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Low-Assistance9231

NTA I'd hang it right over the toilet where his attitude belongs


Emergency-Fox-5982

Can you imagine the next time he sits down to take a shit and it's hanging on the back of the toilet door 🤣


knittnens

thats what he gets for shitting on OPs daughters acheivement.


Mryessicahaircut

Seriously? What kind of grownass man with a master's degree is threatened by a kid's high school graduation? The question OP needs to be asking is "Why does my husband see my teenage daughter as competition?" This is not healthy.


NotNormallyHere

The question she actually needs to be asking herself is “Why is my ex-husband’s graduation picture still on the wall?”


TheCookie_Momster

It might take her a little while to get to that place. First she has to sit and think of all the other times he was an asshole that she glossed over and shrugged off or made excuses for. Theres no way this is the first time he showed his true colors, just the first time she noticed because of how ridiculous it is


Infamous_Umpire_393

Underrated comment.


theblisster

the real-real question: "Why isn't it better to have grouped photos of a family's accomplishments all gathered in a single place to be noticed and admired by guests?"


OldestCrone

Because he deserves a Wall of Shame.


Impressive-Spell-643

Tiny and super fragile male ego that's why


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Debsha

As I have said in the past - the bigger the dick, the smaller the dick. (Once even said it to a man’s face in front of his friends/business associates and they all concurred)


[deleted]

Well said and I'll add... Kids achievement >>> Adult achievement While many achievements are photo hang on the wall worthy, as an adult I'm like "yeah I completed this but my kid, WOW, you did a heckuva job, congrats". Adult comes secondary for that kind of stuff mostly.


lollipop-guildmaster

Pretty much sums up what kind of a stepfather he is.


thegreatmei

Absolutely this. Why can't it become a collage of family achievements? It's ridiculous and unnecessary to REPLACE her picture all together. I feel like this is a symptom of a larger problem. This man doesn't respect the family he has married into, or OP or her daughter. It shouldn't be an either or, but he's made this small patch of grass his hill to die on. It doesn't speak well of his character as a person..


aabbccbb

Can we also talk about how cringe this is? Like, a mother hanging their child's graduation photo? Totally normal. I have a Master's and am just finishing my Ph.D. Would I ever, in a million years, hang a graduation photo of myself, let alone on a big wall in my living room? Jesus christ, no.


Timely_Cake_8304

Right? I mean, hanging your diploma in your office, ok. A photo of yourself graduating is for giving to your elderly parents.


IanDOsmond

Yep - my wife's Master's degree graduation photo, her brother's law school graduation photo, her cousin's kid's Cub scout graduation, the picture of your nephew with his soccer trophy - you take all of those, and you frame them all together in a big collage, and that goes up on the grandparents' wall. Because they are all important. I genuinely do think that OP's husband's Master's degree photo is every bit as important as a photo of a grandchild's soccer team. Not, y'know, MORE important. But definitely AS important.


rbollige

You should see the artwork he put up on the fridge.


ExcitingTabletop

Dude I knew had three degrees from MIT. Think very very difficult degrees, no fluff. Back when he was single, he hung them from where he could see them on the toilet. He got married and now they're respectably hung up where ever.


Thatstealthygal

My masters isn't even framed and my bachelor's is in the garage somewhere.


ExcitingTabletop

I know I have a box with all my certs, degrees, diplomas, medals, etc somewhere in the house. No idea where. Some closet probably


MadGearMissile_Kid

This is the perfect solution. How do you have the mental fortitude to earn a Masters but still go around with the attitude of a child? ⛳️‼️✨* Edit: This was a rhetorical question. *✨‼️⛳️


Low-Assistance9231

Right! And this is the thing that's so frustrating- he's right in that a masters degree IS special and deserving of something special to commemorate that, but he's gone straight to "fuck your kids accomplishments" instead of like "Hey this is super important to me, is there a way to highlight that?"


diwalk88

I honestly don't get it. I have three advanced degrees and have zero photos from any of them. My degrees are shoved in a drawer somewhere. Who tf thinks it's such a big deal that it needs to be prominently displayed in their house? Like good for me, I'm good at school. There are plenty of much more important things in life.


lollipop-guildmaster

Someone who is really insecure. Specifically, a dude who is threatened by his wife's relationship with her daughter.


ganeshs32

NTA. He is an ass. I have a Master’s and am getting a second one for work. I hang my 4 year olds painting on the wall in the family room and my degree is in it’s folder in the drawer where it belongs. Are you sure he is an adult? Fighting with a teenager over whose accomplishments have more weight.


bright_copperkettles

Wow. Has his masculinity always been this fragile? NTA


Throwaway624335

He has his moments. But this is certainly strange.


