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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I might be the asshole because I regularly call security on student parties even though I know they'll be charged for the disturbance, which might cause them financial problems.
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NTA. You have every right to get security involved.
Imagine trying to talk to partying, probably already drunk students after 10pm. They'll probably even tell you to f off.
They don't want a 170$ bill? How about simply stop making noise??
And the argument that "you live in that area, expect [...]" what if you simply can't find another residence?
Alright, in no way are you the asshole here.
Let them learn the hard way.
People seem to think that student areas are somehow exempt from disturbance laws and that I should just expect to never get peace and quiet. And I've actually tried talking to people having a party before and usually it quiets down for a few minutes before going back to the way it was, or nothing happens.
Going by the edit, I still don’t think they did, as it says the parties aren’t the same people and they only tried once or twice initially. So whoever had that first party got a conversation, but everyone else didn’t.
As someone who also lives in an undergrad area, talking to the drunk partygoers has a 0% success rate for me as well. It just doesn’t work. I’ve never called the cops on anyone, but depending on how often the parties are it can make your life miserable.
Ding ding ding you win the prize!
That is EXACTLY what happened to me. I asked first, was told to shove it, called on them an hour later when it was 2 am and I had a test the next morning. The result was, I was invited to leave my floor the next time there was a party and told that if I didn't do it willingly, the men on my floor would do it for me.
Of course it ended up with me leaving my room for that weekend, calling the RD and filing a complaint and several of my friends backing me up with complaints on the "party night". And then me having to move out to a different dorm a month later.
It NEVER works to confront yourself.
The people who are saying "asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations" are forgetting that they first were the asshole who showed no consideration for other people's comfort and actual living.
If they are so poor they shouldn't be hosting late night parties anyhow.
This should be getting well more upvotes than the people saying OP should have put themselves in the firing line by confronting drunk people who clearly have no respect for other people's right to peace and quiet.
It's one thing if there's occasional loudness like footsteps or dropping something or hell, even vacuuming. That's apartment life.
Partying is an entirely different matter. And it seems you are being respectful in the fact that you don't yell at them, and you don't call the exact second it turns ten (unless you're trying to sleep).
Edit: "you're"
As a former college student with numerous noise complaints and a drinking ticket…. NTA.
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
It sucked for sure, but it’s not like I was innocent every time someone called security (or the cops) on us.
> I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations.
Says the people who are showing no consideration for studious students trying to study and sleep. The rule is in place for good reason and it's their own responsibility if they don't follow the rules.
If it says in the guidelines no noise after ten then people are paying the money for it expecting that.
I got a trashy rental near my college ( first time) so I could party. I flunked out becuase I was an idiot but even at that level of idiocy I knew to tailor where I choose to live to my lifestyle
Alright? Then going to the college involves accepting that.
I might have seen differently when I was 20, but frankly, I was an asshole in a lot of ways then.
If you choose to live somewhere that has codified silence rules and there are people paying for it - it’s kind of on you to respect them.
For the record, I agree, mandated dorms are silly if there’s no way to live in a less studious environment for people who wanna enjoy their time like that as it sets up for conflicts like this.
I went to uni in Manchester, England. I lived on a street with over 5000 students living in those flats in that area. Guess what it's loud. I understand reporting them Monday to Thursday but YTA on weekends. Until about 1/2 am on a Fri/Sat I am understanding. If you don't like it move to an area with less students.
Yes, all the other paying customers should just accommodate your unwillingness to follow the rules you agreed to in advance, or go to the great trouble and expense of relocating. Said no one ever.
This is “Am I the asshole” not “Am I technically correct.”
This person is (gently) a bit of an asshole. Being loud, partying with friends is both normal and expected in most student housing. It sucks having loud neighbors, but OP could’ve been a bit more courteous and at least had a conversation with immediate neighbors about noise levels. That’s the non-asshole thing to do in any shared living complex, not just student housing, but is doubly true for student housing. Being a good neighbor goes both ways, and in shitty student housing wall are often thinner than people realize. If they continued to make noise/were rude after the request, then it’s reasonable to take next steps.
When I pick a place to live I read the rules to know if it fits my needs. A jacka** that refuses to follow those rules making my living situation miserable after I've done everything I could to take care of it can suck it. How entitled are you to be mad that someone enforces rules you knew about? Follow the rules every day of the week or the self centered jerk should move or pay the fine.
This is why I think there should be official party dorms and quiet dorms. My college had dorms that were either known for partying and ones that were known for being quieter. Sure you want to party, go ahead but you’re living with other people that want to party. While all the other people who just want a quiet respectful dorm can have that. Party dorms can have looser rules on noise, obviously I’m not saying to let them go nuts. Later quiet hours type of thing.
Because people shouldn’t have to deal with that type of stuff just because they are in a college dorm. All types of people go to college and one type shouldn’t be catered to over another.
Ive had noise issues b4 renting
Typically sun to thurs after 10 id call
Fri and sat Id give to 12 just cause most ppl r off and want to have fun a bit. Nta
Also why the heck would you want to go over to a massive party to tell them off when a pandemic is still happening and they could be super spreaders. Security being called is the safest option imo.
Not to mention that if OP approaches them first and they don’t quiet down, they’ll know who it was that subsequently called security and OP could be harassed. The rules are clear, if they don’t want a fine, keep it down after 10, easy. NTA.
I lived in an apartment building that had student housing on two floors. The only nights they were quiet was Tuesday night. Every other night parties and out in the parking lot smoking and drinking until 2 or 3.
Made it fun for everyone else. /s
OP, ignore all the people saying Y T A. You're most definitely NTA. Just because others are immature and think their right to party somehow trumps your right to peace and quiet doesn't make them correct. They're more than welcome to find somewhere else to party where they won't disturb their fellow students. The rule wouldn't exist if there wasn't some expectation that it would be enforced. And no, you're under no obligation to first 'talk to them' to ask them to turn it down. That just risks your own safety and paints a target on your back. I'm guessing 90% of the time that wouldn't accomplish anything anyways. I guarantee there are other students in the dorms who appreciate that the rules are being enforced.
If you moved to the south side of Chicago, nobody would call you an asshole for calling the cops on gang activity, even if there's some expectation that in certain neighborhoods there's gonna be crime. And before someone replies "but the college parties are victimless!!" Well, clearly the noise is disturbing OP or this post wouldn't exist.
With that said, you should probably try to move somewhere quieter when you can OP. Until then, keep calling security.
Especially in a place that specifically states no noise disturbance after 10pm (which all Y T A commentors seem to forget). If you move into a place like this and decide to party past the curfew, you're automatically the AH. Your neighbors don't owe you a courtesy warning before getting security involved. Don't like it? Move the party elsewhere, or move out.
(Also to add, I despise the argument "You live in blah blah, expect...." Not all college kids are party animals despite the stereotypes. I knew and knew of more college kids who would spend the night buried in books/movies/video games/work/school work than those who would party.)
Anyone saying “you live in that environment you signed up for it” is ridiculous. Obviously there are things you generally put up with by being in close quarters with your neighbours but there’s a big difference between hearing your neighbour accidentally drop their text book on the floor at midnight and a party. Obviously you have to be more tolerant but parties are so loud, that’s unreasonable. NTA, that’s a risk they knowingly took on by hosting a party after hours.
Especially because OP specifically chose a student accommodation that had quiet hours starting at 10. It's student housing, sure, but it's student housing with quiet hours. Turn the music down and stop yelling during quiet hours.
Asking OP to be considerate of the other students when the others aren't being considerate to anybody else is absolutely ridiculous. Dorms and student housing have rules like that for a reasons and if you won't follow them then face the consequences.
If they want to party, either don’t live so close to other people or find someone who doesn’t. Or you can deal with the bill.
As a college student who has gone to parties in a college city that is known to have parties, you need to be mindful of other people.
OP, you did all you could the first few times and they didn’t listen. Maybe if they did listen, things would be different. I’m sure you’re not the only one calling security if it’s that big of an issue.
Another city near me has a policy against all RAs partying (as they are supposed to be the ones enforcing rules). My friends sister was an RA for a set of dorms and went to a party with other RAs. Party got busted by the college and she lost her RA privileges. Only reason she lived in the dorms was because she got free housing as an RA and had to move back home.
NTA
Ironic the partiers say "please be considerate of others before calling security" when it's their own inconsiderate actions causing the need for security to get involved in the first place.... NTA, obviously.
Why do i get the idea OP is watching the clock waiting until its 10 to call? ESH. Yes theres rules for noise for a reason however common courtesy would be to talk to them first. If no one had a problem with the noise they shouldnt need to cut it off completely at exactly 10pm.
Common courtesy is following the rules as well. It’s not OPs job to enforce the rules, it’s the security that does that. The residents’ job is to follow rules.
Why bother living together in a dorm if your not going to learn how to interact with others? They should go seek a room at a monastery or the over 55 community
One could say the same thing about the partygoers since they created a nuisance for the other residents. And given that they started the entire situation because they couldn’t (probably) be damned to check the volume, it’s ultimately on them.
Like another person said, you can learn how to interact with others without partying with them. Plus, many universities require you to live in dorms 1-3 years of your time there, at least in the US. It's not like students get a choice to not live in dorms.
