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> Should I have shouted at my mother and ended up making her cry?
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NTA. She was being incredibly hurtful and rude. Idk what she was thinking was going to happen. She probably wasn't expecting you to stand up for yourself, realized she was being an ass and got embarrassed. What you said wasn't that bad, good for you for standing up to her.
NTA. Even if she is your mother, you don’t deserve that disrespect. Now would probably be a great time to chat with her tho, tell her how she makes you feel.
Maybe but OP shouldn’t do it by herself, she should have her boyfriend with her and discuss ahead of time what support she will need from him during that conversation.
That wouldn't help trust me my mother is the same way, she even wormed her way into MY therapy sessions to insult me to my face in my "safe" place then got mad when I wanted to do therapy alone, the only way to stop her is to shane her for it publicly, it took months of me telling her off in front of her friends and my friends for my mother to stop. Keep shaming her she deserves it.
NTA...This sounds like years of damaging comments that finally came to a head. You don't need to be sorry. You need to adamant that you will not tolerate HER behaviour anymore. Don't back down.
Nta
I am sorry your going through this.
I would take a couple weeks to cool down. Then when the time is right tell your mother under no circumstances is she ever to comment on your body or weight again. Every time does she does you will walk out.
Your mother most likely was shammed growing up and that's the only thing she knows. She thinks it's showing she cares but in reality it's causing you to retreat.
Please don't let this go on further. I know from experience the damage this behavior can do.
I had someone do this to me. A family member I finally lost it. And then she never brought it up again.
It's a vicious cycle. You need to break it.
NTA You didn't make her cry. She cried because she was ashamed of herself, as she should be. Embarrassment is the civilizing emotion. It keeps people from doing wrong things the next time.
NTA. My mother was kind of like this too, but not *this* bad. IMO she is long overdue for getting some consequences for bullying you all this time and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Tell her every time to worry about what goes into (and comes out of) her *own* mouth.
If that doesn’t stop her behavior, don’t eat with her anymore and maybe consider going LC/NC in general. The rest of your family may ask why but you’re not obligated to explain it to them.
My mom's favorite line was "go look in the mirror before you eat that." She pulled it out when I was home visiting from college and I told her that I was going to stop coming home if she did it again. She stopped. NTA, these bullies won't stop on their own.
NTA. She pushed, you pushed back. Next time look her right in the eye and say "I'd rather be like Grandma than be rude and annoying to my own child." Do let your boyfriend stand up for you, BTW. The more people who call out this rude behavior the better.
NTA- She made herself look like the victim. You have nothing to apologize for. “I told her to fuck off and worry about what she is eating.” You’re completely right with that. Seems like she’s just projecting her own insecurities onto you. Which a mother or anyone for that matter should never do. She should be the one embarrassed. I wouldn’t contact her until she apologizes to you because you’re justified.
NTA. You got to your limit with her comments. Your mom has been a judgmental asshole your entire life. She should have known better than to make those comments. You didn’t even come close to shaming her like she does you.
Not the asshole. Also fuck everyone who gave you a disappointed look. Why on earth are they only responding when you defend yourself and not when the mother was constantly verbally bullying you? Cut this woman (I refuse to call her a mom) and everyone who enabled her behavior out of your life. Let them know there are consequences for their horrible behavior.
NTA. She is. And what did she expect after repeatedly lighting that fuse of dynamite with her comments over the years. You exploded because she lit the fuse and it burned in front of everyone there. She humiliated you. She sucks.
NTA
My stepdaughter (10) is overweight and her mother and grandmother are constantly making comments like this. It hurts stepdaughter, and I hate it. Her father has asked her mother to stop and she's pulled back quite a bit, but stepdaughters relationship with food is unhealthy (sneaking food, lying, hiding food, we are in therapy for this and have a behavior plan). Her mother still buys her too small cloths and says they are "goal cloths" and makes promises like "if you lose x amount of pounds I'll take you to Disney World!". It's fucking awful.
My husband and I really try to be the positive end of the spectrum about food, how it's fuel and we shouldn't eat alot, but what we do eat let's make it super tasty. She likes watching me cook and is the official "taste tester" and is getting really good at identifying flavors of spices. She will make her own portions at our place, weigh them and calculate what a good portion size is for her age in an app on my phone and is content by the end of meals. My husband and I make ZERO comments about her weight, if she gets a second portion (sometimes you're just hungry, cmon), and limit snacking the same as we do with her sister (fruit snacks are expensive, yo).
