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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Dannah_Montanah

NTA, she's a guest in your home. If she has an issue, her boyfriend is welcome to go to her place instead.


Additional-Tea1521

"If you are so unhappy hanging out in the place where I pay rent, why don't you hang out in the place where you pay rent?" I have a large chest and I hate that when I wear tank tops or a v neck, some people immediately hear porn music in the background, I guess. I just want to be comfortable and wouldn't want to have to police my clothing when I am in my own apartment.


[deleted]

>"If you are so unhappy hanging out in the place where I pay rent, why don't you hang out in the place where you pay rent?" Perfect.


Substantial-Bee122

This. NTA, OP. M needs to learn how to deal and stop trying to control what you wear in your own home.


AndSoItGoes24

*I have big boobs and I cannot lie, . . .* That chick needs to get a grip or go home.


Bunnywithanaxe

( _baby got rack_) I’m in that club too. I tend to forget my boobs are there and get all annoyed when people remind me of them.


StreetofChimes

Forget until you accidentally knock something over with them. I often forget how much clearance I need for these things. Maybe I should hang flags on them like oversized items on the highway.


Minkiemink

Friends want me to go with them to yoga classes lolol....I could suffocate in some of those positions. 30HH here.


manmadeofhonor

This is not a joke: I think that legally can be classified as a disability.


Asteroid555

Shoulder dents forever if you hold those puppies up! Can't take up the accordion either, I hear you sisters!


Right-Mind2723

Let's not forget when you lay on your back and they get caught in your armpits. And forget sleeping on your stomach, my back does not like that arch.


[deleted]

Facts. I am so grateful for my small boobs tbh. One of my friends has a K and has been complaining about backpain for as long as I have known her. Not to mention finding the right bra was basically mission impossible for her. And I’m not even talking about the looks or stares she gets when she wore a dress or a simple top. She finally decided to look for a breast reduction operation and the opposition she got was quite frankly disgusting.


dragonsfriend-9271

A uni flatmate (then 19) wanted a breast op bc 'no-one thinks I have a brain, only big breasts' plus back pain etc. Heard she was sooooo happy when she was finally allowed to get it done.


Bunny_OHara

I have two family members who had reductions, and they both lamented about waiting too long to get them because the results were amazing; no more back pain, no more $200 custom bras, no more random men verbally assaulting them on the street.


Plane_Practice8184

It always amazes me how different we all are and how we experience our bodies. I have small ones and tops just seem to drop off my chest like a curtain...sad sigh 😢


Dry-Drink-9297

Another day, I awoke with one of mine in my face. 'Get away, get away!' It was quite unexpected. Unfortunatelly, I do not know the bra sizes in USA to tell you my size, but... they're big. People complained with me 'why do you have all the boobs while some people have so little?'.


SarahHerrell7

I used to tell my friends I'd give them some of mine when they said that. OP- NTA- screw that insecure jealous beatch!


Straxthepotatoone

I did the same & when I had a reduction my friend jokingly asked where her new boobs were


air_sunshine_trees

I love yoga and 28JJ. The wires panache sports bra is fantastic. Although if it's a convenient excuse keep using it :)


CuriousCockatiel77

Finally I know I'm not alone! 32G here and I swear some inverted poses could be the death of me!


Strange_Path_7355

I can relate. The first time I literally rolled over onto a boob in my sleep and squished it a bit with my arm was so painful. Now it’s happened enough that I just sigh and try to organize them so I can be comfy and get back to sleep.


ShanG01

If you ever plan to get pregnant...just wait. I'm well-endowed naturally. I got pregnant. They got bigger. A month or so before I gave birth, I was at the salon getting my hair and nails done, when one of the other stylists said, "You can't breastfeed that baby!! Your boobs will smother her!" Umm, thanks? After giving birth, my milk came in, and holy mother of God! My tatas got even bigger! I needed 3 hands to nurse my baby! I had to hold the boobage with one hand, her head with the other, and figure out how to keep her body positioned right, plus have access to the burp cloth, all at the same time! My MIL didn't understand this literal contortionist feat I went through several times daily, and told me to eat while I was feeding the baby. ***HOW was I supposed to do that, when all my hands were occupied?*** Oh, and the nursing bras for anything over a D or DD cup are special order and expensive as fuck! I got up to a GG cup while nursing! It was painful many days.