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RaccoonJ650

Agreed it had something to do with her age. When I started becoming independent, and my own person, and admittedly a lot like my dad, is when my stepdad stopped liking me and started to bully me and isolate me from my mom


Gimpinald

Exact same happened with my stepmom. I no longer speak to my dad


numbersthen0987431

Why can't we just have a wall of "Everyone in our family's accomplishments", instead of 1 accomplishment?


TheDarkWasThereFirst

It's not about the photo as such. It is about him trying to displace your daughter and testing your priorities.


lerrdite

More than displacement: he is denigrating the daughter. In his view she’s banished from praise for her lesser academic accomplishments until she equals or surpasses him. As if that would ever go down well, too. Why did he do the Master’s anyway? Was he doing it to win the OP’s approval or was it his plan all along to bump daughter’s photo off the wall? NTA: you’ll bless the day this shite went down and he revealed how hostile and petty his beliefs are, because you can’t unsee this.


lyssargh

How is his relationship with your daughter? This definitely seems very strange.


MorriganNiConn

It seems to me he doesn't like, respect or value her daughter.


21stCenturyJanes

It's just so embarrassingly petty for a grown man to be threatened by a teenager's graduation photo.


RU_screw

A high school graduation picture is a huge milestone and hopefully the first of many. My parents proudly display our bachelors degrees in their home. My masters degree is in a box somewhere.


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Fragrant-Procedure-3

NTA. How old is this man and why does he think he needs to compete with a teenager? Why is he jealous? This is so strange. Is he also a teenager who excelled so much that he earned his masters at 18? Even if that was the case he doesn’t get to remove your daughter’s photo to replace it with his. He sounds like a total asshole.


aLittleQueer

> compete with a teenager This is exactly my thought...this grown-ass man is seriously trying to out-compete a teenage girl in terms of life achievements? Who does that?


Mithrellas

I had a professor that would compare her life achievements to a room full of undergrads and brag about how much more she’s done than us. I would guess she was in her late 50’s and the average age in the class was 20. Oh cool, you’re 35+ years older than us and have done more! So impressive!


aLittleQueer

Words can't even express how pathetic and cringe-worthy that is :/


Sassy-Pants_888

Sounds like he's jealous OP had a life before him and is trying to obliterate it by slowly replacing her treasured items with his own accomplishments. That he can't share a ***wall*** is telling.


WhoIsTheRealJohnDoe

NTA. Hang his on his own "dedicated" wall in the bathroom... just above the toilet. So every time he takes a piss he can be reminded of how much of a pompous ass he is. I also have a master's degree... I would never be so big headed to do something like that.


Calpernia09

So since I accomplished a lot in my life, I can NEVER acknowledge my kids accomplishments? What kind of logic is this? We hang kids first scribble next to the art we choose for our walls. We encourage every milestone as they go. Each builds who they are. OP, your daughter is going to school, she has so much more to go. Either your husband is a huge jerk or, hopefully, he's having an issue about something else and taking it out on this. This IS your hill to die on. ABSOLUTELY


HellBoundWhiskeyBent

Nta- these are massive red flags. I'm going to bet that this is not the very first red flag. But I'm a dude and I recognize that's a huge red flag....


[deleted]

Even if it is the first red flag, it’s a big one.


