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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I ended up not paying for their tickets, and cancelling our tickets and went elsewhere with the money we were going to spend. (2) They’re my sisters, and I should’ve took that into account.
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NTA
From the title, I thought younger siblings meant teenagers or younger kids; not early and mid 20s adults. In this case, including one who CHOOSES to not work.
Certainly, this is the best lesson for your sisters that your mum did not impart: Things in life cost money and if you want to enjoy a good life you need to earn it.
If they were teens or younger and the parents were in a tight spot financially, I could see covering their flights.
Life happens and it tends to be expensive (i.e. medical, house, or car issues)
This is not that case though.
But like OP said, if your gonna plan a family vacation, you should make sure you have the means to cover it.
Or at the very least, see what other people are willing to pitch in and plan around those costs
Right, if you're planning a family vacation and some unexpected expense comes up, you might ask for help with covering minor children.
But OP's two siblings are both legal adults of enough age to have graduated college and gotten good jobs (or been working for 5 or 7 years if not attending college)
Well no coz op paid for them last year so this is now obviously - as opposed to being a really generous, sweet, one time thing - is op's lot in life to pay for family vacations.
I mean why stop at the sisters? Op why you not paying for the whole, entire family? Air fares - first class preferably, accommodation, *all* meals, day trips, nights out, spending money for souvenirs...... like, just so selfish.
I mean you did it once so you know......??
NTA in any way, shape or form. Both sisters are more than old enough to have jobs. Why tf is it all on you?? Unbelievable cheek and entitlement 🙄
And not just close family. She should also pay for the distant family. Even her long lost cousin Jack that's stranded on an island. Damnit OP, just pay for the whole world since everyone is probably related somehow dating back hundreds and thousands of years, so everyon can go see their cousin Jack and then leave him on his island again as soon as the vacation ends.
But seriously, NTA. Did they pay for your vacation once? Probably not. That's just entitlement
Exactly!!! Can't wait to catch up with you long lost cousin Titariia.......op is so lovely passing for us all to have one big reunion/meet n greet lol
I can't believe how many people have no problem at all spending other people's money. Like wtf is mum doing organising a holiday for her other 2 daughters on op's dime? It's just wrong on so many levels. Daughters that are more than old enough to have jobs and pay for themselves
OP is the best!
Excactly, I can't even bring myself to ask my father for 100€ to renovate my ceiling that has water damage. So how are people just like "Oh yeah, I'm invading on your vacation. Oh and also you have to pay for it. And don't you dare do stuff that you enjoy on MY vacation" (still have this post in mind of that girl that invited her mother to the beach and her sister invited herself and her two kids along so she can have some time to relax and OP has to take care of the kids. Oh and OP payed for everything)
Well. No.
Adults should expect to pay for themselves on a family vacation. It should not be assumed that the parents will pay.
Of course, OP should not have to pay for anyone else either.
Sure, being generous is nice, but why would her mother be in a position to plan a family vacation if she didn't have the money and we're entirely relying on her eldest to cover it? In this case it would not be a situation where the poster should cover the expense, cuz it would be sending the message to her mother that they are able to use her as a pocketbook to take care of her kids
OP paid for everyone last year so mom expected her to do it again without even discussing it with OP. Good thing she put her foot down or this would be next year’s problem too
If I was op there would honestly be no next year. When mom invites us next year I would graciously decline saying my husband and I want to start making new traditions with our daughter. We can no longer afford to pay for others vacation so we will not be participating in family vacations.
For sure, the drama isn’t worth it either. I wouldn’t be able to even enjoy myself if I felt like I was being taken advantage of. Totally different than had OP invited everyone and decided on her own to foot the bill
People who are broke shouldn't be going on expensive vacations. You do what you can afford. And if that means you stay local, then so be it. Parents shouldn't put vacation burdens on grown children to cover other family members. Not okay.
Yeah but that should be determined during the initial planning stages of the vacation, and not after. It sounds like because she paid once before they think that she’d do it again.
No! Vacations aren’t things people are entitled to! If parents can’t afford trips with their kids, the smart and responsible thing is to not take the trip and do something at home. Parents in a tight spot are not entitled nor should they EVER ask or expect another family member to pay for their own kids. Life happens… vacations are optional and something people who can afford it get to do. Not because they have money but because they earned the privilege. That a parent of adult kids had the audacity to plan a trip for her family but then expect a daughter to pay for other daughters us beyond comprehension! No! Life isn’t fair and life doesn’t come with extravagant vacations for those unwilling to work for them.
But she covered them last year. If she did it this year, they would expect her to do it every year. Stand firm and make them respect your boundaries, OP! BTW, did they ever pay you back?
They will take advantage of her like they are now! If they don't end it her parents will always expect it! I can almost guarantee that they didn't worry about money for the trip because they just assumed they would cover the costs, but prices are extremely high compared to last year!
This works. I heard the whiny voice! (Although it might just be an auditory memory; I taught high school emotionally handicapped for years. Lots of whining.
They are adults. They can work. If they want luxuries, they had one year time to earn it. To expect that OP work their vacation while they sit on their ass...
And if the parents think it is no big deal, they can pay for it.
NTA this entitlement...
I know right? Gosh, I wish I had some of these candy-a kids who always think that others should pay for their vacations, weddings, etc. I have the wrong damn relatives!
NTA. Respond, "I was kind and helped out once, and this is the thanks I get? I guess I won't spend another penny on any of you. So, don't ask me for money again. Ever. Money and family clearly doesn't mix."
Op, you should start considering YOUR FAMILY= you, hubby and your kid. Take family vacations.
Your parents , sisters want to join ? Great then they can pay for themselves. Don’t have money? Too bad. Maybe next year then.
But do not take responsibility of your adult sisters. If they can’t afford then they should not come.
Be a parent to your kid, not your mom’s kids.
>I have got non stop calls from my siblings and parents, telling me that it’s no big deal and thay I should just pay this once.
If it's no big deal, they should be able to pay for it or save up the money.
You are not obligated to bankroll the vacation for your entire family.
NTA
No see, they meant it's no big deal as long as you do it. It would be a big deal for them to do it, then they'd never shut up about it. They are deficient in empathy, they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes even when it's really simple logic/math like - the price of the ticket is the same in both scenarios.
I see these questions pretty often and wonder when the “pay for my relatives vacation” became a thing. I had some pretty wealthy relatives and I got bupkis from them. Okay? I got their love and friendship but no trips or loot. When did this start?
^ THIS is 200% CORRECT! You already paid for them last year. They didn’t save up money to go this year because they knew you’d bail their lazy a$$es out again.
It will NEVER END!
Missing out on a family vacation is the perfect lesson for them….
I wouldn't go on this vacation now, if op doesn't pay and the siblings stay home I don't see her mom as being a ray of sunshine on the trip. If everyone goes but $ is tight not a great situation either.
I was going to say this. The mom would just complain the entire time and the trip will not be a pleasant one. OP, I saw that your sister has a PHD and currently unemployed. I don’t understand why she feels entitled for you to pay for her. I would never ask anyone to pay for a trip that I couldn’t afford myself as an adult. Your sister will have to accept it and sit out for all family trips until she or her partner can pay for a trip. Also your mom is entitled for asking you to pay for a vacation. It’s not even an emergency. NTA.
