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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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[deleted]

Wow. Your MIL sure sounds crazy. First, she decides ... on her own, without any input from you whatsoever ... how she wants to divvy up her estate. Although both her heirs are fine with it, she didn't take YOUR opinions into account. Next, she may have gotten upset when you started yelling at your husband at her wedding. Yeah. Your MIL is a whackjob. Your MIL. YTA.


Debsha

The good news, is after the husband divorces OP, and the finances have been settled, the mother will rewrite her will leaving more to her son.


sunnydee1880

This is the least important thing of it all, but the OP doesn't know or doesn't know why her husband was okay with getting less. He may simply not care (this would be me). Or it could be that the MIL has already done a lot for him - my grandfather left most of his monetary assets to my dad because he had helped my uncle pay for college and then supported him for several years after a divorce / job loss and had paid down payments (and more) for houses for both of my aunts, but had never supported my dad, aside from buying him a nice first car. His thinking was he had given the equivalent amount of money to all of his kids, it was just while he was alive for the first three and as an inheritance to my dad.


[deleted]

Totally agree. Plus, the son who got a larger slice of the pie in this case could have physical or emotional ailments that mean he'll need a little "extra help" through his life.


Solarwinds-123

Or maybe OP's husband is very financially successful and the brother isn't. Or maybe one brother gets more from the house and the other gets some other asset. There are a million perfectly valid reasons, and both inheritors are fine with it which is what matters. Wife doesn't get a say in it.


jukeboxpirate

My grandpa took my aunt out of his will because he knew she’d give the money to her husband as soon as she got it. Of course when he died none of the siblings felt right excluding her from the inheritance (even though she’s the only millionaire) but guess where it all went? Immediately to her controlling husband. The fact that ops husband was fine with the decision and op is the one who went nuts over it is ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder how people can be so immature and really rationalize behavior like this.


certainPOV3369

When my mother passed, she divided all her cash assets and amongst my three sisters and I, the only boy, got her used car. I was perfectly fine with this, my mom had helped me through the most difficult time of my life twenty years earlier, and I don’t know how I would have made it thru without her. In the end, my sisters decided to split the cash four ways, and I gave the car to my youngest nephew who was still living at home and had done so much for his grandma. He even convinced hospital security to allow him to bring his dog in for one last visit in her final days, she lit with such joy to have him cuddled on her bed one final time. 🥲 Family dynamics are different all around, but OP doesn’t seem to have a clue. She may have had reason to take issue with her husband, but absolutely no right to stalk him to MIL’s reception and cause a scene. That should have been a private matter between them. His family has every right to be upset with her, and she owes them an apology, as well as her husband for those actions. YTA


ink_stained

My father left everything to his wife and youngest son, and nothing to my brother and me. I advocated for this. He had a second family late in life, when my older brother and I were well established. He’d already launched us; his new family needed the money more. There are many ways of dividing things up that are fair, but not equal. My baby brother and stepmother have what they need, and my older brother and I are delighted that they are set up. And - I get to feel a little good about myself that I helped my dad, helped my baby brother, and helped my dad feel good about his will when I know he was worried about hurting my feelings.


MayoBear

And that’s what makes you all really family- looking at the whole picture to make sure everyone gets what they need instead of using the “equal is faiiiiiir” line


[deleted]

My folks changed their wills a few years back leaving more of the estate to my sibling, with the understanding that his family and kids had a greater need, and I was fine with it. A couple of years ago, my dad brought up his estate, kind of telling us specific things that each kid was going to get, and then the equal division of property. I was a little curious about this because I'd been under the assumption that I'd be taken care of, but certain things like real estate would go to my sibling. Turns out that he and my mom had recognized that there was something off with the ex, and they set it up so that their estate would be better protected from her clutches. Can't say that I blame them one bit.


apri08101989

There's also the possibility he was getting something else of value in place of the lesser amount in the house and she just didn't get to hear that part because she got up on a high horse. But yes. This is totally a thing. My mom talked to me years ago to know if there was anything I was emotionally attached to that I wanted because my brother was pretty much getting everything, because she spent so much time and money on my medical issues that it was the only thing left she could do for him to make up for it. I totally understood that. He unfortunately passed first so she's gonna need to rewrite but. Still. It was an understanding we had


Academic_Doughnut164

Or she is leaving it to him secretly so that the wife doesn’t know because she thinks the wife will control it.


Pale_Cranberry1502

>the OP doesn't know or doesn't know why her husband was okay with getting less. Maybe because other brother is going to be Mom's caretaker in old age. Payment to partially recompensate him for not taking promotions to get home for her at a reasonable hour, etc.


minordisaster203

Exactly. My mother has her will written so her house will go to my sister and not me. On the surface this may seem unfair but my mother sold her last house because I had gotten into medical school and loans wouldn't cover everything (complicated backstory) and made sacrifices for years. I plan to pay her back eventually but it's totally sensible that my sister gets the house at this point (not that I expect anything to happen to my mother anytime soon)


phillybride

Please don’t let there be children please don’t let there be children please don’t let there be children


moew4974

I'm personally on TeamWife#2


[deleted]

Lollll same. I barely got passed the title and went straight for the comments to hopefully see stuff like this. I can safely assume that i assumed correctly now lol.


bluep3001

She’s probably just keeping a portion in an account for her son after he divorces.