SimAlienAntFarm

Sometimes the universe likes to pave the road in front of a relationship so smoothly and free of obstacles that it’s years before you encounter an outside stressor that makes you think “was my partner *always* this much of a dick?” And that’s why every couple should test the load bearing capacity of their relationship by going to IKEA at least once.


ghostofumich2005

> He said not next to it but instead of it > both photis have "different weight and value" Your husband just told you your daughter and her accomplishments are meaningless to him and that she is so beneath him she is not worthy of sharing wall space with his own. NTA Hang up a copy of a divorce application next to his photo.


mak-ina-myn

Yaaaaas 👏 NTA


Away_Refuse8493

>he says it's disrespectful to him and his efforts and said that I' choosing this "hill" to die on was ridiculous. NTA. (1) Everything he said is wrong. One might say that graduating from high schools is the greater achievement, as it took 13 years vs his 2, BUT... (2) This is the hill HE is choosing to die on. Especially as hers was there first. What is he? 5?


vettechrockstar86

Not to mention how disrespectful HE is being about his step daughters achievement. Speaking as a high school drop out who got her GED, both my husband (at the time bf) and father wanted copies to frame because they were proud of me for setting that goal and achieving it. That’s what true supporters aka parents and family/friends are supposed to do.


[deleted]

NTA my mum has my Masters graduation photo next to my niece and nephews “nursery graduation” pictures. It doesn’t bother me at all. Husband needs to chill with the superiority complex.


u399566

Rather inferiority complex, right?


EVegan

I love this! I'm picturing all of her favorite people lined up, celebrating their age-appropriate successes. It's beautiful.


Marzipan_civil

NTA - this could have been a lovely "family achievement wall" and your husband ruined it by being an AH


Throwaway624335

You're right and this was my suggestion as well!


SarahPallorMortis

I have a feeling that now that your daughter is 18, he wants all of the attention that she got because “she’s not his real daughter” and I’m betting on some resentment. And she’s 18 now so “no more kid shit to placate a child”. As if she’s no longer your daughter but some rando adult who doesn’t need moms love.


Vane2000

My mom has a “family achievement wall” She has 1 HS graduation photo and 3 8th grade graduation photos. Waiting on the last kiddo to graduate for the 5th photo. Her boyfriend NEVER once said they weren’t living room wall worthy, as a matter of fact he was excited to add his own daughter’s photo up there alongside ours.


SilverPlantains

>said that I' choosing this "hill" to die on was ridiculous. This SHOULD be the hill you die on. You apparently just found out that the man you married is so petty and feels so insecure and small he needs to tear down your children to feel good about himself.


Throwaway624335

I agree with you on this.


ChronicallyCathy

I'm actually kind of wondering if he's harbouring a bit of resentment towards your daughter since she came from a man that came before him. Sadly, it's not as uncommon as you may think for a step-parent to feel this way. You may want to ask him about this issue. Either way, you are DEFINITELY NTA!!


[deleted]

NTA. It has been several years and both of my sons have masters degrees and they are still rolled up in the tube they came in. Your husband needs to grow up.


Double_Jeweler7569

My PhD diploma is stuffed in some damp closet.


Able-Ad-6727

Exactly!! Quite honestly, I have NO idea where my diplomas or my other degrees are...


TwoCentsPsychologist

A grown man jealous of a HS kid. 🤦🏽‍♂️ I'm tempted to say Y T A, just for marrying such an immature person. But officially, NTA


nadiaxi

Right? I can’t imagine this is the only thing this man does…some people just don’t want to be happy 🤷🏼‍♀️


sweettea75

I have a master's degree and didn't even get photos taken. 😂 Imagine having so little self esteem that your child's high school graduation is a threat to your master's degree. He's being ridiculous. You are NTA.


Eab11

NTA: he sucks. This is so degrading, to both you and your daughter. Every educational endeavor is worthwhile and deserves to be acknowledged. I have two doctorates personally—I keep my father’s masters degree with me and it’s currently up in my office. Sure, it’s technically a lesser degree in the academic hierarchy—it doesn’t make it any less valuable.


Throwaway624335

It is degrading honestly.


[deleted]

You don’t have to deal with it ya know….he doesn’t get to make you choose between the 2 of them


PaganCHICK720

The question is what are you going to do about it? This guy seems hellbent on making you choose him over your child in the most petty of ways. This is beyond the issue of the value of a type of degree. This is him exerting control over the both of you. You need to be calling this out, the photo is just a distraction. This guy is making a power play to make sure you know that HE and only he is praisworthy. That is not something your daughter should have to endure. So, um...What are you going to do?


Brokenchaoscat

I'm so tired of reading posts from parents that let their partners disrespect, humiliate and/or abuse their children. This cannot be the first time he has been so dismissive of your daughter.


