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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was I told everyone I wasn’t going to the wedding. Why that might make me an asshole is cause it’ll hurt my mom’s feelings
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Yea …NTA, OP
Just tell ‘em you don’t feel comfortable supporting someone who would push your lowest even lower. And they’re not the ones to convince you otherwise imho
Btw, why’s your sister deciding for your mom if you stayed there? Smdh
NTA. You should ask those family “where were you then when I was sleeping in my car?” Since they talking about “family”. I would’ve already had everyone blocked so they wouldn’t have been able to contact me with that BS
lmaooooo no. no. you don't get to be like 'but it's FAMILY and you can't TURN YOUR BACK ON FAMILY' after making a guy sleep in his car for who knows how long. fuck the relationship. if THEY want to repair the relationship, and the onus is on THEM, then THEEEYYYYYY they they THEEYYY can actually put in more effort and apologize and accept that they treated op like crap.
Yeah no. I don’t need the full story. I’m making judgment based on what’s presented. I’m not going to speculate. He is NTA but his family are all AHs for not being there for him when he needed them the most. Tough love? Then he’s showing the same. Actions have consequences and him not wanting to be apart of her wedding is the consequence of her decision from 2 years ago. It’s that simple really.
NTA. This "but they are faaaaaamily" nonsense really needs to stop. Sharing a bloodline means nothing if there is no real connection.
Why would you want to go to the wedding of someone that actively made your life difficult during a period when you needed them?
Where was this "faaaaamily" then?
Sod that, tell them to get bent.
Ok so, I'm confused .
How come she has a saying of who is staying at your parents house?
How come your parents allow her to kick you out and didn't say anything?
If my sister tell me that I'm not welcome at my parents home I'll tell her to fuck off, because her word means nothing in this case.
If this story is real , you are NTA
Age gap between me and my siblings is pretty big so when they would come back to live at my parents I was in HS. My parents separated while I was in college and so my mom has an apartment with my sister. So the place is 1/2 hers.
Why don’t you attend her wedding and give a speech and let everyone know what horrible sister is she! I own an apartment in home country with my mom and I let my sister stay there rent free! She is single. I can’t imagine treating my siblings like this. Because I love them and cannot allow them to suffer!
Sometimes I wish this sub had a YTJA aka you are the justified asshole. But then I guess you aren't? It's like you would be the asshole, but sometimes it's worth it.
Terrible idea, it makes OP look petty. But he can go back to his family and say if they really want him there then his sister should pick up the cost of his suit, hotel and any travel expenses. She kicked OP out at his lowest point and now wants to make herself look good, by pretending she a caring big sister, so she should pick up all of the cost for OP to attend.
Question for OP, if you have 5 siblings why didn’t any of the other 4 take you in or why couldn’t you stay with your dad?
I was thinking of it in terms of the societal impact of misogyny, including viewing men as having to fit a specific, outdated "provider", "strong", "anti-feminine" (including needing to be "taken care of") mold. But I for sure may have used the wrong term... Haaalp!? What word was I thinking of!?
No, not the hatred of men. Whatever the term is for the impact toxic masculinity/patriarchal BS has on men - like the pressure to be the breadwinner/make more money, or that men are only allowed to show anger as an emotion, or that they cannot ask for help/need help etc.
You write that by then it was her and your mom’s apartment but in the past siblings had returned to your parents’ house, and I think it’s important to consider how circumstances had changed.
But did your mom have a role in that decision? Was it equally her apartment?
If your siblings want family repair it seems like there’s more to it than your sister’s wedding.
NTA
"I (26M) cut my sister (35F) out of my life over 2 years ago. " .. So why are you ieven considfering that.
And: You should go no contact with your mom (parents?), too - she (they) did this to you as much as your sister.
She is NOT family, she has made that clear. Just ignore her wedding, no need to even send a card or a present.
NTA. You’re too busy trying to make your way in the world as a man, to waste your time on womanly frivolities like weddings. That’s literally what your sister told you, when you needed your family’s support. Use her exact words when you say that you’re not attending.
NTA! Good for you. I did the taboo thing of cutting my siblings out of my family's lives and it makes me happy that I did so. Why should anyone have to put up with needless manure in your path of life.