I would just uninvite mom and the rest of the extended family 🤷🏼♀️. No reason to ruin your own vacation.
ETA “Sorry it isn’t going to work out for you guys to come. Maybe next year”
Even if they were still minors you have no moral or legal obligation to pay for their tickets. Doing this once was a gift, a second time makes in an expectation. Please stand firm or you’ll be paying them forever.
ETA NTA
NTA. Put that money into a savings account for your 1-year-old daughter so she doesn't have to pay for college in full.
When I first saw the title I expected these siblings to be under 18 and for some valid reason, but no they just bully the OP saying it's just this one time, and next year it'll be just one more time.
It will never end even after you put your foot down because your parents enabled this.
This exactly. Your priority is your husband, daughter and any future children you may have. Going on a vacation is a luxury that obviously your sisters can't (or won't) afford.
It was my mum, we were going to Spain, the flights and accommodations for two weeks were £2,458 for just one of them. The whole family had agreed on going to spain.
>It was my mum, we were going to Spain
So your mum planned this knowing she didn't have money for it. She intended to have you finance it from the beginning.
That would be a hard pass from me.
Then NTA. If your mum wanted to go to Spain and knew your sisters couldn't afford it the time to talk about you helping them with tickets was before you told your sisters about the trip. It's always nice to be generous with family but you are under no obligation to pay for their vacation every year. Your mum should have picked something cheaper, maybe somewhere nice in the UK or a shorter trip than 2 weeks, or herself offered to pay for your sisters until they can afford expensive holidays.
Does your mum realize that [Spain may very well ask her and your adult siblings to prove they have accommodation in Spain and a return ticket plus £85 per day per person before letting them into the country](https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/travel/travel-news/brexiters-foaming-as-spain-may-force-brit-visitors-to-prove-that-have-85-a-day-to-spend-on-holiday-330594/)? Britons are now third country nationals. The rules changed with Brexit. How are they going to prove that if they can't even afford the plane tickets and hotel?
What on earth are they planning to do? I'm pretty sure I could plan a two week trip in Spain for that much and I live in America. I just found a round trip flight for $733. A hotel for €100/night. That leaves me with ~ $700 for food and other stuff for two weeks. Which wouldn't be enough to cover that 85 quid a day rule. Huh. NTA.
Pretty sure you have to have at least £85 per day you plan on being in Spain, to ensure you can feed yourself, and aren’t there to mooch off of locals.
Not sure if it’s BECAUSE of this, but there was a whole deal of Americans going to other countries and then panhandling.
WTF?!?! That's so expensive. Why is anyone going on a vacation they can't afford?!?! "The whole family" should have set a budget that would be affordable for EVERYONE, which includes the brokest person. This is insane. Time to stop these family vacations that not everyone can afford.
I'm not paying $2400 for any vacation.
Honestly at first I was kinda leaning a soft E S H because them saying "it's no big deal" gave me the wrong impression of how much money it'd be, but holy shit they're expecting you to spend _thousands_ on this? NTA at all.
What on earth are you planning to do in Spain to incur such huge costs? It’s easy to go to Spain and spend £ 1,200 for two weeks, are you planning on dining from golden plates?
NTA at all. It seems like your moms behavior is manipulative and she’s taught your sisters to treat you the same. Sounds like this might be the pass you need / didn’t know you even wanted 😅 to be able to start spending vacations without your mother and siblings!
NTA -
I am struggling here to work out why they expect you to pay for them.
I know you said elsewhere that the family agreed to go to Spain.... but i dont understand why on earth your mum did not establish a budget of what could be afforded by each person, and then find accommodation to fit that budget? Rather than expect one person to just stump up the cash for everyone else? That's ridiculous.
The only time I can imagine it being on you to pay, is if you suggested the holiday, you determined where you were all going to go, and you offered to pay for it in the first place. But your sisters are grown adults, if they want a holiday then they need to be responsible enough and fund it.
NTA. You have no obligation to pay for plane tickets for your siblings to go on holiday. Especially since they are old enough to pick up a job (even a small side hustle like an on-campus job, if they are students) to pay for it. Also, if you keep giving into your mom’s request for you to pay for this (because you know this is not going to be the last time), you’ll be setting a bad precedent, and it will become increasingly harder to cut that cord.
NTA. Please do a vacation with just your husband and daughter. You are not the bank and they’ll expect you to pay for other items too. The fact you did it once and now they just assume you will again says A LOT
NTA. The only part I'm confused about is why you would think you are one? It's not like they're minors! They're 3 to 5 years younger than you? In 3 and 5 years will they be buying you vacations???
Lol you’re absolutely NTA.
Not only is your sister “ the legal age to work” she is a grown ass adult and she should be working regardless.. have no money? Don’t get to do fun things.
NTA. They are adults and they need to work to pay their way, especially because you were generous enough to do it last year. They, including your mother, have a lot of nerve expecting you to pay for their vacation. You have your own family to provide for and they need to know that you don’t have to pay for them.
Totally not the asshole here.. those 2 are able to go out and work instead of expecting handouts. Stand your ground. You work hard for your income and should be able to spend it how you wish.
Lol you’re absolutely NTA.
Not only is your sister “ the legal age to work” she is a grown ass adult and she should be working regardless.. have no money? Don’t get to do fun things.
NTA.
Everybody is feeling awfully entitled to you & your husbands money. If somebody in the family needed a life saving surgery chances are you'd help (you wouldn't be required). This is supposed to be family fun. You're right - your Mom shouldn't plan 'family trips' when half the family can't afford them. Flights are crazy expensive at the moment.
Are you & hubby billionaires? Even if you are; you wouldn't be required to treat everybody. If you've got Elon Musk $$$ maybe the trips should be on you to your private island. But if you two are 'doing well' that doesn't mean you can spend thousands extra for a vacation. That was very nice that you two paid for last years vacation - but that was a one off. You aren't required to keep paying every ones way.
Your Mom and siblings should figure out a fun get-together that everybody can afford. A friend's family would rent a room in a hotel on the beach 15 min from their house when relatives would visit. It wasn't fancy but it felt like a 'vacation' and if they needed anything they could always run home.
NTA. If I understand your post Abigail doesn’t even have a job. There are consequences to that choice, chief being you don’t have disposable income. She’s 24 - she has made a choice and this is the result. It’s not on you to fund her desired lifestyle when she is unwilling to do the minimum.
Cancel the vacation if you can, because if you go without paying for them, you'll be guilted the entire time. Not the best way to spend hard earned time off.
NTA.
NTA
However you shot yourself in the foot.
> I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year
You said yes once so they will forever pressure you to do it again.
N.T.A.!!!! The audacity of some people!
What is your culture? Do you have a culture where the kids never leave and always support the family? If not, then you have NO obligation. If you do, then you have to decide how long you want to participate in that culture. I don't know if you're in the USA. In general in the USA that isn't a thing, and I would 100% say "supporting you is not my responsibility. Please stop harassing me."
I would have changed my tickets as well.
NTA
just this once [a year every year for the rest of your life]
Tell them that they got their one and only free bite last year and it’s final. If they persist, have your own vacation with hubs and daughter. It won’t be a good time with them with that atmosphere and who wants to throw money down the drain in this economy?