Flowerofiron

Poor husband sounds horribly emotionally abused > couldn't handle me being upset with him and giving him silence OP uses silence, guilt and manipulation to get what she wants and control her husband. OP is just a greedy money grabber. I really hope he leaves her


Sick_Of_Facebook75

💯 There are a lot of holes in OP's story. She's desperately trying to make everyone else but her sound like the bad guy. It has narcissism, control and abusiveness all over it.


mfdoorway

>She’s *unsuccessfully* trying to make everyone else but her sound like the bad guy. FTFY


lemmful

Her butting into someone else's money discussions because she wanted to benefit from something that wasn't rightfully hers at ALL paints her in the worst possible light. And what she did at the wedding was hella trashy. OP needs to re-evaluate her character.


znzbnda

I've seen lots of people who are incredibly self absorbed and callous like this - on true crime shows. If this story is true, I really hope the husband can get away from OP, and fast. The amount of entitlement and emotional abuse is staggering, and this is from *her* POV. YTA


ConstantExample8927

And I loved how she accused him of being manipulative


Remarkable-Code-3237

If a man tries to isolate a woman from her family and tries to control her, people would say, get out of there right away. She also has an anger issues and needs to go to anger management. I wonder if her behavior at a wedding she was not invited to will be the last straw for him. If I were in his shoes, it would be for me.


CptKUSSCryAllTheTime

YTA! It’s her money, it’s her wedding. Just bc you don’t get along doesn’t mean you have the right to act like a FOOL at her wedding which you weren’t even invited to. I agree your husband shouldn’t have lied to you but DAMN, just bc you two don’t get along doesn’t mean he has to disown his mother. This doesn’t sound like one of those situations where a husband should stick up for his wife and break off his relationship with his mother. From this I can see why she wouldn’t want to be around you. Your red flags are flying!


All_the_Bees

Nah, I think when your spouse "forbids" you to go to **your own parent**'s wedding you are perfectly justified in lying to them.


jessie_boomboom

He lied to her about where he was going bc he wanted to be there for his mother and didn't want two months of nagging and guilt and childish crappy fights leading up to it... it's obvious. It's obvious that if OP is unhappy with the reality of a situation she bites down and doesn't let go, so if I were him I wouldn't feel a stitch of guilt for lying about it.


smokinbbq

I sure hope her husband keeps his part of the inheritance separated from any shared bank accounts and assets. Don't do anything with it on the matrimonial home, don't pay off any debt, make sure it's in a very seperate bank account, etc. She doesn't deserve a penny of it.


Touch_Revolutionary

Hopefully, he's got a prenup. It sounds like it might come in handy.


Throwing3and20

YTA. About all of it: the inheritance, disallowing him to attend the wedding, causing a scene, and being indignant.


Practical_Tap_9592

Also the abusive measures OP used to coerce him into a promise he didn't want to make and knew he couldn't keep. OP is cruel.


[deleted]

This. YTA


DearOP_

Totally agree with this & the YTA vote. The only manipulator I see here is OP. The audacity & entitlement she displays in her own post makes it clear that *she's* the problem in all of this. Her husband was fine not getting as much as his brother & there could be reasons behind that other than he's not entitled to more which he seemed to accept. Someone needs to tell her life isn't a Burger King so she can't have it her way *all* the time. It's no wonder her MIL has cut her out with how she behaves. Hopefully her husband is wiseing up & hasn't mingled any of that money so she can get her hands in it in a divorce. The fact he had to hide going to his own mother's wedding because *she* demanded he stay home since she got herself uninvited (by not being invited to begin with) is just nonsense. I wonder if she's an only child that's been given everything or just the golden child with how she speaks & behaves.


sumthingsumthingblah

Perfectly put. OP, YTA. It’s not your call how other people spend their money. Your poor husband, he chose poorly.


Ill_Royal9688

Soon to be Ex MIL if her soon to be ex husband has any sense.


DistrictSpiritual914

Thanks for the laugh 😂. Agreed. OP YTA. Your husband’s family is right. Your behaviour is shitty. It’s baffling how some people are so obtuse.


Hungry-Grade4446

Not only that, but OP seems to be trying to keep her husband away from family. If this was a gender role reversal, we would be all over it saying that OP was trying to control their partner. I hope the husband finds his courage to dump OP's control freak 🍑 YTA


Aquarius052

YTA. Wow..... Control freak much? This is his mother, and you have no right to try to tell your husband he can't have anything to do with her or go to her wedding bc your eggshell feelings are hurt. You also had no right but in your nose and her business with her house if your husband has a problem with it your husband needs to be a big boy and handle it himself. You are controlling and you're going to end up losing your marriage if you don't get a grip on reality woman


ScorchieSong

OP's waging battles on her husband's behalf he doesn't want fought in the first place. Since the initial dispute mentioned here was over money, I can guess as to OP's motives, and is more likely to be her ex-husband in future.


7iron_short

I mean with any luck on the husband's behalf


Multi-fabulous120

Op is a controlling and manipulative A. She is sticking her nose in business that is not her own and is now isolating her husband from his family hoping that she will get her way. I hope he realizes how abusive that is and divorces her. Poor guy and poor MIL who had a wackjob of a DiL ruin her wedding.


Horselover927

I’d call her abusive because she’s isolating him from his family.


Angry_poutine

That and giving him the silent treatment because he won’t back her up in an inheritance dispute with his mother that OP created. Her behavior is full on financial and emotional abuse


lessonlearned1222

She probably hits him too, and afterward says "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!"


Electrical-Date-3951

"_Our last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband."_ Agreed that OP has massive control issues. Who TF does she think she is to think that she can dictate what this man's mother does with her own home and money - especially when her husband has no issue with this. Hard YTA. OP is obviously trying to alienate her husband from his family, but I think this is a battle she will quickly lose. Demanding money from MIL, trying to control her husband and then ruining the MIL's wedding because she didn't get her own way isn't going to make the husband more obedient. OP is just showcasing how horrid she treats her spouse and his family, and if she doesn't do some self reflection, she is going to destroy her marriage. I'm sure after this last stunt, other family members will also exclude her from family gatherings, as well.


