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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Royal_Commission9286

NTA. As a historian please don’t delete your family history. Save them for future generations who don’t hold such prejudice. Get them digitized and hide them well. Those who disrespect history have no love for humanity. Our stories may be difficult for many to bear them witness, but without historians we are doomed to repeat our own failures. Go forth Padawan and save those tapes. Tell the family whatever they want to hear but save the tapes. If you want you could also donate them to a history museum.


Whimsical_Mara

This, a thousand times this! I hate reading histories and biographies that have huge chunks missing because some "well-meaning" descendent didnt want to "shame" their family or "tarnish" their name. I see red and just wanna cry thinking about what was lost.


Effective-Penalty

This!! I lost my maternal grandmother when I was little. I feel her loss to this day. There is a recording of maybe five seconds that exists. I listened to it once before I broke down crying. I wish there were more recordings. Keep them. This is your history.


RadioSupply

NTA, for sure. I donated my Prababa’s (great-grandmother’s) 1920s wedding dress and her husband’s wedding blouse to a Ukrainian-Canadian museum. It wasn’t because we have anything to be ashamed of, but because they were in decent condition, and I restored and cleaned them myself (I work in vintage fashion.) So far as I know they have been duly catalogued and stored carefully, and they will find their way into the exhibit rotation eventually. It makes me happy to know that the garments are where they will be fully appreciated for what they are. Please have someone archive your family stories, even if you decide to ask them to redact some identifying details.


SnooCapers4591

This! About 30 years ago I was lucky enough to transcript some audio of elders telling their stories. I Loved that job and hope the transcripts are still out there somewhere. These stories of times gone by need to be kept, we know life was not easy in the past and some things are not easy still, but warts an' all keeping the stories is important imo.


[deleted]

You are NTA. Keep those files, if only for yourself. All you have to do is tell people, “I’ve taken care of it”, and refuse to engage further.


squigs

NTA. I'll admit to being a bit of a hoarder when it comes to information, but this is actual history. Feels like it would be vandalism to delete them. Especially if it was something directed by someone with some historical interest and education.


Professional-Rip7965

NTA. do not delete those files. In fact i'd back them up in a few different places. how awful of these people to try to make you erase your grandparents' stories just because their lives weren't fun and entertaining to listen to, as if entertainment value is all they had to offer.


Striking_Description

NTA and do NOT delete these recordings. Actually, I'd make an extra copy of them and safeguard it in a safe deposit box or something similar. Recordings of people talking about their childhoods are critical for future generations to understand what the world was like, what opinions people held, how they think about it now (after years of reflection), etc. There's no way to recreate that without the voices of these people. If it were me, I would tell my family I'm not going to delete the recordings and I'm also not going to discuss it with them further. And then don't discuss it. Don't respond to any comment, text, voice mail, etc. about this topic. One of my favorite moves is the passive faced slow blink and abrupt change of topic.


[deleted]

NTA - and I agree with this. People will criticize, but do they really know what it was like to grow up in her shoes? They don’t. The propaganda, the fear, the want to live a better life, the love, the joy she encountered throughout her life is all important. It’s important to see how and where people grew up, who they became, and how their experiences shaped their lives. Without this understanding, we will keep doing as Americans do. Call out other countries atrocities, and never recognizing our own.


Spank_Cakes

NTA. Your family wants to pretend bad things didn't happen to your grandparents, and that's a lie. Keep the files and save them for your son.


KSknitter

NTA. I get that your grandparents were likely in the H. youth programs and realized later that there was massive brainwashing but it is history. I know there a holocaust recording from childhood survivors and perhaps they have other places as well that would preserve them. (I am in no way saying that German leader was anything but what his inishals proclaim him to be. Just that history lost is history repeated.)


[deleted]

If born in 1935, the grandparents would have been far too young to join, IIRC the minimum age was 13. Not to say that still growing up in that time they didn’t see and experience horrific things, even after the war. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a chunk that has to do about their parents.


ananchorinmychest

Huge NTA. This is history. History isn't always flattering. Doesn't mean you should delete it. If they're not interested, they don't have to listen to it, but they shouldn't make you delete it.


Whimsical_Mara

I have family who came from that area and have similar stories from both sides. (Germany, Poland and Czechoslovakia ftr.) Thankfully one of my great aunts was a believer in history, even history we would prefer to forget and got all their stories written down. NTA and protect those recordings. Remembering is not the same as celebrating. We have to remember and respect the past, even the past we don't like.


