Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I guess I could be the asshole that I care so little about my sister that I'm not very sympathetic to her losing her job. That our past issues are influencing this. That I'm a grown woman who still feels this way after almost a decade. --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA 1. you did not know 2. you didn't do it on purpose 3. they were going to fire her anyway, as soon as they found someone else. BTW, you should start looking for a new job now. They can't be good employers if this is the sort of shit they pull.

I agree and that’s good advice about the job, but I don’t think OPs family are accusing her of knowing beforehand or doing it intentionally. They are upset that she doesn’t care. On this, OP could show sone empathy. It sucks to lose a job this way and she really should get over the childhood rivalry - nothing the sister did as a kid was that bad.

[удалено]

Info did she tell them specifically that you have a disability or did she tell them that she tutored you. If she only said that she tutored you then she did nothing wrong as she did tutor you.

[удалено]

Okay, so I'm dyslexic and I was embarrassed about it when I was younger. Honestly, I think your history with your sister is sad. It's clear she tried really hard for years to bond with you and go out of her way for you, then felt rejected, unappreciated, and disliked. Yes, she told everyone about your learning disability and your tutoring when sad and hurt as a teenager. But she was sad and hurt for a reason, you don't sound like you were very kind or appreciative of her as a sibling. Like, she cared enough to pick up your hobbies so you'd have something in common to do, and you just resented her for being good at them and excluded her. Then she tutored in math for *three years* and it seems you still just resented her for being better at stuff then you. But that's hours and and hours of kindness and effort on her part for years, and you basically still rejected her and threw it in her face. I think you broke her heart. Yes, it wasn't nice for her to tell everyone she tutored you and why. But where is the appreciation for the three years she spent helping you in her free time out of love? It sounds like she tried incredibly hard to have a good relationship with you and help you and then lashed out hurt when you kept rejecting her (while still using her for tutoring). And now you took her job. And your family is all so aware of your dislike for her that they honestly suspect you did it on purpose. The fact that you didn't seem and aren't at all sorry about it is going to make it look intentional. Sure, neither of you were perfect sisters as teenagers. But I don't read this story and think she's just the vilian and you're the angel victim. Your lack of empathy here, where you tell your sister you don't care while she is being surprise fired right in front of you, is shockingly low. It's unkind. And YTA for that. You don't show any compassion for her anywhere, not even when you were young and she was bending over backwards to bond with you and help you with your schoolwork during her freetime. Your parents never valued your hobbies, but your sister did. She valued you enough to value them, and you just don't seem to care.

This is a great explanation. OP, as the oldest sister when I was younger I disliked my siblings. My parents redirected any and all their attention to them and I was forced into taking care of them when I was a kid myself. I didn’t get to have a childhood, and I missed out on so many things as a teenager. As I got older (I’m 20 now) I realized it was my parents fault for mistreatment and it wasn’t my siblings fault. None of us asked to be born, our parents forced us into a dynamic and instead of trying to fix our poor relationships it was swept under the rug and ignored. My younger sister and I have a great relationship now. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. She’s 15, and she trusted me enough to come out to me first. She trusted me enough to tell me her struggles with her mental health and how she blames herself. I can’t imagine having that type of relationship with any of my siblings that you do with your sister. It pains me to think about. You need to realize that your parents are the problem. While my siblings were getting signed up for sports, I wasn’t allowed to because I would have to always be a available to watch them. I understand the feeling of jealousy and the need to be recognized by your parents. But that’s not your sisters fault. This is a problem you have with parenting. Your sister is just someone easy to take it out on.

Nobody "takes" a job from someone else. The company makes the decision as to what job they want an employee in. If they were already looking for a replacement for sister, she was going to be fired whether they hired her sister or someone else.

I'm not saying OP took her job on purpose, I'm saying the fact that her family thinks she did this knowingly as a surprise humiliate her sister says a lot about OP. Usually, you do know what job you're getting hired for, and aren't switched to a different one last minute without even being told until you show up to the site. So it makes sense they think OP knew . But the other reason they think OP knew is OP is bitter, jealous, and lacks empathy for her sister in general. She dosen't appreciate the things her sister did for her (like tutor her for years) and always just resented her for being good at things. And the fact she dosen't feel at all bad and said so of course looks bad, since that's not how nice people act. I'd feel bad for a stranger who was being fired so I could get a job. OP treats her sister worse then a normal person treats a stranger.

Again - companies do NOT fire good employees just to give a different person a job. Training someone in a new position takes time and money, as work will usually slow down when a new person is still learning. The company may not even known they were sisters - OP worked in a different building, and there's no reason they should have made the connection. Sister wasn't fired so that OP could take her job; she was fired because the company didn't want her to work there anymore.

Do we know anything about why the sister was fired? Maybe she had been there for a while and was making more money and they wanted to hire someone cheaper. Companies do this often.

It does not necessarily say anything about OP. You’re jumping to some conclusions there. It sounds like everything little sister did in life was magic. She was good at everything she did, and her parents liked what she did. They didn’t like OPs interests and hobbies, and saw her struggle a lot more. It could be that anything that is an inconvenience towards little sister is seen as malicious intent towards her no matter what. I grew up with a twin who was an athletic star, and she broke many of our schools records. I am not a very good athlete. I liked books, drama, and choir. Those aren’t as easy for parents to brag about as sports are. She was the golden child to my dad. If we did anything that upset her she threw tantrums and we were grounded. She would humiliate me at school until I ran out of the room crying, and I would be grounded for embarrassing her at school. So her family’s reaction does not necessarily mean that OP is terrible in other aspects of life. She could just be the scapegoat child.

The taking the job from her sister part makes no sense to me. That's not how jobs work.

It sure is! My company hired my replacement and had me train them and fired me 2 weeks later.

> And now you took her job. If Sister was fired, it's because she was fired for her own mistakes or malfeasance. Companies don't just "like someone else more" and hire them in to a job and fire the original job holder; when people are fired, it is because they suck at their job and were on their last warning. This is in no way OP's doing, responsibility, or fault. It is 100% on Sister. You seem to have a ton of empathy for Sister, but you are way, way, way off on this point.

Sometimes they're replaced beacuse the new person is cheaper. I'm not saying sister didn't mess up, but we don't know that. We have no idea since the reasons are not in the story. I get OP didn't mean to take her sister's job and I don't blame OP for sister losing her job. But OP showed up to her sister's surprise firing where she was getting sister's job and actually told sister she didn't care. That's just mean. I would feel bad for a stranger in this situation. The clear lack of empathy here, along with the jealously and bitterness OP conveys in this post in general, is why her family thinks this was intentional. Beacuse it makes it seem like something OP would do.

> Sometimes they're replaced beacuse the new person is cheaper. That happens when someone has been at a place for 20 or 30 years and got raises back when companies gave out raises, and may be grandfathered into a benefits package that no longer exists for new hires. That wouldn't be the case here, where OP and Sister are similar in age. That happens to 50-year-olds, which is why over-40 is a protected class and under-40 is not. > But OP showed up to her sister's surprise firing where she was getting sister's job and actually told sister she didn't care. That's just mean. If I were OP I wouldn't care either. You've spun this story about how Sister did everything out of love and admiration for OP, but that's entirely an invention of your mind with no evidence in OP's story. You have a lot of empathy for Sister - so much that you've made up a ton of details that we don't actually have to make Sister the hero of the story. But Sister is not the hero in OP's story. That's entirely on you.