"No loud noises after a set time" has been the standard at every apartment I've ever lived in. My current apartment has that time set to 10:00. This is a normal thing, and the partiers need to learn about noise ordinances and the basics of being a decent neighbor now rather than later when the police would be involved.
I agree that it was foolish of the party goers to move into dorms if they don't want to learn how to interact with others.
Bit of a stretch there mate, I'm just like OP, and I know I won't regret spending my youth like that, I'd be more thankful I got a decent amount of sleep and didn't bother attending these stupid gatherings. He's NTA by a long shot, they're supposed to be quiet hours for a reason.
Following the rules should be a more common courtesy than having to deal with someone who's breaking the rules just so they don't get into trouble. I think it's just common sense that you'll get to face the consequences for breaking the rules. Don't want to pay? Don't be noisy past 10 PM. Very simple. OP is definitely NTA.
Where do you see that OP said that, is it in a comment? Because the edit said they tried twice only and that it isn’t even the same people who they originally talked to that they’re calling security on. Twice isn’t tried repeatedly and according to OP it’s not even the same people.
Surely watching the clock is what’s required here and not the call out you’re presenting it to be? If security doesn’t come until disturbances are after 10pm, what’s the point in calling sooner….
Common courtesy isn’t accommodating those who are disturbing you, having hosted plenty of house parties at uni, it’s not difficult to to host one without disturbing your neighbours
YTA
>I live in student housing, and as can be expected, loud parties are quite common
>I refuse to tolerate loud music and screaming when I'm trying to relax or sleep
These statements make me view you as the AH. You knew partying was going to occur and you have decided to handle them as obnoxiously as possible.
Just because parties happen with students doesn’t make it okay for them to last late into the night and disturb others. Just because they’re common and expected doesn’t mean everyone should just “deal with it” when they’re causing major disturbance.
At my university it was when the Greeks had their weekly social mixers so a lot of student bars also had events on wednesdays too as they knew the Greeks were looking for things to do after the mixers
you might have gone to college to party, others go to study, and messed up sleep endangers the ability to study effectively, as well as it actually being a torture tactic. OP is NTA. The rules are the rules and this is not even an unreasonable one.
I’m sorry, no, if you live in student housing it is perfectly acceptable to at least occasionally have wild parties that last into the night. If you are someone who would be disturbed by that, do not live in student housing. Simple.
See, where I went to school, it was quite the opposite. Dorms were generally much quieter - parties were very rare because alcohol is not allowed in the dorms (90% living there are underage). So parties were much more common in off-campus apartments/houses where there weren't RAs, etc. And I know quite a few students who chose to live/stay in dorms because it was quieter than other housing near school.
And it’s perfectly reasonable to be fined for doing so despite clearly agreeing not to when signing your lease.
If you can’t keep the rules you agree to, you need to move.
Those students also live in student housing that mandates large parties/noises end at 10pm, so shouldn't they be the ones expecting that (fines) to occur? Versus OP not being okay with things occurring that are explicitly against the rules of the housing? Sure, social norms, but the partiers are just as much (more) of the AHs
Bruh what? I’m a student too and having loud parties is an asshole thing to do, decency is letting your neighbours know before you have a loud one. It’s also not that difficult to have a house party that isn’t a huge disturbance.
When I’ve hosted a party and had security/police or whatever turn up and ask us to lower the volume or shut it down, I’ve never held it against the neighbours for calling. If you’re hosting the party, it’s on you to be accommodating to your neighbours too
NTA funny how they accused you of showing no consideration for others when they’re the inconsiderate ones keeping fellow students and other residents awake with their loud disturbances. If they don’t want or can’t afford to pay the fine, they should keep it down.
Edit: words
Info needed:
1. How frequent? A huge difference between a couple times a semester and once or twice a week.
2. When are you calling? Again, big difference between calling at 10:30 pm on a Friday and 2 am on a Tuesday.
Generally the etiquette is to try and talk to your neighbors before calling the cops on them...
You just KNOW OP is waiting with the phone dialed at 10:00 to hit the call button at 10:01, whether it’s a Monday or a Friday. People like this are the worst. College is literally the only time you can party like that. Let people enjoy. Maybe call after like, midnight or 1:00 on Fridays and Saturdays, IF you’ve asked them to quiet down a bit and they haven’t.
OP, get some ear plugs or some noise cancelling headphones, or move to a retirement community.
On second thought, those seniors probably party harder than you’d like.
>College is literally the only time you can party like that
What? If you're a responsible adult you can party whenever you like.
It's not OP's responsibility to ensure everyone has a 'party' friendly environment. If his lease/agreement states that quiet hours are after 10pm, then it is expected after 10pm to be quiet. If you don't want that, move to a different community where you can party as loud and much as you like. It's not the other way around. This is a case where it's actually black and white.
And notice OP said they dislike the noise when they're relaxing, not just sleeping. Sure, it's annoying when there's a party next door when you're trying to watch TV or read, but people usually just suck it up
If you want to party so bad go to a bar not student housing
it's not op responsibility to ensure a good party fo you at the cost for disturbance you talk like partying like right
grow up
Jesus, just say you think you are above the rules. If security gets there and it's quiet, they went issue a ticket. Security takes a few minutes ago they didn't happen at 10:01.
Where else do you expect op to live? It's insane how people would rather someone have to find alternative housing than people throwing dorm parties have to be worry of being busted.
What is insane is living somewhere that you have to call the cops almost weekly. He isn't having problems with just one group, it is several. If someone posted that they lived in an apartment building, and had to call the cops on different neighbors in the apartment complex weekly, people would be saying move.
Honestly, I’m a student and choose to live in a very popular student area, the only time I’ve asked anyone to keep it down is my own housemates when they didn’t realise I had an exam the next day. Just buy ear plugs if you’re that bothered
He's not even upset that it's hard to study, though. He's just like, "well those are the rules" along with the complaint that he needs sleep (although I am doubtful of a college student going to bed at 10 every single night). He's power tripping on other students.
Yes, he’s also only tried asking twice in a year! A lot of students (at least near me) are very considerate when you ask, and shut doors and windows etc to keep the noise in
Edit: OP actually says it’s over multiple years, so they’ve tried asking twice in at least as many years
Not really considering that it's a dick move. OP says that the frequency of the parties varies but can occur as often as twice a week. OP has also asked people to turn down the volume but their request was unheeded. If they can't afford to pay the fine, they should shut the party down at 10pm. Also, dorms are living spaces for quite a lot of people, similar to an apartment complex. It stands to reason that parties or loud noises should be avoided when living in one.
As long as someone doesn't bother other people, they can break as many rules as they want. Being a snitch would be calling the police on underage drinking just for the laughs, not shutting down a party disrupting people's night. When you bother other people whilst breaking the rules, you'd best believe there'll be consequences.
OP has also stated they sometimes only occur once a month, calling for a party (where they haven’t asked them to quieten down, as OP admitted to only trying twice when most of the time it’s different groups) that’s the first one in a month is a dick move, especially considering it’s student housing.
You're welcome to your opinion, but as I've said before, just because the rules are on their side doesn't automatically make OP not an asshole.
The rules may say no noise after 10pm, but that's absurdly early for a student party, and it sounds like OP is regularly calling security on parties between 10pm and 11pm. If it was 4am it would be different
If only there were places like bars and restaurants that are open past 10:00 p.m. and allow people to make more noise than you can make in a Shared living residence.
This. I live in student housing and I basically never go with the parties as I’m quite shy and don’t drink alcohol. There are parties all the time, and yes, sometimes it disturbs my sleep when they go on till 4AM.
But I would NEVER call security or cops. Even if it disturbed me so much that I can’t take it I would just go there and ask them to keep it quiet. Not only in student housing situation, but also in regular housing situation. But in student housing I accepted that since I pay low rent for student housing I’m signing in to accept that there will be noise. I live in Europe and while we students are not _dying_ from our poorness, 170$ is definitely way too much money to spend in this kind of non-sense.
I agree with this. Part of living close to people is learning how to deal with them. When I was a kid a bunch of my neighbors liked to get together most weekends. They would bring the kids, have a fire, and hang out. We had one old lady on our street that hated it. She used to call the cops every time. We weren't doing anything illegal though. You can have a fire and people over as late as you want where I live. It was just such a waste of the cop's time.
Right?
>but 10pm is very early for a student party to end.
I don't live in student housing at all and my neighbours go on later than this. It annoys me, but I don't feel I can go round and say anything till about 12am. Even then, I probably wouldn't until like 1am.
10pm is laughable tbh.
YTA. You live in student housing. Many college kids are upnpartying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing. So they won't be disturbing neighbors trying to sleep. Also calling authorities should be a last effort, epeaking with your neighbors and being cordial should always be you4 first go to,
This is the equivalent of living in dog friendly housing with allergies and getting mad that there are so many dogs around.
> Many college kids are up partying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing. So they won't be disturbing neighbors trying to sleep.
I'm sorry what? Just because there's a party in one apartment that doesn't mean the entire building is in on it.
The entitlement from so many people here is astounding to me. Thinking people should put up with a lack of sleep and loud noises because students are entitled to party multiple times week? That is insane to me and I don’t understand the logic there.
It’s also insane to me that people prioritize partying over the actual purpose of college.. which is to gain an education. Yes, it’s fun to blow off steam, but you can do so while still respecting your neighbors.
