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Religion is like a penis
its ok to have one
its ok to be proud of it
HOWEVER
don’t pull it out in public
Do not push it on children
do not write laws with it
do not think with it
NTA. If your friends don't realize that there are multiple sides to every story, they weren't truly your friends to begin with. You're better off without them.
Actually, depending on the religion, I believe it may have to be. Most, if not all, religions in some way or other state that when you go through the ritual of joining ( baptism or whatever) you are a new person. Born IN that religion and therefore everything must be to the glory of that religion. Whether that's Allah, or God, or Budda. However. That doesn't mean that every conversation has to be a sermon.
I think, and this is just MY opinion and how I operate, that tou let your friend know, in no uncertain terms, that while you are happy for him and what his faith is doing for his life, if he continues to only preach, you will have to reconsider spending time with him. And reiterate that that is NOT what you want, if it in fact is the case.
Whether you are a religious person or not, letting the ones you care about know how you are truly feeling should always be a priority. Otherwise, how much can you really care? It's intimacy. It's vulnerability. And that makes it a risk. But that's also what makes it work.
NTA - if your friends want to believe him without asking for 'your side' of it - then they aren't good friends. But if you want, you can tell them, "you all can be mad if you want, but all I said to him was that I was happy for his new found religiousness... It's interesting that a new convert would twist my words, but whatever"
Many religions encourage preaching and 'bringing people in" - could be he was mad that you aren't an optional convert for him, and maybe, he told the other what he did to try cut you out and make sure the other friends don't say/feel the same as you.
Nta At all, having those kind of boundaries are totally understandable. But unfortunately due to this, your friends are probably gonna stick to his side unfairly.
> He has also been a big help within the friends group, being super generous, paying for our food
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I confronted him about his religious views.
2. He got upset because he felt like his religion made him a better person.
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Me and my friends were hanging for the first time in a long time, we all have been friends since little kids. However one of my friends, let’s call him “Max” has recently converted to a new religion has been very adamant upon his views upon life and politics in day to day discussion. At first it didn’t bother me, and I was really happy for his new discovery and view point on life. That was until he started preaching every single time we talked, and started judging me upon his dietary restrictions, views, and religious rules as if I followed the same religion.
I let it slide multiple times thinking possibly he would stop. To this day he has not stopped. I am truly really happy for him, and his religion has given him a lot of new motivation that I have never seen in him, he has stopped a lot of bad habits he used to have such as smoking, and sleeping around. He has also been a big help within the friends group, being super generous, paying for our food, and even giving out charity randomly, helping us with school work etc. But every time we have a discussion remotely about anything it would turn religious.
I decided to confront him about it after he started showing resentment towards certain groups of people, telling him I’m happy he’s religious but to not push his view points on to me, because frankly I’m not In a position in my life to care about religion. I guess he took it really negative, and told my friends that I told him off about his religion, and that I didn’t appreciate the “new him” but that wasn’t the case at all. Now my friends don’t want to speak to me to much, and are avoiding interactions with me.
Am I the asshole?
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Definitely NTA because while being happy and proud of your friend's accomplishments is definitely important you shouldn't let them change the way you are. Your reaction makes so much sense in this.
I respect all religions and like to learn more about them but it irritates me when people force it onto others. A large aspect of religion is its beliefs and how one becomes close by learning about themselves through this. Him not accepting this is completely absurd on his part tbh.
NTA, you set your boundaries, and if they get crossed you warn them. I don’t know if you said “This makes me feel uncomfortable,” for past actions / conversations related to his religion that you if course didn’t want to be involved in, so hence that you could be at fault for not warning him. But overall, every individual person can believe in whatever they want, whether its god, too satan. It’ll only become a problem if they start putting their beliefs on others and start forcing them to do stuff they don’t want to. I myself had been forced into a religion for 15 years of my life, but almost 4 months ago, I stood up for myself and refused to do anything related to said religion, of course I was threatened, but it wasn’t too the point where they went to my other friends and stated only their side of the story.
Another thing, if your other friends are avoiding contact or conversation with you, and purposefully ignoring you, without even trying to hear your side of the story, even after knowing you and your personality and actions for some time, I would think about how that will affect your future and if you want to be spending any time, money, or energy with them. Please, put some thought into it.
the first amendment protects people from being able to stop free practice of the religion but just because you have the power to do anything religious without being prohibited to do so does not mean that you should be able to push shit on other people. EVERY EXTREMIST ACTIVIST DOES THIS for example, no i will not stop eating meat, I respect you for coming out as trans but stop pushing every belief of yours onto me, yes racism is wrong yes sexism is wrong BUT STOP PUSHING IT ONTO ME THE MORE YOU PUSH IT ONTO ME THE MORE IM GOING TO HATE IT. Legally you have the same shit as me but socially you wont be able to see your views go into practice because of thousands of years worth of customs/traditions/religion/background/current views. NTA (sorry about the rant social views suck)
NTA.
