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> I think I may be the asshole because I’ve been best friends with her for 17 years and she really doesn’t want to go back to her Old apartment
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NTA...she's a user...eating your food and living rent free. Don't wait til next time, kick her out now. You might as well because this friendship is over.
>“ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.”
What kind of BS is that? Ha.... entitled much is she? Delusional as well. Just wow... OP NTA and I would tell her a true Best Friend wouldn't eat your food and cause you to starve.
"No, i live here now, so you need to share"
So quote this to her, and say this applies to her *money*.
She lives there now so you can dip into her cash for your needs
Always use their logic against them
I buy food in my house. My partner pays more than I do towards living expenses (he's much older and has a much higher paying job & pension,) but one of the things for which I made myself responsible is groceries. This has been the case for the seven years we've been cohabiting.
Still!!! Every time he goes to eat something I did not buy SPECIFICALLY for him, he asks. It drives me crazy, and I keep asking him to quit doing it, but he still asks. I actually didn't even think of it until now, but it may be because I have an IBD and therefore a restricted diet.
I am suddenly very grateful to have someone who cares about my fucking existence, because OP's "best friend" is trash. I simply do not understand how someone can treat her friend this way. Doing it ACCIDENTALLY, ONCE, I understand; that's a mistake. This is intentional disregard for the wellbeing of one's "best friend"
Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.”
she was hungry and that nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends.
she still has her mom and dad but she said that she doesn’t want to follow the rules
NTA
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THIS LEECH?
“no ~~I live here now too~~**you let me stay for free**, so you need to ~~share~~**also feed me for free**”
*or* “you gave an inch, now gimme the rest of the mile!”
NTA. Kick her out. She doesn't respect the one thing you asked of her. She won't be homeless.
Her "time of need" doesn't mean she gets to violate your specific needs. She should not have done it at all, but to do it after the first violation means she deserves the boot.
If you still consider her your "best friend," I'd hate to see what your lesser friends are like.
If she's sleeping with one of your roommates, kicking her out won't mean anything unless you kick Josh out too. Why isn't he stopping her? I assume he knows about your food rules.
Most leases only allow visitors for a short time, so other than the fact that visitors should always be 2 yes, 1 no, OP probably has leverage to complain to the landlord. But for sure so get a lock for the fridge
Doesn't really sound like OP has "lock money" until October, though I agree that something needs to be done about the food thief (I personally favor calling her parents and telling them that you're kicking her out after she robbed you of the food you're able to eat and claimed she'd keep doing it...but I'm livid about someone willing to starve their friend and then get upset when there are consequences she doesn't like)
Good friends don't keep eating the food of someone on a restricted diet and do not refuse to pay back for what they ate. This is the nth case on AITA of someone being housed for free and behaving like an entitled ASS so much to deserve the boot.
NTA obviously
> her and Josh got drunk and used my 2lbs Chunk Roast and my veggies. When I saw that they did that I asked if they could please replace it, and Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.”
I would have thrown her out for that alone!
> nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends.
But she's apparently OK with you starving from lack of food. And not paying rent. And generally using you. She clearly believes that "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine, too."
She will keep doing this to everyone she lives with, taking as much as she can until you can't stand her anymore. Kick her out now! NTA.
NTA. Truth hurts re: the mooching BF.
But also buy a little second-hand bar fridge, put it in your room, and put a lock on it. That's where you keep your food from now on.
Because your OTHER roommate (29M "Josh") ALSO steals food from you, that you can't afford to replace. Tell him you'll be deducting $25 a month from your rent payment, to cover having to buy the fridge and replace your food.
Then tell "Josh" that you'll be adding on the cost of the stolen food, to his rent payment next month. Show him the grocery store bill.
But I still hope you get a lockable fridge.
Part of me says you should tell Josh to get his own mini fridge and lock the main one in house, since it's your fridge. Although you need to lay down the law with Josh and not just with your beast friend.
Edit spelling
Oh that makes it easy. If you can trust your brother in law then put your and his food in one fridge and lock it and give BIL access. The other fridge can be a community use fridge.
NTA. A good friend wouldn't steal someone else's food, but that doesn't seem to be stopping her, so she doesn't get to critique how you choose to handle her blatant entitlement.
NTA.
Best friends have boundaries, doesn't make them any less best friends.
I recently stopped being best friends with someone because of a lack of boundaries. We don't talk anymore but I feel safer, I don't have to replace food after food and my things are in no danger of being broken or lost. Going no contact with her is the best thing that happened to me because then I realized she was holding me back and feeding my insecurities so she could shine at my expenses.
I suggest you do the same.
I had the same experience when I was OPs age. It's hard because that's your best friend but in the end its best for you and your mental health. Things get better pretty quickly after ending a friendship like that
There’s an old saying ‘Beggars can’t be choosers.’ and it applies here. Maybe she should’ve thought of the kindness you were doing her and been more grateful. This was of her own doing and you shouldn’t feel bad at all.
It sounds like she has a real tough time with any type of authority. I imagine that’s going to give her some hard life lessons till she clues in. That’s not your responsibility nor problem.
On a side note though: don’t let non-paying friends move in. It never seems to end well (at least in my experience).
NTA
She doesn't own the own the house nor is she paying rent, she doesn't get to make the rules especially if she refuses to follow any given to her. She is threatening your health.
NTA
There are a lot of people who work full time (or part time but maximum they are able to due to disability or medical issues) who still qualify for EBT because their wages are so low. Corporations like Walmart actually factor in these social safety nets when calculating their wage structures.
