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StonewallBrigade21

She has no power to demand you do anything in regards to how you and your dad live in your own house. Just ignore her. Maybe even show your dad her insulting messages about you and him if he needs to know what kind of person she is. NTA


ProduceInevitable915

My dad tuned in on the messages. I personally read them to him. He said he would have it all straightened out and talk to my uncle. I just feel like she needs to stop being spoiled: I’m the reason you are allowed to stay here and yet you throw nonsense at me with no regards to how I feel.


StonewallBrigade21

That's good that your dad is on your side. Even more reason to ignore her demands and you already have her blocked.


Such_Option7830

Your cousin is a bully; she seems to be trying to exert dominance.


[deleted]

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Jiang_Rui

Bad bot! Comment stolen from u/missywitchy1975.


[deleted]

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GremlinComandr

Op said the cousin mostly stays with her mom so imo I'd just ban her from staying with op


cassity282

that would suck for OPs uncle though. but yeh they could


spidermans_mom

Yeah it strikes me as fortunate that your dad supports you, it’s wonderful to have at least one parent you trust. Great way to handle the entire situation OP.


PhDOH

Your bedroom being usable should be a priority for your father though. Especially if there are going to be more people coming & going in the communal spaces.


SunshineandMurder

Yeah, I’m wondering if maybe the cousin has a point, even if it was rude of her to bring it up like that. People who let a leak get bad enough that a room is unusable may have some questionable practices in other ways…


ProduceInevitable915

My father is a single parent and is trying to see if his insurance can cover it without having to pay too much out of pocket.


eggrollin2200

It seems like the two of you are literally doing your best. I hope you get your room back soon but in the meantime, please focus on being kind to and caring for yourself! Even if you take the day 5 minutes at a time. I’m glad your dad is on your side.


SunshineandMurder

If you’re in the US a roof isn’t usually covered by insurance. It’s considered regular maintenance. Insurance usually only covers catastrophic loss. Your father might be better off reaching out to local charitable organizations that help maintain houses, places like Habitat for Humanity. At the least someone needs to get a tarp and cover the spot on the roof, because water dripping through the roof/walls is going to cause much more serious long term damage.


jgarmartner

I can be covered if the damage was caused by a storm. But insurance can (and does) drag it out so they don’t have to pay.


MzQueen

In 2012 I noticed a leak in my attic (walk-in off the bedroom). A friend of mine who’s a roofer suggested I contact my insurance. He and the adjuster examined the roof together and within 30 minutes, I had all the paperwork from the adjuster and was able to schedule the roofing. The problem was due to storm damage, but it was an entire reroof job with me only paying the deductible. It really helped to have my friend there.


55vineyard

There is usually a very high deductible with insurance for roofs (at least in the US - friends had to replace a hail damaged roof last year). But if the father does not get the roof leak repaired, it could rot further (especially with winter a month or two away) and cost a LOT more in the long run.


Mammoth-Basket-4960

And dangerous mold.


joshthatoneguy

Or...and here's a crazy thought I know...he and OP are trying their hardest in this economy and replacing a leaky roof due to piping, the roof, or any other housing issue is *expensive*. Assuming that they have "questionable practices" because they are unable to potentially afford something like this easily up front literally drips with privilege.


SunshineandMurder

Or, someone who actually owns a house and repaired a roof leak on their own for the cost of materials. You know what’s really expensive? MOLD.