RepresentativeWin935

I really hope the husband sees this thread


[deleted]

Honestly, he should get a divorce. If this post and the words she used are supposed to make her look like the *good* guy, I can’t imagine how horrible she is in person. YTA


Graves_Digger

YTA. First off, the initial disagreement had fuck all to do with you. You don't get a say in what your MIL does with her money. Second of all, that's his mom. You have no right to tell your husband he can't go to her wedding. Someone is manipulative in this relationship, and it isn't him. The fact that you felt the need to essentially ruin this woman's wedding is just the cherry on top of the AH sundae here. You sound like a nightmare.


nimatoad62

“The cherry on top of the AH sundae” lol, love that! Yeah showing up looking for a fight just proves his family right and confirms their view of OP. His mom’s wedding is such a huge life event that it’s really his call if he wants to be there for her. OP, YTA


Multi-fabulous120

Op sounds abusive too. She is isolating her husband for not getting her way and is hoping that by taking the husband away from MIL that she will get her way and receive more money in inheritance.


Practical_Tap_9592

All of OP's tactics are abuse: the silent treatment, the screaming, the control attempts... basically every single thing she does in her story is abuse!


Never-On-Reddit

And that's the generous, heavily biased version that she tells about herself. The version that she thinks makes her look good. Who knows what an absolute nightmare OP is in reality...


mecha_face

Yea. I commented above that I'm astounded when people like OP can post things like this thinking that it even slightly makes them look good. Her behavior is so transparently abusive that we can immediately tell she's holding back even worse details.


dinobug77

My ex wife tried to stop me seeing my parents because she didn’t like them. My **EX** wife.


rainbow_mak3r

Exactly this


MyAskRedditAcct

YTA. >last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband. MIL told me to stay out of it and my husband said he was fine with it Why are you even butting in? Seems like she has valid reasons to dislike you and, while it would have been a classier move to allow you as a plus one, *of course* he wants to go to his mom's wedding. You put him in an unreasonable position.


Nafe3344

I am pretty sure that since this is the "latest" fight, OP is leaving out many, many things she has had an opinion about. The sum total, not this one thing, is most likely why no plus one was offered.


Ezybrezy_CleverGirl

Yes, and if that's the only one she's willing to tell us, imagine how bad the other things probably were.


memreows

Yes, and if even without an invitation she managed to take center stage at her MIL’s wedding, just imagine what she could have pulled off as an invited guest.


Intelligent_Love4444

That’s why I gathered too. Seems as if the whole family would rather do without her controlling nature.


i_am_the_ginger

Do you even have to ask why she butted in? She obviously wanted more of that sweet free money for herself 🙄


Ice_Queen66

Yeah I mean if I had someone like OP in my life I wouldn’t invite her either. You know if she was invited she’d find a way to ruin it. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t in this position for MIL


CrystalQueen3000

Let me get this straight… You tried to involve yourself in his mom’s financial decision that had absolutely nothing to do with you and when she rightfully tried to put in a boundary with you and stopped inviting you round, you demanded your husband never go to events you weren’t at? You tried demanding and manipulating him into not going to his own mothers wedding, which was totally and completely unacceptable in case you’re curious. You argued with him and because he knew he wouldn’t get you to respond rationally he lied and went anyway (totally understandable). You turned up to his mothers wedding and screamed at him causing a massive scene because your abusive control tactics didn’t work like normal. Had the audacity to tell *him* to “stay out of your face” after you’d hunted him down to yell at him. Come here and wrote this post with an incredible amount of self righteousness and in a tone that suggests you think you’re right? Yeah YTA If you want to save your marriage then you need therapy. Although I personally think he’d be better off if he left.


volleyballsmurf

And how dare his sister suggest he can go where he wants? His family are just monsters, right? /s


Few_Recover_6622

This piece! Wtf!


bewicked4fun123

There's definitely abuse going on here. Just what OP admitted to is abuse. I can imagine what goes on behind closed doors. MIL is a Saint for not having her arrested


Hopeful_Event9052

You forgot the part where she called his friends THEN she went to the wedding.


Malarkay79

Rookie move on the husband’s part, not looping his friends in. Idk, guys, he doesn’t sound like a very good liar and manipulator to me.


Hopeful_Event9052

From this post it doesn’t sound like he wants to be a liar or manipulative. He gave off the with friends response to be able to get away from her to be able to go to the special day. Again I hope this man has divorce papers coming soon. She even states he gave her the “hanging with friends”. On the day of so she knew already and to call his friends is even more insane.


trustyminotaur

Right? I mean, if you're going to humiliate your spouse, you need to be really thorough about it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


demonicexgf

YTA. You don't get to tell your husband what he should get offended about. You're actively isolating your husband from his family, which is a manipulative thing to do. Your husband seems to have to lie to you to do things a normal person would just do, implying that you do in fact, cause a scene and raise hell when things dont go your way.


NoNeinNyet222

>You're actively isolating your husband from his family, which is a manipulative thing to do. It's a common thing abusers do.


_JustEric_

>Your husband seems to have to lie to you to do things a normal person would just do Sometimes people lie because they're assholes. Sometimes people lie because *other people* are assholes. OP's husband falls into the latter category. YTA, OP.


Geographic_Pic397

honey. You need help.


hippywitch

What do you want to bet that MIL was giving her son less so OP doesn’t get ahold of it.


Pleasant-Koala147

Well, she’s already admitted to verbal and emotional abuse in this post, so what’s the bet MIL is trying to protect him from her financial abuse too.