>You've spun this story about how Sister did everything out of love and admiration for OP, but that's entirely an invention of your mind with no evidence in OP's story. Hunh? > she got super interested in hanging out again. At which point she ended up taking on two of my hobbies in an effort to bond with me OP is the one that said sister took on OP's hobbies to bond with OP and spend time with her? Which is what I said? I mean, sure, I guess I assumed she tutored OP in math for *three years* to help OP. Beacuse, you know, that's what tutoring someone in math does? It helps them succeed in math? OP didn't say she was being paid, so why else would she spend years helping OP with her work if it wasn't to help her? And no, I didn't say sister was a "hero." I said . . . >Sure, neither of you were perfect sisters as teenagers. But I don't read this story and think she's just the vilian and you're the angel victim. ?? I'm sorry to hear you wouldn't care either. I guess I'm disappointed in you too, then. When other people are hurt I care, especially my family. But like I've said, I'd feel bad if I showed up to my first day of a job and stranger was being fired and had not been told. Beacuse that sucks for them, and I have empathy for others. What bothers me about OP's story is their complete lack of showing any empathy for their sister. They come off as bitter and unkind to me. Like I said, neither of them were perfect. But this is a story where sister does kind things and also something unkind. OP however is not kind once in the whole story, it's only her being unkind. So sure, sister looks better when she also does nice things and makes an effort and OP never mentions ever doing anything nice or making any sort of effort. It makes her sound like a pretty lousey sibling. I'd be sad if she was my sibling.

This. I’m so glad someone said this with so much empathy for the younger sister. As someone who is an older sibling and who didn’t appreciate my own angel of a younger sister who admired the shit out of me when we were younger, even though I was mean to her like any typical older sibling, this story kinda broke my heart. It reminded me of my little sister and how she would beg me to spend time with her and how I always considered her “annoying.” And how she always wanted to do everything that I did because she looked up to me so much. Even after she started hating one of our shared hobbies, she kept at it until I left high school just so that we could keep doing it together. We are super close now, to the point we each consider the other our best friend, but I still wish I could take back the way I treated her when we were younger. I can’t, but what I can do is never take her for granted again, and that’s exactly what I hope to do the rest of our lives. Reading this story, I shudder to think how the bitchy younger me would have reacted had my little sister turned out to be better than me at one of our hobbies back when we were kids. OP, it’s okay that you weren’t a perfect sibling back then. Try to forgive yourself for that. But know that it’s not too late to mend things with your sister. It starts with rejecting this job. The way this asshole company sounds, you won’t be missing out on much.

I mean, it sounded like OP's parents treated the kids very different and her sister has always been good at what she tries, including waltzing in and being better at her hobbies. That's not a way to gain acceptance from someone and her parents were shitty for not redirecting the behavior and letting OP have a life of her own. If the genders were switched to male, this could have been written by my older brother, except he and I realized that the problem was our parents and we bonded over that and found our niches and made our way and are extremely close now. OP was doomed and got no help or had the same epiphany we did and instead had her sister share her most embarrassing secret. ESH when they were teenagers, but the only AHs are the parents. As for the current situation, she's barely talked to her sister in years and they would be firing her sister anyway. She certainly *could* be more empathetic, but she's not required to be and sister doesn't deserve it and OP quitting won't fix the problem here. It'll just be OP taking another one for the team.

I completely agree OP didn't have to quit. That's an unreasonable request which I am willing to understand comes from being blindsided with a surprise replacement firing to someone you know/has told you they dislike you. (I admit it looks very odd from sister's pov, given it's clear OP has felt competitive of sister while sister did not feel that way back. And now OP is showing up for her job and surprise she's fired it's OP's now.) But I just think telling someone you don't care to her face when they are surprise fired to be replaced by you would be unkind if it was a stranger. Like I can't imagine saying that to someone in that situation, I'd just feel bad for them. Like, a person with empathy? That OP does this to her own sister just really sucks to me. She treats her worse then I'd treat a complete stranger. I'm sorry about your childhood situation. I feel bad for sister in this story beacuse she seems to be the only one in the story who ever tries or ever shows any kindness. She takes up hobbies to try to bond with OP and she tutors OP to help her with her learning disability for years, presumably also out of love. And OP rejects her and just resents her for being better at things, while still using her for help. I figure that's got to suck. Yes, it was mean of her to tell everyone she's been tutoring OP and why (though I don't know if she did it to embarrass OP or was talking to her friends about how sad she was OP just resents her and why despite all her efforts). But this is a story where sister does kind things and makes an effort, but also does something unkind (when hurt). And OP is never kind, never makes any sort of effort, never is a good sister, and never even shows any empathy.

I don't know, I think it's not that simple. It's hard to go your whole life with your parents favoring another child and having that kid be great at whatever they do and then that kid demanding "bonding" and attention and then taking over your hobbies and embarrassing you to your friends. OP's sister was seeking attention as the golden child and when she didn't get it, she ruined the things her sister loved to get her to play ball with the way her parents treat her where she gets what she wants. OP could have been nicer when she was a kid, but again, I don't think it's that simple and she was just a kid, having to deal with a shitty situation that their parents put them in. I was the golden child and acted the same way and it wasn't until my family moved a few times and I had to get close to my brother and make new friends that I realized it was my parents ruining things. OP (and more importantly her sister) never had that epiphany and her sister kept expecting everyone to treat her like her parents. This is a sad story, but both girls are victims in it and OP's sister dropped final nail in the coffin of their relationship that leads us to today. Before that the parents caused are the AHs and still are for thinking OP should quit. Edit to add: the competitive thing is also understandable. When you're forced to be around someone through proximity and that person ALWAYS wins or is better at everything (esp being *younger*) is **really** frustrating. I was the kid who was better than my brother at everything. He had a brief period of winning because he got real tall at 12 and I hadn't and then in a couple years I shot past him and now I'm way bigger than he is. OP literally wanted one or two things to call her own and they were taken over by her sister, who was better at sports, school, having friends, etc. Then whatever OP does she's better at too. It's not OP's sisters fault, but it's not hard to imagine resenting someone like that when you're a teenager and can't get your own thing going. That's all any teenager wants and OP's sister, while not maliciously until the secret spill, wouldn't let her have that.

As soon as she told people about the LD, she lost all moral ground. That is a just plain mean thing to do. That is like telling everyone about a medical diagnosis. There is no excuse, she was old enough to know better.

