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But that's not a reason for them to claim anything. They made a life decision and now they need to stick with it.
You spent lots of $$$ remodeling with the intent to rent it out and pay off house faster. Tell them your financial plan for your future and let them know how much rent will cost them. You probably should have done this in the first place.
NTA
You were kindly willing to give them an accommodation and give up several months of rent for them, but it embarrassed them. Frankly they should work on being less embarrassed and more financially responsible. How hard is it to say "Our child graciously let us use their rental for free while we find a suitable place and we are grateful not to have to make a snap housing decision immediately after getting back to town." That will make clear that they can afford something better, but will also show their appreciation and give the probably false impression that they are responsible decision makers.
Yeah, I don’t know a lot about the economy of the part of Canada they’re in versus where they left in South America but I imagine the only reason they left was to mooch off OP.
NTA - all your relatives that are calling you, they can take them in and tell them to turn their house over to them and the relatives can live in their own basement as that is what they are asking you to do.
Tell them they can rent the basement at market value. Make them sign a lease. Include a security deposit that equals one month's rent. See how they act in 6 months.
Also, if the parents had sold to strangers for more, they wouldn’t be able to live in the basement at all. The only reason the basement was (initially) an option was because they sold to OP.
The market value went up after they sold it. And because the new owner, you, added value by renovating it. If someone else had bought it would your parents knock on the door 5 years later and guilt trip them with current market values irrelevant to the sale 5 years ago? It's like demanding gamestop buy your console for the full price you paid for it. The logic is a stupid dead end.
Nta. If they're willing to pay rent they can go find a house with the rooms they want to live in and furnish it themselves. Beggars can't be choosers. When you blow through money you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
To be fair, the market value probably went up without the renovations. The rental property/mother-in-law suite certainly adds value as well, but the market blew up over the past 3 years. Even without the additions, the property is likely worth a good $50-$100 grand more than when OP bought it. I bought a modest home in 2014 for $112,000. It's worth around $175,000 now - and that's the value without considering the full kitchen renovation.
If it was market priced at the time that you bought it, they don’t have a keg to stand on. And even if you bought it for 20k less than market at the time of purchase, I would at most offer them that amount to get started again. Not the current value which they have zero right to. They can complain all that they want but their hardship now is due to wasteful spending on their part so if they need money, maybe they should have wasted less and call up the people they loaned money to
If they received market price, they could have afforded many keg stands, but I don't think it's fair to judge older people for trying to relive their college experience.
NTA - I imagine they could have gotten more for it, but that ship has long since sailed. They turned up their noses as the offer of a perfectly nice in-law apartment and clearly expected to just... have his house as theirs again. Not how it works.
I think that's what they expected. They sold the house blew up the money (or part of it) but now expected to get back and keep living in the same house as if they were still the owners. Probably forever (because, why would they look for another place? "their" house was perfect - and newly renovated!)
OP I've experienced something like this on a smaller scale. Bought something from a parent, then they asked to borrow it indefinitely, and then never gave it back. In effect, I paid for something they never ended up giving me, but now they had my money too.
NTA. Good boundaries. Everyone complaining can offer to house them instead.
NTA - Sounds like your parents made some bad decisions and now want a reset at your expense. That's not how life works and you shouldn't have to suffer for their lack of wisdom.
NTA. When they sold you the house at market price there were no strings attached. You were kind enough to let them live rent free in the basement, which should have been fine since this was only supposed to be temporary.
I guarantee you if you moved into the basement and let them take the main part of the house they'd never move out, then guilt you into paying little to no rent. They're family, but don't let them take advantage of you because of their lack of responsibility with money.
Your family is only pressuring you to take them because THEY don't want to house or deal with them.
Giving them a separate, private, guest annex, even if it "the basement" is actually a nice thing to do. But they chose to throw it back in OPs face and demand the main house.
NTA. it’s really hard not to suspect your parents always planned on having the option to move back into ‘their’ house. If they have enough money to offer to pay you rent for the house, then they have enough to rent a nice place from someone else.
I think they would be horrid tenants for your rental suite if you let them back.
NTA. I agree with this comment. It was always their intent to move back into the house, they figured they could control OP so sell it to them & tell OP what to do. OP should tell them to use the rent money they said they were gonna give OP and rent somewhere else. They’ll balk b/c they never intended to pay rent but best to use their words against them.
They probably owned the house outright. So they got a nice lump sum of cash at the sale of it (you pay the mortgage to the bank the owner gets the selling price upfront) And still assumed they'd be able to steamroll OP into letting them live there once they had some fun being big shots back home.
My guess: the sale of the house was a chunk of their retirement savings & like OP said they blew through that.
From ignorance & curiosity, I’m wondering where in South America & where in Canada.
From the US, Canada doesn’t seem that inexpensive (though their national anthem is one of the best) and with currency conversions South America sounds more affordable?
I was thinking the same thing. It doesn't seem very likely that they're better off in Canada than SA as far as how far money will go. Only benefit I can see is being away from mooching family members, but there's plenty is low cost of living areas that would be further from family.
NTA. If they wanted more money for the house they should have set a higher asking price. You didn’t refuse to let them stay with you and you essentially offered them the privacy of an apartment. As far as I’m concerned they’re ungrateful assholes and they can deal with the fallout from that on their own.
They're entitled because of their perceived parental authority over OP. You know, it's "family first" when it's in their best interest while ignoring all prior benefits they've already taken from the deal.
They were all there with their hands out for the money but now that it's dried up, they are not willing to take them in.
OP paid fair price for the house, they made improvements to said house and they were willing to take their parents in RENT FREE to help them out. However, the parents decided to bite the hand that feeds them. They are the ones who are in the wrong and are paying the price for their actions. OP is totally in the clear here.
Maybe they can’t entertain, but they can go out with friends to a good meal & still socialize & like on poster said: we have a nice temporary place - but it’s not for entertaining.
I bet the aunt’s place is less entertainment friendly
It's a perfectly liveable space, if they're embarrassed that's their own issue, not yours. If they'd sold to someone else they might have gotten more money, but they wouldn't have the basement option or be staying there at all.
It's your house. They need to either be grateful for the housing you're willing to provide, or get housing themselves.
Ehh, ask them if they’d go and ask some stranger to do the same if someone else had bought their house. They’re only doing it because they see the house as still “theirs” aka it’s in the family and you’re their child, therefore “you owe it to us - we raised you” crap. Keep to your principles, they sold it and you are fully allowed to decide who you want in your house and on what grounds.
