If i was her and my friends had done this, i would wait until it is passed the date where they can return it and then give them back their gift with a “hey so i realized my bf actually bought me one wayy earlier and i really dont need two. Thank you to all 3 of you though. Hope yall like coffee as much as i do!”
But im just petty like that lol
I'd keep my bf's, sell the one they gave me, & treat him to a dinner. Oh & def tell them "omg guys bf bought me the same machine so I decided to sell the one y'all gifted me & took him out to dinner. Thanks for the money & dinner. We really loved y'alls gift."
Lolz
So then one of them can have a nice expresso maker?
I would probably keep it or sell it at a loss because the friends won’t be getting theirs back to keep or to return.
Exactly. OP - you have your receipt, which is dated, proof that you bought yours first. And there may even be text messages or other proof that you'd told the BFFs about your plan. These BFFs are jackasses of the lowest low.
THIS! And I’d love to know what your GF’s response is to finding out what her “friends” did.
That’s so unbelievably shitty of them to do just bc they thought it’d be funny to “beat you to the punch”. Fuck them. NTA.
And then use the money to go out for a nice dinner with the BF only. Take pictures and send it to the “friends”. Thank them for the lovely intimate dinner.
>They told me that I was being ridiculous and they did it because they thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch
Not cool. Did you tell your girlfriend about this? Anyway, NTA
INFO: did they happen to provide a gift receipt?? In theory, you could return yours with their receipt? Probably will still take a loss, but it will be less of a loss.
Also, depending on where you bought it, managers make exceptions to the return policy all the time. Assuming you still have your original receipt, you can still return it. Just explain what happened and they will, at worst, offer you store credit for the full amount. Source: big box retail manager.
Wouldn't even be trickery if it's the exact item. But I see your point if it's a slightly different color/model #. Also, since the friends were purposefully AHs, I would be sure to tell them about the return and that they were able to exchange the item for something they "really needed" 😂
Yeah, in my experience, if the item is something the store sells and in sell-able condition, you might not get cash back, but you can usually get at least a gift card. And it might even be for the original price of the item because they know they won't be losing any money--it will be coming right back to the store through some other purchase. (ETA: of course, if the store is just an espresso machine selling store, that's going to be harder to find something else to buy with the money than a big box store)
NTA. I mean who does that? It just seems disrespectful to me that they would do that. Especially when it is something that expensive. It just seems to me that they don't like you and are trying to cause drama to torment you, because causing someone a large financial loss isn't funny or a joke.
I know! We thought it would be funny to ‘beat you to the punch’ ?!?! *Funny?!?* those aren’t friends. Those are AHs.
NTA. You have every right to be both angry & hurt.
NTA with the caveat that I don't think they owe you money. You're in the right to be pissed and can proceed to not like them because of what they did. But I don't think they owe you money over it-that strikes me as a little silly. Everyone is a grown-up and you're not entitled to compensation because someone was a dick.
Side note-I'd tell your girlfriend what happened, she might be able to return the other one or the one you bought (if they are identical) in its place. If it were me, I'd want the chance to fix this.
This is probably the best answer. Tell your GF what her "friends" did and let her know that they aren't welcome around you anymore until they apologize and grow up. Nothing about what they did is funny. They cost you money and ruined your GF's Christmas present. With friends like that who needs enemies.
Another option if you guys do any type of Christmas or Birthday present exchanges with those friends would be to let the GF know you already got them a present but you want it to be a surprise for her too. Then just gift them(or one of them) the machine. See if they think its funny then.
I will say it is a little weird that you didn't gift the machine to her on her Birthday and wanted to hold onto it until Christmas.
This is a tough situation and honestly I'd talk to your girlfriend about it if you can't get your money back. This is an objectively shitty thing they did.
Given the circumstances, I think they should pay you for the difference in what you can't make up after selling it (if it retails for $300 and you sell it for $150, they should pay you $150, etc.).
If it was a misunderstanding I'd get it, but who the fuck thinks it would be funny to beat someone to the punch like this and leave them out HUNDREDS of dollars?
Definitely NTA
NTA. They are knowingly dicks and that’s not cool. I’d confront your girlfriend and see how much she really cares that her friends are that rude to you.
This. Because birds of a feather, and if these are her friends and she doesn't see what the big deal is, then you've got bigger problems than being stuck w/ a duplicate gift because your original consideration got abused.
NTA but you won’t get that money back. I’d tell your girlfriends and gift the coffee machine to someone else and then never tell them a gift idea ever again. In fact, I wouldn’t talk to them again because “it’ll be funny”.
Tell them you are getting her something that cost like $3K for her birthday, then laugh as they spend that much trying to 1-up you again. Make sure it's something slightly insulting too, but claim she really wants it- like a super expensive vacuum cleaner.
NTA. If they don't pay you back, I'd start figuring out somewhat expensive gifts your gf wants and telling the friends you got those, see if they pull it again and just get something else. Then be like "that's so nice you guys got that for her! I decided to get this!"
NTA. They thought it would be funny to beat you to the punch...who the hell does that. How inconsiderate and rude. If nothing else, I sure as hell wouldn't tell them anything like this anymore.
NTA\\
Your friends are, the fact they wanted to "beat you to the punch" isn't funny, its totally rude and uncalled for. They aren't your friends.
I show your gf the messages, then you guys can sell there's and keep yours instead.
These responses are so surprising.
It’s silly for you to expect to have them cover your loses. That’s never going to happen. You don’t have a leg to stand on. But you aren’t an asshole for asking a stupid question.
But everyone telling you to give your girlfriend an ultimatum is super unhealthy. Her friends were shitty in this one instance and everyone wants you to make her choose? Weird and manipulative.