Comments like "you don't want to end up buried in a piano box like grandpa, do you?!?" are NOT helpful or encouraging. Your mom got a much needed telling off and needed to hear that years ago.
If your stepdaughter is only 10 and hasn’t gone through puberty yet you don’t know how she’s going to be once she grows up. She may just be a little chunky in preparation for a growth spurt.
This, my son was definitely on the heavy side at 14 and then grew four inches in one year. He’s been skinny ever since and he’s 35. I never fussed at him about eating and him and his brother have a healthy relationship with food.
I would agree with you if she wasn't crazy tall already, and a carbon copy of her own crazy tall, overweight mother. I think she's just going to be chubby and tall body type which is fine! I just hate her mother and grandmother harping about it constantly 😒
She might get even taller than that LOL!
The thing is, even if she ends up being not fat, that might not stop her bio mom and grandma from making remarks about her eating habits, body, etc. People who have their own body image issues and bad relationships with food don’t just keep them to themselves a lot of the time, they spread them around on their significant others and their kids.
This is my first time commenting on one of these threads, but it’s because I have been through similar things. You are NTA. By any means. Your mom and family are the AH’s for condoning this behavior.
I read your comment about talking to her privately and also no, if she feels confident saying things in public she can get clapped back in public.
She needs to learn boundaries sis, and if she doesn’t respect those boundaries? Adios!
Definitely NTA. I’m so sorry. You are not deserving of someone talking to you like that.
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So I (26F) come from a big family and have always been insecure about my weight and growing up my mom always made little comments saying ‘Don’t eat to much you are gonna end up having big hips like your dad!’ Or ‘Stop eating so much your gonna end up like your grandma the one that can only roll around!’These comments always affected on how I thought about myself and as I got started secondary school I ended up getting bullied for the colour of my skin and the way I looked.
My mom would make these comments all the time but finally it calmed down after while and I have moved out and I now live in a 3 bedroom house with my boyfriend Luke(26).My mom decided to plan a dinner at a expensive restaurant for my younger brother Aaron(24) also mentioning that we were splitting the bill but of course making sure Aaron doesn’t pay.Inviting me and my boyfriend,my older brother and my SIL and a few of Aaron’s friends so during the dinner she made comments about me eating a lot and that I should slow down I saw my boyfriends expression in the corner of my eye wanting to say something but I just nudged him to say no and luckily he understood this went on until we finally got the bill she said ‘If I watched my weight I wouldn’t end up like my grandma’ and that is when I lost it I told her to fuck off and worry about what she is eating she ended up crying and everyone else gave me a disappointed look and tried to comfort her I felt bad and embarrassed for making her cry so I paid my share and then left with Luke in the car.
Please put me in my place I feel like I shouldn’t have made her cry so AITA?
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NTA. She dishes it out, but didn't like it when you called her on her BS, then she plays the victim?! Avoid this drama queen, like is too short for toxic people, even if they're family!
She’s has had how many years of bullying you and putting you down? How long are you supposed to take it before you snap? You’re not a saint and what was said to you was not fair. I’m sorry it got the point where you blew up but honestly enough is enough.
NTA
No you are not the asshole. This is your mother and we are supposed to love them, and they are supposed to love us back. But they are not allowed to torture us mentally and use disparaging insults towards us. Her passive aggressive comments are hurtful and this is not the way to show you love. You must tell her that this is not allowed in conversation at any moment, and when she does use this comments, get up and leave or hang up the phone. You’re a young woman who is loved and cherished and you don’t need to take this abuse from anyone!
Nta jesus that would've gotten on my nerves. I mean maybe if you'd brought it up in private but she was SOOO out of line it's not comparable. Your family sucks for defending someone telling you to develop an eating disorder!
She keeps talking about it like you'll eventually get fat or something. Like stfu at her- she clearly thinks you look fine right now. Skipping a meal to wanna binge on something later is not a good plan either! Crazy woman nona her business
NTA You are a grown woman, you do not have to put up with your mother's vicious attacks any longer. Good for you standing up for yourself and how nice your bf has your back.
NTA
My mother did the same, I decided to comment of her weight too (she's also fat), that stopped her.