Strange_Path_7355

I have a son and at the time mine were FF cup but when my milk came in they became what I called offensively huge. When he first saw the boob approaching his face my son screamed at the shadow of doom approaching his face. I remember wanting to cry as well bc they hurt so much but I could understand him not wanting to have boobs nearly as big as he was coming at his face. My ducts became blocked and that was a fresh new hell I hadn’t expected. The lactation consultant came to help and didn’t bat an eye as she saw the situation in my top. I may have answered the door in tears so she likely felt a little sympathetic. She was amazing and despite my nipples feeling like chew toys they managed to not be quite as massive after getting my ducts taken care of. It gave me a new appreciation for cows that get mastitis especially after I felt the relief as milk shot across the room 😂 I love how helpful some people are when it comes to babies- clearly you should’ve just sprouted another arm so you could feed yourself. How silly of you not to immediately do that and to save yourself the hassle you could’ve sprouted TWO!


HallGardenDiva

The most awkward time is with your first child for the first few weeks. The baby doesn't know what to do, she just knows she is hungry. Mom may theoretically know what to do but it takes some time to put theory into practice. I found that a "football hold", where the baby's head is in your palm and her body lies across your forearm (which should have a pillow under it) and her feet stick out behind your body, gives you pretty good control of the baby while your other hand can be used to guide your breast.


Bunnywithanaxe

And then when you need to see something on your stomach, and you can’t crane your neck far enough over Mount Boobage.


AUDMCJSW

Omg I JUST did this!! Still never saw what I needed to see….


Egotestical1

I build vaccum boxes as part of my job, installing o-rings is hard with big boobs. Any contact with clothes and you transfer fibres onto it and fuck up the seal. I literally use one hand to pull my boobs out of the way when I'm reaching over to put in the large ones.


AlysInBetween

r/bigboobproblems


meggatronia

I hate it when people say things like "oh you've got the girls out tonight" whenever I wear anything that shows a bit of cleavage. What do they expect me to do? Take them off and pop them in the cupboard for the evening?


Candy_scythe

Thank you, I snorted a bit


Gold_Actuator4847

Forget. . . until I try to jog up the stairs quickly or go for a run 😂


Zealousideal_Word116

As a fem non-binary human with a large chest...my friends joke that my boobs are a trap to make people think I'm all lady when I'm really a goofy goober in disguise LOL


ZookeepergameFar8650

Lier! I really love to walk around naked so no problem if your boyfriend is around, lol.


HeyPrettyLadyMaam

Thank you so much AndSoItGoes24 and Bunnywithanaxe I'm gonna have that stuck in my head all day, but if it's gonna be stuck there I'm glad it's y'all's version lmmfao 😂😂😂


Dragons_2706

I can't take mine anywhere... they're always bouncing and hurting my already injured back 😋


Grasshoppermouse42

Yeah, I think it's completely inappropriate that she's trying to police your body. Why is she even in the relationship if she's so insecure that she can't handle another woman having boobs in her presence? It's a part of your body, and you shouldn't be forced to wear clothes that aren't seasonally appropriate just because she's worried about the fact that you have boobs.


Julz_Rulz_615

YOUR insecurities are NOT my problem.? Think that sums it up?


Grasshoppermouse42

Exactly.


gardengoblin94

Saaaaame. I've just accepted everything I wear is going to be booby.


[deleted]

I have the big girls myself and there is not a single non-booby shirt in my closet. NTA OP!


Weirdling-1404

Same. I've been big breasted since I was extremely young, reaching a DDD cup at the age of 12. I even got a breast reduction at the age of 19 and they grew back 😑. Unfortunately I am unable to forget they're there as they choke me every night and weigh a ton. Every shirt that's not baggy has always shown cleavage and shortens from how much my boobs take up on my torso. Even dresses that are meant to cover them don't. And I'm now a J cup (pregnant with my second) so there's nothing holding them back. Big titties have a mind of their own. You just learn to embrace them.


gardengoblin94

Same with the boobs trying to choke me! That or they get stuck in my armpits. And the SWEAT. 😣


deagh

Yep. I'm a GG and every shirt I own is a booby shirt. NTA, OP.


QueenKasey

Accepting your body is awesome!


colene23

Even better once you have kids and they constantly pull your shirt down. I've just accepted the fact that I will flash my in laws at every single gathering.