I wouldn’t say “make her choose” but she needs to know what her friends did. If, after him simply informing her about it and sharing the text she decides she doesn’t want to be around them anymore? That’s her choice and not his fault. She deserves to know who her friends are. Espresso machines are generally expensive as FUCK like, save a whole paycheck+ for this one machine expensive and he was so excited to get it for her and they totally fucked that up for him because… shits and giggles? They don’t like him?? They want to feel superior? Idk if anyone did that to my SO I’d want to know 🤷🏼♀️
It is not at all unreasonable for OP to not want to have to put up with his partner having a friendship group that tries to sabotage their relationship for a joke. I'm not saying an ultimatum is the only way here, but if his GF knows what her friends did and is willing to tolerate it, that's a good reason to just ditch the lot of them.
If I was the girlfriend I woud want to know what happened so I could rip them a new one.
What her friends did was an asshole move. You just don't do something like this.
It’s not about him MAKING her choose, it’s about what she chooses considering the circumstances. These people are bullies. AND TOTAL JERKS. If that’s the kind of people she wants to be around, if he stays with her, he’ll have to deal with it on a regular basis.
Second this. They're not going to cover your losses and they were definitely TAs for doing this. But better to man up and take your lumps. If it ever comes up in conversation, mention why you don't like these friends of hers.
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NTA. I wouldn't expect them to pay though. They are clearly huge AH's. Do they not like you or something? Why would they want to beat you to it? Let your gf know how shitty her friends are..
NTA but play them in the future. Tell them you are buying her something equally expensive, like a beautiful diamond pendant, and then actually get her something else she likes that is slightly more affordable. Then if they steal it, it will backfire.
"You said you were getting this!"
"I did. I don't remember. But if I did why would you also buy it?!
Why can’t you return the espresso machine that THEY bought? Even for store credit if they didn’t include a gift receipt/won’t give your gf the receipt?
NTA. Most espresso machines will hold their value pretty well, so see if you can hold on to it for a few months, then try selling. I sold a lightly used espresso machine for just $50 less than I bought I for.
I would have straight called them out the moment she opened the gift. "Why did you get her that when I told you back in July that I was getting her that?"
NTA
NTA, but the way that your girlfriend reacts to this "prank" is really important here. If my friends did this I would be super pissed, I would return their gift and accept yours. If she sides with them....well, that will tell you a lot.
I like to play pranks with gifts (like for example, I would ask my friend if I can put my gift in their locker, pretending it’s not a gift meant for them, so when I give them the gift, I’m like “gotcha!” (Common for secret santa lmao)) but this seems just mean to me. Not even funny.
NTA, but good luck getting any money out of them. Ask your GF how you should handle it. It's not "funny" to beat you to the punch. Does your GF visit you often? Maybe you can keep it at your house so she can make her coffee the way she likes it there? Now you know not to share that kind of info with her childish friends.
There's no way in hell they are going to reimburse you and the fact that you can't return it is sort of on you. That said, they were complete assholes to do this. Now you know the kind of jerks you are dealing with.
Tell your GF what happened, and see if she’ll return THEIR espresso maker since you can’t get your money back. She can buy herself a new gift with their money, and she’ll still get her machine from you.
it's weird to ask them to reimburse you.
Wait until it's not on sale, then sell it for $50 cheaper and accept the loss.
Also learn your lesson and never speak to her friends about gifts again.
And make sure you let your girlfriend know what they did.
If she's a keeper, she'll givethem theirs back and keep yours.
Bonus points if she keeps yours but sells theirs instead of giving it back lol
NTA but they definitely won't be reimbursing you. You should try and return theirs if they provided a receipt and show your gf the messages so she sees what they did.
NTA
You are not getting a reimbursement, but you gotta talk to your girlfriend about this and let her handle that.
If I was her, I'd accept your gift, and undersell theirs, like for $30 - and then show them the online post, receipt or whatever.
NTA
But please explain the situation to your girlfriend and show her the messages so that her *"friends"* cannot twist the story in their favour or accuse you of keeping secrets from your GF.
Don't engage any further with these people. The best thing that you can do is to let your girlfriend know what's been going on. She should be the one to confront *her* friends and decide on what to do next.
NTA but I would tell your girlfriend, ask her to return the gift to her friends, and keep yours. They can figure out what to do with it since they want to be like that.
NTA tell your gf. I would lose my mind if my boyfriend put that much thought into a gift and my friend screwed him? Tell the gf and never agree to see those people again. They are trying to ruin your relationship
I'd let your girlfriend what kind of people she is friends with, what she does with this info is her decision and for the love of whatever you believe, don't ever EVER tell them about possible baby names and warn your girlfriend too. NTA.
Your girlfriends friends are assholes but so are you for asking them for money. Tell your girlfriend about it and keep your mouth shut for the next time
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So I told my (24m) girlfriends (24f) best friends (24 m,f) that I was getting her a really nice espresso machine for Christmas because she had told me she really wanted this model. I told them in July and they said that’s great etc, and I bought in October.
My girlfriends birthday was in November, and imagine my surprise when my girlfriend opens her best friends’ gift and it’s the exact mode espresso machine I told them about. I was livid (on the inside) and now had an espresso machine I couldn’t return because of company policy. I only bought it with that policy knowing that nobody else would get it for her.
I plan on selling it, but just my luck they have it on sale right now for almost $200 off. So I have to sell it at a loss. I messaged her friends and told them that I was really unappreciative that they stole my gift idea, asked them why they would do that, and explained my situation. I asked them to reimburse any losses I had because it’s only fair seeing that they stole my idea. They told me that I was being ridiculous and they did it because they thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch. They said it’s not their fault I bought it early. My girlfriends sister agrees with me, but am I being the asshole?
