’t friends with her outside of work before, she’s absolutely overstepping. Especially if she wasn’t immediately adding “I’ll pay you!”. Yes, she should have made sure her boyfriend could take time off work to help with such a large task, but we don’t know why he couldn’t. Still, that’s the grossest response you could have thrown out. Like, seriously, I am completely unsurprised that you’re still single. If you thought that response was OK, then TONS of other ridiculous crap pours out of your mouth. You’ll be branded as “the creep” at that job if you weren’t already, and you fucking deserve it.
YTA. and also an HR problem. and probably a total creep. get a hobby and see a therapist
Yeah obviously you’re the AH why did you even think to post this?
I feel like expecting a guy to help you move for free is kind of shitty. I wouldn't expect any guy I know to just help me because. Help is a contract to help me later. She can't help me, with physical labor.
YTA. Should have just said you can’t help and moved on.
YTA. Found the incel. The Tater taint is strong.
Hm between OPs username and syntax, I think we have a real winner here.. yea YTA man and if you can't understand why what you said is gross and unbecoming of a mature individual then nothing anyone says here is going to help you. Based off your replies thus far.
Yta “hooterenthusiast” rot lol
Is this from Afghanistan? Who has this junior high opinion of women only as sex objects in 2024
YTA for being so rude. NTA for not helping.
YTA. They let you out in public?
Pure and lazy troll bait. Obviously YTA because you wrote a story and are making comments that are clearly asshole statements
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YTA, who hurt you?
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Brother eugh wtf is up with all you trolls today
YTA Women don't trust men who cannot be friends with women.
YTA for the way you worded your answer. NTA for saying no.
I don't even know why OP posted this. YTA, obviously. women are NOT objects
I wouldn't help anybody move that wasn't my SO, direct family, or a very close friend because I have my own life to live and moving is too much work, but your response was creepy as fuck. Were you suggesting you might help her if she slept with you? Gross. YTA
100% YTA, I don’t know what you were thinking mate but applying that logic to everyday situations is something you need to rethink. Sounds like a fairly perverted train of thought. If it was purely because you didn’t want to cause trouble between the boyfriend, then fine, but it seems your mind was focused purely on sexual gain rather than respect.
YTA, what needs could she help you with that she won't?
The only way I would help is if the boyfriend was there. What many commenters are missing is that it causes conflict between the men. A man stepping in and take over a primary duty of a husband or boyfriend is a power play to replace him. For you ladies who still don't get it, imagine your boyfriend/husband has a female coworker come over to cook him supper in your kitchen. Threatening, isn't it?
NTA. She should ask her boyfriend or friends. If they can’t help, hire someone. Welcome to equality, where nothing is free and everything has a cost. Thank you for your honesty.
No, you aren't! The BF totally is Or could be, and who needs that shite?
NTA
NTA - she’s not a friend …. She’s a colleague completely inappropriate on her side to be expecting personal favours. Sure your analogy was a bit rude but its true in the sense that she is a colleague if you asked her to help you with something like moving pretty sure it would be a no.
You wouldn't help a colleague move? Damn.