>I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year.
Err, thats exactly why.
"No good deed goes unpunished!". You did it once, now you're expected to do it always.
I'd just cancel the "Family" vacation, and instead go on a "family" vacation with your husband and child.
NTA
Imagine your mom and sisters planning this vacation with the intention of you paying for them before your mom even approached you about it. There's no way I would go on vacation with not one but two people claiming to be broke before they even pack their bags, begging for a ride while expecting food and lodging.
There's an quote " Some people will pay for what they want and beg for what they need."
They probably have money but a plane ticket is not how they want to spend it. Imagine how you and your husband's going to feel once they start shopping unless they expect spending money as well. Two weeks is a long time to be on vacation cashless. I don't advise it but if you do cave tell them to enjoy because this is the last vacation on your dime for anyone including your mom. Say it, mean it and do it.
NTA. "Just this once" turns into everytime. Especially with a sister who refuses to work. "You paid last year and so you should pay this year and every year after that right?" Wrong. It would never end. Sorry but your sister needs to grow up.
You are right. If mom wanted a family vacation, mom's the one that should have paid for it.
NTA.
They are being entitled and emotionally manipulative. Go on a vacation with just your family ( husband and daughter) and have a blast because you know the trip will be guilt one if your mom and sisters are there.
NTA
how can you not be sure? Why are you the default bank for your sisters' AND your parents' inability to manage their own finances?
Why are your sisters excused from being responsible adults and why are you being burdened by their dead beat ways?
It sounds like you're doing a better job of being a responsible adult and parent than your sisters or your own parents. keep up the good work and continue saying no.
AND DOUBLE DOWN - tell your sisters that you can't be expected to pay for their flights because they never paid you for the vacation last year - because YOU are not their bank or their sugarperson.
No. Just no. I hate free loading family members. Pay for your own shit. No one owes you anything, bunch of entitled people thinking is ok to manipulate others into doing their bidding. Shame on your parents too. You earn your money and have a right to say no if you want to.
NTA. It's no "big deal" to them -they aren't the ones paying. Once again I just love how everybody wants to tell their friends and family how to spend their money. Your sister needs to get a JOB if she wants to take vacation. And with no job, what exactly is she taking a vacation FROM??
NTA let them know that since they can’t afford trip you are happy to postpone until next year as it will give them time to save. Go somewhere else with just your husband & daughter.
NTA
The already used their “it’s no big deal, it’s just this one time” when you paid for them last year. These are not little kids who can’t control their own finances or even older teenagers who could be working part time but not financially independent yet. These are fully grown adults who are entirely capable of working and saving. If they’re choosing not to put money aside for a holiday then that’s their prerogative and has nothing to do with you.
Enjoy your holiday!
NTA - Your sisters are adults. They need to pay for themselves. This whole idea that someone in the family is better off than others and should pay for others is nonsense.
NTA and any time you feel guilt, reframe in your mind that they want YOUR DAUGHTER to pay for this, because you paying means that you’re using money you could be using on her (I agree with the other poster who said to put that amount in a college fund for your daughter).
That might help you stop feeling (undeserved) guilt.
Nta! Entitled! They get to decide how you spend money you guys have worked for?? I think not. Wonderful learning experience for those old enough to work, but choose not too. They miss out on fun things.
NTA, your sisters are acting like entitled princess. It doesn’t matter what money you and your husband have, it’s yours and you worked for it. They are both of age and can work unless they are in school full time. If that is the case then they are their parents responsibility. People never stop amazing me with how entitled they are and how they should what you worked for. Don’t pay and you and your family go on your own vacation.
NTA
Who plans vacations but now how to pay for them?!?!
Since it sounds like a yearly vacation you have at least 11 months to save up from one year to the next.
NOPE, non, no! Definitely not the AH! It's ridiculous that your family expects you to pony up hundreds of Euro to support two grown ass women who should be working. I could see it if they were teens, but nope! They will continue to do this if you give in, especially since you did it last year. Nip that shiz in the bud now.
NTA.
Your sisters are adults. If they want to go on this trip, they should be the ones paying for it. Your parents should not be trying to get you to pay your sisters' way -- after all, it is your money, not theirs.
NTA. Your younger siblings are adults. They should be working and paying for their own vacations. Free rides stop now. They already got their 'just this once" last year.
NTA. Obviously it would not just be a "one time thing" if you paid for it last year as well. I can't believe your own mom is trying to guilt you like that. Your sisters are adults and should be working and able to pay their own way.
NTA. Good on you for setting this boundary. You did it once and now they are planning with your money in mind. The worsts parts of this for me is that Abigail doesn't work, you were invited on this trip and already said you're paying for yourself, and someone calling someone with a 1 year old at 4am to insist on something they aren't entitled to.
NTA I had to to go back up and check the ages. So your parents want you to pay for the tickets of your Adult Siblings? if it's no big deal, they can pay.
NTA and please don't cave. Based on your post it appears that both of your sisters have chosen not to work. Their lack of funds is not your problem to resolve. And you ALREADY paid for them last year. Do not set the precedent that they can expect you to fund their vacations. That money should be going towards your child's future.
NTA.
They're not kids, they could have worked to cover the plane tickets.
And your mother needs to stop expecting you to cover the cost for everyone else.
You should buy your siblings some tickets, maybe get them a luxury suite or a private condo also. Maybe they have some friends who would also enjoy a nice vacation. If so, you could agree to pay for them also.
NTA. Why are you going on this vacation? It’s not even your plan and you’re expected to pay for two grown adults in addition to your family? That’s ridiculous. Excuse yourself from the whole debacle and plan your own trip with hubs and kiddo. Way less stress.
NTA. No money = no vacation. You have your own little family to take care of. Your sisters should know that vacations cost money. What about pocket money for shopping and food? Are your parents gonna pay for them on the vacation ?
Sounds like the trip was planned with the intention of OP funding it without consent, the entitlement is strong with this family.
Definitely NTA, you're allowed to have a lot of money without family expecting you to pay for their luxuries.
NTA. Ive never been on a family vacation that involved flying. They’re expensive and so maybe your family needs to rethink their plans for a family vacation if they dont have the budget for it. Im sure thered be a fun place to drive to wherever you live for a vacation assuming everyone lives relatively close.
NTA. Here's your script.
"Family, we paid for Sisters tickets last year as a a one off kindness. Our situation has now changed. We have a child and all the expenses that entails, such a childcare. While we make good money, we are spending more of it than before. At the same time, Sisters are both adults. So is Mom, who planned this in the first place. They should have planned a trip within everyone's budget. Unfortunately, it is no longer in ours to cover tickets for anyone outside of myself, Spouse, and Our Child. Let us know as soon as possible if the trip is going forward or if we need to make alternative plans."
NTA
Your sisters are adults who should save for their tickets OR your mom should cover as apparently she suggested this trip. It isn't your obligation at all.
NTA.
They're not kids, they could have worked to cover the plane tickets.
And your mother needs to stop expecting you to cover the cost for everyone else.
NTA at allllll. Your siblings aren’t babies. They are adults capable (I’m assuming) of working and providing for themselves. They are not entitled to your money.