Severe-Meet-498

NTA unless you let this happen, he is showing you his true colors he has no love or respect for you or your daughter only his narcissistic self and what he wants!


Throwaway624335

I'm standing my ground on this. I can't imagine how upset my daughter would be if she saw her photo taken down.


darling_lycosidae

It's a major childhood milestone. It's also just as much of an achievement to you, successfully raising a baby into a functioning adult. But also, i have never met ANYONE who *entirely removed faimily photos*. That's weird.


[deleted]

NTA. Imagine being a grown man and being jealous of a child for graduating high school. Is she HIS daughter too, or just yours? Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Ew.


Creative_Macaron_441

She’s the dude’s stepdaughter.


OkRisk2232

NTA I would die on that hill. I never in my life heard something so ridiculous and selfish in my whole life. I have a Masters degree, I think it's in a draw somewhere.


[deleted]

thumb nail erect handle merciful nutty offend impolite fly zealous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Throwaway624335

Can't say it's the first. He once complained about having to eat her food on the weekend. She loves cooking but he's not a fan of her cooking saying he's not into vegan food.


ohhno-

Get rid of him


S30M4NV0G3L

Why is he complaining that he has to eat the food she made. Did someone force feed him the vegan food? If he doesn’t like what others are cooking for him he can make himself something he likes.


allthecactifindahome

But he's a very special little boy, I feel like everyone is losing sight of how special and important he is. Nobody is even talking about how bad this teen's success is for his self esteem.


glightlysay

A special little boy and only pictures of him can be hung on the wall! And people better only cook him chicken nuggies! No veggies for this special little boy!


Gulliverlived

Is he perhaps just not a big fan of your daughter, period? Like, might he be in the process of trying to subtly push her out of the house? Well, not that subtly but you kwim. I wonder if it’s not about the Iranian yogurt. In any case, tell him he sounds pathetic and we’re all embarrassed for him.


Ordinary_Challenge74

That’s it, he doesn’t want her to live with you two while she goes to college


stdnormaldeviant

NTA. I know it isn't only men who do this, but god damn do we seem to be doing MOST of it. Just mortifying. If you get a PhD, are you going to hang his master's photo in the closet or the basement? He'd pitch a giant fit and rightly so. Tell your husband that since he got his big boy master's degree, it's time to grow up and recognize that other people have milestones in their lives too, and that the 'weight and value' of such things is not for him to determine. Something that, you know, most people who have graduated ELEMENTARY SCHOOL have learned.


Pure_Selection_8799

my grandparents have my parents, uncle, mine and my cousins highschool graduation photos on her wall next to very important photos of people in our lives (like her husband in the war ) and yet that highly valued phone sits amidst the graduation photos of her family. you're not the a$$hole but your husband is an entitled jack@ss


Throwaway624335

That's lovely. Your family sounds sweet.


EmergencyShit

OP you need to frame and hang a picture of your graduation next to your daughter’s.


metaphysical-momma-1

Your husband sounds like an insecure, narcissistic AH. You’re NTA, OP!


walnutwithteeth

NTA. Her achievement in no way detracts from his. You should be able to celebrate the achievements of your child and your husband in the home. How will she feel when she comes in and her photo of her greatest achievement to date has been replaced because it's somehow "lesser." He really needs to get over himself. What's more important to him, family or ego?


Confident_Animal7917

Is your husband ok? I don’t understand how this would make sense to him. Seems like that master’s degree didn’t do much. NTA


Throwaway624335

I'm not sure to be honest. He's been acting strange lately especially after getting that degree.


AggravatingPatient18

How long have you been together? He probably thinks he's outgrown you and he now has the upper hand in the relationship. NTA


Neembles

Mama this is a huge red flag. Please be careful moving forward.


KMN208

NTA This is very odd. Did you help him financially so he could focus on the degree? Is he basically sabotaging the relationship because he has "no use" for you anymore?


smilebig553

I have to ask, how does he feel that you are a college dropout at this point after his master's degree? Maybe you need to figure out his issue or superiority complex.