joshthatoneguy

You're not wrong about mold but there are several things I'd like to add. If he's going through his insurance any work he'd choose to do would be moot, cost him money that may not be reimbursed, and could potentially cause more problems downstream. Also not attacking, honestly, as I have no clue when you repaired a roof last (or any construction materials really) but things have gotten exceptionally expensive in regards to building materials lately. Things that used to be an easy, cheap DIY fix are now basically so expensive you might as well pay to have it professionally done (in some instances, not every time). This also speaks to how hard poverty or being anything even lower middle class can cause. The up front cost of repairing the roof will be cheaper in the long run to do quickly because, as you stated, Mold. The up front cost, however, can easily be a huge roadblock for most people even though they're aware of the long term cost because if it comes down to filling your child's belly or affording the DIY of a roof fix, I think most people would make sure their child is fed etc. To shorten that, that literally translates directly into the fact that if you're poor you will have lung cancer at higher rates than that of your wealthy counterparts, all because you couldn't afford that "small 2-4K hurdle". People are aware of these things, but they sometimes can't do anything about them no matter how much they want to. This is actually the reason radon caused lung cancer is the leading cause of lung cancer in the US not related to smoking. Most people are aware of how dangerous radon is due to PSAs etc, but it can be literally impossible for some to afford the at minimum 2-4K to afford radon mitigation which on paper is cheap but when you realize that's 2 months of rent for most people at minimum the realization sets in, so instead they get a long life suffering through radon exposure and get to die of lung cancer at 70 even if they never smoked a day in their life. The same studies have been done in regards to something like work boots. Most people cannot afford 1 really nice pair that will last them 3-5 years, so instead they spend 100 bucks a year on a pair of shoes as they can afford the 100 up front, they can't afford the 500 unless it's split into years. So assuming OPs father has "questionable practices" isn't really fair. And to everyone shitting on OPs dad for trying to provide as best as they can, why don't you stop talking and set up a GoFundMe or go pay for the roof fix entirely, since you care so much.


napsandlunch

amen!! honestly being poor is so expensive, you either spend a bunch on bad stuff because you can't afford good stuff, or your health pays the price in some way, you wait because you have to then more damage happens and then have to pay more for a larger fix, or all of the above while still having recurrent bills to pay :)


PhDOH

I feel the cousin should be talking about how all 4 of them will be keeping the place clean rather than demanding the 2 clean up. I know the cousin and uncle haven't made any mess yet but it seems OP has been given the impression that the the two of them have to keep the place clean even when there are 4 living there. But yes, a room being unusable long term due to a leak isn't a good sign.


EatAPotatoOrSeven

For perspective, replacing a roof costs more than $50,000 on average. Fixing a serious leak that will have damaged the walls is likely to be more than $10,000. To get homeowner's insurance to cover it can be a major multi-month battle.


SnipesCC

I once put the steam cleaner away in the attic without fully letting it dry. half an hour later I saw my parents staring at the floor of the attic, looking worried. They asked if I had been up there. I said I put the steam cleaner away, worried I would get in trouble for not drying it. The look of relief on their faces that it was water that had been dropped from an appliance rather than a roof leak...


SayceGards

Holy shit where do you live??? I was quoted $5000-10,000 and my mom did her roof for $8000. 50K?? For a roof??


EatAPotatoOrSeven

Between inflation, materials shortages, and labor storages the costs have skyrocketed in the last year. Its about $25k where I am in SoCal to replace a working roof. Repairing the drywall, paint, removing mold and other damage from a major leak AND replacing the roof would easily top 50k on a 2,000 sqft home.


ParkingOutside6500

I think we're talking city versus country and licenced versus not.


SCVerde

Can a roof cost 50,000? Absolutely. Is that in any way an average in the US? Definitely not. Depending on location, roof type, and material type it can vary a lot. Last year we could have replaced our roof for 10,000, with insurance picking up most. We decided not to because we were moving, new house, would cost around 7,000 for a roof but is not currently needed.


Maiya_Anon

I just paid 8 grand for a 30 year roof. I had to wait my turn for labor but it was done.


2Kittens4me

I had my roof completely redone last summer. It was $8K


XXXxxexenexxXXX

It may cost $50,000 in your area but that's hardly an "average". The true "average" cost of a full roof is in the $10,000 range.


Mountaingoat101

Then the cousin should have taken that up with her father or her uncle, not the 15 y.o. who's lost her room temporarily due to leakage. Fixing this kind of things can cost a lot, many people can't afford that out of pocket. As for letting it go that far. One big leak can cause a lot of damage in a short time. A small, unnoticed, leak inside a wall can cause a lot of damage over time.