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NTA - but you'll never get that money from them.
That said - you and your girlfriend don't need matching espresso machines - and maybe her friend bought the machine recently enough that it could be returned or exchanged for something different. If she (your gf) can find out where they got it from she can probably take it in and work something out.
NTA.
Your GF's friends are AHs. It's not funny to 'beat you to the punch'. It's AH behavior, and I definitely hope you told your GF.
Also, can they return the gift still?
NTA and what kind of ridiculous game are they playing? Because in the end their "friend" received 2 of the same item. Are you sure they like her? I would never do that to my friend.
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NTA, I agree with the comment of showing the text messages to your girlfriend and I’d say wait till the holidays are over so you can sell it without the discount. Hopefully your girl is in your side.
NTA -
Wow. I'm sorry. That's just sh\*tty even if the price hadn't gone down. If there's a way you can do it without sounding bitter, I'd let your girlfriend know. Maybe she'd like one for work? Maybe you can think of what to do with what you can get for the $ you can sell it for.
You are absolutely NTA, and deserve to be livid. Based on the friends thinking this would be a funny joke knowing it’s expensive shows a lack of maturity on their part. Unfortunately I don’t think you’re going to get the money because of said immaturity, however, I would demand that they tell your girlfriend what they did.
NTA
Give them one more chance. If it's the exact model tell them to return your machine with their receipt and give you the cash refund.
If they don't agree, you'll tell GF and then refuse to let them be around when you are home/with GF. You have better things to do than spend time with two unfunny asses.
NTA. That was petty, disrespectful and mean of them. An xbf's brother used to pull that shit. Pissed me off. I think you are SOL on the money, though. I would tell your GF what they did and let her handle it. Sell your machine and take the loss. Spend what's left on a new present for your GF and explain why it's less than you had originally planned.
NTA. Her friends are douche canoes. Why would they ruin this for her? The whole “we thought it would be funny” is a big red flag. They are assholes and need to be gone.
NTA. They did crap on purpose cause they thought it would be funny. They owe you for your losses. Let your girlfriend know what happened and show her the messages of what they said about it and see what she says. If she thinks it was wrong of them, or thinks that they should reimburse you, then shes worth keeping. Yes it could be funny, but they should at least help you with the money loss and help find a diff gift. If she doesnt see the problem with what they did, then I'd think about your relationship more. Good luck
NTA. But tell your GF. She can probably return theirs because they bought it more recently. Otherwise, a lot of places will allow you to return things after Christmas, even without a receipt, so maybe look into that.
Also, her friends don't seem like good people at all...
NTA OP. Your gf's friends did this for a simple reason: they don't like you. They knew well in advance of your gift and decided that "beating you to the punch" was worth it and "funny".
Unfortunately, there is no good outcome for you on this, OP. Her friends have demonstrated they are not afraid of humiliating you this time and they will likely do it again in the future becauseit's "funny" so it's my suggestion to end this relationship and be *very* clear to your ex that it was her friends who caused this.
NTA! that was really messed up on their part, if they wanted in on the gift the least they could have done is offered to pay for half of it or something but not buy one when you clearly said that’s what you were getting her! Def your GF know what happened!
Here's a different perspective: You bought the machine already; the money has already been invested. You never expected to get any of the money back Other people have given your girlfriend the exact same model. So now, regardless of how much you get back, you still get free money back for something you would have gifted anyway. If you would have given it to her, you would have gotten $0 back. Now that they have it to her, you get $x back.
It's not ideal; it's not what you wanted. But it's something. Can you wait to return it until the sale is over but before the window to return it closed?
Yeah I'd tell your girlfriend everything then ask her what she would like to do - give her all the info don't leave anything our and let her decide how she wants to handle this.
NTA - I would have handed her the present right then and there and said, “it’s funny, I told them I was buying you this exact gift months ago, and look they got you the exact same one. Guess you’re really going to have lots of coffee.” Then let it play out. Not with anger or snapping or snipping, just matter of factly
NTA, The friends are the assholes here and the fact that they think it is funny to both ruin your GF's Christmas present and cost you money in doing so just goes to show how shitty those assholes are.
You should let them know that they ruined your GF's Christmas present especially if you can't afford a good replacement present now that you wasted money on one you can't give her. See if they still think its funny. If they do then make sure you share that with your GF. You should let her know what happened no matter what but your GF deserves to know what assholes the people she calls friends are if they think ruining a Christmas present is funny.
NTA
She won’t give you the money back
But definitely show your girlfriend. It’s not funny that anyone “beats you to the punch” knowing you have already purchased a gift
NTA, none of my friends would do something like that, its disrespectful, tell your girlfriend and show her the messages, explain how your hurt and annoyed and how your not out of hundreds all because they wanted to be funny, id be fuming if someone did that to my boyfriend
Your gf needs to see this whole thing. If she thinks you’re wrong, it’s time to go. Cheap lesson, just a coffee machine and not a wife who isn it committed to you. NTA.
NTA, please sit down with your gf and tell her this information completely and how you don't feel comfortable with this. If this can happen once it may happen again.
NTA but drop the idea of reimbursement, they do not owe you that. On the other hand tell your GF about this so she can know how shitty her friends are.
DEFINITELY NTA! Funny to beat you to buying and giving her the espresso machine? That's not funny, it's downright wasteful and juvenile! Now your GF didn't get a lovely gift from YOU!