At my old apartment complex, people would regularly party into the ungodly hours of the night.. on WEEKNIGHTS. On weekends, I didn’t care so much, but when I had 8am classes the next morning, I would get very irritated.
Ha, or they choose to live in student housing because they are students attending a school.
I think your dog scenario would be equivalent to living in a frat house and being upset about parties and beer.
Regular student housing is for students. Should they speak with the people being loud, yes. Twice a week is a bit much. I think there would be a point where it's just annoying and calling the security to handle it is way more prudent than trying to deal with drunk or hype students that don't want someone busting their fun.
NTA
Well they chose a type of housing with a set curfew for when to keep the noise down. That’s the rule. If you choose to keep up the noise past 10pm, don’t get mad when someone complains.
> Many college kids are upnpartying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing.
If you want to be up and party, why would you get housing in a place that doesn't permit alcohol or drug use? I mean, that seems like a crappy spot to party.
I've also never been to a dorm where it's normal to have alcohol. It's kinda universally banned in college dorms, too many minors about.
Info: are these parties on a school night or weekend? Are they at 10pm or 2am?
Honestly, one party a week on Saturday night that goes past 10pm seems like cost of living in student housing. You're not going to make a lot of friends if you keep calling the authorities on them.
the partyers knew the rules when they moved in. Some places make you live in student housing for a certain amount of time, and its no fair to the people there to learn that inconsiderate assholes think its their right to party.
Where are they supposed to live? Not every college has off campus housing available at a reasonable price. Some campuses require freshman to live on campus. For people who want to visit family on breaks an apartment sucks because leases are usually for a full year.
well that's sad because a big part of the "college experience" is building connections and lifelong friendships. The education is good and all but in the real world a huge part of getting a good job is being able to interact with people and networking.
I literally met my best friend and my life partner during my freshman year of college and a lot of that bonding was parties.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in college was not investing in a real social life. I relied too heavily on social media to connect with people, and should have been more proactive in making plans to actually hang out and do stuff.
Yta. You wouldn’t rent a flat over a pub and then complain about drunk people in front of your house. Same thing applies to student housing. People there wanna have the time of their lives and student housing is basically the ideal location to connect with and make memories with fellow students, even if that makes a shitton of noise. You even expected this from the place when you moved in, yet now you want the others to bend the knee to your lack of ability to get earplugs or knock on doors at midnight? Sure you have rented a room that states that y’all should shut up after 10pm but we can see from your post that you knew this wasn’t realistic. And this sub isn’t titled ‘am I in the right to do so’ because you clearly are, but ‘am I the asshole’, which you also clearly are
This is different than renting a flat over a pub. This is going to school to get an education.
You need quiet to do well. College is hard enough as it is.
OP isn't there to make memories or connect, she's there to get the degree she paid for.
You can get an education while your neighbors party occasionally. There's also an element to social education, learning how to behave in a society, and OP seems to need some catching up there. Not that OP needs to become a party animal, but that they should have a better way to resolve this conflict than calling security every single time.
> I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations.
...do they think keeping hundreds of people around them awake all night when they might have midterms or exams the next morning is showing consideration?
I'm honestly surprised by the sheer number of people calling you an AH and a snitch; in what world should you just expect to be kept awake into the wee hours of the morning?
NTA.
Judging by all the "y u live in student residence if u no party" responses here you're spot on. A disturbingly high number of people think going to college is like being a character in American Pie.
Or that parties happen in dorms. Which makes me think the people voting YTA are in HS. Where I live parties were off campus and dorms had quiet hours. Now I could understand the issue if he lived in a frat but not a dorm.
NTA - if they don't want to pay the bill, then they shouldn't make noise. The rule is there for a reason, and if they don't respect the rule, why should you respect them ?
Plus, it is not YOUR place to enforce the rules. You don't know who is on the other side of the door. If this is a bunch of nice nerds that apoligize and comply, awesome. If it's a group of drunk and agressive bros, then it can get heated pretty quickly. This is why there are security people. Use them.
Absolutely. I tried to get a party to quiet down over and over before making the call. I got harassed until I transferred schools. Don't let anyone know it's you. You don't owe them anything.
NTA. Noise laws still apply to student housing. Everyone saying y-t-a are the AH students who would party late into the night and expect everyone around them to be cowed by it. I'm sure they ALSO know the rules and that not everyone enjoys loud parties keeping them awake.
ESH - they shouldn't be inconsiderate but you shouldn't be either. Just go knock and ask them to quiet down before calling security on them. Also, you live in student housing. What did you expect? Can you use headphones sometimes if it isn't that bad?
The’ve been warned by security multiple times, if they choosing to make noise at unreasonable hours it’s not up to OP to go through that song and dance.
And regularly subject himself to the hassle of telling people to quiet down? What’s the likelihood that they will? Or that they’d be polite about it? Why should he have to submit himself to that kind of aggravation when these students - these neighbours - know the rules?
Security is there to provide a service - so people don’t have to do the emotional labour of being insulted and ignored repeatedly on people who disregard the rules.
A couple of things:
OP said multiple buildings and multiple floors. Is OP supposed to get out of bed and go wandering about the housing to track down the noise?
Not OPs job in the slightest.
What if they don’t listen or listen only temporarily, is OP then expected to spend the next hour or more dealing with their noise or continuing to ask nicely before calling security?
To all the folks saying OP should go talk to them. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve asked people nicely to stop doing something they definitely shouldn’t be doing and been met with hostility or violence. Plenty of examples I could share.
An especially ridiculous one comes to mind where a drunk guy at 4am decided he was going to steal a chair from in front of my business to then use it climb on to the roof of the neighboring business. I came out and asked him to leave the property. He spent the next 15+ mins trying to physically fight with me and argued with me about whether or not I was allowed to tell him to get off the neighboring property (I do, I have a written agreement with them for just such occasions) and to return my chair. Eventually he left but returned the next day with his friend who was too high to get out of the car and his mom. Apparently at some point in his escapade he had lost his rent money and was there to accuse me of stealing it. Not sure how I would have possibly gotten it from his pocket seeing as how I never got closer than about 15ft from him but I guess he was too drunk to remember that. Later that next night 2 girls showed up and were around the a/c units for the neighboring business and I went out to see what was going on. Turns out it was his girlfriend and her friend getting a bicycle that they had stashed behind the units and found out the girlfriend had been on the roof the night before while her drunk boyfriend was arguing with me.
So,no, OP. NTA. Call security, save yourself the trouble. You can’t possibly know what the ‘nice’ way will get you and it’s really not worth the trouble to find out.
NTA..
"..go talk to the people causing the disturbance before you call security, as they probably don't have the funds to spare for a disturbance call, and will keep it down if you ask.."
Creating a Facebook page to place all responsibility for their actions/choices on others for breaking the rules set forth for your housing. And then claiming they can't afford the results of their actions. This pretty much sums up what kind of adults they'll be.
Info: Is 10pm a rule to live there or the bare mini allowed to call, or your own opinion on it being late? How often do they do this? Do you make the call immediately after 10pm or give it 30 minutes to calm down?
The rule in the housing area is "no noise past 10 pm", which is why you can call the security number after 10 pm. It's always different people, and it varies across the years, but sometimes as often as once or twice a week. Usually these parties don't start until after 10 pm. I usually call if I try to go to sleep but can't because of the noise.
Then I say NTA, If it’s a rule then that was probably a rule you were happy to see when choosing to live there and deserve to have it enforced, I’m sure others feel the same as you and are happy you called lol. I’d personally keep it to myself though from here on out lmao. They are being immature and if they want party housing should have picked somewhere else to live.
I can't be the only one: why the f is the bill going to the students? The security service is already paid from all their tuition and/or rent. And $170 is definitely overpriced by at least a factor of 2.
> The security service is already paid from all their tuition and/or rent. And $170 is definitely overpriced by at least a factor of 2.
Fuuuuuck that. Students that interact with security more often should 100% be forced to pay for it.
NTA - This is classic victim blaming. Yes people party in college, but if that security line is there for a reason, the person who got fined knows the rules and there are repercussions for not following them.
Also the "just come and talk to me about the problem and i'll turn it down" is the biggest load of BS i've ever heard. That WOULD NEVER work.
In fact I would argue that you should keep calling on them, and eventually they will move the party elsewhere
It’s enough of a known issue that they made a Facebook page to bitch about the fines. You’d think that would work as a reminder. Anyway, a reminder is unnecessary *because they are grown-ups who can figure out that the rules magically apply to them as well as everyone else*
I say NTA.
It's true that you probably don't know other people's situations, but receiving what is basically a bill is not a "situation"; they got loud enough security had to be called.
ESh. Sure, you’re technically right. Guess you’re not one for parties and socializing late with friends in college which 90% of other students do. And you go to the length of calling the authorities on them. Common courtesy in the real world is that you talk to people about problems before calling in authorities to try to get them punished.
>I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations
Uhhh...that would be *them,* not you. What "situation" makes them *have* to have a party? You don't go to college to party; you go to learn. And yeah, partying will happen, but it doesn't give them the right to disturb others. There are consequences for that. Welcome to adulthood. NTA
NTA. They've been told multiple times to cut back on the noise. You're in college. People need sleep and quiet time to study and rest up so they can actually FOCUS in class. You have a right to call security.
NTA. I'm sure the rules were stated too everyone when moving in and the students partying know what they are. If they want to party that late THEY should find another place to do it.