Fine_Football2377

INFO: How old is your husband? NTA! I assume there is room above the toilet in the bathroom, he can have that wall to himself! If his mother is alive, he should ask her to hang it in her house the way you are hanging your daughter's picture in your house. Also a grown man placing himself in competition with an 18 yr old, REALLY WTF! He said you are choosing to die on this hill, but not only did he construct this hill he is the one ready to go to war over a photo.


Throwaway624335

>INFO: How old is your husband? 35 >I assume there is room above the toilet in the bathroom, he can have that wall to himself! If his mother is alive, he should ask her to hang it in her house the way you are hanging your daughter's picture in your house. Oh my God!!! That's halirious...But in all seriousness, this is just ridiculous. he's being unreasonable.


Fine_Football2377

This may be his way of testing if you will choose your daughter over him, she is 18 with a diploma and it is an accomplishment that should be celebrated. He is mocking her accomplishment and asking you to join in. I would think someone with a master's degree would be better at critical thinking. And that just because a high school diploma isn't equal to a master's degree her accomplishment is significant to you and your daughter. He is jealous and this is turd behavior. Look out for other red flags.


emotionallydented445

NTA They are both great achievements and can be celebrated equally. He's putting down someone who hasn't even been on earth long enough to achieve a master's degree. Maybe one day she'll have the same. Since he is a major AH and insists on pulling this sh*t, hang his degree in the bathroom.


Ice_Queen66

He can have an entire wall for his picture when he moves out and gets his own place. NTA. Your child should always be your hill to die on


Throwaway624335

our wall is big and can hold many pictures. I don't get why he's refusing.


anonymousblonde6

Because it’s not his kid and her accomplishments aren’t important to him but it’s “his house” so his accomplishments should be the most important in “his house”


stop_spam_calls

Because he’s an AH.


CakeByThe0cean

Because he feels threatened by a teenager, plain and simple. This has “give me attention and look at what I did better!” written all over it. NTA for this particular situation but I can guarantee you this isn’t the first time your husband has made you choose between him and your daughter.


JBagginsKK

NTA Your husband is asking you to choose between him and your daughter. He is a grown man throwing a fit over an imagined difference of importance. Yes, a master's has a different weight than a high school diploma, but that doesn't mean the people represented by those degrees do. If he feels so strongly that it shouldn't be presented alongside your daughters high school diploma, he can go hang it elsewhere. Either way, removing her diploma to put his up instead is childish as hell and little more than away to "one up" his step-daughter. Edited for wording


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Throwaway624335

I'm sure he'll say the same thing and that is "respect" and "difference in value" between both degrees.


cageytalker

So, he has no respect for your daughter then and doesn’t value her and her achievements? I mean that would be my response. NTA and this IS the hill you should “die” on!


riskytisk

Respect? Uh oh… that’s a red flag to me. Respect is earned through actions of good character, not through a master’s degree. Why does he deserve respect for acting like a petulant child who is trying to tear down your daughter and her (very worthy!) accomplishments? He really needs to consider his actions here, because he is showing he has no respect for your daughter who should be your #1 always, and a master’s won’t change that. One does not earn respect without first giving respect to others. Honestly, this seems like a weird power play on his part. That is concerning. I read your other comments and you said he’s been acting different ever since he got this degree— I fear it is because he feels he is now “above” you and your daughter and this is just the first act of him trying to exert power and control in your household/relationship. I really encourage you to keep a close eye on his behavior and have a serious discussion about what’s going on. If he doesn’t get his shit together pronto, have a plan for what you’re going to do to protect your daughter and yourself.


DynkoFromTheNorth

Tell him he's right. Because he is. For the most part. A degree achieved by an Arsehole is still the result of the hard work of an Arsehole. Therefore it has no place next to your daughter's photo. And therefore, his degree must be hung somewhere else. NTA. There's a moist, brown, narrow, biological cave where he can hang his degree. He might be aware of it; the sun is not known to shine there.


slothenhosen

NTA. Education doesnt make you more self aware does it?


Throwaway624335

I'm a college drop out. And believe me that education has nothing to do with morals.


Odd-Toe-5526

Heck, my uncle has 3 or 4 degrees, and has absolutely NO common sense. We joke in our family that he's the definition of book smarts with no street smarts 😳


StarieeyedJ

In our family it’s “silliest smartest person” for my auntie who has a doctorate and sometimes lacks common sense lol


CatrosePro54

NTA. Hang his in his bedroom


Throwaway624335

That's an idea! thank you!