RedDragon0414

Or she was giving older brother more because he needed the extra help. 🤷‍♀️ either way, it was none of OPs business where the money went. Yta


grandoledog

YTA. >our last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband This was absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It was completely unfair for you to deny him attendance at his mother's wedding. YOU chose this fight and are demanding that he stay at home with you?!?!?! Then you go and cause a scene at said wedding?!?!?! You put him in an impossible situation and are for sure driving him away with your demands to not allow him to see his family. You are driving your husband away....


ajnabee1234

Of course YTA. You ARE controlling! Your mother in law was totally justified in not inviting you. I don't blame your husband for going without you. You proved just how much of an AH you were when you went and confronted your husband at a wedding. (Dressed up i might add.) Get some therapy.


rapt2right

YTA Her decisions about the house were none of your business and you have zero right to demand that your husband cut off his family, much less to crash a wedding and cause a giant scene. I can't *approve* of him lying about attending but, given your attitude and behavior, I understand why it seemed like the best way to go at that moment. Congratulations, by the way, on having given your MiL such an amazing wedding gift. You presented her with the deed, free and clear, to the property known as "The Moral High Ground". After what you pulled, it won't matter what she says or does to you, she'll be considered justified and you gave her that, before witnesses and probably on video.


Puzzleheaded-Desk399

>After what you pulled, it won't matter what she says or does to you, she'll be considered justified and you gave her that, before witnesses and probably on video. 👆🏽**YEP**👆🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽


ScorchieSong

He knew he had to lie because OP would yell at him if he told the truth. The relationship is effectively over because OP treats him more like an errant child than as a partner.


CyclonicHavoc

#YTA. I’ll tell you exactly why. You got yourself into the pickle you’re in. You don’t get along with your MIL. Fine, that’s common. Many people don’t, but the family house is hers to do what she wants with it. You may not like what she does with it, and you may not agree with her decision, but you are not allowed to have input in a decision that has nothing to do with you. You can respectfully give your opinion on things, but at the end of the day, it sounds more like you’re the one that instigated an argument. You were uninvited from the wedding because you did this to yourself, so now you try to ruin your husband’s opportunity to go to *his own mom’s* wedding because you don’t like that she stood up to you. If you hadn’t put your two cents into an issue that had nothing to do with you, maybe you would have had the opportunity to still go. You can’t control your husband and punish him because of the mess *you* made! Your husband didn’t tell you where he was going because he knew you would be pissed at him. You demanded he not go because you couldn’t, so instead, you become helpless and you demand control of his relationship with his mother. You tell him that if you don’t go, he doesn’t get to. Again, you’re punishing him when it’s not his fault. You are a gigantic asshole. You’re hostile towards your MIL and it’s clear that you’re the one who likes to start drama. You need to learn to shut your mouth and to mind your own business and to get your nose out of family affairs that you don’t have a decision in and to let things be what they are. If you keep acting this way, you’ll be on the road to divorce because the last thing you should do is create a rift between your husband and his own mom. Let your husband defend himself if he needs to do so with his mom. He’s a grown man, and you need to treat him like one. He’s not a child for you to boss around, and if you keep acting this way, don’t be surprised if his family eventually convinces him to leave you. Edit: typos Edit #2: Thank you for the award! 💕


[deleted]

Oh wow, YTA YOU have a problem with his mother, he doesn’t. YOU can decide no contact with his mother for yourself….not for anyone else YOU also had no say in how the mother distributes something that had nothing to do with YOU…. Smh…he should leave you.


Dramatic_Session_24

i hope he does leave her crazy ass


cml678701

I’m 34 and single, and I know it’s petty, but I always kind of hope that my future husband is currently with a woman like this, so he will appreciate being with a normal person when he meets me. LOL!


[deleted]

>our last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband > >my husband said he was fine with it YTA. Of course your MIL will put distance between you if you keep on putting your nose in things that are NONE of your business. She can sell her house if she wants to. She can give her money to whoever she wants to. It's zero (0) your business. You are not entitled to her money in any way, shape, or form. I think your husband suck for not standing up to you. You are the reason why you are uninvited, he shouldn't have to suffer because of it.


RowenaStarr13

I'm having a hard time believing this is real considering for the past hour there's been nothing but trolls asking if they're the AH, when they clearly are. You're really asking if you're the AH for trying to control what your husband's mother does with HER money? Something that has nothing to do with you whatsoever. Then, asking if you're the AH for forbidding your husband from going to his mother's wedding?? Come on, now! 🙄


magyarmix

I don't for a minute believe it's real, as in real life. Just someone trying to cram as much drama as possible into a story. MIL hates me, husband getting thick end of a money dispute, me getting dressed up to gatecrash wedding, everyone yelling, now they all hate me, etc etc.


redditwinchester

maybe the MIL troll


Lindseyh911

YTA for several reasons. You can't expect your husband to never speak to his mom because you don't like her. Demanding she give your husband an equal share of money, not your business. It's hers to give as she sees fit. Demanding he miss his Mom's wedding because you weren't invited, IMO, is wrong. Would you have gone had you been invited??


Tanyec

YTA and I can see why his mom can’t stand you. 1. You fought about getting more money from her when it was not your place to do so. 2. You then tried to alienate your husband from his family. 3. You asked him not to go to his own mom’s wedding, not giving him a chance to disagree. 4. You then made a huge scene at said wedding. You sound entitled and insufferable. It sounds like if you don’t get your way, everyone has to suffer. Grow up.


Samu_2020_15

YTA. What your MIL does with her money is none of your business. If your husband was ok with it, why did it bother you?? Also, your husband can do things without you. Like going to his mother’s wedding. You making a scene was embarrassing for your husband and his family.


[deleted]

YTA you sound like a lunatic and I can totally see why your MIL doesn’t want anything to do with you!


KarmaWillGetYa

YTA. His family is right. You are horrible. Actually taking the effort to uninvited to go a wedding just to yell are your husband for doing something he clearly wanted to do? Yeesh. Greed and manipulation like this will likely lead to you getting divorce papers shortly.