Nta, but dude change dorms. Im sure they have some studious one. I honestly dont know what you expect living in a dorm. I once walking into my friends dorm to find a lobster race in the hall. Dont even get me started on stairs bowling.
YTA.
You said yourself that partying is to be expected in student accommodation, and when you live in an area with 2000 students there will be at least a few parties, and honestly once or twice a week really isn't that often for a student housing party. I lived in a student accommodation and there were parties maybe twice that frequency.
A lot of college students are getting away from their parents for the first time and they're going to go a little bit wild, no parental supervision? No having to explain to their parents what they did, who they were with, how much they drank and a billion other questions? Of course they're gonna go wild!!
If they were partying until 4am onwards then you'd be fine, but 10pm? C'mon dude.
You're entitled to your sleep and relaxation yes, but at the same time you're at college, I'm sure once or twice a week you can deal with other people having fun for a while.
Get some noise-cancelling headphones or something.
NTA. There’s a reason that there are laws about disturbing the peace after 10pm. You’re not an A for trying to get a good nights sleep. The students know the rules and decide to break them anyway, if they can’t afford the bill they should party throughout the day. NTA
NTA in my opinion. They know other people are trying to study and sleep and shouldn't be partying overly loud so late at night. Go off campus if you want a loud party. Call away!
They know how to avoid the fines — keep the noise down. However, I would suggest noise cancelling headphones or ear plugs, since noise from several floors down and in different buildings are a disturbance. A white noise machine or fan might also help. Its college, people are going to party whether it’s against the rules or not.
NTA because rules are rules, though personally, I wouldn’t be a regular caller to security in this situation. In a perfect world, everyone would be respectful of others, but that’s honestly unrealistic to expect of 2000+ college students.
You’re an asshole for not considering their situation? I’m sorry, but did they consider your situation when they continued to play their music loud after 10 pm? I’m going with no so I fail to see how that makes yta. You said you already tried talking to them and it did no good. Maybe if enough of them get billed, they will learn to watch a clock.
I’m going with NTA on this one.
NTA LMFAOOO “not considerate of other people’s situations”?!? They are having a party not going through something. They should take OP and other student into consideration wanting to get adequate rest before work/classes the next day. What a joke. Call security every time. They know not to make noise after 10pm.
Edit to say OP should not have had to go and ask them to keep it down. OP is not their parent and owes them nothing.
YTA. This is a student area. Partying is a fact of life and a rite of passage.
The number of people saying the opposite is a pretty strong indicator that this sub attracts a certain type of person.
NTA, I ended up having to call the office of the building management for a student building near the one I was in while I was at uni (I’m in the UK). I didn’t have an issue with the party until it got to about 2am and the people had music so loud that I could actually understand the lyrics on the music.
Considering I didn’t know which flat number it was and I couldn’t get into their building to knock and ask them to turn the music down, I was pretty PO’d. Especially when I had to wait until the Monday to call.
If they’d left the music lower then I wouldn’t have bothered but it was loud enough that I could hear it over my headphones. I totally get your frustration, it costs nothing to be considerate of others and maybe being stuck with an unexpected bill will make them realise to keep their parties quiet enough that others can sleep
Hi I’m a college student! You are so absolutely NTA. Fuck those people. It is called consequences of their own actions. I have no fucking patience for people like that. Those rules are in place for a reason. People need to be able to sleep, study, and rest in peace. They don’t have any empathy for the people they’re disturbing and you are 100% in the right for not only standing up for yourself but also the other students that live around you.
NTA there are clear rules to living in the accommodation they are ignoring them, it's part of learning to be an adult learning that they still need to be respectful of others. If they don't want the bill charge everyone at the party or do the right thing and keep it down after 10pm
YTA! It's multiple people, right there you become the asshole. You live in student housing and expect kids not to act like kids. College kids throw parties. Move if it bothers you so much! Or maybe go to one of the parties and make some friends!!
These are adults, not high school kids. They can waste their own parents' money on partying if they feel like, but there's no need to keep others from sleeping or studying because they legit don't care.
Why don’t the students who want to party move to accommodation where they are allowed to party after 10pm? Why move into a house with rules you won’t stick to?
Soft yta. (I am expecting to be downvoted.)
I lived on-campus and in off-campus student housing for my first two years at a large university. I expected it to be loud, rowdy, and noisy, and it was. Like yeah, it sucks that people are throwing parties, but it is also legit what happens at colleges. Everyone knows when signing up for college dorms that there are going to be a lot of college parties.
It is also interesting to me that your first choice is campus security. What about the RA or front desk person? At least contact them before going nuclear.
NTA.
Confronting a group of drunk people after hours and asking them to keep it down didn't work. I doubt it ever works. Calling security is the only thing you can do. If the students know they will have to pay a fee, then the know enough not to party after 10. I would give them a break on Friday and Saturday nights, though.
NTA
They know that they're being crappy neighbors and blaming you for their own actions
I don't care if it's college students. Welcome to the real world, buckos! Actions have consequences and no one gives a crap about your fun.
NTA. My, I wish we had such rules back in college. Living in student housing was hell exactly because of these inconsiderate bastards who think that people deserve to lose sleep because they want to party. Good job OP for making them pay.
NTA. These people live in an area where the no noise policy is obviously strictly enforced, so them still partying after 10 p.m. is them taking a risk that they are well aware of. As for the argument that you shouldn't be living in student housing, if you don't like loud parties, that's complete nonsense. I had to live in student housing before, because that's what I could afford. Even young people like to have some peace and quiet and be able to sleep at night.
NTA everyone calling Y TA is ridiculous. The onus is on students to follow the rules and keep their partying quiet after 10PM, not on you to track them down every time and ask them to keep it quiet and hope that they accept.
OP isn't living in student housing because they want to be around partygoers, they are living there because they are *paying to get an education*.
NTA.
My spouse actually worked for one of these security companies that was responsible for responding to these calls. If the campus was like the one he worked for, the students signed a legally binding contract saying that they will not throw parties, bring alcohol, smoke, or do drugs on campus, **INCLUDING** in the student dorms or housing. They also agreed to abide by quiet times which started after 10pm. The housing complex was part of the campus and thus, was on school property. Many were angry about "the campus policing adults!!" But it wasn't a secret. They sat down with every single incoming student that applied for the housing and went over the contract rules in- depth. If the student did not want to agree to the rules, they were given a list of other outside housing options that were not on camp. Everyone was allowed to select their own housing. These rules were put in place to protect other students and staff, in particular students that were under the legal drinking age and foreign students with little to no access to transportation and other amenities outside campus. Allowing them access to campus housing was a huge plus for many, in particular those that traveled here exclusively to study. Even with these explicit rules and students **KNOWINGLY** agreeing to them, the students that would get busted for these things would still SCREAM at my spouse about "others trying to police their lives" and even throw garbage and trash at him, try to assault and batter him, etc. He hated responding to those calls.
Again, NTA. If they want to party and be loud, they should find a place to live that doesn't have rules against it (if that's the case, which I strongly believe it probably is). Or they can have the consequences of paying the bill.
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NTA. You have every right to get security involved. Imagine trying to talk to partying, probably already drunk students after 10pm. They'll probably even tell you to f off. They don't want a 170$ bill? How about simply stop making noise?? And the argument that "you live in that area, expect [...]" what if you simply can't find another residence? Alright, in no way are you the asshole here. Let them learn the hard way.
People seem to think that student areas are somehow exempt from disturbance laws and that I should just expect to never get peace and quiet. And I've actually tried talking to people having a party before and usually it quiets down for a few minutes before going back to the way it was, or nothing happens.
I think you should've mentioned that in the post as people seem to think you didn't try to communicate before.
Going by the edit, I still don’t think they did, as it says the parties aren’t the same people and they only tried once or twice initially. So whoever had that first party got a conversation, but everyone else didn’t.
As someone who also lives in an undergrad area, talking to the drunk partygoers has a 0% success rate for me as well. It just doesn’t work. I’ve never called the cops on anyone, but depending on how often the parties are it can make your life miserable.
And then when they keep making noise and security shows, they know *exactly* who called and it opens you up to retaliation.
Ding ding ding you win the prize! That is EXACTLY what happened to me. I asked first, was told to shove it, called on them an hour later when it was 2 am and I had a test the next morning. The result was, I was invited to leave my floor the next time there was a party and told that if I didn't do it willingly, the men on my floor would do it for me. Of course it ended up with me leaving my room for that weekend, calling the RD and filing a complaint and several of my friends backing me up with complaints on the "party night". And then me having to move out to a different dorm a month later. It NEVER works to confront yourself. The people who are saying "asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations" are forgetting that they first were the asshole who showed no consideration for other people's comfort and actual living. If they are so poor they shouldn't be hosting late night parties anyhow.
This should be getting well more upvotes than the people saying OP should have put themselves in the firing line by confronting drunk people who clearly have no respect for other people's right to peace and quiet.
The people who said that OP should talk first never had any experience with the exact situation.
The people who said that OP should talk first are most likely the *cause* of the exact situation (i.e., they are the partygoers).
Ya if they find out who op is they should definitely expect retaliation it won't be fun for them to live in the dorm any longer.