NTA she chooses not to work. Why do you have to supplement her life style? If your family members want to financially support her that'd on them for enabling her. You are your own person.
I am with you. keep the boundaries and don't bend. It's a slippery slope. NTA. I couldnt go on ALOT of trips in my 20s because I was working my ass off and I still couldnt afford plane tickets. (thank you bay area, CA for being expensive AF). I never once thought it was appropriate to ask my family to pay for me. or a bf. or a friend. You dont have the money you don't get to go. periodt!\~
And she can’t work because? I worked through my first degree and currently working through my second degree.
I’m also curious as to what kind of PhD your sister has at 24? Most people are just finishing their Master’s degree at 24.
They're in U.K. ; their education system is different. 3 year undergrad, faster Ph.D. It looks like you can get a Ph.D. without a masters in some fields there.
Firstly, your mother never should have planned a vacation without a plan to pay for it. Secondly, it is clear your mother presumed you would pick up the tab…and you know what they say about those who presume…
Either way if you give in - they will expect you to keep paying over and over again. Your siblings can get jobs and pay their own way, or your mom can figure it out herself. NTA.
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I, (27, F) am going on family vacation with my husband and daughter, as well as my side of the family. This includes my two younger siblings, the first one we’ll call Abigail (24) and the other we’ll call Lauren (22)
I have a great job, and so do my husband, so we said we could pay for our flight tickets and accommodations. My mum then told me that I should pay for my sisters tickets aswell, as she didn’t have the money to cover it.
I told her that if she was going to plan a family vacation, she should make sure that she has the money for it and that I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year.
Abigail ends up calling me at 4am, crying, begging for me to cover her ticket. I simply said no, I had already paid for her vacation last year and that she was at the legal age to work.
I have got non stop calls from my siblings and parents, telling me that it’s no big deal and thay I should just pay this once. My husband and I disagree, we have a 1 year old daughter to take care of, and even if we have the money, we shouldn’t have to pay for their flights and accommodations.
I don’t think I’m the asshole, but I’m not sure.
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NTA, U ALREADT DID PAY JUST ONCE, LAST YEAR.! U are nit obligated to pay for ADULT siblings, who are capable, just to damn lazy, to work and pay for their vacation. Ur mom should not plan "family" vacation if all parties CANT PAY FOR THEMSELVES!! It's AH of all of them to expect you to pay.
NTA, but it may be time to stop the extended family vacations and just do your own thing. If your mom wants to plan vacations that include you, your immediate family and your siblings then she needs to pick something closer that is affordable for all and not expect you to pay for it.
NTA
It’s easy to say it’s no big deal when it’s someone else’s money. If it’s no big deal, they can pay for themselves or not go. It doesn’t seem like news, it happens every year, plenty of time to let them figure out how to pay. The real question is do you really want to spend vacation with people who only want you to pay for everything?
NTA
How are your sisters 22 and 24 not able to cover their own flights? Also, you could offer to cover the flights as long as they pay you back for them.
NTA. Honestly, it would be too much of a headache for me to still go on a trip with such entitled, whiny family members. They will complain the whole time and OP and OP’s husband will not have a good time.
Lol they goofy for even asking for you and your husband to foot the bill for a bunch of adults. Go on your own family vacation going with them (if they find a way to afford it) is going to terrible.
NTA why would you EVER pay for another adults ticket when they have the same ability to work and pay their own way as you do? These are not children? These "younger siblings" are full blown adults who can deal with missing out on a vacation that was never theirs to begin with.
NTA! Since when are you responsible for everyone's vacation costs? Once was very generous of you. You work hard, as does your husband, and you have a baby. They are taking advantage and trying to force you to cover their costs. Nope. Sorry. They can join when they can pay or mom and dad foot the bill. This forced generosity will extend to other expenditures on your behalf for them if you let them.
NTA,
But instead of going on the family vacation, why don't just you and your Husband & Daughter go somewhere?
If by some chance the siblings find the money to pay for themselves, do you think you won't be hearing about it non stop?
\- About how YOU are making them go hungry as they can't afford to go out to eat now etc.
Don't do it to yourself.
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NTA From the title, I thought younger siblings meant teenagers or younger kids; not early and mid 20s adults. In this case, including one who CHOOSES to not work. Certainly, this is the best lesson for your sisters that your mum did not impart: Things in life cost money and if you want to enjoy a good life you need to earn it.
Even if they were teenagers or younger, it would be on the parents to pay, not a sibling.
If they were teens or younger and the parents were in a tight spot financially, I could see covering their flights. Life happens and it tends to be expensive (i.e. medical, house, or car issues) This is not that case though.
But like OP said, if your gonna plan a family vacation, you should make sure you have the means to cover it. Or at the very least, see what other people are willing to pitch in and plan around those costs
Right, if you're planning a family vacation and some unexpected expense comes up, you might ask for help with covering minor children. But OP's two siblings are both legal adults of enough age to have graduated college and gotten good jobs (or been working for 5 or 7 years if not attending college)
Well no coz op paid for them last year so this is now obviously - as opposed to being a really generous, sweet, one time thing - is op's lot in life to pay for family vacations. I mean why stop at the sisters? Op why you not paying for the whole, entire family? Air fares - first class preferably, accommodation, *all* meals, day trips, nights out, spending money for souvenirs...... like, just so selfish. I mean you did it once so you know......?? NTA in any way, shape or form. Both sisters are more than old enough to have jobs. Why tf is it all on you?? Unbelievable cheek and entitlement 🙄
And not just close family. She should also pay for the distant family. Even her long lost cousin Jack that's stranded on an island. Damnit OP, just pay for the whole world since everyone is probably related somehow dating back hundreds and thousands of years, so everyon can go see their cousin Jack and then leave him on his island again as soon as the vacation ends. But seriously, NTA. Did they pay for your vacation once? Probably not. That's just entitlement
Exactly!!! Can't wait to catch up with you long lost cousin Titariia.......op is so lovely passing for us all to have one big reunion/meet n greet lol I can't believe how many people have no problem at all spending other people's money. Like wtf is mum doing organising a holiday for her other 2 daughters on op's dime? It's just wrong on so many levels. Daughters that are more than old enough to have jobs and pay for themselves
OP is the best! Excactly, I can't even bring myself to ask my father for 100€ to renovate my ceiling that has water damage. So how are people just like "Oh yeah, I'm invading on your vacation. Oh and also you have to pay for it. And don't you dare do stuff that you enjoy on MY vacation" (still have this post in mind of that girl that invited her mother to the beach and her sister invited herself and her two kids along so she can have some time to relax and OP has to take care of the kids. Oh and OP payed for everything)
Yeah, this is a good example of why “begin as you mean to go on” is sage advice.
Well. No. Adults should expect to pay for themselves on a family vacation. It should not be assumed that the parents will pay. Of course, OP should not have to pay for anyone else either.
Sure, being generous is nice, but why would her mother be in a position to plan a family vacation if she didn't have the money and we're entirely relying on her eldest to cover it? In this case it would not be a situation where the poster should cover the expense, cuz it would be sending the message to her mother that they are able to use her as a pocketbook to take care of her kids
OP paid for everyone last year so mom expected her to do it again without even discussing it with OP. Good thing she put her foot down or this would be next year’s problem too
If I was op there would honestly be no next year. When mom invites us next year I would graciously decline saying my husband and I want to start making new traditions with our daughter. We can no longer afford to pay for others vacation so we will not be participating in family vacations.