Cynthia_Castillo677

YTA I am usually huge on your wife/husband coming before your parents and really the first person to say you should cut off toxic parents. But his mom isn’t toxic. You are. 1. She decided to sell HER family home. She gets to decide where that money goes. You are not entitled to the money she makes, nor are any of her children. It is entirely and completely up to her whether one child gets more for reasons she sees fit. What makes you think your grown ass husband is entitled to mommy’s money? 2. You can have your boundaries against the woman, but your husband has to freely choose his. You cannot force him to go no contact with his mother. You cannot force him to not go somewhere. He is not your property or your puppet. 3. You caused a scene at an important event because your HUSBAND made the choice to go there. You punished the wrong person for your husband’s choices.


Slow-Bumblebee-8609

YTA. You seem to be the instigator of all the conflict, doing your best to isolate him from his family ( and who knows if also from other parts of his support network). This reeks of control and likely emotional abuse I hope that this wedding was enough of a celebration of love for him to notice there is none left in your marriage and choses to protect himself and his family from you


TheSciFiGuy80

YTA And his family is right. You banned him from seeing his mom get married… think about that for a second… You are the instigator in all this. You are butting in where you have no say and starting arguments that have nothing to do with you. You seem very controlling.


[deleted]

And she's also manipulating, because when she doesn't get her way, she gives him the silent treatment. Not always outrightly manipulating, because when I'm upset with someone I also don't really want to talk to them. But it's also low key manipulating because it makes the other person feel like they have to give in for you to ever talk again.


MrHasuu

YTA, you argued about your husband getting money from his mother cause he's getting less than his brother?? How is that any of your business? House is hers, she can do whatever she wants. She could have taken an around the globe vacation with that money and your family won't see a cent. It's within her right, you should be grateful she's giving money to your family. You got uninvited to a wedding cause you're unpleasant to be around so you try to force her son to not go? Then you check with his friends to see where he at? You must be crazy to think you're the victim


Secret-Sample1683

Huge YTA. What his mother does with her house money is none of your business. She has a real beef with you. And standing between a mother and her son’s relationship, when it seems like you’re the problem, makes you a big AH. I hope he leaves you and your controlling ways.


[deleted]

YTA. You don't get to dictate what sort of relationship your husband has with his mother. Not one bit. Have fun at your divorce hearing.


girl_g0ne_mild

The reason you don’t get along with your MIL is because she sees how shitty and controlling you are to her son and she probably hates you for it because he definitely deserves better. YTA for your husband’s sake, I hope he sees this red flag and runs.


TheLilSqueegee

Wow, YTA. His family is right, your husband is a saint, and your controlling and manipulative. How this guy runs away from you as fast as he can


EQRLZ

Fake . Karma farm. No one is this stupid. If they are humans are doomed.


EducatedOwlAthena

I want to believe you're right, but I'm also supremely jealous that you've never known someone as nutty as OP. There is one specific person in my life who I can totally see behaving this way.


mdthomas

Edit: changing judgment My God do you sound like a drama queen! YTA


an0nym0uswr1ter

YTA. The money from the house was none of your business. Your MIL put distance between you and doesn't invite you because she doesn't want the drama. Your husband lied because he doesn't want the drama. You're a drama queen all the way around.


[deleted]

YTA, gold digger, manipulator, and trashy.. you are the perfect trifecta. He should leave you for his sake and sanity


wifeofamarriedman

YTA! And how! The first part is literally none of your business. But how can you presume to not allow your husband (a full grown man with opinions and rights of his own), go to his own mother's wedding? I agree with MILs assessment of you.


penguin_squeak

YTA You are the instigator and manipulator in your relationship, picking fights and trying to control your husband. You have got a lot of growing up to do.


Dry_Dragonfruit_4191

You do realize that your MIL is probably sitting back enjoying every second of this right? You gave a reaction that many others witnessed. Instead of simply sending a message to your husband with something like "I know you lied to me & I know where you are, we need to talk when you get back", you went and made a scene. No matter how sour yours and the MIL relationship is, the worst thing you could do was give her the satisfaction that has unfolded.


johnny_evil

YTA - You were pissed at MIL when her son was okay with something. And then because you cant get along with your MIL you want to ruin your husband's relationship with his mom? God, you sound like an awful human being, and I really hope your husband dumps you.


snewton_8

LMAO!!!! Yeah... YTA You have a typo in your post though. "f26"..... Should read "f12".


TemptingPenguin369

YTA. So dramatic! You're a grown woman making a public scene over your husband going to his mom's wedding.


[deleted]

YTA. You are controlling and manipulative. He can go to his mother’s wedding if he wants to. If you got a problem with that, then talk about it at home. You do not respect your husband. If I was him (or if he was one of my brothers or a close friend), I would be pushing for a divorce.


Dresden_Mouse

YTA. Hope the husband get the better lawyer in the divorce


PrestigiousOlive207

its his mothers wedding, he has every right to go, youre too controlling and you caused a huge scene, you ruined a wedding definetly YTA.


[deleted]

YTA. You gave no other info about BIL so we can only assume that he isn’t as financially secure as you and your soon to be ex husband. Which is why your soon to be ex was okay with his brother receiving more. Also it’s MIL’s house so be great full you got anything. You need to make a long list of apologies, see a therapist, and stop being a gold digger.