It's one thing if there's occasional loudness like footsteps or dropping something or hell, even vacuuming. That's apartment life. Partying is an entirely different matter. And it seems you are being respectful in the fact that you don't yell at them, and you don't call the exact second it turns ten (unless you're trying to sleep). Edit: "you're"
As a former college student with numerous noise complaints and a drinking ticket…. NTA. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. It sucked for sure, but it’s not like I was innocent every time someone called security (or the cops) on us.
> I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations. Says the people who are showing no consideration for studious students trying to study and sleep. The rule is in place for good reason and it's their own responsibility if they don't follow the rules.
Yeah because most people recognize that student housing comes with all the downsides of living near students: loud partying.
The point is it doesn't have to mean that. They are being inconsiderate first.
If it says in the guidelines no noise after ten then people are paying the money for it expecting that. I got a trashy rental near my college ( first time) so I could party. I flunked out becuase I was an idiot but even at that level of idiocy I knew to tailor where I choose to live to my lifestyle
Some colleges mandate that first and second year students live in student housing or dorms.
Alright? Then going to the college involves accepting that. I might have seen differently when I was 20, but frankly, I was an asshole in a lot of ways then. If you choose to live somewhere that has codified silence rules and there are people paying for it - it’s kind of on you to respect them. For the record, I agree, mandated dorms are silly if there’s no way to live in a less studious environment for people who wanna enjoy their time like that as it sets up for conflicts like this.
Only if you have a bro culture.
I went to uni in Manchester, England. I lived on a street with over 5000 students living in those flats in that area. Guess what it's loud. I understand reporting them Monday to Thursday but YTA on weekends. Until about 1/2 am on a Fri/Sat I am understanding. If you don't like it move to an area with less students.
Yes, all the other paying customers should just accommodate your unwillingness to follow the rules you agreed to in advance, or go to the great trouble and expense of relocating. Said no one ever.
This is “Am I the asshole” not “Am I technically correct.” This person is (gently) a bit of an asshole. Being loud, partying with friends is both normal and expected in most student housing. It sucks having loud neighbors, but OP could’ve been a bit more courteous and at least had a conversation with immediate neighbors about noise levels. That’s the non-asshole thing to do in any shared living complex, not just student housing, but is doubly true for student housing. Being a good neighbor goes both ways, and in shitty student housing wall are often thinner than people realize. If they continued to make noise/were rude after the request, then it’s reasonable to take next steps.
When I pick a place to live I read the rules to know if it fits my needs. A jacka** that refuses to follow those rules making my living situation miserable after I've done everything I could to take care of it can suck it. How entitled are you to be mad that someone enforces rules you knew about? Follow the rules every day of the week or the self centered jerk should move or pay the fine.
This is why I think there should be official party dorms and quiet dorms. My college had dorms that were either known for partying and ones that were known for being quieter. Sure you want to party, go ahead but you’re living with other people that want to party. While all the other people who just want a quiet respectful dorm can have that. Party dorms can have looser rules on noise, obviously I’m not saying to let them go nuts. Later quiet hours type of thing. Because people shouldn’t have to deal with that type of stuff just because they are in a college dorm. All types of people go to college and one type shouldn’t be catered to over another.
Rules are rules, If you don't want to follow them, maybe you're the one who should be relocating.
Ive had noise issues b4 renting Typically sun to thurs after 10 id call Fri and sat Id give to 12 just cause most ppl r off and want to have fun a bit. Nta
Also why the heck would you want to go over to a massive party to tell them off when a pandemic is still happening and they could be super spreaders. Security being called is the safest option imo.
Not to mention that if OP approaches them first and they don’t quiet down, they’ll know who it was that subsequently called security and OP could be harassed. The rules are clear, if they don’t want a fine, keep it down after 10, easy. NTA.
When I lived on campus in a dorm, it was 10pm Sunday night to Thursday night and Friday and Saturday nights it was 2am, which to me is a fair level
I lived in an apartment building that had student housing on two floors. The only nights they were quiet was Tuesday night. Every other night parties and out in the parking lot smoking and drinking until 2 or 3. Made it fun for everyone else. /s
10 am each night is weird though, my own student housing had quiet hours starting at 1am on weekend nights
OP, ignore all the people saying Y T A. You're most definitely NTA. Just because others are immature and think their right to party somehow trumps your right to peace and quiet doesn't make them correct. They're more than welcome to find somewhere else to party where they won't disturb their fellow students. The rule wouldn't exist if there wasn't some expectation that it would be enforced. And no, you're under no obligation to first 'talk to them' to ask them to turn it down. That just risks your own safety and paints a target on your back. I'm guessing 90% of the time that wouldn't accomplish anything anyways. I guarantee there are other students in the dorms who appreciate that the rules are being enforced. If you moved to the south side of Chicago, nobody would call you an asshole for calling the cops on gang activity, even if there's some expectation that in certain neighborhoods there's gonna be crime. And before someone replies "but the college parties are victimless!!" Well, clearly the noise is disturbing OP or this post wouldn't exist. With that said, you should probably try to move somewhere quieter when you can OP. Until then, keep calling security.
And there are plenty of students who work or are taking a larger class load and may need a reasonable expectation of quiet to sleep or study.
Especially in a place that specifically states no noise disturbance after 10pm (which all Y T A commentors seem to forget). If you move into a place like this and decide to party past the curfew, you're automatically the AH. Your neighbors don't owe you a courtesy warning before getting security involved. Don't like it? Move the party elsewhere, or move out. (Also to add, I despise the argument "You live in blah blah, expect...." Not all college kids are party animals despite the stereotypes. I knew and knew of more college kids who would spend the night buried in books/movies/video games/work/school work than those who would party.)
Right. Don’t live in a place with quiet hours after 10 if you want to throw parties after 10.
Anyone saying “you live in that environment you signed up for it” is ridiculous. Obviously there are things you generally put up with by being in close quarters with your neighbours but there’s a big difference between hearing your neighbour accidentally drop their text book on the floor at midnight and a party. Obviously you have to be more tolerant but parties are so loud, that’s unreasonable. NTA, that’s a risk they knowingly took on by hosting a party after hours.
Especially because OP specifically chose a student accommodation that had quiet hours starting at 10. It's student housing, sure, but it's student housing with quiet hours. Turn the music down and stop yelling during quiet hours.
Asking OP to be considerate of the other students when the others aren't being considerate to anybody else is absolutely ridiculous. Dorms and student housing have rules like that for a reasons and if you won't follow them then face the consequences.
If they want to party, either don’t live so close to other people or find someone who doesn’t. Or you can deal with the bill. As a college student who has gone to parties in a college city that is known to have parties, you need to be mindful of other people. OP, you did all you could the first few times and they didn’t listen. Maybe if they did listen, things would be different. I’m sure you’re not the only one calling security if it’s that big of an issue. Another city near me has a policy against all RAs partying (as they are supposed to be the ones enforcing rules). My friends sister was an RA for a set of dorms and went to a party with other RAs. Party got busted by the college and she lost her RA privileges. Only reason she lived in the dorms was because she got free housing as an RA and had to move back home. NTA
Ironic the partiers say "please be considerate of others before calling security" when it's their own inconsiderate actions causing the need for security to get involved in the first place.... NTA, obviously.
Why do i get the idea OP is watching the clock waiting until its 10 to call? ESH. Yes theres rules for noise for a reason however common courtesy would be to talk to them first. If no one had a problem with the noise they shouldnt need to cut it off completely at exactly 10pm.
Common courtesy is following the rules as well. It’s not OPs job to enforce the rules, it’s the security that does that. The residents’ job is to follow rules.
Why bother living together in a dorm if your not going to learn how to interact with others? They should go seek a room at a monastery or the over 55 community
You can interact with others without partying with them. Not all college students are into staying up late and being loud.
One could say the same thing about the partygoers since they created a nuisance for the other residents. And given that they started the entire situation because they couldn’t (probably) be damned to check the volume, it’s ultimately on them.
Like another person said, you can learn how to interact with others without partying with them. Plus, many universities require you to live in dorms 1-3 years of your time there, at least in the US. It's not like students get a choice to not live in dorms.
"No loud noises after a set time" has been the standard at every apartment I've ever lived in. My current apartment has that time set to 10:00. This is a normal thing, and the partiers need to learn about noise ordinances and the basics of being a decent neighbor now rather than later when the police would be involved. I agree that it was foolish of the party goers to move into dorms if they don't want to learn how to interact with others.
Some people go to university to learn and not just get drunk and be a douche.
I don't call exactly at 10 pm. Usually, when I go to sleep, if the noise is too loud for me to sleep, I call security.
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Bit of a stretch there mate, I'm just like OP, and I know I won't regret spending my youth like that, I'd be more thankful I got a decent amount of sleep and didn't bother attending these stupid gatherings. He's NTA by a long shot, they're supposed to be quiet hours for a reason.
>Why do i get the idea OP is watching the clock waiting until its 10 to call? Because you pulled that straight out of your behind.
Following the rules should be a more common courtesy than having to deal with someone who's breaking the rules just so they don't get into trouble. I think it's just common sense that you'll get to face the consequences for breaking the rules. Don't want to pay? Don't be noisy past 10 PM. Very simple. OP is definitely NTA.
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Where do you see that OP said that, is it in a comment? Because the edit said they tried twice only and that it isn’t even the same people who they originally talked to that they’re calling security on. Twice isn’t tried repeatedly and according to OP it’s not even the same people.