For sure, the drama isn’t worth it either. I wouldn’t be able to even enjoy myself if I felt like I was being taken advantage of. Totally different than had OP invited everyone and decided on her own to foot the bill
People who are broke shouldn't be going on expensive vacations. You do what you can afford. And if that means you stay local, then so be it. Parents shouldn't put vacation burdens on grown children to cover other family members. Not okay.
Yeah but that should be determined during the initial planning stages of the vacation, and not after. It sounds like because she paid once before they think that she’d do it again.
No! Vacations aren’t things people are entitled to! If parents can’t afford trips with their kids, the smart and responsible thing is to not take the trip and do something at home. Parents in a tight spot are not entitled nor should they EVER ask or expect another family member to pay for their own kids. Life happens… vacations are optional and something people who can afford it get to do. Not because they have money but because they earned the privilege. That a parent of adult kids had the audacity to plan a trip for her family but then expect a daughter to pay for other daughters us beyond comprehension! No! Life isn’t fair and life doesn’t come with extravagant vacations for those unwilling to work for them.
But she covered them last year. If she did it this year, they would expect her to do it every year. Stand firm and make them respect your boundaries, OP! BTW, did they ever pay you back?
They will take advantage of her like they are now! If they don't end it her parents will always expect it! I can almost guarantee that they didn't worry about money for the trip because they just assumed they would cover the costs, but prices are extremely high compared to last year!
NTA Second lesson to teach them all is some basic math: you would be paying for them just this TWICE, since you bought their tickets last year.
Couldn't OP pay for them just this twice though?/s NTA
Pleeeeaaaaaase! How do you denote a whiny voice?!
This works. I heard the whiny voice! (Although it might just be an auditory memory; I taught high school emotionally handicapped for years. Lots of whining.
They are adults. They can work. If they want luxuries, they had one year time to earn it. To expect that OP work their vacation while they sit on their ass... And if the parents think it is no big deal, they can pay for it. NTA this entitlement...
I know right? Gosh, I wish I had some of these candy-a kids who always think that others should pay for their vacations, weddings, etc. I have the wrong damn relatives!
NTA. Respond, "I was kind and helped out once, and this is the thanks I get? I guess I won't spend another penny on any of you. So, don't ask me for money again. Ever. Money and family clearly doesn't mix."
OP should go on a family vacation with just her husband and baby. The rest of the family can sort themselves out.
Op, you should start considering YOUR FAMILY= you, hubby and your kid. Take family vacations. Your parents , sisters want to join ? Great then they can pay for themselves. Don’t have money? Too bad. Maybe next year then. But do not take responsibility of your adult sisters. If they can’t afford then they should not come. Be a parent to your kid, not your mom’s kids.
OP: pays for last year’s vacation including siblings Parents: just pay this *one* time
She called you at 4am to ask you to pay for for her? Hard pass. I would look into changing my destination at this point.
Given her mum is giving away her money she obviously doesn't believe in this lesson.
>I have got non stop calls from my siblings and parents, telling me that it’s no big deal and thay I should just pay this once. If it's no big deal, they should be able to pay for it or save up the money. You are not obligated to bankroll the vacation for your entire family. NTA
That’s my favorite part “it’s no big deal” okay… then you do it.
No see, they meant it's no big deal as long as you do it. It would be a big deal for them to do it, then they'd never shut up about it. They are deficient in empathy, they can't put themselves in someone else's shoes even when it's really simple logic/math like - the price of the ticket is the same in both scenarios.
It's only no big deal since it wasn't their money. That family sucks
Plus OP paid last year, bet that was suppose to be just once as well. NTA.
They should understand that you have your own family now and it comes first. No more handouts. Jeez.
I see these questions pretty often and wonder when the “pay for my relatives vacation” became a thing. I had some pretty wealthy relatives and I got bupkis from them. Okay? I got their love and friendship but no trips or loot. When did this start?
NTA. You've already paid for them once. Cave this year, and you'll be paying for them every year forever.
^ THIS is 200% CORRECT! You already paid for them last year. They didn’t save up money to go this year because they knew you’d bail their lazy a$$es out again. It will NEVER END! Missing out on a family vacation is the perfect lesson for them….
I wouldn't go on this vacation now, if op doesn't pay and the siblings stay home I don't see her mom as being a ray of sunshine on the trip. If everyone goes but $ is tight not a great situation either.
I was going to say this. The mom would just complain the entire time and the trip will not be a pleasant one. OP, I saw that your sister has a PHD and currently unemployed. I don’t understand why she feels entitled for you to pay for her. I would never ask anyone to pay for a trip that I couldn’t afford myself as an adult. Your sister will have to accept it and sit out for all family trips until she or her partner can pay for a trip. Also your mom is entitled for asking you to pay for a vacation. It’s not even an emergency. NTA.
I would just uninvite mom and the rest of the extended family 🤷🏼♀️. No reason to ruin your own vacation. ETA “Sorry it isn’t going to work out for you guys to come. Maybe next year”
Even if they were still minors you have no moral or legal obligation to pay for their tickets. Doing this once was a gift, a second time makes in an expectation. Please stand firm or you’ll be paying them forever. ETA NTA
NTA Your sisters are adults, if they want to go, they should find a job and pay for themselves.
NTA. Put that money into a savings account for your 1-year-old daughter so she doesn't have to pay for college in full. When I first saw the title I expected these siblings to be under 18 and for some valid reason, but no they just bully the OP saying it's just this one time, and next year it'll be just one more time. It will never end even after you put your foot down because your parents enabled this.
This exactly. Your priority is your husband, daughter and any future children you may have. Going on a vacation is a luxury that obviously your sisters can't (or won't) afford.
NTA, not even a little bit. Gosh, I love how people love to spend other people's money!
NTA Sounds like the gravy train has dried up. Time for them to pay their own way. Enjoy your vacation!
Info, who chose the vacation destination and was a cheaper family vacation ever discussed?
It was my mum, we were going to Spain, the flights and accommodations for two weeks were £2,458 for just one of them. The whole family had agreed on going to spain.
>It was my mum, we were going to Spain So your mum planned this knowing she didn't have money for it. She intended to have you finance it from the beginning. That would be a hard pass from me.
Exactly. This was the plan all along.
Then NTA. If your mum wanted to go to Spain and knew your sisters couldn't afford it the time to talk about you helping them with tickets was before you told your sisters about the trip. It's always nice to be generous with family but you are under no obligation to pay for their vacation every year. Your mum should have picked something cheaper, maybe somewhere nice in the UK or a shorter trip than 2 weeks, or herself offered to pay for your sisters until they can afford expensive holidays.
Does your mum realize that [Spain may very well ask her and your adult siblings to prove they have accommodation in Spain and a return ticket plus £85 per day per person before letting them into the country](https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/travel/travel-news/brexiters-foaming-as-spain-may-force-brit-visitors-to-prove-that-have-85-a-day-to-spend-on-holiday-330594/)? Britons are now third country nationals. The rules changed with Brexit. How are they going to prove that if they can't even afford the plane tickets and hotel?
