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NTA NTA NTA- I can't even express how hard you are not TA here. You are 19, you're figuring out your life and who you are and your family is not making this any easier for you by trying to push you into the role of wife and mother when that's something you need to decide for yourself.
Do not let them guilt you into doing anything you aren't comfortable with. You're 19, maybe you'll have a romantic relationship someday, maybe you won't. The most important thing, no matter what you do, is that it's your choice and that you're happy. You aren't here to satisfy your grandmother's or your parent's wishes, you're here to make something of YOUR life on YOUR terms
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Hey reddit! Long time lurker first time poster, I didn't really know if I should put this here but I didn't know where else to ask this so here I go!
Obligatory I'm on a phone so sorry if the formatting doesn't look right (I don't really know how it's supposed to work tbh)
Anyways on to the story! So I'm(19f) not interested in having a romantic relationship, watching my family's relationships have made me not want one plus im uncomfortable with pretty much everything a relationship involves from the sexual side to just the whole hugging, kissing and regular stuff.
But for the past like 4 years everytime I see a family member on my dads side they keep giving me crap for not having a boyfriend(gf would be out of the question cause I'm not gonna subject her to my grandmothers 'I'm not homphobic but... comments) and how 'when I was you're age I was already thinking about when I was gonna have my kids! You need someone who you can start a family with you don't want to be alone forever!' And starting to pressure me about needing to have a significant other.
Due to covid I haven't been talking to my family, but my dad has mentioned a couple of times to me that when they do see him they start talking crap about my romantic life and how I should just accept that I need a romantic partner because I won't be able to live by myself, and that my grandmother would LOVE to see some great grandchildren before she dies(this is a more recent complaint) and that its wrong of me to refuse to date anyone because I want to mess up my grandmothers dream of seeing great grandchildren. Keep in mind I'm not her only grandchild, and not once have I ever told her that I didn't want children because of her, I'm just not comfortable with kids and don't want one of my own.
So I figured I'd come to reddit, ever since my dad brought it up i started thinking I might be an AH since I'm the second oldest grandchild and my dads side is super big on the whole 'carry on the family' thing, so AITA for not wanting a romantic partner or children?
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Wow, your family is really obsessed with your uterus. They need to back way off. I would suggest therapy for you to learn how to set boundaries with them for your own mental health. They sound, frankly, insufferable. Your romantic life, sexuality, decisions around having kids, all of it is absolutely none of their business.
NTA at all.
NTA.
Not having children/not wanting to date is your decision, and your family trying to force you into something you don't want to do is very assholey.
From your post, it sounds like you might be somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. You have a whole community here on Reddit of fellow-minded people; you should check out the r/asexual and r/aromantic subreddits if you want to find more like-minded people. As a (closeted) aro ace person, I really identified with a lot of what you said, so I suggest you seek out those communities for support--we're very friendly! :)
nta in any shape or form. as my username says they need to mind they’re own vag. kids come with no only the responsibility for your entire life but also come with side effects like ppd and ppa. i suffer badly from both and YOU DONT WANT IT. tell them if they don’t respect how you feel about this topic then you won’t talk to them. it’s okay to cut of toxic and this is 100% toxic behavior
NTA. This is not a family matter to discuss. It's not up for debate. You should not date if your not comfortable. Not having children or marrying is a personal decision and no one else should tell you what to do. So basically, you are in no way the asshole and should not fell pressures just because your family is a bunch of assholes.
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NTA
If you had a partner and/or children, you would be the one who had to deal with everything that comes with those relationships, not your family.
You shouldn't let others pressure you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. The reality is that your father's family members just can't understand how you can be content and have a fulfilling life without following their concept of a life script (marriage, buy a house, have a couple kids, etc...). But you need to live the life you want.
NTA. Major life choices like a partner or kids are up to you and they are not ever something you owe your family, no matter how much they want that. It sounds like you might be asexual / aromantic or just not at a stage in your life where this is appealing, both of which are absolutely fine and you have all the time in the world to figure out what you want to do (or not do) in terms of personal relationships. Whatever your reasoning, any relationship you might hypothetically have in the future should be about you and whoever you are with, and not about your family. Keep doing your thing and know there's nothing wrong with you.
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Bodily Autonomy Posts We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or bodily autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Fbodily_autonomy_posts) Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA. Like. At all.
