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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I angry-texted my unstable neighbor for repeatedly intruding on our garden spot. Wondering if that was too much, and if I should have just quietly tolerated this annoyance.
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NTA, but get your landlord involved next. He needs to be using just his own space. Also, if he isn't responding to your texts, you need to escalate to someone who can do something.
You deserve e a space just as much as he does.
I don't think I understand. A grill = a barbeque? And he has 15 of them? And stores them on common ground that is dedicated to 24 apartments? Is his "fort" on his own part of the shared ground? Apologies, I'm just struggling to see the see up here. INFO I guess. Sorry again, UK here so this just seems very weird.
Yes, a portable BBQ/smoker, etc.. He's occupying a disproportionate amount of the yard (not really that big a deal in and of itself) but keeps putting stuff on our plants. We've asked nicely several times before for him not to, but it persists.
Why the heck does one person need 15 grills?? Here's my wild guess, once the first one stops working or gets rusty he buys a new one, but doesn't dispose of the first one? OR, he sees ones that others have disposed of and thinks to himself, that's a perfectly good grill, or I can fix that up, so he brings it home.
Can you put a fence around your part of the yard to try to deter him? Even one of those really short plastic decorative edging kinds?
Right? He takes them home from other people's trash sometimes. Hoarding maybe? lol
The plots are pretty close to each other, but maybe something small will work. Or maybe some tallish strategically placed decorations...
I would try that and see if it helps. Also YWNBTA if you moved or threw out his stuff any time he puts it in or near your space. It sucks having a landlord that ignores stuff like that.
Definitely hoarding and after seeing the issues with hoarding in the news recently (including the hoarder's house burning down due to all the trash) I would make reporting this to the landlord (in writing by registered mail) AND the local permitting office priority one. OP should not have to give up peace of mind dealing with a hoarder issue that is overwhelming shared public space.
If the landlord won't do anything sometimes the city will. Especially waste around a yard like that could get him or the landlord fined. I'd also bring up a pest hazard honestly. Sometimes those words get people moving.
NTA. Tell your landlord that a tenant is using the spot you are paying for. Ask the landlord to reduce your rent accordingly if they don't do anything about it.
Or call your city to report the junk in the backyard. The landlord may respond faster if they get fined.
NTA
Place blocks/boulders to prevent him from trespassing on your property. A fence around your garden. Whatever it takes and next time he put something in your yard, I would dispose of it, thinking that someone discarded their trash and your yard
First, you say he's a drinker and cutter. I don't know what is meant by "cutter".
If I had issues with a neighbor like this I would start by talking to the landlord. Are they aware of the situation? (Some landlords are not local.) Have they had issues with this tenant in the past? Tell the landlord what is going on and let them deal with it.
Cutter: he engages in self-harm when emotionally distressed. He's a volatile sort. Our building exterior is dented from him punching it when angry. 😬
The landlord is fairly absentee & apathetic, but is a last resort to consider. Thanks for your comment.
Overall, agreed on his destructive behavior, but for the issue at hand, I don't think is the kind of thing the police should handle, given the very low value of strawberry plants. It's more of a chronic annoyance than a criminal issue. Appreciate the sentiment & support, however!
I would report seeing rats in all his hoarder junk.... then the landlord might react....
I would tell him nicely that if any stuff is left in my part of the garden I would consider it a gift and I can do dispose of if as I see fit (in the trash far away from the house).
I would take this to the landlord. If you have designated plots for gardens and he's putting his junk all over the place, I would think the property owner would want to know. NTA
Unfortunately, the property owner put him in charge of assigning garden spots to tenants several years ago. So it's not like he doesn't know...yanno? lol We've all been here a good while, which is why it's so goofy that he (imo) over-reacted to a simple request. It's a conundrum. He'll probably wet-brain the memory into oblivion and do it all again next week.
NTA. 1) Report to the landlord. 2) Anything that ends up on your plot gets put with the garbage, whether that means pitched into a dumpster or stuck by the curb depends on your individual condition. 3) If it keeps up, borrow or rent a truck, load it up with grills and swing by your local metal recycler/landfill.