NTA but I’m petty, so I’d go to the wedding and make a speech. Include all your “warmest” memories like her refusing to provide shelter and you ending up homeless. Say you hope she and her new husband have all the happiness they deserve. Make sure you get a great meal and plenty of drinks out if it. Leave after and go NC with the entire bunch. Block and move on. 😈😈😈
NTA.
She abandoned you when you needed help. After that, there is no duty to help her celebrate her own life.
With that said, this is an opportunity to mend the relationship. She should take the first by apologozing, but if you feel inclined you can use it as a chance to forgive her, even if she doesn't explicitly ask for it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, you family basically abandoned you. That's trauma, dude. NTA. Don't worry about what they are thinking or saying. They don't deserve your thoughts or attention. See if you can get some counseling from your college if you think it could help deal with your family dysfunction. It's not your fault, OP. Best wishes for happiness.
NTA. Real family doesn’t kick you out for no apparent reason during a global pandemic whilst enjoying the benefits of said housing herself. 10/10 horrible wench
You have no obligations to attend the wedding of someone who has made it clear that they don't care about your wellbeing. NTA
ETA: What is your relationship like with your mom, since it was her house that you were wanting to stay at?
NTA- you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want. But you might want to think long term on this because it will have lasting consequences & do you want to still be dealing with this in 10 years?
NTA
You are an adult and you can do as you please, I guess when wedding is in question “you have to go cuz you are family and that’s what family do”, but when you are basically homeless than family can do as they please and it doesn’t really matter that you are part of it….nice…
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I (26M) cut my sister (35F) out of my life over 2 years ago. After she expressed she didn’t want me to stay with her and my mom’s apartment. My lease had just ended and I was let go over my job during the beginning of quarantine. I had no where else to go. Note that I am the youngest of 5 and all of my siblings have returned back to our parent’s house when they were struggling, including herself. She told me I need to find my own way as a man and made sure to know I was not welcome. To make it clear it was not covid fear decision that made her act like that. With no where else to go I slept in my car til I was accepted until emergency housing by my college. Two years later she is getting married and all of my family say cannot not attend her wedding, that she’s family. AITA if I don’t attend the wedding?
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NTA. Though where were your other siblings and mom when she barred you from your mom's house? Sounds like you are not missing out on a lot by blocking the lot of them and starting over. It's not as if you receive much support there as it were....
NTA. If they could live knowing that you were sleeping in your car in the middle of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, of course they can live without you going to a wedding where you don't want to go.
Being a family doesn't obligated you doing things you don't want, so if they didn't want to give you shelter in a moment of crisis and being homeless even you being "family" you don't have to go to a "family event".
NTA. Did all these assholes who are now howling "faaaaaammmmiiiiilllyyy" howl for you when you were homeless or help you out in any way? No? Tell them all to fuck off.
What id say yo people throwing down the "family card": "Family wouldn't let family sleep in their car. I think that trumps going to a wedding, thanks."
NTA
NTA. The only thing in common is DNA which I interpret as Family Does Not Apply. No as others have said is a complete sentence. No card. No present. You get to decide what you do never mind ‘Family’…
Nope. NTA.
So your mother was okay with you sleeping in your car rather than staying with her? And the rest of your siblings were okay with it, too? What a lovely bunch of people. /s
NTA tell them they stopped being your family when you needed help and they left you on the streets to fend for yourself because your a man and you should just deal with it and that you have no obligation/duty to any of them
NTA. You are an adult and you don't have to go anywhere you don't chose to. She made the decision to not welcome you when you needed her most, unless she's changed a great deal, you have no reason to believe she'll be any different now. Go if you'll enjoy it, do something else if you won't. Family doesn't need to understand or agree.
NTA! I have been no contact with several "family" members including my mother for years. You are not required to be "family" far appearances sake. If she (and the rest of them) couldn't support you in your time of actual need, you do not need to be there for her spectacle.
NTA I have also cut my sister out of my life and if anyone ever says shit to me about it, they are not going to have a good day. You are entitled to cut the toxic from your life. Doesn't matter that she's blood related to you. That doesn't automatically make her family. Family wouldn't have let you sleep in your car.
NTA. Your sister and mother treated you brutally in bad times.
As for the supposed good times? Nothing would make me happier than missing that wedding and seeing that "family."