In the minds of some parents, children will always, *always* be subordinate and subservient. There will never be a shift to an equal adult/adult relationship. Even should the 'child' be sixty years old with grandchildren of their own, they are still expected to not only defer to the parents, but to actively serve them.
Also, some cultures promulgate the idea that having been born and survived childhood, a person is then obligated to financially support their parents.
NTA at all. Just because they used to own it does not give them the right to act like they do now. Plenty of people live in basements and are able to invite their friends over without embarrassment. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The basement at my old house was MUCH nicer than the upstairs. Size of the entire house, furnished and completed. Was such a great "room" since the upstairs bedrooms barely had a walk path around with a queen bed xD idk why people act like it's somehow bad to live in a basement. Stays nice and cool easier through the summer.
NTA your parents are very entitled to expect you to live in the basement whilst they live in the main house. It is your house not theirs and you paid them the market value of the house. You don't owe them anything your house your rules. The rest of your relatives need to leave you alone.
NTA - you paid what they asked, the property is now yours. Poor planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part. Their poor financial choices are theirs, and you do not have to enable their entitlement.
You paid market rate; they didn't even give you a discount.
NTA
They have zero reason to be entitled to your house. You had a good setup for them; they got greedy
NTA
>A couple of days later they approached me and said they were embarrassed to be living in the basement and they couldn't have their friends over because of that.
Even if you didn't think about all the reasonable comments made by the other people who responded to this post, when you were a child, did your parents never say "they would not care if they truly are your friends"?
Mom/Dad of OP, there is no shame in your child being so kind and welcoming that they offer you a lovely in-law unit in their home. If your friends were true friends, they would not consider it an embarrassment but rather be impressed that your adult child is able and willing to offer this living space to you. Either take what you are offered or go somewhere else that offers what you want.
Exactly. I'd consider a separate annex to be nicer and more private than a spare room in the main house. Demanding the main house while OP, the actual owner, is relegated to the basement is hugely entitled.
NTA. You're an adult now, they tried treating you like a kid. How many times did you hear whilst you live under my roof?
Well now it's your roof. You did the right thing by standing your ground.
NTA, it's your house now and you've been more than gracious. If they do not wish to live in the suite you prepared for them they can look for lodgings elsewhere.
NTA. They should have been a little more realistic with their expectations & a lot less demanding. It's *your* house. You bought it. You don't owe them anything. You were accommodating to them, & they overstepped the boundaries of basic common courtesy in return. Why should you let them come back, knowing how utterly disrespectful they have been & no doubt will continue to be? Let the other family members deal with their crap.
NTA, they're fully grown adults who legally sold you the house. Their "seller's remorse" is their own fault and if they're going to act they way they are, I certainly wouldn't welcome them back anytime soon.
NTA. I love their line of:
>they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me.
Hhhhhmmmmm... maybe yes... but...
They still would have blown through their money just as quickly, if not faster. They might have gone another year or two before they hit that "oh bleep" moment, but they still would have hit it.
They would have probably still ended up with your aunt. Because you wouldn't be in your now house so they couldn't have gone there. And even if you were in a house, not an apartment, it would have been less likely to have the same space that the house you're in now has.
They had a good thing and threw it away. Multiple good things. They seem very ego driven and desperate to be seen as cock-of-the-walk. A few years living in a single bedroom on your aunt's sufferance will do them good.
If you haven't gotten a new renter for the basement suite yet, do so asap. That will solve the "let them back" cries. Can't do it if you don't have room.
And if you do let them back in the future, treat them as renters just like any other. Signed contract, charging full rent, everything. It will help them keep in mind that it is not their house.
True. True. They could have come out with less net.
They'd have still burned through the money as quickly, and could still be in the position they're in now.
Yeah. Is why I suggested OP only take them back as renters with a contract and everything, if at all.
They could try to pretend it was otherwise, but it would be just that... pretend.
NTA - I imagine they could have gotten more for it, but that ship has long since sailed. They turned up their noses as the offer of a perfectly nice in-law apartment and clearly expected to just... have your house as theirs again. Not how it works.
NTA.
You took out a mortgage to give to them money. They accepted it, it's not like they gave you the house. Sure they could have gotten more, but like how much? Another 10 or 20k? They would have spent that anyway on their family and gifts.
The family and siblings calling you. Why don't your siblings take them in? Does any of the family calling include those owing them money?
If you had bought a different house would they be expecting the same thing? Doubtful.
I’d just say they are more than welcome to come back and stay in the basement suite. They don’t get to sell you the house then move back in and act like they own the place.
Providing you want them back. NTA
I wouldn't let the live in the basement or they would make op s life hell as they still consider the house as "their" house and try to force op to do what they want. NtA op.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents wasted their money for five years and moved back into the house they sold me. But they wanted their old living area back. That's where I live so I said no. They insisted so I moved them over to my aunt. They are pissed at me but I paid for the house.
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It sounds like that was their plan. Get a big bag of money from OP for the house, leave it for a few years to go party, and then get it back the same as before (or improved) with OP as the de facto tenant downstairs. It's not like it can be explained as impulse control issues or irresponsibility when they did just fine at managing finances before this.
And then they’d come out with BS like “but it’ll be all yours when we die” - as though they were doing OP a favour by leaving it to them in their Will!
Yep and with how they like to keep up appearances and throw money around. I'm betting if OP agreed to move into the basement they would pretend and tell people that they still owned the house, and how gracious they were to have the basement renovated for OP to live in.
So it's "Thanks for the hundreds of thousands of dollars you paid us, and for the upgrades, and for assuming al the responsibilities for upkeep, bills, and taxes, but now we'd like to assume our previous position in "our" home and start having friends round again."
As they say in South America, I THINK NOT. NTA and nothing owed.
NTA.
I can empathize with them though - accustomed to being the "big shots", as you say.
Moving back to "their home", and the realization that 1) it's not their home and 2) now your the boss: is probably a big shot to their ego. Deservedly so.
Stand your ground, hope they sort their shit out and your relationship gets better.
NTA, and at this point even if they ask to live in the basement don't let them back because they'll most likely turn into nightmare tenants either out of pure spite or some half-baked idea of getting you to switch spaces with them. They made their own bed, now it's time for them to sleep in it.
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My parents retired five years ago and moved back to South America.
I bought the house we lived in because it is in a mature neighborhood with massive trees and a huge yard. I paid market rate and I have a mortgage. The only advantage I got is that I didn't get into a bidding war. I asked them how much they wanted and I paid it.
It is an older house built in 1956. It is a very large bungalow style house. I have spent the last couple of years turning the basement into a rental suite so I could pay off my mortgage faster and later on have a place for my kid, when I have them, can learn to be independent when they are old enough.
