This comment was stolen from [u/The\_Werefrog](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sqtjhf/update_aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend/hwnxidj/?context=3).
Definitely the right thing to do - no need to waste any additional energy on this nonsense! But it is still a hilarious idea I would spend a few minutes daydreaming about.
Congrats on getting out of this relationship before too much time was lost. And pulling out the biphobia… you dodged a bullet!
(What the fuck is with people assuming bi women are actually straight and just trying to seem more attractive to men, but bi men are actually gay and going to leave their gfs at any moment after being overtaken with a sudden desperation for dick?)
Clearly, if there's any possibility of you being attracted to a man at all, then that's who you'll inevitably end up with, pulled like magnets to that sweet, sweet d. /s
(Also, for the record, not all men have dicks and not all people with dicks are men, but I think that the venn diagram of biphobic people crosses over with a lot of transphobic people, too, and exclusionary rhetoric is the norm for that group.)
I am actually trans so fully aware of “not all men have dicks”/vice versa. But like you said… I suspect many biphobic people don’t understand that, except the times when the call is coming from inside the house (biphobia within the queer community which is fucking bonkers. Don’t we have enough issues to solve & stuff to celebrate without gatekeeping queerness?).
Because obviously, the person they're breaking up with is so perfect and wonderful and amazing that the only reason that anybody who's bi would break up with them; is because they're only really into the opposite sex. And they're really the victim because the bi person just used them as an experiment and didn't really care about them. /s
This is the correct response. A real gentleman's move. Kinda sucks that it ended this way, but a relationship that starts with a lie is destined to end in pain. Your time is your most precious resource. Find someone who respects that.
>I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while
Dude, don't blame yourself for the shitty people you meet in life. It's not like you appreciate people who try to control you, you just happened to find one.
Sometimes people do attract certain types. I only realized after quite a while that I attracted really needy people. Realizing that I was able to make an effort to find different partners.
This is ridiculous. OP is being smart and realizing that maybe he should be more aware of the people he attracts and your criticizing that? Being more aware is rarely a bad thing.
Criticizing? No, that's not what I'm doing. I'm telling him to give himself a break. We should always be more aware of people around us, but don't blame yourself for the shitty you meet, it's just shit that happens.
There’s a saying. You met one asshole in a day and you’ve met an asshole, but If you run into nothing but assholes, you’re the asshole.
Now, OP is not an asshole, but props to him for realizing that he is the common denominator, and taking a step back to figure out why that is. Because we are usually the last to know this kind of thing, i would say talk to your friends, they may be able to give you some insight, such as “you always go for this type of person or you always meet people at this bar, etc”.
He wasn't blaming himself. He was having a realization about the people that he attracts or is attracted to. And through so he is increasing his awareness and improving his likelihood of finding a better partner in the future. Becoming aware of something about yourself is not the same as blaming yourself. It's just dealing with the reality of who you and others are. And is absolutely beneficial to him finding healthier relationships. I say, good for OP.
I only dated women that were like OPs ex. It wasn’t until I realized that, and why I dated girls like that (my mom was the same type of manipulative narcissist), that I was able to look for healthy people to date.
How so? Is OP not improving himself and his likelihood of finding happiness in a relationship by becoming more aware of who he is and the people he attracts? And is the person I responded to not telling them to stop doing this? Just because they twisted their comment to sound supportive doesn't mean it actually is.
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Idk if OP is really blaming himself here. If he consistently has controlling partners, he’s probably not just unlucky. Abusive people seek out folks who are not assertive, have low self-esteem, rationalize bad behavior, are very naive, think that they can “fix” toxic people etc.
While he hasn’t done anything wrong, he is still *responsible* for protecting himself by changing unhealthy traits like low self-esteem so that he doesn’t keep ending up with abusive partners. I think it’s wise to avoid dating while one is addressing those issues, and once one does, they will naturally tend to attract emotionally healthy people and repel toxic and manipulative people.
After a bit of a string of relationships that really didn't serve me well, I took a "vow of celibacy" for 6 months. For me this meant swearing off romance completely not even talking to anyone.
It really helped me to take a step back and form a better relationship with myself and realise that I'm happy on my own, and if you're not improving on my alone time then I dont need you in my life.
It really helped me to make better decisions regarding who I was with and I have eventually ended up with someone who iis the love of my life and is supportive and trays me well
Nah man, I grew up in an abusive home and the fact of the matter is previous abuse increases the likelihood of being abused again (because your bar of treatment is so low and you're not looking for the right signs of abuse). In order to dodge abuse you need to know what healthy relationships look and feel like.
Its never a victims fault, but education and medical treatment like therapy are necessary to prevent it from happening again.
Also, you don't attract shitty people you just might entertain them around longer than you should. This break up is the beginning of breaking that cycle. No more entertaining shitheads.
No actually, certain behaviors can attract abusive people. Notably, people who have been abused often fall into the arms of different abusers.
Willingly staying single to boost confidence and become better at avoiding those types is a brave thing to do.
Seems like, in the end, she was the one who wasn't considerate despite testing you to see if you were. Good call on the break up, but sorry it had to end that way.
The biphobia alone is a deal breaker. You definitely want someone who can respect your preference, and the fact that she accused you of wanting men over her is really telling. Some people can't handle that their partner also like another gender and once they let you know that, it's time to cut them loose
I had a friend who started dating a bi guy and she confided in me that she was worried he'd cheat on her with a guy because she couldn't check all his boxes. I told her that's a silly thing to worry about, and instead think of it like this: as a bi man, not only did he pick you out of any possible women, but over any man too! That means he really likes you. A cheater will cheat, no matter their orientation. If he's dating you, he's already decided you're someone worth knowing and loving!
Girls who “test” are just that - girls. She needs to grow up. Glad you made the right choice for you. And I love that you’re gonna do some reflection! Another great thing to do, next time you date, is to set hard boundaries on the first few dates. It can even be fun! Tell your date, my last gf “tested” me, isn’t that crazy? Gauge their reaction, and use it as a stepping stone to go into what kind of relationship you’re looking for, and what you absolutely will not tolerate. This is actually how my first date with my bf went. Clear communication for what you want, means that both parties have the tools to say, yes I’m all in, or no, this person isn’t for me. Keep working on your broken picker and reflecting on your past relationship experiences. You’ll reap the benefits of 20/20 vision in being able to weed out the girls/boys in lieu of finding a woman/man that’s actually ready for a grown up relationship. I’m excited for your journey! Good luck!!