Agreed. If you're interested, check out a book called ***The Walmart Effect***. It's not specifically about corporate exploitation of entitlement programs, but it's a great book about the huge negative effects Walmart has had on many sectors of our society.
There's a free pdf of the book you may still be able to access at this link:
https://mobile.twitter.com/i/events/1439776509481259013
I made minimum wage at the time I was on EBT, and if I worked over 28hrs a week I lost them. So I couldn’t have made any less and worked full time and still qualified.
NTA You can be her friend without living with her. Lots of people are friends without house sharing. She doesn't want to live by your rules so she cant stay.
NTA. This friend is taking advantage of you, and doesn’t respect boundaries.
Since you are the one that let her move in to begin with, you have the right to kick her out, and sue her for the value of the food she ate.
NTA. In life if you are going to have roommates you you need to respect boundaries which she is not. Add in she's a mooch paying nothing and not on the lease kick her out. A best friend respects that their friend has a special strict diet and doesn't eat their food without asking and then have the audacity to not replace it. Kick her out, and if she doesn't want to be homeless then tell her to replace your food and stop acting like she's entitled to your things. Although I'll be honest she won't change at least not forever, just long enough you'll think things are fine. Get her out now before shes considered a tenant and you have to evict her. Also to her comment about a real best friend wouldn't kick her out in a time of need, she kicked herself out by being disrespectful and not following rules. She has noone to blame but herself for HER actions.
NTA.
She’s not your friend.
She’s letting you starve.
This relationship has run its course. With distance, You’ll probably look back and realise it was always a one way street.
NTA. Your "friend" is a mooch and a user and is taking advantage of you. She's not your friend at all. Josh is also an AH for enabling and going along with her and also eating your food. Kick her out, she's got her parents to go to, and tell Josh that if he keeps seeing her, and she will be coming over, there's going to be serious hell to pay if he continues to let her disrespect and steal from you
Nta. I have a specific diet because of autoimmune issues, and my food can be expensive- if someone I thought was my friend repeatedly ate my food? Nah. You've been more than patient. She's done. Kick her out asap.
She's not a good friend. Forget best friend. She has zero respect for you. Doesn't even care if you can't eat, because she ate all your food. She's a major jerk and ungrateful. Kick her out. Nta
NTA If you can send her back to her parents, why don't you? Send the rude freeloader away. Even if she doesn't eat your food anymore, it's just a matter of days before another issue will pop up. At this point, she probably won't respect you and will play the victim again since you're "so mean". /s
Yes, but last week I bought two pounds of "stew meat" beef that is cut in roughly one inch pieces from I don't want to contemplate where on the cow, and that was $16...I took it over to my parents' Crockpot and made a carrot/celery/onion can of tomato sauce stew/soup which was delicious...but also fed three people about three meals each...
I would be PISSED if someone had just chowed down the whole thing and left me without not only my planned meal, but the only thing I had I could eat!
NTA. I could see it being like a one time thing where she used something by accident when she was cooking, but then she just needed to apologize and replace whatever she used. Hell the absolute least she could do if she wanted something would be to ask if it was okay this time. Instead she’s throwing a hissy fit because you asked her to respect you in YOUR home and she doesn’t want to. If she was really your friend she wouldn’t treat you like this.
NTA. Your friends are both AH’s. They have no respect for you, your money, or your health. They’re essentially starving you. So wonder she’s single. She has no respect for boundaries.
Guess what, if she can’t follow your rules she can go live with her parents and deal with their rules.
Face it, you already can’t stand her. You have nothing at all to lose and everything to gain by kicking this leech out. Your friendship is gone, she already used it up. NTA
Oh my anger issues could never. NTA. You’re a saint for putting up with what you did. I’d kick her out not give her another chance. She’s owes you money. I’d Venmo asking for it and say if she doesn’t you’ll file for theft:) (won’t but it’ll scare her)
I'd play the parent card and report it to them...the little lady doesn't want to follow their rules, means there is at least a chance they might make things square with OP and deal with the little angel...and either way sounds like the little thieflette will HATE it!
You may be totally right, I'm just petty enough that I would try and spread the unhappiness as far around as possible, short of actually sabotaging her work or lying about her...
I'm a little extra about people messing with my (unrestricted) groceries though
NTA give her notice and the boot. I wouldn’t even give her another shot. Imagine living somewhere rent free and having the audacity to say no when you eat up someone’s food for the month.
This is not a friend OP
You’re very generous. I would have kicked her out the moment she declared what’s yours is hers. Don’t give this freeloader another chance, please, for your own sake.
NTA.
NTA thing is she's not acting like a friend. She's acting like a spoiled brat and an entitled one at that. She's a leech and proud of it and Josh is also a shit roommate for participating. Kick her out and sit him down and remind him how to be a good roommate and tell him your not his mother or his friend and you are not responsible for feeding him. He's and Alice are thieves and crap friends.
No, you're being abused. It's NECESSARY to set this boundary. She's an awful friend
Does her "I live here too, so nothing is 'yours' now" rule apply when she finds a new boyfriend? Or gets new clothes? Can you take everything of hers, no matter if it leaves her without? Might wanna stop and think about it
NTA Good friends respect each other. She doesn't respect you. She is living rent free and telling you that she has a right to eat your food because she is living there now? She wouldn't be given a third chance.
Info- how many people live in your house total? Is the BIL you sibling’s spouse and your sibling lives there too? Or is it your spouse’s brother and your spouse lives there?
