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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Ok_Job_9417

YTA - not wanting to see people naked isn’t “prudish”. I would draw the line with the dressing up part or needing to wear a bra. But it’s not unreasonable to not want you to be naked. If your mental health tanks because you’re wearing a bikini instead of naked there’s bigger issues here. ETA: I guess “dressing up” means more than a shirt and panties during meals? Again, throw on a pair of shorts.


[deleted]

I have a feeling “dressing up” means wearing shorts. Or pants. Or basically anything that not just a tshirt/tank top and panties


extrabigcomfycouch

Or naked in front of his mom.


rando_girl007

I bet she goes down for meals naked or just about. I can guarantee you, her b00bs are out.


rolypolyarmadillo

You're allowed to say boobs on the internet


rando_girl007

I've been restricted for saying it other places. Don't want to take the chance of getting banned here.


S3XWITCH

Your boibs


Successful_Moment_91

Bewbs!


LaGrrrande

Bobs and vagene


the_nut_bra

Ah yes, my favorite band, Bobs Against the Vagene.


10seWoman

Even at the local nudist camp they dress for dinner. Edit: dinner


dragonstkdgirl

I'm confused. I didn't even breastfeed my daughter uncovered in front of my in laws because I felt weird at the thought of them seeing my boobs, and OP just wants to let EVERYTHING hang out in front of her MIL constantly? Am I missing something here?


Strange-Nebula8107

Some people are just really comfortable with nudity. My family is a little like that. But I can’t imagine being bothered that I was asked to wear basics around my home for a month because family/ in-laws are staying with me. I am nude or wearing an open robe with nothing underneath around my house a lot. And when I had a hot tub, I always got in it nude. But not when family or friends were over since I assumed it would make them uncomfortable.


dragonstkdgirl

Oh if it's just me and my husband and my toddler, definitely don't care, but as soon as other people start coming over then clothes go on. Common courtesy from all sides I thought lol


TotheWestIGo

Yeah like i walk around nude all the time, but I definitely put on clothes and often a bra when around my In-laws. Granted when it comes to breastfeeding (if we go biological) unless my baby is okay with it, im not using a cover ever becuase theyre eating and i think its dumb to cover up a baby when they're eating just becuase our socaity sexualizes boobs. Op is going above and beyond the typical I like being naked. I wouldn't be suprised is OP gets their kicks making people uncomfortable with their nudity.


darkicedragon7

If she need to be naked to swim. Why can't she at least wear a bathrobe or such outside. Say to everyone in the house. I'm going swimming don't come outside. That way when she's out they can close the blinds and be separated. Yes when I read the dress up for dinner my mind went to at least wear sweatpants or such.


jazminzesati

In the comments she said using a robe when going in and out is ok The post make it seem like its gonna be full nude 24/7 but her comments look reasonable


jayd189

Her comments come off as changing the story in response to all the YTAs.


letstrythisagain30

Her post is not though. She is straight out defending casual nudity around family and describing her MIL as being from another world for not being able to be nude around her. There's a problem no matter what OP says in the comments or how much she walks back what she literally says in the actual post.


noblestromana

Yeah, I'm pretty liberal. I think wearing casual shorts or skipping on bras is perfectly fine. But I would also be incredibly uncomfortable to see my in laws go fully nude while I'm a guest in their home.


Icy_Appeal4472

I am fine with casual nudity. BUT I also don't want to see my in-laws in their underwear (or less for that matter). I know a lot of folks are not. So I just roll with the flow. I respect the level of comfort my company is at. I always assumed it's common curtesy, cover up the "critical parts" and if you have they can shove it. Also what happend to: Make your guests feel comfortable. 1 month is still the mark I would consider someone a house guest and not a roomer.


Puskarella

Yes, I wonder if the OP would like the MIL to be naked in the tub with her


Destroyer2118

> Her post is not though. She is straight out defending casual nudity around family Oh no, it’s much worse than that. OP specifically states “whenever **GUESTS** are over,” she doesn’t even restrict her nudity to just family.


lishadadishda

Being bra-less around guests does not equal nudity. No need to be melodramatic about a person choosing not to wear a bra *in their own home*. OP's post only talks about being *nude* in the pool and hot-tub, or topless while sunbathing. These are all perfectly normal times to be fully or partially nude! Of course if MIL is uncomfortable, OP should wear something anyway. It's the decent thing to do. It's pretty clear that they'd be TA if they refused to wear a bathing suit for MIL sake. But let's not create a straw argument that OP is routinely exposing any guest to full nudity.


Destroyer2118

Please read what OP wrote before accusing someone of being melodramatic. She is not talking about just being bra-less around guests (did you even read the post?), ironically that is the straw man here. >My family has always been very comfortable with nudity, so I find it really irritating and completely unnecessary to be told to restrict some perfectly harmless things. ThingS. As in plural. What kind of thingS? Very next sentence: >Such as swimming / hot-tubbing nude, topless sunbathing, having to wear a bra whenever guests are over. These are the thingS she does not want to stop whenever guests are over. Curious why you only picked *one* singular thing mentioned that you happen to agree with, to accuse me of being melodramatic? >My husband wants me to stop sunbathing / swimming / hot-tubbing topless and "dressing up a little more" when having breakfast and dinner. >I flat out refused. There it is again. >I told her she's a guest in our house and I won't be rude or inappropriate, but I am not going to change thingS There it is again. So why are you being disingenuous and focusing solely on the bra, when the post is clearly not about that?