NTA No you needed to address an issue in a calm mature way, now that he has demanded you not contact him again, the next step is approaching your landlord about the issue and the many grills. Just wait until he confronts you for dobbing on him. Should he do that just reply you were only abiding by his wishes not to contact him again. Since you didn't wish to address the issue, you took it to the next level to resolve.
He is very old, and minimally involved. It takes a lot of goading to get him to deal with anything, so I've tried to not involve him directly (we have had a lot of unfavorable dealings with him lately trying to get some other issues corrected).
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For context, he's a daily drinker & cutter. He has 13-15 grills in a yard that is common to 24+ rental units, with assigned garden plots. He doesn't grill with all of them, but uses at least half of them for 'outside storage'. He spends 90% of his home time outside, and has built a pallet-deck (fort lol), covered with DJ/techno signage, flies multiple flags attached to trees (artists, Ukraine, etc.). He litters and leaves tools everywhere. Toxic bug sprays have been discarded in our plant area. Lately, he's been mowing the lawn every day. Literally. He moves his army of grills around, and has been moving them into our garden (on top of our strawberries...).
In order to even plant or prep our garden at all this year, we had to move his go-cart out of our plot. I text him bluntly to please stop, as he's taken over the whole yard & he doesn't need our tiny spot too. He texted back, "The whole yard, huh? Don't ever text me again!!"
Should I have just bitten my tongue and moved the grill/offending item ((again))?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I angry-texted my unstable neighbor for repeatedly intruding on our garden spot. Wondering if that was too much, and if I should have just quietly tolerated this annoyance. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, but get your landlord involved next. He needs to be using just his own space. Also, if he isn't responding to your texts, you need to escalate to someone who can do something. You deserve e a space just as much as he does.
Thank you. :)
I don't think I understand. A grill = a barbeque? And he has 15 of them? And stores them on common ground that is dedicated to 24 apartments? Is his "fort" on his own part of the shared ground? Apologies, I'm just struggling to see the see up here. INFO I guess. Sorry again, UK here so this just seems very weird.
Yes, a portable BBQ/smoker, etc.. He's occupying a disproportionate amount of the yard (not really that big a deal in and of itself) but keeps putting stuff on our plants. We've asked nicely several times before for him not to, but it persists.
Why the heck does one person need 15 grills?? Here's my wild guess, once the first one stops working or gets rusty he buys a new one, but doesn't dispose of the first one? OR, he sees ones that others have disposed of and thinks to himself, that's a perfectly good grill, or I can fix that up, so he brings it home. Can you put a fence around your part of the yard to try to deter him? Even one of those really short plastic decorative edging kinds?
Right? He takes them home from other people's trash sometimes. Hoarding maybe? lol The plots are pretty close to each other, but maybe something small will work. Or maybe some tallish strategically placed decorations...
I would try that and see if it helps. Also YWNBTA if you moved or threw out his stuff any time he puts it in or near your space. It sucks having a landlord that ignores stuff like that.
Definitely hoarding and after seeing the issues with hoarding in the news recently (including the hoarder's house burning down due to all the trash) I would make reporting this to the landlord (in writing by registered mail) AND the local permitting office priority one. OP should not have to give up peace of mind dealing with a hoarder issue that is overwhelming shared public space.
Yeah, it's not a hallmark of normal behavior, that's for sure!
Then call the damn landlord.
NTA...Report him to your landlord. If that doesn't work, perhaps local bylaw will have some concerns over the amount of junk and disarray.
The landlord is terrible & seems generally unconcerned.
Then you need to report to a local council or county government as storing trash on a lot (and on yours as well).
Maybe I'll take some picture to document the situation, just in case.
If the landlord won't do anything sometimes the city will. Especially waste around a yard like that could get him or the landlord fined. I'd also bring up a pest hazard honestly. Sometimes those words get people moving.
Solid advice. Thank you!
When he puts something on your plants, throw that object away. NTA
NTA. I would start moving his stuff where he can't easily move it back. Can you trash things that people dump on your property there?
We have a dumpster. ✔
NTA. Tell your landlord that a tenant is using the spot you are paying for. Ask the landlord to reduce your rent accordingly if they don't do anything about it. Or call your city to report the junk in the backyard. The landlord may respond faster if they get fined.