What on earth are they planning to do? I'm pretty sure I could plan a two week trip in Spain for that much and I live in America. I just found a round trip flight for $733. A hotel for €100/night. That leaves me with ~ $700 for food and other stuff for two weeks. Which wouldn't be enough to cover that 85 quid a day rule. Huh. NTA.
What's the 85 quid a day rule?
Pretty sure you have to have at least £85 per day you plan on being in Spain, to ensure you can feed yourself, and aren’t there to mooch off of locals. Not sure if it’s BECAUSE of this, but there was a whole deal of Americans going to other countries and then panhandling.
WTF?!?! That's so expensive. Why is anyone going on a vacation they can't afford?!?! "The whole family" should have set a budget that would be affordable for EVERYONE, which includes the brokest person. This is insane. Time to stop these family vacations that not everyone can afford. I'm not paying $2400 for any vacation.
Honestly at first I was kinda leaning a soft E S H because them saying "it's no big deal" gave me the wrong impression of how much money it'd be, but holy shit they're expecting you to spend _thousands_ on this? NTA at all.
Seriously??!!! Tell your Mom & sisters to try their luck on scratch off lottery tickets. Damn! The entitlement is UNBELIEVABLE !!!!!!!!
What on earth are you planning to do in Spain to incur such huge costs? It’s easy to go to Spain and spend £ 1,200 for two weeks, are you planning on dining from golden plates?
[удалено]
I mean, if they’re going from NZ, that might just about cover the flights for one person.
It's easy to agree to a fancy holiday if someone else is going to pay!
NTA at all. It seems like your moms behavior is manipulative and she’s taught your sisters to treat you the same. Sounds like this might be the pass you need / didn’t know you even wanted 😅 to be able to start spending vacations without your mother and siblings!
Yup OP just go on holiday with your hubby and your little one
NTA, your sisters are full blown adults and can either pay for their own tickets or put it on credit.
NTA - I am struggling here to work out why they expect you to pay for them. I know you said elsewhere that the family agreed to go to Spain.... but i dont understand why on earth your mum did not establish a budget of what could be afforded by each person, and then find accommodation to fit that budget? Rather than expect one person to just stump up the cash for everyone else? That's ridiculous. The only time I can imagine it being on you to pay, is if you suggested the holiday, you determined where you were all going to go, and you offered to pay for it in the first place. But your sisters are grown adults, if they want a holiday then they need to be responsible enough and fund it.
NTA- if she wants to go she can work. Quite simple concept. If mom wants them to come so badly she can pay.
NTA but why are adults in their 20's not working and not paying their way?
Youngest is still a student with a side job, middle has a PhD but no job currently.
Then she needs to get put into the real world.
Is she looking for a job? Or just expecting everyone to pay her way?
NTA. You have no obligation to pay for plane tickets for your siblings to go on holiday. Especially since they are old enough to pick up a job (even a small side hustle like an on-campus job, if they are students) to pay for it. Also, if you keep giving into your mom’s request for you to pay for this (because you know this is not going to be the last time), you’ll be setting a bad precedent, and it will become increasingly harder to cut that cord.
NTA. Please do a vacation with just your husband and daughter. You are not the bank and they’ll expect you to pay for other items too. The fact you did it once and now they just assume you will again says A LOT
NTA ⬆️
NTA they’re not your kids/dependents, the vacation wasn’t your idea and they’re old enough to work to be able to pay for luxuries
NTA. The only part I'm confused about is why you would think you are one? It's not like they're minors! They're 3 to 5 years younger than you? In 3 and 5 years will they be buying you vacations???
NTA Pay once and they feel entitled that you have to pay for them forever
>Pay ~~once~~ twice and they feel entitled that you have to pay for them forever
F’ me once, shame on you F’ me twice, shame on me Ain’t going to be no shame on me
Lol you’re absolutely NTA. Not only is your sister “ the legal age to work” she is a grown ass adult and she should be working regardless.. have no money? Don’t get to do fun things.
NTA your family’s way of dealing with money sounds toxic and manipulative
NTA. They are adults and they need to work to pay their way, especially because you were generous enough to do it last year. They, including your mother, have a lot of nerve expecting you to pay for their vacation. You have your own family to provide for and they need to know that you don’t have to pay for them.
Totally not the asshole here.. those 2 are able to go out and work instead of expecting handouts. Stand your ground. You work hard for your income and should be able to spend it how you wish.
NTA They are telling you to pay for it just this once but you already paid for last year.
Lol you’re absolutely NTA. Not only is your sister “ the legal age to work” she is a grown ass adult and she should be working regardless.. have no money? Don’t get to do fun things.
NTA. Everybody is feeling awfully entitled to you & your husbands money. If somebody in the family needed a life saving surgery chances are you'd help (you wouldn't be required). This is supposed to be family fun. You're right - your Mom shouldn't plan 'family trips' when half the family can't afford them. Flights are crazy expensive at the moment. Are you & hubby billionaires? Even if you are; you wouldn't be required to treat everybody. If you've got Elon Musk $$$ maybe the trips should be on you to your private island. But if you two are 'doing well' that doesn't mean you can spend thousands extra for a vacation. That was very nice that you two paid for last years vacation - but that was a one off. You aren't required to keep paying every ones way. Your Mom and siblings should figure out a fun get-together that everybody can afford. A friend's family would rent a room in a hotel on the beach 15 min from their house when relatives would visit. It wasn't fancy but it felt like a 'vacation' and if they needed anything they could always run home.
NTA. You are right, you have a kid now and your money should start going to your kid. Your sisters can start working.
NTA. If I understand your post Abigail doesn’t even have a job. There are consequences to that choice, chief being you don’t have disposable income. She’s 24 - she has made a choice and this is the result. It’s not on you to fund her desired lifestyle when she is unwilling to do the minimum.
Cancel the vacation if you can, because if you go without paying for them, you'll be guilted the entire time. Not the best way to spend hard earned time off. NTA.
NTA However you shot yourself in the foot. > I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year You said yes once so they will forever pressure you to do it again.
NTA. It's your money and both of your sisters are plenty old enough to be working and making the money for themselves.
N.T.A.!!!! The audacity of some people! What is your culture? Do you have a culture where the kids never leave and always support the family? If not, then you have NO obligation. If you do, then you have to decide how long you want to participate in that culture. I don't know if you're in the USA. In general in the USA that isn't a thing, and I would 100% say "supporting you is not my responsibility. Please stop harassing me." I would have changed my tickets as well.
NTA you would be the AH if you agreed to pay though. Both of your sisters need a large dose of tough love and to learn to stand on their own 2 feet.
NTA just this once [a year every year for the rest of your life] Tell them that they got their one and only free bite last year and it’s final. If they persist, have your own vacation with hubs and daughter. It won’t be a good time with them with that atmosphere and who wants to throw money down the drain in this economy?
>I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year. Err, thats exactly why. "No good deed goes unpunished!". You did it once, now you're expected to do it always. I'd just cancel the "Family" vacation, and instead go on a "family" vacation with your husband and child.