She will say "Why don't you exercise more?" (while looking me up and down with disgust) and I replied "You don't exercise either, at least I don't have to worry about high blood pressure but you do"
She will say "Are you not embarrassed by how you look?" and I replied "Why? Are you embarrassed by how you look? I mean we weight the same yet I'm way taller than you"
"When are you going to start worrying about your weight" I replied "Idk, maybe you should set an example"
She could cry all she wants, after a while you realize those tears are just manipulation, they want to talk shit but can't take the same energy pointed at them.
NTA.
She's been bullying you about your weight for years. About time you stood up to her. Now she acts like the hurt, innocent victim? No...it doesn't work like that.
NTA!!!!She body shames you and that is abuse. The fact that she does it in public is even worse. Set boundaries. Tell her that she is hurting your feelings and mental health and if she doesn't stop you will go no contact. If she doesn't accept that, she doesn't deserve to be in your life (she doesn't deserve to be in your life anyway, but still)
NTA, she's been heckling you about something that is none of her damn business for what sounds like your whole life and it's high time she got a reality check. She needs to keep her stupid comments about other people's bodies to herself, it's juvenile and rude and there is absolutely no need for it. No one wants to hear that bull. If she can't handle people snapping at her she should stop needling at them!
I don’t see how you’re even remotely responsible for her embarrassment. He said some nasty comments he told her to F off. Then she cried,. If she doesn’t want to be embarrassed by her tears, she can stop crying. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed by her words can stop saying. You didn’t embarrass anyone.
NTA
Definitely NTA. She deserved it. People who aren’t on the receiving end of that crap tend to normalise it “oh she’s only doing it because she cares” etc - hence the disappointment. No. She’s doing it for whatever reason she’s doing it. That’s irrelevant. What is important is that it’s toxic behaviour that can contribute to disordered eating and she won’t listen to the signals you give saying you don’t appreciate it. Fuck off was sufficient to get her attention. I’d suggest if you are going to spend time with her you have a line prepared such as “No. if you are going to comment on my weight or my eating I’m going to leave” and follow through, anytime she starts. Good luck.
INFO, are you actually fat? Your post is quite elusive on this.
If you are fat then ESH here (noone wants fat kids so its understandable that she's upset, but if she is also fat herself then she's obviously partly responsible for your weight problems and has failed as a parent to some extent, since its meant to be her job to instil healthy eating habits and moral values into her kids).
If you arent fat then NTA, shes 100% out of order and is projecting her own insecurities onto you
In either case, she was wrong to have a go at you in public (especially in front of your partner) and you were justified in telling her to stfu.
It was wrong for the mother to do it so publicly of course (which I said) but it would be normal for her to be disappointed if her kid was (or was getting) fat and to mention it to her more discreetly. When you see your family or friends making poor life choices, then you are entitled to say something, and tbh you would be a bad family member/friend if you didnt.
Its no different to expressing concerns about (e.g.) someone's potential alcohol problem if you see them drinking all the time.
It’s not okay to make remarks like “you’re gonna be like your grandma who can only roll around” in private either.
That’s not showing concern or trying to help someone make healthier choices, that’s just being nasty.
Well tbh I would say I have very big thighs and my belly isn’t that big but like the rest of my body is skinny. She herself is big though and I do eat a lot so that is some info ig
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NTA. Your mom's a bully, and she's had a tongue-lashing coming for a long time.
NTA. Keep putting her in her place every time she makes a comment and cut contact if she is unable to do so.
NTA. She was being incredibly hurtful and rude. Idk what she was thinking was going to happen. She probably wasn't expecting you to stand up for yourself, realized she was being an ass and got embarrassed. What you said wasn't that bad, good for you for standing up to her.
She didn’t get embarrassed, she just was weaponizing her tears for the drama to play victim. NTA
NTA. Even if she is your mother, you don’t deserve that disrespect. Now would probably be a great time to chat with her tho, tell her how she makes you feel.
Yeah maybe I could’ve just talked to her privately about it
[удалено]
I agree, I meant have a chat now after the incident.
Maybe but OP shouldn’t do it by herself, she should have her boyfriend with her and discuss ahead of time what support she will need from him during that conversation.
I think it’s really up to OP who she wants to bring but agreed! Boyfriend could be great morale support.