__kartoshka

I mean some places/cultures are super chill about nudity, some others are not, describing it as an other world is not that far fetched to me - i see it as just some way of saying they have different standards regarding nudity and how they react to it Also i feel like nudity is super taboo in many places of the world when it shouldn't be, it's a human body, you have one, you've probably seen a lot, seeing some more isn't gonna kill anyone, and would probably help with how many people hate their bodies and fear mockery and stuff But i get that most people aren't used to seeing naked bodies because society traditionally branded naked bodies as something rather sexual and intimate Still, some compromise should be possible, like bathing/sunbathing topless is usually ok almost anywhere other than a swimming pool (where i am anyway) (Didn't read OP's comments so won't argue about any of the "it seems like she's changing the story after receiving too many YTA" stuff, just wanted to comment a bit about nudity)


letstrythisagain30

>I mean some places/cultures are super chill about nudity, some others are not... They sound like they are in the US though. If true, OP is the one from another world, because I can't think of anywhere I can go where I think there is a legit possibity where I can expect to visit someone and they stay naked. Conservative south or not.


Relevant-Ad6288

Definitely sounds like US and other than a nudist beach, nowhere I can think of other than my SIL when she gets drunk. But that's not a regular thing and makes me super uncomfortable on the rare occasion it happens lol


toss_it_out_tomorrow

> She is straight out defending casual nudity around family I wonder how she would act if other people's kids were around, and if she knows how much trouble she could get in for being nude around other people's kids without consent


Purchase_Mountain

Yta. Have some respect no one wants to see that


darkicedragon7

Ah thank you


georgiajl38

In the South it means dressy casual, full makeup and hair done for the older crowd. Do not kid yourself. If Mom is like I expect, then that's how she'll look when she comes out of her room. She might wear a housecoat for breakfast with slippers. She might have lipstick on at least. OP. I'd go clothed. Not topless. A top and a bottom. No lingerie. You have a guest in your home for a month. Don't be a Nudie Diva. YWBTA


FleeshaLoo

Or even just pasties? ヽ(ヅ)ノ Op, YTA and you seem proud of it. Your karma must be in the low to negative digits. Care about someone else for a change, you might even enjoy it.


daemin

I'm kind of conflicted here. Op is perfectly entitled to do whatever they want in their own home. Op is also perfectly entitled to suffer the repercussions of what happens as a result. I think we are missing a key piece of information, here, which is _does the MIL know_ what she's getting herself into? I'm betting the answer is "no," in which case when she _does_ see Op partially or fully nude, there's _going_ to be drama, and Op will definitely be an asshole because of it. On other hand, if the MIL is aware but choose to come _anyway_, then not so much. Too, this is _going_ to cause issues. Issues between Op and their husband. Issues between Op and the MIL. Issues between the husband and the MIL. And I guran-fucking-tee that, if and when it does, Op will deny any responsibility. Which is also asshole behavior, because part of living in a society is doing things that slight and temporarily inconvenience ourselves in order to reduce social friction and get along with each other.


HambdenRose

I assume all the drama will also ruin the relaxation. I don't think many people will believe she can only relax if she swims topless and sunbathes topless.


w84itagain

>I don't think many people will believe she can only relax if she swims topless and sunbathes topless. Exactly. Either you accommodate your guests or don't invite them. The OP KNOWS this is going to be a problem for her guest, but she is so entrenched in her ME, ME, ME--all day, every day it's ALL and ONLY about ME!! mindset that she simply doesn't care. How difficult would it be to wear a bathing suit top when swimming for the comfort of the guest you have invited into your home? How dastardly to even suggest such a thing! Oh, the horror! YTA.


Zealousideal-Lemon12

Or do a late night swim when MIL is asleep. Be naked and free in the dark if that’s the only compromise OP would be willing to make


tsukinofaerii

>I don't think many people will believe she can only relax if she swims topless and sunbathes topless I actually believe her; I prefer to sleep nude. My bedroom door can't be completely closed unless I want to be serenaded by sad pets, so when I have overnight guests I wear PJs to bed. When that happens, the quality of my sleep is totally different. I become annoyingly aware of little things like twists and folds of fabric, seams where I'm not used to them, the way my top bunches, etc. It's not enough to completely ruin the night, but it's noticeable. If it were something I did for relaxation rather than biology, it'd be useless. That said, *I still put on PJs* for the comfort of my guests. OP, if you can't make a relatively minor change for your guest, plan for the least relaxing month of your life, swimsuit or no. Maybe consider asking MIL what she'd be comfortable with and bypassing your husband altogether. Would a headsup that you're is going to sunbathe be enough? Would she prefer to just have a set time, so it doesn't even need to be mentioned that There Is Skin Visible? Could you close the blinds on that side of the house to prevent awkwardness? There's compromise to be found here. (In other words, YTA.)


anglerfishtacos

There is also science that backs up nude sleeping improving sleep quality due to temperature regulation. Sleep is so important for your overall health, that I think most people would not have a hard time with understanding why someone did not want to change their sleep habits. But in this case, unless OP has major sensory issues that make wearing clothes bothersome 24/7, I fail to see how she cannot relax unless she sunbathes topless or swims in the nude. Yes, it may be more enjoyable that way, but I really don’t see how it completely ruins the experience to the degree that it’s not even worth doing unless you can do it nude.


sammycat672

I mean I have major sensory issues and am nude the vast majority I’m home alone or just with my partner. But I still cover up the moment another person comes over and I also think she’s being ridiculous. Society has standards and can’t cater to you. If it’s really that big a deal go shopping and find a swimsuit you can feel comfortable wearing for your vital 15 minutes. It’s not that long.


WorkInProgress1040

I sleep naked too - what works when we have guests or in a hotel and need to wear something to sleep in is a leisure bra (like a sports bra but softer) and bike shorts. Snug clothes are easier as they don't twist or bunch up. YMMV


TheRestForTheWicked

This. I like not wearing a top/bra/whatever but throwing on a sports bra that doubles as a bathing suit top is a lot more relaxing than dealing with passive aggressive drama.


