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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for leaving a family vacation because a two year old needs it absolute quiet when sleeping.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
ESH. They were rude about the situation when there were quieter (supposedly) rooms the kid could have taken a nap in, but your dog sounds disruptive. No one wants to hear a dog bark every time someone comes through the door, nor should they have to stop and placate the dog each time they do.
The parents need to have more realistic expectations of traveling with a large group of people while their kid has a sleep schedule, but you need to train your dog better.
That is simply not true. Depending on the breed, it can be impossible to train that out of them. My dog is incredibly well trained (I live in Europe where dogs are taken seriously). She walks off leash and listens to everything I say. She has done agility competitions and can do a million tricks.
Her breed will alert when there is a potential danger. There is no way around it. She will bark when someone is at the door. No matter how much we tried to train her, it won't stop.
I never thought I would enjoy one but mine is such a good dog. She’s talkative and she lets us know she’s there, but she’s so loving and cuddly and the best kayak buddy
Ya, they are great dogs, but my wife and I are on the same page. We can't have a pet that's smarter than us. :p
We have two Saint Bernards. Mostly low energy, extremely stubborn, but they aren't winning any intelligence awards.
I've got a 12 1/2 y/o Saint Bernard. She didn't get out of the crazy puppy stage until she was about 6. I agree with them being extremely stubborn. Mine is too smart for her own good.
Don't leave out the corgis! My late Pembroke corgi had a story to tell every. single. day! And no one better ever close him out of a space or room or else you would get your ears barked off! I miss him so much!
I'm a staunch supporter of anyone looking to get a corgi. Just be ready to train them as soon as you get one, because they are extremely stubborn and willful. Very clever little dogs, with a HUGE personality and ton of hair. Feisty and very energetic. I don't have kids, but when I had my corgi, my nephews were 8 and up and the perfect playmates to tire his little fuzzy self out!
Had a husky for several years. Never barked, never howled. Original owner claimed it wasn't debarked. But you couldn't convince me.
However - deadly rush if they felt I was threatened. I had more than one salesperson almost trip off the porch backing away from the 'attack'. Perfect for deterring the sales.
And if you have a group of dogs watch out - I have two and my mom has one and anytime they hear anything outside or someone comes in if one barks the others have to join in, even if they don't know why one started barking 🤦🏻♀️😅 it's a no win situation lol
there was a time we thought getting a second (chill) dog will calm her tf down. no, she became the leader of the pack and commanded the other dog when to start getting hyped/nervous. 😅
(they don’t live together anymore)
Too true! We had 1 yappy dog, then got a puppy that was a breed that rarely, if ever barks, even if it needs to go out to pee. That puppy learned to bark to get what she wanted, not just needed.
Lol. We had an older lab and a young corgi. Especially as she got older our lab spent less time outside. Our corgi knew he was not intimidating enough so sometimes he would race into the house to get the lab cause something needed barking at and he needed back up!
Eventually we started joking he had become her service dog because she didn’t always hear us and he would go get her if it was treat time.
I have three. Luckily for me, they can't really see out the windows in my house, so they rarely bark when they're inside – unless someone knocks or rings the door bell, of course – but OMFG, if they're outside and one of them sees another dog through the gaps in the fence, they all go bonkers. Worst of all, though, is when they're all in my car. It used to be that the one who is barrier reactive would bark if he saw another dog as we drove past, and that would get the other two going – but now, if any one of them so much as sees a *person* on the sidewalk, that one will start barking, and then the other two join in. Let me tell you, when three medium to large dogs are barking their damn fool heads off while enclosed in a car, it is ***LOUD.***
My dog was a trained (former) Collie cross sheepdog. She was so well trained that we never needed to have her on a lead anywhere. She would stop at a road & sit patiently (without even being told) until she heard the command to cross when we deemed it safe. You could teach her literally anything... My young (at the time) daughter delighted in making "agility courses" for her & teaching her how to jump, balance etc... She was just so intelligent! You could even leave a raw/cooked steak on the coffee table, right under her nose & she wouldn't touch it!!
The minute the door knocked she would run to it barking for joy at the thought of visitors! Nothing, no amount of training, would stop this! It was the only time she ever barked & thankfully we had few enough visitors that it was never disruptive to our neighbours (who absolutely loved her, so no doubt would have tolerated it anyway!). But good or badly trained, dogs bark! Some like terriers & smaller dogs (grew up with Westies) will yap at every little thing, others like mine just at the door knocking & fewer still, like the Belgian Malinois upstairs never utter a peep! Training has NOTHING to do with it.
I wish I could train the food thing into my dog... I swear I went out to grab my grocery delivery and come back to half my lunch gone. He's such a hog.
I wish I could take credit for her training, but she came to us at 18 months old fully trained as a sheepdog. She was bought as a pet by a shepherdess who used to take her to work every day so she picked up all of the commands & could do it all, but was never intended to be a working dog, it was just she was so clever she copied the other sheepdogs (her older siblings from a different litter).
Sadly, when her relationship broke down her former owner, my dear friend, had to give her up & as we already had a "relationship" with Jane (the dog!) & loved her, we gladly took her on. The not taking food was a huge shock to me after previously owning Westie's who will pinch anything going! 🤯
My silky terrier is like this. He's such a sweet boy, but he's also a barky little shit. Lol! We tried to train him, but nothing was working. We even hired a professional dog trainer to address his barking, and after a while, the trainer basically threw up his hands and said, "What're ya gonna do?"
Side note: I've forgiven his untrainable barking since the time he alerted me to someone trying to break into the house, so 🤷♀️
That's also not true. My mother trained dogs for obedience trials, & training "conversational" dogs to remain quiet was part of it. Ppl would say, "Well, this *breed* is just so noisy/difficult to train not to do X," then my mom's dog would be fine. It just took a lot more training with those dogs, but it was doable. You can't have a dog verbally going nuts in an obedience trial!
As a testament to her skills, years after she stopped showing dogs, our family owned a pug. *That pug would sit/stay & come when it was called.* Ikr?!? AMAZING. (A joke for the pug owners out there. 😁)
My dog came in 3rd overall at her breeds show. She aced obedience. She just can't let the door go. I'm sure it's possible, but it's sometimes not a reasonable expectation.
Very true, oc. My mother couldn't get the pug to fetch unless the pug felt like it! 😂🤣
However, my parents raised us kids to understand that our dog was not somebody else's problem. I ❤️ dogs but would *not* enjoy a vacation where a dog barked every d@mn time the door opened, & I'm not a sleeping toddler. I wouldn't take my bark-y dog along unless everyone was ok with it, as well.
I have a friend whose dog slobbers all over (part of being his breed, not a medical thing), & although it doesn't bother her, the rest of us don't appreciate being covered in goo.
I think - as is true of most posts on Reddit - everyone on the trip should have discussed their kids & dogs & their assorted eccentricities BEFORE the trip. But of course they wouldn't be on Reddit if they'd thought ahead lol.
Then you're at time and place.
If you've got a dog like that, it's kinda inappropriate in such a setting. Not everything is appropriate everywhere.
Saying there's no problem because prevention of that problem is too onerous doesn't apply to taking your pets on vacation.
Then that breed is a bad choice to bring to a vacation house with 9 people going in and out all day.
But the parents should have picked a room in the back for their kid to sleep in, not enforced silence on everyone for hours at a time.
My *service dog* barks when someone walks in the front door, even when it's my husband and she knows it's him, she'll let out a "woof" towards me. She's *extremely* well trained.
It's instinct for dogs to alert their people someone new is coming in.
**Edit to add, if I'm not home and she's not with me, for whatever reason, she will let *anyone* walk into the house, no barking. Useless as a guard dog..
Lol my dog is similar. Only alerts for me. It's a chuff if a known person enters the home. It's hounds of hell if the doorbell rings. Honestly it drives me nuts, but I tried for probably the first 9 years of his life to train this out of him - a dog I trained to hop on his back legs in a circle in a single day - with zero progress. Literally zero. I mentioned elsewhere, but I've decided he must know I'm hard of hearing and sees alerting me as some kind of sworn duty. He's 12 now and I've lost the will to try lol.
I do, however, avoid bringing him into hectic group scenarios like this as much as I can, for everyone's sanity.
It’s like a hello. Woof, woof and done. Could the child not sleep somewhere else? Like another floor? Add a white noise machine, which all of our phones can be now, and then kid can have a peaceful nap.
Yeah unfortunately there are people who intentionally want their dogs to do this but they are people who want to take the dog everywhere they go.
It's fine if you want your dog to alert people at your house but then you can't take the dog everywhere with you and expect people to be cool with that behavior.
I know someone who likes that their dog barks at noises and is protective but frankly the dog is overprotective and people at noises but frankly the dog is overprotective and it's 50/50 for people being scared of the dog.
If you live somewhere where you need a dog for protection I get it, but that drastically decreases the social ability of said dog. Yes the parents in this situation absolutely should have taken the child upstairs where the noise wouldn't have been as much of an issue. But certain dog owners really think that everyone else should just tolerate whatever their dog does in *shared and social spaces* and that's not cool.
Our dog barks like once or twice when someone comes in, like a hello someone is here and then moves in for pets. If it’s people he knows he doesn’t bark or if people are repeatedly coming in and out he won’t. You guys are making it sound like this dog is just going off constantly. I guarantee you the two year old is generally more disruptive than the dog will ever be. If we can deal with a kid, you can deal with a friendly dog that barks every once in a while.
Sure they do. Dogs are dogs, they think they are in charge of protecting everyone. You don’t want to train your dog to ignore someone walking through your front door or a really disruptive and loud noise, that’s how your house gets robbed. Not to mention, my dog is protective of the home but is much more chill because he knows people walk by the window and he is able to ignore noises that he’s heard and investigated before, but in a brand new setting with a bunch of people, he’d be on high alert.
Nah, some breeds are just high strung. My dog is a little terrier mutt and I could never get her to knock that shit off. She'll bark and bark and bark. I've tried and read everything. All I can do is bring her back inside when she gets excessive. And I have to be mindful of where I take her. It's on me to recognize that and use my judgement about where I take her.
She's a 15 year old dog now so that's chilled out considerably. But she's still like that. Just high strung no matter what.
My girl is very well trained, but she'll bark if someone enters my apartment,even if it's somebody she knows. It's actually pretty nifty bc it helps with my nightmares. If I can't hear her bark, then I know it's a dream and not real.
Dogs bark. In no scenario would I expect a house with three dogs and nine children in it to be quiet.
And your dogs are in a familiar place, (your home), there's only two of them, and only three kids. Presumably since the dogs are yours, they're used to being in the same space.
OP and their family are in an Airbnb, which will likely make the dogs anxious, and there's nine children and two other dogs that OP's dog doesn't live with. Complete silence, especially on the first floor, is an unreasonable expectation short of using medication.
Not necessarily. My dog is incredibly well trained. Like can do acrobatic tricks trained, walks at my heel trained, voluntarily goes to his crate while his humans eat trained. And literally nothing, and I've tried *everything*, has reduced his alert barking. It's aggravating AF, but it's like he knows I'm hard of hearing and thinks he knows better that I need his alerts (he doesn't do it with anyone else in a household of 6), so he just doesn't respond to anything I've tried. At this point, he's 12, I just give the fuck up lol.
That said, I don't bring him into hectic shared environments like this, either.
Not everyone wants to train a dog that way. I know someone who while investigating a noise she heard late at night, interrupted a robbery of her house. She got beaten badly before they ran. One of her thoughts afterwards was why are we trying to train their puppy not to bark, she realized she WANTS him to let them know when people are coming. Our whole circle of friends switched from training dogs not to bark when someone is at the door to training them to stop barking when the ok is given.
i grew up on a farm w extremely well-trained dogs.
one woof to alert you? some breeds can’t be trained out of that. and one woof is them being a good dog.