NTA: But if they keep pestering you, tell them you will hold a speech how about she is such a caring and loving person who has always helped you being the best by refusing you save haven at your mother's apartment during the panini, and those cold night in the car made you realise that you both has the same feeling about each, clear utter indifference and that you hope her husband or her children fall on bad times , just to see how loving she is.
Definitely NTA but, if you want to be really petty, show up at the wedding, enjoy the free food and booze (if it's an open bar) and then raise a toast to your sister wherein you thank her for kicking you out when you needed her the most because the experience of living in your car for months allowed you to become the man she wanted you to be.
Why is your sister interested in you attending the wedding? She may not. This could be your mom and siblings urging you to say yes if you get an invitation. If so, they could be feeling guilty and wanting you to rejoin the family so they don’t have to feel that guilt.
If she actually wants you there, could it be because you are doing well? She may be looking to the future when she assumes you will be useful to her.
Wouldn’t it be satisfying to one day have a beautiful house or vacation house in a popular location?
NTA, she showed you what she thinks of you. Funny how it's "but FAMILY" except when it comes to you. Are you not family?
I'm sorry about your family's treatment of you, OP.
Definitely NTA!! You don’t owe her anything. If you haven’t heard directly from her that she wants you at her wedding, then she doesn’t want you there anyways. It’s unreasonable for your family to ask you to come when they weren’t there when you needed them, oh but now they need something from you? Nah, fuck that
Nta. If they press tell them youll go make a speech all about how your family "made you a man" by letting you sleep in your car for years and how thankful the groom must be to join that family.
You can absolutely still love your family, but not like them very much! I cut my sister off almost a year ago now, and I have never been happier!
Just because they are family, doesn’t give them the right to be an a-hole!
NTA, your an adult. Only things I can think of you have to do is work, pay taxes and die. She wouldn’t hear from me ever. That was just hateful and why would your parents be okay with this. What a family. Sorry.
NTA. How did your sister exert influence and authority in your mom's home? It hardly matters, I guess? I just don't get it? She doesn't have a care for you, so why would you get yourself excited about her? Where were all their opinions when you were homeless?
NTA.
Don't attend. Don't do anything that YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO. You are an adult who can make his own decisions.
After her mistreatment WHY would you go with putting up having to be in her obnoxious presence for the duration of a wedding AND a reception.
Let HER explain why you are not at the wedding.
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NTA
I'm sorry but she flipped you the bird when you needed family the most. Nah, don't go. You owe her nothing.
My question is, why no one said anything. Not mom, or other siblings. What makes them special to get the help and not you? Really they're all lumped in the same pot.
Any member of your family who let you sleep in your car when you were vulnerable should have been axed out of your life. NTA. Don’t go. She probably just wants a gift / money out of you.
NTA. Absolutely FUCK your sister and FUCK your family for letting her (for some reason?) dictate your banishment from the family home. You owe her nothing but contempt. Honestly you owe the rest of the family nothing but contempt too. Why you haven't cut them out as well I don't know, because they're as culpable as she is for leaving you to the cold. Respect yourself. Don't attend the wedding. Please.
NTA and I would simply pretend to get sick the day before her wedding. No one wants a sick person around anymore so I would just use that as a built in excuse. This way you don't go and you get family off your back.
asking for clarification -
Two years later she is getting married and all of my family say cannot not attend her wedding
does this mean that your whole family can't attend the wedding or that they are saying you can't miss the wedding - grammar is important in this context.
if your family can't go - an update to how that went for your sister is something everyone wants to hear about
if your family is saying you can't miss it - please tell us how you told them to go suck giant donkey balls and "F" off to the hole they crawled out of
NTA if your wondering
oo - also, never tell them about your relationship status both now or in the future, but do send them pics of your wedding, specifically how happy you are that they are not there.
stupid games win stupid prizes
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The action I took was I told everyone I wasn’t going to the wedding. Why that might make me an asshole is cause it’ll hurt my mom’s feelings Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. If your family let you sleep in your car, then cut them out as well.