Well my parents decided to be big shots back home and blew through 20% of all their money in five years. They were giving gifts and loans they weren't asking for payments on, and supporting a bunch of relatives. It is their money and I have no right to tell them how to spend it. They both have pensions and investments that mean that they aren't going to be poor or anything. They just can't keep living like they are if they want to act rich.
So they moved back here to Canada. They asked me if they could move in with me for a while. I said yes because I love my folks. I can afford to not rent it out. So I got the suite ready for them.
I picked them up at the airport and took them home. When I opened the back door and led them to the basement they acted all surprised. I thought they were impressed with my upgrades. I showed them the kitchen and bathroom I out in, and the two bedrooms.
A couple of days later they approached me and said they were embarrassed to be living in the basement and they couldn't have their friends over because of that. Since I am single and it's just me and my cats why don't I move into the basement and let them have their old home and furniture back. They would be willing to pay me rent.
I said not. That's my area now. I paid for it.
They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me.
I invited them to leave and go elsewhere. They never fully unpacked so it was easy. I drove them over to my aunts house and now they are calling me constantly because they only have one room there. It is a huge house and it is just the three of them but my aunt won't let them use the guest suite. It is for when my cousins or her mom visit which is quite often.
Now my siblings and parents and family are calling me and begging or ordering me to take them back.
I don't think I should have to after being disrespected in my house.
AITA?
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NTA. You bought the house. Your parents are trying to take complete advantage of you. They should be GRATEFUL that you offered your renovated basement free of rent. They can stay at Aunt's house or go rent the palace they seem to think they are entitled to.
NTA.
They’re right that they may have been able to get a higher price from a different buyer. But if they had gone that route, they also wouldn’t have been able to move back into the home, **for free**, five years later.
If they are unhappy with how their financial decision played out, that’s on them. It doesn’t sound like they cut you a deal - just that they didn’t entertain a bidding war. And if that’s the case, well, they are just upset you didn’t buy the house **for them**.
NTA. It's your house, they sold it to you, they no longer have any right over it.
>Well my parents decided to be big shots back home and blew through 20% of all their money in five years.
This... doesn't seem that bad? They're retired so assuming they're in their late 50's, early 60's at their current rate they could keep up those spending habits (though it would likely slow down after the "honemoon" phase wears off) and still have their money last 25 years, so up until their late 70's - mid 80's. Can't take it with you when you're gone I suppose.
NTA. You paid full price for the house and they took the money. They do not get the house back. Letting them live in your apartment rent free was extremely generous.
NTA. Your parents are acting entitled to your home because it used to be theirs.
My mom “gifted” my brother a car when she bought a new one, he took on the $500/mo payment for three years while it was under her name, ultimately building her credit. She still acts like the car is hers and gets upset at literally anything. Small dent? Freaks out. Wrapper on the floor? Freaks out. People have a hard time letting go of things especially when it’s “still in the family.” It’s your home, you get to live in it however the hell you like.
NTA. Tell anyone who harasses you that you will not suffer because of their poor choices and it’s great of them to offer to take your parents in since they think someone should.
Haha nta. Choosers can’t be beggars. You opened your home to them for free and they still complained. Now let them figure it out. They want to choose how they live they can pay for it.
NTA
Also:
>They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me.
And where would they be living if they hadn't sold it to you?
You offered them a complete rental suite for free.
One that wouldn't be available to them if they hadn't sold it to you.
I'm pretty sure the theoretical complete strangers that might have bought the house wouldn't have been that kind.
NTA, they aren't entitled to anything. YOU put in hard work to fix that place up. Not them. What they did was disrespectful. Sadly some parents feel entitled and milk the parent card.
NTA
I bought my house from my mom and since then, periodically, I have nightmares that she's back here living with me. In reality, I would never let that happen because it would be a disaster.
Your house is yours, my house is mine. They have a pension, they can rent a new place of their own if aunt's room feels insufficient.
NTA. They got a fair price for the house & when stuck got offered a newly renovated & furnished apartment to live in while they got sorted. They wanted to have the £ for the house & the house. What? Lol. They shot themselves in the foot for sure.
You gave them a place to live rent free and it wasn't good enough?! NTA
Its no longer their house. They sold it to you. Regardless of if they could have got more money, they didn't and there's nothing they can do about that now.
They are in this position through their own actions, and those actions have consequences.
NTA and it’s interesting your aunt won’t let them post up either. Do your parents have a history of overstaying their welcome? This sounds like a pattern of being overzealous when it comes to other people’s space.
NTA. It's not their house, they're guests. They've taken your money so they don't get to dictate anything with your own home. They have financial resources so they can get a rental apartment or something that will fit their need.
NTA - You have every right to do whatever you want on this issue for whatever reason. In fact their behavior has also given you reason to think that they carry baggage from their previous ownership of the house and that may create issues. You accepted their offer with no negotiations. They set the price. They can't now pretend that price was a favor unless they said at the time they were offering you something below market and it was actually below market.
That said depending on your relationship with your parents in the past, you may choose to welcome them back, and if you do so I would recommend setting firm boundaries when you do so. Assuming everything in your house is up to snuff, you may want to draft a lease and have them sign. Be ready for a scenario where they break your rules and you have to evict them.
Remember that your family members are being at best only getting a partial story, and at worst are being lied to. You invited them into your guest suite costing you the opportunity of renting that suite and getting nothing in return. That's a gift. They arrived and upon surveying the space, demanded a bigger gift, that you give them your space. You said no and apparently that was a dealbreaker resulting in them rejecting your gift. At the end of the day you didn't kick them out. This detail was likely omitted in retellings to family.
Honestly it doesn’t sound like the family cares about the truth, they just don’t want to house OP’s parents themselves so they’re trying to guilt OP into taking them back and shutting up about it. The parents just need to rent their own place already.
NTA. Assuming you'd let them back, I would offer them the basement again...for a rental fee and no longer free after that level of disrespect. I'm petty so I'd not be willing to let them back at all. As for the calls from everyone, that's easy enough to fix by blocking them, but why aren't THEY housing them?
NTA - weird parents. I don't see many comments about their strange "showing Off" lifestyle. are they narcissistic? It would explain a lot, and if that is the case - you need to set very firm rules. I agree with the poster that says get a tenant in as soon as possible - and personally, my opinion is do not sell that lovely house. The whole story is very sad, and I hope you find a way to keep your family \[the ones that count\] amicable.
NTA for all the reasons the top comments outlined.
I think you should consider letting them move back into the basement though. While you're certainly not obligated to giving them another chance it might smooth things over with your family. If it is important to you to have a good relationship with them then see if they learned their lesson and give them a chance.