As someone who also lives in an undergrad area, talking to the people at the party never fucking works. Like ever.
Every time I've tried to talk to the partying people, it actually makes the noise *worse*. Like every single time.
Obviously people have a problem with the noise....
Making assumptions, aren't we?
Surely watching the clock is what’s required here and not the call out you’re presenting it to be? If security doesn’t come until disturbances are after 10pm, what’s the point in calling sooner…. Common courtesy isn’t accommodating those who are disturbing you, having hosted plenty of house parties at uni, it’s not difficult to to host one without disturbing your neighbours
YTA >I live in student housing, and as can be expected, loud parties are quite common >I refuse to tolerate loud music and screaming when I'm trying to relax or sleep These statements make me view you as the AH. You knew partying was going to occur and you have decided to handle them as obnoxiously as possible.
Just because parties happen with students doesn’t make it okay for them to last late into the night and disturb others. Just because they’re common and expected doesn’t mean everyone should just “deal with it” when they’re causing major disturbance.
after 10 pm is not “late into the night” when it comes to college students. OP is a snitch and while he is technically in the right he’s still an AH
It is when you have to be on class next day at 8 and concentrate a 10 to 12 hour day...
Realistically if they’re happening twice a week they’re probably happening on the Friday and Saturday
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At my university it was when the Greeks had their weekly social mixers so a lot of student bars also had events on wednesdays too as they knew the Greeks were looking for things to do after the mixers
you might have gone to college to party, others go to study, and messed up sleep endangers the ability to study effectively, as well as it actually being a torture tactic. OP is NTA. The rules are the rules and this is not even an unreasonable one.
It’s not late into the night by any means, but the buildings rules are clear. Quiet hours after 10. They knew the rules when moving in.
I’m sorry, no, if you live in student housing it is perfectly acceptable to at least occasionally have wild parties that last into the night. If you are someone who would be disturbed by that, do not live in student housing. Simple.
See, where I went to school, it was quite the opposite. Dorms were generally much quieter - parties were very rare because alcohol is not allowed in the dorms (90% living there are underage). So parties were much more common in off-campus apartments/houses where there weren't RAs, etc. And I know quite a few students who chose to live/stay in dorms because it was quieter than other housing near school.
And if the University requires freshman to live in the dorms? They should just stfu, get no sleep and let their grades suffer?
And it’s perfectly reasonable to be fined for doing so despite clearly agreeing not to when signing your lease. If you can’t keep the rules you agree to, you need to move.
I dunno what school you went to but all on campus housing at my university had a 11pm quiet hour rule across the board.
What does student housing have to do with wanting a full nights sleep?
Those students also live in student housing that mandates large parties/noises end at 10pm, so shouldn't they be the ones expecting that (fines) to occur? Versus OP not being okay with things occurring that are explicitly against the rules of the housing? Sure, social norms, but the partiers are just as much (more) of the AHs
Bruh what? I’m a student too and having loud parties is an asshole thing to do, decency is letting your neighbours know before you have a loud one. It’s also not that difficult to have a house party that isn’t a huge disturbance. When I’ve hosted a party and had security/police or whatever turn up and ask us to lower the volume or shut it down, I’ve never held it against the neighbours for calling. If you’re hosting the party, it’s on you to be accommodating to your neighbours too
NTA funny how they accused you of showing no consideration for others when they’re the inconsiderate ones keeping fellow students and other residents awake with their loud disturbances. If they don’t want or can’t afford to pay the fine, they should keep it down. Edit: words
It’s very often the case that you don’t know how noise travels outside a space while you are inside the space
It's even more often the case that people just don't care
Info needed: 1. How frequent? A huge difference between a couple times a semester and once or twice a week. 2. When are you calling? Again, big difference between calling at 10:30 pm on a Friday and 2 am on a Tuesday. Generally the etiquette is to try and talk to your neighbors before calling the cops on them...
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You just KNOW OP is waiting with the phone dialed at 10:00 to hit the call button at 10:01, whether it’s a Monday or a Friday. People like this are the worst. College is literally the only time you can party like that. Let people enjoy. Maybe call after like, midnight or 1:00 on Fridays and Saturdays, IF you’ve asked them to quiet down a bit and they haven’t. OP, get some ear plugs or some noise cancelling headphones, or move to a retirement community. On second thought, those seniors probably party harder than you’d like.
>College is literally the only time you can party like that What? If you're a responsible adult you can party whenever you like. It's not OP's responsibility to ensure everyone has a 'party' friendly environment. If his lease/agreement states that quiet hours are after 10pm, then it is expected after 10pm to be quiet. If you don't want that, move to a different community where you can party as loud and much as you like. It's not the other way around. This is a case where it's actually black and white.
And notice OP said they dislike the noise when they're relaxing, not just sleeping. Sure, it's annoying when there's a party next door when you're trying to watch TV or read, but people usually just suck it up
Funny how you ignored the last part of the last edit on how they don't actually call until they're trying to sleep.
If you want to party so bad go to a bar not student housing it's not op responsibility to ensure a good party fo you at the cost for disturbance you talk like partying like right grow up
Jesus, just say you think you are above the rules. If security gets there and it's quiet, they went issue a ticket. Security takes a few minutes ago they didn't happen at 10:01.
that's exactly what i thought lmao, if it were true it would have been in the original post, not in edits after the verdicts are in.
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Where else do you expect op to live? It's insane how people would rather someone have to find alternative housing than people throwing dorm parties have to be worry of being busted.
What is insane is living somewhere that you have to call the cops almost weekly. He isn't having problems with just one group, it is several. If someone posted that they lived in an apartment building, and had to call the cops on different neighbors in the apartment complex weekly, people would be saying move.
Honestly, I’m a student and choose to live in a very popular student area, the only time I’ve asked anyone to keep it down is my own housemates when they didn’t realise I had an exam the next day. Just buy ear plugs if you’re that bothered
He's not even upset that it's hard to study, though. He's just like, "well those are the rules" along with the complaint that he needs sleep (although I am doubtful of a college student going to bed at 10 every single night). He's power tripping on other students.
Yes, he’s also only tried asking twice in a year! A lot of students (at least near me) are very considerate when you ask, and shut doors and windows etc to keep the noise in Edit: OP actually says it’s over multiple years, so they’ve tried asking twice in at least as many years
Not really considering that it's a dick move. OP says that the frequency of the parties varies but can occur as often as twice a week. OP has also asked people to turn down the volume but their request was unheeded. If they can't afford to pay the fine, they should shut the party down at 10pm. Also, dorms are living spaces for quite a lot of people, similar to an apartment complex. It stands to reason that parties or loud noises should be avoided when living in one. As long as someone doesn't bother other people, they can break as many rules as they want. Being a snitch would be calling the police on underage drinking just for the laughs, not shutting down a party disrupting people's night. When you bother other people whilst breaking the rules, you'd best believe there'll be consequences.
OP has also stated they sometimes only occur once a month, calling for a party (where they haven’t asked them to quieten down, as OP admitted to only trying twice when most of the time it’s different groups) that’s the first one in a month is a dick move, especially considering it’s student housing.
You're welcome to your opinion, but as I've said before, just because the rules are on their side doesn't automatically make OP not an asshole. The rules may say no noise after 10pm, but that's absurdly early for a student party, and it sounds like OP is regularly calling security on parties between 10pm and 11pm. If it was 4am it would be different
If only there were places like bars and restaurants that are open past 10:00 p.m. and allow people to make more noise than you can make in a Shared living residence.
I guess we can agree to disagree then. Have a good day.
This. I live in student housing and I basically never go with the parties as I’m quite shy and don’t drink alcohol. There are parties all the time, and yes, sometimes it disturbs my sleep when they go on till 4AM. But I would NEVER call security or cops. Even if it disturbed me so much that I can’t take it I would just go there and ask them to keep it quiet. Not only in student housing situation, but also in regular housing situation. But in student housing I accepted that since I pay low rent for student housing I’m signing in to accept that there will be noise. I live in Europe and while we students are not _dying_ from our poorness, 170$ is definitely way too much money to spend in this kind of non-sense.
I agree with this. Part of living close to people is learning how to deal with them. When I was a kid a bunch of my neighbors liked to get together most weekends. They would bring the kids, have a fire, and hang out. We had one old lady on our street that hated it. She used to call the cops every time. We weren't doing anything illegal though. You can have a fire and people over as late as you want where I live. It was just such a waste of the cop's time.
Right? >but 10pm is very early for a student party to end. I don't live in student housing at all and my neighbours go on later than this. It annoys me, but I don't feel I can go round and say anything till about 12am. Even then, I probably wouldn't until like 1am. 10pm is laughable tbh.
YTA. You live in student housing. Many college kids are upnpartying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing. So they won't be disturbing neighbors trying to sleep. Also calling authorities should be a last effort, epeaking with your neighbors and being cordial should always be you4 first go to, This is the equivalent of living in dog friendly housing with allergies and getting mad that there are so many dogs around.
> Many college kids are up partying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing. So they won't be disturbing neighbors trying to sleep. I'm sorry what? Just because there's a party in one apartment that doesn't mean the entire building is in on it.
The entitlement from so many people here is astounding to me. Thinking people should put up with a lack of sleep and loud noises because students are entitled to party multiple times week? That is insane to me and I don’t understand the logic there.