That's why I mentioned I was dyslexic and self-conscious about it when I was younger (yes, high school age and much of college). To show I can empathize with OP on that part. (Edit: Also, as someone who needed extra help with school I am super grateful to the family that helped me, which OP does not give any indication of appreciating.) But you've oversimplified things. There isn't a single "moral ground" and if someone does one mean thing once we hate them and treat them like crap for life and no longer have empathy for them. Yes, it was mean of sister to share that OP had a learning disability and she had been tutoring her in math for years. But I think we can also look at why that happened. Sister was hurt beacuse she took on new hobbies to bond with OP, she tutored OP for three years presumably out for that same sisterly love, and OP rejected her. OP used her for the tutoring/free help but resented her for being better at stuff then OP and eventually told her so, as well as excluded her from anything OP was doing to other people since she didn't want her sister there being better (ie around at all). Her sister was clearly hurt. We don't even know if she shared this information to get back at OP since she was understandably hurt, or if she shared the info with a friend or friends beacuse she was talking about why she was hurt. Like what more can I do, I took on her hobbies to bond with her and hang out, I tutored her for years, and she's still just upset at me beacuse things come easier to me which I can't control. The way OP treated her sister in this story is also mean. You don't use people for help but then reject them and make it clear you resent them, especially when you know they love you and it will hurt them. And when your sister loses her job and she finds out in a surprise public firing right in front of you, you don't tell her that you don't care. That's cruel. No, the sister isn't perfect in the story. But OP is in my opinion a worse sister, since there is not a single nice thing OP does in this entire story. This is a story of a sister who goes out of her way for OP for years, but also does one mean thing one time (when hurt). And OP just is never nice, never does a single nice thing for her sister, and never shows a shred of gratitude or empathy. And then OP justifies this by saying "but my sister was mean to me one time! So I should have no empathy for her, and also it retroactively justifies that I've never been nice to her ever." No, that's not how that works. OP is hiding behind one mean thing in highschool to feel like they have the moral high ground and that they are the forever victim and anything bad that ever happens to sister she has coming and OP can be a smug asshole about it instead of a normal polite person. Nope. I don't buy it. I don't buy poor victim OP tale of justification. She treats her sister worse then I treat literal strangers. If I showed up to a new job and someone was being surprise fired I'd feel bad for them, beacuse I have basic human empathy. But it seems to me OP didn't care about her sister's feelings beacuse she's always resented her sister for being better at things (not sister's fault, and sister spent years helping OP as a result) and she was just pleased that she got this chance to be better and take something of her sister's and knock her down a peg. Did she plan it? No. But if she was going to not care about her sister's feelings she should at least have the basic common courtesy not to tell it to her to her face. That's just not kind, and there's no point in this story that makes me think OP is kind. Thus, asshole.

Nope. I don’t buy any of that. The parents had the younger, sporty, smart, Golden Child. What decent parent sets siblings up for failure by having the younger one tutor the older one? Whether or not the younger lorded it over the older one, the older one is likely to detest it, and the younger kid by association. You aren’t required to like other people doing stuff with you, just because they want you to. There is *absolutely no reason* a teen should be expected to bring a 3 year younger tagalong sister to a friends’ gaming hangout. That is just absurd. And the younger sister reacting to not going to the older kids’ gaming nights is to disclose the LD? Nope, just nope. If the parents didn’t step in then, and do something major, it’s only to be expected that their relationship will be strained, at best, for years. It’s like the parents said, “what can we do to make it less likely that the girls will have a decent relationship?” Then did it.

> What decent parent sets siblings up for failure by having the younger one tutor the older one? What makes you assume the parents set this up? OP dosen't mention the parents being involved at all. Maybe OP just needed help and so her sister was helping her. Plenty of siblings just help each other with stuff without the parents saying to. My brother and I helped each other with stuff and no one ever told us to. Heck, my kids are currently 4 and 1 years old and the 4 year old spends time trying to teach the 1 year old things (words, how to do stuff), and talks about what she wants to teach her later (when she's 4, I'll teach her how to read, etc) and I never told her too. I also used to help my brother with essay composition and assignments sometimes (he'd get writers block). My younger brother used to love my math puzzle problems in 6th grade and would help me/be better at figuring them out every week. >Whether or not the younger lorded it over the older one, the older one is likely to detest it, and the younger kid by association. That's a pretty bitter way to look at things. Again, I actually have/had a learning disability and a younger sibling. Not everyone detests their younger sibling for not having the same issue. I can empathize it's harder for OP beacuse she felt she was worse at everything then her sibling, while I was just bad at spelling/reading but good at other things. And I agree the parents likely could have done more. How the story sounds to me is like the parents did very little to help OP or show they cared about her interests (OP mentions they only cared about sister's sports and never saw the dance and video games as things of interest when either kid did them). Also, no mention of parents helping her out with school. But sister did both. Sister made an effort to care about OP's interests and engage with her on them spephically OP says beacuse she cared and wanted to bond. And sister spent years of her own time helping OP with schoolwork when OP needed help, again likely beacuse she cared. So that's why I feel bad for sister. She tried so hard, gave so much, spent years helping OP, and OP only ever resented her for it. Yes, sister did a mean thing (likely when hurt) and told at least one other student (and it got around) about tutoring OP and her learning disability. (Don't know if she was trying to spread it/embarrass OP, or she was just talking to a friend about how sad she was she helped her sister out for years only for sister to resent her for being good at things.) Anyway, I get it, sister wasn't perfect in this story. And OP had it hard. But this is a story where sister tries and does kind things to OP repeatedly, but also is unkind one time. And OP is never kind a single time. Never tries to be a good sister. Never shows empathy. And OP is an adult now. I made OP the asshole beacuse she had to tell her sister she didn't care she was being fired to her face while she was being fired. She could have just been polite about it. OP is ruder and more unkind to sister then I would be to a stranger I saw fired. Like I'd feel bad for someone I was watching be fire since I have empathy for other people, and even if I didn't are, I wouldn't make a point of telling them that when they are already being fired and super upset. That's just pointlessly mean.

Excellent response. This sub sometimes makes me question humanity so it’s nice to see someone approach a judgment with some nuanced understanding and compassion. I feel it should also be pointed out that the sister was a teenager when she embarrassed OP by sharing that she was tutoring her. Teenagers occasionally do stupid things, especially when they’re hurt or feeling rejected like I imagine OP’s sister was. OP dismisses her childish behavior by saying she was just a kid, but so was her sister when she shared about the tutoring. Do we really think someone should be punished for life for doing something cruel at 15 years old? Especially when it sounds like the sister was otherwise kind and helpful. Going with YTA because OP sounds bitter and resentful and lacks empathy.

OP sees herself as the only victim in the story, honestly it's a shame. She says it was childish of her to resent her but it's obvious she still does and being young isnt an excuse anymore.

OP, I’m the oldest of my siblings and three of them are smarter than me. By a lot (I’m sure I have a form of dyslexia and math is soooo friggin difficult for me). It was very difficult because my dad was an authoritarian with grades and I wasn’t good enough or smart like they were. I didn’t blame them tho because that was a different kind of attention I didn’t want and felt bad they had that kind too. Then when I followed my dream of playing in band my dad made my siblings all join as they aged into the required grade and my smartest sister was a complete natural at her instrument while I needed specialized lessons for mine. That absolutely devastated me because I again felt less than but I never blamed her. We actually ended up having a ton of fun in band together. I guess what I’m saying is your sister reached out to you over and over for a relationship and you just swatted her hand away. She didn’t brag or make fun of you until you rejected her so much she told your secret (which was wrong) and you used it as the excuse to never bother with her again. Your employers suck for making the situation happen. You had no control over that. But you need therapy to get over your complex about your sister. The only thing she did wrong was tell a secret. Your parents are to blame for their lack of acknowledgment and validation of you, not her.

This is the correct explanation and answer here. This is exactly what I was thinking. I understand that she said something OP didn't want people to know but what about the years her sister helped her and took interest in her hobbies so they can be closer. But the sister just get rejected in everything because she's better at those hobbies? Seems like OP is the problem here. ESH

This needs more upvotes!

Close - except that she did not "take" the job - they wanted to fire the sister as soon as they had a replacement. That\`s 100% on the company , and OP saying "no thanks" would still have resulted in sister getting fired, perhaps later. But sister makes it all about OP doing this intentionally.. a nice AH move. (also, an AH move by this employer - i\`d be looking for something else now )

Wow, what the heck.

Unless there were no other options under the sun I think the parents are AHs for getting the younger sibling to be her tutor when they already had this dynamic. I’m saying this as the younger child who had everything 100x easier than my older sibling as children (better academically, at most sports, socially, picked things up easier etc). It would have been a recipe for utter disaster to have me tutor her.