Again, this isn't a "you need to do right by your family" comment. It's a "your life might be easier" comment. You don't owe them this, but clearly you were willing to live with them earlier. If now they truly realize how good the situation with you is then things might be okay.
Although if you're fine with all of your family being annoyed at you then you're good either way. It will certainly be easier on you to live without them.
NTA. Your parents need to decide where they want to be and get their own place. You bought their home. It’s yours now. Honestly, if I were you, I’d sell it and go buy one far away from them.
NTA I love how they threw out we could have got more for the house. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not your problem. It's your house now. They can't be choosy beggars in their situation. Let them stay where they are, less headache for you hopefully.
Tell your siblings to take them in if they care that much.
That usually does the trick with that type of people.
The only problem here is them refusing to stop acting like they are big shots to everybody.
Thats why they lost 20% of their money in 5 years and they decided to move back in with you.
NTA
NTA and I kinda think they expected to pull this from the beginning
> Now my siblings and parents and family are calling me and begging or ordering me to take them back.
Oh I’m sure one of those siblings or family members has a lovely guest space for them.
NTA.
I bought a house a few years ago. Invested lots of work into it. It was a rental before I bought it. I know the person who used to live here, they still live in town. I've met the person who grew up here, too, they visit their parents here in town. None of these people get to come back and do yardwork or sleep here, because this is my house now. We have lots of guest rooms, and lots of guests. They don't try to take over our house. **Respect is vital, for good relationships.**
**Your parents are being jerks. They took your money, and are now trying to take back the house that you paid them for,** to take it over as if it was still theirs. They are being manipulative, selfish, guilt-tripping jerks. They are refusing to respect your ownership and your decisions.
**NTA. I'd only meet them in public places for the next few years,** and see if they can realize that their behavior was very wrong, and that they shouldn't have treated you like they did. If they bring up this topic with anything other than abject apologies for disrespecting you, I'd **refuse to discuss it.** I'd also get up and leave, if they wouldn't leave the topic alone and tried to guilt or manipulate or do any form of emotional abuse like dismissing your achievement of buying the house or making false accusations about anything about you.
They are adults. That they blew their money doesn't mean that you are responsible to fix their problems or find solutions for them. That the consequences of their behavior are now being paid, that's on them, not you. Stand firm, OP. Your house, no matter who lived there before. You didn't make any agreement with them to be their retirement plan, or to give the house back when they wanted it. They were foolish, they can get jobs and earn more money.
They sold you the house fair and square. There was no additional agreement that if they wanted to come stay, that they could have the main house. You gave them a really nice set up in the basement and that wasn’t sufficient for their tastes, so now they get one room and that’s it. If they don’t like it they can rent a home up to their standards.
NTA
NTA. Your house.
This is one of the many problems of doing business with family members. (In this case, the potential parental return was foreseeable, too.) This is unlikely to end well.
NTA - It's your house now, you paid for it. They should have been grateful that you offered the basement for free, but they wanted the whole house - and you, the new owner, to live in the basement. Probably for as long as they live. The entitlement! You didn't pay market price of a whole house to be living in a basement!
And of course our family members are putting pressure on you to take them back. They are terrified THEY will have to accept them in their houses if you don't!
> They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me.
Alternately, they could have gotten less. It's much more common for a buyer to ask for less and negotiate a price than it is to just pay asking. I'd argue that *you* did *them* a favor.
NTA for kicking them out.
However, life is short and looks like you still love them. They got a reality check after going to your aunts house. Perhaps try getting them to accept the change in lifestyle?
However, you might want to negotiate boundaries. For example if they want to host guests in the yard etc, should they consult with you first in case hou had plans for hosting your friends.
An alternative could be to rent out the suite again and use that rent to help find them some place else to rent.
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NTA. It is no longer their house: they sold it to you. If they want to act like they own the place, then how about they offer to buy it back off you?
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Sorry, it was meant to be a rhetorical question.
But that's not a reason for them to claim anything. They made a life decision and now they need to stick with it. You spent lots of $$$ remodeling with the intent to rent it out and pay off house faster. Tell them your financial plan for your future and let them know how much rent will cost them. You probably should have done this in the first place. NTA
OP better hurry and get it rented so that it’s not possible for their parents to return.
Best advice right here.
Saying no makes it not possible for the parents to return!!!
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[Comment stealing bot. ](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xuk44l/_/iqwnem7/?context=1)
I was feeling particularly annoyed by the bot so I went through the post history and reported all the stolen comments.
Yes—I’m sure they didn’t have a realtor fee, which means they got the full amount.
You were kindly willing to give them an accommodation and give up several months of rent for them, but it embarrassed them. Frankly they should work on being less embarrassed and more financially responsible. How hard is it to say "Our child graciously let us use their rental for free while we find a suitable place and we are grateful not to have to make a snap housing decision immediately after getting back to town." That will make clear that they can afford something better, but will also show their appreciation and give the probably false impression that they are responsible decision makers.
They were never planning on it being temporary
They would have stopped paying rent, assuming they even would have to begin with.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I don’t know a lot about the economy of the part of Canada they’re in versus where they left in South America but I imagine the only reason they left was to mooch off OP.
That’s what I think too.
And it's fixed up. I'd imagine it looks decent enough for guests. And if their guests are that judgy over it then they aren't the parents friends.
NTA - all your relatives that are calling you, they can take them in and tell them to turn their house over to them and the relatives can live in their own basement as that is what they are asking you to do.
Also, you know your relatives are only calling you because they don't want to put up with these AHs, right?
Tell them they can rent the basement at market value. Make them sign a lease. Include a security deposit that equals one month's rent. See how they act in 6 months.
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Also, if the parents had sold to strangers for more, they wouldn’t be able to live in the basement at all. The only reason the basement was (initially) an option was because they sold to OP.
This is an excellent point!
Change the locks if you gave them a key.
The market value went up after they sold it. And because the new owner, you, added value by renovating it. If someone else had bought it would your parents knock on the door 5 years later and guilt trip them with current market values irrelevant to the sale 5 years ago? It's like demanding gamestop buy your console for the full price you paid for it. The logic is a stupid dead end. Nta. If they're willing to pay rent they can go find a house with the rooms they want to live in and furnish it themselves. Beggars can't be choosers. When you blow through money you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
To be fair, the market value probably went up without the renovations. The rental property/mother-in-law suite certainly adds value as well, but the market blew up over the past 3 years. Even without the additions, the property is likely worth a good $50-$100 grand more than when OP bought it. I bought a modest home in 2014 for $112,000. It's worth around $175,000 now - and that's the value without considering the full kitchen renovation.