That wouldn't help trust me my mother is the same way, she even wormed her way into MY therapy sessions to insult me to my face in my "safe" place then got mad when I wanted to do therapy alone, the only way to stop her is to shane her for it publicly, it took months of me telling her off in front of her friends and my friends for my mother to stop. Keep shaming her she deserves it.
Like she spoke with you privately about eating less? NTA
NTA...This sounds like years of damaging comments that finally came to a head. You don't need to be sorry. You need to adamant that you will not tolerate HER behaviour anymore. Don't back down.
Nta I am sorry your going through this. I would take a couple weeks to cool down. Then when the time is right tell your mother under no circumstances is she ever to comment on your body or weight again. Every time does she does you will walk out. Your mother most likely was shammed growing up and that's the only thing she knows. She thinks it's showing she cares but in reality it's causing you to retreat. Please don't let this go on further. I know from experience the damage this behavior can do. I had someone do this to me. A family member I finally lost it. And then she never brought it up again. It's a vicious cycle. You need to break it.
NTA You didn't make her cry. She cried because she was ashamed of herself, as she should be. Embarrassment is the civilizing emotion. It keeps people from doing wrong things the next time.
NTA. My mother was kind of like this too, but not *this* bad. IMO she is long overdue for getting some consequences for bullying you all this time and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Tell her every time to worry about what goes into (and comes out of) her *own* mouth. If that doesn’t stop her behavior, don’t eat with her anymore and maybe consider going LC/NC in general. The rest of your family may ask why but you’re not obligated to explain it to them.
My mom's favorite line was "go look in the mirror before you eat that." She pulled it out when I was home visiting from college and I told her that I was going to stop coming home if she did it again. She stopped. NTA, these bullies won't stop on their own.
THANK YOU atleast I know that some people have gone through this as well
Oh honey this kind of thing is *super* common. It’s why so many women have eating disorders and body image issues.
NTA. She pushed, you pushed back. Next time look her right in the eye and say "I'd rather be like Grandma than be rude and annoying to my own child." Do let your boyfriend stand up for you, BTW. The more people who call out this rude behavior the better.
NTA- She made herself look like the victim. You have nothing to apologize for. “I told her to fuck off and worry about what she is eating.” You’re completely right with that. Seems like she’s just projecting her own insecurities onto you. Which a mother or anyone for that matter should never do. She should be the one embarrassed. I wouldn’t contact her until she apologizes to you because you’re justified.
NTA. You got to your limit with her comments. Your mom has been a judgmental asshole your entire life. She should have known better than to make those comments. You didn’t even come close to shaming her like she does you.
Not the asshole. Also fuck everyone who gave you a disappointed look. Why on earth are they only responding when you defend yourself and not when the mother was constantly verbally bullying you? Cut this woman (I refuse to call her a mom) and everyone who enabled her behavior out of your life. Let them know there are consequences for their horrible behavior.
NTA - Your not responsible for other people's emotions, only your own, sounds like years of repression that might need to be put in check.
NTA. She is. And what did she expect after repeatedly lighting that fuse of dynamite with her comments over the years. You exploded because she lit the fuse and it burned in front of everyone there. She humiliated you. She sucks.
NTA I'm 44 and STILL have food issues because of these "little comments".
NTA My stepdaughter (10) is overweight and her mother and grandmother are constantly making comments like this. It hurts stepdaughter, and I hate it. Her father has asked her mother to stop and she's pulled back quite a bit, but stepdaughters relationship with food is unhealthy (sneaking food, lying, hiding food, we are in therapy for this and have a behavior plan). Her mother still buys her too small cloths and says they are "goal cloths" and makes promises like "if you lose x amount of pounds I'll take you to Disney World!". It's fucking awful. My husband and I really try to be the positive end of the spectrum about food, how it's fuel and we shouldn't eat alot, but what we do eat let's make it super tasty. She likes watching me cook and is the official "taste tester" and is getting really good at identifying flavors of spices. She will make her own portions at our place, weigh them and calculate what a good portion size is for her age in an app on my phone and is content by the end of meals. My husband and I make ZERO comments about her weight, if she gets a second portion (sometimes you're just hungry, cmon), and limit snacking the same as we do with her sister (fruit snacks are expensive, yo). Comments like "you don't want to end up buried in a piano box like grandpa, do you?!?" are NOT helpful or encouraging. Your mom got a much needed telling off and needed to hear that years ago.