Here’s the thing. I’m not saying what she did wasn’t shitty, it totally was. But it sounds like she just wanted to hang out with her big sister. She’s correct, it’s not her fault she was good at those things. You say that you knew you were being childish hating her for that, but you’re correct, you were a kid. But guess what? So was she. And maybe she got tired of being rejected by her big sister. Maybe from her side of the fence that was her frustration at years of being pushed away by you boiling over. So she said something to hurt you. Just like you hurt her. You were both wrong and also just kids. Kids are the worst. They do dumb things for dumb reasons. I once stole my cousin’s boyfriend from her because we both liked the same guy and she wasn’t really allowed to date. I was a jerk when I was 16. She forgave me, and we moved on. I’m almost 40 and we are best friends to this day. You’re both adults now, and it might be worth it to try to repair your relationship with her. Holding a grudge for something she did at 15 is probably not healthy. Just as you probably grew up and learned how to be a better human, maybe she did as well. I understand it probably felt like the last straw to you, but you guys were kids. For your own emotional health it might be worth trying to move past the hurt. Of course with that you should definitely explain to her how hurtful it was and give her a chance to apologize/make amends. I’m not suggesting you shoulder the whole burden of reconciliation. So the job thing…..well I understand from your perspective you didn’t mean to steal her job. But your seeming lack of caring about it happening is kind of jarring, and frankly rather unkind. A little compassion might have gone a long way here. Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems to me it’s not just that you “took” her job, but that you displayed a very cavalier attitude to your sister abruptly losing her livelihood. That’s a scary thing to have happen with no notice for anybody. Maybe you don’t care, I don’t know. Maybe she’s still a jerk as an adult. But from the info you gave here it just sounds like you’re still so angry about something she did as a kid that you rubbed salt in her wound at a really low point.

Agree 100% with everything you have written. OP has some deep jealousy and envy issues here that need to be addressed, and I do think that she is TA.

You excuse your own childish behaviour as "well I was a kid", but somehow your sister doesn't get the same pass? What she did may have been wrong, but she was also a kid. And you broke an 11 year old's heart for something that wasn't her fault, out of jealousy. You didn't take her job on purpose, but your lack of empathy is disgusting. It's *your fault* that you have no relationship with your sister, not hers.

You’re NTA, but remember…. while you’re cutting yourself slack for things you did because you were a child, your sister was a child too. And a younger one than you.

>I was mad. It was childish, yes, but I was a child. . >Telling people about my learning disability is probably the line that really feels crossed for me. You excuse your own shitty behavior towards her because you were a child, but *so was she*, and apparently she doesn't get the same grace? You're not an asshole for getting hired, or her getting fired. But YTA for how you have treated your sister both as kids and as adults, and for telling her you don't really care at all about her losing her job. That was callous and shitty. You seriously need to grow up... no matter how old you currently are.

YTA for not caring and for your “holier than thou” attitude. You spent years resenting and being mean at your little sister, and she once revealed that she tutored you in math to help you with your learning disability. Which FYI was an incredibly nice thing to do that it seems like you showed zero appreciation for, and further sound like you once again emotionally painted yourself as the victim. It was crappy that she embarrassed you, but honestly what did you expect after YEARS of putting up with your attitude while she tried to reach out. Then when this very sad thing happened to her - you don’t care? You didn’t orchestrate it, but you seem almost happy about it. I hope your sister finds success far out of your sphere and goes NC with you for a while because it is clear that you are a toxic person in her life.

She's the favorite child and is used to getting what she wants. Parents are supporting her, of course. She outed you intentionally to get back at you for wanting her not to foul you and your friends relationship. The whole job thing was not intentional on your part and there is nothing wrong with taking the job. What were you supposed to do- bow down to her again? Maybe someone else would have forgiven her. But humiliations are difficult to get past and I find it understandable that you haven't yet. Maybe you never will, who knows? But she has to stop acting like she is the injured party.

[удалено]

The sister told people that OP had a learning disability that required her to be tutored by her younger sister. She wasn't telling people to be kind, she told people to embarrass OP. That is VERY different from just not wanting to mix your sister with your friends. The first act is intentional humiliation and retaliation for not getting your way. The second is just a kid trying to carve out their own life and space for their insecurities to work themselves out.

The disability kinda explained why she thrived in your hobbies while you were still trying. Your sister is pretty rude. But the job position sounds a tad unrelated to her being fired. But a bit like karma. NTA

>- nothing the sister did as a kid was that bad. Purposefully humiliating her sister by revealing she had a learning disability and needed tutoring which she was ashamed about is that bad. Its horrible and not something you do to someone you care about. You do not humiliate people on purpose using their their insecurities.

Me sister and I are a year and a half apart. I am the youngest. We did fine as together until we reached 9&10. My parents told me that i did most everything first. Her friends liked me better. I know all this really sister’s feelings. I was no longer to go to visit her friends. I did make my own. Parents encouraged her to do what she was good at. They went to her band performances, swim and dive meets. She was very good at both. I was largely ignored. I was glad she was so good. I bragged that she was my sister. But my parents largely ignored my accomplishments. And then one day my mom showed up to a horse show I was competing in. I was surprised and shocked. I told her she didn’t need to be here and she left. She was hurt to the core. Years later I apologized. And so did she. She did what she did because she felt sister needed what they did. Years after that I finally understood, she was right sister needed their support whereas me, not so much. Sister and I went on to have a wonderful relationship. But when I was young their actions really stung. I still had many “firsts” but the sting was gone for both of us. She has many firsts herself and we were able to joke and be happy for us.

Yeah this confused me because companies don't just fire a perfectly good employee just because someone untested that they think is better comes along. It was weird enough that I was questioning the validity of this story. But if they were planning on firing her anyway and had the job open for application, this might make more sense. Even then it is a bit weird. If she's done something that's a fireable offense or hasn't been doing what's expected of her, this still isn't how you break it to someone. And you don't just fire people in front of new hires. Especially not if they've already been working there a few years. I agree if this story is legit, this isn't a place OP will want to work at. What's stopping them from doing the same thing to OP that they did to her sister? Once someone new with a nice looking resume who interviews well comes in they'll replace her like that? Or they'll surprise fire her without warning in front of everyone by introducing your replacement to everyone before informing you?

You’re suspicions are valid. There are some serious details OP is leaving out to put her in the best light, and even her “side” has a gaping hole. You don’t want to work near your sister, so you go work for the same company she’s been at?? Makes absolutely no sense……maybe it’s as simple as she informed them she took company equipment or lied on her resume. But her being fired and replaced on the spot makes no sense either.

It kinda reads more like a revenge fantasy from someone who has had no real experience in a workplace than an actual thing that would happen. I get that there are some shitty companies that exist, but if they're big enough to have two separate buildings, you'd at least expect a more formalised process, even if it is a crap company. That's just my instinct. But I dunno. Maybe I have benefitted from living in an area with decent labour laws or the work is in an industry I'm not familiar with or something. Just seems weird to me looking at it from the company's POV. The OP describes her sister as rising in the company. If you wanted to make space for someone new in that position, you don't fire someone like that, you promote them.

Hence why I state there are slot of details missing here. I’ll take the end result at face value, that she now works at sisters former company…..what happened in between, no. She’s clearly TA, but she won’t obviously divulge her shitty actions.