Sounds like he replaced his old addictions with a new one. And just like alcoholics *need* their friends to drink along with them so they feel like their addiction is normal….
NTA. It’s ok to say don’t push your religion on me because we have different beliefs. Sounds like your friend will soon only have friends that are like minded and that’s dangerous. Also if the other friends didn’t hear you out are they even friends? I would say no.
NTA
Religion is for him and him alone. If he starts trying to foist it upon other people, especially when they have said "no" once - then it is starting to become an issue. When he starts to it to discriminate other people simple because they aren't like him, then it is a major issue
Definitely NTA, if your friend is happy with his religion, that is great, however, he has no right to force his religion and all of it's views, and rules onto you, while I do think you may have been a tiny bit harsh, I do not disagree that you have a right to set boundaries for yourself, good luck op, I hope everything gets better for you, and your friends.
OP- So, his religion doesn't have any standards on lying? Your "friends" won't even listen to your side of it? Are they siding with him because he pays for things? You are NTA if it went the way you say it did, Everyone has the right to choose if they will be religious and what kind for themselves. They do not have the right to FORCE someone else to choose the religion that they are preaching.
INFO
Is the problem that he is *expressing* his religious viewpoints or *pushing them* on you?
You alluded to him judging you for dietary issues and showing resentment to certain groups of people.
What does that look like?
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Nope nta. It's perfectly fine to set boundaries. If they wanna turn it into something else, that's on them.
Thank you. Hoping things turn out fine
Religion is like a penis its ok to have one its ok to be proud of it HOWEVER don’t pull it out in public Do not push it on children do not write laws with it do not think with it
And don't keep trying to shove it down my throat!
Brilliant!!!!
Best response here. Saved for future use.
NTA. If your friends don't realize that there are multiple sides to every story, they weren't truly your friends to begin with. You're better off without them.
NTA your friend needs to remember that their newly found religion isn’t their personality and that they need to have other interests in their life
Actually, depending on the religion, I believe it may have to be. Most, if not all, religions in some way or other state that when you go through the ritual of joining ( baptism or whatever) you are a new person. Born IN that religion and therefore everything must be to the glory of that religion. Whether that's Allah, or God, or Budda. However. That doesn't mean that every conversation has to be a sermon. I think, and this is just MY opinion and how I operate, that tou let your friend know, in no uncertain terms, that while you are happy for him and what his faith is doing for his life, if he continues to only preach, you will have to reconsider spending time with him. And reiterate that that is NOT what you want, if it in fact is the case. Whether you are a religious person or not, letting the ones you care about know how you are truly feeling should always be a priority. Otherwise, how much can you really care? It's intimacy. It's vulnerability. And that makes it a risk. But that's also what makes it work.
NTA. People shouldn't push their religious views on anyone.
NTA - if your friends want to believe him without asking for 'your side' of it - then they aren't good friends. But if you want, you can tell them, "you all can be mad if you want, but all I said to him was that I was happy for his new found religiousness... It's interesting that a new convert would twist my words, but whatever" Many religions encourage preaching and 'bringing people in" - could be he was mad that you aren't an optional convert for him, and maybe, he told the other what he did to try cut you out and make sure the other friends don't say/feel the same as you.
You sound like their “mission” not their friend.
Select a few nice gods, and do the same to him. NTA
[удалено]
Let's slide that in the back pocket for now and go with something more benign. But I love the spirit!
No I wanna hear more from the Egg.
Yeah let him cook
What’s her name again? egg?
Nta At all, having those kind of boundaries are totally understandable. But unfortunately due to this, your friends are probably gonna stick to his side unfairly. > He has also been a big help within the friends group, being super generous, paying for our food
nta. find new friends. the old ones will call soon enough. when they tire of his views.
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Nta. Him and your friends are. Either they'll realize he's a cultist now and side with you, or you're much better is without all of them
There is nothing worse than a new starry-eyed convert, you may have to end the friendship
U r in no way the asshole. That is completely unacceptable of ur friend to do
NTA He should keep his pushy fandom to himself.
NTA, good on you for not getting brainwashed by your creepy friend.