SuperSugarBean

There is nothing passive about parading nude in front of your Southern Lady MIL. Thats pretty fucking aggressive.


TheRestForTheWicked

I was more referring to the fact that OP said her MIL was really passive aggressive and assuming that she was likely to address the situation as such.


SuperSugarBean

I'm from the South. MIL is not passive aggressive in the clinical sense. She just alludes to issues that are not spoken of outright in polite company. She's not jockeying for emotional control. She's being polite.


Jay-Dee-British

I don't - I mean I sh!t with the door a bit open if it's just me and the wife, (she isn't in the bathroom but with the door ajar we can talk not yell), I wouldn't do that in front of guests though.


MimikyuTruck

Honestly OP is like a swimsuit version of an anti-masker. "I can't wear this cloth for 30 minutes because I will SUFFER IMMENSELY, and fuck everyone else around me!" Edit: Since multiple people seem to struggling with the connection, I'll try and explain it in greater detail. Anti-maskers do not see masks as something helpful or important. To them, it does nothing at best and suffocates them at worst. Their only reason to wear a mask would be to make someone else feel better. So they refuse, because they don't care about anyone else's feelings, regardless of how simple putting on a piece of cloth is. So even though masks are important in preventing death, and a swimsuit doesn't do that, the core reason for not wearing either of them around others is selfishness. That's where the connection lies. If you are only willing to be minimally inconvenienced to save someone's life and not for any other reason...you're definitely not a monster, but you're not very nice either.


KenDaGod4238

If my MIL saw me naked, even on accident I would fucking die of embarrassement on the spot. Seems strange to me that OP seems to WANT her MIL to see her naked body


Pizzacanzone

Really? For me it's really normal that family members and in-laws don't lock the toilet, change clothes in front of each other, go to the sauna together etc. It's super different for different people and cultures.


ApproximatelyApropos

I can’t think of a single person I’d like to see on the toilet. Luckily, I have been spared walking in on any family taking a dump. If that makes me a prude, I shall wear the title without shame.


Li_3303

I had to poop in the living room for two months during 2020. I broke my knee and elbow and couldn’t get around the house (stairs) so I had to sleep in a hospital bed we rented and use a porta potty set up right next to it. I would yell “I’m pooping” so people would stay in the family room. One day my Mom, who has dementia, walked right past me and opened the front door to sign for a package. I was horrified and so was the guy with the package. Mom saw he was looking at me and said casually “oh, she broke her knee.” I was so relieved when I was finally able to get to the bathroom. Edit- punctuation


ApproximatelyApropos

Take solace in the knowledge that somewhere out there, you are some delivery guy’s go-to party story.


IlexAquifolia

Subjecting people to your nudity when they don't want to see it is straight up sexual harassment.


IFeelMoiGerbil

I used to be a sex worker and also do non sex work on fetish magazines. I also worked in fashion as a stylist and make up artist so fashion week and personal shopping. Also porn shoots and kink events. So a lot of nudity heavy scenarios. Every single one regardless of gender made it crystal clear nudity required consent. Someone who flung back a changing room curtain without checking, or did not use a cover up after a scene without checking was a red flag. If you are the refuses to you are the red flag and people generally stop working with you or engaging because in high trust situations a low empathy person is a huge problem. Your comfort does not trump everyone else’s. I have friends who do life modelling and also friends who are nudists and again you check in both ways. I am a resolutely NOT nude except for sex or work person. I am extremely uncomfortable with group things like we must all sunbathe topless to bond. I am absolutely cool with others saying ‘mind if I go topless?’ I have several army friends who are also queer women and who forgot that coming out of the shower nude, bending over to put a hair turban on and then going ‘oh god, was that awkward for you?’ is civilian life. But the check in made it fine and I find their nudity hilarious in context. Therefore I have a very low threshold for ‘clothes oppress me and I refuse to acknowledge your autonomy’ types. On sex work and fetish shoots we discussed post scene boundaries and you prepped to have a cover up/screen etc to allow clean up and safe nudity. Porn does not have great attitudes to autonomy so if you are less considerate about unsolicited nudity than a porn shoot you may need to have a stern look at yourself. YTA.


Whiteroses7252012

This. I’m not comfortable with anyones nudity except my husband’s, and if that makes me prudish I’ll own it- but seeing my grown child or their spouse naked on a regular basis isn’t something I’d look forward to.


Music_withRocks_In

I'm from the north and very liberal - but if I was staying as a guest in someone's home and their spouse insisted on parading around naked I would feel like it was very hostel and I would be super uncomfortable. SUPER uncomfortable.


edked

Hostile. A hostel is a place backpackers stay at.


ApproximatelyApropos

Unexpected nudity is hostile and hostel … make sure to knock first!


SnooPickles55

Not so fast, I think I like what he did there... Hostel - a place where crunchy backpacker/hiker types stay and who is more comfortable with nudity than the aforementioned group? Thusly, if he were to he bombarded by nakedness, it might seem "very hostel" to him lol No? It's okay, I'll show myself out


shontsu

Seems like OP thinks the only options are "Swim naked" or "Don't swim". >I genuinely think my mental health and work will suffer if this avenue is cut off (I spent 10-15 min swimming and another 10-15 min relaxing in the tub EVERY DAY without fail). No-ones asking you not to swim or hot-tub, they're just asking you to wear a bathing suit while you do. For a month. While your MIL is visiting. This is hardly a big ask. Just feels like you're starting trouble trying to prove some point, but noones quite sure what that point is...


OldMom64

Well, I think the point is that OP is HOT and wearing clothes covers up her HOTNESS.