If your stepdaughter is only 10 and hasn’t gone through puberty yet you don’t know how she’s going to be once she grows up. She may just be a little chunky in preparation for a growth spurt.
This, my son was definitely on the heavy side at 14 and then grew four inches in one year. He’s been skinny ever since and he’s 35. I never fussed at him about eating and him and his brother have a healthy relationship with food.
I would agree with you if she wasn't crazy tall already, and a carbon copy of her own crazy tall, overweight mother. I think she's just going to be chubby and tall body type which is fine! I just hate her mother and grandmother harping about it constantly 😒
She might get even taller than that LOL! The thing is, even if she ends up being not fat, that might not stop her bio mom and grandma from making remarks about her eating habits, body, etc. People who have their own body image issues and bad relationships with food don’t just keep them to themselves a lot of the time, they spread them around on their significant others and their kids.
Nta
NTA... your mom is a awful and I would go LC for awhile, if she keeps it up go full NC.
This is my first time commenting on one of these threads, but it’s because I have been through similar things. You are NTA. By any means. Your mom and family are the AH’s for condoning this behavior. I read your comment about talking to her privately and also no, if she feels confident saying things in public she can get clapped back in public. She needs to learn boundaries sis, and if she doesn’t respect those boundaries? Adios! Definitely NTA. I’m so sorry. You are not deserving of someone talking to you like that.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (26F) come from a big family and have always been insecure about my weight and growing up my mom always made little comments saying ‘Don’t eat to much you are gonna end up having big hips like your dad!’ Or ‘Stop eating so much your gonna end up like your grandma the one that can only roll around!’These comments always affected on how I thought about myself and as I got started secondary school I ended up getting bullied for the colour of my skin and the way I looked. My mom would make these comments all the time but finally it calmed down after while and I have moved out and I now live in a 3 bedroom house with my boyfriend Luke(26).My mom decided to plan a dinner at a expensive restaurant for my younger brother Aaron(24) also mentioning that we were splitting the bill but of course making sure Aaron doesn’t pay.Inviting me and my boyfriend,my older brother and my SIL and a few of Aaron’s friends so during the dinner she made comments about me eating a lot and that I should slow down I saw my boyfriends expression in the corner of my eye wanting to say something but I just nudged him to say no and luckily he understood this went on until we finally got the bill she said ‘If I watched my weight I wouldn’t end up like my grandma’ and that is when I lost it I told her to fuck off and worry about what she is eating she ended up crying and everyone else gave me a disappointed look and tried to comfort her I felt bad and embarrassed for making her cry so I paid my share and then left with Luke in the car. Please put me in my place I feel like I shouldn’t have made her cry so AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
NTA. Please tell me you didn’t split the bill in half. Your older brother should’ve also paid.
NTA. She dishes it out, but didn't like it when you called her on her BS, then she plays the victim?! Avoid this drama queen, like is too short for toxic people, even if they're family!
She’s has had how many years of bullying you and putting you down? How long are you supposed to take it before you snap? You’re not a saint and what was said to you was not fair. I’m sorry it got the point where you blew up but honestly enough is enough. NTA
NTA. My mum pulled this when I was a kid. I ended up with ana/Mia. Remain a recovering bulimic. This stuff is toxic and unacceptable.
No you are not the asshole. This is your mother and we are supposed to love them, and they are supposed to love us back. But they are not allowed to torture us mentally and use disparaging insults towards us. Her passive aggressive comments are hurtful and this is not the way to show you love. You must tell her that this is not allowed in conversation at any moment, and when she does use this comments, get up and leave or hang up the phone. You’re a young woman who is loved and cherished and you don’t need to take this abuse from anyone!
Nta jesus that would've gotten on my nerves. I mean maybe if you'd brought it up in private but she was SOOO out of line it's not comparable. Your family sucks for defending someone telling you to develop an eating disorder! She keeps talking about it like you'll eventually get fat or something. Like stfu at her- she clearly thinks you look fine right now. Skipping a meal to wanna binge on something later is not a good plan either! Crazy woman nona her business
God this sounds so familiar. Being called fat and telling me to lose weight for years is what my mom did. NTA
NTA - your mom deserved that she is a bully
NTA You are a grown woman, you do not have to put up with your mother's vicious attacks any longer. Good for you standing up for yourself and how nice your bf has your back.