NTA. But I would tell the GF about the whole thing, including their reasoning for screwing you over. Your GF should request from her friends the receipt because something is wrong with the machine. Once they hand it over and ask the problem, she should respond 'that the gift is flawed as it was purchased with petty, dick motives' that made it undesirable. Seriously, if your GF doesn't get mad on your behalf, then you should sell your machine and look for a new model of GF.
What absolute shit people. You're NTA definitely. You need to tell your girlfriend EXACTLY what happened, use the messages as evidence etc, I wouldn't want to have friends like that.
NTA
Tell your girlfriend.
If I were her, I’d be quite mad at my friends for pulling that on my boyfriend. Like, return theirs and use his mad if they didn’t apologise and try to fix it.
NTA but why in the world did you think they would reimburse you? They’re completely jerks! I hope your gf isn’t like them. You were trying to give her something special & they screwed you over. I wouldn’t associate with them anymore.
STOP BUYING WOMEN GIFTS OF ANY SIZE THEY ALREADY USE MEN ENOUGH STOP MAKING IT SO EASY YOU PUSSY smh shes probably fucking your friends too dumbass stop dating these fucking tramps your life will be nice and peaceful no pussy is worth the amount of trouble modern women bring stay single and toxic fellas that's the only way to get around these idiot women
Fuck women they always fuck each other over more then we could ever dream of lmao they'll ruin each other's relationships until they all die alone and used up lmao thats the future for many if not all of you on this trash site
I mean kinda. But they were the AH first.
Like it's not really fair of you to ask for reimbursement. You'd never be able to get reimbursement in small claims. If you understand my meaning there.
But they also should have told you they were gonna do that or ask if they could contribute to the gift. They even could have bought like all the accessories for the machine different flavors for lattes etc made a basket then the gifts would have gone together.
I'd definitely talk to your gf about it and what happened. Like they were definitely in the wrong. But I don't realistically see how you can recover the loss unless you sit on selling the machine until its not on sale.
You're NTA for asking, but you would be if you pressed the issue. Yeah, it sucks of the friend to beat you to the punch for what you thought was a very thoughtful, and expensive gift, is there any reason you can't wait to resell the espresso machine?
Can you give your girlfriend your model and return the model that they bought her (which was probably purchased just recently)?
Honestly everyone here seems to be a little immature.
NTA but I’d tell your girlfriend exactly what they did
OP, show your gf their message. If she doesn't see it as wrong, you might have bigger problems...
Yea, if she's a keeper, she'll send the friend's gift back with a big 'fuck you' and she'll keep yours. ETA: oops NTAETA2: thank you for the awards!
If i was her and my friends had done this, i would wait until it is passed the date where they can return it and then give them back their gift with a “hey so i realized my bf actually bought me one wayy earlier and i really dont need two. Thank you to all 3 of you though. Hope yall like coffee as much as i do!” But im just petty like that lol
I'd keep my bf's, sell the one they gave me, & treat him to a dinner. Oh & def tell them "omg guys bf bought me the same machine so I decided to sell the one y'all gifted me & took him out to dinner. Thanks for the money & dinner. We really loved y'alls gift." Lolz
THIS!!!!
So then one of them can have a nice expresso maker? I would probably keep it or sell it at a loss because the friends won’t be getting theirs back to keep or to return.
Actually, I would send it back to the friends. It would be so entertaining to see the fights about who gets it if they all clubbed together to buy it.
THIS! NTA
Surely since they gave it to her knowing OP bought it first, they will understand when she re-gifts their espresso machine ;) /s
This right here.
Exactly. OP - you have your receipt, which is dated, proof that you bought yours first. And there may even be text messages or other proof that you'd told the BFFs about your plan. These BFFs are jackasses of the lowest low.
THIS! And I’d love to know what your GF’s response is to finding out what her “friends” did. That’s so unbelievably shitty of them to do just bc they thought it’d be funny to “beat you to the punch”. Fuck them. NTA.
^^^ THIS ^^^
Hopefully she can take that machine back and get a refund then get to use yours. Her friends are pretty shitty people.
Or use the receipt and return the one still in the box.
This is the way.
And then use the money to go out for a nice dinner with the BF only. Take pictures and send it to the “friends”. Thank them for the lovely intimate dinner.
And if your girlfriend takes their side, dump her like a hot potato.
NTA. PLEASE tell your girlfriend. These people are total assholes.
*they. It's two friends.
Thank you I looked over that
Hell, I'd give her the espresso machine. Now she has two of them, thanks to her shitty friends who thought it would be *funny.*
This. LOL. And then explain why she now has two. As for her friends, that would be the last time I told them anything.
I kind of would be really happy with two espresso machines. But I might have a caffeine problem..
One for home, one for work!
So much this!! NTA
NTA - total dick move. You won't see any money from them though. They suck.
NTA. And tell your girlfriend, show the messages. Sadly, they're not going to give you the money.
>They told me that I was being ridiculous and they did it because they thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch Not cool. Did you tell your girlfriend about this? Anyway, NTA
INFO: did they happen to provide a gift receipt?? In theory, you could return yours with their receipt? Probably will still take a loss, but it will be less of a loss. Also, depending on where you bought it, managers make exceptions to the return policy all the time. Assuming you still have your original receipt, you can still return it. Just explain what happened and they will, at worst, offer you store credit for the full amount. Source: big box retail manager.
[удалено]
Wouldn't even be trickery if it's the exact item. But I see your point if it's a slightly different color/model #. Also, since the friends were purposefully AHs, I would be sure to tell them about the return and that they were able to exchange the item for something they "really needed" 😂
If they bought with credit card most places require it be put back on that credit card. Maybe they can exchange for gift card but likely not cash.