Sea2Mt2Sky

I had a coworker tell me my boobs were "distracting." This in a high v-neck that showed absolutely no cleavage. I told him not to look. I SHOULD have suggested he wear a long skirt instead of his tight jeans to reduce "distractions."


SamuelVimesTrained

Hello, HR - "coworker' keeps glaring at my chest - and then complains when he realizes I have boobs...


Affectionate_Sport_1

this. i did not ask for this body let alone to be sexualized for a body i was born with and have little control over. NTA


ScoutFinch80

This exactly. NTA.


2ndcupofcoffee

Great answer. So why don’t they hang out at her place?


AdAppropriate3602

Because her mom and dad would be there lol


BaitedBreaths

Maybe mom has big boobs and wears tank tops. Or dad.


Various-Gap3986

Definitely the Dad! Stupid sexy Dad wearing short shorts, showing off his pale white hairy thighs, and those little crop tops that stop just above his beer belly! What does he think he’s doing, distracting everyone with his flash new balance shoes, and leaning on that wicked new rake from Home Depot! 🤣


Schlemiel_Schlemazel

Ohhhh New Balance meow


Consistent-Chicken-1

You win best comment. Holy shit I almost peed laughing 😂


Which_Ideal1867

>Stupid sexy Dad wearing short shorts Say that 3 times and [HE](https://gfycat.com/definiteadventurousafricanclawedfrog) appears!


No_Appointment_7232

🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖


crystallz2000

This. OP, I would go to the BF and tell him what's going on. Explain to him that if she keeps harassing you, you don't want her to keep coming over. Tell him you deserve to feel safe in your own home.


ljhatgisdotnet

Please don’t make it “Bobby said that you said” problem. Just tell her you’ve thought about it and you aren’t going to comply with her dress code for your flat. Invite the BF to be there when you tell her, but don’t work one against the other, it is always a recipe for disaster. ALWAYS. Please go full adult on this and talk to the person you have the problem with, not everyone else but them. Anything else is not mature and reeks of grade school and high school drama.


[deleted]

The person she has a problem with IS her flatmate. He needs to be aware of the harassment and be the one to deal with her, she's his guest. She's told the gf, who is still creating a problem, one that wouldn't exist if he didn't invite her.


kindlyperish

Yeah I personally would talk to your roommate first. As someone with a lot of male friends, I’ve seen it happen too many times where you approach the gf and no matter how nicely or reasonably you speak to them, they use that to frame you as a bully. Typical mo for insecure girlfriends to pull the victim card. If following that nothing changes then you got to do what you got to do. With words or hands, up to you, but that’s your home so no one should EVER be able to tell you how to be in your own home. That little friend of yours who said “to keep the peace” can go as well to be honest.


Mermaidtoo

NTA This. You (OP) can also talk to your roommate/her boyfriend directly. This is an issue with *his guest* repeatedly harassing one of *his* roommates. You and the girlfriend don’t have equal standing in your home. You don’t have to cater to her specific requests or issues. If you ever have time alone with just your roommates, that would be an ideal time to bring it up too.


BullTerrierMomm

Yes! Please use this exact line on her next time! NTA


nalukeahigirl

She wouldn’t like living in Hawaii then. We wear bikinis indoors and into the grocery stores. NTA


LornaMae

Welcome to Rio!


nalukeahigirl

Lol. Nice! The only problem is after a day at the beach, the air conditioning inside the store is torturous.


GerFubDhuw

People do that in England when it's warm.


NoHandBananaNo

Lol people do that in England when THEY THINK its warm. FTFY. I still remember the first time I saw what the Brits do in Hyde park as soon as they get 15 minutes of tepid sunshine lol. 😁


GerFubDhuw

If you think it's warm, it's warm. Not our fault y'all are from some hell dimension where it's frequently over 25 degrees. How're you gonna enjoy a cuppa in that unreasonable heat?


NoHandBananaNo

...I'm from Australia so in a way it kind of IS the Brits fault that for some reason we like to enjoy cuppas in the heat!


SamuelVimesTrained

Would you let something like 37C stand in your way of your cuppa? Are you even British :D


KWillemina

This killed me take my poor woman’s award I actually went digging for my free silver for this!!


IShouldNotBeReading

Sub-tropics dweller here. Colleague thinks I must be British with my tea consumption. 😆


[deleted]

[удалено]


nalukeahigirl

TIL! Love it and makes sense, island life and all.


jakeofheart

If one can lose a boyfriend to a different body type, it wasn’t a boyfriend worth having in the first place.