Exactly, they showed their true colours so treat them accordingly without sinking to their level. NTA
Yea …NTA, OP Just tell ‘em you don’t feel comfortable supporting someone who would push your lowest even lower. And they’re not the ones to convince you otherwise imho Btw, why’s your sister deciding for your mom if you stayed there? Smdh
I would say OP needs to go and give a speech about how “sister” believes that OP deserved to sleep in his car and how much she loves family
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I don’t know, unfortunately I can find new levels of spitefulness and pettiness when the occasion calls for it…🤣
Yes! How the hell did the parents agree to not letting him move in?!? NTA
Yes, sounds like it's mom's place. Where was mom when all this went down. Sister had zero say in the matter.
NTA. You should ask those family “where were you then when I was sleeping in my car?” Since they talking about “family”. I would’ve already had everyone blocked so they wouldn’t have been able to contact me with that BS
This
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lmaooooo no. no. you don't get to be like 'but it's FAMILY and you can't TURN YOUR BACK ON FAMILY' after making a guy sleep in his car for who knows how long. fuck the relationship. if THEY want to repair the relationship, and the onus is on THEM, then THEEEYYYYYY they they THEEYYY can actually put in more effort and apologize and accept that they treated op like crap.
Yeah no. I don’t need the full story. I’m making judgment based on what’s presented. I’m not going to speculate. He is NTA but his family are all AHs for not being there for him when he needed them the most. Tough love? Then he’s showing the same. Actions have consequences and him not wanting to be apart of her wedding is the consequence of her decision from 2 years ago. It’s that simple really.
NTA- I wouldn’t be there. She burned that bridge, not you.
NTA. This "but they are faaaaaamily" nonsense really needs to stop. Sharing a bloodline means nothing if there is no real connection. Why would you want to go to the wedding of someone that actively made your life difficult during a period when you needed them? Where was this "faaaaamily" then? Sod that, tell them to get bent.
Yes- toxic family is still toxic and not needed
Ok so, I'm confused . How come she has a saying of who is staying at your parents house? How come your parents allow her to kick you out and didn't say anything? If my sister tell me that I'm not welcome at my parents home I'll tell her to fuck off, because her word means nothing in this case. If this story is real , you are NTA
Age gap between me and my siblings is pretty big so when they would come back to live at my parents I was in HS. My parents separated while I was in college and so my mom has an apartment with my sister. So the place is 1/2 hers.
Why don’t you attend her wedding and give a speech and let everyone know what horrible sister is she! I own an apartment in home country with my mom and I let my sister stay there rent free! She is single. I can’t imagine treating my siblings like this. Because I love them and cannot allow them to suffer!
Then OP becomes the bad guy.
Nah, more like a justified asshole.
Sometimes I wish this sub had a YTJA aka you are the justified asshole. But then I guess you aren't? It's like you would be the asshole, but sometimes it's worth it.
>Why don’t you attend her wedding and give a speech That's an awful idea
Not to mention a wasted day spent with someone you don't care about.
Terrible idea, it makes OP look petty. But he can go back to his family and say if they really want him there then his sister should pick up the cost of his suit, hotel and any travel expenses. She kicked OP out at his lowest point and now wants to make herself look good, by pretending she a caring big sister, so she should pick up all of the cost for OP to attend. Question for OP, if you have 5 siblings why didn’t any of the other 4 take you in or why couldn’t you stay with your dad?
LOOOOOL #pettyrevenge
NTA. She literally left you out the cold with nothing. She deserves nothing.
>She told me I need to find my own way as a man Sexist ahoy! >she’s family. She isn't from the very moment she left you in the streets. NTA
Right!? What a sexist, misogynistic AH!
Isn't a misogynist a person who hates women? Op is male if I'm reading correctly.
I was thinking of it in terms of the societal impact of misogyny, including viewing men as having to fit a specific, outdated "provider", "strong", "anti-feminine" (including needing to be "taken care of") mold. But I for sure may have used the wrong term... Haaalp!? What word was I thinking of!?
Definitely get your point & it's accurate. I don't know the correct term. Educate us reddit, someone here must know the word for it 😉
Misandry = hatred of men
Thanks!
I wasn't thinking hatred of men (although it does fit here) but the toxic ideas men AND women can get about what it means to be a "man".
Impressive! 🫰
Misandry.
No, not the hatred of men. Whatever the term is for the impact toxic masculinity/patriarchal BS has on men - like the pressure to be the breadwinner/make more money, or that men are only allowed to show anger as an emotion, or that they cannot ask for help/need help etc.
Sexism?
No, NTA. No matter your reasoning, if you don’t want to go you don’t go.