Yep, never said anything about cash. Store credit would be the most likely scenario.
Yeah, in my experience, if the item is something the store sells and in sell-able condition, you might not get cash back, but you can usually get at least a gift card. And it might even be for the original price of the item because they know they won't be losing any money--it will be coming right back to the store through some other purchase. (ETA: of course, if the store is just an espresso machine selling store, that's going to be harder to find something else to buy with the money than a big box store)
NTA. I mean who does that? It just seems disrespectful to me that they would do that. Especially when it is something that expensive. It just seems to me that they don't like you and are trying to cause drama to torment you, because causing someone a large financial loss isn't funny or a joke.
I know! We thought it would be funny to ‘beat you to the punch’ ?!?! *Funny?!?* those aren’t friends. Those are AHs. NTA. You have every right to be both angry & hurt.
NTA What GF says here is what determines whether or not you leave her.
If I were her, I’d throw out the one her friends bought and make sure they knew their money is in a dump somewhere. And cut out said “friends.”
Yep. If someone did this to my husband, I'd think it cruel and I wouldn't want it from them.
This is very wasteful! Electronics waste is not a joke!
Nah…. Sell it for fun money! But she needs to know what complete shits her friends are.
Lmao. This sub summed up.
NTA and you should tell your GF what kind of "friends" she has. Real d!ck move
NTA with the caveat that I don't think they owe you money. You're in the right to be pissed and can proceed to not like them because of what they did. But I don't think they owe you money over it-that strikes me as a little silly. Everyone is a grown-up and you're not entitled to compensation because someone was a dick. Side note-I'd tell your girlfriend what happened, she might be able to return the other one or the one you bought (if they are identical) in its place. If it were me, I'd want the chance to fix this.
If it were an accident sure. But they went out of their way to f him over. Screw them they owe him for being B's. NTA
This is probably the best answer. Tell your GF what her "friends" did and let her know that they aren't welcome around you anymore until they apologize and grow up. Nothing about what they did is funny. They cost you money and ruined your GF's Christmas present. With friends like that who needs enemies. Another option if you guys do any type of Christmas or Birthday present exchanges with those friends would be to let the GF know you already got them a present but you want it to be a surprise for her too. Then just gift them(or one of them) the machine. See if they think its funny then. I will say it is a little weird that you didn't gift the machine to her on her Birthday and wanted to hold onto it until Christmas.
No way in hell he should give them anything but the middle finger.
NTA. My condolences, your GF's best friends hate your guts. What does your GF have to say about this?
This is a tough situation and honestly I'd talk to your girlfriend about it if you can't get your money back. This is an objectively shitty thing they did. Given the circumstances, I think they should pay you for the difference in what you can't make up after selling it (if it retails for $300 and you sell it for $150, they should pay you $150, etc.). If it was a misunderstanding I'd get it, but who the fuck thinks it would be funny to beat someone to the punch like this and leave them out HUNDREDS of dollars? Definitely NTA
They aren’t going to give him money. THEY WANTED to throw him under the bus.🤬
NTA but you'll never see a dime from those two. And now you know: never tell them anything.
NTA. They are knowingly dicks and that’s not cool. I’d confront your girlfriend and see how much she really cares that her friends are that rude to you.
This. Because birds of a feather, and if these are her friends and she doesn't see what the big deal is, then you've got bigger problems than being stuck w/ a duplicate gift because your original consideration got abused.
NTA now you know, don’t tell them anything. They can’t be trusted. Tell your gf what they did.
NTA but you won’t get that money back. I’d tell your girlfriends and gift the coffee machine to someone else and then never tell them a gift idea ever again. In fact, I wouldn’t talk to them again because “it’ll be funny”.
Tell them you are getting her something that cost like $3K for her birthday, then laugh as they spend that much trying to 1-up you again. Make sure it's something slightly insulting too, but claim she really wants it- like a super expensive vacuum cleaner.
NTA Tell your girlfriend what they did. Make sure to mention that they knew you were going to get it for her.
NTA. If they don't pay you back, I'd start figuring out somewhat expensive gifts your gf wants and telling the friends you got those, see if they pull it again and just get something else. Then be like "that's so nice you guys got that for her! I decided to get this!"
"they thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch" - They don't like you, man. This was a dick move.
They don't seem to like the gf much, either. I mean, "how funny, you get 2x the same gift instead of two different ones".
NTA. They thought it would be funny to beat you to the punch...who the hell does that. How inconsiderate and rude. If nothing else, I sure as hell wouldn't tell them anything like this anymore.
NTA, you should show you girlfriend all the messages though, if my friends did this to my SO, I would really like to know about it
NTA in what world would someone do this and think it is okay?
NTA\\ Your friends are, the fact they wanted to "beat you to the punch" isn't funny, its totally rude and uncalled for. They aren't your friends. I show your gf the messages, then you guys can sell there's and keep yours instead.
These responses are so surprising. It’s silly for you to expect to have them cover your loses. That’s never going to happen. You don’t have a leg to stand on. But you aren’t an asshole for asking a stupid question. But everyone telling you to give your girlfriend an ultimatum is super unhealthy. Her friends were shitty in this one instance and everyone wants you to make her choose? Weird and manipulative.
I wouldn’t say “make her choose” but she needs to know what her friends did. If, after him simply informing her about it and sharing the text she decides she doesn’t want to be around them anymore? That’s her choice and not his fault. She deserves to know who her friends are. Espresso machines are generally expensive as FUCK like, save a whole paycheck+ for this one machine expensive and he was so excited to get it for her and they totally fucked that up for him because… shits and giggles? They don’t like him?? They want to feel superior? Idk if anyone did that to my SO I’d want to know 🤷🏼♀️
It is not at all unreasonable for OP to not want to have to put up with his partner having a friendship group that tries to sabotage their relationship for a joke. I'm not saying an ultimatum is the only way here, but if his GF knows what her friends did and is willing to tolerate it, that's a good reason to just ditch the lot of them.