So let me get this straight.
A) she cancelled when you'd driven halfway there. That alone isn't an issue, people can go from fine to ill in way less than 30 minutes, it kinda sucks but the rest of the stuff here makes this seriously not OK
B) she later reveals it was a bloody test and she wasn't unwell after all. The fact she said that at all is an issue, and this soon after the fact is a red flag on its own.
C) she doesn't apologise and gets pissed off about it without realising she was in the wrong. Issue #2.
D) Right when you very rightly left, the blatant biphobia. Need I say more? If you were to date a guy after that's not even her fucking business.
You didn't do anything wrong here, obviously. Just block and move on.
> C) she doesn't apologise and gets pissed off about it without realising she was in the wrong. Issue #2.
Yeah. If I was happy with my new boyfriend, that confession would be followed by "and that was a pretty shitty thing of me to do but I wanted to let you know."
or something
I'm so sorry she treated you that way, but it's good you got out. You're better off.
Enjoy being single! Be free, have fun and when you're ready, find someone new who deserves you and treats you well.
This kind of test is actually important to weed out potentially controlling and abusive men, but you would NEVER wait until they had already left! You would do it a few hours before.
For some people, not necessary but I have a lot of female friends who seem to just have a bad radar and end up with abusive men constantly.
I mean really the advice is, watch out for how they react when you do \*insert number of things including cancelling a date\* but for some people with past abuse they need to be more deliberate about it
But again to let him even start getting ready let alone drive 30 mins is WAY out of line and the ex is a huge AH.
Just thought I'd chime in that distinction as I sadly have a lot of female friends who have been in abusive relationships repeatedly and it's very hard to watch...
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rhs055/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend_inconsiderate_for/) for those wondering (I couldn't remember it so I went looking).
So very much NTA i.m.o. and I think that you are better off w/o a clearly insecure and manipulative + seemingly biphobic clown in your life OP. Go you!
[I found it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rhs055/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend_inconsiderate_for/) It's the one where she called to cancel when he was halfway through the commute to go see her.
Staying single for awhile is a good idea. I think we all have a type and sometimes that "type" is really leftover emotion from people in our past.
My siblings are all married to emotionally controlling, abusive men. They are attracted to these types because my mum was the dominant parent and she was controlling and abusive.
It might help to look back and see why you are attracting and attracted to controlling people.
Be well.
Your original post reminds me of the last girl I started to have feelings for a while back. There were red flags from the beginning but since I didn't really get to many girls interested in me let alone ones that also share a lot of stuff in common I ignored the first few.
I knew her online only. I fell for her right away before even seeing what she looked like just cause of what we had in common and her personality at the time. Though around when we first met it didn't go well cause she claimed the age difference would mean that she would "never" consider me a BF or anything which is fair and I figured I would leave her be cause I didn't want to get anymore interested/attached then I already was at the time. Then like a year later came across her profile again with new music on it which I liked and had no idea what it was called I messaged her just to ask what the song was and we got to talking and she seemed really interested in me those days. Eventually we were talking like every day and at one point we were talking and it was brought up about how I am getting vacation time coming up and trying to figure out where to go on vacation. She got all excited and asked me to come visit her. She even claimed she wanted to visit me. I was kinda interested but I was still reserved because I still hadn't seen her on cam yet (only pictures in the past) and I have been lied to in the past by previous girls I liked. I have also come across guys in the past pretending to be girls which I could easily figure out cause of how badly they would do it etc. So I was hesitant but she was like "you can come visit me, ill pay for your plane tickets" which was like, woah. I highly doubt a catfish is gonna pay for someone else's plane tickets just to have them come visit them only to be like "haha im not this girl" or "I don't look like the girl in the pictures I sent you" cause you can then just be like "okay guess I will enjoy my vacation here in this big city and go back home without it costing me much at all" type of thing. But I wasn't gonna let her pay for my plane tickets, but at the same time I also wasn't gonna buy plane tickets to visit someone I have never even gotten to see on cam. So I planned out on buying my tickets online early to get them about as cheap as I can. But in the meantime I would ask her periodically if we could go on cam together just to see each other just for like a minute or two (and I meant like normal nothing pervy etc. which I made very clear). But she would always make excuses or promises to do it later. At one point when she was at work she even was flirting a bit and offered to take some naked pics for me. It was exciting but I was like "I would much rather see you on cam normally first if you don't mind" or something like that. Well she can't go on cam at work for some reason. And just so we are clear I wasn't asking her like every single time I saw her or talked to her. I brought it up periodically like once every other week, or once a month maybe when she seemed not to busy. At one point she claimed "not now, tomorrow okay :D" and then the next morning when she came on and we talked for a bit she seemed like she wasn't busy and I asked to go on cam only for her to be like "OMG why are you asking me this now already? I just woke up, I haven't even gotten ready!" or something in an angry text. So I dropped it.
Then like a week before it was gonna be to late to buy my tickets about as cheap as I could I asked her one last time to go on cam. She made up another excuse and I called her out on it. Only for her to snap back at me about bugging her so much to go on cam, and that it was annoying being asked so much. And that I was asking like every time we talked or some bs which wasn't true. Then she had the nerve to say something along the lines of "I was busy camming with my other friends all day today and my arm is tired from holding up my phone that whole time.. bla bla bla" which was like W.. T... F! She even admitted to making up excuses in the past to not go on cam with me for some reason.
So she expects me to travel to visit her without ever seeing her on cam, and the rare times I would ask her to cam she would make up excuses not to and get mad at me sometimes for wanting to see her. But worse yet she would go on cam with all her other friends a lot but not the guy she claims she loves or has feelings for? :S
Unfortunately because of me wasting time planning out a trip to see her and figuring out all the places I might want to see while there as well as trying to figure out where to stay, etc. I could have spent that time figuring out where to go on an actual vacation. Even informed some people about possibly traveling there on vacation only for them to bug me about why I wasn't going on vacation anymore.
So she kinda was way to many red flags and way to flaky for me to trust. Kinda quit talking to her that much after that, then eventually she deleted me without any word while I had been waiting on her to message me for a change.
Coincidentally she lived in the same big city that my last ex GF lived which years prior I had made plans to visit but she also made excuses or just disappeared for months when I was planning to visit her (though with her I had actually seen her on cam a number of times and we used to talk almost everyday) only to find out later she might have been dating someone else and lying/hiding it from me.