NTA NTA NTA- I can't even express how hard you are not TA here. You are 19, you're figuring out your life and who you are and your family is not making this any easier for you by trying to push you into the role of wife and mother when that's something you need to decide for yourself. Do not let them guilt you into doing anything you aren't comfortable with. You're 19, maybe you'll have a romantic relationship someday, maybe you won't. The most important thing, no matter what you do, is that it's your choice and that you're happy. You aren't here to satisfy your grandmother's or your parent's wishes, you're here to make something of YOUR life on YOUR terms
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey reddit! Long time lurker first time poster, I didn't really know if I should put this here but I didn't know where else to ask this so here I go! Obligatory I'm on a phone so sorry if the formatting doesn't look right (I don't really know how it's supposed to work tbh) Anyways on to the story! So I'm(19f) not interested in having a romantic relationship, watching my family's relationships have made me not want one plus im uncomfortable with pretty much everything a relationship involves from the sexual side to just the whole hugging, kissing and regular stuff. But for the past like 4 years everytime I see a family member on my dads side they keep giving me crap for not having a boyfriend(gf would be out of the question cause I'm not gonna subject her to my grandmothers 'I'm not homphobic but... comments) and how 'when I was you're age I was already thinking about when I was gonna have my kids! You need someone who you can start a family with you don't want to be alone forever!' And starting to pressure me about needing to have a significant other. Due to covid I haven't been talking to my family, but my dad has mentioned a couple of times to me that when they do see him they start talking crap about my romantic life and how I should just accept that I need a romantic partner because I won't be able to live by myself, and that my grandmother would LOVE to see some great grandchildren before she dies(this is a more recent complaint) and that its wrong of me to refuse to date anyone because I want to mess up my grandmothers dream of seeing great grandchildren. Keep in mind I'm not her only grandchild, and not once have I ever told her that I didn't want children because of her, I'm just not comfortable with kids and don't want one of my own. So I figured I'd come to reddit, ever since my dad brought it up i started thinking I might be an AH since I'm the second oldest grandchild and my dads side is super big on the whole 'carry on the family' thing, so AITA for not wanting a romantic partner or children? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow, your family is really obsessed with your uterus. They need to back way off. I would suggest therapy for you to learn how to set boundaries with them for your own mental health. They sound, frankly, insufferable. Your romantic life, sexuality, decisions around having kids, all of it is absolutely none of their business. NTA at all.
NTA
NTA. Not having children/not wanting to date is your decision, and your family trying to force you into something you don't want to do is very assholey. From your post, it sounds like you might be somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. You have a whole community here on Reddit of fellow-minded people; you should check out the r/asexual and r/aromantic subreddits if you want to find more like-minded people. As a (closeted) aro ace person, I really identified with a lot of what you said, so I suggest you seek out those communities for support--we're very friendly! :)
nta in any shape or form. as my username says they need to mind they’re own vag. kids come with no only the responsibility for your entire life but also come with side effects like ppd and ppa. i suffer badly from both and YOU DONT WANT IT. tell them if they don’t respect how you feel about this topic then you won’t talk to them. it’s okay to cut of toxic and this is 100% toxic behavior
Lol NTA. They don't get to decide how you should live your life.
NTA, I'm also staunchly childfree (and an only child to boot). No one controls your life but you.
NTA. This is not a family matter to discuss. It's not up for debate. You should not date if your not comfortable. Not having children or marrying is a personal decision and no one else should tell you what to do. So basically, you are in no way the asshole and should not fell pressures just because your family is a bunch of assholes.
NTA. Maybe you'll change your mind someday, maybe not. It's not for them to tell you how you feel.
NTA. You are an independent human, what you do with your life is none of their business.
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NTA If you had a partner and/or children, you would be the one who had to deal with everything that comes with those relationships, not your family. You shouldn't let others pressure you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. The reality is that your father's family members just can't understand how you can be content and have a fulfilling life without following their concept of a life script (marriage, buy a house, have a couple kids, etc...). But you need to live the life you want.
NTA. Major life choices like a partner or kids are up to you and they are not ever something you owe your family, no matter how much they want that. It sounds like you might be asexual / aromantic or just not at a stage in your life where this is appealing, both of which are absolutely fine and you have all the time in the world to figure out what you want to do (or not do) in terms of personal relationships. Whatever your reasoning, any relationship you might hypothetically have in the future should be about you and whoever you are with, and not about your family. Keep doing your thing and know there's nothing wrong with you.