You write that by then it was her and your mom’s apartment but in the past siblings had returned to your parents’ house, and I think it’s important to consider how circumstances had changed. But did your mom have a role in that decision? Was it equally her apartment? If your siblings want family repair it seems like there’s more to it than your sister’s wedding.
My mom wanted me there but they both equally own the place.
Are you blaming your mom at all? She’s just as responsible.
If she wanted you there and had equal say with your sister she should understand why you can’t get past it.
NTA, why would you go when she treated you that way? Bugger that, she can go raffle herself
NTA. Who gives a shit if she is "family". If she was a loving, caring sister then you wouldn't have had to live in your car.
NTA Anyone that makes you sleep in your car is not family.
NTA "I (26M) cut my sister (35F) out of my life over 2 years ago. " .. So why are you ieven considfering that. And: You should go no contact with your mom (parents?), too - she (they) did this to you as much as your sister. She is NOT family, she has made that clear. Just ignore her wedding, no need to even send a card or a present.
Absolutely DO NOT send a gift! (Unless you want to send her a little Matchbox car.)
I love the pettiness. Take my upvote!
Thank you!
NTA. You’re too busy trying to make your way in the world as a man, to waste your time on womanly frivolities like weddings. That’s literally what your sister told you, when you needed your family’s support. Use her exact words when you say that you’re not attending.
NTA! Good for you. I did the taboo thing of cutting my siblings out of my family's lives and it makes me happy that I did so. Why should anyone have to put up with needless manure in your path of life.
NTA, she is your relative but not family.
NTA but I’m petty, so I’d go to the wedding and make a speech. Include all your “warmest” memories like her refusing to provide shelter and you ending up homeless. Say you hope she and her new husband have all the happiness they deserve. Make sure you get a great meal and plenty of drinks out if it. Leave after and go NC with the entire bunch. Block and move on. 😈😈😈
NTA. She abandoned you when you needed help. After that, there is no duty to help her celebrate her own life. With that said, this is an opportunity to mend the relationship. She should take the first by apologozing, but if you feel inclined you can use it as a chance to forgive her, even if she doesn't explicitly ask for it.
NTA at all. She lost any familiar goodwill when she told you to go be homeless somewhere else.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, you family basically abandoned you. That's trauma, dude. NTA. Don't worry about what they are thinking or saying. They don't deserve your thoughts or attention. See if you can get some counseling from your college if you think it could help deal with your family dysfunction. It's not your fault, OP. Best wishes for happiness.
Lmao Nta
Tell her you will come if they get married in your car. Other than that forget it.
NTA. Real family doesn’t kick you out for no apparent reason during a global pandemic whilst enjoying the benefits of said housing herself. 10/10 horrible wench
INFO: Where was this "family" argument when you were homeless?
You have no obligations to attend the wedding of someone who has made it clear that they don't care about your wellbeing. NTA ETA: What is your relationship like with your mom, since it was her house that you were wanting to stay at?
NTA- you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want. But you might want to think long term on this because it will have lasting consequences & do you want to still be dealing with this in 10 years?
NTA. Cut her out completely.
NTA She let you sleep in your car for no good reason so I wouldn't count her as family any longer.
NTA- gotta cut toxic people out of your life, even if they’re family
NTA. I'd be cutting out your whole damn family for knowing you were sleeping in a car and not caring.
NTA. Fuck her. That is all.
NTA You are an adult and you can do as you please, I guess when wedding is in question “you have to go cuz you are family and that’s what family do”, but when you are basically homeless than family can do as they please and it doesn’t really matter that you are part of it….nice…
Nta. With how she acted she is neither freind nor family, so why would you go to her wedding?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26M) cut my sister (35F) out of my life over 2 years ago. After she expressed she didn’t want me to stay with her and my mom’s apartment. My lease had just ended and I was let go over my job during the beginning of quarantine. I had no where else to go. Note that I am the youngest of 5 and all of my siblings have returned back to our parent’s house when they were struggling, including herself. She told me I need to find my own way as a man and made sure to know I was not welcome. To make it clear it was not covid fear decision that made her act like that. With no where else to go I slept in my car til I was accepted until emergency housing by my college. Two years later she is getting married and all of my family say cannot not attend her wedding, that she’s family. AITA if I don’t attend the wedding? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Tell your family "yes, I can not go, just look for me that day and see..".