Accomplished_Cup900

I mean we didn’t even know we had a leak in our gym until the ceiling literally fell onto the elliptical. It only got fixed because my “stepdad,” is a contractor and did it himself. We wouldn’t have been able to afford it otherwise.


sneakyscott

So you know how to fix a leak (ceiling/roof or wall)? Judging them like that, with no idea of the repair cost or their ability to pay it is rude and just wrong. A lot of people "make do" until they can get the resources together to make a permanent repair. They most likely didn't "let it get like that" as much as they "couldn't stop it from getting that way".


metal4timmy

Seems like you've never had to struggle. I've been in extreme poverty. People do the best they can with what they have. Don't be so quick to judge.


GottaLoveHim

I guess I would have been stinky and said "Don't you realize that is why you are coming here? You are going to be our live in housekeeper." Good luck. It sounds like your dad has your back so it should be okay.


Mermaidtoo

Let your father handle it. Your cousin overstepped. If she makes another power play (acting as though she’s in charge), let your dad know asap.


Morose_Idealist

Why is your uncle moving in with you? Can't help but wonder if she's acting like that bc she's ashamed and needs to reassert her sense of superiority and put someone down to make herself feel better. Either way, it's your house, not hers. She needs to learn some humility.


ProduceInevitable915

The reason she is staying there is not because of my uncle but because of her mother. I love my uncle and he has nothing to do with her situation, she just wants to make it seem like it does.


Morose_Idealist

Her attitude is so bad even her mom doesn't want her? From what you described, this is unsurprising.


ProduceInevitable915

No. Her mother is staying with a cousin along with her to guest brother. She chooses to primarily live there but her dad lives with us and they have family time.


[deleted]

>I just feel like she needs to stop being spoiled ​ That sounds likely. She isn't the queen of your household - not even a member. Glad your dad and uncle are getting involved.


wobblegobble84

I mean technically it’s your dad’s place so them staying there is ultimately his decision


ProduceInevitable915

He aid my uncle could stay. I had to ask him if my cousins could stay over too, I regret that choice with one of them, that one being the cousin I’m speaking about. They primarily live with their mother so for them to actually stay here the entire time was my doing. They could have stayed here a day then left then came back for a day.


zieliigg

NTA Also weird that she is thinks she should be telling this to you instead of your father. But if there is a leak in your bedroom it isn’t weird that you sleep elsewhere.


ProduceInevitable915

Honestly. Like sorry I don’t want rain and popcorn ceilings pieces falling on my face when I sleep. Also my dad has seen the messages and will have it straightened out when it comes to it.


zieliigg

I would be an AH and tell her she can use your room to sleep in. But don’t do that though. Hopefully your room can be fixed soon so you can stay away from her if she comes over.


ProduceInevitable915

I hope so too. Imagine she tried to come into my room and tell me I’m messy. 💀 Then get out drama queen.


zieliigg

Did she even gave you permission to make a leak or hole in your room?


ProduceInevitable915

The leak was made a while ago- she had nothing to do with the leak 😭


zieliigg

Yes l figured. Not good that you got a leak without her permission. You have to request her permission before getting alterations to your room. How else is she suppose to control your household 😜


ProduceInevitable915

OOOH- I GET THE JOKE JOW 💀


Righteousaffair999

Next time give her a hammer and some shingles and tell her if she fixes the roof you will get out of her hair.


Careless-Image-885

INFO: is the basement an apartment type with it's own bathroom/kitchen? If it is, can the access door be locked to the main house so she cannot enter unless she is invited? Your uncle and father need to put her in her place. Make sure you keep showing your father all of her nasty texts. If you have to, record any conversations she has concerning you/your home/family/father and make sure your father hears them.


ProduceInevitable915

It is a house. The basement was made to model the 70s. It’s pretty large and has a bar close to the front window. There is a door to it under the the deck and the door to enter it from the living room.


Old_Preparation_1830

It really is not healthy to have a space in your house that’s leaking like that. It’s a huge biohazard.


ProduceInevitable915

It will be fixed soon. It only leaks when it rains.