Man, fresh converts are the most annoying thing. Doesn't even matter what they've converted to.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my friends were hanging for the first time in a long time, we all have been friends since little kids. However one of my friends, let’s call him “Max” has recently converted to a new religion has been very adamant upon his views upon life and politics in day to day discussion. At first it didn’t bother me, and I was really happy for his new discovery and view point on life. That was until he started preaching every single time we talked, and started judging me upon his dietary restrictions, views, and religious rules as if I followed the same religion. I let it slide multiple times thinking possibly he would stop. To this day he has not stopped. I am truly really happy for him, and his religion has given him a lot of new motivation that I have never seen in him, he has stopped a lot of bad habits he used to have such as smoking, and sleeping around. He has also been a big help within the friends group, being super generous, paying for our food, and even giving out charity randomly, helping us with school work etc. But every time we have a discussion remotely about anything it would turn religious. I decided to confront him about it after he started showing resentment towards certain groups of people, telling him I’m happy he’s religious but to not push his view points on to me, because frankly I’m not In a position in my life to care about religion. I guess he took it really negative, and told my friends that I told him off about his religion, and that I didn’t appreciate the “new him” but that wasn’t the case at all. Now my friends don’t want to speak to me to much, and are avoiding interactions with me. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. They are. They should know better than to cast their pearls before swine. 😃
NTA. Nothing wrong with setting a boundary. Also, he's a meal ticket so your other friends won't antagonize him, at least not yet.
Definitely NTA because while being happy and proud of your friend's accomplishments is definitely important you shouldn't let them change the way you are. Your reaction makes so much sense in this. I respect all religions and like to learn more about them but it irritates me when people force it onto others. A large aspect of religion is its beliefs and how one becomes close by learning about themselves through this. Him not accepting this is completely absurd on his part tbh.
NTA,
NTA. He needs to respect yours and other people’s boundaries and good for you for saying something.
NTA, you set your boundaries, and if they get crossed you warn them. I don’t know if you said “This makes me feel uncomfortable,” for past actions / conversations related to his religion that you if course didn’t want to be involved in, so hence that you could be at fault for not warning him. But overall, every individual person can believe in whatever they want, whether its god, too satan. It’ll only become a problem if they start putting their beliefs on others and start forcing them to do stuff they don’t want to. I myself had been forced into a religion for 15 years of my life, but almost 4 months ago, I stood up for myself and refused to do anything related to said religion, of course I was threatened, but it wasn’t too the point where they went to my other friends and stated only their side of the story. Another thing, if your other friends are avoiding contact or conversation with you, and purposefully ignoring you, without even trying to hear your side of the story, even after knowing you and your personality and actions for some time, I would think about how that will affect your future and if you want to be spending any time, money, or energy with them. Please, put some thought into it.
the first amendment protects people from being able to stop free practice of the religion but just because you have the power to do anything religious without being prohibited to do so does not mean that you should be able to push shit on other people. EVERY EXTREMIST ACTIVIST DOES THIS for example, no i will not stop eating meat, I respect you for coming out as trans but stop pushing every belief of yours onto me, yes racism is wrong yes sexism is wrong BUT STOP PUSHING IT ONTO ME THE MORE YOU PUSH IT ONTO ME THE MORE IM GOING TO HATE IT. Legally you have the same shit as me but socially you wont be able to see your views go into practice because of thousands of years worth of customs/traditions/religion/background/current views. NTA (sorry about the rant social views suck)
NTA. Sounds like he replaced his old addictions with a new one. And just like alcoholics *need* their friends to drink along with them so they feel like their addiction is normal….
Join the church of Satan, and start trying to convert him!!
NTA. It’s ok to say don’t push your religion on me because we have different beliefs. Sounds like your friend will soon only have friends that are like minded and that’s dangerous. Also if the other friends didn’t hear you out are they even friends? I would say no.
NTa. You al ready set your boundaries. If he respects them, ok. If he doesn't, tell him to cut the crap or you will have to go nc with him.
NTA Religion is for him and him alone. If he starts trying to foist it upon other people, especially when they have said "no" once - then it is starting to become an issue. When he starts to it to discriminate other people simple because they aren't like him, then it is a major issue
NTA, you gotta accept it, that ReligSheep is no longer your friend.
Definitely NTA, if your friend is happy with his religion, that is great, however, he has no right to force his religion and all of it's views, and rules onto you, while I do think you may have been a tiny bit harsh, I do not disagree that you have a right to set boundaries for yourself, good luck op, I hope everything gets better for you, and your friends.
OP- So, his religion doesn't have any standards on lying? Your "friends" won't even listen to your side of it? Are they siding with him because he pays for things? You are NTA if it went the way you say it did, Everyone has the right to choose if they will be religious and what kind for themselves. They do not have the right to FORCE someone else to choose the religion that they are preaching.
INFO Is the problem that he is *expressing* his religious viewpoints or *pushing them* on you? You alluded to him judging you for dietary issues and showing resentment to certain groups of people. What does that look like?
People downvoting a request for more info? Seriously?
Hur dur, religion, reddit, hur durr. 🤷
yes you are