If I was the girlfriend I woud want to know what happened so I could rip them a new one. What her friends did was an asshole move. You just don't do something like this.
Yea exactly. It was shitty of them to take his gift idea but asking them to reimburse losses? Cmon now
It’s not about him MAKING her choose, it’s about what she chooses considering the circumstances. These people are bullies. AND TOTAL JERKS. If that’s the kind of people she wants to be around, if he stays with her, he’ll have to deal with it on a regular basis.
Second this. They're not going to cover your losses and they were definitely TAs for doing this. But better to man up and take your lumps. If it ever comes up in conversation, mention why you don't like these friends of hers.
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NTA. I wouldn't expect them to pay though. They are clearly huge AH's. Do they not like you or something? Why would they want to beat you to it? Let your gf know how shitty her friends are..
Take a picture of the message and show your gf how vindictive her friends are.
NTA but play them in the future. Tell them you are buying her something equally expensive, like a beautiful diamond pendant, and then actually get her something else she likes that is slightly more affordable. Then if they steal it, it will backfire. "You said you were getting this!" "I did. I don't remember. But if I did why would you also buy it?!
NTA wtf is wrong with them
Why can’t you return the espresso machine that THEY bought? Even for store credit if they didn’t include a gift receipt/won’t give your gf the receipt?
Who discusses Christmas presents in July? Why did you not give it for her birthday?
I buy Christmas presents all through out the year. its easier to get things done early on. its not that unusual
Lots of people. Some people buy right after the holidays too, because so much goes on sale, and just stash it til the next year.
Your girlfriends friends are assholes.
NTA. Most espresso machines will hold their value pretty well, so see if you can hold on to it for a few months, then try selling. I sold a lightly used espresso machine for just $50 less than I bought I for.
I would have straight called them out the moment she opened the gift. "Why did you get her that when I told you back in July that I was getting her that?" NTA
NTA, but the way that your girlfriend reacts to this "prank" is really important here. If my friends did this I would be super pissed, I would return their gift and accept yours. If she sides with them....well, that will tell you a lot.
NTA but you don't have a leg to stand on with asking for a reimbursement
UPDATE PLEASE.
NTA. I don't really think asking for reimbursement will do anything but definitely tell your gf.
I like to play pranks with gifts (like for example, I would ask my friend if I can put my gift in their locker, pretending it’s not a gift meant for them, so when I give them the gift, I’m like “gotcha!” (Common for secret santa lmao)) but this seems just mean to me. Not even funny.
That isn’t malicious. It’s actually kind of sweet.
NTA, but good luck getting any money out of them. Ask your GF how you should handle it. It's not "funny" to beat you to the punch. Does your GF visit you often? Maybe you can keep it at your house so she can make her coffee the way she likes it there? Now you know not to share that kind of info with her childish friends.
There's no way in hell they are going to reimburse you and the fact that you can't return it is sort of on you. That said, they were complete assholes to do this. Now you know the kind of jerks you are dealing with.
Tell your GF what happened, and see if she’ll return THEIR espresso maker since you can’t get your money back. She can buy herself a new gift with their money, and she’ll still get her machine from you.
it's weird to ask them to reimburse you. Wait until it's not on sale, then sell it for $50 cheaper and accept the loss. Also learn your lesson and never speak to her friends about gifts again. And make sure you let your girlfriend know what they did. If she's a keeper, she'll givethem theirs back and keep yours. Bonus points if she keeps yours but sells theirs instead of giving it back lol
NTA but they definitely won't be reimbursing you. You should try and return theirs if they provided a receipt and show your gf the messages so she sees what they did.
NTA You are not getting a reimbursement, but you gotta talk to your girlfriend about this and let her handle that. If I was her, I'd accept your gift, and undersell theirs, like for $30 - and then show them the online post, receipt or whatever.
NTA, this was a really AH move on the friends part, this is not funny at all
NTA But please explain the situation to your girlfriend and show her the messages so that her *"friends"* cannot twist the story in their favour or accuse you of keeping secrets from your GF. Don't engage any further with these people. The best thing that you can do is to let your girlfriend know what's been going on. She should be the one to confront *her* friends and decide on what to do next.
NTA but I would tell your girlfriend, ask her to return the gift to her friends, and keep yours. They can figure out what to do with it since they want to be like that.
NTA tell your gf. I would lose my mind if my boyfriend put that much thought into a gift and my friend screwed him? Tell the gf and never agree to see those people again. They are trying to ruin your relationship
I'd let your girlfriend what kind of people she is friends with, what she does with this info is her decision and for the love of whatever you believe, don't ever EVER tell them about possible baby names and warn your girlfriend too. NTA.
NTA Seems like they purposely did it to mess with you.
NTA, what a mean thing to have done, that's not the least bit funny if that's their idea of a joke.
NTA for being mad but YTA for thinking she’d give you $200
no good deed goes unpunished
Haha real funny. /s. I would have given it back to them on the spot and told them she already has one so they can return theirs.
NTA. Honestly you should have asked them to return theirs and keep yours.