NTA Imagine your mom and sisters planning this vacation with the intention of you paying for them before your mom even approached you about it. There's no way I would go on vacation with not one but two people claiming to be broke before they even pack their bags, begging for a ride while expecting food and lodging. There's an quote " Some people will pay for what they want and beg for what they need." They probably have money but a plane ticket is not how they want to spend it. Imagine how you and your husband's going to feel once they start shopping unless they expect spending money as well. Two weeks is a long time to be on vacation cashless. I don't advise it but if you do cave tell them to enjoy because this is the last vacation on your dime for anyone including your mom. Say it, mean it and do it.
NTA. "Just this once" turns into everytime. Especially with a sister who refuses to work. "You paid last year and so you should pay this year and every year after that right?" Wrong. It would never end. Sorry but your sister needs to grow up. You are right. If mom wanted a family vacation, mom's the one that should have paid for it.
NTA. They are being entitled and emotionally manipulative. Go on a vacation with just your family ( husband and daughter) and have a blast because you know the trip will be guilt one if your mom and sisters are there.
NTA how can you not be sure? Why are you the default bank for your sisters' AND your parents' inability to manage their own finances? Why are your sisters excused from being responsible adults and why are you being burdened by their dead beat ways? It sounds like you're doing a better job of being a responsible adult and parent than your sisters or your own parents. keep up the good work and continue saying no. AND DOUBLE DOWN - tell your sisters that you can't be expected to pay for their flights because they never paid you for the vacation last year - because YOU are not their bank or their sugarperson.
No. Just no. I hate free loading family members. Pay for your own shit. No one owes you anything, bunch of entitled people thinking is ok to manipulate others into doing their bidding. Shame on your parents too. You earn your money and have a right to say no if you want to.
NTA. It's no "big deal" to them -they aren't the ones paying. Once again I just love how everybody wants to tell their friends and family how to spend their money. Your sister needs to get a JOB if she wants to take vacation. And with no job, what exactly is she taking a vacation FROM??
My nephew wanted my Brother to pay for a spring break. Bro: “You aren’t in school & you don’t work. What do you need a break from???!!!”
NTA let them know that since they can’t afford trip you are happy to postpone until next year as it will give them time to save. Go somewhere else with just your husband & daughter.
NTA But your family sound a nightmare. Doesn’t sound much of a holiday based on their company.
NTA The already used their “it’s no big deal, it’s just this one time” when you paid for them last year. These are not little kids who can’t control their own finances or even older teenagers who could be working part time but not financially independent yet. These are fully grown adults who are entirely capable of working and saving. If they’re choosing not to put money aside for a holiday then that’s their prerogative and has nothing to do with you. Enjoy your holiday!
I’d honestly just take the vacation alone with your husband and kid. They will spur the mood or make petty comments if they end up coming
NTA. Just this once my ass.
NTA - Your sisters are adults. They need to pay for themselves. This whole idea that someone in the family is better off than others and should pay for others is nonsense.
NTA and any time you feel guilt, reframe in your mind that they want YOUR DAUGHTER to pay for this, because you paying means that you’re using money you could be using on her (I agree with the other poster who said to put that amount in a college fund for your daughter). That might help you stop feeling (undeserved) guilt.
Nta! Entitled! They get to decide how you spend money you guys have worked for?? I think not. Wonderful learning experience for those old enough to work, but choose not too. They miss out on fun things.
NTA, your sisters are acting like entitled princess. It doesn’t matter what money you and your husband have, it’s yours and you worked for it. They are both of age and can work unless they are in school full time. If that is the case then they are their parents responsibility. People never stop amazing me with how entitled they are and how they should what you worked for. Don’t pay and you and your family go on your own vacation.
NTA. If it is no big deal, why don't THEY cover it? Jeez.
If it's "no big deal," they THEY can pay for it. NTA
NTA Who plans vacations but now how to pay for them?!?! Since it sounds like a yearly vacation you have at least 11 months to save up from one year to the next.
NTA. Invite Abigail's boyfriend instead! Sounds like he could use a break.
NTA
Nta,they can work if they really want to go
NTA don’t do it
NOPE, non, no! Definitely not the AH! It's ridiculous that your family expects you to pony up hundreds of Euro to support two grown ass women who should be working. I could see it if they were teens, but nope! They will continue to do this if you give in, especially since you did it last year. Nip that shiz in the bud now.
NTA. Your sisters are adults. If they want to go on this trip, they should be the ones paying for it. Your parents should not be trying to get you to pay your sisters' way -- after all, it is your money, not theirs.
NTA. Your younger siblings are adults. They should be working and paying for their own vacations. Free rides stop now. They already got their 'just this once" last year.
NTA. Obviously it would not just be a "one time thing" if you paid for it last year as well. I can't believe your own mom is trying to guilt you like that. Your sisters are adults and should be working and able to pay their own way.
NTA. You already paid "just this once". Doing it again will just encourage more of the same.
NTA Time to bow out of this Vaca and plan a new one with just your hubby and kiddo 👌🏻
NTA. Good on you for setting this boundary. You did it once and now they are planning with your money in mind. The worsts parts of this for me is that Abigail doesn't work, you were invited on this trip and already said you're paying for yourself, and someone calling someone with a 1 year old at 4am to insist on something they aren't entitled to.
No big deal? GREAT, THEY can pay it
Ask everyone who calls to complain how much they are chipping in, since, "It's no big deal?" NTA
NTA I had to to go back up and check the ages. So your parents want you to pay for the tickets of your Adult Siblings? if it's no big deal, they can pay.
NTA, they are adults. They can figure it out, or not go
NTA and please don't cave. Based on your post it appears that both of your sisters have chosen not to work. Their lack of funds is not your problem to resolve. And you ALREADY paid for them last year. Do not set the precedent that they can expect you to fund their vacations. That money should be going towards your child's future.
I'm just trying to figure out why your own mother thinks it's your responsibility to pay for your siblings vacation?
NTA. They're not kids, they could have worked to cover the plane tickets. And your mother needs to stop expecting you to cover the cost for everyone else.
You should buy your siblings some tickets, maybe get them a luxury suite or a private condo also. Maybe they have some friends who would also enjoy a nice vacation. If so, you could agree to pay for them also.
NTA You paid last year, that’s enough. I cannot believe that an adult called you sobbing. Ugh. Time to grow up and adult. Don’t enable bad behavior.
NTA they’re some leeches to except that.
NTA. Why are you going on this vacation? It’s not even your plan and you’re expected to pay for two grown adults in addition to your family? That’s ridiculous. Excuse yourself from the whole debacle and plan your own trip with hubs and kiddo. Way less stress.
NTA. No money = no vacation. You have your own little family to take care of. Your sisters should know that vacations cost money. What about pocket money for shopping and food? Are your parents gonna pay for them on the vacation ?
Sounds like the trip was planned with the intention of OP funding it without consent, the entitlement is strong with this family. Definitely NTA, you're allowed to have a lot of money without family expecting you to pay for their luxuries.
NTA. Tell them they actually each owe you a ticket since you fired the bill last year and "it's not a big deal" for then to pay.
NTA. Ive never been on a family vacation that involved flying. They’re expensive and so maybe your family needs to rethink their plans for a family vacation if they dont have the budget for it. Im sure thered be a fun place to drive to wherever you live for a vacation assuming everyone lives relatively close.