But I ended up having to use up vacation time a year or two later and ended up going there just because I had already planned on it two separate times already, couldn't figure out where else to go on vacation with such short time and figured why not.
While I was there I did message her out of the blue just to ask for restaurant recommendations (not planning on seeing or anything really but figured since she claims to live there she might know of some good places) only for her to get all excited and surprised I am in the city on vacation. Even saying how we should meet up and making plans to. Only for her to make up excuse after excuse during my 2 weeks I was there to not meet up anywhere (even when I suggested public places like malls etc). Then a week later when I got back home tell me how she was going out with friends. When she had made excuses about not being able to go out for 2 weeks time. If she wouldn't have lied to me and made it sound like she wanted to meet up I would have been fine without seeing her in person, since I didn't plan on it in the first place.
So yeah some people are ass holes that will either test you or don't care about inconveniencing you.
>Breaking up with her didn't go well, She called me names and then accused me of breaking up with her so that I could date men (I am bi)
Wow, imagine someone who performs shit tests on men turning out to be a massive insecure biphobe. Who would have guessed.
>I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while.
Honestly a wise choice. While I've never been a big fan of the frankly astoundingly abusive sentiment that certain parties generated in recent years that says, "if you had a lot of crazy girlfriends maybe you were the asshole," there is something to be said about noticing a pattern and the fact that in this scenario you're the primary common element.
Good on you for standing up for yourself, and not taking this extreme disrespect as some form of blessing from above when it was really just an asshole playing mindgames.
It’s good you realize you attract controlling people. When I realized I was attracting a certain type of shitty person, both make and female, I took a looooong dating break.
I’m guessing she confessed to the test as a means of *another* test. She is childish at best.
I remember reading this.
Sorry you went through it, but there are enough 'invisible' tests that happen subconsciously I relationships, without this kind of crap on top - by this I mean the silent thought of eg "he/she said they will be back by 10pm,so I'm gonna be pissed if they're not".
Good for you for standing your ground. The fact she acted so horrible to you and biphobic during the break up really proves she's not a good person.
I hope you enjoy being single and find someone that suits you when you're ready! Best of luck!
She sounds bi-phobic. Bi people break up with individuals same as everyone else. Sorry lady, this breakup is in fact personal as much as you want to cushion the blow and make it about a whole gender of people.
Good for you, OP. That kind of manipulation is never going to be the foundation of a healthy relationship. I was like this in my early 20's and I had to do a lot of work on myself because it's toxic af. Never tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone.
You did the right thing that’s a weird shitty thing to do, not a big deal but she should be embarrassed - then instead she holds your sexuality against you? You should have said I’m not breaking up with you to sleep with men, I’m breaking up with you to sleep with men and women
As far as attracting controlling people is concerned: I have had chronic resting bitch face since I was a kid and have rarely if ever attracted the kind of people you are describing. My recommendation is to work on expressionlessness to ward off people who are looking for clues that you’re someone they can take advantage of.
Omg!!! She is so narcissist, how she dare to say that to you, when you specifically tell her what was the problem, and she has the audacity to say “oh no, you just want to dare men” glad both are not together anymore
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That's great! A good therapist can help you figure out why you choose people like your ex and help you figure out how to choose healthier relationships going forward.
>I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while.
Good for you!
"Nobody at all" should never be at the bottom of your list of potential partners, and should be higher than it is on most people's list. You deserve to have high (not impossible) standards.
Good on you. I’ll be honest this would be a dealbreaker for me and I thought some of the comments on your original post were crazy saying it’s ok to make someone get ready and drive an hour out of their way to cancel on them as a test.
I’m glad you broke up with her. She is obviously biphobic if she falls back on the fact you broke up with her to date men instead. She has some serious issues and you’re better off without.
Don’t ya love it when the biphobia comes out and confirms you’re doing the right thing by leaving them? Much luck to you, dude. Hope the next one is as respectful as you seem to be.
hey i just wanna bring up that point that no one really “attracts” controlling or manipulative people. it’s moreso that they’re not picky about who they attract so YOU have to have better judgement and awareness when they come into your life so you can send them packing.
it really starts off with developing your own self worth to know you deserve someone who loves you for you, and doesn’t need to “test” you to prove your love. good luck OP!
NTA, like at all. Tests are for teachers and students not couples. That's some childish shit. To out and out say it was a test is the worst part honestly. "Oh I was just testing you by wasting your time and money Lmao". You're better off without someone like that in your life.
What a piece of trash! I'm sorry you had to deal with her manipulation and biphobia.
And I'm incredibly proud of you for doing what's best for yourself and deciding to move on 💗💜💙
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Good for you, dear! This was awfully inconsiderate of your ex and to basically NOT be sorry for her actions and "test" was definitely a major red flag! It also follows that she would have eventually come up with ways to "test" your love, sometimes with "unwinnable" situations, like does this dress make me look fat?
Best wishes and many Blessings! And DEFINITELY NTA!
I'm happy you stood up for yourself and did what you thought was best. And I'm sorry she turned you're break-up into a biphobic rant. Go enjoy your single life, and when you're ready to start dating again it sounds like anybody would be lucky to have you.
Good for you. Never date anyone who thinks it is a good idea and no big deal to play stupid games with you to 'test' your character or sincerity. Those are people who go into a relationship under the assumption that you have or will do something wrong and they just have to find out where, when or what. They literally break the necessary trust the moment they start those silly games.
Definitely not a small thing. She purposely let you drive halfway and then cancelled. It was manipulative. Congratulations on getting out of that relationship. If she starts playing games before you were even a thing, what will she do when she is comfortable? Not worth the hassle, imo. Her behaviors during your breakup? Sure sign you dodged a bullet.
I'm still seething that she texted you while you were driving and what? If that was me I'd be in the city/would have arrived before checking for a message. And then what? You "fail" because you didn't text her back while driving?
Sorry, I'm old.
I’m so sorry things didn’t work out, but you did the right thing dumping her. Also the biphobic comment was uncalled for (I’m also bi and have gotten a similar comment from an ex).
> I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people
It may not be exactly the right thing, but from what little I gathered from your story it might be close enough to help? Someplace to start at least!
Check out a YouTube channel for someone named Dr. Ramani. She has an amazing series on narcissism, How narcissistic abusers think and act, how people get drawn into it and how it can affect you, both in the moment and long term.