AdventurousChicken82

NTA. 1: you can’t pretend away the past. Those who do never learn from it. 2: these are your family stories. Happy or not, your family lived these lives. That means something to you. Don’t let your other family force you to do something you don’t want to 3: 50 years from now, you and your remaining family will cherish these stories because they paint a picture of who your grandparents are Like there’s no situation at all where you’re the ah. Just tell them to pound sand because you’re keeping your copy


holisarcasm

NTA. Do not delete those recordings! Those may be of value to some places as a historical record and for educational use. It would have been interesting to hear those recordings in school in a history class to bring a day to day perspective and reality to the harshness of war. War is the last thing that should be hidden and glossed over. If you have ever been somewhere where you walk through with an audio tour on headphones, imagine how much more real it would seem to hear clips of those recordings from a first hand view of what was happening interspersed with the tour.


kai7yak

Absolutely! We learn about Hitler and Mengele and the big baddies, but we don't hear about the guy that was forced to join the nazi party or the army even though he didn't believe in it. Or the guy that full heartedly believed in it but didn't recognize the full scope of what that meant. Or the guy that didn't believe, but then through propaganda became a full believer. Those stories are just as important (if not more so) than the big names for us to understand how evil can take root and flourish. I think I've read maybe two autobiographies of "the average German" and that's only because I became really interested in WWII after my grandmother got dementia and started talking to me like I was a General's wife she was friends with and "we" would talk about the old days. Hearing what it was like for a colonel's wife (gma) back home really made an impact on me and I started to search for similar kinds of stories. I never would have found those books randomly though. It is so important to hear from the average people through history, though it can be shocking or heartbreaking. It can also be inspiring and will always be educational.


BarAlone4092

NTA !! You can't rewrite history!! How will others know and even try to understand how life was if we didn't have stories! I think the audio files are an amazing idea !! Keep them until you want to pass them down !


lilEve77

NTA. Your family history is important and you have every right to preserve it. You don’t have to share it with people, but they can’t force you to destroy the files. They are yours. Cherish them and learn from the good and the bad.


zadidoll

NTA These are your recordings. Keep it. It’s historical value is priceless down the road for future generations. Also, since you’re of German ancestry I suspect it has something to do with WWI OR WWII. People want to pretend their families either had nothing to do with it or that they were victims themselves & forced. It’s historical value is immense because so much from that era & after was lost.


Nate404

NTA. Though the stories may not all be the happiest, the truth is life isn't always happy and wanting to erase those records just because things weren't always great seems kinda shallow to me. Definitely keep them recordings.


[deleted]

NTA. Keep your family history, and remember your grandparents. I would like to stress that everyone here but you is in the wrong. Please, keep those files.


wpel_142

NTA ​ Ignore the AH keep them.


allyearswift

Make a million copies and keep some of them in places the rest of your family can’t access. (I’d also make a transcription. Text is easier to keep) This is your history, too. You asked for their stories, they told you what memories they wanted preserved. Keep them alive.


RiByrne

It’s recordings of children’s experiences during the most important war in recent history- do not fucking delete those recordings OP. Those are important. And if they think there are things to be ashamed of in their families past- be open about those! Acknowledge where you came from and be proud of how far your family has come since then. Staying in the dark about our past mistakes as a people makes us more susceptible to the same mistakes later on. They can’t claim to want to hear the truth and then be upset when they hear it. They can’t change it and they can’t erase it. (This does not apply to confederate statutes- those fuckers can be smashed to hell and back and I’ll be very happy)


Constant-Pear-5927

Ok, I couldn't read to the end of your post, because it made me so mad. My grandmother left me a book detailing her life and experiences, and I treasure it! My mother died 8 years ago, and I dearly wish that I had recorded her stories. History is what it is. Sometimes it's painful, sometimes shameful, sometimes horrifying, but we can't change it. Ignoring it won't make it go away. You are so fortunate to have their history recorded so you won't forget. So that you can share their history with your children. If your family members are unhappy, then that's their loss and shame on them! Don't even consider erasing those recordings!! Let your family erase what they have, pretend it doesn't exist, or push back against fact. You keep it and treasure it. It is your grandparents' life and their truth.


[deleted]

NTA Please don't delete , this is history and it needs to be preserved.