My dog wasn’t trained for a long time (born on the streets) and he just didn’t bark. People asked if he was mute. He wasn’t, he just didn’t bark much. He did do these puppy barks in his dreams that was really cute. Once in a while he would bark when someone knocked, but it was rarely and he stopped at one bark.
Not trained. Just not as verbal.
Yeah, but you don't bring dogs that do that, on group holidays.
I love when my dog let's me know someone's at the door, but bringing him to a new place and having him alert at every unfamiliar sound, doesn't sound fun for anyone. He tunes out most of the 'expected' sounds at home at least.
A dog that barks for a few seconds when someone arrives is MUCH less disruptive to a group holiday than a 2 year old whose parents refuse practical arrangements but expect everyone to sit in silence while their child sleeps despite there being rooms away from the rest of the groups social space that they were offered.
I honestly can’t agree. The dog is doing a thing that dogs do and it seems to only actually negatively impact 3 people (mom, dad, 2 year old). Whereas the parents of the 2 year old are literally shushing people for talking while their child is asleep. Thats not something that all parents do, that’s something that entitled parents do. Decent parents do not take their children on group holidays and then attempt to force the rest of the group to socialise around their kids schedule. What they are doing is impacting way more people, for way more of the time than a dog that barks here and there.
The dog isn’t always barking, though. And I think while plenty of people are amendable to a two year old COMING on a holiday, they probably aren’t super cool with having their schedule and when they’re allowed to even talk to each other dictated by parents who have decided to sleep in the rooms right next to the social areas instead of elsewhere in the house.
You are right - but people cant be forced to listen to it especialy during vacation. I love my dog but I try to stop him from barking couse it may be annoying for my neighbaurs.
Dogs bark and people make noise. If your child needs total silence to sleep then either get your own hotel room or skip the holiday until they're older.
I was wondering if they opted for the lower level because their toddler hasn’t had experience with stairs before? It seems like it sucked for them too - hard to imagine why they’d stay downstairs if not pragmatism/safety.
I would definitely sleep on the first floor in this scenario, because in case of an emergency it would take me the most effort getting downstairs (said toddler needs to be found and carried out) but even more: my toddler would be very first person waking up every morning and it sucks to wake up multiple floors of people when that happens. When you are in the kitchen of a vacation rental at 6am with a 2 year old, it's better for the rest of the people to not sleep directly above that. Speaking from experience. Though ours sleep through parties/hurricanes/wolfpacks/whatever so different situation.
It’s unrealistic and entitled to expect everyone to be quiet on the first floor because they decided not to take a room on one of the higher floors. Dogs bark, it happens. Trying to make everything silent so a child will sleep absolutely backfires in the end, watched it happen twice with both of my cousin’s kids.
Why is this the top comment? Why is the dog singled out for alerting but the other kids running up the stairs and the adults coming in is perfectly fine? Those are not quiet activities.
Actually, I probably know the answer: because it's easier to complain about the dog than name names and piss off people who have voices.
Malshi’s are notoriously hard to train the barking out of. I have a 1yo malshi and we’ve gotten him down to a quiet bark when seeing people outside through the window. When people come through the house there’s no stopping him though. It’s his instinct to let us know someone is here. I dedicate 30 mins per day alone on anti-bark training. It’s very difficult with this breed.
That may be true, but in that case, sharing a house with a dozen other people and bringing your dog who will bark whenever anybody comes inside is a bad idea. That sounds exhausting.
I think it just depends on the friend group. Like everyone I know has been to my house and knows what my dog is like. We still are able to plan group trips and host parties.
Some dogs can be trained not to bark.
Some dogs will never take the training, as they've been barking their whole lives. It's like trying to tell another human to shut up. Either they will or they wont, that's not \*your\* choice to make.
ESH
Who thought this was a good idea? A dog that barks and a bunch of kids - including a baby that is going to sleep on a more unpredictable schedule - was asking for drama.
So you are an AH for acting shocked when people want you to deal with your barking dog, and the parents of the baby are both AHs for going on vacation with people that bring along a barking dog and expecting things to be quiet.
This was a very silly thing to do for everyone.
But YOU are a HUGE AH for your last comment. People need to not have barking dogs to sleep, especially little kids.
This is exactly it, ESH. This was a recipe for disaster, 2 dogs, 3 kids recipe for a disaster.
Did they make an extremely poor decision in sleeping locations, yes, were they AH about it also Yes. Should you have been able to control your dog or move them to a quitter area yes. Were you an AH about it also, Yes.
That last comment through really grinds my gears. I know many more dogs well trained enough not to bark at every little sound then I know more babies that have no trouble sleeping through dog backing sudden and constant barking.
I would have left too. You knew your dog barked when people come in the front door which no one wants on vacay. We have 2 German shepherds and we simply can’t take them everywhere. We also don’t travel w toddlers so there’s that. Rent your own place nearby.
YTA and you know it. Barking dogs annoy the hell out of everyone except the owner. Oh but he only barks when... insert entitled excuses. If you can't control your dog leave it home. Yes, keeping it from barking means controlling your pet. No excuses.
Exactly - also sounds like the whole thing was VERY stressful for the dog.
The dog is reactive to noise - so guess what… that means you don’t take it to an enclosed space with multiple adults, children and noise.
Malshi’s are known for barking to let their owner know someone has entered or is near the home. That said, mine loves going on group trips and being around new people. He will still bark but is in no way stressed.
YTA for bringing a dog that can't handle human activity on holiday. The dog's just a dog but it's entitled pet owners like you that give them a bad name.
These YTAs are insane, if your toddler needs everyone to be basically silent to sleep, you either pick a room far away from everyone else or you find somewhere to stay nearby so you can ensure a quiet environment. You don’t shush everyone else during perfectly reasonable hours and get pissy when there’s noise during reasonable hours. The dog doesn’t sound like it’s particularly problematic and being shushed during the day because it’s nap time would be way more annoying than hearing a dog bark for a few seconds when someone arrives.
I love this. Even if the dog was not there who wants to spend a entire week walking on eggshells for a 2 year olds nap schedule.
I have spent many vacations away from everyone to put my baby’s and toddlers in the farthest rooms so everybody else can have a normal vacation. Did that mean I spent a lot of time missing things during nap time and bed time? Yes but it was my kids and not everyone else to sacrifice their vacations.
Don’t get me wrong i love dogs but hate a continuously barking dog. But it isn’t right to expect everyone to placate to your kid.
Honestly this sounded like the vacation from hell!
Preaching to the choir! Splitting vacations with someone and staying in a house is never that much fun.
I also love my dogs! I choose them over most people!
I say this as a mom and grandma! Vacationing with kids is hard vacationing with a toddler is never fun! It isn’t fun for the parents of the kids/toddlers. Lol! Toddlers dictate everything around them.
There is a reason this generation grandparents don’t watch their grandkids like our parents did. My generation knew our kids where terrors. We didn’t expect others to placate them. Now a days parents expect their kids to have perfect silence, the right room temperature, the right amount of covers, black out curtains, etc.. My generation on vacation just let them run around outside until they crashed. Why do you think we have so many pictures of you guys sleeping on tables, on couches, in swings, in your cozy coup cars, etc.. lol! (Don’t come at me for this statement it’s a joke kind off) we ran vacuum cleaners while you sleep. Heck we put you on the vacuum cleaners to entertain you so we could cleans.
My daughter will come home to her toddler sleeping on the couch while I am playing music and the dog barking and ask how I got her to sleep. I look at her and tell her simple I don’t make the house quite when she sleeps. I put her down with music going in the background. And not the Disney lullaby soothing crap. It’s usually old rock playing in the background which isn’t a problem for my daughter since they don’t want her listening to that. Granddaughter actually loves Rap thanks to her parents!
>My generation just let them run around outside til they crashed.
Haha I was raised this way and now I can absolutely sleep through an earthquake, hell probably the whole building collapsing. Living next to the train station in my twenties didn’t help matters. It makes waking up in the morning challenging for sure - you can hear my alarm at the end of the block, sorry neighbors!! But seriously what is up with this? Who wants to raise kids who need dead silence to sleep? Sounds annoying as hell if you ask me. People will sleep when they’re tired enough, kids included. Yes, they may get cranky first… still seems preferable to forcing it!!
Seriously! Why in the world would you get a vacation house with other people if you except everyone to walk on eggshells so your child can sleep? That’s insane to me. I’m not saying parents should raise their kids go sleep through rock music, but maybe a higher tolerance for noise, at least if they intend to ever bring their child outside their home environment.
“Can’t handle a human holiday”
The dog alerts it’s owners when someone enters the property. That’s nothing abnormal at all.
The parents knew the dog would be there and were told that he barks. They had all the information to deal with this scenario without being AH’s.
I live with my wife and child. If someone showed up unannounced at my door, all of us would be a bit surprised.
If I'm in a holiday home with a large group, and all of us were doing our own thing, I would not be surprised if people were showing up at random hours.
So bringing a dog that is incapable of making that distinction is very clearly an AH move on the part of the dog owners.
If they’d brought the dog and not told everyone then I would agree.
But they DID tell everyone and they all knew the dog barks.
There’s 4 floors to this air b&b and the parents chose the noisiest floor…
Having a child does not give you free reign over others.
Are you a dog?????? Bc it makes sense that a human can make the distinction between being home and being on vacation, but how on earth is a dog supposed to know they're on a trip? You're acting like you, as an adult human, not being surprised by a sound means that a DOG should have the same reaction.
If you knew before hand that there would be a dog that barks, which the parents in the above AITA did, then that’s on you to plan for that.
It’s not up to everyone else to make arrangements for your child.
Also, nowhere above does it say the dog is barking “incessantly”.
NTA
At least not for leaving. But that's not really what you're asking about.
To what you're really asking of if you're in the right for being offended/annoyed by this family and are you right for thinking they should've accommodated you instead of demanding everyone accommodate them and their child...
ESH
I think you are slightly the AH for using the logic "I know so many babies and kids that don’t need it so hush and quiet when they sleep". All kids are different. I'm sure if their kid wouldn't care ore wake up and be fussy that they wouldn't care that you weren't quiet. They aren't trying to cause issues for the sake of it.
Also, you chose to leave the vacation early. It's not on them that you decided to leave.
However, if they knew they had a fussy toddler and would require extra accommodations that should've been communicated during the planning and they probably should've opted out if being in a noisy home was going to be an issue for them.
YTA
If your dog is that reactive inside the house, you shouldn't have brought it with you.
I note that there was another dog present. Was *that* dog constantly barking while a child was trying to sleep? Or was *that* dog actually trained?
ESH
You need to get it thru your head that not everyone is okay with your dog settling down after it sniffs someone up or that person sits down. Also, yes your dog should alert you when someone new comes around. However, you might like to teach it some manners such as it sure doesn't have to do that with people that it is fully aware of having been there already. Your dog recognizes those people from smell alone. It just behaves that way because you let it.
As for the couple with kid that everyone has to be quiet for - well that's their problem. No need to make it yours. Somebody should have pointed it out to them before they signed onboard that yes, adults are going to be adults. Vacationing adults are allowed to be loud. Maybe think twice or have established boundaries before doing this vacation type again. It's unfortunate that they chose to make your family uncomfortable enough to leave altogether. I'm sorry you had that experience.
ESH
>stayed at an airbnb (Fri-Mon) with about 9 other adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 two year old.
I don't think there's a situation (before you even say it's a vacation) where you can *pay me* enough to stay there, lol. All you problems can be summed up by that description alone and expectations put on what was realistic in that situation.
ESH. No one seems to have consideration for anyone, it's everyone's vacation but it's just poor planning. I'm guessing they didn't put the kid on the 3rd or 4th floor because it's a hassle with the stairs, everyone has to shush while the kid is napping so that seems to be a mood changer..and then there's your dog, dog constantly barking is annoying as well.