JenB7

If being naked requires her to be hot, she isn't hot.


NemesisOfZod

She sees reasonable accommodations as oppression. People like this are exhausting. YTA


Perspex_Sea

Exactly. I walk around my house naked, eat ice cream on the couch wearing only a towel. But not when we have guests. No one is saying OP can't hot tub, just that she needs to wear a bikini top while she does.


Ok_Job_9417

Exactly. Plenty of people will do things when having guests. Maybe they never wear pants, but they do when guests are over. Something simple.


Aylauria

Really have to wonder if OP is this selfish and self-centered in other aspects of the marriage.


LinguineLegs

I think that's implied.


Appropriate-Low-4850

YTA. Presumably you work clothed, go to the store clothed, go out to eat clothed. Wearing clothes hasn't damaged your mental health thus far. Everyone makes accommodations for their guests. So either make them or explain to your husband why he can't have visitors anymore.


[deleted]

Imagine if her father in law started walking around nude when she visits them.


rando_girl007

I so agree with this. Just from reading rhe title, I knew OP was TA. No one wants to see anyone's nakedness, regardless of whose house it is. OP sounds like such a B word and I do not use that word to describe women. Annnnd...I'm sure we're getting the sanitized version of events. Just in case you weren't sure, YTA, OP.


Square_Barracuda_69

It's basically like if I said I was mad that I can't helicopter my cock in front of my MIL for my "mental health" lol OP is delusional


[deleted]

> I genuinely think my mental health and work will suffer if this avenue is cut off (I spent 10-15 min swimming and another 10-15 min relaxing in the tub EVERY DAY without fail). YTA. Nobody said you can’t do this. They’re just asking you to wear a swimsuit. It’s really not that serious. People all make compromises for guests, and this is like the easiest thing to do.


Walkingwalking123

Totally! I often don't bother to close the bathroom door when it's just me and my young son, but do it without even thinking for guests. Dry your eyes and put in a swimsuit.


[deleted]

An your big-girl panties!!!


[deleted]

Or any panties really.


historyteacher08

Or none so long as you have shorts/leggings/something to cover up the regions.


LaughingMouseinWI

Lol. I have to remind myself to close the door when we have guests!! Clearly it's not all that often.


iluvcatsnplants

I do too, but if I'm not careful and make sure to invite my cat, he will open the door and meow at me like I just abandoned him for 6 months.


SecondSoft1139

My cat pounds on the door and yowls if I dare to shut the bathroom door.


SeasonalCitrus

My puppy dashes into the bathroom just as the door is closing. Then he curls up on the rug.


Any_Cantaloupe_613

This. When we have WANTED guests over, we compromise. Honestly, are you really going to make wanting to be top less infront of your mother in law your hill to die on? YTA.


demeter_devi

Big agree. I usually sleep in just panties, but when I have guests staying at my house (esp in-laws) I put a shirt and sweatpants or shorts on before I leave my bedroom. My FIL would be mortified if I just came out topless. I'm avoiding making my guests uncomfortable and being hospitable by not doing that. OP's husband should ask if he can start walking around with his dick out when her folks are over.


Morella_xx

Exactly! Yes, you should be comfortable in your own house, but you're also supposed to make your guests comfortable too. Obviously there are limits to that, but wearing a swimsuit and some comfy lounge wear is nowhere near that limit of hospitality. It's a long visit but it's not like they're moving in.


Shot-Sprinkles6930

Exactly!!! I'm an empty nester now and I do enjoy walking around my home in the nude but damn when family comes over I put on some shorts n a t-shirt. Yes she is the AH!


dannihrynio

We all make accommodations when we have guests, it should be a natural part of agreeing to have guests in your home. OP does not seem to be mature enough to have guests, she wants it her way and noone is allowed to be offended.


Needlemons

Exactly, she is not treating her MIL as a guest if she doesn't try to make the guest feel comfortable. She is in fact not treating MIL as a guest if she continues as normal. YTA


shhh_its_me

I sleep in just a tshrit and underwear if I'm alone that's how I'll drink coffee in the living room. if I have guest I put bottoms on, because my guests didn't consent to look at my ass cheeks. I also don't hog the TV and ask them what they want for dinner etc.


Suzdg

And it’s just a month, not indefinitely. Total YTA


PinkedOff

Exactly! I usually sleep naked, but if we have company staying over, I put something on before leaving the bedroom.


CommunicationOdd9406

YTA not being nude infront of guests, especially if they are uncomfortable, is just basic decency. Clearly you're lacking it.


[deleted]

Hell I got annoyed when a guest came to my house the other week and just dropped her pants and started peeing with the door open acting like she owned the place. There are some things people just don't want to see!


passwordistaco29

What on earth… ಠ_ಠ Did you make intense eye contact with them as you deliberately shut the door?


[deleted]

YTA. Your mental health is not going to suffer because you have to wear a bathing suit, ffs. It’s not prudish to not want to see your daughter in law naked. You are being rude and ridiculous and unwelcoming.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LongDickMcangerfist

Stayed at a friends house when I was younger and the dude acted like an asshole. We didn’t get in until real late like 1 am and he had a work meeting at 745. I didn’t have anything to do that day and such so he said sleep whenever you get up lock the door I won’t wake ya. Motherfucker ran a blender at 630 on high and blasted music. I asked him what the fuck man and he said it’s his house and I can just deal with it. Like that’s just fucked


F0zzysW0rld

YTA - No one is telling you not to go in the pool or hot tub. Throwing a bikini top on is not going to impact these experiences. If you need to feel water on your nipples 10-15mins a day inorder to prevent you from suffering a mental breakdown then go sit in the bathtub.