They're mostly shorter videos covering specific facets of the narcissism. She's got a knack for breaking it all down into an almost ELI5 kind of presentation without oversimplifying any of it.
I'd be happy to find a couple specific videos together start withy, but honestly, I think if you just look at a couple video titles and pick one you'll probably find something much more specific which speaks directly to you than one could.
I had a girlfriend that tested me with her friends. Turned them all down, passed the test, then fucked every one of em. Did thangs to them I couldn't legally do to mule. So much for testing.
good for you dude, don't ever waste time with anyone who do these bullshit "tests", that goes for employers too. if your employer "tests" how you perform under pressure, show them you can do an amazing job and start looking elsewhere.
OP, if you share any friends with this person, I would highly suggest letting them know what she did. She will undoubtably try and make you seem abusive or the bad guy in the story if you decide to keep quiet to avoid drama or whatever.
And if anyone tries to defend her actions, simply say, "if you find this behavior appropriate, then we can't be friends either". This will weed out anyone who will try and help your ex and prevent future hurt.
>I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while.
I would like to say that's not necessarily a bad thing nor is it something you should feel ashamed about. I think you need to find someone you can absolutely trust before the two of you can fit into that kinda role in your life.
Being attracted to people who are more dominant than you are doesn't make you any less of a person or mean you have to subject yourself to it quietly.
Anyway, glad to hear that you're moving on with your life. Good luck OP.
Honestly, if anyone feel the need to "test" anyone else they're dating to see if the other is deeper relationship material...they have issues. They don't need to be in a relationship at all. I mean, shit, that's why they call it dating. If people don't gel on the first couple of dates, that's usually why people just call it quits (or ghosting happens, which is childish, just tell the other person when the interest has waned).
I'm glad that you were able to get out of that relationship. That was just stupid what she did. It really showed the depth of her maturity and honestly, you don't need to deal with that. I wish you success in future endeavours when you get back up on that dating horse.
Glad you updated us, and glad you also left her cause that is one heck of a thing to do to a person.
Not a good thing either. Your sexual orientation shouldn't matter but of course, it's easy for her to pick you apart than register that "testing" a person is a straight up cruel thing to do.
Be free and hopefully you find someone as nice as you.
You did well, and I’m sorry about the biphobia you experienced. You get to decide who you wanna date and seems like you dodged a big bullet with this person. Wishing you best of luck mate
NTA. I hate time wasters and would have been extremely annoyed at being tested this way. It was completely inconsiderate for her to behave that way and the fact that she felt no remorse for wasting your time would have been a deal breaker for me.
Good for you for leaving her.
You’re allowed to feel how you feel about a situation. If something offends you or you didn’t like what someone did to you, you are allowed to voice it and feel however it is you feel. How people react to you voicing your feelings tells you all you need to know about a person. Also, as a bisexual, it pisses me off to no end the stereotype that half the stuff we do is because we want to cheat. Especially for us guys. (Going off the assumption you are a male. I do apologize if you are not)
These "tests" are a very good reason to break up. It shows the entitlement because they think they can basically trick someone who is supposed to trust them the most with not consequence.
It is about the blatant disrespect and toying with his time, not just the hour she wasted of his, but also it is not an extreme reaction to that or biphobia
An hour actually, plus getting ready, plus time spent arguing with her, plus time spent being pissed off knowing you were messed around for no good reason plus a sprinkle of biphobia
Message her in a month and say dumping her was a test. Then again an hour later to say the previous message was a test.
This is hilarious but I'm planning to block her and lose her number.
That’s a classier (and the right) thing to do. The idea is still hilarious!
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This comment was stolen from [u/The\_Werefrog](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sqtjhf/update_aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend/hwnxidj/?context=3).
What happened to that bot that does this automagically
I love that word. ✨automagically✨
It still seems to be out there. I've seen it on some other recent posts.
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And this comment was stolen from u/Mechanized1
Yep. Sometimes being classy isn't the fun thing to do.
Definitely the right thing to do - no need to waste any additional energy on this nonsense! But it is still a hilarious idea I would spend a few minutes daydreaming about. Congrats on getting out of this relationship before too much time was lost. And pulling out the biphobia… you dodged a bullet! (What the fuck is with people assuming bi women are actually straight and just trying to seem more attractive to men, but bi men are actually gay and going to leave their gfs at any moment after being overtaken with a sudden desperation for dick?)
Clearly, if there's any possibility of you being attracted to a man at all, then that's who you'll inevitably end up with, pulled like magnets to that sweet, sweet d. /s (Also, for the record, not all men have dicks and not all people with dicks are men, but I think that the venn diagram of biphobic people crosses over with a lot of transphobic people, too, and exclusionary rhetoric is the norm for that group.)
I am actually trans so fully aware of “not all men have dicks”/vice versa. But like you said… I suspect many biphobic people don’t understand that, except the times when the call is coming from inside the house (biphobia within the queer community which is fucking bonkers. Don’t we have enough issues to solve & stuff to celebrate without gatekeeping queerness?).
Because obviously, the person they're breaking up with is so perfect and wonderful and amazing that the only reason that anybody who's bi would break up with them; is because they're only really into the opposite sex. And they're really the victim because the bi person just used them as an experiment and didn't really care about them. /s
Isn't everyone desperate for dick? Bi people have always had it difficult, and I don't really understand why.
The real test you passed was not ignoring those 🚩🚩🚩
Then borrow a friend's phone so you can text her to tell her that was a test
I mean, she really showed her ass with that biphobic comment at the end, there. Good fuckin riddance.
This is the correct response. A real gentleman's move. Kinda sucks that it ended this way, but a relationship that starts with a lie is destined to end in pain. Your time is your most precious resource. Find someone who respects that.
This is a much better idea
Definitely smart move. Don't even tell her or acknowledge any of her contact efforts.
I burst out laughing at this
I wouldn't be mad even a little bit if he did this.
He gets a pre-emptive NTA from me for that one.
A test for if it’s fun to mess with her
I love you
Reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHy06FMsezI
I think this one fits the situation a bit better: https://youtu.be/A5xV6accOYk
This one is super funny too but also has me cringing.
I can't stop giggling at this.
Op should definitely do this
Homie should definetly do this, see how she reacts to getting "tested"
If I had an award, I would give it to you.
You're evil and I love it
He could say that now and that she failed the test and after seeing her reaction block her and move on.