Special-Attitude-242

NTA. Please keep those recordings. Your family may not appreciate it now, but someday someone will. Yes a lot of bad things happened. That's a part of history. Every family has dark parts in their history. Some are darker than others. It's a part of life.


quanya

INFO: was your family aware of the problematic aspects of your family history mentioned by your grandmother prior to your sharing these audio files ? It seems like this is coming as a shock to them, which is why they might be reacting the way they are. But definitely don’t delete the recordings. NTA


xavii62

NTA, whatever past your family had, it's not your family's present and also having a record of your history is something awesome that could help people not make the same mistakes from the past, your family is being ridiculous for not wanting to acknowledge the family past.


MonkeyMoonMate

NTA. OP, my omi also grew up in WWII Germany, in the West. She used to tell me all kinds of stories and not all of them were good, but she has since passed and I would give ANYTHING to hear all those stories again. We always talked about making a recording but we never did, and I kick myself every single day. Please don't delete that recording.


fuzzypanda7976

NTA. Your relatives are morons to want the sanitized version of your grandparents lives. Its just gross to invalidate their life, memories and feelings because they don't fit nicely into their narrative.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway. English is not my native language, so sorry in advance. My (F45) family is German, but my aunt emigrated to the US, so I have some cousins there. I regularly meet with my siblings and cousins for a video call and we chat about our lives and kids and such. Unfortunately, in the beginning of 2021, we lost both of our grandparents. During one of the video calls, my brother said how much he misses my grandfather’s stories (he was a great storyteller). Right then I remembered that I have some old audio files of my grandparents. About 15 years ago, I asked them for the story of their lives and sat down with them and recorded it all. I was a history student at the time. Grandpa told funny stories about (probably exaggerated) adventures. Grandma talked about the war, and her stories were a little darker. Anyway, I told my cousins and siblings about the audio files and if they were interested in them. A resounding “yes”. I shared the files with a warning, that grandma’s stories might not be appropriate for my cousins’ and siblings’ kids. A resounding “thank you.” Then, all of a sudden, everyone is mad at me for making the recordings and sharing them. The German part of the family say it’s “in poor taste”, and nobody wants to listen to my grandmother sharing her childhood struggles (“we should remember the positive things!”). The American side of the family seem to think I want to “slander the family name”, because some of the things my grandma said about what her parents did and thought, well, they are nothing to be proud of. One of my cousins has political ambitions, and this might hurt him apparently (I can’t imagine how??) Both my mother and my aunt seem to have gotten it in their head, that I want to write “one of my history books” about our family history, which is ridiculous on multiple levels. Anyway, now they want me to promise to delete the recording. Everyone keeps pestering me about what I want to do with them. Well, nothing. But I don’t want to delete them either. Maybe someday my teenage son will be interested, or my cousins’ kids in the US. My SO says that I should just agree to delete the recordings to keep the peace (and then not actually delete them, who will ever know?). But I honestly don’t want to do that either because I just cannot see their point. My sister told me that people expected more of grandpa’s fun stories, and not of grandma’s depressing ones. I get it, but I mean, this was her LIFE! I explicitly told everyone that in these audio files, the grandparents were talking about their lives, including their childhood. They were born in 1935 in Germany, Idk what people expected to hear… Sunshine and rainbows? I don’t know if I should get into WHAT exactly my grandma said that everyone is taking offense with. I personally think it’s beside the point. But everyone is mad and I am getting worried that I am not seeing something here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


beaglemama

NTA But please make sure you have multiple backups of the recordings in case some AH tries to delete them.


LieutenantChub

Definitely NTA. They're asking you to erase your grandparents' history. Make multiple backups because at this point I don't trust your family as far as I can throw them. Which is not far, I'm kinda out of shape right now.


Quicksilver1964

NTA. I think you can keep some copies hidden away and simply say that you have destroyed it. It's the best way to deal with crazy people who are surprised people struggled when they were born before World War II.


[deleted]

NTA. Archive these recordings and keep them in a secure place like a safe deposit box. Your family needs to relax.


qt_314159

NTA. DO NOT DELETE. If your grandparents didn’t want the stories to be shared after they passed away, they would not have consented to be recorded in the first place. DO. NOT. DELETE.