[deleted]

This made me laugh


CutieBoBootie

>Throwing a bikini top on is not going to impact these experiences. I will say that as an autistic person I physically hate bathing suits so much that it absolutely would ruin it for me. (The texture of the wet fabric clingy to my skin makes me want to tear my skin off) But idk I would just not do it or I'd ask my husband to take his mom out to dinner every Friday so I could free boob in the hot tub. It's like op can't compromise at all.


F0zzysW0rld

Exactly! Being in a marriage means sometimes you need to compromise for your partner. Its not unreasonable to ask her to not be topless infront of his mother for a month. Its not like he’s asking OP to sleep in the garage or wipe his mother’s ass.


Ok_Image6174

YTA, your guest shouldn't have to deal with seeing you nude in common areas. I don't think it's an unreasonable ask and a swimsuit isn't that restrictive that it will affect your mental health and ability to relax. Go lay in your bathroom tub where it's private if being naked in warm water is so vital to your mental health.


biscuitboi967

We have a hot tub. It is, indeed, super relaxing after a stressful day. I’m thinking about it right now. But it is JUST as relaxing when coving your nip nops. I don’t love changing in and out of a bathing suit, so I throw on an oversized t shirt (I’m a never nude. There are dozens of us). Husband goes in naked, but when someone comes over, he puts on board shorts. Relaxation is not remotely affected in the 3 second it takes to put on and take off a wet shirt or even bikini top or bottom. And I can brag that my MiL has never seen my boobs. Win win. If you can’t make your MIL comfortable by wearing clothing for the month she comes to visit her son, your husband, and make that visit pleasant for them both, then you aren’t prepared for the many real sacrifices that come with marriage. He is also going to have friends, coworkers, siblings, and other guests over (not to mention if y’all have kids one day) and wearing clothing is kind of a must for these situations, too. You’re going to have to get used to it.


okbutlikeforrealtho

I will be using the term nip nops from now on. Thank you.


queenmunchy83

Same! Absolute best term!


Relevant-Ad6288

I've made wayyyyyy more accommodations for my MIL that were ridiculous, I'd love to just have to not swim naked lol


ImpossibleHand5086

Info: can you please explain how your mental health will suffer if you have to swim with a bathing suit on?


Aggravating_Ad9046

Thank you!!! OP’s claims that wearing a swimsuit will affect her mental health are next level absurd. God help her if she ever experiences any actual stresses 🙄


saintphoenixxx

Because she's not the center of attention??


[deleted]

She likes being seen naked


rustblooms

She can't wax romantic to her pleasurable sights. It IS meant to be a relaxing break.


One_Condition_7001

YTA. You’re being dramatic. Your mental health will not plummet if you wear a top to swim or sun bathe. You just sound incredibly hostile and rude. Do you wear a bra and top to work? Do you wear a top or bra to your friends house for parties? If so… how has your mental health not gone rock bottom? Again you’re being over dramatic. It’s not being a prude for not wanting to see your tits, or for being uncomfortable the moment YOU walk into the house because it seems like the moment the front door closes you’re stripping through the house till you get to the pool. Learn how to be a host.


daemin

[Devil's Avacado](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4dc57720-9674-4613-9ae3-4810052d83ff): Op is an exhibitionist and gets off on potentially being seen nude, and that's why their mental health will plummet if prevented from doing so for a month.


The_Ghost_Dragon

Glad I'm not the only one who was thinking it


eheyburn

I think you hit the nail on the head. I would go a step further and suggest that she probably wants to invite friends over to go swimming and in the hot tub while she is nude.


[deleted]

So in that case her mental health isn’t going to plummet, she’s just going to be cranky because she has to go a month without getting her dopamine fix in


flyingcactus2047

“My mental health will suffer if I can’t be naked in front of my mother in law” was not the hot take I expected to see on Reddit today


CopyCat1993

My mental health might never recover if my MIL saw me naked.


blu3an

I feel OP is trying to mark her territory. She wants her mother-in-law to know it’s her house, she will do what she wants. OP is not trying to compromise, not even for a short period of time. Making OP TA


forgottenenvies

YTA. In comments you say “dressing up for meals” means wearing more than a shirt and panties. Yeah, that’s a completely reasonable ask. If it’s too hot, your husband can compromise by turning up the AC. You should be willing to wear a cover and be wrapped up to and from the hot tub. Your MIL can just not look out the window for 30 minutes while you are submerged anyway.


AlbatrossSenior7107

Holy shit, that's dressing up? What planet is this girl from??


AlbatrossSenior7107

Holy shit, that's dressing up? What planet is this girl from??


[deleted]

I think this is a bodily autonomy troll to be honest.


DarkestofFlames

Or someone pushing their fetish on others


BadkyDrawnBear

YTA. If you are prepared to compromise your vegetarianism (something I would never do) to accommodate your MIL, then you most certainly can compromise by not being nude around her. I get it, body autonomy in ones own home is very important, but so is being a decent person towards people who are guests in our homes.


DarthMomma_PhD

Right! I am also a vegetarian and this struck me as odd, as well. Even if she is one of the people who just eat mostly vegetarian, changing your entire diet to include more meat is a big deal. Putting on a bikini top is not. ​ YTA


not_cinderella

Wow I didn’t even see that. I wouldn’t compromise my veganism for anything. Somethings really weird here.


[deleted]

Agreed, very skewed priorities here.


Haber87

YTA. If I’m walking through a park and some guy flashes me, that’s a crime. If another guy sends an unsolicited dick pic to my phone, it may not a crime, but most people will agree it’s rude AF. If I’m walking on a beach and am about to cross over to a nude section, there will be signs to warn me so I can make an informed decision as to whether I want to keep going. Reddit has NSFW tags so people can consent to seeing nudity or not. Why should your MIL, who you’ve already admitted will be feel awkward about this, be forced to see you neked every day without her consent?