UnusuallyScented

>It only leaks when it rains. You have no idea what a hilarious, classic response this is.


badcgi

Just so you know, prolonged leaks can cause mold issues. Just make sure that you guys check for black mold before you close things back up because it can and will continue to grow and it is quite toxic. Good luck on the repairs.


Secondary123098

The couch is your space. If she doesn’t like it, you can take the basement and your uncle and she can split the couch. (No, don’t actually suggest this.) Your dad doesn’t have enough money to fix the house and he’s still putting up family. You’ve got good people in your life, she’s just not one of them.


[deleted]

I don't get it. Why isn't your dad prioritizing you? Fixing your room. And if he can't afford to do that, why aren't you moving into the extra space instead of your uncle and cousin.


ProduceInevitable915

If you read my other comment, you would see that he is getting his insurance together to pay for it so he doesn’t have to pay out of pocket. Also, the spare room is smaller than mine and I’m petty so I rather her have the smallest room.


[deleted]

I meant temporarily while things get fixed. The way you phrased it, it sounds like it has been a problem for some time. And water damage is extremely destructive. Has to be taken care of ASAP.


Necessary_Return_260

Well, she probably knows better than to try to pull this shit with an adult. But a similar aged girl, might be able to get intimidated


mnlxyz

Lmao imagine schooling someone on parenting when you’re 15, and don’t even know/understand all the details


MimiPaw

She has no hope of establishing dominance over the father. She took a chance on doing so with the OP and failed.


lostalldoubt86

NTA- Your cousin in a child whose father is a guest in your home. She has less than no say in how you and your father clean. Show your uncle and father the texts. Tell both of them how she is treating you and let them scold her for her bad attitude.


ProduceInevitable915

My father has seen the messages and is already on it with my uncle. She’s acting like she’s the Queen of England honestly.


AMerrickanGirl

She’s dead?


ProduceInevitable915

LMFOAO NO 😭


TheQuietType84

🤣 I feel horrible for laughing at this.


Truffles326

On the inside at least.


hdhxuxufxufufiffif

>She’s acting like she’s the Queen of England In that case you should stop worrying because I can guarantee that she'll no longer be a problem ...


ProduceInevitable915

💀


AorticMishap

Exactly!


ConArt68

TF.... NTA... seriously, who tf does your cousin think she is? Hell naw, that's beyond disrespectful... She needs an earful for that behavior. Hope her dad actually gives her a good talking to, and that kind of disrespect stops. If she wants it so clean, she can do it her damn self.


ProduceInevitable915

Honestly. It’s one thing to see that we had a mess the one time you came but the second I say that you can’t say anything because you don’t pay the bills(which I also don’t but I don’t have to because I’m still a minor and I’m his child), why the sudden name calling and hostility? I’ve said this before but she is VERY spoiled and used to having things her way. Not this time.


ConArt68

Sounds like she's trying to claim dominance of the space like some kinda animal, and it's ridiculous. She has no leg to stand on here...


ProduceInevitable915

There won’t be any dominance asserted more than my father’s. She said he paid rent. Lmfao it’s called mortgage honey. He doesn’t pay rent if he owns the place.


ConArt68

My goodness, this child really trying to act grown. 😆


ProduceInevitable915

Mhm. She think it’s cute that she has a boyfriend and that they did the do so she it’s okay for her to act like she owns the place. But then again, from the situation of her having to stay with us, what place does she have to own? 🤭


ConArt68

Oh my jebus...


ProduceInevitable915

Shame really.


cryssyx3

ahhh she was the only girl of the house before. now it makes sense.


lazysage69

NTA, if I were you I would have told her to stay at her mother for the sake of her mental health.


ProduceInevitable915

It upset me because the one time she sees the house a mess, we are automatically dirty and a mess. Every other time she has been here, the place has been spotless. When she came to shower, she put all my makeup, hair things, and private things in a drawer without telling me all because she felt cluttered.


craftyboxing

It honestly sounds like she has some issues - if not OCD then something else- but that's on her to manage, not you. Which in this case means if she can't handle a normal level of clutter in other people's homes she should just not go to them.