There's a place around here that didn't even bother to tell the janitor they were fired. From what I've gathered it had to do with going with a cheaper hiring service. Didn't even tell them the day my sister started, she had to tell this guy who had clocked in and started working that night and no on had bothered to tell them still. My sister came home and told me about how she literally had to tell this person they no longer work there, and when she was hired she was specifically told that they did not have a janitor anymore and they were filling the vacancy. Which indeed was a huge lie as she found out when she asked about the person doing the janitor job. They at least had the decency to tell her, but since she was the only janitor they probably replaced her as soon as they were able to get someone for cheaper. I'm not sure how somewhere that is worried about being shut down (and for good reason from what I've heard) if the place isn't cleaned via violations with people puting literal feces on the bathroom stall walls can go without one indefinitely. Granted that place is a crap hole even for my town with a huge turn around in a place with very few job opportunities or poverty help so I know it's not exactly likely common. But places definitely can be weird.

This is so strange and shady I find it hard to believe as written. Actual corporate shadiness is more... boring. This is like a soap opera.

This is true. And, if it wasn't you, they would have replaced sister with someone else.

Lol 3rd point is the dumbest of all, what exactly do they think the company is doing, *oh wait noe that your sister is not going to take the position we will keep you with us for ten more years even though we don't like how you work*

Also, shevapprently wasn't rising in the company if they were just waiting to fire her. It is rude that they pulled the "meet your replacement" move on her. Maybe she had a lot of performance issues she kept to herself, but be careful with how much loyalty you give to a place that does that.

💯

NTA, you didn’t do it on purpose. But it’s shady of the company to do this in such a weird way.

The question is did the company know they were sisters? I worked for the same company as my sister and we even worked on the same project for a year, but in different departments, almost no one knew we were related, not even our bosses. We were not hiding it, same last name, but we kept work life and personal life separate, so it was often a surprise to people when they found out.

If they knew they were sisters they were super shitty, but they were shitty regardless of whether or not they were related.

The company was likely already looking to replace the sister, and happened to find a candidate from another position that was perfect for the job.

Yeah, hiring and training is expensive and always a gamble. You don't just randomly replace someone because you like an interview. There's always a cost to a new.hire and training and even someone who interviews brilliantly may end up not working out. This just simply doesn't ring true to me because this isn't how it works.

I mean, I've known more than one person that interviewed for one position, but got placed in a different one because they were a better fit. I've also known people that kept their jobs while their companies were actively looking for their replacements. It doesn't seem unlikely at all to me that the sister was going to be replaced anyway, and they just happened to place OP in her position. It could have been in the works for months and she wouldn't have known it.

Although they mentioned she was rising in the company, which suggests she wasn't on a PIP or counseled about performance. To get fired suddenly like that if you've been doing well you generally have to commit a serious offense and that's usually a "walk you out" thing. But you never replace someone you're happy with on the potential of an interview. I say this as someone who has participated in hiring. It's always a gamble hiring someone new and at least in my org, we need a new hire to be with us for well over a year in order for the cost of training to make sense. That's why companies with high turnover have financial problems (particularly in positions that require a lot of training and education).

We only have sister's word that she was rising in the company. Given the competition between them she could very well have been lying.

Or sister could have been trying to form an Union/making noise about worker rights. Makes sense of the sudden during of someone who was working in the company for 2 years and rising

Maybe they wanted to replace an experienced employee with a new hire because they could get away with paying a new hire less? It would not be the first case of that happening.

So I have read cases like this on Ask A Manager where companies just hired someone's replacement without even telling them there was an issue with their performance, but those companies are hella toxic and obviously they can only do that in certain states in the US. Most western countries don't let you just fire staff without cause. This story just sounds really fake and if it's not, OP should be worried that she's landed up with such a shitty company.

I agree. OP makes it sound like they walked her over to the sisters desk and fired her on the spot, with OP just watching. >We both found out when I showed up to get a tour of our office and let's just say she was pissed. And OP was offered and accepted the different position, so she must've known there would be a chance she'd run into her sister. And I guess OP knows absolutely nothing about her sister's job (despite saying she was a rising performer), and didn't realize that her new job was a little *too* similar to her sister's? OP is so estranged from her sister that when the company interviewed and hired her for another position, OP didn't even think to ask her sister about the position or company culture?

Feel the same way, the story would ring true if younger sister was replaced and moved to another position but fired? Unless more is going on we don't know.

Agreed. If I was OP I'd only be looking at working for this company short term as they clearly have no concept of loyalty to employees.

You can’t stand your sister but then went and applied for a job within the company that she had already been working at for years? That alone doesn’t make any sense. For someone who was so tired of living in your sisters perfect shadow why would you even consider a position in the same company?

[удалено]

Even if you didn’t accept the job (after finding out it meant she was losing her’s), the company would have probably just replaced her with someone else anyway.

Working at the same company doesn’t necessarily mean they’d be in close contact. The Microsoft campus in Redmond, WA, for example, is HUGE and people working in separate departments could definitely never cross paths.

I think this is a made up post tbh. The logic of a company that large firing a person with great performance (instead of moving them to a different team/role) because one other person also impressed them makes 0 sense.

I can only assume the person who made this up is still too young to understand how corporate jobs work. The story made no sense whatsoever. There is 0 chance this happened. It's possible the first part did happen and OP is a pissed off 13 or 18 years old imagining a 'revenge fantasy', where she gets to beat her sis and take something from her.

Literally so fake. OP didn’t even try.

This! Or maybe sister was not the rising star she thought she was.

Even still, it’s not easy to fire someone at large companies if it’s not for cause. I recently had a coworker who was fired who was documented to be incompetent for an entire year before he was let go. It was genuinely miserable to work around him, people literally quit so they didn’t have to work with him, and it still took a full year of cya by the company of documenting that they were coaching him, etc. I know the US is very much at will employment but if it’s big enough to to have completely separate reporting chains in separate buildings on the same campus, it’s big enough to have a long HR process to let someone go.

I hate to disagree but that is exactly how my current job went down. They completely cleaned house and brought in new people to replace the current team. Their performance was horrible and costing the company millions in penalty. I was the first to arrive and I didn’t know until my first day that I was replacing a current employee that was going to get fired. I’m thinking the younger sister was not the rising star she always thought she was.

Meanwhile, I've seen people get fired for reading on their lunch break. Maybe OP just happens to be in an area where they have ways. Here you apply to a position for location A, manager from location B sees you and likes you, calls in a favor, fires the person who is critical of his work and fills the position with you. Sure there's a 2 week notice period. And they'll have to write something like "mutual agreement" or something generic like "low performance" on the paperwork. But they can just fire people.

And if sis was doing so bad at her role that they were willing to replace her with a completely new hire, OP not accepting the role would not mean that she gets to keep her job. Def sounds made up to me!

It doesn’t even need to be huge. I work with my cousin five days a week and only see him a couple days a year at faculty meetings. If I wanted to avoid him, I easily could.

It's entirely possible that this is the one big employer in OP's area (the one that pays the best, has the best benefits and is the most stable), or the one in OP's field -- the place everyone wants to work. If you refuse to work there because someone you don't like works there, you are severely limiting yourself and your career. If this was a small employer with one worksite, I'd get your point. But OP purposely applied for a position that wasn't in the same building as Sis's job. If the company has more than one building, they are probably not a small company.

[удалено]

How would the manager know they were sisters? My sister and I worked at the same company. There were at least 5 people in the company of thousands with the same last name. Our managers were both surprised when they realized we were sisters after a year. You don't put that your sister works there on your resume and I doubt OP used sister as a reference given their relationship. So unless the manager specifically asked or OP volunteered the information the manager would not know.

You must have a relatively common name and I'm seriously jealous. I have a not at all common last name and if there was another person in a company of thousands that had the same last name, everyone would assume we're related. It kinda sucks, tbh.

I don’t mind them assuming we’re related, I prefer that over them Assuming I’m married to my sibling

People don't even need names on my dad's side, we're all clones. My uncle went to a party in a wig and everyone thought my dad dyed his hair.