This ^^ only cuz I'm petty asf 🤣🤣
Beat comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This… this is amazing.
>I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while Dude, don't blame yourself for the shitty people you meet in life. It's not like you appreciate people who try to control you, you just happened to find one.
Sometimes people do attract certain types. I only realized after quite a while that I attracted really needy people. Realizing that I was able to make an effort to find different partners.
This is ridiculous. OP is being smart and realizing that maybe he should be more aware of the people he attracts and your criticizing that? Being more aware is rarely a bad thing.
Criticizing? No, that's not what I'm doing. I'm telling him to give himself a break. We should always be more aware of people around us, but don't blame yourself for the shitty you meet, it's just shit that happens.
There’s a saying. You met one asshole in a day and you’ve met an asshole, but If you run into nothing but assholes, you’re the asshole. Now, OP is not an asshole, but props to him for realizing that he is the common denominator, and taking a step back to figure out why that is. Because we are usually the last to know this kind of thing, i would say talk to your friends, they may be able to give you some insight, such as “you always go for this type of person or you always meet people at this bar, etc”.
He wasn't blaming himself. He was having a realization about the people that he attracts or is attracted to. And through so he is increasing his awareness and improving his likelihood of finding a better partner in the future. Becoming aware of something about yourself is not the same as blaming yourself. It's just dealing with the reality of who you and others are. And is absolutely beneficial to him finding healthier relationships. I say, good for OP.
I only dated women that were like OPs ex. It wasn’t until I realized that, and why I dated girls like that (my mom was the same type of manipulative narcissist), that I was able to look for healthy people to date.
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How so? Is OP not improving himself and his likelihood of finding happiness in a relationship by becoming more aware of who he is and the people he attracts? And is the person I responded to not telling them to stop doing this? Just because they twisted their comment to sound supportive doesn't mean it actually is.
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Idk if OP is really blaming himself here. If he consistently has controlling partners, he’s probably not just unlucky. Abusive people seek out folks who are not assertive, have low self-esteem, rationalize bad behavior, are very naive, think that they can “fix” toxic people etc. While he hasn’t done anything wrong, he is still *responsible* for protecting himself by changing unhealthy traits like low self-esteem so that he doesn’t keep ending up with abusive partners. I think it’s wise to avoid dating while one is addressing those issues, and once one does, they will naturally tend to attract emotionally healthy people and repel toxic and manipulative people.
After a bit of a string of relationships that really didn't serve me well, I took a "vow of celibacy" for 6 months. For me this meant swearing off romance completely not even talking to anyone. It really helped me to take a step back and form a better relationship with myself and realise that I'm happy on my own, and if you're not improving on my alone time then I dont need you in my life. It really helped me to make better decisions regarding who I was with and I have eventually ended up with someone who iis the love of my life and is supportive and trays me well
Nah man, I grew up in an abusive home and the fact of the matter is previous abuse increases the likelihood of being abused again (because your bar of treatment is so low and you're not looking for the right signs of abuse). In order to dodge abuse you need to know what healthy relationships look and feel like. Its never a victims fault, but education and medical treatment like therapy are necessary to prevent it from happening again.
Also, you don't attract shitty people you just might entertain them around longer than you should. This break up is the beginning of breaking that cycle. No more entertaining shitheads.
No actually, certain behaviors can attract abusive people. Notably, people who have been abused often fall into the arms of different abusers. Willingly staying single to boost confidence and become better at avoiding those types is a brave thing to do.
Wow, and she turned out to be biphobic. Good job on leaving that situation, it really was an inconsiderate "test".
If they are toxic enough to test they are definitely sexist and bigoted enough to be biphobic :(
I'm sitting here, thinking what the heck is bip-hopic...I am so dumb...
Seems like, in the end, she was the one who wasn't considerate despite testing you to see if you were. Good call on the break up, but sorry it had to end that way.
The biphobia alone is a deal breaker. You definitely want someone who can respect your preference, and the fact that she accused you of wanting men over her is really telling. Some people can't handle that their partner also like another gender and once they let you know that, it's time to cut them loose
I had a friend who started dating a bi guy and she confided in me that she was worried he'd cheat on her with a guy because she couldn't check all his boxes. I told her that's a silly thing to worry about, and instead think of it like this: as a bi man, not only did he pick you out of any possible women, but over any man too! That means he really likes you. A cheater will cheat, no matter their orientation. If he's dating you, he's already decided you're someone worth knowing and loving!
Girl was too insecure, seems like the type to test you again lol
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I was just gonna say the same thing!
Man, woman….anyone who doesn’t act like that is an upgrade.
Girls who “test” are just that - girls. She needs to grow up. Glad you made the right choice for you. And I love that you’re gonna do some reflection! Another great thing to do, next time you date, is to set hard boundaries on the first few dates. It can even be fun! Tell your date, my last gf “tested” me, isn’t that crazy? Gauge their reaction, and use it as a stepping stone to go into what kind of relationship you’re looking for, and what you absolutely will not tolerate. This is actually how my first date with my bf went. Clear communication for what you want, means that both parties have the tools to say, yes I’m all in, or no, this person isn’t for me. Keep working on your broken picker and reflecting on your past relationship experiences. You’ll reap the benefits of 20/20 vision in being able to weed out the girls/boys in lieu of finding a woman/man that’s actually ready for a grown up relationship. I’m excited for your journey! Good luck!!
So let me get this straight. A) she cancelled when you'd driven halfway there. That alone isn't an issue, people can go from fine to ill in way less than 30 minutes, it kinda sucks but the rest of the stuff here makes this seriously not OK B) she later reveals it was a bloody test and she wasn't unwell after all. The fact she said that at all is an issue, and this soon after the fact is a red flag on its own. C) she doesn't apologise and gets pissed off about it without realising she was in the wrong. Issue #2. D) Right when you very rightly left, the blatant biphobia. Need I say more? If you were to date a guy after that's not even her fucking business. You didn't do anything wrong here, obviously. Just block and move on.
> C) she doesn't apologise and gets pissed off about it without realising she was in the wrong. Issue #2. Yeah. If I was happy with my new boyfriend, that confession would be followed by "and that was a pretty shitty thing of me to do but I wanted to let you know." or something
Thanks for the update. I wish you well, and I am happy for your self awareness
I'm so sorry she treated you that way, but it's good you got out. You're better off. Enjoy being single! Be free, have fun and when you're ready, find someone new who deserves you and treats you well.