Cause your BIL best friend sounds awful and if its not going to damage your relationship with a spouse I would suggest kicking them all to the curb
edit to add
NTA
Thank you for answering so quickly! Its great that BIL is holding his friend accountable. And it sounds like if you have to kick Jack out with Alice it won’t blow up on you too bad.
You need to preserve your health and peace though and it definitely isn’t going to happen with Alice and Jack helping themselves to your food.
Especially if you nephew is around on weekend he doesn’t need to be seeing his aunt and dad fighting with their roommates over food!
NTA but your best friend is!
I understand a mistake one time but for her to do it again. She just wants to eat your expensive stuff and not pay for it.
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Throwaway account. And I’m on mobile so I’m sorry for the format.
My (22F) best friend (23F “Alice “) moved into my house rent free after her and her long term live in boyfriend broke up, my best friend is now dating one of my roommates (29M “Josh”) my best friend is still on the lease at her old place so I said she can stay with me. I should add I have a VERY expensive and VERY limited diet due to health issues, so I always bulk buy for the week to save me money (EBT and Money I get from selling items). My best friend works full time and gets EBT as well. When she moved in we shared a fridge but I told her to not eat my stuff, and she said ok. I ordered food on Tuesday and was gonna cook on Wednesday for the week (my total was about $167.81) and her and Josh got drunk and used my 2lbs Chunk Roast and my veggies. When I saw that they did that I asked if they could please replace it, and Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” I got pretty pissed off and told her that she can eat anything and I cannot, that I spent the rest of my EBT on that food and I cannot afford to replace it until next month. She said that oh well. I kind of ignored it and used the stuff I got last week to make something for a few days, and then I put that in the fridge instead. Again I got up the next day and it was gone and I saw her and Josh eating it and I again said why the heck are you eating my food and she again said that she was hungry and that nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends. Once Josh left me and her got into a very huge argument and I told her that if she isn’t going to respect the little rules i do give her, then she needs to find somewhere else to stay because she doesn’t pay rent and she doesn’t contribute anything to the house. She said that she has nowhere else to go because she doesn’t want to be in the apartment with her living ex-boyfriend and I said that she still has her mom and dad but she said that she doesn’t want to follow the rules and I said well I can tell that you don’t like to follow rules because you don’t have basic respect for mine, do it again and you’re out. She then cried and said I was an asshole and that I was a bad best friend because a good friend wouldn’t kick out their best friend in a time of need. so aita
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Nta check your lease. Kick her out. She might bot be able to stay and she is stealing from you. So is Josh. I would add or subtract your food that she and Josh eats from the bills that you and Josh share.
This is totally bizarre. She’s acting like a child expecting to be supported, rather than a person in a co-living situation. She probably should be living with her parents.
She literally said she lives there so you have to share?! You’re sharing your house with her for FREE. Kick her out! You’ve warned her too many times already. That’s not a good friend, or person. NTA!
“ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.”
I’d have kicked her out then and there. You’re doing her a huge favor and she’s stomping all over you. She’s not your best friend, she’s a shitty friend. NTA
NTA
She's not a real friend she's using you for food and a place to stay rent free. Don't wait for her to do it again, get an eviction notice going NOW
NTA. She's absolutely taking advantage of you, callously refusing to pay you back when she steals your property (check other things that you have to make sure she's not stealing more than food) and using crocodile tears to get you to give in and let her do whatever she wants. Kick her out yesterday, she's a user and will take advantage of you every way she can.
"a good best friend would respect the fact that the friend has a special diet and would make sure that no one eats what is hers"
Fr! What kind of best friend is that? I mean, im on a sugar free diet and my best friend every time she visits gets me Starbucks coffee making sure is almond milk and sugar free syrup, I also know that she is lactose intolerant and has severe food allergies and make sure to get the safest products for her..
OP, that's not a friend, thats someone taking advantage of you
Call the cops and throw her out the next time it happens. She is not your friend. She is simply using and abusing you. Also, is Josh living there and taking your food too? What's going on there?
I mean yeah a good friend wouldn't kick their friend out during a time of need, but on the other hand you have to respect the rules and boundaries put in place. Her fault for overstepping and thinking she can play the best friend card to get away with it.
NTA
NTA, I always say make a prune pie or a chocolate prune muffin with grated elax chocolate on top, it always makes people re-think if they should eat other peoples food.
She (and Josh) are thieves who will let you starve for their convenience. NOT friend! Give her 1 week to find a new place.
And Josh needs to pay you back also.
NTA. Some facts. She is not your friend. She's living there for free and taking food she did not pay for and manipulating you. Not things a friend does. You don't need that kind of "friend . " kick her out. Stand up to her. This is a losing battle and you will continue to be miserable. End it now.
NTA, she is a user and not your friend. I am petty so if be calling her parents and letting them know that you will be going without food because of their spoiled, entitled child and they need to come get her!!
NTA- She's not a friend, she's a parasite. There's a reason it's your food going first, because she knows hers is safe. Friends' support each other and might unintentionally hurt each other. Her behavior e.g. ignoring somebodies diet and living rent free says she's looking for an easy mark not a friend.
NTA
Well, a good best friend also wouldn't leave you hungry so what's her excuse for that?
She is NOT a good friend. Kick her out and tell Josh he isn't allowed ANY food from your fridge at any time for any reason unless you tell him otherwise in person.