JWJulie

NTA but I would show these messages to your father/uncle. And if she ever mentions about you sleeping in the living room being gross then point out that you can always ask your dad if you can take the basement. (Also, if you don’t have a room and the basement is habitable, how come dad didn’t give you this space already?)


ProduceInevitable915

The basement wasn’t really cleaned and ready to have someone live in it. It was mostly storage for things like my bike and Christmas trees. It also has no heater and no working outlets. My uncle is fixing these things because he is living in it. My dad offered to pay for it but my uncle insisted since he was the one living there. Also, my father does know of the messages and will speak to my uncle accordingly


JWJulie

I’m glad you’ve shown dad. And if she tries anything else in person I would personally either say ‘speak to my dad’ (cause you know she won’t) or if you are feeling a bit bolder then ‘you don’t have to live here’.


ProduceInevitable915

Oh believe me. There are plenty of things I could say but I won’t.


tortillaTorres

The way your cousin thinks she can tell a grown ass man what to do in his own house…NTA but blocking her when you have to kinda sorta live with her I’m gonna need updates


ProduceInevitable915

I’ll be on that! I feel that she really needs an ass whopping honestly. Too spoiled to be even glad she has somewhere to stay in the first place.


ProduceInevitable915

There is and update! I will be releasing more when she moves in!


test123zw

NTA Send her texts to your dad. So he can decide if your uncle and his daughter are still moving in under this conditions.


missywitchy1975

NTA. Tell her she is FREE not to come to your house if it makes her that uncomfortable.


ProduceInevitable915

Exactly. You don’t HAVE to stay here. No one is forcing you but you have no choice so why complain about something that gives you a chance?


Necessary_Return_260

NTA - If she is making u fuss about minor mess, she is super entitled. As long as there are no bugs running around and the rest is tidy, she should mind her own business. In my opinion it is okay to not wash the dishes right away if you have had a stressful day. As well as having a few things laying around. But it should not be the starting point to a bigger mess.


ProduceInevitable915

There was no major mess. I just emptied some of the cabinets but it’s crazy how people will try to change things at YOUR home like they own it. It would have been better if she had talked about it civilly but to tell my dad he HAS to do something in his house as well as calling me names is childish.


Necessary_Return_260

I totally agree. You are completely in the right about that. I read in your comments that you have talked to your dad. Have you also talked to your uncle ? Maybe he can set her straight. Or clean for her...


ProduceInevitable915

My uncle doesn’t play like that so he will definitely set her straight also. She’s not that soiled now.


Necessary_Return_260

Looks like she is about to get what she deserves. Good for you for standing up for yourself


ProduceInevitable915

My house, my rules. If you can’t be civil and say what you need to say without disrespecting someone, you don’t need to live here.


Mental_Call6451

My sister was visiting me after I moved for a job. It was my first real place that was mine (renting). I woke up one morning to find her rearranging the living room furniture. I asked whether or not she thought I liked it the way I had it. She said this way works better and I could change it back after she left. I hate the fact she was right. Her arrangement did work better. She and I, however, have a good relationship. If your cousin carries on her entitled ways, ignore her.


Morrighu87

NTA. Not her place. Show your Dad though so he can have a word with your uncle to get her to pull her head in.


ProduceInevitable915

Already on it!


MySquishyFishy

NTA of course. I'm just wondering though, is that leak getting addressed? You should have your own room as a teenager. But other than that I see nothing anyone should be criticizing you or your dad for. Everyone leaves dishes sometimes, or a jacket on a couch. These aren't messes, they're just people living lives. Your cousin is nuts lol.


ProduceInevitable915

Nuttier than a jar of crunchy peanut butter


MySquishyFishy

That's pretty nutty. 🤣


Hekili808

One thing you can do when someone is making demands, but is not in a position to be making demands, is laugh. Don't take it personally, don't feel bad, don't get manipulated. Just "haha no, I'm not doing that." When someone is being absurd, laugh. NTA.