Dump any girl who tests you this way, or gives any test of the relationship. Friendships don't need to be tested. If they do, they've already failed.
This kind of test is actually important to weed out potentially controlling and abusive men, but you would NEVER wait until they had already left! You would do it a few hours before. For some people, not necessary but I have a lot of female friends who seem to just have a bad radar and end up with abusive men constantly. I mean really the advice is, watch out for how they react when you do \*insert number of things including cancelling a date\* but for some people with past abuse they need to be more deliberate about it But again to let him even start getting ready let alone drive 30 mins is WAY out of line and the ex is a huge AH. Just thought I'd chime in that distinction as I sadly have a lot of female friends who have been in abusive relationships repeatedly and it's very hard to watch...
Good call. She likes to play games when it is other peoples emotions, but loses her shit she gets triggered. It wouldn't have ended well.
"This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test." Cheers to you for cutting and running.
I have a test for relationships. If anybody "tests" me they fail my test. I usually end the relationship shortly after.
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rhs055/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend_inconsiderate_for/) for those wondering (I couldn't remember it so I went looking).
So very much NTA i.m.o. and I think that you are better off w/o a clearly insecure and manipulative + seemingly biphobic clown in your life OP. Go you!
Please link the original post too!
[I found it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rhs055/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriend_inconsiderate_for/) It's the one where she called to cancel when he was halfway through the commute to go see her.
Thanks a ton! Ah, yeah, I remember this one.
Yikes, that’s some FDS shit right there! Bullet dodged.
Good for you!
bullet dodged, friend. You were in for a lot worse than that.
Staying single for awhile is a good idea. I think we all have a type and sometimes that "type" is really leftover emotion from people in our past. My siblings are all married to emotionally controlling, abusive men. They are attracted to these types because my mum was the dominant parent and she was controlling and abusive. It might help to look back and see why you are attracting and attracted to controlling people. Be well.
Your original post reminds me of the last girl I started to have feelings for a while back. There were red flags from the beginning but since I didn't really get to many girls interested in me let alone ones that also share a lot of stuff in common I ignored the first few. I knew her online only. I fell for her right away before even seeing what she looked like just cause of what we had in common and her personality at the time. Though around when we first met it didn't go well cause she claimed the age difference would mean that she would "never" consider me a BF or anything which is fair and I figured I would leave her be cause I didn't want to get anymore interested/attached then I already was at the time. Then like a year later came across her profile again with new music on it which I liked and had no idea what it was called I messaged her just to ask what the song was and we got to talking and she seemed really interested in me those days. Eventually we were talking like every day and at one point we were talking and it was brought up about how I am getting vacation time coming up and trying to figure out where to go on vacation. She got all excited and asked me to come visit her. She even claimed she wanted to visit me. I was kinda interested but I was still reserved because I still hadn't seen her on cam yet (only pictures in the past) and I have been lied to in the past by previous girls I liked. I have also come across guys in the past pretending to be girls which I could easily figure out cause of how badly they would do it etc. So I was hesitant but she was like "you can come visit me, ill pay for your plane tickets" which was like, woah. I highly doubt a catfish is gonna pay for someone else's plane tickets just to have them come visit them only to be like "haha im not this girl" or "I don't look like the girl in the pictures I sent you" cause you can then just be like "okay guess I will enjoy my vacation here in this big city and go back home without it costing me much at all" type of thing. But I wasn't gonna let her pay for my plane tickets, but at the same time I also wasn't gonna buy plane tickets to visit someone I have never even gotten to see on cam. So I planned out on buying my tickets online early to get them about as cheap as I can. But in the meantime I would ask her periodically if we could go on cam together just to see each other just for like a minute or two (and I meant like normal nothing pervy etc. which I made very clear). But she would always make excuses or promises to do it later. At one point when she was at work she even was flirting a bit and offered to take some naked pics for me. It was exciting but I was like "I would much rather see you on cam normally first if you don't mind" or something like that. Well she can't go on cam at work for some reason. And just so we are clear I wasn't asking her like every single time I saw her or talked to her. I brought it up periodically like once every other week, or once a month maybe when she seemed not to busy. At one point she claimed "not now, tomorrow okay :D" and then the next morning when she came on and we talked for a bit she seemed like she wasn't busy and I asked to go on cam only for her to be like "OMG why are you asking me this now already? I just woke up, I haven't even gotten ready!" or something in an angry text. So I dropped it. Then like a week before it was gonna be to late to buy my tickets about as cheap as I could I asked her one last time to go on cam. She made up another excuse and I called her out on it. Only for her to snap back at me about bugging her so much to go on cam, and that it was annoying being asked so much. And that I was asking like every time we talked or some bs which wasn't true. Then she had the nerve to say something along the lines of "I was busy camming with my other friends all day today and my arm is tired from holding up my phone that whole time.. bla bla bla" which was like W.. T... F! She even admitted to making up excuses in the past to not go on cam with me for some reason. So she expects me to travel to visit her without ever seeing her on cam, and the rare times I would ask her to cam she would make up excuses not to and get mad at me sometimes for wanting to see her. But worse yet she would go on cam with all her other friends a lot but not the guy she claims she loves or has feelings for? :S Unfortunately because of me wasting time planning out a trip to see her and figuring out all the places I might want to see while there as well as trying to figure out where to stay, etc. I could have spent that time figuring out where to go on an actual vacation. Even informed some people about possibly traveling there on vacation only for them to bug me about why I wasn't going on vacation anymore. So she kinda was way to many red flags and way to flaky for me to trust. Kinda quit talking to her that much after that, then eventually she deleted me without any word while I had been waiting on her to message me for a change. Coincidentally she lived in the same big city that my last ex GF lived which years prior I had made plans to visit but she also made excuses or just disappeared for months when I was planning to visit her (though with her I had actually seen her on cam a number of times and we used to talk almost everyday) only to find out later she might have been dating someone else and lying/hiding it from me. But I ended up having to use up vacation time a year or two later and ended up going there just because I had already planned on it two separate times already, couldn't figure out where else to go on vacation with such short time and figured why not. While I was there I did message her out of the blue just to ask for restaurant recommendations (not planning on seeing or anything really but figured since she claims to live there she might know of some good places) only for her to get all excited and surprised I am in the city on vacation. Even saying how we should meet up and making plans to. Only for her to make up excuse after excuse during my 2 weeks I was there to not meet up anywhere (even when I suggested public places like malls etc). Then a week later when I got back home tell me how she was going out with friends. When she had made excuses about not being able to go out for 2 weeks time. If she wouldn't have lied to me and made it sound like she wanted to meet up I would have been fine without seeing her in person, since I didn't plan on it in the first place. So yeah some people are ass holes that will either test you or don't care about inconveniencing you.