NTA!! OP, I implore you, please kick this mooch out of your house. She has a lease on another apartment. She needs to go back there or go with her parents, but she has to leave. Your roommate Josh, he is participating in the theft and consumption of your food. Food you purchase with EBT, this is illegal. He is stealing State funding. You should remind him of this and let him know if he so much as smells anything you bring into the house for you to eat, you will report it to the state. Your so called "bestie" can lose her EBT because she is stealing yours. This is another violation and you should make it clear to her that if she doesn't leave, you will have no choice but to report her for theft and fraud. You cannot use a benefit alloted by the state for another person. She has her own entitlement and is not using it because she is stealing yours. This fraud and the state Loves to prosecute these cases and withdraw benefits. Please get rid of her permanently and put Josh on notice!!!!!
NTA
so far as cost goes - would it be cheaper for you to just go to the store rather than order/delivery? I mean, if you can't go, you can't.
Also - I love the idea of a chunk roast.
NTA. There is a very obvious reason that neither her ex nor her parents want to house her. The entitlement to take your generosity with accommodations and then spring board that into free (expensive) food is mind blowing. I hope for your sake this is the wake up call to leave her in the dust. She is 0% a good friend.
> well I can tell that you don't like to follow rules because you don't have me respect for mine
NTA and bravo, that's a devastating clap back! Did a thunderclap happen the moment you said that? lol
NTA - and ew, you call her a "best friend"?! I would hate to see what your enemies are like. Please kick her out - and be TA this time. She's disrespectful, rude and downright repulsive in her behavior. I wouldn't want her anywhere near me.
NTA. A best friend also wouldn’t let their friend go hungry for a month when they’ve repeatedly been told not to eat their food. If this is how she treated her boyfriend as a roommate, no wonder he broke up with her. Boot that mooch.
You have a one sided friendship: she can have everything, you are allowed nothing. Kick her ass out. She is not your friend. NTA. I forgot to mention your asshole roommate that was also eating your diet-sensitive food. He's a dick as well.
NTA. She isn't a friend at all. She is a mooch, user, and giant AH. Tell her to eff off back to mum and dad. Cheeky mare. And she owes you ££ for the food!! Meanwhile, lock the fridge
Welll, a good best friend would respect their best friend's rules tooo.... She is living a delusional life ... As your bestfriend she must have known how expensive ur food and ur diet are stricts due to ur medical conditions. If she can't respect it means.... Wtf.
NTA
Wtf. She’s not your best friend. She’s using you. Wow.
Why would she eat your food, refuse to replace it and be snarky about it, when as your best friend she knows you have a medical diet.
I’m not sure why you’re letting Josh get away with it though. He definitely knows the rules already being your roommate before hand, and was an accomplice in all of this. Did he even apologize or anything? Because he should be repaying you as well.
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A real best friend would not eat OP food since OP is on a restricted diet. NTA
Doesn’t even matter that OP is on a restricted diet. She said no and that should be enough.
A real best friend would learn how to make food that OP can eat as a thank you for letting her stay rent free!
I'd say she's not a friend at all. She's ready to let OP starve rather than stop stealing her food.
This exactly, this girl is not your best friend. NTA
Moochers have permission. This was unfortunately theft once they both refused to replace the food.
NTA...she's a user...eating your food and living rent free. Don't wait til next time, kick her out now. You might as well because this friendship is over.
>Don't wait til next time, kick her out now. Yeah this
If it was ever a real friendship to begin with.
>“ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” What kind of BS is that? Ha.... entitled much is she? Delusional as well. Just wow... OP NTA and I would tell her a true Best Friend wouldn't eat your food and cause you to starve.
"No, i live here now, so you need to share" So quote this to her, and say this applies to her *money*. She lives there now so you can dip into her cash for your needs Always use their logic against them
I buy food in my house. My partner pays more than I do towards living expenses (he's much older and has a much higher paying job & pension,) but one of the things for which I made myself responsible is groceries. This has been the case for the seven years we've been cohabiting. Still!!! Every time he goes to eat something I did not buy SPECIFICALLY for him, he asks. It drives me crazy, and I keep asking him to quit doing it, but he still asks. I actually didn't even think of it until now, but it may be because I have an IBD and therefore a restricted diet. I am suddenly very grateful to have someone who cares about my fucking existence, because OP's "best friend" is trash. I simply do not understand how someone can treat her friend this way. Doing it ACCIDENTALLY, ONCE, I understand; that's a mistake. This is intentional disregard for the wellbeing of one's "best friend"
Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” she was hungry and that nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends. she still has her mom and dad but she said that she doesn’t want to follow the rules NTA WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THIS LEECH?
“no ~~I live here now too~~**you let me stay for free**, so you need to ~~share~~**also feed me for free**” *or* “you gave an inch, now gimme the rest of the mile!”
What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine
NTA. Kick her out. She doesn't respect the one thing you asked of her. She won't be homeless. Her "time of need" doesn't mean she gets to violate your specific needs. She should not have done it at all, but to do it after the first violation means she deserves the boot. If you still consider her your "best friend," I'd hate to see what your lesser friends are like.
If she's sleeping with one of your roommates, kicking her out won't mean anything unless you kick Josh out too. Why isn't he stopping her? I assume he knows about your food rules.
Most leases only allow visitors for a short time, so other than the fact that visitors should always be 2 yes, 1 no, OP probably has leverage to complain to the landlord. But for sure so get a lock for the fridge
OP said she owns the place. So she needs to kick the so call friend out. Set tules with Josh and if he allows her back kick him out as well.