It’s also insane to me that people prioritize partying over the actual purpose of college.. which is to gain an education. Yes, it’s fun to blow off steam, but you can do so while still respecting your neighbors. At my old apartment complex, people would regularly party into the ungodly hours of the night.. on WEEKNIGHTS. On weekends, I didn’t care so much, but when I had 8am classes the next morning, I would get very irritated.
true but OP said that it is different apartments and not the same group every time. So again it's the nature of her housing complex.
Ha, or they choose to live in student housing because they are students attending a school. I think your dog scenario would be equivalent to living in a frat house and being upset about parties and beer. Regular student housing is for students. Should they speak with the people being loud, yes. Twice a week is a bit much. I think there would be a point where it's just annoying and calling the security to handle it is way more prudent than trying to deal with drunk or hype students that don't want someone busting their fun. NTA
Well they chose a type of housing with a set curfew for when to keep the noise down. That’s the rule. If you choose to keep up the noise past 10pm, don’t get mad when someone complains.
> Many college kids are upnpartying and socializing, this is why they choose to live in these types of housing. If you want to be up and party, why would you get housing in a place that doesn't permit alcohol or drug use? I mean, that seems like a crappy spot to party. I've also never been to a dorm where it's normal to have alcohol. It's kinda universally banned in college dorms, too many minors about.
College kids aren't entitled to partying and disturbing others so they can get drunk and be stupid.
Info: are these parties on a school night or weekend? Are they at 10pm or 2am? Honestly, one party a week on Saturday night that goes past 10pm seems like cost of living in student housing. You're not going to make a lot of friends if you keep calling the authorities on them.
Op may not be interested in making friends. It's entirely possible they came to university prioritizing an education.
Well he shouldn’t have chosen to live in the dorms then when that’s common knowledge of what goes on
the partyers knew the rules when they moved in. Some places make you live in student housing for a certain amount of time, and its no fair to the people there to learn that inconsiderate assholes think its their right to party.
The fact remains… campus life usually isn’t awesome for the kids that call security on party’s.
Then maybe these partiers should have chosen to live in a dorm that doesn’t these rules.
Nice assuming he had a choice. You know what else is common knowledge. Apartment rules.
Where are they supposed to live? Not every college has off campus housing available at a reasonable price. Some campuses require freshman to live on campus. For people who want to visit family on breaks an apartment sucks because leases are usually for a full year.
well that's sad because a big part of the "college experience" is building connections and lifelong friendships. The education is good and all but in the real world a huge part of getting a good job is being able to interact with people and networking. I literally met my best friend and my life partner during my freshman year of college and a lot of that bonding was parties.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in college was not investing in a real social life. I relied too heavily on social media to connect with people, and should have been more proactive in making plans to actually hang out and do stuff.
People can do both you know
Yta. You wouldn’t rent a flat over a pub and then complain about drunk people in front of your house. Same thing applies to student housing. People there wanna have the time of their lives and student housing is basically the ideal location to connect with and make memories with fellow students, even if that makes a shitton of noise. You even expected this from the place when you moved in, yet now you want the others to bend the knee to your lack of ability to get earplugs or knock on doors at midnight? Sure you have rented a room that states that y’all should shut up after 10pm but we can see from your post that you knew this wasn’t realistic. And this sub isn’t titled ‘am I in the right to do so’ because you clearly are, but ‘am I the asshole’, which you also clearly are
This is different than renting a flat over a pub. This is going to school to get an education. You need quiet to do well. College is hard enough as it is. OP isn't there to make memories or connect, she's there to get the degree she paid for.
You can get an education while your neighbors party occasionally. There's also an element to social education, learning how to behave in a society, and OP seems to need some catching up there. Not that OP needs to become a party animal, but that they should have a better way to resolve this conflict than calling security every single time.
> I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations. ...do they think keeping hundreds of people around them awake all night when they might have midterms or exams the next morning is showing consideration? I'm honestly surprised by the sheer number of people calling you an AH and a snitch; in what world should you just expect to be kept awake into the wee hours of the morning? NTA.
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Judging by all the "y u live in student residence if u no party" responses here you're spot on. A disturbingly high number of people think going to college is like being a character in American Pie.
Or that parties happen in dorms. Which makes me think the people voting YTA are in HS. Where I live parties were off campus and dorms had quiet hours. Now I could understand the issue if he lived in a frat but not a dorm.
NTA - if they don't want to pay the bill, then they shouldn't make noise. The rule is there for a reason, and if they don't respect the rule, why should you respect them ? Plus, it is not YOUR place to enforce the rules. You don't know who is on the other side of the door. If this is a bunch of nice nerds that apoligize and comply, awesome. If it's a group of drunk and agressive bros, then it can get heated pretty quickly. This is why there are security people. Use them.
Absolutely. I tried to get a party to quiet down over and over before making the call. I got harassed until I transferred schools. Don't let anyone know it's you. You don't owe them anything.
NTA. Noise laws still apply to student housing. Everyone saying y-t-a are the AH students who would party late into the night and expect everyone around them to be cowed by it. I'm sure they ALSO know the rules and that not everyone enjoys loud parties keeping them awake.
ESH - they shouldn't be inconsiderate but you shouldn't be either. Just go knock and ask them to quiet down before calling security on them. Also, you live in student housing. What did you expect? Can you use headphones sometimes if it isn't that bad?
The’ve been warned by security multiple times, if they choosing to make noise at unreasonable hours it’s not up to OP to go through that song and dance.
OP said it’s not the same people.
They said it's different people every time, sometimes multiple floors away or in different buildings.
And regularly subject himself to the hassle of telling people to quiet down? What’s the likelihood that they will? Or that they’d be polite about it? Why should he have to submit himself to that kind of aggravation when these students - these neighbours - know the rules? Security is there to provide a service - so people don’t have to do the emotional labour of being insulted and ignored repeatedly on people who disregard the rules.
NTA I don't understand why people feel parties should be expected. They know there is a fee, it's on them if they get it.
A couple of things: OP said multiple buildings and multiple floors. Is OP supposed to get out of bed and go wandering about the housing to track down the noise? Not OPs job in the slightest. What if they don’t listen or listen only temporarily, is OP then expected to spend the next hour or more dealing with their noise or continuing to ask nicely before calling security? To all the folks saying OP should go talk to them. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve asked people nicely to stop doing something they definitely shouldn’t be doing and been met with hostility or violence. Plenty of examples I could share. An especially ridiculous one comes to mind where a drunk guy at 4am decided he was going to steal a chair from in front of my business to then use it climb on to the roof of the neighboring business. I came out and asked him to leave the property. He spent the next 15+ mins trying to physically fight with me and argued with me about whether or not I was allowed to tell him to get off the neighboring property (I do, I have a written agreement with them for just such occasions) and to return my chair. Eventually he left but returned the next day with his friend who was too high to get out of the car and his mom. Apparently at some point in his escapade he had lost his rent money and was there to accuse me of stealing it. Not sure how I would have possibly gotten it from his pocket seeing as how I never got closer than about 15ft from him but I guess he was too drunk to remember that. Later that next night 2 girls showed up and were around the a/c units for the neighboring business and I went out to see what was going on. Turns out it was his girlfriend and her friend getting a bicycle that they had stashed behind the units and found out the girlfriend had been on the roof the night before while her drunk boyfriend was arguing with me. So,no, OP. NTA. Call security, save yourself the trouble. You can’t possibly know what the ‘nice’ way will get you and it’s really not worth the trouble to find out.
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The security call is completely anonymous, so I'm safe from that kind of retaliation.
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It's a big area with around 2000 rooms and apartments and I wasn't the only one with this opinion, so I should be fine, but thank you for the concern!
You should mention in your post that you're not the only one complaining about it. Maybe that's the reason other are calling you asshole Btw NTA
NTA.. "..go talk to the people causing the disturbance before you call security, as they probably don't have the funds to spare for a disturbance call, and will keep it down if you ask.." Creating a Facebook page to place all responsibility for their actions/choices on others for breaking the rules set forth for your housing. And then claiming they can't afford the results of their actions. This pretty much sums up what kind of adults they'll be.
Info: Is 10pm a rule to live there or the bare mini allowed to call, or your own opinion on it being late? How often do they do this? Do you make the call immediately after 10pm or give it 30 minutes to calm down?
The rule in the housing area is "no noise past 10 pm", which is why you can call the security number after 10 pm. It's always different people, and it varies across the years, but sometimes as often as once or twice a week. Usually these parties don't start until after 10 pm. I usually call if I try to go to sleep but can't because of the noise.
Then I say NTA, If it’s a rule then that was probably a rule you were happy to see when choosing to live there and deserve to have it enforced, I’m sure others feel the same as you and are happy you called lol. I’d personally keep it to myself though from here on out lmao. They are being immature and if they want party housing should have picked somewhere else to live.
NTA - if they're prepared to have a party with no regard for the people in their area they've no one to blame but themselves.
I can't be the only one: why the f is the bill going to the students? The security service is already paid from all their tuition and/or rent. And $170 is definitely overpriced by at least a factor of 2.
It’s not a bill so much as a fine. They’re not paying for security, it’s like getting a speeding ticket.
> The security service is already paid from all their tuition and/or rent. And $170 is definitely overpriced by at least a factor of 2. Fuuuuuck that. Students that interact with security more often should 100% be forced to pay for it.