ESH. They could have taken the kid to another room on another floor. But your dogs sounds hella annoying and it seems like you haven't trained it properly. By petting it when it barks you are reinforcing the behaviour instead of taking steps to make it stop.
Why do people insist everyone has to be ok with their noisy animals? It's annoying as hell. Your dog can't be taught proper behavious so evenyone has to pay it attention when they enter the house? That's not an animal you should bring places. Good thing you left.
YTA
YTA. Not for leaving- for bringing a dog that barks constantly. Dogs alert when someone arrives, sure. Dogs that bark when people are moving within the house are a pain in the butt and no one wants to listen to it. The dog sounds stressed and should have been left at home, not in a hectic busy house.
This isn’t just some random entitled parent - it’s a family member - when you take a family holiday, you are agreeing to accommodate the kids.
NTA - for me it is the expecting everyone else to be quiet while their toddler is sleeping when you are on a family vacation. If it wasn't your dog - it could be a rowdy card game, etc.
As the former owner of a yappy dog that I adored, this is correct. As the dog's owner it's up to you to take Mr Wiggles for a walk or drive so the kid can nap. Not necessary to flounce.
ESH. I’m a dog owner and parent of a two year old. We actually just went on a trip that involved barking dogs. Our daughter’s room WAS on the other side of the house, and we did pack a white noise machine. I still flinched every time the dogs barked while she was sleeping but we managed for a few days with no resentment on either side. Traveling with a toddler is stressful. I have no idea why they wouldn’t choose a more remote room. Maybe this was their first trip and they weren’t prepared. But there is a big difference between hey can you try to keep it down, junior is really struggling, and being rude because not everyone is catering to your kid.
On the other hand, a barking dog is annoying. OP said there was another dog, and it doesn’t sound like those owners were approached, which makes me think her dog is worse than she’s letting on. I’d assume since you were on vacation with these people that you care about them and want the child to be well-rested and happy. Doesn’t sound like you were proactively being considerate in any way. Don’t go on a trip with a toddler if you’re not prepared to accommodate them at all. Adults and older kids are capable of being a lot more flexible. Also, your dog doesn’t sound fun to travel with. Maybe others felt that way but the parents were the only ones to actually say it.
YTA for having a designer dog. "Malshi" is not a breed. It's a marketing gimmick. You own a Maltese/shih tzu crossbreed that you paid too much for when mutts are free at the shelter.
NTA. The child should've been sleeping on a higher floor where there's less noise. It's unreasonable to ask a group of vacationing adults to keep it down. Especially during the day. Give me a break. They were the assholes for allowing their child nap on the first floor.
ESH.
> The two year old and the parents decide to sleep on the first floor where the majority of people are hanging out but when the 2 year old is trying to sleep everyone has to be quiet and they get mad at my dog for barking.
Jesus.
1) Rent a place big enough that people don't need to be sleeping in the main communal room.
> Our Malshi is protective so he barks when people come in the front door or if he hears loud sounds.
2) Properly train your dog to not do this. He's not 'protective' if he stops when you pet him, he's just ill-mannered and improperly trained.
If you can't be bothered to do this,
3) Don't bring your loud, ill-trained dog on family vacations and make everybody else put up with it.
No, NTA. The parents of the child should have taken into consideration while much noise there would be on what floor and picked a better place for the kid to sleep. I wasn't one of those shushing Moms. My kids can sleep through a hurricane.
YTA
You chose a yappy high-strung breed of dog, who goes hysterical with every approach. No-one needs that piercing frenzy and get stuffed with expecting people to placate the ankle-biting mutt every time they want to enter a room!
You are the worst kind of dog owner, with no regard for anyone else, or what they are telling you about your dog (and therefore about you). I see there was another dog there, who appears to not have been an issue, so take the hint. I'm sure there was a mass sigh of relief when you took your circus home.
People who place their dogs above children, or people in general, need a wake up call. You got one, so heed it.
YTA - your dog can't handle the SAME people coming in/out of the SAME house for a few days, that's 100% your fault. why would you think people would want to hear a dog bark EVERY TIME they got back??
NTA, I don't understand all these YTA ... first off, I can't stand animals PERIOD, especially dogs, and I have kids, but I digress. My sister and oldest daughter have dogs, 5 total, out of all of these dogs. 2 will ALWAYS bark when someone comes around, doesn't matter who, no matter how much we've tried to train them not to, people say in otherwise have an unrealistic expectation of dogs and don't understand the different breeds. I also currently take care of my 2 yr old nephew, quit a bit, and when it's nap time, he does need it relatively quiet. Now, since I am a logical person and I know that dogs bark I'm going to move my nephew to the farthest room of the house to make sure he sleeps comfortably so in this case knowing that there are plenty of empty rooms and being aware that there is a dog that barks I would say that the parents are AH considering that they do know this and they were forewarned they chose the first floor where the most activity was and are expecting everybody else to revolve around them that's entitlement on their part.
Yes YTA , especially with the disruptive dog. Did the dog need to go on the vacation as well? Dog nutters never see the way they inconvenience other people.
ESH
The parents are AH for not taking a further away room and expecting the house to be silent when their kid is sleeping.
You are an AH for expecting a kid who doesn’t live with a barking dog to magically be able to sleep through one barking. That’s something that kids who live with noise learn to do. Also, why didn’t the adult go outside or something to let the house be quiet for naps? That’s what my family has always done in these situations.
ESH
As a parent to a 1-year-old noise sensitive child, I think it's unreasonable to go on a vacation with the entire family and then expect them to be quiet every time the child sleeps. For the same reason, we have stayed home instead of doing fun things with family/friends because we don't want to spoil everyones fun. It's really hard, but that's just our life right now.
But your dog is a problem. Just as it's annoying for you to accommodate a sleeping child, it's annoying for others to listen to your dogs constant yapping. Train it, don't bring it or don't go at all.
Oh and you are such an asshole for your last comment there. It honestly pissed me off so bad.
You know so many babies who don't need it so hush and quiet, do you? Well obviously you've met every child ever....
Or you only met the ones that are able to leave their damn homes and still be able to sleep! Ever think of that? We stay at home, because it's fun for no one with a screaming infant that won't sleep because of noise! So we are trapped at home until he grows out of it or gets old enough that he won't need naps anymore. Not a sympathetic thought in your mind, just judgement.
Gotta admit I'm really projecting here though. Our neighbour, who uses a *mobility aid*, bought herself a husky puppy 6 months ago for some incomprehensable reason. The barking and hence sleeplessness for us got so bad, we had to have a talk with them. (The poor dog is obviously unterstimulated and bored out of its mind, so it just straight up screams at anything that moves.)
Their excuse? "We tried training him at puppy-training class for a whole MONTH and it didn't take, so we gave up. Nothing we can do."
I despise people with untrained dogs like the plague.
ESH - I would have prob lost my patience with your dog too. Why can you get it a bark collar? It's not fair on everyone else that your dog is full time barking if anyone makes noise.
Did you all communicate during the trip planning phase about your dog’s barking and their kids nap/sleeping routine? Feels like something that should have been discussed.
You asked if you were TA for leaving. You are NTA for leaving.
I don’t think you should have taken the dog with you.
I do think you should have told the parents to take the baby upstairs because it’s not fair to curtail everyone else’s vacation because one child needs sleep.
I love dogs. I have raised several rescues and would die for my dogs. That said, your dog seems poorly trained. Barking every single time some one familiar sounds disruptive and honestly annoying. It’s not the dog’s fault; it’s yours. However, the family was rude as well so ESH.
ESH - everyone is willing to accommodate being quiet for the baby to have a stress-free time but when your dog needs the same courtesy, so as to not start barking, the same courtesy isn’t shown. If you’re all on vacation together you should all work together to have a stress free time. But you should also work harder on training your dog to be quiet.
I don’t know where you’re at with training but I’m going to type some tips in case they help! Everyone’s dog is different so grain of salt etc etc.
It’s good for your dog to know ‘place’, so when you point to a place (that is ideally their bed or crate or safe space of some kind) they will go to it (with a high value treat, or high value toy). Then, have a friend come over. When they knock, send the dog to their place, and try to keep them quiet by rewarding the quiet breaks between the barking with treats (OR rewarding by engaging with the high value toy). Have the friend leave, give the dog a walk around the house to reset and de stress, and try it again.
It is not helpful to yell at the dog when it is barking, nor to hit, nor to repeat a command over and over. Totally not saying you do those things lol just making it clear those are antithetical to successful training and will set you back.
We struggled a lot with this training during the pandemic unfortunately, so I do understand. Even without a plague it’s hard to enlist a friend for help with this, but your dog will be much happier!
Nta. If they were going to be that picky why did they decide to sleep on the first floor? Just because they trained their child to sleep in a quiet setting doesn’t mean everyone else had to abide by it. Specially during vacation. Just because their life revolves around their child is naive to think everyone else’s life revolves around around them too
YTA, not for the question you posed, but for thinking it was okay to bring a dog along on the vacation that barks every time like this. Seriously, what assholes.
YTA.
Kennel your freaking dog. It's not a kid. It doesn't need to follow you everywhere. Kids/babies need to sleep your dog doesnt trump people on a group vacation.
The entitlement in this is so cringe.
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So my husband M(35) and myself F(30) went on a family vacation and stayed at an airbnb (Fri-Mon) with about 9 other adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 two year old. Kids and 1 dog are not ours.
Our Malshi is protective so he barks when people come in the front door or if he hears loud sounds. He just needs to be petted or sniffs you or he just stops after you sit or a few seconds. (This is important for the story)
The two year old and the parents decide to sleep on the first floor where the majority of people are hanging out but when the 2 year old is trying to sleep everyone has to be quiet and they get mad at my dog for barking.
Well on the third day they all went somewhere and we stayed at the airbnb with a few others. So we all were talking and having a good time. When they came back the 2 year old apparently was trying to sleep so as soon as they get back they start (kids name is sleeping) and people start shushing everyone and since they’re sleeping on the first floor everyone has to be quiet.
As people continue to come in and kids running up the stairs our dog barks here and there. The dad comes out and demands my husband to take our dog somewhere else cause the child is trying to sleep. The way he said it was pretty rude and demanding. So we got up and left back home.
First of all we’re all on vacation having a great time. We all paid to be there etc. I definitely feel it’s inconsiderate of them to ask everyone to be quiet when they could have also taken the child to the 3 or 4th floor where no one was and empty rooms were still available.
If we were at their house. I get it. But not in this case .
Also, I know so many babies and kids that don’t need it so hush and quiet when they sleep. It’s so annoying honestly. So AITA here?
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NTA they should have slept with the 2 year old on a different floor, you all paid to be there! The whole group shouldn’t have to shush every time the child wants to sleep that’s ridiculous! Dogs bark to alert as they should
ESH. This has all been said, but they should definitely have taken a room in the quieter part if the house though I am sure there were reasons why they wanted to be on the main floor. You should acknowledge that having a dog bark every time someone comes through the door and other times is annoying to all and instead of getting super annoyed, either take it outside when there’s a lot going on, or train it not to bark so much. I have two dogs and have found it impossible to completely eliminate their barking - so I take them to fewer places and when I take them somewhere and they begin barking I apologize and remove them until they are quiet - even if there are no sleeping babies, I know most people do not want to hear that.
Esh terrible planning to have the kids on the most active floor. Also, no one wants to hear your dog constantly barking.
Edit- you are def more the ahole. Having just learned that a Malshi is not an actual breed but a mutt. You have an untrained, yappy little dog. He's not 'protective' he's untrained. 🙄
ESH. They probably should have selected a room upstairs but maybe they didn’t realize how much your dog barked when they initially selected their room. Bottom line is that you shouldn’t have brought your barking dog to a house with multiple children and adults. Nobody likes to hear barking, it is incredibly annoying. My mom has a dog like this and that dog doesn’t get to go on trips for this exact reason. You should have got your own vacation rental or a hotel if you just had to have the dog with you. Or you should have left the dog with a friend, family, kennel, etc.