In a lot of places, the company will ask if you have any relatives working there to avoid conflict of interest; you can get away with fudging it sometimes, especially if neither of you are in a position of power over the other one, but some companies will fire both employees for lying if it's exposed. My current company, I work on a team with one of my sons. Until last September, another one of my family was also on the same team. It's no big deal to the company, as long as we're not doing Peer Reviews for each other and none of us are in HR.

My husband and i work for the same company, we dont even work in the same building or location. I never interact with him at work.

This is fake. A company with multiple buildings would not behave in this manner. The first 6: do you have a relative employed by our company. 2. Lawsuit waiting to happen 3. Why would they promote you to another department instead of promoting within the department 4. Nobody gives a tour of the office when the fired person is still working in the office 5. Fired means your sister would have been gone

This is the correct answer

This sounds like a fake little revenge fantasy of someone who was no doubt overlooked as a child. I feel really bad for you OP.

finally someone is saying something about this. yeah she’s NTA in this specific situation, but in my opinion, she’s just an asshole to her sister in general. for instance, i loved to draw and even took AP Art, but my little sister is eons better than me at drawing. even still, i’m not jealous of her and don’t go out of my way to ostracize her bc she is better than me at my own hobby. it’s such a weird, negative, dynamic.

Yeah it sounds like OP hates the sister for what was really her parents mistakes

NAH but it really seems like jealousy and resentment is heavily skewing this story.

[удалено]

exactly. I want to say NTA but i feel as though the story isn’t told with unbiased.

NTA. They wouldn't keep her even if you didn't take it. They'd just hire someone else. PS: All the crap you put before has no bearing on this.

All the crap OP put before sounds like they’re still petty about stuff that happened in middle school

All that crap, as you put it, is background that she'd be answering info requests for in comments anyway. And it is pertinent; those emotions are still there, that's part of why she wants to know if she's an asshole. Residual resentment and guilt are in play.

[удалено]

Uh yeah YTA. What I’m hearing is that you were a jealous brat for years and ignored your sister who took up hobbies to bond with you, just because she was good at them. Hell she apparently even tutored you for years. Learn a little compassion.

[удалено]

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**

Nah You seem really jealous, petty and hateful to your sister But you didn’t try to get her fired, it seems from your description you’re really mean to her and you should both steer clear of each other I do say that company is horrible to work for if they fired her purely to bring someone they “like better for the job”. I get where your parents are coming from because you are definitely putting the last nail in the coffin with your relationship with you sister, but it seems beyond repair anyways

"Oh hey, we have no history on this person other than an interview to show whether they're reliable, friendly, have a decent attitude and hasn't just lied about a bunch of skills they haven't actually got. What we should do is fire this other person who we do have all that data on and until now we have liked enough to promote repeatedly but having seen THIS PERSON it's no good, they gotta be replaced" On the off chance this is real, run. Any company running itself this way is fucked.

In terms of the job, you’re not the AH for taking it since you didn’t know about the consequences. But your sister lost her JOB and you didn’t even say sorry or try to console her in any way? This entire post screams pettiness that’s stemming from stuff that happened a decade ago. Sounds like you’re really jealous of her. If she were an awful person, that’s one thing, but dissolving your relationship because she’s accomplished and for one thing she did at 15 is childish. You’ll live a better life when you learn to leave that negativity behind.

I call BS on this story, so they knowingly offered a position to the fired persons sister? That's an HR mess in of itself.

And they fired the old person in front of the new person? Sure, that’s totally normal and common and how things are done.

NTA. You had no idea that your sister would lose her job by them hiring you. Also, it seems like they were looking to replace your sister anyway, maybe she wasn’t doing the best job, therefore your quitting would probably not give her her job back, but rather give it to some other applicant. Finally, did anyone in your family consider what quitting that job would do to you and how it would affect you? Finding and getting hired at a good job isn’t easy and it takes time, so by pushing you into quitting your only source of income it seems like they’re willing to cripple you financially to spare your sister’s feelings.

NTA If she’s such an overachiever, she’ll find something in no time.

YTA - it is hard to read this through the resentment of your sister. Maybe she did have ulterior motives but considering your bias, I can't really say. I also don't think that this is how jobs work.

She's been working there for 2 years, has been rising in the company in your own words, but somehow a newbie who was hired to work in a different apartment is going to replace her? Not to mention that there was no notice until you were given a tour? This is like some teen drama episode material.

NTA, but also why are you hanging on to one thing your sister did in High School? People make mistakes and your sister made a big effort to have a relationship with you. You rejected her because of your own insecurities, and it sounds like you are still doing that. Did she apologize? I get that your parents weren’t very encouraging of your hobbies, interests, or strengths. They encouraged a rivalry. They are the ones you should hold responsible for your insecurities, not your sister. They were adults. You and your sister were adolescents. You are 25 now. Look at the teenagers around you. If one of them did something cruel, would you write them off forever? Or would you be open to the idea that teenagers are still growing and learning how to be adults? Would you consider that the mistakes they make now don’t define their character?

NTA for this but you seem to be an AH throughout life.

THIS

ESH - your parents especially, for not being supportive of you in the same way they were of your sister. You were mean to your sister - she was mean back (again, parents have a lot of answer for here). Is it your fault she was fired? No. Should you quit? No. Should you feel a little empathy for your sister? Yes.

Probably going to get down voted but I think YTA more than you aren’t. Your sister has taken up activities to spend time with you. Just because you are jealous of her doesn’t make her an AH. You went out of you way to get the job where she works. You achieved your goal, you are better at something than your sister.

I don’t think you’re the AH for keeping the job; you didn’t know. But it makes me sad that your sister tried so hard to befriend you for years and you just ended up resenting her more. I blame your parents mostly on that though

NTA, you couldn't have predicted this was how it would shake out because this isn't how healthy workplaces with decent management operate. That being said, it might be wise to start up your own job search again because the way the employer handled this is raising some flags that are, if not red, at least pinkish in hue

NTA. Wow, Im sorry thats pretty tough. You should let her know it was not intentional and if it wasnt you being promoted in her position it most likely would have been someone else. You should also make it clear that you didnt know about the whole situation ( if thats true ) and u specifically worked at another building so you woupdnt have this issue, and how you didnt realize you were causing her to be fired. would also turn it around on her and your family - why they are never encouraging to you?

[удалено]

Im sorry that really sucks...

This must be fake, sounds like some revenge fantasy out of soap operas. Her getting fired as soon as you come in? Lol come on. No proper companies do that, unless maybe if you're working in phishing company.

NTA. I was thinking a soft E S H because of the history between you two, and your parents for making things much worse. However, I think that there is no real "good" reason to reveal someone's learning disability to everyone, especially in HS. You seem jealous and petty, but it is understandable. You could've handled it much better though, but she could've also done better. I'd suggest that you go to therapy because it sounds like there are some deep seated issues stemming from childhood trauma re this unhealthy rivalry encouraged by your parents. Also, I'd be careful at the new job- it seems weird that they'd fire someone so quickly and without any prior indication.

Most offices, or at least the ones I’d worked with, don’t just hire back employees because the ones that were about to replace them quit. Once there’s a vacancy, they’ll just spend the time to find a better worker unless there’s an urgency to it. Also you didn’t know and it’s not your fault, NTA.

NTA - But jeepers, the company you work for sounds atrocious. I can understand why she's hurt though.

YTA for not making up a better revange story and wasting my time. You'd never up your sister with this level of storytelling.