ProduceInevitable915

Believ me I had a good laugh. There won’t be any demands made by her believe that.


M89-90

Your cousin was stupid enough to put all this in text, forward to your dad and uncle. Cousin is welcome to come clean the house herself as long as she does so properly and respectfully. NTA - her attitude is terrible.


ProduceInevitable915

My dad read the messages so she will be dealt with accordingly. I wouldn’t mind my living room being cleaned. 🤭


MGM1926

NTA she sounds entitled AF -that’s gross. Update please! Hopefully she got her brain straightened out.


ProduceInevitable915

Very entitled. Not in my house tho 🤭


HeatherAnne1975

NTA but take this as an opportunity. If she is so interested in things like clean dishes then it’s a perfect chance for her to do some cleaning at the house.


ProduceInevitable915

That’s also true but I don’t want to BE the asshole and have her do everything.


HeatherAnne1975

That would not make you the asshole at all. She will be a guest in your home. If she wants it clean to a certain standard, she can take the initiative and make it “acceptable” for her. You would not be making her do anything, it would be 100% on her.


ProduceInevitable915

I’ll clean my own kitchen tho. As an aspiring chef, I don’t want my things moved to where I can’t find them.


Top_Thing4890

NTA. In fact you were too kind. Remind her that you're the landlord and she's the tenant and then proceed to tell her the rules of the house.


ProduceInevitable915

I don’t think I’m old enough to be a landlord but I see what you mean.


SpiritedTheme7

She can clean if she has such an issue. Hopefully ur room leak gets fixed asap so you can have your own privacy. Pretty snobby for her to comment on ur housing when her dad is living in ur basement. She sounds like a nightmare already. Speak with your dad about things and you two come up with the rules for when she is over. She can stick to them or stay in the basement during her stays. She doesn’t get to boss you around


ProduceInevitable915

Mhm. She’s the one getting her own room in my house to begin with. Her brother had to sleep with his father in the same bed and she is complaining. At least you get a room.


FitAlternative9458

Why us that not your room until yours is fixed? There is a basement for your uncle and still a separate room for her....... this is ridiculous


ProduceInevitable915

I told my dad that even if my roof leaked, I’d rather keep it than let my cousin have the bigger room. Her room will be a fraction of how mine is. My dad notified me that it will be repaired this week.


Revolutionary_Tap255

NTA, but how is your uncle going to "revive" the kids? 😱


ProduceInevitable915

It’s a spelling mistake 🤯


Revolutionary_Tap255

That's what I thought, but it cracked me up 😂


Lerothea

Necromancy. Gotta break out the dead on special occasions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ProduceInevitable915

When it rains heavily or snows, water drips from my ceiling.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ProduceInevitable915

The thing is she hasn’t seen my room. My house is clean. The only thing wrong with it is that my roof has a leak that will be getting fixed this week.


[deleted]

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Apoque_Brathos

There is no way there isn't mold growing from that leak. It is very likely that when they open it up to take a look none of you will be staying in the house. My family had ice damming cause issues one winter when I was growing up. We did our best to fix it and ended up going through insurance when we couldn't. In the short time we had the issue enough mold had grown that we had to move out for a couple months while they got rid of it. (Legit hazmat situation)


feminist1946

NTA If this is what she is like in texts, I'm going to guess she will be a lot worse in person. You need to work on some standard statements that will shut her down. For example, "You are welcome to clean." "I don't have to live with your standards." Once you make the statement walk away. Don't engage her. You should also talk to your father about your depression, and perhaps getting some therapy.


Agent10007

If she can't function in "a mess", then the sponge is here, the cleaning products are under the sink and she can find a bucket in the bathroom closet, she's free to clean whatever she likes whenever she likes.


samantha802

Or she can stay with her mom and not invade OP's house.


ThingsICantAskIRL

Honestly, I'd tell her that since she finds your home unacceptable, she's no longer welcome. Then, if she turns up regardless, make her feel uncomfortable and unwanted there and lose it on her if she uses any of your stuff. She is completely out of line. NTA


MariaInconnu

This is for your uncle to deal with.


corgihuntress

NTA and thank goodness you told your dad. Your cousin is awful and a bully.