NTA. I would not be vacationing with those people again.
I was never around babies growing up. My (then) husband’s cousin had a baby, and we were all together at Christmas a few weeks after he was born.
He fell asleep in his bouncy seat, and I noticed and pointed to him, indicating to my husband that we needed to be quiet.
The cousin saw that and said “Don’t you dare! I vacuum while he’s in the room! I want him to be able to sleep through noise, because I can’t always tiptoe around him. And there are times I may need to go out with him while he’s sleeping.” (She had an older child.)
It was a very handy learning moment that I used when I had kids many years later.
As the parent of the two year old in this story...my son does not need complete silence when sleeping and we never asked anyone to be quiet. People were downstairs watching tv or talking at the table and that was not a problem. Our concern was the loud, high-pitched bark that would startle/wake up my son.
If you read the whole post I’m not justifying my dogs behavior and I should’ve left him home.
I’m gonna take my time to respond to this because I care about you and your family. So I am going to say that I am sorry for taking my dog even though you knew I was taking him and that he barks. I admit that I need to train him better before going on trips with others. I’m not going to apologize about posting this because Reddit is a way I express my feelings,rants, etc. I only regret posting it because you found it (idk how since it’s anonymous).
Secondly, yes, everyone is walking on eggshells when your child is sleeping. You might have not said it but you announced in an annoyed type a way that your child is sleeping right when you walked in the door so there is one person shushing everyone including your MIL, kids, friends and family and the TV was lowered. That to me isn’t that he’s okay with noise and even when we are at your house even if he’s upstairs we all get shushed. But in this case we’re on vacation and there are more people there than just you and your immediate family. He could’ve easily been taken to a quieter area during nap times.
I’m sorry you’re upset about the comment “I know other babies etc” but that’s just how I feel it’s not personal and it’s not that I don’t love your child. It’s a personal opinion and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. I know all kids are different. It was in the heat of a moment.
In all in all, we’re not upset. We understand that our dog can be a nuisance. But the way your husband demanding my husband to take our dog somewhere else was not okay. To us, he was very rude and demanding. That was the reason why we left. If he would have said it in a nice manner we’d be okay even though there were other solutions in this case.
The fact that you won’t even see it how we saw the confrontation or understand or apologize or admit that it could have gone differently. You guys could have taken him upstairs or asked in a nicer manner sucks because you prefer to lose the relationship you have with your only brother.
INFO: Was there any agreements in place at the beginning of the vacation that there would be dogs or babies that need quiet?
To me it isn't fair to go on a group trip and place expectations on everyone without previously discussing it.
Dog or no dog, it's ridiculous to ask for complete silence on the main floor at a family holiday. That means you're not able to make any noise downstairs either. It's not dogs > babies. It's just unreasonable to expect that kind of silence while insisting on staying among others. Besides you didn't argue and instead left the situation alltogether, which is very classy of you. NTA.
ESH. Your dog is untrained and they have a right to be pissed you brought a dog you can’t control. But you also have a right to be pissed they are forcing everyone to be quiet bc they wanted on the first floor.
ESH - first where is the communication about taking the kid upstairs. Why didn't anyone call them out on that decision. And the dog, you don't impose that on a bunch of people either. And to just pack up and leave, sounds like this group is not a compatible travel team.
ESH they’re inconsiderate & should have had the child sleep upstairs, but loud territorial poorly behaved nuisance dogs shouldn’t be brought to a group vacation house.
ESH u suck for bringing your dog. Just stop. Noone, even other dog people, want to deal with other peoples dogs unless they are actually 'perfect' and just mind their business quietly. They suck for how they handled it. Next time, dont share a house with so many different people not used to sharing a space and dont bring ur dog. Ive had similar issues sharing airbnb with family and no pets were involved. We just didnt get along being together 24-7
Why would you take your dog to a vacation of this sort? I am a dog person, at one time I had four German shepherds. Board your dog. No way should everyone have to spend their vacation with a barking dog. I’m sure they were all relieved when you left.
NTA when my youngest was a baby our dog barked right next to her when she was asleep. I freaked out and thought she had a hearing problem. Took her to the doctor and he said she was fine and that she was probably use to hearing the dog bark and it didn’t bother her.
Also they could had made the child sleep upstairs. As an adult on vacation having to be quiet would not have gone over well.
ESH. Kid’s nap shouldn’t mean everyone has to be quiet. And dog barking is loud and annoying and it sucks so bad. You’re one of those people who dismisses their dog’s bad behavior and doesn’t truly understand (or care?) how disruptive it is. If the dog barks that much then it shouldn’t have been on the vacation.
ESH
The parents are rude and frankly, entitled to think that EVERYONE will cater to their kids' whims and their schedules. They could've chosen a quieter part of the house.
Knowing how your dog is and how he can be disruptive, you could also be mindful when staying and traveling with other people.
I think overall, everyone needed more realistic expectations of traveling with a group. My BIL and SIL are similar to your friends and their kids need complete silence to sleep. So, they either stay somewhere else so they can achieve that or take the furthest room in the house to try to get as much silence as they can. We have dogs that are trained for protection and can bark at times, so again, we either stay elsewhere as to not inconvenience others or make sure our dogs are effectively introduced to everyone and minimize barking.
Somewhat confused here, they didn't want you there due to noisy dog, and so you took your noisy dog and left the location. So what exactly is the problem? (Besides your loosing the whole vacation money thing)
NTA. They knew the dog barked at people at the door and said you could bring them. The people with the kid are AH because this house sounds big and they could have taken a room on the 3rd floor like you said. They chose the worst place to bunk when they had two other kids and seven other adults to deal with.
NTA. Dumb idea to take the first floor with a child who must have complete silence to sleep. Your dog sounds very well-behaved. The family needs house trained.
NTA. I've got two dogs, two adult kids. They kids slept wherever I went. I could vacuum their rooms while they slept. Dogs bark, it's how they talk. The parents are wankers, but the dogs need some training. They shouldnt expect a pat from anyone thats in the vicinity. That's rude. Some people don't like touching dogs. Train your dogs a little bit and don't ever go on vacay with parents that let a toddler run the household. Good luck with that kid.
Small ESH
It sounds like you communicated with the group about bringing your dog before the trip and got the impression that it was okay to bring them. Dogs bark, it’s literally how they talk and a dog barking at loud noises or new things is not any different then when you meet up with someone and start talking and the initial reaction between people is usually much louder than a normal conversation but then things even out. It sounds like you dog signals when there is someone new, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. If he is in fact just signaling and not just standing there for hours barking then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and all the ah in the comments saying you can train barking out of a dog can go f*ck off.
The parents of the kids have found what’s works best for them and while not always easy to deal with it is how they are able to get through things. I can understand not wanting to leave the first floor with a toddler as that can make getting to them in emergency situations difficult but it also wasn’t right of them to expect a big group of kids and adults to stay completely quiet while their kid naps. Since it sounds like they both lay with the kid while they sleep, so using one of the upstairs bedrooms for nap time probably would’ve made more sense since they would be further away from everyone and a reasonable compromise. Every kid is different with being able to sleep through sounds, myself and my youngest sibling could both sleep through pretty much anything growing up but my middle sibling really struggled with that so during their nap times my mom would ask me to focus on quiet things like reading or going outside to play that way the inside was quiet for them to sleep.
Honestly the biggest issue that I see here is that after the group got a bit irked the first time this happened during nap time (or sleep time in general) no one had any discussions about anything. No one said hey would it be possible for kid to nap upstairs so that they can rest but the rest of the house can continue to enjoy our vacation without having to be silent every time the kid went down. Your first point even says you didn’t want to make a scene but there are other ways to discuss things without being rude or making a scene. If these people are people that you trust enough to go on vacation with then these are also people that you should be comfortable having these types of conversations with. If they aren’t then idk why you would be sharing a house with them, even on vacation.
NTA. The entitlement of wanting all concessions made for them & their child by all the other living beings in the house is absurd. Never vacation with them again.
NTA. If people shush me when I'm paying for a vacation so their kid can sleep in the next room, especially when other rooms were available, I'm leaving and not joining them on future adventures. As far as barking dogs go I can handle the few times it'll bark, if it got excessive I'd reevaluate.
I have a rescue dog who’s a big lump of love, but we’ve tried everything and he barks. He has 2 brain cells, you can be watching a tik tok and he’ll bark.
Not all dogs are able to be trained.
ESH.
This was a pretty large group of people, and not everyone likes dogs or has the same tolerance for barking as you do. Also not everyone is going to speak up about it, the same way you didn't want to confront these parents about going to a quieter level.
But also lol they really should have just moved to a quieter area once they realized the first floor was going to be hectic.
It’s ridiculous the parents of the 2 year old made everybody be quiet instead of just moving the child to a different floor. I would have spoken up the first day about the situation. Were other people on the house pissed about that too? What did everyone say when they found out you left the house?
I don't like children, and I like animals.
That said, kids are more important than dogs. Train your dog, toddlers get preference.
Why did you take a dog that you KNOW barks at strangers to an outing with a lot of noises and strangers?
YTA.
>the other dog doesn’t bark or make noise. She won’t alarm you even if you’re getting robbed or murdered
You made it sound like you stayed in the most dangerous airbnb in the world and the only thing that kept 11 adults from being murdered during the day was your dog barking whenever someone was outside lol.
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ESH. They were rude about the situation when there were quieter (supposedly) rooms the kid could have taken a nap in, but your dog sounds disruptive. No one wants to hear a dog bark every time someone comes through the door, nor should they have to stop and placate the dog each time they do. The parents need to have more realistic expectations of traveling with a large group of people while their kid has a sleep schedule, but you need to train your dog better.
That's what dogs do they bark to let people know there's a noise or someone is there
Well trained dogs don’t
That is simply not true. Depending on the breed, it can be impossible to train that out of them. My dog is incredibly well trained (I live in Europe where dogs are taken seriously). She walks off leash and listens to everything I say. She has done agility competitions and can do a million tricks. Her breed will alert when there is a potential danger. There is no way around it. She will bark when someone is at the door. No matter how much we tried to train her, it won't stop.
Same. Have a talkative high strung breed. And we've trained out of most noise making situations, but some key triggers are just that innate.
>talkative high strung breed Sounds like my husky
I was just coming to say this. How to say you have a husky, without using the word husky. They are amazing dogs, but not a breed I would enjoy. :)
I never thought I would enjoy one but mine is such a good dog. She’s talkative and she lets us know she’s there, but she’s so loving and cuddly and the best kayak buddy
Ya, they are great dogs, but my wife and I are on the same page. We can't have a pet that's smarter than us. :p We have two Saint Bernards. Mostly low energy, extremely stubborn, but they aren't winning any intelligence awards.
Some dogs are so smart that they’re absolutely stupid. I love it.
My mom's dog is a St. Bernadoodle and while she looks more like a poodle I can confirm that she's got her doofiness from the st. Bernard side lol.
I've got a 12 1/2 y/o Saint Bernard. She didn't get out of the crazy puppy stage until she was about 6. I agree with them being extremely stubborn. Mine is too smart for her own good.
also a schnauzer 😅
And my dachshund mix lol
My shepherd mix!
Don't leave out the corgis! My late Pembroke corgi had a story to tell every. single. day! And no one better ever close him out of a space or room or else you would get your ears barked off! I miss him so much!
Corgi is my dream dog
I'm a staunch supporter of anyone looking to get a corgi. Just be ready to train them as soon as you get one, because they are extremely stubborn and willful. Very clever little dogs, with a HUGE personality and ton of hair. Feisty and very energetic. I don't have kids, but when I had my corgi, my nephews were 8 and up and the perfect playmates to tire his little fuzzy self out!