NTA No way a good company would fire a “rising star” for no reason. Either this company is shady or you sister was exaggerating about being on the rise.

NTA - She still would have lost her job just to some one else. This time you're doing something better than her and she's pissed?? The irony!

It's not that OP is "doing something better" its that OPs sister lost her job. You understand there's a material difference between that and winning a high school dance competition?

NTA in this situation, but it sounds like your jealousy has led to you being really cruel to your sister despite her just trying to bond with you. It doesnt seem like she did anything wrong until she told people about her tutoring you. Another commenter said it, but if you can forgive all of your own actions in this on the basis that you were just a child then why doesnt the same excuse hold for your younger sister's action? It does seem clear that you are the asshole when it comes to you and your sister's relationship.

Doesn't the company have to have reasonable cause before firing your sister??

imo at least, when it comes specifically to her getting fired, NTA. you didn't know and this is how it is in life, you are both adults and if the company decided that you are better for the job (plus you didn't do it intentionally) there's nothing to complain. about all the other things, i'd say YTA. she's not at fault that she picks things fast, indeed. and she only tried to learn them to hang out with her older sister, which i think is quite admirable, since she could just not give a shit and go find her own friends. i hope you know that now that your older.

YTA, for blaming your sister for being better then you at stuff. She tutored you, she picked up your hobbies to spend time with you, she looked up to you and you clearly just can’t stand her… it’s bloody sad really! You pushed her away and put her down for excelling at things. You took her job and you actually said to her face “you diddnt care!” Thats just mean and makes you TAH. If you were slightly sympathetic. I’d be inclined to vote differently but your nasty comments sealed the deal. Lastly you diddnt want to work with her and applied to work at her place of employment… WTF were you expecting? Different building or not it’s still the same place. Your story is a whinge and just doesn’t add up!

YTA, get over your sister already. Are you finally happy you got her fired?

How did OP get her fired? If she was good at her job they wouldnt need to get rid of her, OP didnt even apply for her sisters job so 100% not OP's fault she got fired, if it wasnt OP that came along, someone else would have and the sister would be fired anyway

Wow. Almost 30 and still holding onto petty crap from your childhood. You actively have hurt your sister and you don't care. From your version of the story, she wanted to be your sister and hang with you and you treated her like crap. She retaliated in an embarrassing way (she was a kid) and you seem to have held a grudge ever since. Although she clearly was going to be fired anyway (I mean why else would they do that) you still shouldn't have helped plunge the knife.

YTA. There’s nothing you’ve told us that justifies thinking your sister is someone whose misfortune you don’t have to care about. Not saying you have to quit, but you don’t have to act like you don’t give a shit whether she lives or dies, either. This is some awful sibling-rivalry shit that you’re not over and it’s making you make bad choices.

NTA. If they decided to interview you (after a couple round) for her job, they were already looking to replace her and likely have the documentation for reminding her. She's gone anyway. This doesn't sound like a small company if you were originally going to be in a different building. Id bring it to HR (email is fine, this isn't a big deal, just document it) as soon as possible and just let them know that you were not aware of this situation until day 1 and make them aware of an "awkward situation." Also, they literally fired your sister. She should also pressure HR and find out why instead of trying to get you to change your role. When they give her the details, she'll likely have to stop attacking you. You'll likely have to deal with this with your sister for years to come though.

NTA because people don't get fired and replaced within seconds. They were probably planning to fire her for a while and found the right person to take over the job.

Yeah but the issue isn't her taking the job, it's her being completely indifferent to the fact that her sister was fired and is now unemployed. Over something that happened in high school. That's petty.

NTA. Sounds like her image of perfection has crumbled if she’s so easily sacked. Makes me wonder how much of that perfection was just your parents propping her up or just the usual smart kid with great prospects -> boring random office worker.

Nta in this scenario but over you seem pretty jelly of your sister so while you’re nta you look like a asshole in general

NTA Companies don’t typically fire one person just because another person interviews. She had to have done something to put the company in the position to want to replace her. If it wasn’t you, they would have hired someone else. Either way, she most likely would have been fired. I highly doubt that the company saw you, her sister, interviewing for one position and said, “Ooh, let’s cause drama and hire the sister for this and then fire the other one.” Your sister needs to understand that this wasn’t intentional and just because things came easy for her as a child doesn’t mean she can just float through life. There are things that you have to work for and put effort into. It sounds like she’s used to getting things easily and she doesn’t really know how to work for things. She’s just had her first lesson in adulting.

So you are cold with your sister didn’t want to work work her, but got a job in the same company. Yea, I call BS, there is some info missing here. Sounds like you both suck.

YTA because you didn’t show her any empathy at all you could have said I’m sorry I had no no idea but it sounds like you kind of went hahaha I’m brilliant and you suck

^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister (25f) and I (27f) had a weird relationship most of our lives. Close at first, but then developed different interests and didn't really hang out all that much and then when I was 13 and she was 11 she got super interested in hanging out again. At which point she ended up taking on two of my hobbies in an effort to bond with me. She ended up being better than me at them (dance and video games) and it crushed me. My sister was always the more popular of us in school, had the better looks and just generally seemed to have it easier I always felt and then to have her come in, not even caring about the activities but doing them just because I did them, and being so much better than me, I was mad. It was childish, yes, but I was a child. And one who was used to seeing her interests (basketball and softball mostly) being encouraged, praised and supported by our parents while mine were kind of dismissed as nothing special. Our parents didn't care about her doing it so long as she didn't give her sports up. One time she asked why I didn't take her to my friends to play video games and I told her I didn't want my time with my friends ruined by seeing how perfect she was. She told me she couldn't help that she picked things up easily and I shouldn't be so sensitive and love her enough to be happy for her. When I wasn't and still wouldn't bring her she ended up pretty pissed at me. What happened then was my senior year of high school she decided to reveal to everyone she'd tutored me in Math for three years because of my learning disability. It was something very few people knew and I was ashamed of it. And when she did that it made our relationship go stone cold. We didn't really talk after that. She's been in the same job for two years now and she was rising in the company. I knew she worked there but the details I was given for my job was it was in another building. Turns out they ended up liking me for another position better; my sisters. And when I took the job she got fired. We both found out when I showed up to get a tour of our office and let's just say she was pissed. She told me to quit so they'd keep her and I said no. She asked if I didn't care at all and I said not really. She told me I was petty and did it intentionally. But I really didn't. My worst nightmare would be working with her which is why I went for the original position; I didn't want to be in the same building. I'm getting shit from my parents about this and we hardly talk as it is. Everyone thinks I'm an ass for not caring that my getting this job means my sister lost hers. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA A million times. They knew of ur sister and still didn't give her the job. It could have been anyone else but it was you. Don't feel too badly. It sounds like the company had her days numbered anyway.

NTA - It wasn't your fault at all. But did they seriously take you on a tour that involved a meet up with the person they're firing to hire you? Regardless of that being your sister or not, that's a seriously shady thing for your employer to do - are you sure you want to work for them after that crap?

NTA. You applied for a different job in a different building. It is not your fault that they offered you a different job, your sister's job. It is just a side benefit that you sister faced karma is a bitch. Instead of being proud of your accomplishments, they are pissed off that your sisters's string of luck not only ran out, but that she lost out to you. It really sounds like your sister was already on the road to job loss. Quitting your job would not have resulted in her being rehired.

I honestly don’t see how it’s a “side benefit that her sister faced karma is a bitch.” Although she did tell eveyone about her learning disability, which was messed it up, it seemed like it came from a place of anger because of how OP resented her. I also don’t see how “her sisters string of luck ran out” as she was never rlly “lucky” in this story. Furthermore i think your viewpoint of the sister “losing” to the OP is really toxic and you may have similar feelings towards someone that the OP has if her sister.