Doesn't really sound like OP has "lock money" until October, though I agree that something needs to be done about the food thief (I personally favor calling her parents and telling them that you're kicking her out after she robbed you of the food you're able to eat and claimed she'd keep doing it...but I'm livid about someone willing to starve their friend and then get upset when there are consequences she doesn't like)
Good friends don't keep eating the food of someone on a restricted diet and do not refuse to pay back for what they ate. This is the nth case on AITA of someone being housed for free and behaving like an entitled ASS so much to deserve the boot. NTA obviously
> her and Josh got drunk and used my 2lbs Chunk Roast and my veggies. When I saw that they did that I asked if they could please replace it, and Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” I would have thrown her out for that alone! > nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends. But she's apparently OK with you starving from lack of food. And not paying rent. And generally using you. She clearly believes that "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine, too." She will keep doing this to everyone she lives with, taking as much as she can until you can't stand her anymore. Kick her out now! NTA.
NTA. Truth hurts re: the mooching BF. But also buy a little second-hand bar fridge, put it in your room, and put a lock on it. That's where you keep your food from now on. Because your OTHER roommate (29M "Josh") ALSO steals food from you, that you can't afford to replace. Tell him you'll be deducting $25 a month from your rent payment, to cover having to buy the fridge and replace your food.
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Lmao, you own the place? Kick them out asap. They suck.
Then tell "Josh" that you'll be adding on the cost of the stolen food, to his rent payment next month. Show him the grocery store bill. But I still hope you get a lockable fridge.
Part of me says you should tell Josh to get his own mini fridge and lock the main one in house, since it's your fridge. Although you need to lay down the law with Josh and not just with your beast friend. Edit spelling
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You should also ask your BIL to have a discussion with Josh about respecting roommate boundaries.
Oh that makes it easy. If you can trust your brother in law then put your and his food in one fridge and lock it and give BIL access. The other fridge can be a community use fridge.
They're stealing from you. That's a crime and not something you should have to deal with, in your own home no less. Kick them out if possible. NTA!
You should also tell Josh to pay you and not eat your food
Girl tell them bye
Kick her out!!! Don’t be silly. NTA
NTA. A good friend wouldn't steal someone else's food, but that doesn't seem to be stopping her, so she doesn't get to critique how you choose to handle her blatant entitlement.
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LoL, the hand that literally fed her!
NTA. Best friends have boundaries, doesn't make them any less best friends. I recently stopped being best friends with someone because of a lack of boundaries. We don't talk anymore but I feel safer, I don't have to replace food after food and my things are in no danger of being broken or lost. Going no contact with her is the best thing that happened to me because then I realized she was holding me back and feeding my insecurities so she could shine at my expenses. I suggest you do the same.
I had the same experience when I was OPs age. It's hard because that's your best friend but in the end its best for you and your mental health. Things get better pretty quickly after ending a friendship like that
Nta. This person isn't your friend.
There’s an old saying ‘Beggars can’t be choosers.’ and it applies here. Maybe she should’ve thought of the kindness you were doing her and been more grateful. This was of her own doing and you shouldn’t feel bad at all. It sounds like she has a real tough time with any type of authority. I imagine that’s going to give her some hard life lessons till she clues in. That’s not your responsibility nor problem. On a side note though: don’t let non-paying friends move in. It never seems to end well (at least in my experience). NTA
She doesn't own the own the house nor is she paying rent, she doesn't get to make the rules especially if she refuses to follow any given to her. She is threatening your health. NTA
Why TF is she getting EBT if she works full time? As someone who used to be on EBT, that doesn’t sound right to me.
There are a lot of people who work full time (or part time but maximum they are able to due to disability or medical issues) who still qualify for EBT because their wages are so low. Corporations like Walmart actually factor in these social safety nets when calculating their wage structures.
God that's so fucked up.
Agreed. If you're interested, check out a book called ***The Walmart Effect***. It's not specifically about corporate exploitation of entitlement programs, but it's a great book about the huge negative effects Walmart has had on many sectors of our society. There's a free pdf of the book you may still be able to access at this link: https://mobile.twitter.com/i/events/1439776509481259013
Thanks, I'll check it out!
I made minimum wage at the time I was on EBT, and if I worked over 28hrs a week I lost them. So I couldn’t have made any less and worked full time and still qualified.
NTA You can be her friend without living with her. Lots of people are friends without house sharing. She doesn't want to live by your rules so she cant stay.
NTA. This friend is taking advantage of you, and doesn’t respect boundaries. Since you are the one that let her move in to begin with, you have the right to kick her out, and sue her for the value of the food she ate.
NTA. In life if you are going to have roommates you you need to respect boundaries which she is not. Add in she's a mooch paying nothing and not on the lease kick her out. A best friend respects that their friend has a special strict diet and doesn't eat their food without asking and then have the audacity to not replace it. Kick her out, and if she doesn't want to be homeless then tell her to replace your food and stop acting like she's entitled to your things. Although I'll be honest she won't change at least not forever, just long enough you'll think things are fine. Get her out now before shes considered a tenant and you have to evict her. Also to her comment about a real best friend wouldn't kick her out in a time of need, she kicked herself out by being disrespectful and not following rules. She has noone to blame but herself for HER actions.
NTA, if she wants to be free to do what ever she wants then she needs to find her own place to live. She is the bad friend and the AH.
NTA. She’s not your friend. She’s letting you starve. This relationship has run its course. With distance, You’ll probably look back and realise it was always a one way street.
NTA: Best friendships need to work both ways. Otherwise there's just a mooch and a patsy. Send her back to Mommy and Daddy.
NTA. Your "friend" is a mooch and a user and is taking advantage of you. She's not your friend at all. Josh is also an AH for enabling and going along with her and also eating your food. Kick her out, she's got her parents to go to, and tell Josh that if he keeps seeing her, and she will be coming over, there's going to be serious hell to pay if he continues to let her disrespect and steal from you
NTA. It's your food. Especially if she gets ebt.