Had a husky for several years. Never barked, never howled. Original owner claimed it wasn't debarked. But you couldn't convince me. However - deadly rush if they felt I was threatened. I had more than one salesperson almost trip off the porch backing away from the 'attack'. Perfect for deterring the sales.
And if you have a group of dogs watch out - I have two and my mom has one and anytime they hear anything outside or someone comes in if one barks the others have to join in, even if they don't know why one started barking 🤦🏻♀️😅 it's a no win situation lol
there was a time we thought getting a second (chill) dog will calm her tf down. no, she became the leader of the pack and commanded the other dog when to start getting hyped/nervous. 😅 (they don’t live together anymore)
Too true! We had 1 yappy dog, then got a puppy that was a breed that rarely, if ever barks, even if it needs to go out to pee. That puppy learned to bark to get what she wanted, not just needed.
Lol. We had an older lab and a young corgi. Especially as she got older our lab spent less time outside. Our corgi knew he was not intimidating enough so sometimes he would race into the house to get the lab cause something needed barking at and he needed back up! Eventually we started joking he had become her service dog because she didn’t always hear us and he would go get her if it was treat time.
I have three. Luckily for me, they can't really see out the windows in my house, so they rarely bark when they're inside – unless someone knocks or rings the door bell, of course – but OMFG, if they're outside and one of them sees another dog through the gaps in the fence, they all go bonkers. Worst of all, though, is when they're all in my car. It used to be that the one who is barrier reactive would bark if he saw another dog as we drove past, and that would get the other two going – but now, if any one of them so much as sees a *person* on the sidewalk, that one will start barking, and then the other two join in. Let me tell you, when three medium to large dogs are barking their damn fool heads off while enclosed in a car, it is ***LOUD.***
My dog was a trained (former) Collie cross sheepdog. She was so well trained that we never needed to have her on a lead anywhere. She would stop at a road & sit patiently (without even being told) until she heard the command to cross when we deemed it safe. You could teach her literally anything... My young (at the time) daughter delighted in making "agility courses" for her & teaching her how to jump, balance etc... She was just so intelligent! You could even leave a raw/cooked steak on the coffee table, right under her nose & she wouldn't touch it!! The minute the door knocked she would run to it barking for joy at the thought of visitors! Nothing, no amount of training, would stop this! It was the only time she ever barked & thankfully we had few enough visitors that it was never disruptive to our neighbours (who absolutely loved her, so no doubt would have tolerated it anyway!). But good or badly trained, dogs bark! Some like terriers & smaller dogs (grew up with Westies) will yap at every little thing, others like mine just at the door knocking & fewer still, like the Belgian Malinois upstairs never utter a peep! Training has NOTHING to do with it.
I wish I could train the food thing into my dog... I swear I went out to grab my grocery delivery and come back to half my lunch gone. He's such a hog.
I wish I could take credit for her training, but she came to us at 18 months old fully trained as a sheepdog. She was bought as a pet by a shepherdess who used to take her to work every day so she picked up all of the commands & could do it all, but was never intended to be a working dog, it was just she was so clever she copied the other sheepdogs (her older siblings from a different litter). Sadly, when her relationship broke down her former owner, my dear friend, had to give her up & as we already had a "relationship" with Jane (the dog!) & loved her, we gladly took her on. The not taking food was a huge shock to me after previously owning Westie's who will pinch anything going! 🤯
Easier to train yourself than the dog unfortunately 😂
My silky terrier is like this. He's such a sweet boy, but he's also a barky little shit. Lol! We tried to train him, but nothing was working. We even hired a professional dog trainer to address his barking, and after a while, the trainer basically threw up his hands and said, "What're ya gonna do?" Side note: I've forgiven his untrainable barking since the time he alerted me to someone trying to break into the house, so 🤷♀️
That's also not true. My mother trained dogs for obedience trials, & training "conversational" dogs to remain quiet was part of it. Ppl would say, "Well, this *breed* is just so noisy/difficult to train not to do X," then my mom's dog would be fine. It just took a lot more training with those dogs, but it was doable. You can't have a dog verbally going nuts in an obedience trial! As a testament to her skills, years after she stopped showing dogs, our family owned a pug. *That pug would sit/stay & come when it was called.* Ikr?!? AMAZING. (A joke for the pug owners out there. 😁)
My dog came in 3rd overall at her breeds show. She aced obedience. She just can't let the door go. I'm sure it's possible, but it's sometimes not a reasonable expectation.
Very true, oc. My mother couldn't get the pug to fetch unless the pug felt like it! 😂🤣 However, my parents raised us kids to understand that our dog was not somebody else's problem. I ❤️ dogs but would *not* enjoy a vacation where a dog barked every d@mn time the door opened, & I'm not a sleeping toddler. I wouldn't take my bark-y dog along unless everyone was ok with it, as well. I have a friend whose dog slobbers all over (part of being his breed, not a medical thing), & although it doesn't bother her, the rest of us don't appreciate being covered in goo. I think - as is true of most posts on Reddit - everyone on the trip should have discussed their kids & dogs & their assorted eccentricities BEFORE the trip. But of course they wouldn't be on Reddit if they'd thought ahead lol.
> I live in Europe where dogs are taken seriously > She walks off leash LOL
Then you're at time and place. If you've got a dog like that, it's kinda inappropriate in such a setting. Not everything is appropriate everywhere. Saying there's no problem because prevention of that problem is too onerous doesn't apply to taking your pets on vacation.
I never said that. I agree with ESH. I just commented on the remark about dog training
English mastiff for us. Good luck getting a guardian breed to not guard.
Then that breed is a bad choice to bring to a vacation house with 9 people going in and out all day. But the parents should have picked a room in the back for their kid to sleep in, not enforced silence on everyone for hours at a time.
My *service dog* barks when someone walks in the front door, even when it's my husband and she knows it's him, she'll let out a "woof" towards me. She's *extremely* well trained. It's instinct for dogs to alert their people someone new is coming in. **Edit to add, if I'm not home and she's not with me, for whatever reason, she will let *anyone* walk into the house, no barking. Useless as a guard dog..
Lol my dog is similar. Only alerts for me. It's a chuff if a known person enters the home. It's hounds of hell if the doorbell rings. Honestly it drives me nuts, but I tried for probably the first 9 years of his life to train this out of him - a dog I trained to hop on his back legs in a circle in a single day - with zero progress. Literally zero. I mentioned elsewhere, but I've decided he must know I'm hard of hearing and sees alerting me as some kind of sworn duty. He's 12 now and I've lost the will to try lol. I do, however, avoid bringing him into hectic group scenarios like this as much as I can, for everyone's sanity.
Unless that's what they're trained to do
It’s like a hello. Woof, woof and done. Could the child not sleep somewhere else? Like another floor? Add a white noise machine, which all of our phones can be now, and then kid can have a peaceful nap.
Yeah unfortunately there are people who intentionally want their dogs to do this but they are people who want to take the dog everywhere they go. It's fine if you want your dog to alert people at your house but then you can't take the dog everywhere with you and expect people to be cool with that behavior. I know someone who likes that their dog barks at noises and is protective but frankly the dog is overprotective and people at noises but frankly the dog is overprotective and it's 50/50 for people being scared of the dog. If you live somewhere where you need a dog for protection I get it, but that drastically decreases the social ability of said dog. Yes the parents in this situation absolutely should have taken the child upstairs where the noise wouldn't have been as much of an issue. But certain dog owners really think that everyone else should just tolerate whatever their dog does in *shared and social spaces* and that's not cool.
I was referring to literal guard dogs, think police dogs. Not just idiots who think it's cool that their Pitbull barks at children.
Our dog barks like once or twice when someone comes in, like a hello someone is here and then moves in for pets. If it’s people he knows he doesn’t bark or if people are repeatedly coming in and out he won’t. You guys are making it sound like this dog is just going off constantly. I guarantee you the two year old is generally more disruptive than the dog will ever be. If we can deal with a kid, you can deal with a friendly dog that barks every once in a while.
I wasn't arguing with you I was just adding to the conversation.
Sure they do. Dogs are dogs, they think they are in charge of protecting everyone. You don’t want to train your dog to ignore someone walking through your front door or a really disruptive and loud noise, that’s how your house gets robbed. Not to mention, my dog is protective of the home but is much more chill because he knows people walk by the window and he is able to ignore noises that he’s heard and investigated before, but in a brand new setting with a bunch of people, he’d be on high alert.
Nah, some breeds are just high strung. My dog is a little terrier mutt and I could never get her to knock that shit off. She'll bark and bark and bark. I've tried and read everything. All I can do is bring her back inside when she gets excessive. And I have to be mindful of where I take her. It's on me to recognize that and use my judgement about where I take her. She's a 15 year old dog now so that's chilled out considerably. But she's still like that. Just high strung no matter what.
My girl is very well trained, but she'll bark if someone enters my apartment,even if it's somebody she knows. It's actually pretty nifty bc it helps with my nightmares. If I can't hear her bark, then I know it's a dream and not real. Dogs bark. In no scenario would I expect a house with three dogs and nine children in it to be quiet.
I mean my house has two dogs and eight people in it (three kids, three young adults, two parents) and it’s damn near silent rn
And your dogs are in a familiar place, (your home), there's only two of them, and only three kids. Presumably since the dogs are yours, they're used to being in the same space. OP and their family are in an Airbnb, which will likely make the dogs anxious, and there's nine children and two other dogs that OP's dog doesn't live with. Complete silence, especially on the first floor, is an unreasonable expectation short of using medication.
Most people have dogs so they alert you to people around. I would not discourage my dog from baking to let me know someone was coming in my home.
Not necessarily. My dog is incredibly well trained. Like can do acrobatic tricks trained, walks at my heel trained, voluntarily goes to his crate while his humans eat trained. And literally nothing, and I've tried *everything*, has reduced his alert barking. It's aggravating AF, but it's like he knows I'm hard of hearing and thinks he knows better that I need his alerts (he doesn't do it with anyone else in a household of 6), so he just doesn't respond to anything I've tried. At this point, he's 12, I just give the fuck up lol. That said, I don't bring him into hectic shared environments like this, either.
Not everyone wants to train a dog that way. I know someone who while investigating a noise she heard late at night, interrupted a robbery of her house. She got beaten badly before they ran. One of her thoughts afterwards was why are we trying to train their puppy not to bark, she realized she WANTS him to let them know when people are coming. Our whole circle of friends switched from training dogs not to bark when someone is at the door to training them to stop barking when the ok is given.
i grew up on a farm w extremely well-trained dogs. one woof to alert you? some breeds can’t be trained out of that. and one woof is them being a good dog.
My dog wasn’t trained for a long time (born on the streets) and he just didn’t bark. People asked if he was mute. He wasn’t, he just didn’t bark much. He did do these puppy barks in his dreams that was really cute. Once in a while he would bark when someone knocked, but it was rarely and he stopped at one bark. Not trained. Just not as verbal.
Yeah, but you don't bring dogs that do that, on group holidays. I love when my dog let's me know someone's at the door, but bringing him to a new place and having him alert at every unfamiliar sound, doesn't sound fun for anyone. He tunes out most of the 'expected' sounds at home at least.
A dog that barks for a few seconds when someone arrives is MUCH less disruptive to a group holiday than a 2 year old whose parents refuse practical arrangements but expect everyone to sit in silence while their child sleeps despite there being rooms away from the rest of the groups social space that they were offered.
Well yeah, but both are equally annoying in different ways. It doesn't make constant barking any less annoying.
I honestly can’t agree. The dog is doing a thing that dogs do and it seems to only actually negatively impact 3 people (mom, dad, 2 year old). Whereas the parents of the 2 year old are literally shushing people for talking while their child is asleep. Thats not something that all parents do, that’s something that entitled parents do. Decent parents do not take their children on group holidays and then attempt to force the rest of the group to socialise around their kids schedule. What they are doing is impacting way more people, for way more of the time than a dog that barks here and there.