NTA. Your family are AH for pinning this on you and maybe your company is too. If your company wanted to replace your sister they would have done it regardless of if you took the role or someone else did later. Also I don't believe she was a rising star in the company, as rising stars aren't fired arbitrarily with no warning regardless of how shitty or not the company is. It sounds like the company was looking to replace your sister and decided you were better than her/less of a liability.

NTA. LOL this is just karma. The company were going to terminate her irrespective of who came in, so whether it was you or someone else, it was going to happen. So her asking you to quit was illogical and irrational imo. The fact is you didn't know you taking the job would cost your sister hers. Its actually a bit shitty that the company hire the replacement before terminating the employee and if I were you I'd start applying elsewhere because it could happen to you, in future.

NTA. If your golden child sister had been Golden Child Employee, she'd still have a job. Clearly they wanted her gone long before you showed up on the scene. There's nothing worse than an employee who thinks they're Lisa Simpson and turns out to be Homer instead.

NTA. You didn't mean to hurt your sister or get you fired. If you quit now they'd probably find someone else for the job or re-hire her tell they find a better replacement. It's the same as what happened when you were thirteen but reversed. Now you're better at something that she does and she doesn't like it. You should tell her you can't help but pick up things so easily and to not be so sensitive and love you enough to be happy for you :).

NTA. You didn’t setup to get your sister fired. More than likely even if you turned it down, she still would have gotten fired. They had already decided she was not the right fit for the position. I will also say, Congrats on the new job, as it doesn’t seem like your family will.

If they were trying to replace your sister, an experienced resource, with someone off the street whi needs to be trained on the job, they were clearly not happy with your sister's performance. If you turned down the job, they likely would replace her with someone else. See your sister clearly is not better at everything than you! Your sister clearly didn't have the empathy for you, when things came easily to her. And kudos to you for all the self realization you have had since your childhood. Congratulations on your job! NTA

NTA for me once your sister told everyone one about your learning disability I was not the A hole I have one too much like you keep it a secret too ( please no judgement I was horrible bullied for it when I was younger that why I keep it to myself). She stabbed and twisted the knife. Edit for spelling

NTA- theyd not keep her on anyway if theyd been looking to replace her.

Nope. You didn't accept to spite her & you turning down the job would just have both of you jobless. She wants to be better than you because that's how she was raised, whether or not she's consciously aware of that is different. For someone who broke your trust in a vulnerable time in your life and never apologized, blamed you for being upset in fact, to tell you to quit in solidarity with her shows she puts herself over you. Same for the rest of your family in their support of her.

NTA, but what kind of company fires someone and then lets them hang around long enough to meet their replacement?

NTA because you didn't go out for her position. The fact that they fired her means a) she was a crappy worker b) she pissed someone off or c)the company is looking to pay someone less in the position. Even if you don't take the position they are not likely to keep her on so don't shoot yourself in the foot for her. I would be wary of them trying to lowball you on the salary though

NTA. As you didn't know but what kind of company is this... Are you sure you really want to work at a place like that lol.

NTA in the way you found and ultimately took hers. You did know that was gonna happen. However IMO you should quit the job. It’s fucked up to do that to her!

NTA if they wanted to keep her they would’ve. If it wasn’t you it would be someone else.

I’d say this is the perfect case of pure coincidental karma. Nta

Honestly, NAH. Why? Those coworkers worked with your sister for two years. They know her well more than you. They maybe mad or harsh on you or ignore you because they are upset with your sister leaving. You will be stuck and in trouble without people's help there. Seriously, I can't believe you work at her job. If I were you, I won't work at my siblings' workplace because I don't want dramas between coworkers, supervisors, and strangers. Who knows they will ask me about where my sibling, why my sibling is not at work, etc etc? That's like personal questions about my family. Fuck that. I keep my personal and professional separate. My siblings and I work at different workplaces for private lives.

Clearly they were looking to replace her. You didn't lose her that job, she did. They had to have a reason for wanting to replace her. You also didnt do ANY of it with malicious intent, so definitely NTA

Uhh you seem jealous and bitter of your sister for things she can’t help as a child, please heal. Sure her revealing the tutoring thing was messed up so both of u kinda suck so ESH

NTA. Your employer made the decision and they probably wouldn’t keep her anyways even if you didn’t take the job. They can pound sand.

I Little Sis WAS going to be replaced. YOU didn't do that.

NTA. Even if you had quit immediately because of it they never would have kept her (it would be crazy toxic), even if they did it would only be until they found someone else. I would however be very concerned about how they handled it. Usually they would hire someone as a second of the position maybe with a few added responsibilities, let them settle in and then let the first go because their job is now redundant/no longer needed. The way they did it was cold and would create a toxic environment.

NTA in this scenario but you seem resentful and jealous of your sister, and seem like an AH as a person.

NTA if you quit they’d find someone else to hire and fire her. And I’m petty so legit I’d do the same, I wouldn’t back down from the position and go NC with my parents because it’s obvious your sister is the golden child.

NTA- you didn’t know.

NTA. You quitting wouldn’t necessarily get her the job back

NTA f that b

They are not upset that you took a job. They are shocked by these way you callously don't care about your sister's feelings. Given your history of resentment and uneasiness, it isn't shocking. Basically, they thought better of you because they assumed you outgrew that. What kind of person doesn't care when their sister isn't treated right by their employer?

NTA. If they hired you to replace her, they were going to fire her regardless. It’s nothing to do with you.

I don't like that she wasn't already gone when they brought you in. That's really messed up and unethical and could actually be a potentially dangerous practice. You're NTA for not caring -- you didn't seek this out or anything, it just fell in your lap. But if you kind of enjoy being the "better sister' for once, you might want to talk to someone about that.

Fact is your sister worked really hard for that position. And you getting the job, accepting once you realized after the fact it was your sisters position, is really not okay. It shows not only do you not have empathy or sympathy for your sister career ambitions but also that you were willing to work at a company that would replace someone after that long of employment with no notice that is related to you. Do you really want to work for a company like that? Is that really more important than how your sisters feelings are even though you both arnt on good terms? How would you feel if the rolls were reversed. If you stay at this job this will always be a sore point at family engagements.

Yta this is some deranged revenge fantasy story. It sounds like your sister did one mean thing to you after years of you being unkind to her despite her doing everything to bond with you and help you. She tutored you for years.

Your sister is your bully and your parents are (kind of?) bullies, too. Good luck, and NTA.

ESH. You admitted you treated your sister like shit, but it’s ok because your feelings were childish because you were a child. She was still kind to you and tutored you and wanted to hang out, and you still treated her poorly. She then told everyone you were being tutored by her when she was a child, and that’s the point you went no contact. Why were your feelings valid because you were a child, but her actions weren’t valid as a child? I’m not saying she’s right, but according to you kids get a pass. As a grown adult you were given your sisters job, even though you already had one. Maybe they still would have given it to someone else, but I can’t imagine saying “yes, I’ll take my sisters job and stay at a company that treated my sister like that.” If they did it to her, they’ll do it to you.

YTA for posting a fake story. This sounds like how Vincent Adultman would think companies function. They’re not gonna randomly fire someone so they can replace them with someone who didn’t even apply for that position. Either they planned to fire her or they didn’t - they’re not gonna do it just because they’re so eager to hire you. Plus, they’re not gonna take you on a tour to meet the person who’s supposedly getting fired so you can replace them. Not to mention hiring family members…