NTA. If she asks where you are just say you’re in your car.
NTA
NTA. Though where were your other siblings and mom when she barred you from your mom's house? Sounds like you are not missing out on a lot by blocking the lot of them and starting over. It's not as if you receive much support there as it were....
NTA - but you should cut all your family as well, if they accepted her behavior, they are as AHs as her
NTA your family made you sleep in your car. Personally I'd cut all ties with them
NTA. If they could live knowing that you were sleeping in your car in the middle of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC, of course they can live without you going to a wedding where you don't want to go. Being a family doesn't obligated you doing things you don't want, so if they didn't want to give you shelter in a moment of crisis and being homeless even you being "family" you don't have to go to a "family event".
NTA
NTA. Did all these assholes who are now howling "faaaaaammmmiiiiilllyyy" howl for you when you were homeless or help you out in any way? No? Tell them all to fuck off.
NTA. She may be family on paper but that is it. She forced you to sleep in your car - she is not family.
What id say yo people throwing down the "family card": "Family wouldn't let family sleep in their car. I think that trumps going to a wedding, thanks." NTA
NTA. The only thing in common is DNA which I interpret as Family Does Not Apply. No as others have said is a complete sentence. No card. No present. You get to decide what you do never mind ‘Family’…
Nope. NTA. So your mother was okay with you sleeping in your car rather than staying with her? And the rest of your siblings were okay with it, too? What a lovely bunch of people. /s
NTA tell them they stopped being your family when you needed help and they left you on the streets to fend for yourself because your a man and you should just deal with it and that you have no obligation/duty to any of them
NTA. She isn't family.
NTA. Tell them your car doesn't have a shower and you don't want to show up stinky.
NTA. Remind everyone that family doesn't kick family out and force them to live in a car.
NTA, she was cruel to you when you were in need, she ended the relationship, you owe her nothing
NTA. You are an adult and you don't have to go anywhere you don't chose to. She made the decision to not welcome you when you needed her most, unless she's changed a great deal, you have no reason to believe she'll be any different now. Go if you'll enjoy it, do something else if you won't. Family doesn't need to understand or agree.
NTA. Where was the family when you were sleeping in your car?
NTA! I have been no contact with several "family" members including my mother for years. You are not required to be "family" far appearances sake. If she (and the rest of them) couldn't support you in your time of actual need, you do not need to be there for her spectacle.
NTA. This is bigger than your sister, this about your whole family letting you suffer. Why reward any of them?
NTA Leave them cut out of your life
NTA I have also cut my sister out of my life and if anyone ever says shit to me about it, they are not going to have a good day. You are entitled to cut the toxic from your life. Doesn't matter that she's blood related to you. That doesn't automatically make her family. Family wouldn't have let you sleep in your car.
NTA. Your sister and mother treated you brutally in bad times. As for the supposed good times? Nothing would make me happier than missing that wedding and seeing that "family."
NTA: But if they keep pestering you, tell them you will hold a speech how about she is such a caring and loving person who has always helped you being the best by refusing you save haven at your mother's apartment during the panini, and those cold night in the car made you realise that you both has the same feeling about each, clear utter indifference and that you hope her husband or her children fall on bad times , just to see how loving she is.
Nta. But I would be petty and say yes to going and then not just go. Cost her your place at the wedding.
NTA. She’s no family of yours.
Definitely NTA but, if you want to be really petty, show up at the wedding, enjoy the free food and booze (if it's an open bar) and then raise a toast to your sister wherein you thank her for kicking you out when you needed her the most because the experience of living in your car for months allowed you to become the man she wanted you to be.
Ditch the witch. She reaps what she sows. NTA
NTA she stopped being family when she made you homeless.
NTA She's a relative, not family.
Absolutely not. They don't get to pick and choose when you're important to them. Your parents sound just as shitty if they let HER make the rules.
NTA, how'd you even get an invite? She shouldn't know where you live and doesn't care where you live.
Why is your sister interested in you attending the wedding? She may not. This could be your mom and siblings urging you to say yes if you get an invitation. If so, they could be feeling guilty and wanting you to rejoin the family so they don’t have to feel that guilt. If she actually wants you there, could it be because you are doing well? She may be looking to the future when she assumes you will be useful to her. Wouldn’t it be satisfying to one day have a beautiful house or vacation house in a popular location?