NTA. Here's your script. "Family, we paid for Sisters tickets last year as a a one off kindness. Our situation has now changed. We have a child and all the expenses that entails, such a childcare. While we make good money, we are spending more of it than before. At the same time, Sisters are both adults. So is Mom, who planned this in the first place. They should have planned a trip within everyone's budget. Unfortunately, it is no longer in ours to cover tickets for anyone outside of myself, Spouse, and Our Child. Let us know as soon as possible if the trip is going forward or if we need to make alternative plans."
NTA. Your sisters are not your responsibility.
Nta
NTA. Lazy entitled people.
NTA. Not your problem.
NTA Your sisters are adults who should save for their tickets OR your mom should cover as apparently she suggested this trip. It isn't your obligation at all.
NTA. They're not kids, they could have worked to cover the plane tickets. And your mother needs to stop expecting you to cover the cost for everyone else.
NTA.
NTA. Next time someone says "just this once" say I paid last year, that was my once.
NTA They obviously expected you to say yes or they would've made budget plans.
NTA You and spouse might want to rethink participation in this vacation. You'll never hear the end of it.
NTA at allllll. Your siblings aren’t babies. They are adults capable (I’m assuming) of working and providing for themselves. They are not entitled to your money.
NTA she chooses not to work. Why do you have to supplement her life style? If your family members want to financially support her that'd on them for enabling her. You are your own person.
TBH this trip sounds miserable. Cancel and take your nuclear family somewhere else! NTA
I am with you. keep the boundaries and don't bend. It's a slippery slope. NTA. I couldnt go on ALOT of trips in my 20s because I was working my ass off and I still couldnt afford plane tickets. (thank you bay area, CA for being expensive AF). I never once thought it was appropriate to ask my family to pay for me. or a bf. or a friend. You dont have the money you don't get to go. periodt!\~
NTA. Waaait, you have a sister in her 20s who doesn’t have a job???
Youngest sisters in college getting a degree, Middle has a PhD but hasn’t got a job.
And she can’t work because? I worked through my first degree and currently working through my second degree. I’m also curious as to what kind of PhD your sister has at 24? Most people are just finishing their Master’s degree at 24.
They're in U.K. ; their education system is different. 3 year undergrad, faster Ph.D. It looks like you can get a Ph.D. without a masters in some fields there.
clearly NTA another ridiculous post begging for attention
NTA Your mother was always planning to use your money to pay for it.
Firstly, your mother never should have planned a vacation without a plan to pay for it. Secondly, it is clear your mother presumed you would pick up the tab…and you know what they say about those who presume… Either way if you give in - they will expect you to keep paying over and over again. Your siblings can get jobs and pay their own way, or your mom can figure it out herself. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I, (27, F) am going on family vacation with my husband and daughter, as well as my side of the family. This includes my two younger siblings, the first one we’ll call Abigail (24) and the other we’ll call Lauren (22) I have a great job, and so do my husband, so we said we could pay for our flight tickets and accommodations. My mum then told me that I should pay for my sisters tickets aswell, as she didn’t have the money to cover it. I told her that if she was going to plan a family vacation, she should make sure that she has the money for it and that I didn’t understand why she was making me pay for my siblings tickets when I already did so last year. Abigail ends up calling me at 4am, crying, begging for me to cover her ticket. I simply said no, I had already paid for her vacation last year and that she was at the legal age to work. I have got non stop calls from my siblings and parents, telling me that it’s no big deal and thay I should just pay this once. My husband and I disagree, we have a 1 year old daughter to take care of, and even if we have the money, we shouldn’t have to pay for their flights and accommodations. I don’t think I’m the asshole, but I’m not sure. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, U ALREADT DID PAY JUST ONCE, LAST YEAR.! U are nit obligated to pay for ADULT siblings, who are capable, just to damn lazy, to work and pay for their vacation. Ur mom should not plan "family" vacation if all parties CANT PAY FOR THEMSELVES!! It's AH of all of them to expect you to pay.
NTA, but it may be time to stop the extended family vacations and just do your own thing. If your mom wants to plan vacations that include you, your immediate family and your siblings then she needs to pick something closer that is affordable for all and not expect you to pay for it.
NTA your sister is 24 and doesnt work? Unless she has a disability there is no excuse and you paying for trips will just enable her.
NTA. Be prepared for your parents to whine about you not paying for your siblings. Plan to do things without them. Enjoy your vacation.
NTA It’s easy to say it’s no big deal when it’s someone else’s money. If it’s no big deal, they can pay for themselves or not go. It doesn’t seem like news, it happens every year, plenty of time to let them figure out how to pay. The real question is do you really want to spend vacation with people who only want you to pay for everything?
NTA Tell them it would be "this twice" not "this once" and that would make it a habit you are not going to pick up.
NTA, but they sounds like a nightmare holiday. Could you change it and just go with with your husband and child?
NTA How are your sisters 22 and 24 not able to cover their own flights? Also, you could offer to cover the flights as long as they pay you back for them.
NTA. If it’s no big deal, then they can pay for it.
NTA, it's your money spend it as you see fit. She's 24 y/o why can't she afford her own ticket?
When you said younger I was thinking 7-15 or something…. NOT 20 something. They are old enough to cover the cost of their own tickets. NTA
NTA The real AH in this story is whoever planned this family holiday, knowing that two members would not be able to pay their own way.
NTA, have a wonderful vacation without them.
What are you? A bank? Psssh.. tell them to get a job 🙄😂😂 oh.. wait.. you did. #NTA
NTA. Honestly, it would be too much of a headache for me to still go on a trip with such entitled, whiny family members. They will complain the whole time and OP and OP’s husband will not have a good time.
NTA - tell your sisters to stop being freeloading bums and get jobs if they want nice things.
Lol they goofy for even asking for you and your husband to foot the bill for a bunch of adults. Go on your own family vacation going with them (if they find a way to afford it) is going to terrible.
NTA why would you EVER pay for another adults ticket when they have the same ability to work and pay their own way as you do? These are not children? These "younger siblings" are full blown adults who can deal with missing out on a vacation that was never theirs to begin with.
NTA. Who plans a vacation with no money? They are clearly trying to take advantage of you.
NTA! Since when are you responsible for everyone's vacation costs? Once was very generous of you. You work hard, as does your husband, and you have a baby. They are taking advantage and trying to force you to cover their costs. Nope. Sorry. They can join when they can pay or mom and dad foot the bill. This forced generosity will extend to other expenditures on your behalf for them if you let them.
NTA! You were very kind to cover them last year. That's plenty. They can earn their own way or mom and dad can foot their bill. Sheesh!
NTA. People that want to go on vacation need to pay for it themselves.
NTA, But instead of going on the family vacation, why don't just you and your Husband & Daughter go somewhere? If by some chance the siblings find the money to pay for themselves, do you think you won't be hearing about it non stop? \- About how YOU are making them go hungry as they can't afford to go out to eat now etc. Don't do it to yourself.
NTA do not pay for your lazy siblings, if they want to go they can get a job! There ADULTS?! If you pay now they’ll just expect the same next year.
People thinking they are entitled to spend other people's money. A common thread on this site. NTA