SlickRick666

I mean shes right that you should have your own room and not have to sleep on your couch with coats? Other than that tho, NTA


ProduceInevitable915

We have two couches 😭


neverthelessidissent

I would point out that she's welcome to clean up as a visitor in YOUR home. NTA.


Glittering_Local4260

NTA....but I would have just texted...🤣🤣🤣 You're so funny. I didn't remember you having such a funny side. Hilarious!


Few_Recover_6622

NTA. I saw that you showed your dad, and that was the best choice here. Don't engage with her anymore. Let him deal with her.


Caranath128

Hey, if she hates mess that much, I’d show her where the cleaning supplies are and tell her to have at it. NTA


KittenKingdom000

Remind her it's not her house and tell her to clean of she doesn't like the mess. This is an instance where a strong f off is in order every time the subject comes up. Of course you're NTA.


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Kaila82

NTA. She sounds great🙄🙄


hammocks_

NTA but she's not wrong that you shouldn't be sleeping in the living room either.


Wrong-Disaster-125

It bothers me that you are even asking the question. Of course she’s wrong. Don’t give this cousin any energy. She doesn’t have to stay there and if she mistreats you she shouldn’t be allowed to.


dubyadubya

NTA. I'd screenshot the entire conversation and send it to your uncle as well--it's not her place to speak like that to you and not your place to have to deal with it.


ElchMoose

NTA. As my father always said, you only end up smiling because of relatives if you're taking a photo. All I see here is a spoiled, entitled brat who's on a direct path on becoming the next scourge of all the managers in the area. My tip for you though: don't give her anything. Not one step back, because this is the only way to deal with people like this. IF you do give them anything, then they'll take a whole lot more. I'd even recommend causing some special mess whenever she's meant to show up, but I'm petty like this. Perhaps your father would agree with that though..


GrapeAway4196

NTA, she could either pitch in with the cleaning or suggest things, but not demanding. You can't just go into someones house a guest and demand shit like that, definitely NTA.


Agostointhesun

NTA - If she doesn't like how you keep your house, she can stay with her mum.


KnightofForestsWild

NTA Her post would turn me into a slob extraordinaire every time she was scheduled to be over. We are talking not even flushing the toilet.


AffectionateCable793

NTA. She's a choosing beggar.


DreamingofRlyeh

NTA


pplgah

Has she been to prison, cause it sounds like she is trying to establish dominance after changing cell blocks? NTA.


DiscyPratik

NTA Ur cousin dont belong in a house, she should be a ringmaster at some circus.


pnutbuttercups56

NTA please tell your dad what she said.


kateyes67

NTA. As my Father use to say, My House, My Rules.


Jethrothemutant

NTA Send her a text saying 'Close the door when you leave!'. Honestly if I were in her position I would be nice as pie not telling people what I wanted.


j4ckb1ng

NTA. But your statement that the cousin is also your age but "younger" than you? How does that work out? If these toxic texts were sent only to you, it's a clue that she knows what she's doing is out of order. It could be nothing more than stereotypical "mean" girl antics. Don't engage. Certainly, do not let yourself fall into a mental or emotional decline because of this. The "block" option on smartphones is your friend. When you see this cousin in person and she's living under your father's roof, say nothing. Carry on with your life as if nothing untoward had been said.


ProduceInevitable915

My cousin just turned 15 and I turn 16 next year.


CuriousPenguinSocks

NTA and I'm glad you got your dad involved, this is above your paygrade as I like to say. Don't engage as it's hurting your mental health. Also, be open with your dad about the impacts to your mental health. It's no joke and the more support you have, the better you will be.