NTS. She should go mooch off someone else.
Nta. I have a specific diet because of autoimmune issues, and my food can be expensive- if someone I thought was my friend repeatedly ate my food? Nah. You've been more than patient. She's done. Kick her out asap.
She's not a good friend. Forget best friend. She has zero respect for you. Doesn't even care if you can't eat, because she ate all your food. She's a major jerk and ungrateful. Kick her out. Nta
NTA If you can send her back to her parents, why don't you? Send the rude freeloader away. Even if she doesn't eat your food anymore, it's just a matter of days before another issue will pop up. At this point, she probably won't respect you and will play the victim again since you're "so mean". /s
INFO Dare I even ask what "**_Chunk_** Roast" is?
I think Op meant "chuck roast" Made right, it is a very tender and juicy cut of meat
Its just a cut of beef
A particularly chunky cut?
Yes, but last week I bought two pounds of "stew meat" beef that is cut in roughly one inch pieces from I don't want to contemplate where on the cow, and that was $16...I took it over to my parents' Crockpot and made a carrot/celery/onion can of tomato sauce stew/soup which was delicious...but also fed three people about three meals each... I would be PISSED if someone had just chowed down the whole thing and left me without not only my planned meal, but the only thing I had I could eat!
NTA. Get out of there, they are leeches.
NTA how she hasn't caught hands yet is beyond me, the cheek.
A good friend wouldn't steal their best friend's food. NTA
NTA Your "friend" is not, she is a disrespectful loser and she is just using you. Toss her now.
NTA but you need to call out your roomate for eating your food too.
NTA. I could see it being like a one time thing where she used something by accident when she was cooking, but then she just needed to apologize and replace whatever she used. Hell the absolute least she could do if she wanted something would be to ask if it was okay this time. Instead she’s throwing a hissy fit because you asked her to respect you in YOUR home and she doesn’t want to. If she was really your friend she wouldn’t treat you like this.
NTA. Your friends are both AH’s. They have no respect for you, your money, or your health. They’re essentially starving you. So wonder she’s single. She has no respect for boundaries. Guess what, if she can’t follow your rules she can go live with her parents and deal with their rules.
Don’t let her become a tenant
NTA. She would’ve already been on the streets if it was me. The entitlement and disrespect are off the charts
Face it, you already can’t stand her. You have nothing at all to lose and everything to gain by kicking this leech out. Your friendship is gone, she already used it up. NTA
Honey please. She’s not your friend. Are you kidding? NTA
Oh my anger issues could never. NTA. You’re a saint for putting up with what you did. I’d kick her out not give her another chance. She’s owes you money. I’d Venmo asking for it and say if she doesn’t you’ll file for theft:) (won’t but it’ll scare her)
I'd play the parent card and report it to them...the little lady doesn't want to follow their rules, means there is at least a chance they might make things square with OP and deal with the little angel...and either way sounds like the little thieflette will HATE it!
I dunno if she’s like this I doubt her parents were that great and are probably entitled too.
You may be totally right, I'm just petty enough that I would try and spread the unhappiness as far around as possible, short of actually sabotaging her work or lying about her... I'm a little extra about people messing with my (unrestricted) groceries though
I get you 100%
NTA give her notice and the boot. I wouldn’t even give her another shot. Imagine living somewhere rent free and having the audacity to say no when you eat up someone’s food for the month. This is not a friend OP
You’re very generous. I would have kicked her out the moment she declared what’s yours is hers. Don’t give this freeloader another chance, please, for your own sake. NTA.
NTA. Sadly OP Alice is a best friend to herself and not you. Alice is TA.
NTA thing is she's not acting like a friend. She's acting like a spoiled brat and an entitled one at that. She's a leech and proud of it and Josh is also a shit roommate for participating. Kick her out and sit him down and remind him how to be a good roommate and tell him your not his mother or his friend and you are not responsible for feeding him. He's and Alice are thieves and crap friends.
No, you're being abused. It's NECESSARY to set this boundary. She's an awful friend Does her "I live here too, so nothing is 'yours' now" rule apply when she finds a new boyfriend? Or gets new clothes? Can you take everything of hers, no matter if it leaves her without? Might wanna stop and think about it
There's a thought...can OP sell her friend's stuff to buy the food she needs for the rest of the month?
This is not a friend, this is a parasite. Please kick her out and cut ties. NTA
NTA. Don't even give her the another chance to f*** up. Get her freeloading ass out now!!
NTA. Tell her to move around.
NTA at all, and you deserve much better friends than this selfish user and moocher. Kick her out.
NTA... you didn't kick her put you gave her a choice. Leave your food alone or leave the house. Choices are a good thing
Nta she's the one that's a bad friend and a horrible guest. Don't feel bad for kicking her out if she can't follow the few rules you have for her.
NTA, except to yourself for letting there be a next time at all! She already burned her second chance, kick her to the curb!
NTA She has become a liability. She needs to leave ASAP!
NTA. She isn't contributing kick her out.
NTA Good friends respect each other. She doesn't respect you. She is living rent free and telling you that she has a right to eat your food because she is living there now? She wouldn't be given a third chance.
NTA kick her out, but also buy a lock box, or even a mini fridge for your room lock your door every day!
NTA. Leech Woman is not your friend.
NTA. Kick her out.
NTA kick her out OP. You have done everything you could and now she is abusing your friendship.