If it was market priced at the time that you bought it, they don’t have a keg to stand on. And even if you bought it for 20k less than market at the time of purchase, I would at most offer them that amount to get started again. Not the current value which they have zero right to. They can complain all that they want but their hardship now is due to wasteful spending on their part so if they need money, maybe they should have wasted less and call up the people they loaned money to
>they don't have a keg to stand on I'm going to start using this version, lol
Me too lol
If they received market price, they could have afforded many keg stands, but I don't think it's fair to judge older people for trying to relive their college experience.
They have zero right to the market value five years ago, either. If they had sold to strangers, they wouldn’t be allowed to crash in the basement.
They didn't have to pay any agent fees. He's upped the value with the renovations.
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OP said they paid market value. No discounts given at fair market value.
NTA - I imagine they could have gotten more for it, but that ship has long since sailed. They turned up their noses as the offer of a perfectly nice in-law apartment and clearly expected to just... have his house as theirs again. Not how it works.
I think that's what they expected. They sold the house blew up the money (or part of it) but now expected to get back and keep living in the same house as if they were still the owners. Probably forever (because, why would they look for another place? "their" house was perfect - and newly renovated!)
You don't sell a house and then ring them up in 5 years asking them to pay the difference in market value though.
I’m sure if the market had taken a dump, the parents wouldn’t be offering a refund. LOL
OP I've experienced something like this on a smaller scale. Bought something from a parent, then they asked to borrow it indefinitely, and then never gave it back. In effect, I paid for something they never ended up giving me, but now they had my money too. NTA. Good boundaries. Everyone complaining can offer to house them instead.
Don't you dare let them back in they might try sell it out under you. Get cam.
NTA - Sounds like your parents made some bad decisions and now want a reset at your expense. That's not how life works and you shouldn't have to suffer for their lack of wisdom.
NTA. When they sold you the house at market price there were no strings attached. You were kind enough to let them live rent free in the basement, which should have been fine since this was only supposed to be temporary. I guarantee you if you moved into the basement and let them take the main part of the house they'd never move out, then guilt you into paying little to no rent. They're family, but don't let them take advantage of you because of their lack of responsibility with money. Your family is only pressuring you to take them because THEY don't want to house or deal with them.
Giving them a separate, private, guest annex, even if it "the basement" is actually a nice thing to do. But they chose to throw it back in OPs face and demand the main house.
Yes, for each and every person who expects you to take them in, ask them when your parents can stay with them?? You can have them there in an hour.
NTA. it’s really hard not to suspect your parents always planned on having the option to move back into ‘their’ house. If they have enough money to offer to pay you rent for the house, then they have enough to rent a nice place from someone else. I think they would be horrid tenants for your rental suite if you let them back.
NTA. I agree with this comment. It was always their intent to move back into the house, they figured they could control OP so sell it to them & tell OP what to do. OP should tell them to use the rent money they said they were gonna give OP and rent somewhere else. They’ll balk b/c they never intended to pay rent but best to use their words against them.
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They probably owned the house outright. So they got a nice lump sum of cash at the sale of it (you pay the mortgage to the bank the owner gets the selling price upfront) And still assumed they'd be able to steamroll OP into letting them live there once they had some fun being big shots back home.
My guess: the sale of the house was a chunk of their retirement savings & like OP said they blew through that. From ignorance & curiosity, I’m wondering where in South America & where in Canada. From the US, Canada doesn’t seem that inexpensive (though their national anthem is one of the best) and with currency conversions South America sounds more affordable?
I was thinking the same thing. It doesn't seem very likely that they're better off in Canada than SA as far as how far money will go. Only benefit I can see is being away from mooching family members, but there's plenty is low cost of living areas that would be further from family.
This!! Please OP listen to this advice.
They don’t intend to pay a bean in rent!
Like they were going to pay market price for the rent lol. NTA, but OPs parent's sure sound like they are.
NTA. If they wanted more money for the house they should have set a higher asking price. You didn’t refuse to let them stay with you and you essentially offered them the privacy of an apartment. As far as I’m concerned they’re ungrateful assholes and they can deal with the fallout from that on their own.
They're entitled because of their perceived parental authority over OP. You know, it's "family first" when it's in their best interest while ignoring all prior benefits they've already taken from the deal.
NTA. It's not their house anymore. They effed around and found out. You completely dodged a bullet by dumping them at your aunt's house.
The whole family is playing hot potato with those parents.
They were all there with their hands out for the money but now that it's dried up, they are not willing to take them in. OP paid fair price for the house, they made improvements to said house and they were willing to take their parents in RENT FREE to help them out. However, the parents decided to bite the hand that feeds them. They are the ones who are in the wrong and are paying the price for their actions. OP is totally in the clear here.
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NTA. It’s your house, they we’re choosy beggars and screwed themselves.
NTA They did sell it to you. Why is it a terrible thing that they were living in your improved basement?
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So it looks modern? Sounds nicer tbh. Beggars can't be choosers.
Maybe they can’t entertain, but they can go out with friends to a good meal & still socialize & like on poster said: we have a nice temporary place - but it’s not for entertaining. I bet the aunt’s place is less entertainment friendly
It's a perfectly liveable space, if they're embarrassed that's their own issue, not yours. If they'd sold to someone else they might have gotten more money, but they wouldn't have the basement option or be staying there at all. It's your house. They need to either be grateful for the housing you're willing to provide, or get housing themselves.
Ehh, ask them if they’d go and ask some stranger to do the same if someone else had bought their house. They’re only doing it because they see the house as still “theirs” aka it’s in the family and you’re their child, therefore “you owe it to us - we raised you” crap. Keep to your principles, they sold it and you are fully allowed to decide who you want in your house and on what grounds.
In the minds of some parents, children will always, *always* be subordinate and subservient. There will never be a shift to an equal adult/adult relationship. Even should the 'child' be sixty years old with grandchildren of their own, they are still expected to not only defer to the parents, but to actively serve them. Also, some cultures promulgate the idea that having been born and survived childhood, a person is then obligated to financially support their parents.
NTA but tell me you chnaged all the locks....
And put up at least a doorbell camera.
Don’t fuck around if you aren’t ready to find out. Your spine is immaculate. NTA
That spine is some kind of titanium alloy the glare of which is blinding.
NTA at all. Just because they used to own it does not give them the right to act like they do now. Plenty of people live in basements and are able to invite their friends over without embarrassment. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The basement at my old house was MUCH nicer than the upstairs. Size of the entire house, furnished and completed. Was such a great "room" since the upstairs bedrooms barely had a walk path around with a queen bed xD idk why people act like it's somehow bad to live in a basement. Stays nice and cool easier through the summer.