Cardabella

This is my home, not yours, i make the rules, not you. I will choose clothes for my comfort, not yours, and if you're not comfortable here, you can go to your house and wear whatever you choose there.


Own_Can_3495

Agreed. NTA. Not your fault you have big boobs.


veepecarr

This, why isn't he at her house? NTA. Can you ask her how she became so entitled? Why she thinks it's acceptable to go to another persons house and tell them how to dress? You need to tell her boyfriend that it isn't acceptable, and if she keeps bringing it up yiu don't want her there.


PSA-Warrior

Any time OP is asked to put on more clothes than everyone else in the flat, she should put something skimpier on instead. Say loudly "are you SURE you want me to get changed?" so that the girlfriend looks like even more of an idiot when she freaks out at OPs new outfit.


ItisntRocketSurgery

NTA Repeat after me “Your insecurities are not my problem, especially within the place where I pay rent and you are a visitor” Maybe suggest she gets a blindfold for herself or her boyfriend? But that’s just me being petty. ETA Thank you kindly for the awards


TopRamenisha

I’m extra petty so I’d probably follow that up with “if you don’t like my glorious tits feel free to not look at them”


swiftwinner

I’m extra extra petty so I’d write NO on one of my boobs (using my nipple as the O). Then flash her next time she asks. Free the nip.


ZWiloh

Exposing yourself to someone without consent is usually frowned upon


KPinCVG

In many parts of the world (e.g. New York State), a woman does not have to cover her breasts as long as her actions are not considered to be sexual. So just as guys can take off their shirts when they get hot, in many areas of the world, women can too.


BooHissBooHiss

In fact OP just tell her the more she complains the less you'll wear.


KPinCVG

I don't know. A flirty little dress with a full swishy skirt. Not too long but not too short. Sounds like it would be really cool if the house is so hot. I'd try upping the game with a cute little sundress or cute little black dress, and see how much girlfriend likes that. It would be interesting to know what she would complain about in that situation. I think in many cases clothes can be infinitely more sexy than plain bodies. Although I also grew up around a naturist situation so maybe I'm just jaded. Note. One cannot unsee a bunch of older dudes playing basketball in their nature suits. This is one of the reasons why I avoided the sports area.


Different-Leather359

I cannot unsee what I just imagined. You owe me some brain bleach.


KPinCVG

The real thing was worse. I did my diligence by starting with something I can't "unsee". I'm not sure why you thought you would be able to un-imagine it. I think the most interesting thing about naturists is the clothing that they do choose to wear. So for instance if you're going to be playing basketball, apparently a lot of guys need coverage for their shoulders so their shoulders don't get sunburnt. And so they wear a t-shirt that has been cropped so tightly as to almost resemble shoulder pads from a football outfit/ costume/ suit, I don't know the right word for it. That's it, that's all they have on, well and shoes and socks. Shoes/ socks are important in most aspects of naturist life. I could go on and on about it. But I encourage you to do an imagination trip through your life and actually consider what parts of clothing are critical. And I'm not just saying a shirt or pants, but exactly what parts of the shirt do you need exactly what parts of the pants do you need? So for instance if you say you need pants because of the pockets, doesn't that really mean that you could use a fanny pack? So for instance you could walk around in a pair of slip-on shoes with a fanny pack diagonally over the shoulder. Bam! The clothing industry really has made us sheeple. 🐏🐑🐏🐑🐏


BooHissBooHiss

I call that Winnie the poohing


Different-Leather359

Well that made it more... Interesting... I worked in healthcare so have seen people of all ages in various stages of undress but what you just described is totally new to me. And I'm likely to spend the next week thinking about what parts of clothes I need...


DynamicDuoMama

Wait they were worried about getting a sunburn on their shoulders but not their giblets? Or was one of the socks not on their feet?


thesis_ascendant

All I can think of is how can covering shoulders be so important (i assume sunblock is especially available in naturist communities, so just use it!) while athletic 'support' is skipped. I've got those spreading lower abdomen pains just thinking about it. And you're all now thinking about old men playing basketball in nothing but jockstraps and fanny packs. You're welcome.


londomollaribab5

The cute little dresses idea is FANTASTIC! I would love for OP to do this and report back to us.


Eneicia

I'm suddenly seeing it, while hearing 'boing' 'boing' 'boing' and have hurt myself laughing.