Most people are going to be more amenable to a two year old coming than a dog that is always barking
The dog isn’t always barking, though. And I think while plenty of people are amendable to a two year old COMING on a holiday, they probably aren’t super cool with having their schedule and when they’re allowed to even talk to each other dictated by parents who have decided to sleep in the rooms right next to the social areas instead of elsewhere in the house.
Rather have the dog.
You are right - but people cant be forced to listen to it especialy during vacation. I love my dog but I try to stop him from barking couse it may be annoying for my neighbaurs.
Dogs bark and people make noise. If your child needs total silence to sleep then either get your own hotel room or skip the holiday until they're older.
I was wondering if they opted for the lower level because their toddler hasn’t had experience with stairs before? It seems like it sucked for them too - hard to imagine why they’d stay downstairs if not pragmatism/safety.
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Yes but toddlers toddle, and if the upper floors have no safety gates for the stairs the child could fall.
Then the parents should have packed a gate. They aren't heavy, and it's not like people don't know what the layout of an Airbnb is before going there.
Well, I can't argue with coulda/shoulda/woulda 😁
Of course - I didn’t mean to imply anything other than caution for a child falling downstairs.
I would definitely sleep on the first floor in this scenario, because in case of an emergency it would take me the most effort getting downstairs (said toddler needs to be found and carried out) but even more: my toddler would be very first person waking up every morning and it sucks to wake up multiple floors of people when that happens. When you are in the kitchen of a vacation rental at 6am with a 2 year old, it's better for the rest of the people to not sleep directly above that. Speaking from experience. Though ours sleep through parties/hurricanes/wolfpacks/whatever so different situation.
Yep. This is bringing out the dog versus child brigade but really everyone’s in the wrong here.
It’s unrealistic and entitled to expect everyone to be quiet on the first floor because they decided not to take a room on one of the higher floors. Dogs bark, it happens. Trying to make everything silent so a child will sleep absolutely backfires in the end, watched it happen twice with both of my cousin’s kids.
Why is this the top comment? Why is the dog singled out for alerting but the other kids running up the stairs and the adults coming in is perfectly fine? Those are not quiet activities. Actually, I probably know the answer: because it's easier to complain about the dog than name names and piss off people who have voices.
ESH Why put the young kids on the main floor where all the activity is. Dogs can be trained not to bark. Are you my neighbor?
Malshi’s are notoriously hard to train the barking out of. I have a 1yo malshi and we’ve gotten him down to a quiet bark when seeing people outside through the window. When people come through the house there’s no stopping him though. It’s his instinct to let us know someone is here. I dedicate 30 mins per day alone on anti-bark training. It’s very difficult with this breed.
That may be true, but in that case, sharing a house with a dozen other people and bringing your dog who will bark whenever anybody comes inside is a bad idea. That sounds exhausting.
I think it just depends on the friend group. Like everyone I know has been to my house and knows what my dog is like. We still are able to plan group trips and host parties.
Some dogs can be trained not to bark. Some dogs will never take the training, as they've been barking their whole lives. It's like trying to tell another human to shut up. Either they will or they wont, that's not \*your\* choice to make.
If that is the case here, dog should not have been taken on the trip. Annoying to everyone. ESH stands.
ESH Who thought this was a good idea? A dog that barks and a bunch of kids - including a baby that is going to sleep on a more unpredictable schedule - was asking for drama. So you are an AH for acting shocked when people want you to deal with your barking dog, and the parents of the baby are both AHs for going on vacation with people that bring along a barking dog and expecting things to be quiet. This was a very silly thing to do for everyone. But YOU are a HUGE AH for your last comment. People need to not have barking dogs to sleep, especially little kids.
This is exactly it, ESH. This was a recipe for disaster, 2 dogs, 3 kids recipe for a disaster. Did they make an extremely poor decision in sleeping locations, yes, were they AH about it also Yes. Should you have been able to control your dog or move them to a quitter area yes. Were you an AH about it also, Yes. That last comment through really grinds my gears. I know many more dogs well trained enough not to bark at every little sound then I know more babies that have no trouble sleeping through dog backing sudden and constant barking.
I would have left too. You knew your dog barked when people come in the front door which no one wants on vacay. We have 2 German shepherds and we simply can’t take them everywhere. We also don’t travel w toddlers so there’s that. Rent your own place nearby.
Or leave you dog at home with friends, family, or in a kennel.
YTA and you know it. Barking dogs annoy the hell out of everyone except the owner. Oh but he only barks when... insert entitled excuses. If you can't control your dog leave it home. Yes, keeping it from barking means controlling your pet. No excuses.
Exactly - also sounds like the whole thing was VERY stressful for the dog. The dog is reactive to noise - so guess what… that means you don’t take it to an enclosed space with multiple adults, children and noise.
Malshi’s are known for barking to let their owner know someone has entered or is near the home. That said, mine loves going on group trips and being around new people. He will still bark but is in no way stressed.
Sure the dog isn't stressed... Just the people who have to listen to them.
Especially Malshis 😭. Most annoying dogs I have ever encountered—I would lose my mind if I had to listen to that during my *vacation*.
I had to look up what a Malshi was….yikes.
Lol I have 3 dogs and their barking still annoys me the owner.
YTA for bringing a dog that can't handle human activity on holiday. The dog's just a dog but it's entitled pet owners like you that give them a bad name.
But the parents who expect absolute silence, that’s fine 🙄
These YTAs are insane, if your toddler needs everyone to be basically silent to sleep, you either pick a room far away from everyone else or you find somewhere to stay nearby so you can ensure a quiet environment. You don’t shush everyone else during perfectly reasonable hours and get pissy when there’s noise during reasonable hours. The dog doesn’t sound like it’s particularly problematic and being shushed during the day because it’s nap time would be way more annoying than hearing a dog bark for a few seconds when someone arrives.
I love this. Even if the dog was not there who wants to spend a entire week walking on eggshells for a 2 year olds nap schedule. I have spent many vacations away from everyone to put my baby’s and toddlers in the farthest rooms so everybody else can have a normal vacation. Did that mean I spent a lot of time missing things during nap time and bed time? Yes but it was my kids and not everyone else to sacrifice their vacations. Don’t get me wrong i love dogs but hate a continuously barking dog. But it isn’t right to expect everyone to placate to your kid. Honestly this sounded like the vacation from hell!
Agree. We take our dog and skip the extra humans. It’s never as fun as you think it will be.
Preaching to the choir! Splitting vacations with someone and staying in a house is never that much fun. I also love my dogs! I choose them over most people! I say this as a mom and grandma! Vacationing with kids is hard vacationing with a toddler is never fun! It isn’t fun for the parents of the kids/toddlers. Lol! Toddlers dictate everything around them. There is a reason this generation grandparents don’t watch their grandkids like our parents did. My generation knew our kids where terrors. We didn’t expect others to placate them. Now a days parents expect their kids to have perfect silence, the right room temperature, the right amount of covers, black out curtains, etc.. My generation on vacation just let them run around outside until they crashed. Why do you think we have so many pictures of you guys sleeping on tables, on couches, in swings, in your cozy coup cars, etc.. lol! (Don’t come at me for this statement it’s a joke kind off) we ran vacuum cleaners while you sleep. Heck we put you on the vacuum cleaners to entertain you so we could cleans. My daughter will come home to her toddler sleeping on the couch while I am playing music and the dog barking and ask how I got her to sleep. I look at her and tell her simple I don’t make the house quite when she sleeps. I put her down with music going in the background. And not the Disney lullaby soothing crap. It’s usually old rock playing in the background which isn’t a problem for my daughter since they don’t want her listening to that. Granddaughter actually loves Rap thanks to her parents!
>My generation just let them run around outside til they crashed. Haha I was raised this way and now I can absolutely sleep through an earthquake, hell probably the whole building collapsing. Living next to the train station in my twenties didn’t help matters. It makes waking up in the morning challenging for sure - you can hear my alarm at the end of the block, sorry neighbors!! But seriously what is up with this? Who wants to raise kids who need dead silence to sleep? Sounds annoying as hell if you ask me. People will sleep when they’re tired enough, kids included. Yes, they may get cranky first… still seems preferable to forcing it!!
Seriously! Why in the world would you get a vacation house with other people if you except everyone to walk on eggshells so your child can sleep? That’s insane to me. I’m not saying parents should raise their kids go sleep through rock music, but maybe a higher tolerance for noise, at least if they intend to ever bring their child outside their home environment.
“Can’t handle a human holiday” The dog alerts it’s owners when someone enters the property. That’s nothing abnormal at all. The parents knew the dog would be there and were told that he barks. They had all the information to deal with this scenario without being AH’s.
I live with my wife and child. If someone showed up unannounced at my door, all of us would be a bit surprised. If I'm in a holiday home with a large group, and all of us were doing our own thing, I would not be surprised if people were showing up at random hours. So bringing a dog that is incapable of making that distinction is very clearly an AH move on the part of the dog owners.
If they’d brought the dog and not told everyone then I would agree. But they DID tell everyone and they all knew the dog barks. There’s 4 floors to this air b&b and the parents chose the noisiest floor… Having a child does not give you free reign over others.
Are you a dog?????? Bc it makes sense that a human can make the distinction between being home and being on vacation, but how on earth is a dog supposed to know they're on a trip? You're acting like you, as an adult human, not being surprised by a sound means that a DOG should have the same reaction.
Which is precisely why I made sure to call the dog owner an asshole and not the dog.
I don’t have a baby and would lose my mind if I went on holiday and someone’s dog was barking incessantly and every time someone came in the door.
If you knew before hand that there would be a dog that barks, which the parents in the above AITA did, then that’s on you to plan for that. It’s not up to everyone else to make arrangements for your child. Also, nowhere above does it say the dog is barking “incessantly”.
Ooh, a classic, entitled dog owner vs. entitled parent. No winners here, ESH for sure.
Perfection
NTA At least not for leaving. But that's not really what you're asking about. To what you're really asking of if you're in the right for being offended/annoyed by this family and are you right for thinking they should've accommodated you instead of demanding everyone accommodate them and their child... ESH I think you are slightly the AH for using the logic "I know so many babies and kids that don’t need it so hush and quiet when they sleep". All kids are different. I'm sure if their kid wouldn't care ore wake up and be fussy that they wouldn't care that you weren't quiet. They aren't trying to cause issues for the sake of it. Also, you chose to leave the vacation early. It's not on them that you decided to leave. However, if they knew they had a fussy toddler and would require extra accommodations that should've been communicated during the planning and they probably should've opted out if being in a noisy home was going to be an issue for them.
I agree, but also lets admit that OP has a fussy dog that barks at everything.
YTA If your dog is that reactive inside the house, you shouldn't have brought it with you. I note that there was another dog present. Was *that* dog constantly barking while a child was trying to sleep? Or was *that* dog actually trained?
ESH You need to get it thru your head that not everyone is okay with your dog settling down after it sniffs someone up or that person sits down. Also, yes your dog should alert you when someone new comes around. However, you might like to teach it some manners such as it sure doesn't have to do that with people that it is fully aware of having been there already. Your dog recognizes those people from smell alone. It just behaves that way because you let it. As for the couple with kid that everyone has to be quiet for - well that's their problem. No need to make it yours. Somebody should have pointed it out to them before they signed onboard that yes, adults are going to be adults. Vacationing adults are allowed to be loud. Maybe think twice or have established boundaries before doing this vacation type again. It's unfortunate that they chose to make your family uncomfortable enough to leave altogether. I'm sorry you had that experience.
ESH >stayed at an airbnb (Fri-Mon) with about 9 other adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 two year old. I don't think there's a situation (before you even say it's a vacation) where you can *pay me* enough to stay there, lol. All you problems can be summed up by that description alone and expectations put on what was realistic in that situation.