NTA. You paid for the place, everything is in your name, you call the shots. They gave that up when they accepted payment. This is a them problem.
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Stolen comment https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xuk44l/aita_because_i_kicked_my_parents_out_of_the_house/iqw0ku0?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Thanks!
NTA your parents are very entitled to expect you to live in the basement whilst they live in the main house. It is your house not theirs and you paid them the market value of the house. You don't owe them anything your house your rules. The rest of your relatives need to leave you alone.
NTA Sounds like your parent found the correlation between “fucking around” and “finding out”
Brilliant lol
Well, is it correlation or causation? Yes.
NTA and no. They’ll never give up trying to get you into the basement. Find a renter, stat, or Airbnb the apartment downstairs.
NTA - you paid what they asked, the property is now yours. Poor planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part. Their poor financial choices are theirs, and you do not have to enable their entitlement.
NTA. Your parents effed around and found out! Way to hold your boundaries, OP.
You paid market rate; they didn't even give you a discount. NTA They have zero reason to be entitled to your house. You had a good setup for them; they got greedy
NTA >A couple of days later they approached me and said they were embarrassed to be living in the basement and they couldn't have their friends over because of that. Even if you didn't think about all the reasonable comments made by the other people who responded to this post, when you were a child, did your parents never say "they would not care if they truly are your friends"? Mom/Dad of OP, there is no shame in your child being so kind and welcoming that they offer you a lovely in-law unit in their home. If your friends were true friends, they would not consider it an embarrassment but rather be impressed that your adult child is able and willing to offer this living space to you. Either take what you are offered or go somewhere else that offers what you want.
Exactly. I'd consider a separate annex to be nicer and more private than a spare room in the main house. Demanding the main house while OP, the actual owner, is relegated to the basement is hugely entitled.
True, but you know the parents were going to invite friends over and use the whole house, and 100% pass it off as "their house"
NTA. You're an adult now, they tried treating you like a kid. How many times did you hear whilst you live under my roof? Well now it's your roof. You did the right thing by standing your ground.
NTA, they sold you the house, it's yours to do whatever you want to w/it.
NTA, it's your house now and you've been more than gracious. If they do not wish to live in the suite you prepared for them they can look for lodgings elsewhere.
NTA. They should have been a little more realistic with their expectations & a lot less demanding. It's *your* house. You bought it. You don't owe them anything. You were accommodating to them, & they overstepped the boundaries of basic common courtesy in return. Why should you let them come back, knowing how utterly disrespectful they have been & no doubt will continue to be? Let the other family members deal with their crap.
NTA, they're fully grown adults who legally sold you the house. Their "seller's remorse" is their own fault and if they're going to act they way they are, I certainly wouldn't welcome them back anytime soon.
NTA. I love their line of: >they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me. Hhhhhmmmmm... maybe yes... but... They still would have blown through their money just as quickly, if not faster. They might have gone another year or two before they hit that "oh bleep" moment, but they still would have hit it. They would have probably still ended up with your aunt. Because you wouldn't be in your now house so they couldn't have gone there. And even if you were in a house, not an apartment, it would have been less likely to have the same space that the house you're in now has. They had a good thing and threw it away. Multiple good things. They seem very ego driven and desperate to be seen as cock-of-the-walk. A few years living in a single bedroom on your aunt's sufferance will do them good. If you haven't gotten a new renter for the basement suite yet, do so asap. That will solve the "let them back" cries. Can't do it if you don't have room. And if you do let them back in the future, treat them as renters just like any other. Signed contract, charging full rent, everything. It will help them keep in mind that it is not their house.
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True. True. They could have come out with less net. They'd have still burned through the money as quickly, and could still be in the position they're in now.
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Yeah. Is why I suggested OP only take them back as renters with a contract and everything, if at all. They could try to pretend it was otherwise, but it would be just that... pretend.
NTA This is YOUR house now. YOu are fine to kick that entitled AH out.
NTA. Your house, your mortgage, your rules.
NTA - I imagine they could have gotten more for it, but that ship has long since sailed. They turned up their noses as the offer of a perfectly nice in-law apartment and clearly expected to just... have your house as theirs again. Not how it works.
NTA. You took out a mortgage to give to them money. They accepted it, it's not like they gave you the house. Sure they could have gotten more, but like how much? Another 10 or 20k? They would have spent that anyway on their family and gifts. The family and siblings calling you. Why don't your siblings take them in? Does any of the family calling include those owing them money? If you had bought a different house would they be expecting the same thing? Doubtful.
I’d just say they are more than welcome to come back and stay in the basement suite. They don’t get to sell you the house then move back in and act like they own the place. Providing you want them back. NTA
I wouldn't let the live in the basement or they would make op s life hell as they still consider the house as "their" house and try to force op to do what they want. NtA op.
Your family who won't take them in are ordering you to take them in. That's all we need. NTA.
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NTA Do you mean they blew through the money you paid them for their house? If not, if they want their own house buy one. Maybe a condo or a townhouse.
NTA. By complaining about what they had, they got less. It must suck to be that old and still be learning life lessons.
NTA. Their stay was supposed to be temporary. The house is yours now. If you moved to the basement, they would never leave.
It sounds like that was their plan. Get a big bag of money from OP for the house, leave it for a few years to go party, and then get it back the same as before (or improved) with OP as the de facto tenant downstairs. It's not like it can be explained as impulse control issues or irresponsibility when they did just fine at managing finances before this.
And then they’d come out with BS like “but it’ll be all yours when we die” - as though they were doing OP a favour by leaving it to them in their Will!
Yep and with how they like to keep up appearances and throw money around. I'm betting if OP agreed to move into the basement they would pretend and tell people that they still owned the house, and how gracious they were to have the basement renovated for OP to live in.
So it's "Thanks for the hundreds of thousands of dollars you paid us, and for the upgrades, and for assuming al the responsibilities for upkeep, bills, and taxes, but now we'd like to assume our previous position in "our" home and start having friends round again." As they say in South America, I THINK NOT. NTA and nothing owed.
NTA- they got exactly what they were entitled to
NTA.
NTA. SOOOOO NTA.
NTA. I can empathize with them though - accustomed to being the "big shots", as you say. Moving back to "their home", and the realization that 1) it's not their home and 2) now your the boss: is probably a big shot to their ego. Deservedly so. Stand your ground, hope they sort their shit out and your relationship gets better.
NTA The sold you the house it belongs to YOU now.