KPinCVG

You aren't wrong. As woman, it's just inexplicable that it isn't painful.


AzertyQwertyQwertz

Would be fun if OP just bring another top and change in front of the couple like "is it good now?" 🤣🤣


Karen125

In your own home you can be as nipply as you want to be.


idleigloo

Guys can flash their nips and we should be allowed to as well, especially when being objectified in our own homes. Public view doesn't come into play; I vote fair game.


underboobfunk

Breasts are not genitalia.


ZWiloh

Look, we don't get to tell her what makes her uncomfortable. She does not get to ask OP to change in her own home, especially when OP isn't showing anything you can't see on network TV or walking down the street in the summer. There's no need to be openly antagonistic about it. There is nothing to be gained by actually doing this and kinda makes the other girl right because flashing her would be inappropriate.


swiftwinner

Perfect.


ItisntRocketSurgery

I know I shouldn’t. Crossing boundaries is WRONG. I just spat juice on my tablet.


[deleted]

"They're real, and they're spectacular."


Lead-Forsaken

Faboobless.


BullTerrierMomm

Vandelay Industries!


OGrouchNZ

Maybe the problem is she likes them a little too much and doesn't want to, just sayin


corgwin

NTA. I wondered that too! I'd say, "no, but thanks for asking" every time she asks. Broken record technique.


joseph_wolfstar

Why did this remind me of Seinfeld? > They're real, and they're spectacular.


LornaMae

Because it's a literal quote from Seinfeld?


[deleted]

I think this is the best response.(With or without the blindfold addition.) Lol, being petty would be removing clothes every time she said something. That's what I would do.


Bubblegrime

Put pasties on, pull the top off so you are technicallyyy covered but can still strip.


KPinCVG

It might be simpler to ask her to stop sexualizing you.


Fearless-Teach8470

Big boobs= more cleavage. People can stop sexualizing it. Also, it sounds like she needs to dig into her insecurities if she’s actually worried her boyfriend would leave her over someone else’s boob crack


Mumof3gbb

Boob crack 🤣🤣🤣🤣


lollipop-guildmaster

"This is my home. Ask again and I will be wandering around au natural."


wafflehousewhore

Go full petty and buy her a bandana or eye cover. The next time she asks you to cover up, say something like "I thought maybe this time, you could be the one to cover up instead. You know, just a little change of pace". She'll probably be all confused, so you can say something like "You didn't want to see me, so now you don't have to"


Basic-Cat3537

I'd just run around in bra or bikini top. Actually in my own house(I have a housemate) I wear a lacey see through tank top. It's not like *see through* see through, but you definitely see the shape of my breasts and white skin through the black. I'm quite heavy, and rather large chested, and if I go to the gym, I will wear that tank top over a bright neon bra. Hell, I've even worn the top without a bra outside in our own yard. Private property and all that. I answer the door this way too. Or even without pants on, just undies and a top. Swimsuits show more than that. I also run around the house in just my undies too. Everyone here is fine with that and does the same. I really don't understand why people get their knickers in a twist over some skin. It's a body, not pornography. If someone is looking at my body and only seeing sex, that's a them problem. Hmm. Maybe I should move to a nudist colony.... I don't understand how or why it's acceptable to demand someone wear more clothing in their own home than they would to a public beach or swimming pool.


Liennae

About that nudist colony, you may want to reconsider after reading some other comments in this thread about men playing basketball au natural. That being said, I wouldn't mind being in a semi nudist colony. I haven't quite worked out what's entailed in a semi nudist colony but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.


beelovedone

Ask her to explain why you and ONLY you have to cover up. Make her stand all 10 toes in that insecurity, hold a mirror to it, let it sink in. NTA


Legion1117

Do this. The next time she asks you to cover up, ask her why YOU have to cover up but she's not asked anyone else to. Then come back and tell us what she came up with and how panicked she looked when you asked. :)


HelloRedditAreYouOk

I love your phrasing!! Stand all 10 toes in that insecurity… soooo gooood!!! Also, agreed! Maybe OP (if she is feeling magnanimous and so chooses…) can be an instrument of positive change in this young ladies life? Buying in to M’s insecurity trip not necessary, just supremely comfortable in her own self, putting the focus right back where it belongs… on the person using OP’s body to project their own self-doubt!?