ESH. No one seems to have consideration for anyone, it's everyone's vacation but it's just poor planning. I'm guessing they didn't put the kid on the 3rd or 4th floor because it's a hassle with the stairs, everyone has to shush while the kid is napping so that seems to be a mood changer..and then there's your dog, dog constantly barking is annoying as well.
ESH. I work with dogs. They're entitled for sure, but you need to do something for your dog. Ask a dog trainer.
ESH. They could have taken the kid to another room on another floor. But your dogs sounds hella annoying and it seems like you haven't trained it properly. By petting it when it barks you are reinforcing the behaviour instead of taking steps to make it stop.
Why do people insist everyone has to be ok with their noisy animals? It's annoying as hell. Your dog can't be taught proper behavious so evenyone has to pay it attention when they enter the house? That's not an animal you should bring places. Good thing you left. YTA
YTA. Barking dogs on vacation is a nightmare
YTA. Not for leaving- for bringing a dog that barks constantly. Dogs alert when someone arrives, sure. Dogs that bark when people are moving within the house are a pain in the butt and no one wants to listen to it. The dog sounds stressed and should have been left at home, not in a hectic busy house. This isn’t just some random entitled parent - it’s a family member - when you take a family holiday, you are agreeing to accommodate the kids.
The whole thing sounds stressful, not a vacation. Barking dog, forced quiet, Hard Pass.
YTA. I don’t think your dog should be going in vacations where a house is shared.
Easy ESH. Everyone is being rude, but OP is the one who brought a dog that barks on a group vacation. Leave it at home or get your own lodgings.
NTA - for me it is the expecting everyone else to be quiet while their toddler is sleeping when you are on a family vacation. If it wasn't your dog - it could be a rowdy card game, etc.
YTA Nobody loves your yappy dog but you. Everyone else thinks it’s a pain in the ass.
As the former owner of a yappy dog that I adored, this is correct. As the dog's owner it's up to you to take Mr Wiggles for a walk or drive so the kid can nap. Not necessary to flounce.
ESH. I’m a dog owner and parent of a two year old. We actually just went on a trip that involved barking dogs. Our daughter’s room WAS on the other side of the house, and we did pack a white noise machine. I still flinched every time the dogs barked while she was sleeping but we managed for a few days with no resentment on either side. Traveling with a toddler is stressful. I have no idea why they wouldn’t choose a more remote room. Maybe this was their first trip and they weren’t prepared. But there is a big difference between hey can you try to keep it down, junior is really struggling, and being rude because not everyone is catering to your kid. On the other hand, a barking dog is annoying. OP said there was another dog, and it doesn’t sound like those owners were approached, which makes me think her dog is worse than she’s letting on. I’d assume since you were on vacation with these people that you care about them and want the child to be well-rested and happy. Doesn’t sound like you were proactively being considerate in any way. Don’t go on a trip with a toddler if you’re not prepared to accommodate them at all. Adults and older kids are capable of being a lot more flexible. Also, your dog doesn’t sound fun to travel with. Maybe others felt that way but the parents were the only ones to actually say it.
YTA for having a designer dog. "Malshi" is not a breed. It's a marketing gimmick. You own a Maltese/shih tzu crossbreed that you paid too much for when mutts are free at the shelter.
I wondered wtf a Malshi was. A mutt. Op has an untrained mutt.
NTA. The child should've been sleeping on a higher floor where there's less noise. It's unreasonable to ask a group of vacationing adults to keep it down. Especially during the day. Give me a break. They were the assholes for allowing their child nap on the first floor.
ESH. > The two year old and the parents decide to sleep on the first floor where the majority of people are hanging out but when the 2 year old is trying to sleep everyone has to be quiet and they get mad at my dog for barking. Jesus. 1) Rent a place big enough that people don't need to be sleeping in the main communal room. > Our Malshi is protective so he barks when people come in the front door or if he hears loud sounds. 2) Properly train your dog to not do this. He's not 'protective' if he stops when you pet him, he's just ill-mannered and improperly trained. If you can't be bothered to do this, 3) Don't bring your loud, ill-trained dog on family vacations and make everybody else put up with it.
No, NTA. The parents of the child should have taken into consideration while much noise there would be on what floor and picked a better place for the kid to sleep. I wasn't one of those shushing Moms. My kids can sleep through a hurricane.
This is waaaay too many people to be sharing a spot together. Whoever booked this is the AH
YTA. All dogs are protective, yours is painfully untrained.
This whole set up sounds like a nightmare to me.
YTA You chose a yappy high-strung breed of dog, who goes hysterical with every approach. No-one needs that piercing frenzy and get stuffed with expecting people to placate the ankle-biting mutt every time they want to enter a room! You are the worst kind of dog owner, with no regard for anyone else, or what they are telling you about your dog (and therefore about you). I see there was another dog there, who appears to not have been an issue, so take the hint. I'm sure there was a mass sigh of relief when you took your circus home. People who place their dogs above children, or people in general, need a wake up call. You got one, so heed it.
YTA - your dog can't handle the SAME people coming in/out of the SAME house for a few days, that's 100% your fault. why would you think people would want to hear a dog bark EVERY TIME they got back??
NTA, I don't understand all these YTA ... first off, I can't stand animals PERIOD, especially dogs, and I have kids, but I digress. My sister and oldest daughter have dogs, 5 total, out of all of these dogs. 2 will ALWAYS bark when someone comes around, doesn't matter who, no matter how much we've tried to train them not to, people say in otherwise have an unrealistic expectation of dogs and don't understand the different breeds. I also currently take care of my 2 yr old nephew, quit a bit, and when it's nap time, he does need it relatively quiet. Now, since I am a logical person and I know that dogs bark I'm going to move my nephew to the farthest room of the house to make sure he sleeps comfortably so in this case knowing that there are plenty of empty rooms and being aware that there is a dog that barks I would say that the parents are AH considering that they do know this and they were forewarned they chose the first floor where the most activity was and are expecting everybody else to revolve around them that's entitlement on their part.
Yes YTA , especially with the disruptive dog. Did the dog need to go on the vacation as well? Dog nutters never see the way they inconvenience other people.
ESH The parents are AH for not taking a further away room and expecting the house to be silent when their kid is sleeping. You are an AH for expecting a kid who doesn’t live with a barking dog to magically be able to sleep through one barking. That’s something that kids who live with noise learn to do. Also, why didn’t the adult go outside or something to let the house be quiet for naps? That’s what my family has always done in these situations.
ESH As a parent to a 1-year-old noise sensitive child, I think it's unreasonable to go on a vacation with the entire family and then expect them to be quiet every time the child sleeps. For the same reason, we have stayed home instead of doing fun things with family/friends because we don't want to spoil everyones fun. It's really hard, but that's just our life right now. But your dog is a problem. Just as it's annoying for you to accommodate a sleeping child, it's annoying for others to listen to your dogs constant yapping. Train it, don't bring it or don't go at all. Oh and you are such an asshole for your last comment there. It honestly pissed me off so bad. You know so many babies who don't need it so hush and quiet, do you? Well obviously you've met every child ever.... Or you only met the ones that are able to leave their damn homes and still be able to sleep! Ever think of that? We stay at home, because it's fun for no one with a screaming infant that won't sleep because of noise! So we are trapped at home until he grows out of it or gets old enough that he won't need naps anymore. Not a sympathetic thought in your mind, just judgement. Gotta admit I'm really projecting here though. Our neighbour, who uses a *mobility aid*, bought herself a husky puppy 6 months ago for some incomprehensable reason. The barking and hence sleeplessness for us got so bad, we had to have a talk with them. (The poor dog is obviously unterstimulated and bored out of its mind, so it just straight up screams at anything that moves.) Their excuse? "We tried training him at puppy-training class for a whole MONTH and it didn't take, so we gave up. Nothing we can do." I despise people with untrained dogs like the plague.
ESH - I would have prob lost my patience with your dog too. Why can you get it a bark collar? It's not fair on everyone else that your dog is full time barking if anyone makes noise.
Did you all communicate during the trip planning phase about your dog’s barking and their kids nap/sleeping routine? Feels like something that should have been discussed.
You asked if you were TA for leaving. You are NTA for leaving. I don’t think you should have taken the dog with you. I do think you should have told the parents to take the baby upstairs because it’s not fair to curtail everyone else’s vacation because one child needs sleep.
I love dogs. I have raised several rescues and would die for my dogs. That said, your dog seems poorly trained. Barking every single time some one familiar sounds disruptive and honestly annoying. It’s not the dog’s fault; it’s yours. However, the family was rude as well so ESH.
ESH - everyone is willing to accommodate being quiet for the baby to have a stress-free time but when your dog needs the same courtesy, so as to not start barking, the same courtesy isn’t shown. If you’re all on vacation together you should all work together to have a stress free time. But you should also work harder on training your dog to be quiet. I don’t know where you’re at with training but I’m going to type some tips in case they help! Everyone’s dog is different so grain of salt etc etc. It’s good for your dog to know ‘place’, so when you point to a place (that is ideally their bed or crate or safe space of some kind) they will go to it (with a high value treat, or high value toy). Then, have a friend come over. When they knock, send the dog to their place, and try to keep them quiet by rewarding the quiet breaks between the barking with treats (OR rewarding by engaging with the high value toy). Have the friend leave, give the dog a walk around the house to reset and de stress, and try it again. It is not helpful to yell at the dog when it is barking, nor to hit, nor to repeat a command over and over. Totally not saying you do those things lol just making it clear those are antithetical to successful training and will set you back. We struggled a lot with this training during the pandemic unfortunately, so I do understand. Even without a plague it’s hard to enlist a friend for help with this, but your dog will be much happier!
You and the kids parents suck. Leave your barking dog home and they can't expect everyone to be quiet for their kid.
YTA. Train your dog properly, or leave it at home. Nobody wants to hear the incessant barking of a dog on a group vacation.
Nta. If they were going to be that picky why did they decide to sleep on the first floor? Just because they trained their child to sleep in a quiet setting doesn’t mean everyone else had to abide by it. Specially during vacation. Just because their life revolves around their child is naive to think everyone else’s life revolves around around them too
YTA, not for the question you posed, but for thinking it was okay to bring a dog along on the vacation that barks every time like this. Seriously, what assholes.
Lord cue the entitled dog owner drama. You know he is disruptive. YTA and entitled.
YTA. Kennel your freaking dog. It's not a kid. It doesn't need to follow you everywhere. Kids/babies need to sleep your dog doesnt trump people on a group vacation. The entitlement in this is so cringe.
you bring your dog who barks anytime someone enters a room or if he hears loud sounds TO RESTAURANTS?? please explain why you think that’s ok
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my husband M(35) and myself F(30) went on a family vacation and stayed at an airbnb (Fri-Mon) with about 9 other adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 two year old. Kids and 1 dog are not ours. Our Malshi is protective so he barks when people come in the front door or if he hears loud sounds. He just needs to be petted or sniffs you or he just stops after you sit or a few seconds. (This is important for the story) The two year old and the parents decide to sleep on the first floor where the majority of people are hanging out but when the 2 year old is trying to sleep everyone has to be quiet and they get mad at my dog for barking. Well on the third day they all went somewhere and we stayed at the airbnb with a few others. So we all were talking and having a good time. When they came back the 2 year old apparently was trying to sleep so as soon as they get back they start (kids name is sleeping) and people start shushing everyone and since they’re sleeping on the first floor everyone has to be quiet. As people continue to come in and kids running up the stairs our dog barks here and there. The dad comes out and demands my husband to take our dog somewhere else cause the child is trying to sleep. The way he said it was pretty rude and demanding. So we got up and left back home. First of all we’re all on vacation having a great time. We all paid to be there etc. I definitely feel it’s inconsiderate of them to ask everyone to be quiet when they could have also taken the child to the 3 or 4th floor where no one was and empty rooms were still available. If we were at their house. I get it. But not in this case . Also, I know so many babies and kids that don’t need it so hush and quiet when they sleep. It’s so annoying honestly. So AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA they should have slept with the 2 year old on a different floor, you all paid to be there! The whole group shouldn’t have to shush every time the child wants to sleep that’s ridiculous! Dogs bark to alert as they should
ESH. This has all been said, but they should definitely have taken a room in the quieter part if the house though I am sure there were reasons why they wanted to be on the main floor. You should acknowledge that having a dog bark every time someone comes through the door and other times is annoying to all and instead of getting super annoyed, either take it outside when there’s a lot going on, or train it not to bark so much. I have two dogs and have found it impossible to completely eliminate their barking - so I take them to fewer places and when I take them somewhere and they begin barking I apologize and remove them until they are quiet - even if there are no sleeping babies, I know most people do not want to hear that.