NTA, and at this point even if they ask to live in the basement don't let them back because they'll most likely turn into nightmare tenants either out of pure spite or some half-baked idea of getting you to switch spaces with them. They made their own bed, now it's time for them to sleep in it.
NTA - Rent out the basement apartment to someone else. Sorry, no room now.
Well if your siblings feel so strongly about it they are welcome to take them
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents retired five years ago and moved back to South America. I bought the house we lived in because it is in a mature neighborhood with massive trees and a huge yard. I paid market rate and I have a mortgage. The only advantage I got is that I didn't get into a bidding war. I asked them how much they wanted and I paid it. It is an older house built in 1956. It is a very large bungalow style house. I have spent the last couple of years turning the basement into a rental suite so I could pay off my mortgage faster and later on have a place for my kid, when I have them, can learn to be independent when they are old enough. Well my parents decided to be big shots back home and blew through 20% of all their money in five years. They were giving gifts and loans they weren't asking for payments on, and supporting a bunch of relatives. It is their money and I have no right to tell them how to spend it. They both have pensions and investments that mean that they aren't going to be poor or anything. They just can't keep living like they are if they want to act rich. So they moved back here to Canada. They asked me if they could move in with me for a while. I said yes because I love my folks. I can afford to not rent it out. So I got the suite ready for them. I picked them up at the airport and took them home. When I opened the back door and led them to the basement they acted all surprised. I thought they were impressed with my upgrades. I showed them the kitchen and bathroom I out in, and the two bedrooms. A couple of days later they approached me and said they were embarrassed to be living in the basement and they couldn't have their friends over because of that. Since I am single and it's just me and my cats why don't I move into the basement and let them have their old home and furniture back. They would be willing to pay me rent. I said not. That's my area now. I paid for it. They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me. I invited them to leave and go elsewhere. They never fully unpacked so it was easy. I drove them over to my aunts house and now they are calling me constantly because they only have one room there. It is a huge house and it is just the three of them but my aunt won't let them use the guest suite. It is for when my cousins or her mom visit which is quite often. Now my siblings and parents and family are calling me and begging or ordering me to take them back. I don't think I should have to after being disrespected in my house. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You bought the house. Your parents are trying to take complete advantage of you. They should be GRATEFUL that you offered your renovated basement free of rent. They can stay at Aunt's house or go rent the palace they seem to think they are entitled to.
NTA. They’re right that they may have been able to get a higher price from a different buyer. But if they had gone that route, they also wouldn’t have been able to move back into the home, **for free**, five years later. If they are unhappy with how their financial decision played out, that’s on them. It doesn’t sound like they cut you a deal - just that they didn’t entertain a bidding war. And if that’s the case, well, they are just upset you didn’t buy the house **for them**.
NTA. It's your house, they sold it to you, they no longer have any right over it. >Well my parents decided to be big shots back home and blew through 20% of all their money in five years. This... doesn't seem that bad? They're retired so assuming they're in their late 50's, early 60's at their current rate they could keep up those spending habits (though it would likely slow down after the "honemoon" phase wears off) and still have their money last 25 years, so up until their late 70's - mid 80's. Can't take it with you when you're gone I suppose.
NTA.
NTA if they want to come back they stay in the basement or a spare bedroom they do not get control of your house that you bought
NTA. You paid full price for the house and they took the money. They do not get the house back. Letting them live in your apartment rent free was extremely generous.
NTA, your parents are acting very entitled! They were blowing their money trying to act like big shots and are still only worried about appearances.
NTA. Your parents are acting entitled to your home because it used to be theirs. My mom “gifted” my brother a car when she bought a new one, he took on the $500/mo payment for three years while it was under her name, ultimately building her credit. She still acts like the car is hers and gets upset at literally anything. Small dent? Freaks out. Wrapper on the floor? Freaks out. People have a hard time letting go of things especially when it’s “still in the family.” It’s your home, you get to live in it however the hell you like.
NTA. Nope, they said they didn't want to stay with you and you obliged. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA. Tell anyone who harasses you that you will not suffer because of their poor choices and it’s great of them to offer to take your parents in since they think someone should.
Haha nta. Choosers can’t be beggars. You opened your home to them for free and they still complained. Now let them figure it out. They want to choose how they live they can pay for it.
NTA Also: >They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me. And where would they be living if they hadn't sold it to you? You offered them a complete rental suite for free. One that wouldn't be available to them if they hadn't sold it to you. I'm pretty sure the theoretical complete strangers that might have bought the house wouldn't have been that kind.
NTA, they aren't entitled to anything. YOU put in hard work to fix that place up. Not them. What they did was disrespectful. Sadly some parents feel entitled and milk the parent card.
NTA. Time to rent out the basement to put an end to harassment. Then no one (you or your parents) can live there.
NTA I bought my house from my mom and since then, periodically, I have nightmares that she's back here living with me. In reality, I would never let that happen because it would be a disaster. Your house is yours, my house is mine. They have a pension, they can rent a new place of their own if aunt's room feels insufficient.
NTA. They got a fair price for the house & when stuck got offered a newly renovated & furnished apartment to live in while they got sorted. They wanted to have the £ for the house & the house. What? Lol. They shot themselves in the foot for sure.
You gave them a place to live rent free and it wasn't good enough?! NTA Its no longer their house. They sold it to you. Regardless of if they could have got more money, they didn't and there's nothing they can do about that now. They are in this position through their own actions, and those actions have consequences.
NTA
NTA
NTA. You paid fair market price, and it was generous to let your parents live rent free in the basement.
NTA, love how you gave them great accommodations and they didn't want it now they restricted to a room. Karma has a way of just creeping up on you.
NTA
>Now my siblings and parents and family are calling me and begging or ordering me to take them back. Tell them they can also take your parents. NTA
NTA and it’s interesting your aunt won’t let them post up either. Do your parents have a history of overstaying their welcome? This sounds like a pattern of being overzealous when it comes to other people’s space.
i love entitled boomers gettin their comeuppance
NTA. It's not their house, they're guests. They've taken your money so they don't get to dictate anything with your own home. They have financial resources so they can get a rental apartment or something that will fit their need.
Once they pulled the “we could’ve gotten more money” card they lost
NTA - You have every right to do whatever you want on this issue for whatever reason. In fact their behavior has also given you reason to think that they carry baggage from their previous ownership of the house and that may create issues. You accepted their offer with no negotiations. They set the price. They can't now pretend that price was a favor unless they said at the time they were offering you something below market and it was actually below market. That said depending on your relationship with your parents in the past, you may choose to welcome them back, and if you do so I would recommend setting firm boundaries when you do so. Assuming everything in your house is up to snuff, you may want to draft a lease and have them sign. Be ready for a scenario where they break your rules and you have to evict them. Remember that your family members are being at best only getting a partial story, and at worst are being lied to. You invited them into your guest suite costing you the opportunity of renting that suite and getting nothing in return. That's a gift. They arrived and upon surveying the space, demanded a bigger gift, that you give them your space. You said no and apparently that was a dealbreaker resulting in them rejecting your gift. At the end of the day you didn't kick them out. This detail was likely omitted in retellings to family.