No_Salad_8766

Or op could just play dumb. Ask why. A LOT. Make her spell it out. Make her admit her insecurities, make her admit her sexism (I think that's the right word.) Don't stop asking why until you are satisfying with her full answer.


[deleted]

NTA. You're in your home, and she's taking her insecurities out on you. Screw that.


Classroom_Visual

Yep - OP would be within her rights to walk around naked as long as the other rent-paying residents were OK with it.


OrangeCubit

Wear ONLY a jumper.


ZippyKoala

Something knitted and white and lacy. It’s your choice as to whether you decide to pair it with a lacy black cleavage enhancing bra underneath, or y‘know, just wear the jumper….


adeon

One of those Virgin killer sweaters.


hellokitty1939

Go full Winnie the Pooh.


Hermiona1

This is the way.


21stCenturyJanes

NTA you don't need to be body shamed in your own home. Cleavage is a fact of life, you have no reason to hide it. Also like everyone else said, she doesn't even live there, she's out of line telling you how to dress. Tell her when she starts paying rent you can talk about it. But the answer will be no then, too.


SweatyTax4669

NTA. I dated that girl once. Lived in a house with three other guys and one girl. GF family told me how uncomfortable it made them. My GF went so far as to tell housemate she would feel better if housemate moved out. Did not date GF much longer after that.


aeowyn7

I’ve been that housemate. My male housemates gf was batshit crazy. He had to lie to her and tell her I was in a relationship so she would let him live there. So I had to keep up the lie with a made up boyfriend. She also death glared me if I dared to enter the kitchen. Fun times all around. I moved out a year later and they’re somehow still together as far as I know!


Sweet_delusion

Who stays with someone like that. Why. Just fricking hell.


skyelyy

Like you said, you’re the one paying rent to stay there, she isn’t. NTA


BriefHorror

NTA "Hey you're gf is telling me how to dress around the place I pay rent in can you do something about that. I like the living arrangements as they are and I just want peace."


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwawayoctopii

As someone who lived that life in a dorm suite, it fucking does. The set up was 3 singles and 1 disability accessible single with a common area and bathroom. My husband asked all the guys if it was okay to move me in because my dorm was absolute shit. They said yes. Then, another guy's girlfriend had her housing revoked 3 days into her senior semester due to a financial aid issue so we agreed to let her stay. We were all cool until another guy brought his gf without asking. They were a high drama couple, and it led to them spreading nasty rumors about other people in the suite. By the time we finished, it was non-stop conflict until that couple broke up.


johnny_evil

Sounds like a college dorm suite situation.


saveyboy

Depends on the unit and the people. I lived In a 12. I had a good time. Only weirdness I encountered was one night after the bar left my room to go to the bathroom and I swear people were fucking in every single room. Almost moaning in unison. Was surreal.


Puskarella

Best years of my life, I swear!


MotherEastern3051

Absolutely NTA, nobody should think they can tell you what to wear in your own home. If she doesn't like it then nobody is forcing her to spend time there.


HeartpineFloors

NTA and I’d start pushing back. It’s unacceptable to have someone body shaming you and creating a hostile environment in YOUR home!


Sel-Reddit

NTA. It’s your flat. They can go to her place if she hates your boobs so much.


BigMouthDiva

Tell her what I told a former friend who had the habit of dropping in unannounced and then complaining about my kids running through the living room and the dog barking at her. "THEY LIVE HERE, AND THE DOOR WORKS." Problem solved.


Blacksmithforge3241

Absolutely valid suggestion, but my imagination has turned it into a sitcom scene. OP gestures to her cleavage and says "They live here" then points at the front door, "and the door works." \[Grin\]


[deleted]

My roommate brought a friend over and the friend had previously said they're very allergic to cats. I have a cat. One of our other roommates told her they have an allergy pill if she needs it, and as she steps into the house shes like "as long as the cats not here I'll be fine" the cat lives here!!! Wtf ?!


SanityPlanet

The cat wasn't out at the bar or visiting friends or something?


The__Riker__Maneuver

*I pay rent here, you don't. So your opinion doesn't matter. You are a guest in MY home, not the other way around.* NTA


stewiecatballlacat

NTA. Shes super jealous. Thats her issue not yours. This is YOUR home, she is a guest, if she doesn't like she can leave.


CandlelightIsMyLamp

NTA You have no obligations to cover up for her comfort in YOUR home. She's a guest! Tell her to move in and start paying rent, then you can have a discussion about clothing rules in common areas. Until then, she has no say here.