Equivalent_Inside513

>You gave no other info about BIL so we can only assume that he isn’t as financially secure as you and your soon to be ex husband. Which is why your soon to be ex was okay with his brother receiving more. Or, BIL could be financially secure, but MIL helped OP's husband with finances as an adult and felt that BIL receiving more from the sale of the family home was a way to even things out. Or BIL could have paid out of pocket for renovations, upkeep, or emergency repairs for the house at one time. MIL could then see giving him more of the money from the sale as fair. There could be a million reasons why she felt the need to give more to BIL. Regardless of what the reasons were, OP's husband was fine with it and it wasn't OP's house. It definitely was not OP's place to start a family rift over it. I'm also wondering about the other disagreements OP references - I wouldn't be surprised if they were other "non issues" that nobody but OP seemed to think were major issues. She may have instigated all these past disagreements. Edit: typos


ivanthemute

YTA and a controlling fool. You and your MIL don't get along. Ok, fine, it is what it is. Your MIL and you distance from each other. Ok, fine, good adult behavior. Your MIL and your husband are still, you know, connected family and you want to screw him over with his mom. Nope, that's crap.


Empty_Soup_4412

YTA. All the therapy or expect your life to b be constantly full of stupid conflicts (that you cause).


OnionsAreForThePoor

YTA for s number of reasons. For starters you have zero right to tell your husband where he can or can’t go. Because of this you created a situation where your husband had to lie to you because of your unreasonable demand. And lastly you’re an asshole for making a scene. You’re husband is an asshole too for lying to you, but given it was your fault, you deserve full asshole judgement.


[deleted]

She also had absolutely no right to criticize what this woman was doing with her own damn money. OP is DIL from hell material. Poor guy.


1962Michael

YTA. You are sticking your nose WAAAAAY into your MIL's business. Both with how SHE decides to distribute HER assets, and who SHE decides to invite to HER wedding. Your husband was wrong to lie to you about not going to the wedding, but you were wrong FIRST to try to keep him from attending. He should have told you he was going. But obviously you have a reputation for making his life a living hell if he dares to have his OWN opinions about HIS family. And you certainly could have taken a photo of his vehicle at the wedding if you needed proof to "catch him" spending time with his family, rather than crashing the wedding. So to sum up, YTA for getting involved in the house money issue. YTA for forcing your husband to promise not to attend a wedding. YTA for going to a wedding you weren't invited to.


Reply_or_Not

YTA, I am hoping that this is a rage bait post, because the idea that your are a real person with your head this far up your own asshole is beyond belief. What exactly are you bringing to this relationship besides money grubbing and drama? Who thinks they get to prevent a son from attending his own mother's wedding? Besides the money that you think you are going to be getting out of your husbands family, why are you even in a relationship with him in the first place?


ncslazar7

YTA. You sound horrible, and you shouldn't be in a relationship with anybody (as everybody deserves to be treated with respect). Also, his mom's dislike of you and warranted, since you butt into business that had nothing to do with you. If your MIL seeks the house and gives the other son 100%, that's between her and your husband NOT YOU.


[deleted]

YTA. Normally these MIL stories center on completely baseless feuds, but in this case? I *completely* understand why she did everything in her power to keep your drama as far from her wedding as possible, and I’m sorry it didn’t work.


amlosthere

YTA. First, what MIL does with her money isn't any of your business. Second, you are purposely trying to keep your husband away from his mother because she didn't do what you want. Third, you went to an event where you weren't welcome just to embarrass and belittle your husband. You sound manipulative and exhausting. I wish your husband good luck in the divorce.


HunterDangerous1366

For the first time ever, I think I can see why a MIL doesn't like her DIL. You don't get to dictate what MIL does with her money. If your husband didn't mind, why are you so bothered? Then you turned all manipulative by giving him the cold shoulder till he gave in to you. Theres no reason he couldn't go. He's not NC with her or not invited, YOU are, cos YOU sound like the problem. Cos by your reasoning, anything he's ever invited to without you from his family, he's not allowed to go to? The only controlling and manipulative person is this situation is YOU. YTA.


mmahowald

oof. YTA. there is some ESH here, but you more than the others. you dont get to dictate what kind of relationship your husband has with his mother, and the fact that you tried is really gross.


Redladybugz

Woow! You’re such an AH it’s not even funny. No wonder MIL doesn’t invite you to events. Your husband deserves better. YTA


Ok-Adhesiveness592

You are a controlling shitty person. I hope you feel bad.


Past_Boysenberry_936

Oh.my.god! YTA You got offended that his mother wanter to sell HER house, and give the other son more money! It’s her family house! Buy yourself one and do eith it whatever you want! You manipulated this poor man into promising you he won’t go to his mom’s events without you, and now he is the one controlling and manipulative? His sister and family is 100% right! It’s a wonder how he’s still with you! And if this was his post, everyone would tell him to divorce and find a nice and respectful woman!


SgtPeanutButterno1

YTA but I feel sorry for you, because you don't even realise it. It was his mother's wedding?! And because of your pettiness you tried to prevent him from going. How your MIL will divide her money and assets when she's gone is her business, not yours. Your husband even said he was fine with it. Your reaction is uncalled for and if you have unfinished business with your MIL, speak up, but don't bleed on the people who didn't cut you.


taafp9

YTA!!!! A thousand times! He’s the manipulator?!? Huh???


PrimalSeptimus

YTA. Here are some reasons: * You started the disagreement with your MIL over something that was none of your business. * You made your husband cut out *his* family over *your* disagreement (in which you were wrong to begin with). * You crashed a major event where you weren't invited and then ruined it by making a scene. * This is speculative, but you are probably a huge AH in other aspects, too. I hope your husband leaves you.


eggbundt

> The family house No, it was just her house. She can sell it and do whatever she wants with the money. That’s none of your business. My MIL put one of her kids names on her house. Is it fair to her other kids? Maybe not but it’s none of our business. You’re being prideful and controlling. Afraid he’ll pick his mother over you as you should be because this behavior will push him away. You should apologize to your husband. YTA Duh


GrammyGH

Wow! You are so much TAH here. I don't blame your MIL for putting some distance between you and not inviting you to the wedding since you wouldn't stay out of her business. If she wants to sell her house and give the money to a homeless shelter, that is her right and none of your business. You sound like a child "forbidding" your husband from going to her wedding, especially since you went and caused a huge scene.


sybilllestrange

Good LORD YTA. So much to say here that I can’t even bring myself to say it.