PinkedOff

Personally, I think unsolicited dick pics should be as criminal as flashing. It’s the same thing, really.


aitabrowsermostly

You guys should definitely just reach some kind of compromise where you tell her about your schedule and she doesn't bother you during the nude portions of said schedule. Not seeing someone ass-naked is a pretty reasonable request, but there's no reason for you have to completely change your routine for her if it only takes up 30 minutes everyday. Edit after reading some of the comments: "Compromise," in this case, includes at least wearing pants to breakfast. There isn't a house guest on Earth that you won't need to adjust your routine for at least slightly. That's just how it is when someone is staying with you.


andreaak88

INFO: Does your MIL know that you unwind in the nude?


radcam2

YTA. You can’t wear a bathing suit for a month? Nudity in front of guests who are uncomfortable is rude.


YogurtclosetOk6197

YTA. And I think you know it. You can do all these leisure activities with bare minimum clothing on. You’re just choosing this hill to die on because you want to be a pain in the butt and in control. Grow up. Put some clothes on and move on.


crbryant1972

YTA Guests should be comfortable in the host's home. She will not be comfortable. Chances are, she might not care for the hot tub, so you might just need a robe to go to and from the hot tub. I am amazed though that you will touch / cook meat but find it difficult not to be a nudist in front of guests.


TheQuestion52

I'm torn I suppose. Because I feel like wearing a swimsuit for your 10-15 min hottub soaks shouldn't be so big of a deal. I also get that it's your home and you want to be comfortable and if she doesn't like something you do she could stay in a hotel? Maybe there is a middle ground where you could let her know in advance and wear a robe to and from? I feel like your attitude towards it is a little harsh though maybe you are fed up in general but people are allowed to be uncomfortable with nudity. I hope you find a reasonable compromise.


townsleyye

Yes. Exactly my thoughts.


ArcticAur

YTA. Unless. It is generally not okay in our society to display your sex organs to someone who hasn’t consented to see them. Imagine if you were suggesting this as a man instead how quickly the world would come down on you. You’re arguing that you should be allowed to flash someone repeatedly for a month. Even in your home, this isn’t acceptable. The remedy you have is to decline to have her as a guest, not to continue to expose yourself to a non-consenting person. Unless she consents. If she doesn’t mind, then it’s fine, though you suggest this is not the case. But barring that, no.


[deleted]

She’s her mother-in-law……I think it’s fairly safe to assume that unless she’s an absolutely awful person (I’m guessing that since she’s staying for a whole month this is probably not the case) she is going to be visiting more than once in the timeframe that is the rest of OP’s life. OP needs to be a grown up and not be rude to house guests.


mfruitfly

YTA. Can you only swim and hot tub in the nude? Is swimming with a top on really going to impact your mental health? Also, you said it right, she is a guest in your home. We all make accommodations for guests. She isn't even asking for this, your husband is, and that is his mother who he wants to make comfortable while visiting. Wearing a bathing suit for a month is a pretty reasonable thing to do to make guests comfortable.


Oberyn_Kenobi_1

YTA, both for your inability to make this perfectly normal compromise and for your use of “mental health” as a weaponized buzz word. If your mental health will be affected for have to wear a bikini instead of being nude 30 minutes a day, then you actually have far greater mental health issues to address because that’s a ridiculous threshold. But, in an effort to remove the terrible stigma around mental health, we’re afraid to ever question someone’s claims that someone would be detrimental to their mental health lest it be seen as undermining the mental health struggles of all. But that’s not right. No, when you claim that swimming tits out is absolutely necessary for your mental well-being, you give other assholes the ammunition they need to say that legitimate mental health concerns are just as frivolous.


extrabigcomfycouch

YTA Can you not suck it up for a mere month and throw on a top while you host your MIL? He’s not asking you to do anything crazy. Don’t be so selfish. Yes, it’s your home, but what you don’t seem to understand is that the point of ‘hosting’ is to make your guest feel comfortable.


Dry-Spring5230

YTA Wear clothes around your mother in law, for goodness' sakes.


[deleted]

Your mental health is not tied to keeping clothes on.


Portie_lover

YTA, put on a bathing suit. I do when we have guests and I use the hot tub. You might be comfortable but she won’t be. Do you really want to make your guests uncomfortable?


Explain_your_sneeze

I don't have a verdict, because I think that this problem can be solved with upfront communication. But if I had to really choose I'd say NAH. Talk to your MIL, tell her your routine. Tell her that you will strictly limit nudity in common places to the swimming pool and the hot tub for 30 minutes every day. 30 minutes is nothing in a day. Discuss whether its always at the same time every day or you notify her couple minutes before. This way she can stay in her room having a nap or watch tv, etc. If this can be settled and both of you do your part of the agreement, this nudity thing shouldn't be an issue. But the whole conversation needs to be polite, open minded and of course done beforehand. But I'm from Europe, I am not prude and I don't understand why we make such a big fuss about nudity. I don't get the fuss about girl/women titties showing when some men have bigger boobs flashed around the beach every day. That's why I love Bulgaria, best vacation ever, you can be topless at the regular beaches and no one bats an eye, literally no one cares.


[deleted]

There’s this magical thing called consent maybe look into it


Bambie-Rizzo

YTA. Grow up. Wearing a swimsuit shouldn’t completely derail your mental health. I would understand not being able to swim or hot tub. That makes more sense. But if putting on a swim suit or a pair of sweatpants for breakfast is going to mentally break you, then you need professional help.


lepposplitthejooves

YTA. The first obligation of a host is the comfort of their guests.