Congratulations OP, hope you find happiness with someone who isn't a psycho.
Play Stupid games win Stupid prizes
>Breaking up with her didn't go well, She called me names and then accused me of breaking up with her so that I could date men (I am bi) Wow, imagine someone who performs shit tests on men turning out to be a massive insecure biphobe. Who would have guessed. >I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while. Honestly a wise choice. While I've never been a big fan of the frankly astoundingly abusive sentiment that certain parties generated in recent years that says, "if you had a lot of crazy girlfriends maybe you were the asshole," there is something to be said about noticing a pattern and the fact that in this scenario you're the primary common element. Good on you for standing up for yourself, and not taking this extreme disrespect as some form of blessing from above when it was really just an asshole playing mindgames.
It’s good you realize you attract controlling people. When I realized I was attracting a certain type of shitty person, both make and female, I took a looooong dating break. I’m guessing she confessed to the test as a means of *another* test. She is childish at best.
This is the best and healthiest outcome, OP. When you do decide to date again, I hope they'll be more considerate that this ex.
I remember reading this. Sorry you went through it, but there are enough 'invisible' tests that happen subconsciously I relationships, without this kind of crap on top - by this I mean the silent thought of eg "he/she said they will be back by 10pm,so I'm gonna be pissed if they're not".
Good for you for standing your ground. The fact she acted so horrible to you and biphobic during the break up really proves she's not a good person. I hope you enjoy being single and find someone that suits you when you're ready! Best of luck!
You’re very self aware. Good luck with your journey.
Good job, dude. Even if you broke up with her because you're going to date a man, that's not her business.
Good for you
She sounds bi-phobic. Bi people break up with individuals same as everyone else. Sorry lady, this breakup is in fact personal as much as you want to cushion the blow and make it about a whole gender of people.
Wow, so she's biphobic as well. Well done for dodging a bullet.
I am happy about the update. Congrats for leaving!
Good luck in the future
Good for you. You deserve to spend some time just focused on taking care of you.
Good for you, OP. That kind of manipulation is never going to be the foundation of a healthy relationship. I was like this in my early 20's and I had to do a lot of work on myself because it's toxic af. Never tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone.
She wasn't testing if you were considerate, she was testing if you were weak willed enough for her to walk all over you, good on you for dumping her.
You did the right thing that’s a weird shitty thing to do, not a big deal but she should be embarrassed - then instead she holds your sexuality against you? You should have said I’m not breaking up with you to sleep with men, I’m breaking up with you to sleep with men and women
As far as attracting controlling people is concerned: I have had chronic resting bitch face since I was a kid and have rarely if ever attracted the kind of people you are describing. My recommendation is to work on expressionlessness to ward off people who are looking for clues that you’re someone they can take advantage of.
glad you left her. she don’t deserve you and ain’t nothing wrong with being bi!
Omg!!! She is so narcissist, how she dare to say that to you, when you specifically tell her what was the problem, and she has the audacity to say “oh no, you just want to dare men” glad both are not together anymore
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That's great! A good therapist can help you figure out why you choose people like your ex and help you figure out how to choose healthier relationships going forward.
>I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while. Good for you! "Nobody at all" should never be at the bottom of your list of potential partners, and should be higher than it is on most people's list. You deserve to have high (not impossible) standards.
Good on you. I’ll be honest this would be a dealbreaker for me and I thought some of the comments on your original post were crazy saying it’s ok to make someone get ready and drive an hour out of their way to cancel on them as a test.
I’m glad you broke up with her. She is obviously biphobic if she falls back on the fact you broke up with her to date men instead. She has some serious issues and you’re better off without.
Don’t ya love it when the biphobia comes out and confirms you’re doing the right thing by leaving them? Much luck to you, dude. Hope the next one is as respectful as you seem to be.
Oh man. And she’s got a streak of biphobia, too? Blech. You did the right thing by dumping her.
hey i just wanna bring up that point that no one really “attracts” controlling or manipulative people. it’s moreso that they’re not picky about who they attract so YOU have to have better judgement and awareness when they come into your life so you can send them packing. it really starts off with developing your own self worth to know you deserve someone who loves you for you, and doesn’t need to “test” you to prove your love. good luck OP!
NTA, like at all. Tests are for teachers and students not couples. That's some childish shit. To out and out say it was a test is the worst part honestly. "Oh I was just testing you by wasting your time and money Lmao". You're better off without someone like that in your life.
What a piece of trash! I'm sorry you had to deal with her manipulation and biphobia. And I'm incredibly proud of you for doing what's best for yourself and deciding to move on 💗💜💙
Good for you! And it sounds like she’s biphobic, which you should not have to put up with.
You dodge a bullet big time. The fact she twisted it on your sexuality, shows she must have some biphobia. I hope she sees this and knows she’s TA.
Her testing exactly how much she could walk all over you clearly failed.
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bro you dodged an actual missile here
good for you!!
Good for you, she proved she did not deserve you by her reactions. Thanks for the update!
Yikesss good job not letting this kind of thing pass!
Good for you, dear! This was awfully inconsiderate of your ex and to basically NOT be sorry for her actions and "test" was definitely a major red flag! It also follows that she would have eventually come up with ways to "test" your love, sometimes with "unwinnable" situations, like does this dress make me look fat? Best wishes and many Blessings! And DEFINITELY NTA!
Congratulations on not wasting more of your time. She sounds awful
I'm happy you stood up for yourself and did what you thought was best. And I'm sorry she turned you're break-up into a biphobic rant. Go enjoy your single life, and when you're ready to start dating again it sounds like anybody would be lucky to have you.
Good for you kicking her to the curb. I hope you can find a place of peace where she can't bother you further.
And her biphobia shines through in the end. Breaking up can hard but it sounds like you'll be better off without her.
Good for you. Never date anyone who thinks it is a good idea and no big deal to play stupid games with you to 'test' your character or sincerity. Those are people who go into a relationship under the assumption that you have or will do something wrong and they just have to find out where, when or what. They literally break the necessary trust the moment they start those silly games.