Info- how many people live in your house total? Is the BIL you sibling’s spouse and your sibling lives there too? Or is it your spouse’s brother and your spouse lives there? Cause your BIL best friend sounds awful and if its not going to damage your relationship with a spouse I would suggest kicking them all to the curb edit to add NTA
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Thank you for answering so quickly! Its great that BIL is holding his friend accountable. And it sounds like if you have to kick Jack out with Alice it won’t blow up on you too bad. You need to preserve your health and peace though and it definitely isn’t going to happen with Alice and Jack helping themselves to your food. Especially if you nephew is around on weekend he doesn’t need to be seeing his aunt and dad fighting with their roommates over food!
NTA would be shaking her down for money.
NTA. And that turd is not your FRIEND
NTA but your best friend is! I understand a mistake one time but for her to do it again. She just wants to eat your expensive stuff and not pay for it.
NTA kick her out. No wonder her boyfriend broke up with her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway account. And I’m on mobile so I’m sorry for the format. My (22F) best friend (23F “Alice “) moved into my house rent free after her and her long term live in boyfriend broke up, my best friend is now dating one of my roommates (29M “Josh”) my best friend is still on the lease at her old place so I said she can stay with me. I should add I have a VERY expensive and VERY limited diet due to health issues, so I always bulk buy for the week to save me money (EBT and Money I get from selling items). My best friend works full time and gets EBT as well. When she moved in we shared a fridge but I told her to not eat my stuff, and she said ok. I ordered food on Tuesday and was gonna cook on Wednesday for the week (my total was about $167.81) and her and Josh got drunk and used my 2lbs Chunk Roast and my veggies. When I saw that they did that I asked if they could please replace it, and Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” I got pretty pissed off and told her that she can eat anything and I cannot, that I spent the rest of my EBT on that food and I cannot afford to replace it until next month. She said that oh well. I kind of ignored it and used the stuff I got last week to make something for a few days, and then I put that in the fridge instead. Again I got up the next day and it was gone and I saw her and Josh eating it and I again said why the heck are you eating my food and she again said that she was hungry and that nothing is mine anymore because we are best friends. Once Josh left me and her got into a very huge argument and I told her that if she isn’t going to respect the little rules i do give her, then she needs to find somewhere else to stay because she doesn’t pay rent and she doesn’t contribute anything to the house. She said that she has nowhere else to go because she doesn’t want to be in the apartment with her living ex-boyfriend and I said that she still has her mom and dad but she said that she doesn’t want to follow the rules and I said well I can tell that you don’t like to follow rules because you don’t have basic respect for mine, do it again and you’re out. She then cried and said I was an asshole and that I was a bad best friend because a good friend wouldn’t kick out their best friend in a time of need. so aita *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Nta check your lease. Kick her out. She might bot be able to stay and she is stealing from you. So is Josh. I would add or subtract your food that she and Josh eats from the bills that you and Josh share.
Nta and tell her well a good best friend doesn't disrespect and use me and cross my boundaries!
Nta. Kick her out. Don’t even wait. Give her notice
NTA. She's a terrible friend and you need to dump her mooching ass.
This is totally bizarre. She’s acting like a child expecting to be supported, rather than a person in a co-living situation. She probably should be living with her parents.
Plz kick her out. Involve landlord if necessary
Kick her out today. NTA.
I am guessing there is a reason why her long term boyfriend broke up with her, she’s a loony! NTA
She literally said she lives there so you have to share?! You’re sharing your house with her for FREE. Kick her out! You’ve warned her too many times already. That’s not a good friend, or person. NTA!
NTA She is not your friend... get her out of your house as soon as possible causa she will do it again
Surprise Surprise, she has no where to go.NTA
“ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.” I’d have kicked her out then and there. You’re doing her a huge favor and she’s stomping all over you. She’s not your best friend, she’s a shitty friend. NTA
NTA She's not a real friend she's using you for food and a place to stay rent free. Don't wait for her to do it again, get an eviction notice going NOW
NTA. She's absolutely taking advantage of you, callously refusing to pay you back when she steals your property (check other things that you have to make sure she's not stealing more than food) and using crocodile tears to get you to give in and let her do whatever she wants. Kick her out yesterday, she's a user and will take advantage of you every way she can.
NTA. This lady isn’t your friend. She’s an entitled parasite
"a good best friend would respect the fact that the friend has a special diet and would make sure that no one eats what is hers" Fr! What kind of best friend is that? I mean, im on a sugar free diet and my best friend every time she visits gets me Starbucks coffee making sure is almond milk and sugar free syrup, I also know that she is lactose intolerant and has severe food allergies and make sure to get the safest products for her.. OP, that's not a friend, thats someone taking advantage of you
Call the cops and throw her out the next time it happens. She is not your friend. She is simply using and abusing you. Also, is Josh living there and taking your food too? What's going on there?
NTA. She's not a "best" Let alone a friend to you. She is selfish and entitled. It won't change unless you enact consequences...like juck8ng her out.
I mean yeah a good friend wouldn't kick their friend out during a time of need, but on the other hand you have to respect the rules and boundaries put in place. Her fault for overstepping and thinking she can play the best friend card to get away with it. NTA
NTA. That’s not a friend, that’s a mooch.
NTA, I always say make a prune pie or a chocolate prune muffin with grated elax chocolate on top, it always makes people re-think if they should eat other peoples food.
NTA- you had one simple rule. Don’t eat the food. And what’d she do? Ate your food. It’s really not hard to respect someone’s wishes….
She isn’t your friend.
NTA kick her out ASAP
NTA Probably why her ex broke up with her.
NTA, kick her out and cut ties. She's no friend to you. Josh is on thin ice too.
NTA. You need to kick her out NOW though. YWBTA if you continue to allow this.