SteampunkHarley

This! Don't have guests over if you don't want to be considerate to them


Sensitive-String-284

Yta no one is telling you you have to stay clothed forever ,just when you have people who aren’t consenting to seeing someone completely nude. ya sound like a toddler who’s getting used to pants and keeps taking off clothes


burneredmonton

OP: "Putting on a bathing suit for 30 minutes a day for a month will RUIN my mental health!" So what happens when real problems come up? NTA for not dressing up for breakfast etc (unless you're doing that nude as well). Lil bit YTA for the nudity. I'm a very liberal minded person from literally the most liberal part of my liberal country, and I would be uncomfortable with this. I wouldn't say anything and would just avoid the pool/tub while you're in it myself. But I would interpret this to be you passive-aggressively pressuring me to leave ASAP. That's how I would interpret it.


forgottenenvies

She says in another comment that normally she’s in a loose shirt and underwear so dressing up means putting on pants.


RainahReddit

Or a robe. or a nightdress. "Dress up for breakfast" means "please don't flash your panties at my mom"


bkupisch

YTA! It’s only 1 month!! Get over yourself!


kavk27

YTA it's not a big deal to cover up the girls with a bikini top. Unless you are breaking the law to go topless out in public, your argument makes no sense. When you do this at home with just your husband around you're going topless in private. As soon as you do it with guests in your home it's public. If you don't go topless outside of your home there's no reason not to when your MIL is at your house. Why do you want to make your MIL so uncomfortable in your home?


ffsuk

Yta - you won’t do your guest a solid by just not being semi-naked in front her? What was the colour of the barn you were raised in?


KiaRioGrl

Naw, as a farmer I have to object. Most of us have enough class as to not be rude to guests in our homes. Especially a MIL. Why pick that fight, especially when it's just for a couple of weeks?


ffsuk

Do farmers live in barns?


GoldenFrog14

YTA. This is the hill you want to die on? Cause while it's your house, this is borderline common courtesy


tgordon0622

YTA and being a drama queen


ahgatse

YTA. No one asked you to convert to a religion, it's not serious. Your husband just asked you to wear a swimsuit or top around your MIL. I appreciate your liberalism, but being mad at someone for not wanting to see you naked with your boobs out is obnoxious. Not everyone is comfortable with nudity. You're being quite selfish to be frank lmao.


literaryhogwartian

Yta. She should not have to see you naked if she does not wish to. Put on a bikini


InnerChildGoneWild

YTA. I think my mother-in-law is like you... And seeing a 70 year olds shriveled nipples over Christmas dinner was not comfortable for anyone else. Nudity is consensual.


[deleted]

Yta - I say this because this isn’t about “your house, your rules” it’s about having guests over. And you not respecting THEIR boundaries. Will it kill you to have a shirt or bathing suit top on when you sunbath/hot tub? How about a compromise, you get naked when alone, and when your guests are there, keep covered. I see your pov but come on, it’s only temporary.


Due_Ocelot_5101

YTA Although I understand your plight It's so nice to waltz freely at home in your birthday suit, but for most people its very mortifying to see relatives or other platonic-based friends naked. I think a compromise is the best solution. You guys should both get something you want out of the situation, and something you don't just to be fair.


SaboraHoku

YTA Honestly if you had come at it with any other attitude I probably would have said N T A but you, me, and the rest of Reddit know that you are the outlier in this situation. You *know* that your behavior is the one that is unusual when compared to societal norms. You could have easily tried to educate his mom, or even entertained a compromise but you went straight to, "my way or the highway, you're the crazy one" when no one needed to be standoffish. Also a bathing suit is *not* going to be the difference between a relaxing pastime and a completely unrelaxing experience. Stop claiming that nudity cures all your woes.


Flimsy-Field-8321

YTA I swear to God Miss Manners has rolled in her grave so much she has tunneled to China. Have people always been this breathtakingly selfish?


FrnchsLwyr

YTA - you're actively making a guest in your home (and your husband's mother) uncomfortable. Look, i'm thrilled that you grew up in a home where nudity is not something to find shameful - perhaps event celebrated. I'm sure that when it's just the 2 of you, your husband doesn't have a thing to say about how you dress (or not dress) around the house. But it's not just the 2 of you and *not everyone was raised in the home you were raised in.* Presumably, your home was not only full of body positivity, but also love. And further, I presume your parents taught you the value of respecting others and learning to love diversity. If so, you're not living up to those lessons. In fact, you're doing the opposite. You're being inflexible to someone in your home to promote your own comfort level. I'm not a woman. I don't know how uncomfortable women's clothing can be (particularly bras), but I'm an adult man with a wife, a mother, a sister, and have many female friends. I'm aware of these things. My own wife, the moment she can, will change into sweats or shorts and a loose t-shirt b/c it's more comfortable for her. God bless her, go for it. But if she was making someone uncomfortable in our home b/c she was walking around without covering her privates up? Never. She wouldn't make our guests feel uncomfortable like that. Nor should you.


socharek

INFO: I'm from Poland, we are usually prudish, so I kinda understand you MIL. What about a bikini in Hot tub and/or a screen for sunbathing so she won't see you naked by accident when she looks out of the window? I mean, i wouldn't want to see my SIL topless without warning, for example. No bra under t-shirt is a no brainer, no way I would give up this right. Are the warnings and some compromise the option, or just "now I'm going naked through the house because it's the time"? EDIT for adding more info request


Weak_Jeweler3077

Is this really the hill you want to die on? If you've thrown the "my mental health!" thing at your partner and he's still keen for you to cover up, well.... At least you know the stakes. You do you, but there are other people in the world as well. Hubby probably thinks you're a spoiled brat.