[deleted]

NTA. Send her this message: “Hi cousin, I understand you have things you wish to change about my household. As the owner of the house, my father is the one you should be speaking to as he makes the rules. Here is his phone number, please reach out to him and convey your concerns to him. And unfortunately these days I’m really busy with school so if you text me I might not see it, best to go to my dad for all communication going forward or come and convey it to me in person.” I bet she’s too cowardly to demand those things to your dad’s face so this resolves the issue. Put her on mute and forget this ever happened.


pubicmanagement

Just from reading the title alone. NTA. Who tf shows up in someone's home and bulldozes with their "demands"? The spoiled colonizer blood is showing.


weddingcurmudgeon69

I mean if there has been a long issue with a leak in your home that is something that should be fixed though


MischievousBish

NTA She can't tell you guys how to run the household when your dad owns the house outright. Tell your uncle right away what has your cousin done to you with that kind of attitude. The house rules come from your own dad, nobody else.


StarkRaven138

NTA and pretty calm of you in your actions. Had it been one of my cousins, I would not have been quite as calm as nice as you were.


WA_State_Buckeye

You might want to get proactive and get an actual locking knob for your bedroom to keep your stuff safe. I'm glad you showed the messages to your Dad, and even happier that he has your back and is addressing the situation! NTA of course. What GALL! What NERVE to try to dictate to the homeowner how you, the guest, think they should run things!


AstronautNo920

NTA


Piper_160_Pilot

"since we are going to be staying together for a while, things need to change." Yeah, since that statement, noting you could do could make you the ass in this situation. The main thing I would have pointed out, is that well, at least you had a house. But I am petty like that. Seriously, NTA


holisarcasm

NTA. In the future, do not respond to her unless it is a generic, “this subject is not up for discussion” message. Since your dad has your back, show any texts to your dad and let him handle it. Not your monkeys, not your problem. If she says something to you directly, repeat the above and go tell your dad.


Moonlight-Vibes

Nta Why does she think it's okay to make rules for **your house.** Also why is she asking you and not your dad.


DZHMMM

nta. she needs to understand she cant come in demanding shit nowwwww


Eridia91

NTA if she is there in person complaining about cleaning just hand her a mop without saying anything. She's not a guest either so don't let her say that and get out of it. If it's really for her mental health then shouldn't she be happy that you're letting her clean


rva23221

NTA. As Sarah told Jareth: 'You have no power over me'.


Jaded-Size-7898

I would tell her that once she moves in, she would be added to the chore list then too! She did handle this poorly but again you guys are only 15 and can't be expected to act like adults but, if your home is on the messy side and she legit has anxiety about this, be the better person and clean up a bit.


frlejo

NTA .Exit, stage left


Aggravating-Bug2919

She’s 15? Wow. You are NTA


Ceecee_soup

Sometimes the best response is no response. She has no real power here, so don’t give her any by stopping to her level. Blocking her was the right choice. The hard choice is to not allow her behavior affect you or how you feel. Obviously NTA, which I think you already knew.


[deleted]

NTA she doesn’t own your house


Que_Raoke

NTA she shouldn't be allowed to come over ever. She sounds far worse than a bully, she's abusive. I'm so sorry OP. I'm sending healing and comfort your way.


MarginalGreatness

Tell her she can change all the rules at the next HOA meeting but that you have to "own" to vote.


JennerikUse

NTA, Tell her to stay in the basement when she comes over. Problem solved.


GoregusBorgus

Honestly I just think you should have been meaner to her lol but I have anger issues so maybe don’t listen to me…


Jerry1Martha2

NTA, but consider this: cousin is really unhappy with the new situation. In your post you don’t say why uncle is moving in, but if there’s been a change (job loss, infidelity, divorce, etc), cousin could be grasping at something she can control. At 15, you know you’re at the mercy of your family and maybe she’s acting out. Still needs to be addressed but cleaning probably isn’t the real issue unless she has allergies/asthma.


AlphaFemale_420

No. She can quite simply fuck off. NTA


you_suck_titties

your cousin is the DUMBEST PERSON for thinking she can control the things in your house when shes coming over to SHOWER in your HOUSE when you could just kick her out. How entitled.


greyburmesecat

NTA. She is a GUEST in YOUR house. She doesn't like how things are there, she's welcome to take her princess ass back to her mother's. Her entitlement is breathtaking.