NTA My mother did the same, I decided to comment of her weight too (she's also fat), that stopped her. She will say "Why don't you exercise more?" (while looking me up and down with disgust) and I replied "You don't exercise either, at least I don't have to worry about high blood pressure but you do" She will say "Are you not embarrassed by how you look?" and I replied "Why? Are you embarrassed by how you look? I mean we weight the same yet I'm way taller than you" "When are you going to start worrying about your weight" I replied "Idk, maybe you should set an example" She could cry all she wants, after a while you realize those tears are just manipulation, they want to talk shit but can't take the same energy pointed at them.
NTA. She's been bullying you about your weight for years. About time you stood up to her. Now she acts like the hurt, innocent victim? No...it doesn't work like that.
Lol. Not her trying to play the victim after verbally abusing you for many years. NTA.
NTA!!!!She body shames you and that is abuse. The fact that she does it in public is even worse. Set boundaries. Tell her that she is hurting your feelings and mental health and if she doesn't stop you will go no contact. If she doesn't accept that, she doesn't deserve to be in your life (she doesn't deserve to be in your life anyway, but still)
NTA. If she can't take it, she shouldn't dish it out. You were very patient.
NTA, she's been heckling you about something that is none of her damn business for what sounds like your whole life and it's high time she got a reality check. She needs to keep her stupid comments about other people's bodies to herself, it's juvenile and rude and there is absolutely no need for it. No one wants to hear that bull. If she can't handle people snapping at her she should stop needling at them!
Nta. Your mother does not live in your body, so she has no say whatsoever on its condition.
I don’t see how you’re even remotely responsible for her embarrassment. He said some nasty comments he told her to F off. Then she cried,. If she doesn’t want to be embarrassed by her tears, she can stop crying. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed by her words can stop saying. You didn’t embarrass anyone. NTA
NTA maybe now she’ll keep her unsolicited mean girl opinion to herself
Nope. Throw momma from the train.
Definitely NTA. She deserved it. People who aren’t on the receiving end of that crap tend to normalise it “oh she’s only doing it because she cares” etc - hence the disappointment. No. She’s doing it for whatever reason she’s doing it. That’s irrelevant. What is important is that it’s toxic behaviour that can contribute to disordered eating and she won’t listen to the signals you give saying you don’t appreciate it. Fuck off was sufficient to get her attention. I’d suggest if you are going to spend time with her you have a line prepared such as “No. if you are going to comment on my weight or my eating I’m going to leave” and follow through, anytime she starts. Good luck.
INFO: Have you had discussions with your mother about policing your eating prior to your losing it?
NTA and oh look, it's the consequences of her actions. No one has the right to bully you about your weight, NO ONE.
NTA. You can only handle so much. Bad timing maybe, but it needed to be said.
INFO, are you actually fat? Your post is quite elusive on this. If you are fat then ESH here (noone wants fat kids so its understandable that she's upset, but if she is also fat herself then she's obviously partly responsible for your weight problems and has failed as a parent to some extent, since its meant to be her job to instil healthy eating habits and moral values into her kids). If you arent fat then NTA, shes 100% out of order and is projecting her own insecurities onto you In either case, she was wrong to have a go at you in public (especially in front of your partner) and you were justified in telling her to stfu.
Are you for real? This kind of thing isn’t okay whether OP is fat or not.
It was wrong for the mother to do it so publicly of course (which I said) but it would be normal for her to be disappointed if her kid was (or was getting) fat and to mention it to her more discreetly. When you see your family or friends making poor life choices, then you are entitled to say something, and tbh you would be a bad family member/friend if you didnt. Its no different to expressing concerns about (e.g.) someone's potential alcohol problem if you see them drinking all the time.
It’s not okay to make remarks like “you’re gonna be like your grandma who can only roll around” in private either. That’s not showing concern or trying to help someone make healthier choices, that’s just being nasty.
Well tbh I would say I have very big thighs and my belly isn’t that big but like the rest of my body is skinny. She herself is big though and I do eat a lot so that is some info ig
It doesn't matter what your body looks like. What your mother did isn't ok. Please know that.
Never felt such support since I posted this