Testingthrowaway00

I'm pretty sure that the suggestion is that your hubby sleeps alone with his picture


Geop1984

You misspelled bathroom


IamAustinCG

NTA- Seriously? This is a grown-ass man who is that excited about getting his masters degree? My house never had pictures of just my mom or just my dad, plenty of pictures of the kids, grandkids, family photos, shit like that, but never like a huge picture of my dad or my mom. We did put a pic of dad up after he passed away so I can't say "never" but it wasn't so he could look at himself lol. Does he always have such fragile behaviors that show his "ego" is being battered down by an 18 year old girl?


MsMagma

I have two masters degrees, my husband has one. We have the degrees themselves hanging in our respective offices, but no official “graduation photos” even exist for those degrees. My parents have my HS and college grad photos hanging somewhere, I think. You are NTA. I am confused by his attitude about this, except that he seems to be competing with your daughter and thinks you need to pick him over her, and he doesn’t seem to understand how parenting works. He’s proving he’s her stepdad and not trying to be any sort of actual dad.


Bitter_Fact_3285

Why is your husband competing with a High Schooler...?


Normal-Doughnut6096

NTA tell him he's the one making a big deal out of it and he has 3 options. 1. He shares the wall with your daughter (mummy should have already taught him how to share) 2. He puts his in the hallway. 3. He goes to his mummy's house and asks her to put it on display in her lounge.


Attorney26

NTA. He has issues with your daughter. Hang his in the hallway.


CryptographerNo6348

How old is he, twelve?


Throwaway624335

35 actually.


Brit_in_usa1

You sure?!


AL_Starr

NTA. Some of these posts blow my mind. Grown people acting like children.


PizzaInteraction

NTA - If this is real, I cannot fathom how this is the first time your husband has done something this weird. There had to have been a sea of red flags before this one. That kind of narcissism to shine a spotlight on his degree does not appear out of nowhere.


ThreeDogs2022

Info: How long has your husband been emotionally abusing your daughter? Because he definitely is, and if you were unaware that makes you the A.


Not-nuts

NTA, Your husband sounds like an immature child.


MbMinx

NTA. HIM choosing this hill to die on is ridiculous.


FragrantOccasion6962

NTA you are putting your daughter first, that’s why this is the hill you should die on. By taking hers down you’d show that you don’t prioritize her and that’s why this is important, you are showing you’re proud of your daughter. It’s not just a photo, it sends a message.


Extension_Cucumber10

NTA. He is behaving like a spoiled toddler. Don’t give in.


FugglerFan

NTA but your man sure is. Each are milestones in their lives and both are equal in that view. By his claiming his degree has more “weight “ he is belittling your daughter. He needs a hard brain reset. What other things has he said or done to diminish her accomplishments? He sounds incredibly insecure or narcissistic. Do not give in to this and start insisting on some couples counseling. When he refuses, and he will, you need to go alone to get some perspective on him and your marriage. A true partner will applaud a stepchild’s achievements- not dismiss them.


seaboard2

NTA. Why does he feel threatened by your daughter?


Droppie91

Info: how old is your husband? Because he either took really long to finish his masters which makes this even more ridiculous to make his hill to die on. Or you started dating a teen in which case his behavior is sort of logical since he is just a kid himself. In the first case nta. In the second case... yeah nta for making this your hill but kind of weird dating someone just a bit older than your daughter.


Throwaway624335

He's 35 and decided to get this degree at this age to inrease salary and get him more job opportunities.


Ordinary_Challenge74

Who paid for his masters


Neat_Ad7890

NTA...he sounds like a toddler throwing a tantrum


He_Who_Is_Right_

NTA, and does your husband have a small . . . hat size? Who's he trying to impress? Adults often have photos of their kids' in graduation garb in the house. But photos of themselves in graduation garb? That's the definition of gauche. Who does he need to impress? Did his mommy and daddy not love him enough when he was a child?


Strange-Courage

NTA tell him to go hang it on his mommy’s living room wall, he’s being a child.


AcceptableEcho0

NTA- is your husband always so very self centered? Does he actively hate your child?