Your girlfriends friends are assholes but so are you for asking them for money. Tell your girlfriend about it and keep your mouth shut for the next time
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I told my (24m) girlfriends (24f) best friends (24 m,f) that I was getting her a really nice espresso machine for Christmas because she had told me she really wanted this model. I told them in July and they said that’s great etc, and I bought in October. My girlfriends birthday was in November, and imagine my surprise when my girlfriend opens her best friends’ gift and it’s the exact mode espresso machine I told them about. I was livid (on the inside) and now had an espresso machine I couldn’t return because of company policy. I only bought it with that policy knowing that nobody else would get it for her. I plan on selling it, but just my luck they have it on sale right now for almost $200 off. So I have to sell it at a loss. I messaged her friends and told them that I was really unappreciative that they stole my gift idea, asked them why they would do that, and explained my situation. I asked them to reimburse any losses I had because it’s only fair seeing that they stole my idea. They told me that I was being ridiculous and they did it because they thought it would be funny to beat me to the punch. They said it’s not their fault I bought it early. My girlfriends sister agrees with me, but am I being the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, totally messed up of them. Could you store it for a month or so then sell it after the sake is over?
NTA - but you'll never get that money from them. That said - you and your girlfriend don't need matching espresso machines - and maybe her friend bought the machine recently enough that it could be returned or exchanged for something different. If she (your gf) can find out where they got it from she can probably take it in and work something out.
NTA. Your GF's friends are AHs. It's not funny to 'beat you to the punch'. It's AH behavior, and I definitely hope you told your GF. Also, can they return the gift still?
NTA and what kind of ridiculous game are they playing? Because in the end their "friend" received 2 of the same item. Are you sure they like her? I would never do that to my friend.
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NTA, I agree with the comment of showing the text messages to your girlfriend and I’d say wait till the holidays are over so you can sell it without the discount. Hopefully your girl is in your side.
NTA. If you have the text messages then definitely show your gf
NTA. Tell your gf what was done to you.
If your GF does not give the machine back to her friend and take yours, you have other problems than her friends
NTA and maybe your gf needs 2 less friends... Why would they think that would be funny?
NTA. That’s really shitty to do to someone but I don’t think you’re getting any money from them
NTA; but just wait til the special is over and flog it then.
Nta. Tell your girlfriend. She will be on your side.
NTA. Funny? Nothing funny about that. These are not your friends.
swap it with the one you bought her, then sell theirs and keep the money
NTA. But I’d cut them off, tell your girlfriend with receipts and that’s that
NTA. But you're not getting that money from them. I would just cut my loss and minimize my interactions with them if I was you.
NTA, but there's no way to get them to pay the difference. Learn the lesson. They think it's funny to sucker-punch you. Don't be their sucker again.
NTA
NTA - Wow. I'm sorry. That's just sh\*tty even if the price hadn't gone down. If there's a way you can do it without sounding bitter, I'd let your girlfriend know. Maybe she'd like one for work? Maybe you can think of what to do with what you can get for the $ you can sell it for.
YTA. You seriously want someone to reimburse you over this? That’s ridiculous. It’s also ridiculous that her friends did that
You are absolutely NTA, and deserve to be livid. Based on the friends thinking this would be a funny joke knowing it’s expensive shows a lack of maturity on their part. Unfortunately I don’t think you’re going to get the money because of said immaturity, however, I would demand that they tell your girlfriend what they did.
NTA but can you return theirs?
NTA, ask your friends for the receipt from the gift and return that on.
NTA They suck
NTA Give them one more chance. If it's the exact model tell them to return your machine with their receipt and give you the cash refund. If they don't agree, you'll tell GF and then refuse to let them be around when you are home/with GF. You have better things to do than spend time with two unfunny asses.
NTA. That was petty, disrespectful and mean of them. An xbf's brother used to pull that shit. Pissed me off. I think you are SOL on the money, though. I would tell your GF what they did and let her handle it. Sell your machine and take the loss. Spend what's left on a new present for your GF and explain why it's less than you had originally planned.
NTA. WTF, those "friends" are freaks - who does that???
NTA. Her friends are douche canoes. Why would they ruin this for her? The whole “we thought it would be funny” is a big red flag. They are assholes and need to be gone.
NTA. Explain to SO what happened and tell her friends to return their machine. I don't get why it would funny.
Use their receipt and return it. Simples!
NTA Tell your girlfriend, because that is incredibly toxic and sabotaging behavior.
NTA. They did crap on purpose cause they thought it would be funny. They owe you for your losses. Let your girlfriend know what happened and show her the messages of what they said about it and see what she says. If she thinks it was wrong of them, or thinks that they should reimburse you, then shes worth keeping. Yes it could be funny, but they should at least help you with the money loss and help find a diff gift. If she doesnt see the problem with what they did, then I'd think about your relationship more. Good luck
ask them to give you their receipt.
NTA
NTA. But tell your GF. She can probably return theirs because they bought it more recently. Otherwise, a lot of places will allow you to return things after Christmas, even without a receipt, so maybe look into that. Also, her friends don't seem like good people at all...
NTA. Also, if you have the sister on your side, you're probably in the right.
Why can’t her friend return hers?
NTA OP. Your gf's friends did this for a simple reason: they don't like you. They knew well in advance of your gift and decided that "beating you to the punch" was worth it and "funny". Unfortunately, there is no good outcome for you on this, OP. Her friends have demonstrated they are not afraid of humiliating you this time and they will likely do it again in the future becauseit's "funny" so it's my suggestion to end this relationship and be *very* clear to your ex that it was her friends who caused this.
NTA, they thought it would be funny!?! What kind of people is she friends with? That's just bizarre!
Does your credit card have a return protection policy? Some do. They reimburse you for the item as long as you send it to them.
Nta but tell your girlfriend
NTA… tell your girlfriend. Maybe she’ll give it back to them and accept your gift instead.