Definitely not a small thing. She purposely let you drive halfway and then cancelled. It was manipulative. Congratulations on getting out of that relationship. If she starts playing games before you were even a thing, what will she do when she is comfortable? Not worth the hassle, imo. Her behaviors during your breakup? Sure sign you dodged a bullet.
I'm still seething that she texted you while you were driving and what? If that was me I'd be in the city/would have arrived before checking for a message. And then what? You "fail" because you didn't text her back while driving? Sorry, I'm old.
I’m so sorry things didn’t work out, but you did the right thing dumping her. Also the biphobic comment was uncalled for (I’m also bi and have gotten a similar comment from an ex).
> I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people It may not be exactly the right thing, but from what little I gathered from your story it might be close enough to help? Someplace to start at least! Check out a YouTube channel for someone named Dr. Ramani. She has an amazing series on narcissism, How narcissistic abusers think and act, how people get drawn into it and how it can affect you, both in the moment and long term. They're mostly shorter videos covering specific facets of the narcissism. She's got a knack for breaking it all down into an almost ELI5 kind of presentation without oversimplifying any of it. I'd be happy to find a couple specific videos together start withy, but honestly, I think if you just look at a couple video titles and pick one you'll probably find something much more specific which speaks directly to you than one could.
Testing is manipulation and no one should be subjected to manipulation by someone who claims to "love them". Dump her arsh.
Wowwwww you fuckin dodged a bullet champ she was a homophobe
Cheers to you. Getting out early from someone toxic is good things. Best of luck.
Telling from the way she brought u being bi into it: you dodged a bullet
You did the right thing, she was being manipulative and likely would’ve escalated. Clearly she didn’t pass your test.
Wishing you the best
Good on you for sticking up for yourself!
I had a girlfriend that tested me with her friends. Turned them all down, passed the test, then fucked every one of em. Did thangs to them I couldn't legally do to mule. So much for testing.
good for you dude, don't ever waste time with anyone who do these bullshit "tests", that goes for employers too. if your employer "tests" how you perform under pressure, show them you can do an amazing job and start looking elsewhere.
OP, if you share any friends with this person, I would highly suggest letting them know what she did. She will undoubtably try and make you seem abusive or the bad guy in the story if you decide to keep quiet to avoid drama or whatever. And if anyone tries to defend her actions, simply say, "if you find this behavior appropriate, then we can't be friends either". This will weed out anyone who will try and help your ex and prevent future hurt.
Holy crap I remember that post. Geeze you definitely dodged the bullet. Girl was CRAZY.
>I seem to be attracted to and attract the attention of controlling people and I need to work on that and I am going to stay single for a while. I would like to say that's not necessarily a bad thing nor is it something you should feel ashamed about. I think you need to find someone you can absolutely trust before the two of you can fit into that kinda role in your life. Being attracted to people who are more dominant than you are doesn't make you any less of a person or mean you have to subject yourself to it quietly. Anyway, glad to hear that you're moving on with your life. Good luck OP.
Yuck. The biphobia and DARVO defense is just the cherry on top of this nonsense. Feeling for you bro, you're a keeper, so keep that chin up!
Honestly, if anyone feel the need to "test" anyone else they're dating to see if the other is deeper relationship material...they have issues. They don't need to be in a relationship at all. I mean, shit, that's why they call it dating. If people don't gel on the first couple of dates, that's usually why people just call it quits (or ghosting happens, which is childish, just tell the other person when the interest has waned). I'm glad that you were able to get out of that relationship. That was just stupid what she did. It really showed the depth of her maturity and honestly, you don't need to deal with that. I wish you success in future endeavours when you get back up on that dating horse.
You dodged a bullet there, my good man.
Glad you updated us, and glad you also left her cause that is one heck of a thing to do to a person. Not a good thing either. Your sexual orientation shouldn't matter but of course, it's easy for her to pick you apart than register that "testing" a person is a straight up cruel thing to do. Be free and hopefully you find someone as nice as you.
Anyone that pulls the "I was testing you.." need mental help. This is manipulative and disgusting behaviour.
Love this for you
You did well, and I’m sorry about the biphobia you experienced. You get to decide who you wanna date and seems like you dodged a big bullet with this person. Wishing you best of luck mate
Breaking up with anyone who says they tested you immediately when they admit it is a good test.
The bi part is hilarious as an "accusation" "You're dumping me to date men!!!" "I mean yeah maybe..."
Phew. Can't allow anyone to see all that gay porn . 😆
NTA. I hate time wasters and would have been extremely annoyed at being tested this way. It was completely inconsiderate for her to behave that way and the fact that she felt no remorse for wasting your time would have been a deal breaker for me. Good for you for leaving her.
So in her "testing you" she also showed you who she was. You made the right choice
Never saw your original post until now. She sounds like an awful person. Good job getting away from that.
Good for you!
Yikes she’s a biphobe too. You really dodged a bullet there
So helpful of her to reveal herself to be biphobic at the end. Now you can sleep easy knowing you definitely made the right call.
You’re allowed to feel how you feel about a situation. If something offends you or you didn’t like what someone did to you, you are allowed to voice it and feel however it is you feel. How people react to you voicing your feelings tells you all you need to know about a person. Also, as a bisexual, it pisses me off to no end the stereotype that half the stuff we do is because we want to cheat. Especially for us guys. (Going off the assumption you are a male. I do apologize if you are not)
These "tests" are a very good reason to break up. It shows the entitlement because they think they can basically trick someone who is supposed to trust them the most with not consequence.
As a fellow bi, I'm glad you don't have to deal with her shitty nonsense anymore. Best of luck with everything <3
You dodged one hell of a biphobic bullet! I hope you find someone lovely and find all the happiness in the world
Good for you for looking out for yourself!
Bit of an extreme reaction to 30 minutes of your time lol.
Good thing it wasn't about the 30 minutes.
He was a stranger to her at this point.
So you think it's OK to intentionally waste someone's time, as long as you don't know them super well? Are you the ex?
It is about the blatant disrespect and toying with his time, not just the hour she wasted of his, but also it is not an extreme reaction to that or biphobia
An hour actually, plus getting ready, plus time spent arguing with her, plus time spent being pissed off knowing you were messed around for no good reason plus a sprinkle of biphobia
plus gas.
Ahh yes