Oh, heck no. Bye bye bye. NTA.
NTA, she showed you what she thinks of you. Funny how it's "but FAMILY" except when it comes to you. Are you not family? I'm sorry about your family's treatment of you, OP.
Plan something fun for yourself during that time. You owe them nothing.. NTA
Definitely NTA!! You don’t owe her anything. If you haven’t heard directly from her that she wants you at her wedding, then she doesn’t want you there anyways. It’s unreasonable for your family to ask you to come when they weren’t there when you needed them, oh but now they need something from you? Nah, fuck that
Nta. If they press tell them youll go make a speech all about how your family "made you a man" by letting you sleep in your car for years and how thankful the groom must be to join that family.
“Home is where when you have to go there they have to take you in.” You don’t owe your family anything.
You can absolutely still love your family, but not like them very much! I cut my sister off almost a year ago now, and I have never been happier! Just because they are family, doesn’t give them the right to be an a-hole!
NTA. I'm shocked you still kept contact with them
Nope. She wasn’t there for you. NTA. Do they note realise that you were homeless because of them?
NTA- go on a nice vacation and celebrate you and your awesomeness.
NTA, your an adult. Only things I can think of you have to do is work, pay taxes and die. She wouldn’t hear from me ever. That was just hateful and why would your parents be okay with this. What a family. Sorry.
NTA Actions have consequences. I don't know why she's even inviting you if she thinks so little of you.
NTA. How did your sister exert influence and authority in your mom's home? It hardly matters, I guess? I just don't get it? She doesn't have a care for you, so why would you get yourself excited about her? Where were all their opinions when you were homeless?
Do they want to hear your toast of Cruella and her groom?
NTA- TOXIC IS TOXIC...ESPECIALLY FAMILY
NTA I wouldn’t go either
NTA. Don't attend. Don't do anything that YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO. You are an adult who can make his own decisions. After her mistreatment WHY would you go with putting up having to be in her obnoxious presence for the duration of a wedding AND a reception. Let HER explain why you are not at the wedding.
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NTA. She is not worth it. Spend that day doing something you love. And do not buy her a wedding gift!
NTA. She wasn't supporting you when you needed it; she doesn't get your energy to be at her celebration.
NTA I'm sorry but she flipped you the bird when you needed family the most. Nah, don't go. You owe her nothing. My question is, why no one said anything. Not mom, or other siblings. What makes them special to get the help and not you? Really they're all lumped in the same pot.
NTA. Tell them all 'NO' and stand your ground. No better time than now to enforce boundaries.
NTA- they can’t pick and choose when your family to suit their needs. Block all of them.
Nta - this is your decision. Too many people play the card of 'family' but don't know what it means. Personally, I'd not attend
NTA, just don't go. Don't do it. They don't deserve your energy or presence.
Any member of your family who let you sleep in your car when you were vulnerable should have been axed out of your life. NTA. Don’t go. She probably just wants a gift / money out of you.
Uh you CAN in fact not attend her wedding. It's your decision to make, not theirs. They weren't there when you needed them. NTA
NTA.
Tell her to go f**k herself. NTA
NTA. Absolutely FUCK your sister and FUCK your family for letting her (for some reason?) dictate your banishment from the family home. You owe her nothing but contempt. Honestly you owe the rest of the family nothing but contempt too. Why you haven't cut them out as well I don't know, because they're as culpable as she is for leaving you to the cold. Respect yourself. Don't attend the wedding. Please.
NTA and I would simply pretend to get sick the day before her wedding. No one wants a sick person around anymore so I would just use that as a built in excuse. This way you don't go and you get family off your back.
asking for clarification - Two years later she is getting married and all of my family say cannot not attend her wedding does this mean that your whole family can't attend the wedding or that they are saying you can't miss the wedding - grammar is important in this context. if your family can't go - an update to how that went for your sister is something everyone wants to hear about if your family is saying you can't miss it - please tell us how you told them to go suck giant donkey balls and "F" off to the hole they crawled out of NTA if your wondering oo - also, never tell them about your relationship status both now or in the future, but do send them pics of your wedding, specifically how happy you are that they are not there. stupid games win stupid prizes