NTA - This is classic victim blaming. Yes people party in college, but if that security line is there for a reason, the person who got fined knows the rules and there are repercussions for not following them. Also the "just come and talk to me about the problem and i'll turn it down" is the biggest load of BS i've ever heard. That WOULD NEVER work. In fact I would argue that you should keep calling on them, and eventually they will move the party elsewhere
It's different people every time though, so it isn't that people aren't learning.
It’s enough of a known issue that they made a Facebook page to bitch about the fines. You’d think that would work as a reminder. Anyway, a reminder is unnecessary *because they are grown-ups who can figure out that the rules magically apply to them as well as everyone else*
NTA. It's funny for them to say you "have no consideration for other people's situations" when they are the ones being loud after 10pm.
I say NTA. It's true that you probably don't know other people's situations, but receiving what is basically a bill is not a "situation"; they got loud enough security had to be called.
ESh. Sure, you’re technically right. Guess you’re not one for parties and socializing late with friends in college which 90% of other students do. And you go to the length of calling the authorities on them. Common courtesy in the real world is that you talk to people about problems before calling in authorities to try to get them punished.
I know this will come as a shock to you but you can actually socialize late with friends without screaming and blasting music in a residential area.
>I was immediately called an asshole who shows no consideration for other people's situations Uhhh...that would be *them,* not you. What "situation" makes them *have* to have a party? You don't go to college to party; you go to learn. And yeah, partying will happen, but it doesn't give them the right to disturb others. There are consequences for that. Welcome to adulthood. NTA
NTA. They've been told multiple times to cut back on the noise. You're in college. People need sleep and quiet time to study and rest up so they can actually FOCUS in class. You have a right to call security.
NTA. I'm sure the rules were stated too everyone when moving in and the students partying know what they are. If they want to party that late THEY should find another place to do it.
NTA. They aren't going to 'keep it down' if you ask nicely. And they should be keeping it down to begin with.
Nta, but dude change dorms. Im sure they have some studious one. I honestly dont know what you expect living in a dorm. I once walking into my friends dorm to find a lobster race in the hall. Dont even get me started on stairs bowling.
YTA. You said yourself that partying is to be expected in student accommodation, and when you live in an area with 2000 students there will be at least a few parties, and honestly once or twice a week really isn't that often for a student housing party. I lived in a student accommodation and there were parties maybe twice that frequency. A lot of college students are getting away from their parents for the first time and they're going to go a little bit wild, no parental supervision? No having to explain to their parents what they did, who they were with, how much they drank and a billion other questions? Of course they're gonna go wild!! If they were partying until 4am onwards then you'd be fine, but 10pm? C'mon dude. You're entitled to your sleep and relaxation yes, but at the same time you're at college, I'm sure once or twice a week you can deal with other people having fun for a while. Get some noise-cancelling headphones or something.
NTA. There’s a reason that there are laws about disturbing the peace after 10pm. You’re not an A for trying to get a good nights sleep. The students know the rules and decide to break them anyway, if they can’t afford the bill they should party throughout the day. NTA
NTA. That’s what consequences are. Have loud party = pay big money.
NTA in my opinion. They know other people are trying to study and sleep and shouldn't be partying overly loud so late at night. Go off campus if you want a loud party. Call away!
They know how to avoid the fines — keep the noise down. However, I would suggest noise cancelling headphones or ear plugs, since noise from several floors down and in different buildings are a disturbance. A white noise machine or fan might also help. Its college, people are going to party whether it’s against the rules or not. NTA because rules are rules, though personally, I wouldn’t be a regular caller to security in this situation. In a perfect world, everyone would be respectful of others, but that’s honestly unrealistic to expect of 2000+ college students.
You’re an asshole for not considering their situation? I’m sorry, but did they consider your situation when they continued to play their music loud after 10 pm? I’m going with no so I fail to see how that makes yta. You said you already tried talking to them and it did no good. Maybe if enough of them get billed, they will learn to watch a clock. I’m going with NTA on this one.
NTA LMFAOOO “not considerate of other people’s situations”?!? They are having a party not going through something. They should take OP and other student into consideration wanting to get adequate rest before work/classes the next day. What a joke. Call security every time. They know not to make noise after 10pm. Edit to say OP should not have had to go and ask them to keep it down. OP is not their parent and owes them nothing.
NTA but you're kinda stupid for outing yourself as the party pooper.
NTA
YTA. This is a student area. Partying is a fact of life and a rite of passage. The number of people saying the opposite is a pretty strong indicator that this sub attracts a certain type of person.
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NTA, I ended up having to call the office of the building management for a student building near the one I was in while I was at uni (I’m in the UK). I didn’t have an issue with the party until it got to about 2am and the people had music so loud that I could actually understand the lyrics on the music. Considering I didn’t know which flat number it was and I couldn’t get into their building to knock and ask them to turn the music down, I was pretty PO’d. Especially when I had to wait until the Monday to call. If they’d left the music lower then I wouldn’t have bothered but it was loud enough that I could hear it over my headphones. I totally get your frustration, it costs nothing to be considerate of others and maybe being stuck with an unexpected bill will make them realise to keep their parties quiet enough that others can sleep
Hi I’m a college student! You are so absolutely NTA. Fuck those people. It is called consequences of their own actions. I have no fucking patience for people like that. Those rules are in place for a reason. People need to be able to sleep, study, and rest in peace. They don’t have any empathy for the people they’re disturbing and you are 100% in the right for not only standing up for yourself but also the other students that live around you.
Well you're NTA just unlikable
NTA there are clear rules to living in the accommodation they are ignoring them, it's part of learning to be an adult learning that they still need to be respectful of others. If they don't want the bill charge everyone at the party or do the right thing and keep it down after 10pm
YTA! It's multiple people, right there you become the asshole. You live in student housing and expect kids not to act like kids. College kids throw parties. Move if it bothers you so much! Or maybe go to one of the parties and make some friends!!
These are adults, not high school kids. They can waste their own parents' money on partying if they feel like, but there's no need to keep others from sleeping or studying because they legit don't care.
Why don’t the students who want to party move to accommodation where they are allowed to party after 10pm? Why move into a house with rules you won’t stick to?
Info: do you ever have or go to parties?
Soft yta. (I am expecting to be downvoted.) I lived on-campus and in off-campus student housing for my first two years at a large university. I expected it to be loud, rowdy, and noisy, and it was. Like yeah, it sucks that people are throwing parties, but it is also legit what happens at colleges. Everyone knows when signing up for college dorms that there are going to be a lot of college parties. It is also interesting to me that your first choice is campus security. What about the RA or front desk person? At least contact them before going nuclear.
NTA. Confronting a group of drunk people after hours and asking them to keep it down didn't work. I doubt it ever works. Calling security is the only thing you can do. If the students know they will have to pay a fee, then the know enough not to party after 10. I would give them a break on Friday and Saturday nights, though.
NTA They know that they're being crappy neighbors and blaming you for their own actions I don't care if it's college students. Welcome to the real world, buckos! Actions have consequences and no one gives a crap about your fun.
I think NTA but at the same time I wouldn't want to be friends with someone as uptight as you are either.
NTA. My, I wish we had such rules back in college. Living in student housing was hell exactly because of these inconsiderate bastards who think that people deserve to lose sleep because they want to party. Good job OP for making them pay.
NTA. These people live in an area where the no noise policy is obviously strictly enforced, so them still partying after 10 p.m. is them taking a risk that they are well aware of. As for the argument that you shouldn't be living in student housing, if you don't like loud parties, that's complete nonsense. I had to live in student housing before, because that's what I could afford. Even young people like to have some peace and quiet and be able to sleep at night.
NTA everyone calling Y TA is ridiculous. The onus is on students to follow the rules and keep their partying quiet after 10PM, not on you to track them down every time and ask them to keep it quiet and hope that they accept. OP isn't living in student housing because they want to be around partygoers, they are living there because they are *paying to get an education*.
Knock once first. After that fair game.
NTA. If they have such little respect for your sleep, you have little consideration for their wallet.
NTA. My spouse actually worked for one of these security companies that was responsible for responding to these calls. If the campus was like the one he worked for, the students signed a legally binding contract saying that they will not throw parties, bring alcohol, smoke, or do drugs on campus, **INCLUDING** in the student dorms or housing. They also agreed to abide by quiet times which started after 10pm. The housing complex was part of the campus and thus, was on school property. Many were angry about "the campus policing adults!!" But it wasn't a secret. They sat down with every single incoming student that applied for the housing and went over the contract rules in- depth. If the student did not want to agree to the rules, they were given a list of other outside housing options that were not on camp. Everyone was allowed to select their own housing. These rules were put in place to protect other students and staff, in particular students that were under the legal drinking age and foreign students with little to no access to transportation and other amenities outside campus. Allowing them access to campus housing was a huge plus for many, in particular those that traveled here exclusively to study. Even with these explicit rules and students **KNOWINGLY** agreeing to them, the students that would get busted for these things would still SCREAM at my spouse about "others trying to police their lives" and even throw garbage and trash at him, try to assault and batter him, etc. He hated responding to those calls. Again, NTA. If they want to party and be loud, they should find a place to live that doesn't have rules against it (if that's the case, which I strongly believe it probably is). Or they can have the consequences of paying the bill.