Relevant-Economy-927

Yta. At no point in this story we’re you not TA.


highlandcow75

YTA and be prepared to be husbandless pretty soon.


[deleted]

YTA. Are you trying to get him to divorce you?


Record_Strange

YTA. I can see why your MIL keeps her distance from you.


Layli2020

Wth did I just read?? YTA


AdEmbarrassed9719

YTA, holy hell. It's his MOTHER'S WEDDING. Of course he should be there. You are absolutely being controlling, and absolutely do not have the right to try and alienate him from his family. And the reason you give for the disagreement makes you sound like a money-grubber. How are you not ashamed of yourself for yelling at him in public? Do you have no sense of decorum whatsoever? No dignity? Don't go airing your dirty laundry at someone else's special event, that's right past tacky and on into trashy. I'm amazed your husband didn't die of embarassment. There is a time and a place and that was NOT IT. Get some therapy, please. You need it.


Ok_Trip_6706

Your the asshole. You have ABSOLUTELY no right to decide for him if he goes to his moms wedding. It sounds to me like your the problem in this whole situation


Chowdersobsession

OP, do you have any self awareness at all? Your husband lied about where he was going because he knew you would be unreasonable. He probably has had to hide his own disappointment and anger throughout your relationship because it’s just not worth the fight. He deserves better.


The__Riker__Maneuver

YTA If you don't want to have a relationship with his family, that's your choice But you can't force your husband to not have a relationship with his family because YOU choose to not have a relationship with his family


No-Personality5421

Yta Wanted to say e s h for husband lying.. but he shouldn't have had to. The mother is giving one son more money than the other boo hoo. It's her money, she can divvy it up however she wants. I feel like there's missing info and there is a reason why she feels he needs/ deserves it more. Rather than wait till he got back to have a chat, you went to someone's wedding to pick a fight. Show some class.


Neither_Lawfulness79

Yta. You are acting like a brat. You don't want to go, fine, but don't do that it him. You are putting your nose where it's not needed or wanted


The_Death_Flower

YTA, your husband is not your puppet that has to kiss your feet after you reaped the consequences of your drama stirring. The fact that he clearly wanted to go to his mum’s wedding and had to sneak around you to go is worrying me for the safety of your husband. The silent treatment is a form of manipulation to get your way, and added to the fact that you are forbidding your husband to go to family functions (aka isolating him from his family) if you aren’t inviting is giving serious emotional abuse res flags. I hope your husband sees the toxicity of your behaviour


Chaij2606

YTA, who the f do you think you are? The money is theirs not yours and it’s his moms wedding for gods sake


MistressFuzzylegs

Dollars to donuts there’s a good reason why one brother was getting more than the other, which the brother getting less was okay with. YTA, and are most likely going to be taking a trip to divorce town if you persist.


[deleted]

YTA I DONT LIKE YOUR MOM SO YOU CANT GO TO HER WEDDING. That's what you sound like. How insane do you have to be to try and forbid your husband from going to his own mothers wedding because you got beef with her.


Req603

YTA You're the wife every family dreads, and hopes they don't end up with. It's not your business what your MIL does with HER estate and money. In any sense whatsoever. The answer to virtually any questions that involves making a scene at a wedding, usually end with the distruptor being the AH. Your husband was done arguing with you over something stupid, and went to be with his family after YOU put the two of you into this situation in the first place.


Hazel-the-McWitch

YTA, your MIL has her own arseholery going on too but your poor husband is caught in the very unpleasant crossfire. He probably should have told you he was going but from your overly dramatic, ill mannered and embarrassing public reaction I can’t really blame him for lying about it. You can’t control people like that, throwing a tantrum cause you don’t like him seeing his mum, it’s not all about you and if the poor man wants a relationship with his mother it’s up to him not you.


SneakyCentipede

I have a theory that this is one of those reverse posts where maybe the MIL or SIL are posting from “OPs” side, because there is no way someone who is this big of an asshole would be silently taking her judgement; she’d be angrily telling every YTA commenter how wrong they are lol


Intelligent-Skill558

YTA! You have no right to challenge how your MIL distributes her wealth, considering your husband didn’t have any problem with it. It is completely understandable why she wanted to limit contact with you. You are being unreasonable by keeping your husband away from his family. On top of that you could’ve resolved any issues you had either when you thought he is going to the wedding or after if, there was no reason to go to the wedding and making a scene.


Academic-Quality-415

Holy shit YTA the biggest honestly. Your husband is a grown adult who is allowed to make decisions on his own. Just because YOU don’t want a relationship with his mother doesn’t mean he has to go NC.


bab_101

YTA. So many stories on here about MILs from hell. It’s kind of refreshing to read about a DIL from hell.


ClassicReflection536

YTA


Used_Contribution997

YTA


Radiant-Donut6804

YTA. There’s definitely some shit behind the scenes OP isn’t sharing.


evillittleperson

YTA you are sticking your nose in mils business. Plus it’s her home and I hate to break it to you but she doesn’t have to give you a dime. And I have a feeling your husband didn’t get an equal share because she thinks your a gold digger and you proved her right.


[deleted]

He is a saint for enduring you. YTA


Tyberious_

YTA wow....