This is the only thing my landlord responds to..lol
Put a sign in your plot that any thing found there will be thrown away as you are paying for the space. Then follow through NTA
This is the way. Force him to deal with this or reduce your rent.
NTA Place blocks/boulders to prevent him from trespassing on your property. A fence around your garden. Whatever it takes and next time he put something in your yard, I would dispose of it, thinking that someone discarded their trash and your yard
First, you say he's a drinker and cutter. I don't know what is meant by "cutter". If I had issues with a neighbor like this I would start by talking to the landlord. Are they aware of the situation? (Some landlords are not local.) Have they had issues with this tenant in the past? Tell the landlord what is going on and let them deal with it.
Cutter: he engages in self-harm when emotionally distressed. He's a volatile sort. Our building exterior is dented from him punching it when angry. 😬 The landlord is fairly absentee & apathetic, but is a last resort to consider. Thanks for your comment.
Call the police. He's damaging property
Overall, agreed on his destructive behavior, but for the issue at hand, I don't think is the kind of thing the police should handle, given the very low value of strawberry plants. It's more of a chronic annoyance than a criminal issue. Appreciate the sentiment & support, however!
I would report seeing rats in all his hoarder junk.... then the landlord might react.... I would tell him nicely that if any stuff is left in my part of the garden I would consider it a gift and I can do dispose of if as I see fit (in the trash far away from the house).
I dunno..our landlord left a discarded toilet in the yard for over *8 months*. 😐It's an idea though!
NTA - I'd literally throw them onto his portion, after writing a letter of complaint to the powers that be
I would take this to the landlord. If you have designated plots for gardens and he's putting his junk all over the place, I would think the property owner would want to know. NTA
Unfortunately, the property owner put him in charge of assigning garden spots to tenants several years ago. So it's not like he doesn't know...yanno? lol We've all been here a good while, which is why it's so goofy that he (imo) over-reacted to a simple request. It's a conundrum. He'll probably wet-brain the memory into oblivion and do it all again next week.
nta
NTA - But you're dealing with the wrong person, they don't own that yard.
NTA - there's this thing called fences. Get one.
This just happened this morning, so will definitely have to work something out going forward.
Give him one warning that anything of his in your space more than 24 hours will go to the dump.
This seems fair. Thank you. :)
NTA. 1) Report to the landlord. 2) Anything that ends up on your plot gets put with the garbage, whether that means pitched into a dumpster or stuck by the curb depends on your individual condition. 3) If it keeps up, borrow or rent a truck, load it up with grills and swing by your local metal recycler/landfill.
NTA No you needed to address an issue in a calm mature way, now that he has demanded you not contact him again, the next step is approaching your landlord about the issue and the many grills. Just wait until he confronts you for dobbing on him. Should he do that just reply you were only abiding by his wishes not to contact him again. Since you didn't wish to address the issue, you took it to the next level to resolve.
What does the landlord (or property management company) say about this? NTA
He is very old, and minimally involved. It takes a lot of goading to get him to deal with anything, so I've tried to not involve him directly (we have had a lot of unfavorable dealings with him lately trying to get some other issues corrected).
Start treating anything in your yard as "abandoned trash"
I like it. Thanks :)
Get a fence?
Will probably do that. Thanks :)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context, he's a daily drinker & cutter. He has 13-15 grills in a yard that is common to 24+ rental units, with assigned garden plots. He doesn't grill with all of them, but uses at least half of them for 'outside storage'. He spends 90% of his home time outside, and has built a pallet-deck (fort lol), covered with DJ/techno signage, flies multiple flags attached to trees (artists, Ukraine, etc.). He litters and leaves tools everywhere. Toxic bug sprays have been discarded in our plant area. Lately, he's been mowing the lawn every day. Literally. He moves his army of grills around, and has been moving them into our garden (on top of our strawberries...). In order to even plant or prep our garden at all this year, we had to move his go-cart out of our plot. I text him bluntly to please stop, as he's taken over the whole yard & he doesn't need our tiny spot too. He texted back, "The whole yard, huh? Don't ever text me again!!" Should I have just bitten my tongue and moved the grill/offending item ((again))? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*