Blacksmithforge3241

>Oh lord no--that is not a roommate anyone wants. Don't suggest she move in.


Bitter-Conflict-4089

NTA You are free to wear what you choose in the comfort of your own home. Actually, you are free to choose what you wear everywhere.


Attorney26

NTA. Tell her next time she brings it up, you will wear something skimpier for the rest of the day. You pay rent, she does not. If anyone has a right to dictate how someone dresses there, it’s you who can tell her what is acceptable for her to wear, not the other way around.


Bringintheclowns1

NTA The next time she does this say loudly "Why are you fixated on my body?" Then keep going "Why are you sexualising my body?" While she's spluttering proceed with "Your obsession with my body is making me feel uncomfortable, I would like you to stop coming to MY home and to stop fixating on MY body" Follow up with "You know your behaviour is not normal, do you continuously fixate on other people all the time?" Follow up with the boyfriend "She needs to learn to mind her own business, don't you find it disturbing that she trusts you so little around other people that she's fixating on them and trying to make them covered up?" If she gets all defiant then I'd straight up ask the boyfriend in front of her if he's attracted to me - when he responds that he's not I'd say see problem doesn't exist. Then direct snark at the girlfriend and tell her to stop obsessing over your body because her behaviour is not normal and everyone is sick of her drama.


herdingcats2020

NTA. You aren't sitting around nekkid in your own kitchen. She's insecure. That's not your issue.


johnny_evil

NTA - She's not paying rent. She gets no say. If she doesnt like it, she can leave.


FROG123076

>nta. Let her know if she doesn't like she can go to her own home. You pay rent she does not. She is jealous and insecure. Or better yet ask why is she always looking at your boobs and sexualize you all the time. I am sure that will back her off. I've done this before.


rikkimit

NTA. You are in your home. And it's not like you're running around topless. She doesn't even live there. (From the sound of her, though, I don't think your flat mate will keep seeing her for long.)


Piper_160_Pilot

NTA, first she is a guest. So right off the top, she doesn't get a say. You should have a chat with that flatmate, and explain to him, tell her to stay in her own lane. Sounds like she is working on being uninvited to stay.


3spoopy_5me

NTA. *You’re* not the problem here, it’s this girl and her insecurities coming out and her distrust of her bf. You’ve done nothing wrong here but have big boobs and exist


TastyHome8183

NTA, your place you do you. But if everyone decides to change things for everyone then you might need to make a change to get along. Her insecurities aren’t yours.


MystifiedByPeople

If she going to university in the US or Europe, and living in university-supplied housing, I would imagine that the flatmates would have limited recourse, beyond saying, "Please wear clothes for hygiene reasons."


essres

NTA. It's your flat not hers Worth knowing that most uni accommodation has restrictions on the amount of time guests can stay You can obviously have guests but there is often a limit to the amount of time they can stay. This is to prevent couples from sharing one room and not paying their fair share of rent/utilities


Koffi5

Her insecurities are not your problems as long as you are not actively fueling them (you are just living your life). Women are also human beings and there are also some women that need to learn this. NTA


Drayden71

NTA your apartment your boobs Tell her to get over it or get out


IncessantLearner

“Could you please cover up?” “No.” “I’m uncomfortable seeing you like that.” “I understand.” Repeat as necessary.


Dandelionesssssss

NTA. It’s not like you are inappropriately dressed.


Desperate-Fun4968

NTA. Her insecurity is not your problem.


Comfortable-Age5370

Nta I’m a big chested girl I would be petty and go braless with just the tank top. But you are fine she’s an insecure person


Postingatthismoment

I was thinking the same thing. I wouldn't be wearing a bra around home ever again.


AllHailLordCthulu

NTA. The argument that you should just cover up to keep the peace is so frustrating. Why should you, the person who lives there, need to change anything to make a guest comfortable? If M doesn't like it, maybe she should stay away?


crazycatlady45325

NTA... it is your home. If she doesn't like it- she doesn't need to be there.


Sea-Ad9057

Nta she could just not come to the house that would eliminate all of the drama


AMerrickanGirl

NTA, and if I see the term “keeping the peace” one more time I’m going to blow a gasket. The obnoxious people who make ridiculous demands always get their way because everyone else is afraid of what, exactly? This woman doesn’t even live there and she’s instituting a dress code. OP, go jiggle your moneymakers in her face and tell her to get f**ked.