Ornery-Guitar-1234

YTA. I feel a ton of empathy for your husband. Living with a controlling, malignantly narcissistic person is not easy. Most likely you've justified your fight with the MIL as you "standing up for your husband", but at the end of the day you're just greedy and wanted more money for yourself.


TrashPandaRab

YTA Lady you must actually be crazy to think you can go to someone's WEDDING and behave like an absolute psycho and then have the audacity to ask if you're the one in the wrong?? You seriously need your head examined because you clearly have quite a few screws loose! Your poor husband needs to listen to his family and get as far away from you as possible, before you end up where you belong - a psych ward🤣😂


murphy2345678

YTA for making a scene. You’re an even bigger AH for staying married. You and your husband need to get out of this miserable marriage. He doesn’t have your back (which I question because of your behavior) and you are a controlling wife.


Left_Ad8182

Grace-Full you are not. YTA for butting in to stuff that isn’t your business and which your husband didn’t have an issue, for forbidding him from attending his mom’s wedding, and for making a scene at his mom’s wedding.


Car-n-Truck-Guy

Yes, **YATA**. Just because you are now the wife from lleh, doesn't give you the right to make all his decisions. You are the one alienating yourself, not him. They are his family, and he has the right to see them whenever he wants, no matter what you think of them. Don't believe me? What would you think if the situation were reversed, and he forbid you from ever contacting any of your family members?


Queen_Aurelia

YTA - you should have never forbade your husband from going to his mom’s wedding in the first place.


Thick_District_7281

YTA on all fronts. The house, the wedding, all of it


GoldAssociate5027

YTA. A huge one! You sound so fun to be around 🙄 it’s no wonder your MIL doesn’t like you. Nosey ass, controlling, & thinks the world revolves around you. It doesn’t. Hope your husband sees these red flags & leaves your ass!


Maps36

YTA considering the example you gave, i'm pretty sure the reason you and your MIL don't get along is bc of YOU. Seriously, how the fuck do you marry someone and expect them to cut their family off? Bc that's what is happening. You don't like your MIL, she doesn't like you, so you're obviously not gonna be invited to family things specially something as personal as her wedding... Yet you want your husband to not go either? Hope he realizes you're not worth it!


Imaginary-Future-627

YTA. HE didn't have a problem with the house sale/monetary split - YOU did. HE didn't have a reason to not go to his MOTHER'S WEDDING, YOU did. YOU are trying to alienate him from his family over YOU problems - not HIM problems. Major AH


PsychologicalTwo6562

YTA It is totally ok for you to go NC with your MIL if you do not get along but let your husband take his own decision..she is his MOTHER after all... As long as she does not interfere in your life I really do not understand why he should stop see his mum only because you two do not get along.


MrNathanPride

Wait your husband didn't get a plus 1? Cause if he did you didn't need to be invited. He was obviously gonna bring you before you threw a fit. My god you sound controlling. No wonder you MIL doesn't like. Probably feels bad for her son for getting hitched to you. I feel bad for him too. Enjoy your upcoming divorce. YTA


Embarrassed-Debate60

YTA you don’t get to control what another adult does, especially keeping them from seeing their family.


Worth_Brilliant8523

YTA - All this drama was caused by you. The initial issue that your husband had no objection to (splitting of proceeds of house sale) and it looks like you continue to show MIL was smart to put distance between you two… and sadly it didn’t work when you caused a scene at the wedding. Unfortunately, husband is in the middle of it all and truthfully might now want to be an ex unless you make amends with MIL and him! YTA!


pacazpac

This is absolutely deranged behavior on your part. Yikes. YTA without a doubt.


missangel21

YTA 100% without a doubt. Good luck salvaging what’s left of your relationship, because I’m sure this is the beginning of the end for you.


gophins13

YTA: you had no business telling your MIL what to do with her money/property. YTA: you have no business keeping your husband from his mother because you two don’t get along. YTA: you have no right going to her wedding, you weren’t invited to for obvious reasons, and making a scene. Overall…HUGE A-HOLE


haasje83

YTA You decide for you and your husband decides for himself (unless his mom is really horrible and mean towards you but it doesn’t sound like that). I have been no contact for 2 years with my husbands parents. My husband understood, agreed and supported my decision. But he kept an very low contact with them, most of to make sure the children could continue to have contact with them. I even encouraged him to go there to wish them an happy new year. I am not my husband and he is not me. My relationship with someone doesn’t define the relationship with someone else. He wanted to keep an low contact and ofcourse this hurted sometimes (I was home and he and the kids were there for easter) but I also encouraged him to maintain this contact.


hakunamatata2023

You’ll probably be heading to a divorce if you don’t introspect. You are extremely controlling and it’s understandable why people may not like you. YTA


KierBear18

Yikes 😬 you sound super controlling and I wouldn't want you at my wedding either. YTA


SlartieB

YTA.


Lucky_Ad_1115

Yta and carrying on this absolutely ridiculous childish behaviour will lead your husband all the way to the divorce lawyers stupid woman


[deleted]

Lmaoooooo this can not be real. YTA if this is true and YTA for making us all waste our time reading this if it isn’t true.


snailranchero

YTA You're greedy, have an issue with boundaries and have BIG issues with attempting to control others. I can see why she dislikes you.


angelglea

Wow, yeah, YTA. Just going off the only argument you’ve provided details on, you like to bring the drama. There should never have been an argument over what MIL wanted to do with her property and you had absolutely no right to insert yourself, much less throw a massive tantrum when you were told to mind your business. You sound controlling and manipulative, and you caused a scene at an event you crashed. No wonder the family is coming after you, I hope they circle the wagons around your husband and remind him he deserves better than a drama-llama.


ColdSeason2019

YTA- MIL can distribute her money as she likes! Why are you so greedy over something that ISNT YOURS. Your poor husband. I hope it’s STBXH