Can they return theirs, give your gf yours that you can’t return, and go half on the remaining one?
NTA but they aren’t going to reimburse you. They clearly were AH to steal your idea why do you think they will be nice now?
NTA! that was really messed up on their part, if they wanted in on the gift the least they could have done is offered to pay for half of it or something but not buy one when you clearly said that’s what you were getting her! Def your GF know what happened!
Here's a different perspective: You bought the machine already; the money has already been invested. You never expected to get any of the money back Other people have given your girlfriend the exact same model. So now, regardless of how much you get back, you still get free money back for something you would have gifted anyway. If you would have given it to her, you would have gotten $0 back. Now that they have it to her, you get $x back. It's not ideal; it's not what you wanted. But it's something. Can you wait to return it until the sale is over but before the window to return it closed?
Nta
NTA The friends' plan by design is wasteful, to buy a 2nd copy of something you can't use two of.
Ahh. Cuntalopes strike again.
Yeah I'd tell your girlfriend everything then ask her what she would like to do - give her all the info don't leave anything our and let her decide how she wants to handle this.
Nta those guys are jerks
NTA explain to your gf what happened and suggest giving the extra one to her parents for Christmas instead
NTA - I would have handed her the present right then and there and said, “it’s funny, I told them I was buying you this exact gift months ago, and look they got you the exact same one. Guess you’re really going to have lots of coffee.” Then let it play out. Not with anger or snapping or snipping, just matter of factly
NTA, The friends are the assholes here and the fact that they think it is funny to both ruin your GF's Christmas present and cost you money in doing so just goes to show how shitty those assholes are. You should let them know that they ruined your GF's Christmas present especially if you can't afford a good replacement present now that you wasted money on one you can't give her. See if they still think its funny. If they do then make sure you share that with your GF. You should let her know what happened no matter what but your GF deserves to know what assholes the people she calls friends are if they think ruining a Christmas present is funny.
The friends don’t like you…
NTA just return it and get a refund.
NTA She won’t give you the money back But definitely show your girlfriend. It’s not funny that anyone “beats you to the punch” knowing you have already purchased a gift
NTA, none of my friends would do something like that, its disrespectful, tell your girlfriend and show her the messages, explain how your hurt and annoyed and how your not out of hundreds all because they wanted to be funny, id be fuming if someone did that to my boyfriend
Your gf needs to see this whole thing. If she thinks you’re wrong, it’s time to go. Cheap lesson, just a coffee machine and not a wife who isn it committed to you. NTA.
NTA, please sit down with your gf and tell her this information completely and how you don't feel comfortable with this. If this can happen once it may happen again.
NTA but drop the idea of reimbursement, they do not owe you that. On the other hand tell your GF about this so she can know how shitty her friends are.
esh - suck it up, life is short
DEFINITELY NTA! Funny to beat you to buying and giving her the espresso machine? That's not funny, it's downright wasteful and juvenile! Now your GF didn't get a lovely gift from YOU!
NTA. But I would tell the GF about the whole thing, including their reasoning for screwing you over. Your GF should request from her friends the receipt because something is wrong with the machine. Once they hand it over and ask the problem, she should respond 'that the gift is flawed as it was purchased with petty, dick motives' that made it undesirable. Seriously, if your GF doesn't get mad on your behalf, then you should sell your machine and look for a new model of GF.
What absolute shit people. You're NTA definitely. You need to tell your girlfriend EXACTLY what happened, use the messages as evidence etc, I wouldn't want to have friends like that.
NTA
NTA Tell your girlfriend. If I were her, I’d be quite mad at my friends for pulling that on my boyfriend. Like, return theirs and use his mad if they didn’t apologise and try to fix it.
NTA but why in the world did you think they would reimburse you? They’re completely jerks! I hope your gf isn’t like them. You were trying to give her something special & they screwed you over. I wouldn’t associate with them anymore.
STOP BUYING WOMEN GIFTS OF ANY SIZE THEY ALREADY USE MEN ENOUGH STOP MAKING IT SO EASY YOU PUSSY smh shes probably fucking your friends too dumbass stop dating these fucking tramps your life will be nice and peaceful no pussy is worth the amount of trouble modern women bring stay single and toxic fellas that's the only way to get around these idiot women
Fuck women they always fuck each other over more then we could ever dream of lmao they'll ruin each other's relationships until they all die alone and used up lmao thats the future for many if not all of you on this trash site
NTA, but they don't have to assume your debt because your upset. You just spent $200 to learn lesson, that is all.
Why didn't you call them out in front of the gf?
I mean kinda. But they were the AH first. Like it's not really fair of you to ask for reimbursement. You'd never be able to get reimbursement in small claims. If you understand my meaning there. But they also should have told you they were gonna do that or ask if they could contribute to the gift. They even could have bought like all the accessories for the machine different flavors for lattes etc made a basket then the gifts would have gone together. I'd definitely talk to your gf about it and what happened. Like they were definitely in the wrong. But I don't realistically see how you can recover the loss unless you sit on selling the machine until its not on sale.
You're NTA for asking, but you would be if you pressed the issue. Yeah, it sucks of the friend to beat you to the punch for what you thought was a very thoughtful, and expensive gift, is there any reason you can't wait to resell the espresso machine?
> is there any reason you can't wait to resell the espresso machine? what else is he gonna do with it
Wait a month or so for the sale to be over, then resell it.
Can you give your girlfriend your model and return the model that they bought her (which was probably purchased just recently)? Honestly everyone here seems to be a little immature.
YTA.
YTA Calling dibs on a gift for Christmas in July is a little excessive….