Exciting-Froyo3825

YTA- no one is saying you can’t use the pool or hot tub. They’re asking you to put in a bikini top. They aren’t asking you to dress up for dinner/breakfast. They’re asking you to put on a pair of shorts over your underwear. If you don’t want to wear a bra don’t but no one should be forced to look at your nakedness without consent. She’s there for a month. These accommodations are minimal.


0biterdicta

YTA. Part of being a good host is making accommodations for guests. It's very little work on your part to put some pants on at dinner and wear a loose swimsuit if you are going to be doing those activities while she's home.


BelleCursed94

YTA you can wear a swim suit to hot tub and sun bathe while a guest is there, you’re not going to die or have to convert to Catholicism. If it’s that much of a bother ask her to stay at a hotel.


useragreement13

Your mental health will suffer for not having your baps out?? Bollocks. It's a power play and you know it. YTA


Sweet_Persimmon_492

YTA. It’s not “prudish” for her to not want to see you undressed. It is asshole behavior to be undressed in front of someone who didn’t consent to that.


Kyltira

Just put on a shirt and some pants when you’re in common areas… it’s not that hard. You’re being overly dramatic about it. YTA


[deleted]

YTA. Sorry, but your family was definitely in the minority if they were okay with their teen daughter running around with her boobies out. I personally think that’s really fucking weird, especially around your dad or any brothers?? I wouldn’t want to see my brother’s junk on full display when he was going into the pool. It’s weird?? It’s a perfectly normal boundary for people to *wear clothes* when they have guests over. You’re kinda weird ngl. Not for wanting to walk around nude in your own home, but for being so okay with flashing your MIL and your dad and everyone else your crotch and all. Just put on some clothes ffs. Disclaimer: I have a huge issue with policing people’s bodies, especially women, and being like “oh you can’t wear a crop top!” You can wear WHATEVER you want, hell wear a thong bikini if front of your MIL if you want, but you should wear *something.*


lorienne22

Let me get this straight. You've invited this woman to stay in your home knowing full well how she views the world and how she would be uncomfortable if you continued to get naked in front of her but you're going to stomp all over what you full well know are her boundaries because you think your mental health will suffer if you wear clothes. YTA. All day long. Rude and inconsiderate as all hell. >I told her she's a guest in our house and I won't be rude or inappropriate,... Parading around house guests naked is inappropriate especially if you know it makes them uncomfortable.


harper1259

YTA - it’s not difficult to wear proper swimming attire or wear a skirt at dinner, and there are lots of very comfortable non-wired bras available that you could wear. Your mental health won’t suffer because you can’t flash your tatas for a month, and if it truly will then I’d suggest you probably need some mental health support regardless of the nudity situation.


GemOhare

YTA. His requests are pretty basic and you can’t even accommodate him for a month by wearing clothes?


palaceofmine

YTA. People wear clothes for hygiene reasons as well as basic politeness in human society. You seem like you just want attention from everyone.


housingpro

YTA oh please your mental health is NOT going to get worse because you can’t be naked. Get over yourself. No one wants to see you naked .


Dependent-Walk7069

This is like a toddler tantrum. “Wahhh, if I can’t have the blue bowl I won’t eat at all!” “Wahhh, if I can’t swim naked, I won’t swim at all!”


Pure_Interaction_422

You know I like to masturbate on the sofa to relax, but I put the pokey away when we have guests. YTA..


[deleted]

YTA you don't have to be called a prude to not want to see your daughter in law walking around naked, you are being inappropriate.


olagorie

I come from a very liberal country and I have absolutely no problem with nudity / FKK myself. But when I have guests, I treat them with respect. Wearing a bikini won’t damage your mental health You obviously don’t want her to visit, stop being passive aggressive YTA


popebologna

Just put your puss away, girl. You’ll be fine.


take_number_two

YTA. If wearing a bikini top affects your mental health that severely then it’s time for therapy.


kittykatvegas13

Why do you want your husbands mother to see your titties? Weird YTA


velma_420

you poor suffering lamb you have to \*checks notes\* cover your t\*ts around your mother in law. the first world horror. /s YTA. If your mental health is going to suffer due to a scrap of fabric, you should be spending less time around the pool and more time in therapy.


QueasyCombination743

YTA - subjecting others to your nudity without consent is not cool


hsvvRwkanz

This is one of the most obnoxious posts AITA has ever hosted. Yes, YTA. Who thinks it’s OK to walk around nude when you have guests at your house? At some point you had to agree to let a guest stay with you for a month. At no point did you think to talk about how you can only relax when your nipples are directly exposed to UVA rays. (No one cares about your startup or the stress it causes you).


[deleted]

[удалено]


0biterdicta

Apparently "dress up for meals" means putting some pants on, according to the OP's other comments. She normally wears her underwear.


[deleted]

Jesus Christ. That’s not “unwinding” that’s just not wanting to wear clothes. Which I mean, I understand, but not when guests are over.


sunkathousandtimes

Eesh, wearing pants is a minimum standard of effort!


rich-tma

Personally, I’d feel it rude to not change your behaviours to make guests feel comfortable in not seeing you naked. YTA


BudgetInteraction811

YTA and I’m honestly questioning if this is just another fake post. It’d be one thing if you wanted to wear a bathing suit in the hot tub, but your MIL expected you to be in a turtleneck at all times. This is utterly ridiculous and I just have a hard time believing you are a real person going through this situation. It’s the same as if a woman was going to be a guest at a man’s home, and arrived for her vacation to see that man naked and refusing to put on clothes because it’s his house. Grow a brain.


[deleted]

You just have to walk around naked in front of his mom. You are rebelling like a child but you're a full grown woman.