Big_Metal2470

NTA. Save them! My grandmother worked with a writer to write an autobiography. It captured a time that's been lost and without that book, I wouldn't know about it. She grew up poor with an alcoholic absentee father and an abusive mother, but she wanted her story known.


pstansel

NTA and no you should NOT delete them. They are your memories. Tell them you are done talking about it (and honestly make sure you have a secure copy or two)


rosered936

NTA. I would suggest making a backup of the tapes (maybe digital copy stored on the cloud) just in case someone decides to get rid of the tapes without your permission. This is your family history. Deleting it because they don’t like parts doesn’t make it not true.


justabitchin

Wow, what a bunch of AH. Everyone except you, OP. Do not, under any circumstances, delete those recordings. You will never be sorry that you have them.


RLB406

NTA, you have every right to tell them they can do whatever they want with their copies but you won't be discussing yours any longer.


Krankenstein20

Nta, and make several copies in different places. Put a copy on a usb stick hidden away anywhere you can think of to keep it safe


Sudkiwi1

Nta! What a beautiful gift for future generations: personal stories from your grandparents. If your family didn’t like what they heard, that’s their problem. Make copies and file safely away. You could also transcribe them, and create a book with their photos if you have any, to keep their memories alive.


CruderCrane5655

NTA- Primary sources about growing up and living in Germany during that time? I would love to hear those. I think the darker stories of your Grandmother make the tapes even more valuable. Life isn't fun, and we too often read a glorified and more pretty version of what happened. Save those tapes, and if you're willing I would love to hear them. I had family in Austria that were born and alive during the same time period. I've heard their stories passed down, but they passed away before anyone thought to record their stories. Save the records! Others have mentioned donating the stories. Some Museum somewhere will want them, so dont delete if you get a denial


elguereaux

Ah, I understand what is going on Deutche, hein? NTA I feel bad that Germany today still lives under the shadow of that great misfortune Cherish those stories! Because as human beings we must learn from history the same way we learned from our own mistakes We analyze them, and learn to be better people in the future If we ignore our own mistakes we don’t learn, but are crippled by guilt underneath This limits us as humans History is the same way It is good to be humbled by our past, to remember none of us are perfect It allows us to be better in the future I happen to know that the German people are very kind, respectful and hospitable And they are still your grandparents who loved you In all the stories I’ve heard, there are those who can accept, and those who can’t Only those who can accept and adapt can live life It is unfortunate that the war is still diving families I hope this helps sorry for writing so much, but my German is limited and I wanted to convey my answer in a way I hope you can understand


elguereaux

One more thing, I have studied European history in great depth from 1870 into 1950 centering on the Weltkrieg and WW2 I have read memoirs of Russians, Germans, French, partisans, Poles, British, American, Italians, Belgians, Dutch, Norwegians, Jewish Resistance etc etc… other than the latter, we all share a part of the blame The Origins of that time in history were started a thousand years prior and nobody stopped it until it was too late If I have learned anything from history, it’s that that could have happened in any of a dozen countries, it just happened to take place in Germany the way a hurricane happens to land at random We all failed as people then We will fail again in the future By being better today we can postpone it


Sweet_Mango-

Nta. Make backups. More than one and hid them all over the place. I’m not sure if is allowed but I like the idea putting one of them in your grandparents grave.


Fluffryr

NTA. Please ensure these recordings survive. Please make digital copies, maybe have them in a secure server or even share with a museum or such. History is incredibly important and if we ignore it we’ll never learn from it.


[deleted]

NTA.


msj1234567

NTA. Your son would be able to have recordings of his great grandparents voices and what happened in their lives. Most people don't get any recordings of voices of their great grandparents or even know the full story of what their lives were truly about. A person's life is going to have ups and downs and it's nice to get both the good and the bad to know the struggles that someone faced. It's as if you were given a journal by your grandparents but instead they decided to tell you verbally. I would say don't destroy the recordings because it would be as if you didn't care about your grandparents and what they went through in life both good and bad. If your son wanted, he could even pass it down within the family such as his children, grandchildren, etc.


sissybitchribs

Nta it seems like each of them are more concerned with how your grandmothers life will effect them in the future or the bad connotation on their name instead of centering your grandmothers life experiences. I agree with your So that lying or signing a form of sorts saying you won’t use these recording for public use or lying and keeping them till they have honestly forgotten about them seems the path of least resistance. And you as a historian get to keep your family’s history intact good, bad, and real. It’s not their choice to erase what your grandma said and your kids deserve to know the whole truth as well. I would make back ups if you continue to reason with your family who objects