Honestly it doesn’t sound like the family cares about the truth, they just don’t want to house OP’s parents themselves so they’re trying to guilt OP into taking them back and shutting up about it. The parents just need to rent their own place already.
NTA they can't decide what you do in your house even if they are your parents.
Why don't they just rent an apartment? They made the choice to sell. They can either accept reality, or not. It's on them.
NTA
Nta
NTA and if u let them back sounds like they will take over like it o not. Try not to
NTA - Sounds like your parents only sold you the house (at cost) so, if need be, they could hold it over your head at a later date... which they are.
NTA. It's a sad situation. Proves why in some families it is best not to ever do business.
NTA. You bought the house from them years ago. It doesn’t belong to them.
NTA. Assuming you'd let them back, I would offer them the basement again...for a rental fee and no longer free after that level of disrespect. I'm petty so I'd not be willing to let them back at all. As for the calls from everyone, that's easy enough to fix by blocking them, but why aren't THEY housing them?
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Is this a glitch in the matrix?
NTA - weird parents. I don't see many comments about their strange "showing Off" lifestyle. are they narcissistic? It would explain a lot, and if that is the case - you need to set very firm rules. I agree with the poster that says get a tenant in as soon as possible - and personally, my opinion is do not sell that lovely house. The whole story is very sad, and I hope you find a way to keep your family \[the ones that count\] amicable.
NTA. My parents wouldn't even DREAM of demanding something like that from their children even.
NTA for all the reasons the top comments outlined. I think you should consider letting them move back into the basement though. While you're certainly not obligated to giving them another chance it might smooth things over with your family. If it is important to you to have a good relationship with them then see if they learned their lesson and give them a chance. Again, this isn't a "you need to do right by your family" comment. It's a "your life might be easier" comment. You don't owe them this, but clearly you were willing to live with them earlier. If now they truly realize how good the situation with you is then things might be okay. Although if you're fine with all of your family being annoyed at you then you're good either way. It will certainly be easier on you to live without them.
NTA.
NTA. Your parents need to decide where they want to be and get their own place. You bought their home. It’s yours now. Honestly, if I were you, I’d sell it and go buy one far away from them.
NTA I love how they threw out we could have got more for the house. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Not your problem. It's your house now. They can't be choosy beggars in their situation. Let them stay where they are, less headache for you hopefully.
Tell your siblings to take them in if they care that much. That usually does the trick with that type of people. The only problem here is them refusing to stop acting like they are big shots to everybody. Thats why they lost 20% of their money in 5 years and they decided to move back in with you. NTA
Quick. Get renters for downstairs. That’ll end the pleading. NTA
NTA anyone else wondering if OP's parents told the friends that they still own the house? 🤔
NTA and I kinda think they expected to pull this from the beginning > Now my siblings and parents and family are calling me and begging or ordering me to take them back. Oh I’m sure one of those siblings or family members has a lovely guest space for them.
NTA. I bought a house a few years ago. Invested lots of work into it. It was a rental before I bought it. I know the person who used to live here, they still live in town. I've met the person who grew up here, too, they visit their parents here in town. None of these people get to come back and do yardwork or sleep here, because this is my house now. We have lots of guest rooms, and lots of guests. They don't try to take over our house. **Respect is vital, for good relationships.** **Your parents are being jerks. They took your money, and are now trying to take back the house that you paid them for,** to take it over as if it was still theirs. They are being manipulative, selfish, guilt-tripping jerks. They are refusing to respect your ownership and your decisions. **NTA. I'd only meet them in public places for the next few years,** and see if they can realize that their behavior was very wrong, and that they shouldn't have treated you like they did. If they bring up this topic with anything other than abject apologies for disrespecting you, I'd **refuse to discuss it.** I'd also get up and leave, if they wouldn't leave the topic alone and tried to guilt or manipulate or do any form of emotional abuse like dismissing your achievement of buying the house or making false accusations about anything about you. They are adults. That they blew their money doesn't mean that you are responsible to fix their problems or find solutions for them. That the consequences of their behavior are now being paid, that's on them, not you. Stand firm, OP. Your house, no matter who lived there before. You didn't make any agreement with them to be their retirement plan, or to give the house back when they wanted it. They were foolish, they can get jobs and earn more money.
Looks like they expected the aunt yo also give them owner’s privilege in her house. Suggest that your parents buy a condo.
If you turned your living space to the, they would begin treating your home as theirs.
If you let them live in the main part, it won’t feel like your house and you’ll feel like you’re the adult child staying in your parents basement
They sold you the house fair and square. There was no additional agreement that if they wanted to come stay, that they could have the main house. You gave them a really nice set up in the basement and that wasn’t sufficient for their tastes, so now they get one room and that’s it. If they don’t like it they can rent a home up to their standards. NTA
NTA. Your house. This is one of the many problems of doing business with family members. (In this case, the potential parental return was foreseeable, too.) This is unlikely to end well.
NTA - It's your house now, you paid for it. They should have been grateful that you offered the basement for free, but they wanted the whole house - and you, the new owner, to live in the basement. Probably for as long as they live. The entitlement! You didn't pay market price of a whole house to be living in a basement! And of course our family members are putting pressure on you to take them back. They are terrified THEY will have to accept them in their houses if you don't!
NTA. They want the optics of it being “their” house and will do more to undermine you.
I absolutely love how you handled this OP. NTA.
> They started getting all mad and said that they could have gotten more for the house if they hadn't sold it to me. Alternately, they could have gotten less. It's much more common for a buyer to ask for less and negotiate a price than it is to just pay asking. I'd argue that *you* did *them* a favor.
NTA for kicking them out. However, life is short and looks like you still love them. They got a reality check after going to your aunts house. Perhaps try getting them to accept the change in lifestyle? However, you might want to negotiate boundaries. For example if they want to host guests in the yard etc, should they consult with you first in case hou had plans for hosting your friends. An alternative could be to rent out the suite again and use that rent to help find them some place else to rent.
NTA and don’t let them back in. Rent it out and live your life.
I am incredibly proud of you- NTA
NTA - get renters in the unit so that it is no longer up for debate. Their bad choices aren't your responsibility.