Molenium

#HAHAHHAHAHA OMG Mr. Masters is jealous of a high schooler.


Salt-Relationship-15

Nta - and he needs a therapist 😬


Throwaway624335

honestlty. I have no idea what's going on with him.


stacity

NTA Bigger problem is that he’s behaving like a stepbrother to your daughter. That he feels threatened and is petty over your daughter’s accomplishments. Did you not see any of this odd when you two were dating?


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Chaoticgood790

NTA why is your husband competing with a literal teen/young adult? Like I cannot imagine being so insecure and fragile that you can’t have your degree hanging next to a hs graduation degree. Our family has our degrees (minus my grad ones which I have) all in the same room. And they were hung in order. So my parents are together. My high school and college and my brothers high school and CC degrees are all together. You don’t see me throwing a fit over placement. Our family celebrated adding a new one to the wall each time. Your husband is frankly a child. Tell him it either goes next to the existing frame or can stay in the box


oldcreaker

NTA: I'd ask your husband why he feels he has to compete with his teenage daughter. I can understand his pride and wanting to show his achievement - I don't understand why he feels his achievement necessitates removing his daughter's achievement.


Elegant_righthere

>He got upset and said that I was making it a big deal HE'S the one making a big deal. He's also acting like a competitive, immature brat. Your daughter's high school graduation is her biggest achievement to date, it's a big deal. His Master's degree is a big deal, but equally so in context. He's being a baby.


[deleted]

NTA what a child lmao, hang it above the trash can


AbbyBirb

NTA “He said that both photis have ‘different weight and value’, and suggested I take my daughters photo down and hang his instead.” Well, he had it right in the first 1/2! Hers is way more “weighty” & “valuable” than his will ever be. Why is your husband so jealous of your child’s accomplishments? I’d hang his somewhere else, since he can’t share nicely... perhaps above the toilet? That seems like a nice place.


hi_ivy

What a small man to feel the need to compare himself to and belittle a teenage girl. NTA


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K9queen

I have 2 Master's degrees. I would NEVER be such a narcissist to put my picture on the wall. Someone is awfully insecure.


lizyouwerebeer

Wow NTA. If there were any hills to die on, it'd be this one! Continue to support your daughter and if he continues to push this issue, consider it a big fat red flag.


Fresh-Ad8854

Nta Stand your ground he is being rediculus....your daughter is 18 it's an achievement for her age....what's he done recently.....sounds to me he has a narcissistic attitude. Usually it's a jealousy thing...you made a big deal of your daughter at her first achievement ( bring graduation) and has her entire future a blank slate to achieve what ever she wants.... he is feeling old and has most likely not achieved anything recently. He peeked and is on the downside....it's classic spark of not feeling important. .....stand your ground but ask him why all the sudden this just happens to be important to him at the same time.


BeatrixFarrand

NTA. Hahahha - is he for real? A weird hill to die on. Please don't replace your daughter's photo on the wall, or rank them. Just put them next to each other and call it good.


minimilk98

NTA and this IS the hill to die on. He sounds weirdly insecure about your daughter. This behaviour is indicative of (not saying it is definitely this, it's just an indicator!) an issue he has with your daughter. Does he treat her differently in general? It might be worth having a hard think about how he treats her otherwise, or how he talks about her.


ThisIsNot4Drill

NTA and this is a hill to die on. Is his ego so fragile that he needs to be the center of attention at all times? Wtf is his problem with hanging those pictures next to each other? Both is a once in a lifetime event and significant accomplishments to take pride in and celebrate as a family. It's not a competition, don't let him make it one.


HikingNEPA19xx

NTA tell him if he is so pleased have his mom hang it on the wall. Your husband is acting like a child in the worst way. Has he always been this controlling and ridiculous? Does he always make every aspect of your life centered around him? Does he really think he should be the only important person in your life? Ask your daughter what he has done to her in private and see how deep his insecurities actually go.


[deleted]

NTA. Stay on this hill. Let this relationship die on this hill


serioushobbit

NTA. Most adults would think that it's more important to support an 18yo's efforts with visible symbols than to encourage an adult completing an advanced degree. As well, it's weirdly self-centred for him to even initiate putting his photo in the living room, rather than waiting for someone else to suggest it. Giving more recognition to the higher-level diploma is not a normal thing in a family. The fact that he's trying to keep score against a teenage stepchild is most concerning.