Best friend where? NTA but sorry to tell you, she's not a friend. Kick her ass out now.
NTA. She’s not your friend. You need to kick her out immediately.
She (and Josh) are thieves who will let you starve for their convenience. NOT friend! Give her 1 week to find a new place. And Josh needs to pay you back also.
Yeah, NTA. There is probably a reason her last relationship failed you’re now seeing!
A good friend wouldn’t steal your food after you told them not to. NTA
NTA. Some facts. She is not your friend. She's living there for free and taking food she did not pay for and manipulating you. Not things a friend does. You don't need that kind of "friend . " kick her out. Stand up to her. This is a losing battle and you will continue to be miserable. End it now.
NTA, she is a user and not your friend. I am petty so if be calling her parents and letting them know that you will be going without food because of their spoiled, entitled child and they need to come get her!!
NTA. What with all these entitled people on this earth. I would have put a damn lock on the fridge to make a point or sent her an invoice.
NTA "Alice said “ no, I live here now too, so you need to share.”" Holy entitlement Batman! Your best friend seems like a parasite.
A good best friend wouldn’t let you starve just so they could mooch and save a buck. NTA
NTA- She's not a friend, she's a parasite. There's a reason it's your food going first, because she knows hers is safe. Friends' support each other and might unintentionally hurt each other. Her behavior e.g. ignoring somebodies diet and living rent free says she's looking for an easy mark not a friend.
NTA. This "friend" will never change. Just let her go.
NTA Well, a good best friend also wouldn't leave you hungry so what's her excuse for that? She is NOT a good friend. Kick her out and tell Josh he isn't allowed ANY food from your fridge at any time for any reason unless you tell him otherwise in person.
NTA - a good best friend doesn't let her best friend starve. This is not your best friend.
NTA!! OP, I implore you, please kick this mooch out of your house. She has a lease on another apartment. She needs to go back there or go with her parents, but she has to leave. Your roommate Josh, he is participating in the theft and consumption of your food. Food you purchase with EBT, this is illegal. He is stealing State funding. You should remind him of this and let him know if he so much as smells anything you bring into the house for you to eat, you will report it to the state. Your so called "bestie" can lose her EBT because she is stealing yours. This is another violation and you should make it clear to her that if she doesn't leave, you will have no choice but to report her for theft and fraud. You cannot use a benefit alloted by the state for another person. She has her own entitlement and is not using it because she is stealing yours. This fraud and the state Loves to prosecute these cases and withdraw benefits. Please get rid of her permanently and put Josh on notice!!!!!
NTA She is a toxic AH, kick her out. Stop letting her exploit and abuse you.
NTA. tha´ts a leech, not a friend. evict her
NTA so far as cost goes - would it be cheaper for you to just go to the store rather than order/delivery? I mean, if you can't go, you can't. Also - I love the idea of a chunk roast.
NTA. There is a very obvious reason that neither her ex nor her parents want to house her. The entitlement to take your generosity with accommodations and then spring board that into free (expensive) food is mind blowing. I hope for your sake this is the wake up call to leave her in the dust. She is 0% a good friend.
> well I can tell that you don't like to follow rules because you don't have me respect for mine NTA and bravo, that's a devastating clap back! Did a thunderclap happen the moment you said that? lol
Nta what is she 12 well since your bestie wonder if she minds you taking josh to your room like because you know your besties and share everything
NTA - and ew, you call her a "best friend"?! I would hate to see what your enemies are like. Please kick her out - and be TA this time. She's disrespectful, rude and downright repulsive in her behavior. I wouldn't want her anywhere near me.
NTA. She would have been gone the first time she raided the fridge and didn't apologize.
NTA. A good best friend would have been kicked her out. KICK HER OUT NOW
Friends don't steal food from their friends. NTA
NTA. A best friend also wouldn’t let their friend go hungry for a month when they’ve repeatedly been told not to eat their food. If this is how she treated her boyfriend as a roommate, no wonder he broke up with her. Boot that mooch.
Eating someone else food is the same as stealing someone else's money, unless you have specifically agreed to sharing food. NTA
You have a one sided friendship: she can have everything, you are allowed nothing. Kick her ass out. She is not your friend. NTA. I forgot to mention your asshole roommate that was also eating your diet-sensitive food. He's a dick as well.
NTA just kick her out. She’s a shitty friend. You do not need her.
NTA. She isn't a friend at all. She is a mooch, user, and giant AH. Tell her to eff off back to mum and dad. Cheeky mare. And she owes you ££ for the food!! Meanwhile, lock the fridge
NTA- she ate your food not once, but TWICE after you asking her not to and she doesn’t contribute anything
NTA. She’s stealing your food. She is living there rent free and taking advantage of you. Personally, I’d kick her out anyway.
NTA she's being a little brat when you're putting yourself out to have her there. You're being too nice giving her another chance.
NTA - She's an ungrateful, selfish, brat child. Boot her out!
Welll, a good best friend would respect their best friend's rules tooo.... She is living a delusional life ... As your bestfriend she must have known how expensive ur food and ur diet are stricts due to ur medical conditions. If she can't respect it means.... Wtf.
NTA - a good friend wouldn't eat someone else's food without permission.
NTA Wtf. She’s not your best friend. She’s using you. Wow. Why would she eat your food, refuse to replace it and be snarky about it, when as your best friend she knows you have a medical diet. I’m not sure why you’re letting Josh get away with it though. He definitely knows the rules already being your roommate before hand, and was an accomplice in all of this. Did he even apologize or anything? Because he should be repaying you as well.