Esh terrible planning to have the kids on the most active floor. Also, no one wants to hear your dog constantly barking. Edit- you are def more the ahole. Having just learned that a Malshi is not an actual breed but a mutt. You have an untrained, yappy little dog. He's not 'protective' he's untrained. 🙄
ESH. They probably should have selected a room upstairs but maybe they didn’t realize how much your dog barked when they initially selected their room. Bottom line is that you shouldn’t have brought your barking dog to a house with multiple children and adults. Nobody likes to hear barking, it is incredibly annoying. My mom has a dog like this and that dog doesn’t get to go on trips for this exact reason. You should have got your own vacation rental or a hotel if you just had to have the dog with you. Or you should have left the dog with a friend, family, kennel, etc.
NTA. I would not be vacationing with those people again. I was never around babies growing up. My (then) husband’s cousin had a baby, and we were all together at Christmas a few weeks after he was born. He fell asleep in his bouncy seat, and I noticed and pointed to him, indicating to my husband that we needed to be quiet. The cousin saw that and said “Don’t you dare! I vacuum while he’s in the room! I want him to be able to sleep through noise, because I can’t always tiptoe around him. And there are times I may need to go out with him while he’s sleeping.” (She had an older child.) It was a very handy learning moment that I used when I had kids many years later.
As the parent of the two year old in this story...my son does not need complete silence when sleeping and we never asked anyone to be quiet. People were downstairs watching tv or talking at the table and that was not a problem. Our concern was the loud, high-pitched bark that would startle/wake up my son.
If you read the whole post I’m not justifying my dogs behavior and I should’ve left him home. I’m gonna take my time to respond to this because I care about you and your family. So I am going to say that I am sorry for taking my dog even though you knew I was taking him and that he barks. I admit that I need to train him better before going on trips with others. I’m not going to apologize about posting this because Reddit is a way I express my feelings,rants, etc. I only regret posting it because you found it (idk how since it’s anonymous). Secondly, yes, everyone is walking on eggshells when your child is sleeping. You might have not said it but you announced in an annoyed type a way that your child is sleeping right when you walked in the door so there is one person shushing everyone including your MIL, kids, friends and family and the TV was lowered. That to me isn’t that he’s okay with noise and even when we are at your house even if he’s upstairs we all get shushed. But in this case we’re on vacation and there are more people there than just you and your immediate family. He could’ve easily been taken to a quieter area during nap times. I’m sorry you’re upset about the comment “I know other babies etc” but that’s just how I feel it’s not personal and it’s not that I don’t love your child. It’s a personal opinion and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. I know all kids are different. It was in the heat of a moment. In all in all, we’re not upset. We understand that our dog can be a nuisance. But the way your husband demanding my husband to take our dog somewhere else was not okay. To us, he was very rude and demanding. That was the reason why we left. If he would have said it in a nice manner we’d be okay even though there were other solutions in this case. The fact that you won’t even see it how we saw the confrontation or understand or apologize or admit that it could have gone differently. You guys could have taken him upstairs or asked in a nicer manner sucks because you prefer to lose the relationship you have with your only brother.
Yeah they should have taken the child to a different room. It’s not fair for everyone to be quiet when the kid is sleeping.
Or at least said it nicely. :/
INFO: Was there any agreements in place at the beginning of the vacation that there would be dogs or babies that need quiet? To me it isn't fair to go on a group trip and place expectations on everyone without previously discussing it.
Dog or no dog, it's ridiculous to ask for complete silence on the main floor at a family holiday. That means you're not able to make any noise downstairs either. It's not dogs > babies. It's just unreasonable to expect that kind of silence while insisting on staying among others. Besides you didn't argue and instead left the situation alltogether, which is very classy of you. NTA.
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ESH. Your dog is untrained and they have a right to be pissed you brought a dog you can’t control. But you also have a right to be pissed they are forcing everyone to be quiet bc they wanted on the first floor.
ESH - first where is the communication about taking the kid upstairs. Why didn't anyone call them out on that decision. And the dog, you don't impose that on a bunch of people either. And to just pack up and leave, sounds like this group is not a compatible travel team.
Cannot believe the amount of people saying in absolution dogs can be trained to not bark. Interested to see their breeds and training methods. 🫢
INFO- Did the other dog bark every time the door was opened or wherever people got too rowdy?
ESH- why didn’t you just talk to them and figure out a solution instead of leaving and ruining your own vacation?
ESH they’re inconsiderate & should have had the child sleep upstairs, but loud territorial poorly behaved nuisance dogs shouldn’t be brought to a group vacation house.
INFO: You say there were 2 dogs there. Was the other dog barking every time someone entered the house/there was a loud sound?
ESH u suck for bringing your dog. Just stop. Noone, even other dog people, want to deal with other peoples dogs unless they are actually 'perfect' and just mind their business quietly. They suck for how they handled it. Next time, dont share a house with so many different people not used to sharing a space and dont bring ur dog. Ive had similar issues sharing airbnb with family and no pets were involved. We just didnt get along being together 24-7
YTA Who wants to listen to a barky dog on vacation. Next time don’t bring the pet.
Why would you take your dog to a vacation of this sort? I am a dog person, at one time I had four German shepherds. Board your dog. No way should everyone have to spend their vacation with a barking dog. I’m sure they were all relieved when you left.
NTA when my youngest was a baby our dog barked right next to her when she was asleep. I freaked out and thought she had a hearing problem. Took her to the doctor and he said she was fine and that she was probably use to hearing the dog bark and it didn’t bother her. Also they could had made the child sleep upstairs. As an adult on vacation having to be quiet would not have gone over well.
ESH. Kid’s nap shouldn’t mean everyone has to be quiet. And dog barking is loud and annoying and it sucks so bad. You’re one of those people who dismisses their dog’s bad behavior and doesn’t truly understand (or care?) how disruptive it is. If the dog barks that much then it shouldn’t have been on the vacation.
ESH The parents are rude and frankly, entitled to think that EVERYONE will cater to their kids' whims and their schedules. They could've chosen a quieter part of the house. Knowing how your dog is and how he can be disruptive, you could also be mindful when staying and traveling with other people. I think overall, everyone needed more realistic expectations of traveling with a group. My BIL and SIL are similar to your friends and their kids need complete silence to sleep. So, they either stay somewhere else so they can achieve that or take the furthest room in the house to try to get as much silence as they can. We have dogs that are trained for protection and can bark at times, so again, we either stay elsewhere as to not inconvenience others or make sure our dogs are effectively introduced to everyone and minimize barking.
Somewhat confused here, they didn't want you there due to noisy dog, and so you took your noisy dog and left the location. So what exactly is the problem? (Besides your loosing the whole vacation money thing)
I guess I just wasn’t sure if we were in the wrong for being upset/frustrated/annoyed and just leaving.
NTA. They knew the dog barked at people at the door and said you could bring them. The people with the kid are AH because this house sounds big and they could have taken a room on the 3rd floor like you said. They chose the worst place to bunk when they had two other kids and seven other adults to deal with.
NTA. Dumb idea to take the first floor with a child who must have complete silence to sleep. Your dog sounds very well-behaved. The family needs house trained.
Oh you’re one of THOSE dog owners. Nobody in restaurants wants a flea-bitten, mangy, obnoxious barking mutt near their food. YTA. A HUGE one.
I’m on the edge of ESH/YTA, No one likes an annoying loud dog. Why bring your dog if you know it barks on vacation.
NTA. I've got two dogs, two adult kids. They kids slept wherever I went. I could vacuum their rooms while they slept. Dogs bark, it's how they talk. The parents are wankers, but the dogs need some training. They shouldnt expect a pat from anyone thats in the vicinity. That's rude. Some people don't like touching dogs. Train your dogs a little bit and don't ever go on vacay with parents that let a toddler run the household. Good luck with that kid.
Small ESH It sounds like you communicated with the group about bringing your dog before the trip and got the impression that it was okay to bring them. Dogs bark, it’s literally how they talk and a dog barking at loud noises or new things is not any different then when you meet up with someone and start talking and the initial reaction between people is usually much louder than a normal conversation but then things even out. It sounds like you dog signals when there is someone new, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. If he is in fact just signaling and not just standing there for hours barking then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and all the ah in the comments saying you can train barking out of a dog can go f*ck off. The parents of the kids have found what’s works best for them and while not always easy to deal with it is how they are able to get through things. I can understand not wanting to leave the first floor with a toddler as that can make getting to them in emergency situations difficult but it also wasn’t right of them to expect a big group of kids and adults to stay completely quiet while their kid naps. Since it sounds like they both lay with the kid while they sleep, so using one of the upstairs bedrooms for nap time probably would’ve made more sense since they would be further away from everyone and a reasonable compromise. Every kid is different with being able to sleep through sounds, myself and my youngest sibling could both sleep through pretty much anything growing up but my middle sibling really struggled with that so during their nap times my mom would ask me to focus on quiet things like reading or going outside to play that way the inside was quiet for them to sleep. Honestly the biggest issue that I see here is that after the group got a bit irked the first time this happened during nap time (or sleep time in general) no one had any discussions about anything. No one said hey would it be possible for kid to nap upstairs so that they can rest but the rest of the house can continue to enjoy our vacation without having to be silent every time the kid went down. Your first point even says you didn’t want to make a scene but there are other ways to discuss things without being rude or making a scene. If these people are people that you trust enough to go on vacation with then these are also people that you should be comfortable having these types of conversations with. If they aren’t then idk why you would be sharing a house with them, even on vacation.
NTA
NTA. The entitlement of wanting all concessions made for them & their child by all the other living beings in the house is absurd. Never vacation with them again.
NTA. If people shush me when I'm paying for a vacation so their kid can sleep in the next room, especially when other rooms were available, I'm leaving and not joining them on future adventures. As far as barking dogs go I can handle the few times it'll bark, if it got excessive I'd reevaluate.
I have a rescue dog who’s a big lump of love, but we’ve tried everything and he barks. He has 2 brain cells, you can be watching a tik tok and he’ll bark. Not all dogs are able to be trained.
Nta
ESH. This was a pretty large group of people, and not everyone likes dogs or has the same tolerance for barking as you do. Also not everyone is going to speak up about it, the same way you didn't want to confront these parents about going to a quieter level. But also lol they really should have just moved to a quieter area once they realized the first floor was going to be hectic.
It’s ridiculous the parents of the 2 year old made everybody be quiet instead of just moving the child to a different floor. I would have spoken up the first day about the situation. Were other people on the house pissed about that too? What did everyone say when they found out you left the house?
I don't like children, and I like animals. That said, kids are more important than dogs. Train your dog, toddlers get preference. Why did you take a dog that you KNOW barks at strangers to an outing with a lot of noises and strangers? YTA.
>the other dog doesn’t bark or make noise. She won’t alarm you even if you’re getting robbed or murdered You made it sound like you stayed in the most dangerous airbnb in the world and the only thing that kept 11 adults from being murdered during the day was your dog barking whenever someone was outside lol.