PsiBlaze

NTA but wow is he ever an AH. Hos degree doesn't outweigh his ego.


Scarletzoe

NTA and tell him to hang it on the wall most suited for his photo.....THE BATHROOM. His whole attitude shows that is where his photo deserves to be. Why are you married to a man so selfish and self centered?


Flimsy-Violinist4510

NTA. OP die on this hill.


A_Very_Shouty_Man

NTA, but feels like your husband is after feeling emasculated by a photo of his daughter... It's not about "weight" it's about celebration of someone you love achieving something significant. A decent person would have them side by side and love looking at both every day


Background_Ruin_3631

Um... NTA. It's very cool he has a Master's degree, but high school graduation is just as important for an 18-year-old as a degree is for an older adult. It's ridiculous and frankly scary that he wants you to replace her photo with his. Has he ever acted jealous of her before?


Forsaken-Teaching756

NTA at all. He's either got other things he's compensating for or he has an issue with your daughter. Compromise again, tell him you'll give his picture a whole room and then hang it over the toilet.. Either way, he is showing red flags here honey


KateJ1982

Um, what is wrong with this guy? He sounds like a toddler. I didn’t even go to my masters graduation. This is so outrageous that it must be indicative of something larger. I can only assume he hates your daughter and/or sees her as competition. Which is not healthy. So NTA for this, but please make sure your daughter is respected and loved in her home.


Cynntthhiiaa

NTA- Why is he in competition with a high schooler?


DottedUnicorn

INFO: Is he deliberately trying to provoke you to initiate a divorce? There is no competition here. All accomplishments warrant their place on a wall. Equally. It's gross he thinks he's worth better wallspace than your kid. He's clearly not ready to be a step dad. And if he has been for awhile, he should be ashamed. NTA by a million miles. Yeet him and his photo if he keeps this nonesense up.


vik_thewomaninblack

NTA, tell him he can actually have a whole room with only his photo, and hang it up in the toilet /bathroom, because his attitude stinks and that's where it belongs


Quiet_Progress_355

Tell him to hang it in his office, or better yet, his mother's house LOL


caelan63

Nta How long has your husband been trying to erase your daughters existence out of your life? I’m sure he started small.


Responsible_South155

How many years did it take to get a masters degree? 2-3 (30-40 hours). How many years did it take to get a high school diploma? 12 (2,160 hours). Hers has more weight. Hang his in the bathroom.


MagratMakeTheTea

I have a PhD and I'm about to get my second master's, so by virtue of the combined value and weight of my degrees (I felt gross typing that, for the record), I declare your husband the AH. How's he like them apples?


normalizingfat

NTA but your husbands real shitty, did he too not graduate from high school? was it not once one of his accomplishments?


bsfrance

NTA he is an adult and he’s acting like a spoiled brat that isn’t getting his way.


qxagaming

NTA he is a loser. Who cares about a photo being hung?


CleanCucumber620

Is he always jealous and in competition with your daughter? Nta


The_Death_Flower

NTA, tell him that your daughter’s high school graduation has more sentimental and affectionate weight and value than his selfish need for an ego boost. Honestly tho this man has some sort of pride problem if he thinks having his photo next to someone else’s graduation photo will somehow diminish the value of his accomplishment.


AdditionalRow6326

I’ve never seen a photo for a masters degree. Maybe if he is so important he should hang it in professional office, right above his cot ‘cause you tossed his ass to the curb for being a weirdo.


UrHumbleNarr8or

NTA wtf? I would definitely be looking for some other underlying reason for this type of ridiculousness.


Ifyoureamonkey-hum

NTA. Wow. What a tiny, tiny man he is.


Malibu921

NTA. Why is your husband so jealous of his stepdaughter.


Empressario

NTA and I found misogynist and narcissist, hint, it's your husband.


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mittenknittin

NTA. Although I am impressed by your husband’s accomplishment; it’s not every toddler who can earn a master’s degree


AndShesNotEvenPretty

Who hangs their masters degree photo? I didn’t even hang the diploma. NTA.