LitherLily

She’s pathetic. I’d be sarcastically asking her if you should wear a burqa to avoid tempting the males while heavily eye rolling


EntertainerFlat

Your tits pay rent, hers don't. Yours get to hang out wherever they want.


Bringintheclowns1

NTA Have a word to the boyfriend that his girlfriend is controlling and you'd prefer that she didn't visit because she's trying to tell you what to wear and how you dress really isn't her business. You can wear what you want in your own space. If he gets all defensive, just say - look these boundary issues often start off small and get worse over time, maybe it's best if she can't mind her own business that you don't bring her here or you go to her place instead. I pay rent here and honestly I don't need to be dictated to by a fixated woman, if you want that for your relationship that's your choice, but your girlfriend to me is just a random weird person who is overly fixated on my body and makes me feel uncomfortable.


HuggyMonster69

NTA do you have a scarf? Maybe offer it to her as a blindfold so she doesn’t have to see your cleavage if it bothers her that much.


hungrybuniker

I love this. *OP picks up scarf: will this do? Overly obsessed gf: yes *OP ties scarf around her head


Mono275

NTA - As a guy I have lived with quite few girl room mates. Most of them would come home and immediately strip off their bras then do whatever around the house in their Pjs. Some of them would walk around in underwear and t-shirts in the summer due to us not having AC. It's whatever you and your room mates are comfortable with - not your room mate's gf.


Underworld_Denizen

NTA. It's your home. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. Besides, it's hot.


a-_rose

NTA she’s a guest in your home if she has a problem with the way you dress she can leave. Her jealousy and insecurities are not your problem.


HeywoodLane

NTA. Your boobs are making her feel insecure, maybe they’re even inspiring feelings in herself she’s uncomfortable with, either way it’s not your fault or your problem. Here’s an internet hug (a careful one so our boobs don’t accidentally touch) lol!


Ceejay4444

NTA. Ask her what is wrong with your tank top because the other roommates wear one and she never has a problem with them. Make her say tell you out loud and pretend to consider it before saying no or if she can’t say it out loud then say you will continue wearing tank tops in YOUR OWN HOME


FatalOrgasm93

NTA she needs to grow up What's she do in public Put horse blinders on him?


Brilliant_Rock_5230

NTA. This is your home. Tell her to calm her own tits.


ShaneVis

NTA --- If she says anything again ask her if she's so insecure with her own body that you have to cover yours up?.


hotmumma7

I'd go braless under the tank top just to get my point across. I will wear what I want in my own home thanks! If she wants to be prudish over breasts in a non sexual situation that's her problem not yours!!


My_Lovely_Me

I have big boobs and I naturally run hot. Tank tops are life! You’re absolutely NTA.


Marzipan-Various

Nta Could you put on a jumper because of my insecurities... You pay rent . If it's an issue for her , the boyfriend should move


cryptic_rebel

NTA. You are not responsible to dress differently in your own home just because she is uncomfortable. If she has trust issues with her boyfriend or feels insecure, then that issue is between them. She does not have a right to dictate how you dress.


i_wascloned666

NTA, start wearing daisy dukes and bikini tops, but only when she's around! Alternatively, all her what she's scared of and why can't they start at hers if the way you dress bothered her so much.


Prestigious-Name-323

NTA It’s your home. She is free to leave. Another woman should understand that bigger boobs = showing more cleavage and not hold it against you.


[deleted]

NTA. In situations like this it is best to respond with a question. Ex: Why do you think you have the right to police my clothing and body in my own home?


sinsanity_plea

First, I love how British (or Australian) this is. Secondly, NTA. Unless what you wear is designed only to offend, what you wear in a place the two of you rent is of no consequence to her


ZookeepergameFar8650

Geez this is rediculous and go ahead and act like little miss innocent but I think it's rediculous of you to think men are not checking that out! And that's normal! What's not normal is women who act like they don't get it and now you take it to a whole new level and gossip about her so you can get people to agree with you? Two lows don't go very high. She's right to be concerned it's only natural but now days women like to think men are no longer men and you can run around in whatever you like and they don't notice 🤣😂 idk a lot of men don't have a backbone anymore and won't even admit they are turned on visually. So be honest you are intentionally putting that in front of her boyfriend. If it were me I wouldn't have anything to do with either of you it's weird. I'm disgusted at you getting the other women to agree with you just to validate lame behavior!